Chapter 11:

When Buffy woke up, the harsh rays of the afternoon sun were covering her, keeping her warm. She noticed the masculine arm draped over her side and smiled softly. She began to look around the rest of the room, seeing how many things were moved or scattered about. Their clothes from the night before littered the ground, and she saw several empty condom wrappers on the floor beside the bed.

‘God, if a maid were to walk in and see this, she’d probably cringe,’ Buffy thought. ‘And I would be way too embarrassed to make someone else clean this up.’ She began to lean over the edge of the bed to try to grab the reminders of her night with Spike, but his grip on her tightened, pulling her back to him.

“Already trying to run away from me, pet?” he asked quietly, finally opening his eyes to look at her. She turned on her side to face him and saw the dreamy look in his eyes. “Good morning, beautiful.”

“Hi,” she said quietly, smiling when he gently grazed her cheek.

“Has anyone ever told you that you look like an angel in the morning?” he asked, studying the way she glowed, especially with the sunlight covering her.

“I look like Angel?” she joked, giggling. He chuckled and kissed her forehead.

“No, because if you did, I sure as hell wouldn’t have feelings like this for you,” he replied, slowly running his hand down her side, resting it on her hip. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah,” she answered, slightly stretching, showing off more of her skin to him. “Did you?”

“You have no idea how well,” he replied before becoming insecure. “Last night…do you regret it?”

“No,” she answered, frowning. “Why? Do you?” He shook his head, taking her hand in his and kissing it.

“I just didn’t want you to wake up this morning regretting what happened,” he said. “Was it a one-time deal?”

“Not unless you want it to be,” she answered, inwardly praying that it wouldn’t be the end for them.

“No, I don’t want this to stop,” he said, looking into her eyes. “You mean a lot to me, Buffy.” She smiled softly. “And I can’t thank you enough for giving me a chance last night. I know I’ve been a wanker to you since we met, but I think it was only because I wanted you so much and thought you were unattainable.”

“Was that your indirect way of apologizing?” she asked, giggling. He frowned before playfully tickling her. She shrieked and curled up against him, effectively stopping his assault on her.

“I’m sorry, pet,” he whispered, kissing her shoulder. She looked at him and saw the sincerity in his eyes. “Now, what do you say we go hop in the shower?” She laughed and sat up, pulling the sheets up to cover her chest.

“Weren’t you satisfied enough last night?” she asked jokingly. “Between the bed, the tub, the couch, the floor…I’m sad to report that I’m a little sore.” He frowned.

“I’m sorry, luv,” he said, running his hand down her back slowly, causing a chill to run up her spine. “I didn’t mean to wear you out or hurt you.” She rested her hand on his abs.

“I’m fine,” she smiled, and as the phone rang, she grabbed it and handed it to Spike. “I’ll be in the shower.” He frowned and nodded before talking on the phone. She walked into the bathroom and saw rose petals scattered around on the floor from the night before and grinned.

‘This trip just keeps getting better and better,’ she thought.

* * *

After spending their last day in Vegas together, it was time to pack up their things once again and get back on the bus to head to Reno. They hadn’t told anyone else that they had slept together, but it was somewhat obvious to the others, especially when they would sneak in kisses whenever they thought that no one else was looking.

After the bus got on the expressway to travel to the next stop, Buffy sat in the main part of the bus with her laptop, e-mailing Lilah, while Spike finished talking to Oz and went to sit with her.

“So, when do I get to interview you?” she asked, looking at him. “Your interview is the most important.”

“I told you once before that I didn’t want to be interviewed, didn’t I?” he asked, frowning.

“Yeah, but that was before,” she said. “Things have changed. I thought you’d be more agreeable now.”

“I still don’t want to be interviewed, luv,” he replied, crossing his arms.

“Then why did you agree to have me come on this trip in the first place if you didn’t want to be interviewed?” she asked, looking at him.

“I was outvoted- I didn’t want you here,” he said before realizing too late how bad of an answer that was. She stood up quickly and stormed to her bunk bed, laying down on it and closing her eyes, trying not to cry.

‘I know he was against me before we met,’ she thought. ‘But I can’t believe he said that to me, after everything that’s happened.’

Spike took a deep breath before walking to the sleeping area and sitting on the bunk across from hers.

“Buffy, I want you here,” he said sadly, looking at the hurt etched into her features, even though she wasn’t looking at him. “You know I’ve never really liked the idea of the band being written about in some magazine, but it’s your job, and I’m not going to stand in the way of that.”

“So you’ll let me interview you?” she asked quietly, looking at him. He sighed.

“No,” he answered, and she stared at him, more angry than upset.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to ‘stand in the way’ of my job?” she asked sternly.

“I’m not, but I don’t want to be interviewed,” he said firmly. “It’s not my style.” He smirked slightly. “You should know what my style is now, pet. You know a lot more about me, don’t you?”

“Because sleeping with someone gives you so much insight into their life,” she said sarcastically before turning on her side, facing away from him. He frowned and stood up.

“Buffy, I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I know you’re cross with me, but this is just the way I am.”

“Yeah, apparently,” she mumbled. He sighed. “Just go away, Spike, before I do something I’ll regret.” She paused. “No, wait, I’ve already done something I regret.” She turned to look at him.

“What are you saying, luv?” he asked, both confused and hurt. “You regret what we did?”’

“I was insane to think that things had changed between us,” she replied, angry.

“And I was insane to think-” he began before cutting himself off. “No, you’re right- you are insane.”

“Screw you,” she replied sharply before sarcastically laughing. “Oh wait! I’ve already done that!”

“And bitchy Buffy returns,” he said, furious, before throwing his arms up, exasperated. “Fine, pet, if this is how you want to play the game, then I quit.”

“The game is already over, Spike,” she said, closing her eyes to hold in the tears that had formed. “You lost.”

“But I got what I wanted from you, so I guess I didn’t lose, now did I?” he asked. She closed the curtain that separated her from him and began to quietly cry. He clenched his jaw and went to the mini-refrigerator on the bus.

‘Damn it,’ he thought, grabbing the bottle of Jack Daniels he had stored in there. ‘I really screwed up this time.’ He opened the bottle and took a large gulp from it. ‘But it’s nothing I can’t wash away with my pal Jack here.’
***************************************************************************

 

Chapter 12:
After they arrived at the club in Reno, Buffy went to the bathroom inside the building and changed into a different outfit for the night before going to the bar and sitting down, ordering her traditional Cosmopolitan. Angel eventually came out and sat beside her, ready to do damage control.

“Hey, Buffy,” he said quietly before ordering a beer. “How’s everything going?” She looked into her drink.

“What do you know?” she asked sadly. “Did he fill you in on all of the details?”

“Spike hasn’t told me anything,” he replied. “All he’s said is that you’re ‘a frustrating bird’ and that he doesn’t understand how things went wrong so fast.” She looked at him. “So I’ve got to ask- what went wrong?”

“I let him in,” she answered, once again looking at her drink. “You all told me how great of a man he could be, and I decided to believe you because you’ve known him longer. But as it turns out, he’s not such a great man and I shouldn’t have given him a chance.”

“I know that you two…formed some sort of a bond,” Angel said, carefully choosing his words. “I don’t need to know more details than that, but…I really think you two should work things out.” She looked at him. “We’re all sharing a bus together for the next couple of weeks, and I don’t want to-”

“What if I went home?” she asked, instantly liking the idea. “I’ve interviewed Xander and Oz, Spike doesn’t want to be involved with it at all, and I think I’ve learned enough. Why stay longer when it could jeopardize something here?”

“Or if it’s going to hurt you more,” he added, understanding. She nodded hesitantly. “I can’t stop you, Buffy, but before you make a rash decision like heading home so early on, promise me that you’ll really think things through. We’ve got two weeks left to go- that’s plenty of time to patch things up with him.”

“I don’t know if I really want to ‘patch things up with him’,” she replied, finishing her drink. “He said some pretty…awful things to me, and I don’t know how easy it would be to forgive him for that.”

“I’m sure it will be difficult,” he said, standing up. “And I know that he can be a major ass sometimes, but he also has the talent of really surprising people.” She looked down, knowing just how well he was at surprises. “Don’t just cut him off yet. I know things aren’t in a good place right now, but that can change, Buffy. You have the chance to make it change.” She watched him as he walked to the backstage, disappearing from view.

‘He’s right,’ she thought, sighing. ‘But I still don’t know what I’m going to do.’

* * *

After stumbling offstage, Spike grabbed another beer bottle from a table backstage and instantly cracked it open. Angel quickly grabbed it from him before slamming it down.

“What the bloody hell was that for?” Spike asked, slurring. Xander and Oz walked over to them, equally as mad as Angel was.

“You’re beyond drunk,” Angel said sternly, crossing his arms. “And you made a fool out of yourself in front of everyone.”

“So what?” Spike asked, trying to grab the bottle once again, but Angel blocked him and pushed him back.

“‘So what’?” Xander asked loudly, throwing his arms up. “We got boo-ed offstage, man! Do you know how embarrassing that is? You were off-key, didn’t know half of the words, and you insulted some woman in the front row. You sucked tonight, and the rest of us have to take the fall with you because you decided to get plastered before the show.”

“And during,” Oz added quietly. Spike looked between his band-mates.

“Maybe I wouldn’t have sucked so bad if you two wankers would’ve played the songs better,” he replied sharply. “Harris, you were off at least once in every single song. How the hell am I supposed to sing if the music isn’t right?”

“This isn’t my fault,” Xander replied, crossing his arms. “You messed up tonight, Spike. What the hell were you thinking?”

“I’m not going to take this from you,” Spike said, heading towards the exit.

Buffy walked into the backstage area, hearing their loud voices before she even walked through the door. She knew that they were fighting and rightfully so- Spike made them look horrible.

“Hold up,” Oz said before Spike could leave. “We still have our equipment onstage.”

“I don’t bloody care,” he replied. “I quit.”

* * *

Buffy was shocked, to say the least, and when she saw the panic on the faces of the three men surrounding her, she quickly followed Spike out and inside the tour-bus, figuring that maybe she could do something to stop him from making such a big mistake.

‘He can’t just throw this away,’ she thought. ‘I know I don’t owe him anything right now, but the others deserve to keep the band afloat.’

She saw him go into the back bedroom before he opened a set of drawers and began to pull things out of them.

“Why are you doing this, Spike?” she asked, leaning against the doorframe of the bedroom. He didn’t look at her as he began to throw his clothes on the bed.

“Because I’m sick of this,” he replied sternly. “I’m sick of the tour…the band…and you.” She nodded, deciding not to get upset by his words.

‘This isn’t about me right now,’ she thought, trying to mentally keep herself in check.

“You had one bad show, Spike- that’s not a good enough reason to quit the band,” she said. “You love being onstage with them, singing the songs you’ve all written together. You’ve known them for years, and they’re your friends, not just your band-mates. Why would you think of walking away from them, from this great opportunity you have?”

“Because it’s not what I want anymore,” he said, grabbing a duffel bag and shoving his clothes inside. “I don’t want to be in a band- I want to be a solo artist. That way I know all of my success belongs to me and no one else.”

“Don’t you think that’s a bit selfish?” she asked, walking into the room to sit on the bed.

“I don’t sodding care,” he replied, looking at her. “This is all your fault, you know.” She raised an eyebrow.

“How is this my fault?” she asked. “I wasn’t the one onstage who made an ass of himself.”

“If you wouldn’t have pissed me off so much before, I wouldn’t have gotten drunk,” he answered. “And then I wouldn’t have screwed up as badly as I did onstage.” She frowned.

“You getting drunk was your own choice,” she said calmly. “And maybe I facilitated your decision and gave you a reason to do it, but it’s not my fault, and don’t you dare accuse me of it.”

“Shove off, Buffy,” he said sharply, closing up his bag. “I’m dissolving the band, and that’s final.” He walked to the door. “I would think you’d be happy with the change of events.”

“Why’s that?” she asked, looking at him.

“Because you get to go home and never see me again,” he said before turning and walking out, leaving the bus.

‘Maybe I get to go home, but I’m sure I’ll be seeing you again, Spike,’ she thought. ‘This isn’t close to being over.’
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Chapter 13:

The next morning, Buffy woke up and felt the bus moving, rolling along underneath her.

‘Guess we really are heading home,’ she thought, getting up and walking to the main part of the bus, not caring that she was still in her pajamas. Oz, Xander, and Angel were sitting on two couches that faced each other, talking. She sat beside Angel and took a deep breath.

“So, what’s going to happen from here?” she asked quietly, looking at all of them.

“He quit the band,” Xander replied, looking down. “What else is there to the story?”

“Are you going to try and replace him, or are you and Oz jumping ship, too?” she asked.

“We don’t know,” Oz answered, shrugging. “We haven’t really thought about our options yet.”

“We’re more focused on the friend that abandoned us,” Xander replied sternly.

“Where is he?” she asked. “Did he stay behind in Reno?”

“He flew home,” Angel answered. “Probably early this morning. I’m sure he’s back in his apartment right now, packing up.”

“He’s leaving?” she asked, surprised.

“Who knows?” Xander replied. “Maybe. He never really liked it here, anyways.”

“You think he’ll return to London?” she asked quietly, a part of her hoping that he wouldn’t.

“Will you lay off with the questions for a minute?” Xander asked, angry. “All you care about is your stupid article!”

“Xander,” Angel said in a warning tone, looking at the other man. “Shut up.”

“I don’t care about the article,” she shot back, crossing her arms and standing up. “I didn’t even want this assignment in the first place. As far as I’m concerned now, there is no article. I care about all of you, and all I’m trying to do is help.” Xander looked down, frowning.

“I’m sorry, Buffy,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just on edge.”

“I know,” she said, walking over to him and giving him a small hug. “I’m sorry that this happened, and I know it’s partially my fault.” He looked at her, confused. “If I hadn’t come on the trip with you guys, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Or maybe we were doomed to implode early on?” he said, shrugging. “It’s not your fault, Buffy.”

“Besides, I think you added a lot to the trip,” Angel said, smiling slightly. “It was like we had an official groupie or something.”

“A ‘band-aid’?” she asked, smirking at him. He chuckled.

“From ‘Almost Famous’, right?” he asked, and she nodded. “That movie’s the reason I enlisted Lilah to send a reporter along with us.” She smiled.

“It’s a good movie,” she said. “And even though things didn’t work out as well as they should’ve, I’m happy I came on tour with you all. It’s been a pleasure.” She returned to her bunk and pulled out her laptop, preparing to tell Lilah the bad news.

* * *

When her cell phone rang an hour later, she wasn’t surprised to hear Lilah’s voice on the other end.

“What do you mean, they broke up?” she asked, angry. “What happened?”

“It’s a long story, but the lead singer quit last night,” Buffy answered cautiously.

“Well, I can’t say I expected that,” Lilah replied, calming down. “Well, I guess their loss is our gain.”

“What do you mean?” Buffy asked, confused.

“The article will be a hell of a lot more interesting now, won’t it?” Lilah said. “People love reading about the downfall of celebrities and bands. This won’t be any different.”

“You want to capitalize off of the break-up?” Buffy asked, trying not to become upset. “Why don’t we just scrap the article and let these guys keep their dignity?”

“Have you ever heard of a magazine go out of its way to preserve someone’s dignity?” Lilah asked. “No. So why would we be any different?”

“Because they deserve a lot more than to be trampled on just so the magazine can make a few dollars and capture more interest,” Buffy said firmly. “I don’t want to write an article about this, Lilah.”

“Then you’re fired,” she replied instantly. Buffy looked down, thinking about her boss’ words. “What do you say to that?”

“If I write it, I’d be compromising all of my values just to appease you,” Buffy said quietly.

“So? Are you in or are you out?” Lilah asked, and Buffy took a deep breath.

“I’m in,” she said. “But I’m doing things my way, got me?”

“Whatever you say,” Lilah replied. “Just write the article and hand it in to me, Buffy. That’s your job.” She hung up, and Buffy looked at the three men, still sitting on the couches in the front of the bus.

‘I can’t do this to them,’ she thought. ‘Why did I say I’d write it?’ She sighed. ‘I need this job, and if I quit or get fired, I’ve got nothing. I can’t let Dawnie down, not now.’ She lay down on a pillow, closing her eyes. ‘What do I do now?’ She paused. ‘I write the article, that’s what I do. And if it makes Spike sound like a jerk…well then that’s what’s going to happen.’

* * *

When Buffy walked into her apartment the next morning, Xander behind her, they dropped all of her luggage off in her kitchen.

“So, it looks like this is the last stop,” Buffy said, looking at him. He nodded, putting his hands in his pockets. “It was a pleasure touring with you, Xander, and I wish you and Oz a lot of luck.”

“You too,” he replied before hugging her. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you and Spike.” She looked at him. “I was the one who called you that one afternoon in Vegas. He told me all about the debauchery you two engaged in.” She blushed and looked down. “I wish things would’ve been better for you two. You deserve it.” She looked up at him once again. “Maybe I’ll see you around town.” She nodded. “Goodbye, Buffy.”

“Goodbye, Xander,” she said sadly, watching him leave. She closed the door behind him and wasn’t surprised when Dawn walked into the kitchen. She had called to tell her what had happened after getting off of the phone with Lilah, keeping the more personal details private. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Dawn said, hugging her older sister. “I couldn’t help but hear what Xander said to you.” Buffy looked down. “You and Spike…?”

“We gave it a shot,” she answered quietly. “It didn’t work.” Dawn ran her hand over Buffy’s hair.

“I’m sorry,” she replied sincerely. “I had hoped you two would hook up.”

“That’s because you wouldn’t mind him as a brother-in-law,” Buffy said in a light tone. “But to no avail- I’m single Buffy again.”

“And is single Buffy okay?” Dawn asked, noticing the sad look in her sister’s eyes.

“She will be,” she answered. “She’s just battling some inner turmoil right now.”

“Is there anything I can help you with?” Dawn asked, trying to be helpful.

“No, but thank you,” Buffy replied. “Things will work out in due time.”

‘I hope.’
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Chapter 14:
A week later, Buffy walked into Lilah’s office and took a deep breath before sitting in the chair in front of her editor’s desk. Lilah looked at her employee with a stern expression.

“Why haven’t I received your article yet?” she asked, crossing her arms. “It’s been more than enough time.”

“I just don’t know how to broach the subject of the lead singer,” Buffy answered honestly, looking down. “Every draft I’ve written makes him sound like a jerk, and even though he is, a part of me can’t write something that’s so clearly negative about him.”

“Were you boning him or something?” Lilah asked, raising an eyebrow, and Buffy looked at her boss, shocked.

“What?” Buffy asked, hoping she didn’t give away the truth.

“Not to sound unprofessional, but I don’t see why you’d be on this guy’s side after everything he did to his friends,” Lilah replied. “And I’m guessing that he did something pretty horrible to you, as well, but that’s not keeping you from telling the public how awful he is. So, what gives? Did you two have a secret tryst? Several midnight romps?”

“If you expect me to discuss this with you, think again,” Buffy replied, both upset and angry. “You’re my boss, and you’re right- you did sound unprofessional.”

“Then don’t think of me as your boss for a minute,” Lilah suggested. “Think of me as your friend.” She paused. “Or therapist, your choice. I might be more comfortable with the latter.”

‘So would I,’ Buffy thought. ‘But I just want to get the hell out of here.’

“There’s nothing between Spike Crawford and I,” Buffy answered, looking down. “There was for a little while but not anymore. That’s all I’m going to say on the matter, so don’t try forcing out more.”

“Do you owe him anything?” Lilah asked. “And I’m not talking about money or material items.” Buffy looked at her boss. “Did he hurt you? Emotionally?”

“Sure, but I deserved what he said, and it’s not like I didn’t say some pretty wretched things to him, too,” Buffy replied. “I know it should be easy for me to write this article and blame everything on Spike, but I really don’t think I want to do that. For some reason, I don’t know if he deserves it.”

“Maybe because on some level you still care about him,” Lilah said, shrugging. “But one of the rules a reporter is supposed to follow is to not let your emotions get involved. That can lead to forming biases or not writing things accurately, which in turn makes an article not so print-worthy. Understand?” Buffy nodded slightly.

“Have you talked to Angel?” she asked quietly, and Lilah nodded. “How does he feel about me writing the article still?”

“He said it’s your decision if you write it and what the content is,” Lilah answered. “I think he feels pretty betrayed, just like the other two band-mates, but he’s a survivor.” Lilah laughed quietly.

“Did he say if the other two guys were going to keep the band and replace Spike, or are they maybe just going to call it quits, too?” Buffy asked, and Lilah shook her head, studying the woman sitting in front of her.

“Careful, Summers- it almost sounds as if you’ve formed an attachment to these guys,” Lilah smiled, and Buffy looked down. “I only know the bare minimum about what’s going on. If you want answers, go see Angel. I’m sure my cousin can fill in the blanks for you.” Buffy stood up. “But remember what I said about involving your emotions in the article.” Buffy looked at her editor. “Letting your feelings dictate an article doesn’t always lead to the best reports. They tend to make things boring.”

“Feelings are what make you human,” Buffy replied, walking to the door before looking at her boss. “But I guess you wouldn’t know anything about that, Lilah.” Buffy walked out of the office, and Lilah smiled, nodding.

‘There’s hope for her yet,’ she thought.

* * *

Less than an hour later, Buffy arrived on Angel’s doorstep and took a deep breath before knocking on the door. He opened it and was surprised to see her.

“Hello, Buffy,” he said, opening the door wider so she could walk inside.

“Hi, Angel,” she replied, moving past him and looking around the large loft apartment. “This is really nice.”

“It helps when your parents have money sometimes,” he said, smiling softly. She returned the gesture. “Can I get you anything? A drink, perhaps?”

“Actually, I just came to get some information,” she answered. “About the band.”

“And Spike?” he asked, looking at her with a knowing expression. She looked down. “Have a seat.” He ushered her to sit on one of the black leather couches in his living room area. She sat down and watched as he walked to the kitchen. “I have water, soda, juice, a bottle of Jack Daniels…”

‘Probably left over from Spike,’ she thought, sighing.

“Soda is fine,” she answered, and he returned to her, handing her a can. “Thanks.” He nodded and sat down on a parallel chair.

“So, I’m assuming you’re still writing the article?” he asked casually, clasping his hands together.

“Yeah,” she said, shrugging. “Your cousin is kind of forcing me to.” He laughed.

“I assumed as much,’ he replied. “Well, fire away, Miss Reporter. What do you want to know?”

“Is the band over?” she asked. “Or are Xander and Oz looking to replace Spike?”

“That’s all up in the air right now,” he answered. “They don’t want it to end, so I’m betting that you’ll see them onstage again eventually.” She smiled and looked away. “You miss him, don’t you?”

“I miss being away from Sunnydale,” she said quietly. “And all that that implies.”

“Do you want to hear about him?” he asked, noticing that she was slightly fidgeting.

“It’s probably best if I don’t,” she answered, looking at Angel once again. “It’ll only make things harder.”

“Why is that?” Angel asked curiously.

“Because my feelings will get in the way of me writing my article,” she said. “Well, that’s what Lilah thinks, and sadly enough, I have to agree with her. Reporters aren’t really supposed to have feelings.”

“Explains the cold-hearted bitch vibe you used to give off,” a voice said from above them. She froze as she looked up at the loft, seeing Spike appear at the railing. “Hello, cutie.”
***************************************************************************


 

Chapter 15:

Buffy’s mind was reeling as she stared at Spike, looming above her.

‘Why is he here? How long has he been listening?’ she asked herself, beginning to panic. ‘I never should’ve come here. This was a bad idea…a very, very bad idea.’

Spike slowly descended the stairs, never once taking his eyes off of hers.

‘She’s pretty cute when she looks flustered,’ he thought as he sat beside her on the couch.

“What’re you doing here?” she asked quietly, somewhat nervous.

‘This wasn’t supposed to happen,’ she thought. ‘I wasn’t supposed to see him this soon.’

“I was invited, luv,” he answered, smiling slightly. “It’s my friend’s apartment, after all.” He looked between her and Angel. “I should be the one asking you that same question.”

“Needed information for my article,” she said, looking down. “But I’m sure you know that, what with listening and everything to the conversation.”

“What makes you think I was listening?” he asked, smirking. She looked at him, surprised. “Who am I kidding? Of course I was listening. I wasn’t just sitting up there and muting you out.”

“I’ll let you two talk,” Angel said, heading towards his door. “Please don’t destroy anything in my absence. If anything gets broken, I’m making one of you pay.” He smiled softly at Buffy before leaving. She took a deep breath as Spike focused on her once again.

“So, you’re writing the article still, it seems,” Spike said. “Didn’t know if you would or not.”

“It’s my job,” she replied, studying a chip in Angel’s glass coffee table.

“So, what are you going to write about me?” he asked, deciding to cut to the chase.

‘Don’t need to string the conversation along,’ he thought. ‘It’s obvious she doesn’t want to be alone here with me, and rightfully so. Not like her and I split up on good terms.’

“I don’t know,” she answered simply, not willing to look at him. “I suppose I should be honest, though, shouldn’t I?”

“I’m not the reporter here,” he replied, shrugging. “I don’t really know how you should be, but as a reader, honesty usually makes the best news.”

“Then I guess it’s going to be one amazing article,” she said, suddenly filling with anger, choosing to stop holding back her feelings. She looked at him, her eyes narrowing. “I can tell everyone about how you screwed over your band-mates in hopes that you could have a solo career. About how you got absolutely shit-faced before a show, made a jackass out of yourself, and left your friends high and dry in Reno during the first week of the tour. In fact, I could totally ruin any thoughts of you becoming a solo artist with this article. People aren’t going to support a guy who’s selfish, rude, and disloyal.” She smirked. “Sounds like a pretty interesting story to me, don’t you think?”

“Captivating,” he said sternly. She looked away, nodding.

“Yeah, I think it’ll be a big hit,” she replied. He took a deep breath and looked at her.

“I know I was a wanker to you, pet,” he said quietly. “The things I said to you were uncalled for, and the way I treated you was equally as bad. You didn’t deserve it, and I’m sorry.” She looked at him, crossing her arms.

“I’m not going to say that I didn’t deserve it because I did,” she said. “I was pretty horrible to you, too, Spike, but unlike you, I’m not going to apologize. I gave as good as I got…and I think it was worth it.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“What happened with us wasn’t exactly good,” she answered. “We didn’t start off on the right foot, and a couple of days later, we’re sleeping together in Vegas?”

“I didn’t hear you complaining at the time,” he said, somewhat angry, clenching his jaw.

“That’s because I didn’t see how wrong it was then,” she replied. “I thought things between us were going to get better after that night, but they didn’t.” She paused. “I’m pretty sure we already discussed this, haven’t we? Isn’t this what started the fight between us?” He nodded, looking down. “But my point is, it was a bad idea and pretty unprofessional of me to even think of getting involved with you. I’m sorry that things didn’t pan out, but I think we both knew somewhere inside that they wouldn’t.” He looked at her. “Have you apologized to them?”

“Xander and Oz?” he asked, and she nodded. “We met up last night here.”

“Are things patched up between you three?” she asked, and he shrugged.

“I don’t quite know if they ever will be, but I’m making an effort to fix things,” he said. She smiled softly.

“Good,” she replied. “I’m glad to hear it.” She looked at her watch and sighed. “I should probably go.”

“Can I ask you something first, luv?” he asked, and she hesitantly nodded. “Do you regret what happened in Vegas?”

“Sometimes,” she answered, looking down.

“I guess ‘sometimes’ is something,” he said, smiling softly. She looked at him and saw what she considered to be a hopeful look in his eyes. She stood up and walked to the door. “Am I going to see you again?”

“I don’t know,” she said, not turning to look at him. “It’s a small town- it’s not like I can hide.” He smirked.

“And I know where you live,” he added. She smiled to herself and opened the door. “Bye, Buffy.”

“Goodbye, Spike,” she said, letting herself out and closing the door behind her before leaning back against it.

‘Why do I always get myself into trouble?’ she asked herself before leaving quickly and dialing a number on her cell phone. She smiled when someone picked up on the other line.

“Hi, Willow.”

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Buffy and Willow were seated at a table in the Espresso Pump, drinking coffee.

“So, what do you think I should do?” Buffy asked the redhead. “I mean, whatever I write will affect your fiancé and his career, too.”

“Don’t worry about Oz,” Willow said. “This is more about you and Spike.”

“But it shouldn’t be,” Buffy replied. “I’m just a reporter who was involved in the mess. The guys are the ones who matter in this, not me.” She looked down. “Do I tell people the truth? What Spike did?”

“Is that what you want to do?” Willow asked. “Will it make things better for you? Easier?” Buffy looked at her. “Will you be better able to cope with things?”

“I guess, maybe,” Buffy answered, shrugging. “But I don’t know if I really want to write an article that’s clearly bashing Spike.”

“Because you care about him,” Willow said quietly, smiling softly.

“You’re the second person who has suggested that today,” Buffy replied.

“Then it must be true,” Willow said. “Isn’t it?” Buffy looked down once again and nodded. “It makes sense that you don’t want to write something bad about him.”

“Even if on some level I think he deserves it?” she asked. Willow shrugged. “I do care about him, Willow, and yeah, maybe he deserves it, but I should be the better person, right? I should write something that covers what happened neutrally and doesn’t hurt him more, don’t you think?”

“Will that make you happy?” Willow asked. “Will writing an article like that make you feel better about things?”

“I don’t know,” Buffy answered. “I guess it might be a start.” Willow smiled softly. “Have you always been this wise?”

“I read a lot,” Willow replied, and Buffy laughed. “I know things with you and Spike didn’t work out, but you’ve got to look at the surrounding factors of that situation. You were traveling together, didn’t know much about one another, and didn’t exactly get along in the first place.” She took a sip of her coffee. “Maybe you should reevaluate things and decide if maybe he deserves another shot.”

“Have you talked to him?” Buffy asked, raising an eyebrow. “Because it would seem that you know more than just what I’ve told you.”

“Oz has told me a little,” the redhead said. “And yes, I did run into Spike the other day. He seemed pretty troubled about things, especially everything concerning you.”

“Did he say something about me giving him ‘another shot’?” Buffy asked quietly, and Willow took a deep breath before nodding. “Are you serious?”

“He wants to start over with you, except it would be right this time,” Willow said. “He wants to try again and prove to you that he’s not the man you witnessed on tour.”

“Do you think I should give him another chance?” Buffy asked, looking into her half-empty mug.

“I think you should do what makes you happy,” Willow said. “You’re the only one who knows what’s good for you, Buffy. You just need to think things through and maybe the answer will come to you.”

“Are you indirectly telling me I should try again with Spike?” she asked, smiling slightly.

“You bet your ass I am,” Willow replied, laughing. “He’s my friend, too, you know, and I want him to be happy.”

“I’ll think about it,” Buffy replied before getting up and hugging Willow. “Thank you for this.”

“Of course,” Willow replied. “That’s what friends do.” Buffy smiled. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with my fiancé.”

“Say hi to Oz for me,” Buffy said, and Willow nodded. “Bye, Will.” She gave Buffy a little wave before walking away, and Buffy sat down once again, looking at her coffee.

‘What’s the worst that can happen?’ she asked herself. ‘I know- he could hurt me more.’ She sighed. ‘But I can do just as much damage.’ She closed her eyes for a brief second. ‘But things could be better, and I think him and I both deserve that, don’t we?’
***************************************************************************


 

Chapter 16:

The following couple of days were hell for Buffy. She had written easily thirty drafts of the article and hated each and every one of them.

‘Either they sound generic or mediocre,’ she thought. ‘Why can’t I write this piece and be done with it already?’

She heard a knock on her door and sighed.

“Can you get that, Dawnie?” she asked loudly, hoping her little sister heard her.

“Yeah,” Dawn replied, exiting her bedroom and going to the door, opening it just as the visitor was about to knock again. “Oh my god.”

“Hi, Dawn,” Spike smiled, putting his hands in his pockets. She stared at him, her jaw slightly dropped.

“You remember my name?” she asked, a dreamy look in her eyes. He chuckled, and she snapped out of her trance before becoming defensive and crossing her arms. “What’re you doing here?”

“Is Buffy around?” he asked, trying not to sound nervous. She looked at him sternly. “Is that a no?”

“Why should I let you see her?” Dawn asked. “After you hurt her so much?”

“Because I care about her and want to make things better,” he answered sincerely. “Now can I see her?”

“If you hurt her again, Spike, I’m going to hunt you down and beat you to death with a shovel, okay?” she asked before smiling widely at him. He raised an eyebrow and nodded.

“Sounds like a deal, pet,” he replied. She turned on her heel and walked to Buffy’s bedroom, watching her sister typing on her laptop. Spike decided to follow her and stopped to stand behind her, studying how aggravated Buffy looked with whatever she was working on.

‘Maybe I shouldn’t have come here right now,’ he thought. ‘It’s best not to irritate her more than she already is.’

“Who was it?” Buffy asked, not looking up from the laptop’s screen.

“Me,” Spike answered quietly, and Buffy’s eyes instantly traveled upwards to focus on his. “Hello, luv.”

“Hi,” she said quietly, quickly closing her laptop.

“I’ve got a date with RJ in ten minutes, so I’ll see you later, Buffy,” Dawn said before looking at Spike. “And don’t forget about our arrangement, Crawford.” He watched her leave the apartment before looking at Buffy.

“When exactly did your sister get unbelievably scary?” Spike asked, leaning against the doorframe of her room.

“Should I even ask what your ‘arrangement’ is?” Buffy asked. “Plan on moving on to my sister next?”

‘Because I’m sure she’d love that,’ Buffy thought, sickened by the idea. ‘She’d love to be Miss Band-Aid 2005.’

“Is that what you want?” Spike asked, amused. “For me to date your sister?” She made a face and looked down, causing him to chuckle.

“A world of no,” she answered. “Unfortunately, she’s eighteen, so she’s not jailbait anymore, but that’s still wrong.”

“Don’t worry, Goldilocks- I’m not here for her,” he said, smiling. “I’m here for you.”

“Why?” she asked, bringing her knees up to her chin, trying to indirectly comfort herself.

‘This is only going to make writing harder, isn’t it?’ she asked herself. ‘Why do I see him at the worst possible times?’

“I wanted to see you again,” he said, slowly approaching her bed before sitting beside her on it. “I talked to Red yesterday and found out that you two talked.”

“Is that against the rules?” Buffy asked, slightly defensive. “We can’t share friends?”

“Did I say that?” he asked, raising an eyebrow and looking at her.

“No,” she mumbled, looking down. “Sorry.” He smiled slightly and noticed that she was fidgeting.

“Is that your nervous habit or something?” he asked, chuckling. “I’ve seen you do that several times now.”

“Is there something wrong with it?” she asked, looking at him. He raised his hands in surrender.

“No, just commenting on it, is all,” he replied. “I can see you’re in a foul mood- maybe I should go.”

“You came here to talk, so talk,” she said, looking at him with an unreadable expression.

“Red mentioned that you didn’t know what to write in your article, and I decided I want to help,” he said.

“You want to help?” Buffy asked in disbelief, and he nodded. “How do you propose doing that?”

“Well, I was there, wasn’t I?” he asked, smirking. “I figure I saw the same things you did, if not a hell of a lot more. I can give you more of the inside scoop.”

“I thought you didn’t want to play any part in the article?” she asked, surprised. He shrugged.

“It’s your job, isn’t it?” he asked, looking at her. “Besides, I can make sure you only include the truth.”

“Does that include everything about you?” she asked, opening her laptop.

“Figure it might as well,” he answered, shrugging. “I deserve whatever you write about me, and it’s not like most of the public doesn’t already think I’m an alcoholic bastard.”

“That could change, you know,” she replied, looking at him. “It doesn’t have to be that way.”

“And how are their opinions going to change?” he asked. “Through this article? You can’t really make me sound like a prince, Buffy, after what happened.”

“I know that,” she said quietly. “But you still can prove people wrong.” She sighed. “My opinion changed, didn’t it?”

“Yeah, but I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing yet,” he replied, looking at her.

“My point is that you don’t have to be the person that everyone thinks you are,” she said. “You’re better than that, Spike. You have the potential to be something far greater than an ‘alcoholic bastard’.”

“Is that really what you think?” he asked, tilting his head and studying her as she looked at her laptop.

“Yeah, I do,” she answered quietly before taking a deep breath. “So, as for collaborating on the article-”

“I’m just adding details,” he replied. “Not collaborating, luv. I’m making sure you state the facts. All of the facts.”

“Including the vicious truth about you?” she asked, smiling, and he nodded. “That’s career suicide, Spike.”

“And not writing this article is ‘career suicide’ for you, pet,” he replied, and she looked down. “Besides, I’ve decided to scrap the idea of becoming a solo artist. Too much bloody work.” She laughed quietly before looking at him.

“Do you think you’ll get back together with the guys?” she asked.

“I’d like to,” he answered. “But I wouldn’t be surprised if they told me to bugger off, especially Harris.”

“They’re your friends- I don’t know if they’d turn you away,” Buffy said. “I guess I wouldn’t blame them, but I don’t think they would. You were friends before the band, and I know they took it pretty hard when you quit.” He looked down, nodding. “But I’d at least throw the idea out there. What’s the worst that can happen? They reject you?” He looked at her, an eyebrow raised. “Then at least you would know it’s not an option.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he replied. “You know, you reminded me of Willow for a second.”

“Maybe her wisdom rubbed off on me,” she said, smiling, before taking a deep breath. “If I write this accurately, Spike, I doubt it’ll portray you in a good light. Can you live with the aftermath of that?”

“I deserve it, don’t I?” he asked. She looked at him.

“The jury’s still out on that one,” she answered before looking at her laptop.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, intrigued.

“It means that I don’t know exactly what you deserve anymore,” she said quietly before looking at him once again. “I think maybe you should go, Spike. I want to write this, and I have a feeling that you’ll somehow hinder what I decide to write.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” he said. “You’re the reporter, luv- write whatever you choose.” She looked at him, not caring that she was practically pleading with her eyes. “Fine, I’ll let you get to work. But if you need help, you have my number.” She nodded, and he stood up, walking to the door. “Buffy?” She looked at him. “Thanks.”

“For what?” she asked, confused.

“For giving me a chance,” he said, winking at her before walking out. She smiled softly and began typing.

‘If he thinks I’m giving him another chance…then he’s right.’

* * *

The next morning, Buffy walked into Lilah’s office, hoping that she came off as confident as she was trying to be.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite music reporter,” Lilah said, smiling at her employee. “Are you finished with your article?”

“Yes,” Buffy answered, handing a couple of sheets of paper to her editor.

“And how did you present the lead singer?” Lilah asked, skimming through the words on the paper in front of her.

“Read it to find out,” Buffy said, heading towards the door. “And be sure to read the last page- it’s a real humdinger.” Lilah raised an eyebrow as Buffy grinned and left the office.

About ten minutes later, Lilah was perplexed by what she had read.

‘Spike Crawford doesn’t sound like a jerk,’ she thought. ‘She makes him sound like a guy who made one or two wrong calls. I wanted drama and angst, but this is-’ She flipped to the last page.

Dear Lilah,

Over the last week or so, I’ve decided that I love working here, but I love my values and feelings more, and compromising both of those things isn’t something I want to do anymore, especially if it’s for my job. I realize that the article probably isn’t what you expected and/or wanted, but if I see any part of it changed, we’re going to have a little chat, and I can promise you that it won’t be of the pleasant variety. Everything I wrote is true, and I don’t want readers to have an agonizingly negative view of Spike Crawford. I’m sorry if that isn’t what you wanted to see, but that’s the article and I’m happy with it.

I’m putting in my two weeks notice as of now.
 

Chapter 17:

“I have some really interesting news,” Angel said as he put his cordless phone back on the receiver. Spike looked at him from his seat on the couch, flipping through a copy of “Young and Hip” magazine.

“And? What is it?” he asked. “Is the company who makes your hair gel going out of business? Because I can see how that’d be interesting to you.” Angel shot him a look. “Although, I don’t see how they could go bankrupt or anything- you buy a new bloody container of it every week.”

“Will you shut up already?” Angel asked, crossing his arms. “This is something that I think you really need to hear.”

“So why don’t you get on with it and tell me what’s so bleeding fascinating,” Spike said, looking at the magazine once again.

“Buffy quit her job,” Angel said, and Spike froze before looking at his manager and friend.

“She what?” he asked, shocked. “Why would she do that? Didn’t she write the article?”

“No, it seems she did,” Angel answered, sitting on a chair across from him. “But she gave Lilah her two weeks notice this afternoon, so I don’t know why she would quit.”

“But she wrote the article?” Spike asked, and Angel nodded. “Did Lilah say how it turned out?”

“She said that Buffy portrayed you as being a lovable fool,” Angel replied, noticing how Spike’s eyes lit up. “It sounds like she depicted you as making a few hasty decisions, but according to Lilah, she didn’t make you seem like a bad guy.” Spike closed the magazine he was holding and stood up. “So I guess that’s something, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Spike said, still stunned. “It’s something.” Angel smiled as his friend grabbed his car keys.

“Are you leaving?” he asked, already knowing exactly where Spike was going.

“Have to see a girl,” he answered before letting himself out of the apartment and going to his car outside.

‘If anyone made a stupid decision, it was her,’ he thought, getting into his car and speeding off.

* * *

When Buffy heard a knock on her door a couple of hours after packing up her office at the magazine, she didn’t know what to expect.

‘Maybe Lilah’s going to have me killed off,’ she thought, laughing to herself at such an asinine idea. ‘Or maybe she’s here to plead with me to take my job back.’ She smiled. ‘Now that’d be the day hell froze over. Lilah Morgan wouldn’t ever plead with an employee.’

As she opened the door, she felt a chill run through her as she saw Spike standing there, an icy look in his eyes.

“Hi,” she said quietly, and he walked inside her apartment, moving right past her. “Yes, please do come in. I don’t mind a bit.”

“Good,” he replied, crossing his arms. She raised an eyebrow as she closed the door, thoroughly confused by how he was acting.

‘What the hell did I do now?’ she thought.

“So, what brings you to my humble abode?” she asked, leaning back against her door.

“You quit your job,” he said sternly, and she tilted her head.

“Wow, news sure travels fast,” she replied. “How did you find out?”

“Lilah is Angel’s cousin, remember?” he asked, looking at her. She sighed and looked away.

“So, what? I can’t quit my job?” she asked, focusing on her coffeemaker.

“Why would you do something like that?” he asked. “I thought you loved it there.” She looked at him.

“I did,” she said. “But other things got in the way, and I was sick of playing by Lilah’s rules.”

“Did you quit because of me?” he asked, and she stared at him, quirking an eyebrow.

“Why would you think that?” she asked. “Are you really that full of yourself that you think I’d do something like this because of you?”

“Don’t be a bitch, Summers,” he replied sharply. “Just answer the bloody question.”

“I didn’t quit my job because of you,” she answered. “I quit because I constantly had to do things that I didn’t want to do or write things that compromised my values and beliefs.”

“Like the article about the band?” he asked, and she looked down, hesitantly nodding. “So it did have something to do with me.” She took a deep breath.

“The article was just a catalyst for me deciding to quit,” she said. “But when it boils down to it, you were about 5% of the reason, so I’m just going to stick by the fact that me leaving the magazine didn’t involve you.” He smiled slightly.

“Do you enjoy being stubborn or something?” he asked, and she looked at him, noticing the smile that was forming on his lips, causing her to smile, too. “Or is it that you just like being a pain in my ass?”

“A little of both, actually,” she replied. “So that’s why you came here? To criticize me for quitting?”

“Nope, there’s more,” he said. “I thought you told me that you needed that job. That the money you were earning was necessary to help Dawn out and to keep you two afloat financially.”

“It was,” she answered, shrugging. “But if you think I quit without having a back-up plan, you’re wrong, buck-o.”

“So what are you going to do instead?” he asked curiously. “Flip burgers at Doublemeat Palace?”

“You’d love that, wouldn’t you?” she asked, laughing. “Would make you feel all superior.”

“Not a chance, luv,” he replied. “I’d just pay off all of your bills for you.” She shook her head, still smiling.

“I was offered a position on the staff of The Sunnydale Times,” she said. “I’ll still be a music reporter, but now I get to cover new movies, too.”

“Sounds like it’s right up your alley, then,” he said, smiling, and she nodded.

“And now I can go see movies every weekend and right them off as being for work,” she said, grinning. “You wouldn’t believe how excited Dawn was to hear that.”

“But isn’t your salary going to be a lot lower?” he asked casually. “A lot lower?”

“By about two dollars an hour, yeah,” she answered. “It could really be worse. I’d take an even more drastic pay-cut so as to not have to deal with Lilah daily.”

“If she’s anything like Peaches, I don’t blame you,” he said, chuckling.

“Hey, Angel really is a peach compared to Lilah,” she replied, smirking. “She’s the devil, I swear.”

“Angel has his evil side, too, you know,” he said. “Maybe it’s in their genes or something.” She giggled and looked down. “Lilah told Angel that you didn’t make me sound like a jerk in your article.” She nodded, not willing to look at him. “Why not?”

“Because when push came to shove, you didn’t deserve it,” she answered. “You realize you messed up and have apologized to all of us. I don’t really see why I should punish you more for something that you obviously regret doing.” He smiled softly. “Besides, I don’t want the whole town to hate you.”

“Just you, right?” he asked, and she looked at him, confused. “You’re the only one who’s supposed to hate me, yeah?”

“And Dawnie,” she answered, smiling. “Don’t forget her and that ‘arrangement’ you two have.”

“Did she tell you about that?” he asked, chuckling, and she nodded.

“I’d believe her,” she said. “She’s a hair-puller, too, just to warn you.” He smiled and looked down, putting his hands in his pockets.

“So, what happens from here?” he asked. “Are we still going to talk?”

“I don’t know- are we?” she asked, looking at him. He took a deep breath before focusing his eyes on hers.

“I want to,” he said. “I mean, I know what happened before between us didn’t exactly go well, but I’m a good man, Buffy, and I’d like the chance to prove it to you.”

“Okay,” she said nonchalantly, shrugging. He raised an eyebrow.

“‘Okay’?” he asked, surprised by her demeanor. “That’s your answer?” She grinned.

“Yes, Spike, I’ll give you another chance,” she answered. “But on one condition.” He smirked.

“And what’s that, pet?” he asked, approaching her and wrapping his arms around her, looking down into her eyes.

“You’ll let me interview you,” she said, smiling.

“Why? The article is done, isn’t it?” he asked, confused.

“So what? You owe me an interview, at least,” she said. He took a deep breath and nodded.

“Fine, I’ll let you bloody interview me,” he replied. “But you won’t publish your findings anywhere, will you?”

“Only if you make me mad, I will,” she answered, winking at him, causing him to laugh.

“Then it looks like it’ll just stay between us then, won’t it?” he asked, looking into her eyes.

“Yes, I guess it does,” she said before leaning up and kissing him.
***************************************************************************

 

Chapter 18:

As Buffy laid beside Spike in her bed one week later, she looked at the look of contentment on his features and smiled, noticing how hard he was still breathing after one of their daily coupling sessions.

“Can I interview you now?” she asked quietly, dancing her fingertips lightly over his torso.

“Do anything you want to,” he answered, looking at her with a smirk. “But if you’re going to interview me, could you make it a little kinky or something? I haven’t quite had my fill yet of you.” She giggled and kissed him before pulling the sheets up to her chest, covering herself. “Come on, luv, I’ve already seen all of your goods. I think I have almost every inch of your skin memorized by now.”

“Probably,” she replied, smiling. “But I have a feeling you won’t be able to concentrate on what I’m asking you if I’m not covered. You’ll be too busy ogling me.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he said, chuckling. “What do you want to know? Am I going to have to explain my life story to you?”

“No,” she answered, looking at him. “Well, probably not. I don’t really know yet.”

“You haven’t prepared your questions for me?” he asked jokingly. “I’m shocked and appalled, pet. I’m surprised you don’t have a list of all of your potential inquiries lying about.” She gave him a playful glare before resting her head on his chest. “So, what’s question one, Goldilocks?” She took a deep breath. “If you’re afraid to ask why I’m so bloody gorgeous, don’t be- I’ll answer in a heartbeat.” She slapped his abs and giggled.

“No, that’s not a question,” she said, and he looked at her.

“I thought you didn’t know what you were going to ask me?”

“I never said that,” she answered, grinning. “I just didn’t know if I’d ask about your early years.”

“It’s probably better if you don’t,” he said, closing his eyes. “I was a ponce when I was younger.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” she replied, looking at him. “How could bad-ass Spike be a ‘ponce’?” She paused. “What’s a ‘ponce’?” He looked at her and chuckled, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close to him.

“I was a loser back then, kitten,” he said quietly. “You would’ve hated me.”

“What makes you think that?” she asked, an eyebrow raised.

“You were a cheerleader, I was a nerd- not from the same caste system,” he explained. “Why do you think I’m the man I am today?”

“Because you’re overcompensating for the dork within,” she said, laughing, and he began to tickle her. “Don’t you dare!” She began to tickle him back and laughed hysterically when he shrieked like a girl. “Aha! There’s the effeminate William.” He shot her a look. “Sorry. Tell me more about how you used to be.”

“I wrote poetry,” he said, shrugging, and she looked at him, stunned. “What? It led to my passion for writing lyrics. There’s no shame in writing poems, is there?”

“What did you write about?” she asked curiously. “The sky, the grass, water-”

“I wrote about a woman,” he cut in. “My nanny Cecily.” She stared at him.

“Wait, stop there for a second,” she said, sitting up, pulling the sheets up with her. “I don’t know what’s more disturbing- you writing poetry or you writing about your nanny.” She frowned. “You had a nanny?”

“My parents have a lot of money,” he replied defensively. “It was a common thing when I was growing up.”

“Did you…love her?” she asked hesitantly, and he nodded, looking away. “You loved your nanny?”

“She was a beautiful woman,” he said, crossing his arms. “Can you blame me?”

“You loved a woman who helped raise you,” she replied. “Wasn’t she like a mother to you?”

“Yes, but-” he began, stopping when he saw the disgusted look on her face. “Cecily worked for my family until I was seven. After that, I saw her every once and a while. Obviously, that’s when I began to love her.”

“After she was no longer your nanny?” Buffy asked, clarifying. He nodded. “I guess that’s a little bit better, then.” She looked at him. “Key words there- a little bit.” He smiled. “Okay, so now that we’ve found out William adored his sexy nanny, what else is there to know about him?”

“Not too much,” he answered, shrugging. “He met Drusilla in high school and fell in love.”

“Was that when he transformed into Spike?” she asked, and he nodded. “Okay, so what happened after that with you and Dru?”

“Well, she convinced me to change myself,” he began to explain. “I traded in the dorky look for the present-day one.”

“The one I’ve affectionately deemed as the ‘Billy Idol’?” she asked, laughing. He smirked.

“Yes, that very one,” he said. “She changed me completely. I became more of a rebel after her and I met. I stayed out all night, slept during the day, and did some pretty stupid stuff.” He sighed. “But things were right with us. There was never a day I questioned if I should be with her.”

“What happened after that?” she asked, noticing the hurt look in his eyes.

“We were together for a while and decided we wanted a new scene,” he said. “So we moved here. I met the guys and we formed the band. It wasn’t too long after that when I found out Dru was cheating on me.” She looked at him sadly. “I was too preoccupied with trying to get the band going that I wasn’t around, and I guess I really neglected her.”

“Even if that’s true, that’s not a justifiable reason for her cheating on you,” she said quietly. “If she loved you, she wouldn’t have.” He ran his hand over Buffy’s hair and sighed. “I would never cheat on you.”

“And I wouldn’t ever cheat on you,” he whispered. “But back to the story…we broke up and I continued to live my life, even though I was heart-broken for a very long time.” He smiled. “And then things really perked up for me when a hot blonde fireball walked into a club one night.” She grinned and looked at him. “And it’s been a roller-coaster ever since.”

“But the ride isn’t close to being over, is it?” she asked, taking his hand in hers and lacing their fingers together.

“Not even close, pet,” he affirmed, pulling her back down to lie beside him. “Unless you want it to be over?”

“If I could survive the twists, bends, and steep drops, I think I can handle more,” she said.

“That’s my girl,” he replied, kissing her softly.
***************************************************************************




Chapter 19:

Six Months Later




“Buffy, we need to go,” Dawn said loudly, waiting in the kitchen of their apartment and tapping her foot impatiently on the ground. “The concert starts in ten minutes!”

“Hold your horses,” Buffy replied, quickly walking into the kitchen as she slid on her black heels. “Do I look okay?”

“You could be wearing a potato sack and still manage to look good,” Dawn said, grabbing Buffy’s car keys for her. “And Spike adores you no matter what, so there’s no point in outdoing yourself to look gorgeous.”

“Is my sister actually paying me a compliment or two?” Buffy asked jokingly, taking her keys and kissing Dawn’s cheek. “Come on, Spike gets testy when I’m late.”

“You’ll just blame it on me, anyways,” Dawn said as they left the apartment. “He’ll forgive you in no time.” Buffy smiled and got in the elevator, standing beside her sister. “It didn’t really take you three hours to get ready, did it?”

“I was working on that article for the paper about Dingoes Ate My Baby getting back together,” Buffy answered. “None of my drafts sounded right, but I think I might have come up with a winner.”

“All of your articles are good, Buffy,” Dawn said. “Besides, does it really matter if it sucks or not? You and Spike are still moving in together in a couple of weeks.” She smiled and leaned back against the wall of the elevator. “And I get to experience dorm-life. Things just don’t get better than that.”

“Yeah, you’ll be saying that when you fail your classes and come over on the weekends to wash your clothes because you hate the fact that someone steals some of your clothes out of the dryer,” Buffy replied, and Dawn raised an eyebrow. “Trust me, I know how these things go. You’ll be singing a new tune after a couple of weeks.”

“Then can I move in with you and Spike?” she asked, and Buffy shook her head vigorously. “Yeah, it’s probably for the best. I don’t want to walk in on any sex-capades.”

“Dawn!” Buffy said loudly, shooting a look at her sister. “Can we not talk about this? I know it happened once last month, but haven’t I apologized enough?”

“I was scarred for life,” Dawn said, giggling. “Well, not by seeing Spike naked because, let’s face it, he has the body of a god. You’re one lucky girl.”

“I am, aren’t I?” Buffy replied, laughing. “We should hurry- I can’t be late tonight. Spike said he wants to see me before he goes onstage.”

* * *

When Spike saw Buffy walk into the club, looking as beautiful as usual, he felt his nervousness kick in again, his hands slightly shaking.

‘Why is this so terrifying?’ he asked himself, ordering a beer. ‘It shouldn’t be…maybe this is a bad idea.’

“Hey, gorgeous,” Buffy said, greeting Spike with a hug and kissing him softly. “How’re you?”

“Petrified, actually,” he answered, taking a deep breath before getting down on one knee in front of her. Buffy stared at him in shock, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as tears began to form. Dawn looked at Spike and started crying.

‘Oh my god,’ she thought. ‘This is really happening. My sister’s going to get married…to a rock-star!’

“Please don’t cry, luv, because I’m really trying hard not to, myself,” Spike said quietly, looking up at Buffy.

“Sorry,” she replied quickly, wiping off the corner of her eyes. He took both of her hands in his and took another deep breath, hoping to calm his nerves a little. “What’re you doing?”

“What do you think, princess?” he asked, laughing nervously.

“Will you stop procrastinating and ask the question already?” Dawn asked, wiping off her cheeks.

“Well, if you’ll wait a bloody minute, maybe I’ll have a chance to,” Spike said, smiling sheepishly at her before looking up at Buffy once again. “I know that we haven’t been together that long, and things really sucked in the beginning, but I love you, and there’s nothing I’d like more than to spend the rest of my life with you.” She began tearing up again. “Will you honor me with the privilege of calling you my wife someday?”

“Spike-” she answered, and his heart instantly sank. “Are you kidding?” He looked down, biting back the tears that were threatening to spill over. “I don’t think marrying me is a privilege, but if you think it is, then I guess I can honor you with it.” His eyes widened as he stood up and embraced her tightly, crying into her shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he said, looking at her and grazing her cheek. “So bloody much.”

“Not to ruin the mood, but where’s the ring?” Dawn asked, looking at Spike. He grinned and pulled a black velvet box out of his pocket.

“Wanted to hear her say yes before showing it to her,” he said, opening the box and revealing a platinum ring with a large square diamond in the center with smaller diamonds surrounding it.

“It’s beautiful,” Buffy said, looking at it before looking at her fiancé. “Will you put it on for me?”

“Haven’t you noticed how badly my hands are shaking?” he asked, chuckling. “I might drop it.”

“You better not!” she replied, trying to take the box from him, but he intercepted her.

“No, I want to do this,” he said, extracting the ring from the box and sliding it onto her left hand’s ring finger. She looked at her engagement ring and noticed how the lights above her were making it sparkle.

“Spike, it’s perfect,” she said quietly before leaning up and kissing him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Yeah, Spike, nice choice,” Dawn said. “Welcome to the family.” He smiled and hugged her. “But I still stand by what I said that day about you hurting her.” He chuckled.

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget it,” he said before looking at Buffy. “I have to get onstage, but before I go, one last kiss.” She smiled as his lips brushed against hers. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, William,” she said. “Are you ever going to show me your poems?” He raised an eyebrow. “I know you’ve written some about me. When can I see them?”

“Never,” he replied, kissing her cheek. “I’ll see you from the stage.” She nodded and watched as he walked into the backstage area. Willow and Anya were sitting at the bar, talking and grinning when Buffy and Dawn walked over to them.

“So? Did you say yes?” Willow asked excitedly, and Buffy nodded giddily, showing them her ring. “Wow, Spike made a really nice choice.” Willow looked at her. “Can you believe that all three of us are engaged?”

“Seems surreal,” Anya said, ordering another drink. “We should have a triple wedding.”

“I have a feeling the guys wouldn’t go for that,” Willow said, shrugging. “Speaking of which…” All of the girls turned to face the stage as the band walked out, the audience clapping and cheering. Buffy grinned at Spike when he walked up to the microphone and winked at her.

“First, I want to thank everyone for coming here tonight and supporting the band,” he said, the crowd applauding once again. “It means a lot that people stuck with us through a hard time.” He looked at his band-mates and smiled before looking at his fiancé again. “And second, I want to thank my love for staying by my side and not giving up on me, even though I was a right bastard to you.” She laughed, looking at him lovingly. “And I’m proud to announce tonight that we’re engaged.” The bar erupted into deafening cheering, and Buffy grinned when Dawn hugged her, both girls giggling. “This show’s for you, luv.”

“I love you,” she mouthed at him, and he smirked at her.

“I love you, too,” he said, forgetting for that moment that he was in front of the crowd and that everyone could hear him.

‘But then again, it doesn’t matter,’ he thought. ‘I’d shout it out from the bloody rooftops if she wanted me to.’

Buffy watched him adoringly before taking a deep breath and looking at her ring.

‘I’m getting married to him,’ she thought before looking at him. ‘Well, whoever said you can’t mix business and pleasure was a fool. At least we’re not on the tour-bus anymore.’ She paused and giggled. ‘Although I wouldn’t mind repeating Vegas again.’


THE END
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