Chapter 1: Switched

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Spike, the big bad of Sunnydale, recently chipped and considerably bitter about it, walked down some obscure residential street in hopes of getting his mind off the terrible predicament he was in. He was bored.

Not being able to hurt the thousands of happy meals on legs that scurried around this town definitely had its draw backs. Sure he would pick a fight with demons, but that was getting him into more trouble that it was worth.

Absently he kicked at something shiny and metal on the road. It didn’t clatter like a can. On closer inspection it didn’t look like a can either. Spike stooped down to pick up the object that had piqued his curiosity. Holding it in his hand he could feel the resonance of magic within the object.

Gotta get this to the Watcher came his first thought. Bloody Hell! When did he turn into such a raging do-gooder?

He was about to throw the offending object into the window of a nearby house, when he heard the rush of someone running past him, heartbeat rapid and the brief scent of fear and power.

The glimpse of blond hair and that smell that was ‘Slayer’ to his senses shocked the hell out of him. He never smelled fear on the Slayer.

In a flash he took off after her.
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He arrived at the Summers’ house in time to see the Slayer burst into the house by way of a second story window. There were sounds of fighting coming from the house. Glorious sounds he thought, perhaps the uptight bitch was getting the stuffing beat out of her.

No, probably not.

Spike couldn’t help himself. He needed to have a better view of just what was going on. He strolled up to the dining room window to see the Slayer standing off against some brunette chick.

“Thought I'd go after the clean marine, didn't ya? He's a cutie. Looks like he can use a good roll in the sack,” said the chick with a huge grin on her face.

That one’s trying to get the Slayer pissed off, he thought.

The Slayer launched herself at the chick, only to be blocked. Spike was really getting into it, ducking along with the Slayer as she ducked a right hook from the other bint.

“You're not his type. He's not real big on sleaze,” responded the Slayer.

Good comeback, he thought, chuckling. Even if it was to defend Captain Cardboard.

Spike watched with wide eyes as the Slayer punched the brunette chick several times before the skank got the upper hand and caught the Slayer’s arm, slamming the blonde into the dining room wall.

“He's probably just never tried it,” noted the skank.

“Going for the boyfriend again? That's tired.”

“Just something to remember me by once I've moved on.”

Spike let the movement in front of his blur and contemplated this new tidbit of information. This chick has a habit of going after the Slayer’s boy toys? Spike chuckled a little more to himself. The chick fight was beginning to have an...interesting effect on the lower regions of his body.

“Did it ever occur to you Faith that the reason we all forgot you is because we wanted to?” said the Slayer.

The way she moved, the way she parried each thrust and each barb thrown her way. She was magnificent. Uh...In a purely predator/prey kinda way, Spike was quick to dismiss the thought as his attention was caught by the flying silverware in the dining room before him.

It was times like this that he really regretted being saddled with the chip. He was itching to jump in there. Spike pressed closer to the window. This fight between the Slayer and...his vampire senses reached out...Holy buggering Hell! Another slayer! And probably a Slayer that Miss High and Mighty wouldn’t mind me snacking on. Damn chip.

Spike’s attention was caught by the approach of sirens. He rolled his eyes, knowing full well that he should leave. The cops wouldn’t appreciate a peeping tom on this little scene.

“The cops,” noted the other Slayer.

Spike watched as she scrambled over the top of the dining room table and ran for the living room. Instantly Spike sprang into action and grabbed the handle of the Summers’ front door, opening it sharply as the other Slayer passed it, knocking her to the ground and sending Spike onto the floor with a massive headache.

“Spike!“ yelled Buffy.

Spike clutched his head in pain. “Bloody buggering hell! You stupid bints gotta warn a bloke when you’re standing that close to the door.”

Buffy put her hands on her hips, looking between the knocked out form of Faith and the sprawled figure of the vamp who just saved her from destroying her entire house.

The two conscious forms at the bottom of the stairs looked up as they heard the frantic feet of Joyce coming down to meet them.

“You okay?” she immediately asked Buffy putting a hand to her cheek.

Buffy looked down at Faith. “Ya, Spike decided to break and enter just at the right moment. Faith met door.”

“I called the police,” said Joyce indicating the flashing lights and sirens that were approaching the house.

“She's their problem now.”

“You're sure you're okay?” asked Joyce again.

Buffy smiled up at her mom and nodded. “Except for the large queasy feeling I’m getting from Spike saving the day...Ya, I’m good mom.”

Joyce’s face lit up into a big smile. “Hot Chocolate Spike?” she offered, holding out her hand to help the vampire up.
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“So exactly why are you here?” Buffy asked Spike once her mother had gone to bed, their mugs of hot chocolate sat dirty on the island of the kitchen. The police had taken statements from the three conscious beings and carted Faith away. She hated to admit it but the past couple of hours chatting with him and her mom were kinda not terrible.

“Told you, got a magic doodad for your watcher, thought you’d want to take a look at it,” he told her, like she was stupid for not remembering. “Found it on the road. Maybe that Faith bint dropped it?”

“Hand it over,” she ordered.

Spike glared at her a moment before standing up and digging into his pocket, pulling the metal gizmo out and holding it out to her.

Buffy reached out and grabbed the item, brushing her fingers against his palm.

Buffy fought against the sudden dizziness and put a hand to her head. “What the hell?” she muttered.

The metal thingy crashed to the ground unnoticed as they pulled away from each other; both more concerned with the fact that everything looked really odd and the nauseous feeling in their stomachs that wasn’t going away.

Buffy heard a crunch of metal and looked up to see her mom in the kitchen, stepping on the remains of the metal magic thing that made her feel this way.

“Goodness, Buffy! You look terrible! Are you coming down with something?” came her mother’s voice.

Buffy looked up to see her mom getting a glass of water, the queasy feeling did not subside.

“Upstairs young lady, you aren’t going back to the dorm in that condition,” ordered Joyce, pointing up the stairs.

Buffy nodded.

“See, even Spike agrees with me.”

Spike. Buffy forced her eyes shut, willing the room to stop spinning. When she opened them again there was no one in the kitchen. No Spike, no mom. Huh.

Keeping her eyes locked on her target, Buffy grabbed hold of the banister and forced herself to her room. She didn’t bother changing; she didn’t bother getting under the covers. Buffy collapsed on her bed, hoping that sleep would make her tummy not feel so wonky.
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Morning crept through the curtains in the Slayer’s room. Yes, he was in the Slayer’s room. Forceful as Joyce was last night, pushing him up here, what with his stomach not wanting to be vertical, he complied.

But morning was an issue, and the Slayer’s curtains weren’t going to keep him from burning to ash on her girly bed. With much effort, but a stronger sense of preservation, Spike lifted himself off the bed to close the curtains tightly, taking with him a blanket to throw over the curtain rod for extra protection.

His task accomplished, Spike headed back to the soft cushioning of the Slayer’s bed, eager to make the pounding in his head subside. He tumbled back on to the bed, facing towards the middle of the bed, and reached for a pillow.

There was a groan from the other side of the bed.

Spike’s eyes shot open at the thought that someone else was in the bed with him. Well it was the Slayer’s bed, maybe she was there too. He had to admit that he wasn’t feeling so hot the night before; getting in bed with the Slayer, of all people, could have passed unnoticed to his vamp senses.

Not inches from his face was...his face. Spike closed his eyes hoping that his brain was playing some sort of horrible joke on him and willed his dead lungs to breathe deeply. It was his first actual conscious thought of the day.

Spike opened his eyes again, hoping to be faced with the sleeping face of the Slayer (because that was infinitely better than seeing one’s own face).

‘Cause that’s what he saw.

“Bloody buggering hell!” shrieked Spike as he bolted up off the bed.

There he was lying on the Slayer’s bed. But wasn’t he also standing right here?

“What the bleedin’ hell is going on?” he said into the quiet of the room.

That was when he noticed that his voice wasn’t quite right; he sounded girly. He sounded like the Slayer if she decided to do a proper English accent.

He looked down at himself, his arms spread at his sides.

Oh bollocks he thought, I’m wearing the Slayer’s body!
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Chapter 2: Confusing Limbs

Buffy registered the shriek in her sleep muddled mind. Mom must be watching TV while she cleans, thought the Slayer.

Her body craved sleep. The fight last night had taken some of the energy out of her and she just wanted a few more minutes in the land of nod before going back to her dorm room.

Which so wasn’t happening with the person who was shaking her arm.

This posed some questions. Namely, who the hell was in her room shaking her arm?

Buffy groaned and rolled over hoping whoever it was would just leave her alone.

No such luck though, as the pushing and shoving was accompanied by the tones of a British girl.

“Wake the bloody hell up Slayer, fix this!” came the girl’s voice.

Buffy moaned again, and peeked an eye open. Her eyes went wide as she saw what could only be described as her identical evil twin was staring at her.

“Um, from the vampy Willow dimension?” Buffy asked sitting up on her bed. There was something wrong though, that wasn’t her voice, was it?

Buffy looked down at her body for a moment, her eyes meeting all black clothing and a leather duster.

“Holy crap,” she muttered.
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“You have so got to be kidding me!” the Slayer exclaimed as she paced the living room, her mother and Spike in her body sitting on the couch watching her activity.

“Will you sit down!” said the exasperated vampire stuck in the Slayer’s body.

Buffy whipped Spike’s head around to face the creature inhabiting her body. She opened his mouth in preparation to slam him down, tell him he was being unreasonable, blame him for their current predicament, but suddenly looking at her face, her green eyes gazing back with concern, she couldn’t do it.

With a huff, Buffy sat down on the empty side of the couch, her mother providing a barrier to the two adversaries. Joyce tentatively put her hands on the backs of the two individuals that sat on her couch, not really understanding the story that they had babbled at her this morning.

“How did this happen?” Buffy whined, the very male voice that came from her throat a mockery of the tone. “I can remember feeling weird after you handed me that doodad last night,” she continued.

Spike looked across at the Slayer and nodded. “Sounds about right, Slayer. Damned if I know what that bit of metal was though, found it on the street.”

“It’s gone now, whatever it is, it’s not in the kitchen,” whined Buffy.

“Wouldn’t it be best if you were to call Mr Giles, find out if he can help you?” asked Joyce with little concern in her voice.

Joyce was finding the scene slightly comical, and perhaps a good tool for Buffy to finally see that Spike wasn’t the horrible demon and evil villain that she thought he was, and he wished himself to be.

“Get the Watcher over here then, fix us right up,” agreed Spike.

“He’s not home,” muttered Buffy as she slumped her head into her hands.

“Bleedin’ hell!” exclaimed Spike, his newly acquired voice reaching new pitches that just shouldn’t be coming out of his mouth. “I’m not bloody staying in your girly body Slayer!”

Buffy stood up, her hands on her hips. “You think I like being in your body, with an appendage that thinks for itself? God! You aren’t the only one that’s unhappy with the accommodations.”

Spike cast a glance at the appendage in question. Yep, Spike junior was making his presence known.

Joyce exhaled suddenly, catching the two adversaries off guard. “I think that it would be a good idea for you to stay here Spike, until this whole thing is sorted out.”

Buffy nodded in agreement. “That way I can keep an eye on you in my body. I don’t want to end up with revenge from Spike and find you’ve gotten me tattooed or pierced when I have my back turned.” She turned to face him, dismayed at the smirk that was passing across her own face, as if hundreds of dirty perverted thoughts were dancing through that head.

Stepping closer to the vampire trapped in her body she raised a black nail polished finger and poked him hard in the shoulder.

“You even think of doing anything remotely gross, perverted or just plain icky in my body and I will personally see to it that when we are returned to our own bodies your manly bits will be cut off and left to fry in the morning sun. Got me bleach boy?”

“Buffy!” exclaimed a shocked Joyce.

Spike sighed, and clapped his hands down on his newly acquired thighs and rose from the couch. “Clearly I’m not wanted here. Thank you Joyce for your hospitality, but alas I cannot stay. Pressing vampire business and all that,” he said haughtily.

“Oh no, you don’t. Didn’t you hear me earlier when I said I wanted to keep an eye on you?” said Buffy furiously in his way.

“I did, but it lacked that Slayer conviction I loathe and detest,” he added.

“Mom!” Buffy turned around and whined at her mother.

“Buffy! Enough!” shouted her mother exasperated. “I think maybe you both need to calm down and think about this rationally. Just because you aren’t in your own bodies doesn’t mean that you can’t act civilly to each other. How about I make you two some breakfast, and Buffy why don’t you try calling Giles again?”

Buffy slumped in defeat, the blue eyes of her borrowed body looking down at the scuffed doc martins that adorned her feet.

“Yes, mom,” she muttered. “But then I’m totally having a shower and changing into something less....punk and vintage. God! The seventies are over Spike!”

“And just what are you going to change into Slayer?” Spike asked. “Got a stash of clothes my size hidden around here do you?”

Buffy’s eyes went wide. Actually... she thought. A smirk passed over the face she was borrowing. Without another word, Buffy turned, Spike’s leather coat floating up behind her, and headed into the kitchen for the phone.

Spike stared dumbfounded at the Slayer in his body, using his patented smirk against him. And she called him evil.

Joyce patted Spike’s knee and smiled. “If you want to use the shower in my room go ahead,” she offered. “I’m sure Buffy will be more than happy to see her body clean and in new clothes.”

“Looked a bit slept in do I?” asked Spike, as he fingered the long blonde locks that swayed as he talked. It was damn distracting.

“Just a bit,” Joyce chuckled. “Don’t worry Spike, things will sort themselves out.” Joyce stood up from the couch and walked into the kitchen, where her daughter was being sarcastic into the phone.

“Cause I care oh so very much that Faith’s going to jail Giles. She’s a murderer, she deserves to go there.”

Joyce couldn’t believe that her daughter had so little compassion left in her. Yes Faith was a criminal, but, Joyce thought, she was also a girl who had lost her way, and she needed love. Joyce smiled and shook her head. It was odd how only a half a day past she was held hostage by the girl in question, and now she was lamenting the fact that she was going to be sent to jail.

Joyce set out the makings for an omelette as Buffy finished up her phone call with Giles. She contemplated exactly what she was going to serve to Buffy now that she was in a vampire’s body. Yes, Spike regularly ate real food, but he needed blood. She’d have to go to the Butcher’s. Carefully, Joyce placed the items for the omelette back into the fridge and pulled her purse out from behind the back door.

“Buffy?” Joyce asked her daughter who was hanging up the phone in a huff. “I’m going out for a bit, got to pick up a few things.”

Buffy nodded for a moment registering her mother’s words. All at once, a shocked gasp left her lips.

“You are just leaving him here with me?” asked Buffy aghast.

“Nothing is going to happen Buffy. I’ll be gone for half an hour, tops. You’ll be fine.”

Joyce watched as a pout formed over her daughter’s newly acquired face. The image of Spike pouting was priceless. Joyce passed Buffy on her way out of the kitchen, placing a peck on her chiselled cheek.

The door to 1630 Revello drive closed behind her mother bringing Buffy to the startling realisation that she was indeed left with Spike in her house. Buffy scanned the living room. Where is that vampire menace? she asked herself.

Buffy’s eyes turned to the ceiling as she heard the familiar sound of the shower turning on. The shower! With unaccustomed vampire speed, Buffy rushed up the stairs, threw back the door to the bathroom and ripped open the shower curtain.

Spike looked like he had been caught in the headlights, one hand on a breast, one clinging to the smooth belly that he had been lathering up.

“You are taking a shower in my body?” she yelled, uncaring that the water was still streaming down on the blond in the tub, and now was forming puddles on the floor.

“How can I put this into language you can understand Slayer?” snarked back Spike, hands dropping from their previous position and find pose on hips in an indignant posture. “Duh!”

“I thought I told you nothing perverted?” she spat back.

“And just what was I doing that was perverted? Getting your girly body all clean aren’t I?”

“You were feeling me up!”

Spike smiled at that comment. “Guess I was at that,” he chuckled. His laughter lasted until his noticed his own eyes darkening in anger. “Look, it’s required to get you clean isn’t it? Wasn’t doing it on purpose.”

“And what was wrong with staying dry and fully clothed?” asked Buffy.

Spike’s eye brow rose with a question. “’Cause staying like that was gross Slayer, you smelled.”

Buffy gasped. “I did not!”

Spike sent her a knowing look.

“Ok,” she conceded. “Maybe I did. You...Gah! I don’t trust you to not do anything icky.”

“Why don’t you get your hot bod in here and you can make sure I keep my hands to myself,” he offered.

Buffy tilted her head to the side pondering his proposal. It had a certain kind of logic to it. And she needed to have a shower too.

“In or out Slayer, water’s accumulating.”

Without another word, the hands that Buffy controlled began to disrobe the muscular body she was inhabiting. Buffy placed Spike’s duster on top of the closed toilet, followed by the tight black tee. With some difficulty Buffy removed the Doc Martins and black socks.

The final article of clothing of clothing posed a bit of a problem for Buffy. She stared down at the waist band of the black jeans. She could feel the fact that Spike did not wear underwear, and she was trying to be modest in light of the situation.

Buffy looked up and met Spike’s green eyes.

“I...I can’t,” she whimpered. “I...I have a boyfriend...it’s...”

“Oh bloody hell,” Spike muttered, as he stepped out of the tub and stalked, dripping towards his body. With a tug the button holding his jeans up was undone, and the zipper, unzipped. Spike grabbed the waist band of his jeans and yanked the pants down, ending up squatting on the floor by his feet.

Cautiously Buffy stepped out of the pants, her eyes staring straight ahead, forcing herself not to look down.

Spike looked up from his position on the floor; his view of his own face blocked by the hard on that Buffy was sporting. Standing up he brushed his hand against his cock, which twitched at the contact.

“Looks like you’ve got yourself a bit of a problem there Slayer,” he smirked.

Buffy met his eyes, still refusing to look down. “It’s been like that since I woke up,” she whined.

“Missed my morning wank is all.”

With a smile, Spike took her hand and led her into the shower, the warm cascade of water coating both their bodies. He turned her hand palm up and squirted some fruity smelling body wash into it.

Instinctively Buffy knew exactly what he was expecting. Buffy lathered up the body wash and started rubbing the soapy suds over her body. It was a surreal feeling, washing oneself when one was in another body, and there was something erotic about seeing Spike’s fingers caressing her body. Buffy groaned unexpectedly as the tension that had been settling in her groin increased. She needed friction. What she needed was to get rid of Spike’s erection.

“Are you going to do anything about this?” Buffy asked pointing to Spike’s hard cock.

Spike raised an eyebrow at the Slayer.

“It’s your body Spike; I’m not touching it, not with a ten foot pole.”

“That would be the pole up your ass then Slayer?” he muttered, earning him an indignant glare.

The glare didn’t last long though, her attention brought back to the throbbing cock that was attached to her.

“Please Spike?” she asked.

Spike looked down at his hard cock and felt Buffy’s body respond to the sight. He suppressed his own whimper as he reached for his hard prick.

Buffy gasped as she felt fingers grasping Spike’s cock. It felt good. It felt really good. With trepidation, Buffy dared to glance downwards to where the sensations of pleasure were coming from. Her mouth opened as she took in possibly the most erotic sight she had seen in quite some time. Yes that even included the last couple of times you did it with Riley, she had to admit to herself.

Spike was large; larger than Riley, larger than Angel and a lot larger than Parker. Briefly she wondered what it would feel like to have that thrust up her core.

She gasped again as she felt a thumb brush over the head of Spike’s cock, smearing the precum across the slit. Spike was nimbly using her hands on his cock, touching just the right spots to bring himself off. His eyes were closed in concentration.

It was habit. When he wanked off he regularly thought of the lithe body he was inhabiting. Now, jerking off his body when he wasn’t in it...old habits die hard.

Spike rubbed Buffy’s thighs together to try and give himself some relief from the same tension that he was trying to help her with. He wanted nothing more than to let Buffy’s little hands explore her pussy. He just knew that if he tried something like that, he was going to get punched in the nose for his troubles.

With a gasp Buffy shot, coating her hands with Spike’s cum and part of her tummy too.

“Thanks,” she said softly, reaching for the body wash once more and washing the cum off of her body.

Desperately she wanted to reconcile exactly what happen in her brain. They were operating under a kind of logic, really. This is Spike’s body, he just did what he normally does to his body she thought to herself as she refused to meet his eyes.

But damn, it felt good, she concluded before chastising herself for thinking about Spike’s/her orgasm, brought about by her hands.

My hands touched Spike’s...gahh!

Her indignation faded away as Spike settled his body under the spray and began rinsing his hair. Resisting a moan as her little hands feathered over Spike‘s hard body, Buffy decided that this was not the place for inner monologue turmoil.

She pushed away her mental conflict and handed the bottle of body wash to Spike. In silence, the two adversaries washed their own bodies enjoying the last moments of the warm water.
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tbc...
 

Chapter 3: Towels and Eggs

Towel clad, the two individuals emerged from the bathroom clean and wet. With a furtive glance to the hallway, Buffy and Spike slinked across the wooden floor and into Buffy’s bedroom. The door hastily closed behind them. Buffy took a moment to assess the situation.

She was wearing a towel, and Spike’s body, after having possibly the most odd experience in the shower. She looked at her body, across the room, peering out the window at the street below.

It was almost cute the way he was watching some kids on bikes playing on the sidewalk. He was probably eager to get out in the sunshine and wreak havoc on the populace, she thought. That thought was quickly dismissed though, when he recognised the look on her face, gratitude, enjoyment, bliss. Spike hadn’t been in the sun since his failed attempt to kick her ass in the sunlight at the beginning of the year, and before that since he was turned.

“Ok, we need you dressed,” she said with purpose, pushing the image of cute sunlit Spike frolicking in the tulips that had been forcing itself on her brain. She strode up to her closet and began going through the various hangers of clothes.

If it had been summer or even just a little warmer outside she so would have made him wear the frilliest dress she owned, but it was February. And she wasn’t that cruel. She turned from the closet holding a dark blue skirt that had a ruffled slit up the side and a silvery grey wrap around long sleeve shirt with a plunging neckline in her hands.

She was determined that Spike should experience the full effect of being in a woman’s body. God knows that if this predicament should last longer than a few days he was in for a messy surprise.

Spike was indeed looking at the children riding their bicycles in the street. However, his mind was elsewhere, focused on the beat of Buffy’s heart in her chest, the feeling of being alive. A feeling so very different from the still coolness of his own body.

He was also debating exactly what he should do about being left randy by her high and mightiness.

Buffy walked over to her underwear drawer and pulled out a matching set, black thong and bra.

“Here,” she ordered, thrusting the garments at him, still mesmerized by the kids outside.

Spike looked at the clothes with a raised eyebrow. “Seem a little girly to me, pet, got anything in leather?”

“Just put it on. If you have problems with the bra let me know.”

Buffy watched with a smile as Spike fumbled with the pile of clothes for a moment, before squatting and ducking her head under her bed, in search of something she had hoped that Spike would never find out about and that she hadn’t the heart to give away.

A couple of days after Willow’s ‘My Will be Done’ spell she had been shopping. That in itself was not unusual, but what was unusual was that she had bought him clothes. She didn’t know what had come over her. She was supposed to be disgusted with the whole Spike kissage thing but when she saw the light blue shirt she knew right away that it would go perfectly with his eyes.

And of course, once she started shopping for him she couldn’t stop until she had a complete outfit. This was why, in her time of need, she found a box of Spike-sized clothes under her bed. She regretted now not buying boxers for him too.

Buffy stood once more and stare at the towel covering Spike’s nakedness from her. Exactly how am I supposed to get this body dressed without Spike’s spike getting all friendly? she wondered.

Suddenly, a snarl broke the silence of the room. Buffy turned to see Spike struggling with the bra she had given him. The back clasp seemed to elude him.

Stifling a giggle, Buffy dropped the box of clothes she was carrying on the bed and headed over to the vampire trapped in her body.

“You’d think that seeing as I can get the blighters off women with no problems, I could at least get one on...” he said frustrated.

“Spike...” Buffy put a hand on her arm and turned him around, taking the bra from him. “I said if you needed help...” Buffy motioned for him to put up his arms and reached around to place the bra over her towelled body. “There... now, the undies.”

Spike held up the scrap of cloth that he was supposed to slip on and raised an eyebrow. “Can’t I just leave ‘em off? Never wear ‘em normally...”

“No!” exclaimed a shocked Buffy. “It’s my body you are wearing and you will put underwear on it!”

“Hardly seems worth it...” he said inspecting the thin strip that was the back of the underwear. “Doesn’t cover much.”

“Covers the important parts,” she muttered taking the pair away from him and squatting down on the floor by her body’s feet. “Step in,” she ordered.

Reluctantly Spike stepped into the thong, and Buffy began to slide the garment up her legs, pulling back the towel to make sure that the thong rested in the right spots.

Face-to-crotch with her own body she couldn’t help but notice something rather embarrassing, well if she had been in her own body.

“Spike, are you turned on in my body? Ewww.”

“Smelled that did you?” he answered, more intent on the slip of fabric that was resting up Buffy’s crack than her question.

She gave him a glare and crossed her arms, waiting for an apology, or an explanation or something.

“Feels weird,” he muttered, squirming.

“You’ll get used to it,” she remarked, gripping the towel that still hung from under the bra she had put on earlier. With a swift tug the towel came free and Spike was left clad in the matching thong and bra combo.

“Clothes, now,” she ordered and she headed back to the bed and the pile of clothes that she was going to have to put on Spike’s body. Reluctantly Buffy held up the blue jeans and sighed deeply, realising for the first time that she didn’t need to breathe.

It was an interesting sensation. Buffy experimented, holding a breath in for a lot longer than she thought healthy with no nasty side effects. Stuck in a vampire’s body was really going to give her the ‘walk a mile in someone else’s shoes’ experience. Though in this case they were really scuffed Doc Martin’s.

Reluctantly Buffy drew the jeans on to the body she was inhabiting. Pulling them up to the waist wasn’t the problem; the problem, she was finding, was that appendage that had a mind of its own. It just wouldn’t go into the jeans of its own accord.

She was going to have to touch it.

“Having problems pet?” asked Spike from his position on the other side of the room.

Buffy looked over to find herself fully dressed, towel still on her head.

“I think I need to get a stick to beat this thing down,” she complained.

Spike chuckled. “No, luv, I don’t think that would help the problem at all,” he said as he sauntered over to her position by the bed, reached up under the towel and gently guided his cock down into the confines of the jeans she had put on his body. Slowly he zipped them up and yanked down the towel that was around his waist.

“Look good enough to eat luv,” he said seductively, tongue wetting Buffy’s lush full lips.

“Eww Spike! I’m in your body!”

“I know I’m hot luv,” he said with a grin. “Had enough women tell me so over the last century to realise it’s the truth.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “I bet you’d suck your own cock if you could too,” she said flippantly.

“Maybe later Slayer. Need to get your shampoo commercial hair dry, don’t I?”
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Joyce returned home from the butcher’s with a wide selection of blood. She hadn’t thought that buying blood would be such a difficult process. The muffled voices she could hear from upstairs told her that they were getting along.

The sound of the hairdryer filled the air as Joyce cracked eggs into a frying pan. This situation was not one she had prepared for when Rupert had filled her in on all the perils of her daughter’s chosen duty. She had no doubt that it wasn’t a permanent condition, but had worries that it would take longer than necessary to get everything back to normal.

She just hoped that Riley had a chance to see Buffy in Spike’s body. She wanted to see the hulking man get a little comeuppance.

Joyce tried to be charitable. She wanted to like Riley, she really did. But there was something within her that just knew that Riley and Buffy weren’t meant to be. He was wrong in so many ways.

And she’d only met him a few times.

There was a knock on the door. Joyce tossed aside a dishtowel and greeted her early morning visitor, hastily bidding pause to her unRiley thoughts.

“Good morning, Willow.” Joyce smiled at the red head ushering her into the hallway.

“Buffy didn’t come back to the dorm last night, and Giles phoned, there’s research doing to be done?” she asked, babbling.

“I would think so, but I’ll let Buffy tell you when she comes down stairs. They’re doing hair at the moment,” explained Joyce.

“They?” asked a confused Willow.
__________________________________________
Joyce was serving breakfast to Willow, Xander, Anya and Giles when Spike and Buffy came down into the dining room.

Xander’s fork paused halfway to his mouth, taking in the scene of the two mortal enemies walking in to the room causally together.

“Is Dead Boy Jr. wearing something other than black? Perpetually in the 80’s boy moves on! Call the Undead Times.”

Willow gave him a look.

Buffy looked from her friends to her Watcher to her mother. Obviously her mom had not told the story. What she had told Giles over his answering machine had been cryptic at best.

“Buffy,” greeted Giles. “Shall we start at exactly what necessitated this early morning meeting?”

“Yes, I was enjoying some particularly delightful sex related dreams when Xander woke me up,” noted Anya.

Buffy rolled the blue eyes she had control of.

“And I like what Spike is wearing,” continued Anya. “It brings out his eyes very nicely. You have very pretty eyes for a vampire.”

Spike lit up in a smile, Buffy’s green orbs sparkling at the compliment.

“You think he has pretty eyes?” asked Xander of his girlfriend aghast.

“Your eyes are pretty too, Xander,” soothed the ex demon.

“Yes, well as fascinating as it is that Spike has nice eyes, can we get to the point?” asked Giles.

“Yes, I think that would be a good idea,” commented Joyce. “Why don’t you two sit down and have some breakfast? I have blood warming up in the microwave. I hope pig is ok.”

Buffy shrugged as she sat. She’d never had blood before, but the rumblies in Spike’s tummy were not going to take exception to that fact.

Buffy looked out at her friends. The moment she started talking all hell was going to break loose. She looked over at her body and the vampire that was currently scarfing down bacon and omelette like it was going out of style.

“Whoa! Hold your horses there buddy, that’s my body you’re filling up with pig grease. I do NOT want to find myself ten pounds heavier because you couldn’t control yourself,” she ranted, standing up from the table.

“Too thin anyway, surprised that Soldier Boy hasn’t said anything. Like my women to have curves, love,” he retorted looking up from the plate with glee.

The others around the table sat, their mouths open at the pair arguing.

“Good thing I’m not your woman then isn’t it. God! Spike do you even think before you speak or do you enjoy the verbal vomit you spew?”

Joyce re-entered the dining room holding the glass of blood she had warmed in the kitchen and set in down in front of Spike’s body. “Buffy, stop antagonizing Spike and drink your blood.”

With a pout, Buffy took the glass and drank.

“Is that why Spike’s wearing new clothes? Cause Buffy’s in his body?” asked Anya. “It makes sense you know. If I was in Spike’s body I’d dress him differently too.”

Xander turned to his girlfriend. “Huh? Buffy’s trapped in the killer vampire’s body and the first thing you think about is the clothes thing? The logic of your brain befuddles, Ahn.”

“At least I follow logic of a sort, Xander Harris,” she huffed.

“How...how did this happen?” asked Willow confused, neglecting her eggs.

“There was a thing...” started Spike, trying to speak through a mouthful of bacon.

“Eww!” Buffy rolled blue eyes and threw a napkin at him. “Spike picked something off the road last night and when he was handing it over, we switched. Didn’t notice until this morning.” Buffy sat down with a plunk. “I was all vampirey with a splash of male and he was me.

“Sounds like a Draconian Katra spell,” said Giles, wiping his mouth. “Will take the better part of the day to conjure up one similar to switch you back. Provided it works you should be back in your own bodies by sunset.”

“Oh!” gasped Buffy, getting up and giving her watcher a hug.

“Oy! Don’t appreciate my body being all affectionate with the Watcher Slayer!” spouted Spike.

“Ungrateful vampire,” Buffy muttered going back to her seat.
__________________________________________
tbc...
 

Chapter 4: Post Secondary Education

Buffy’s plan had been to stay at home all day and catch up on some most needed TV watching. Her mother, unfortunately had other plans.

“Your education is expensive Buffy, and I will not have you waste it!” lectured her mother, the house now devoid of the Watcher and Scoobies.

Spike looked on with interest, wondering exactly how this conversation was going to end.

“I can’t go to school Mom, I’m all Spike-like! Remember sun equals flamey death?” retorted Buffy, as she waved Spike’s hands in the air for emphasis.

“I understand Buffy, but that doesn’t mean your body can’t go to school for you, I’m sure that Spike will take very good notes for you.”

Joyce looked over at the body housing her daughter and smiled when she saw Spike’s mouth agape. With a small turn of her head she noted that Buffy’s body was reacting in the same way.

“You can’t honestly suggest that Spike go to school for me Mom. He’ll ruin my life!”

Spike snorted at the idea. “I’m not going to bloody ruin your perfect bubble gum life, Slayer. Might actually raise your grades,” he muttered.

Joyce smiled. “Wonderful. Buffy tell him what classes you have today and where they are.”

“But he hasn’t done any of the reading! You are so going to get me in trouble,” she whined. “And just what am I supposed to do while Spike is living my life? Exactly what does he do that’s so useful during the day?”
__________________________________________
Clad in the garb of a sophisticated co-ed, Spike sauntered up to the UC Sunnydale campus wondering what havoc he could wreak on the Slayer’s life.

On the little piece of paper he held in Buffy’s manicured hands was the class schedule for the day: English lit, Modern History and Sociology. Spike exhaled the air out of Buffy’s living lungs and walked towards impending doom.

The halls of this particular building were replete with college kids, unaware of the evil killer in their midst. Every vampire feared the Slayer, but the idea that such a killer was just happily walking around the campus living the life of a carefree student boggled his mind. Checking the doorways for room numbers, Spike failed to notice he was being followed.

“Buffy?” came a familiar voice.

Spike tried to ignore the sound. Unfortunately it was habit now, to look for the Slayer when he heard her name. Spike felt a hand on Buffy’s arm and turned to face the encroacher with a glare.

“Buffy?” asked Captain Cardboard again, “I called after you; I guess you didn’t hear me?”

Spike inwardly groaned. Spike looked over the hulk of a man that held him fast in his grip. The Slayer’s boy toy.

“Can I walk you to class?” Riley asked.

Spike held back the laugh that was about to issue from his lips.

“I called you last night, but you weren’t in the dorm. Did you go home to your mother’s house?” he asked.

Spike warily looked over at the Solider Boy. Spike tried to think of what to say and how to say it to get this oaf to leave him the bloody hell alone. With the personal mantra of ‘Slayer will dust your ass if you muck up her peachy keen life’ Spike opened Buffy’s lip glossed mouth to speak.

“Ya, I did,” said Spike distinctly, ever aware of the fact that the British accent was not going anywhere. In a hundred and change years that he’d been around he hadn’t managed to fake an American accent worth a damn. And now he was going to pay for it.

“You should have let me know. Willow wasn’t there either.”

“Am I supposed to bloody check in with you now?” Spike asked incredulously. “Seems to me that this bint can take care of herself. Slayer and all.”

Riley’s forehead wrinkled. “Buffy what’s up with the accent? Are you trying out for the drama club?”

Spike rolled his eyes at that comment. The urge to snap this git’s neck was overwhelming. However, he was loath to switch back into a pile of dust.

“Giles starting to rub off on you?” continued Riley.

Spike yanked Buffy’s arm away from the wanker and stepped back.

“Better run off to class like the good little co-ed I am,” said Spike, making Buffy’s already high girlish voice even higher. Spike turned away from Riley with the intention of getting as much distance between the two of them as possible.

“Buffy?” called Riley once more. “I’ll pick you up at eight, like we planned?”

Spike stopped dead in his tracks. The Slayer had a date with this git? Bloody buggering hell!
__________________________________________
The horrible possibility that his Slayer had a date with that ponce intruded on his thoughts all through Buffy’s English Lit class. They were discussing Shakespeare’s sonnets, a normally intriguing topic for him, though he would be a fool to admit it. Unfortunately, his mind was swirling at the possibly of exactly what would happen tonight at eight. The mere thought at spending any time voluntarily with Captain Cardboard was revolting, and had begun to churn the breakfast that he had eaten that morning. He had to get the Slayer to give him Riley’s phone number, so that he could break off the date.

Spike emerged from the Lit class determined to fix this situation himself and strode with purpose to the Slayer’s dorm room.

She must have the git’s number written somewhere.

Spike turned the lock with ease and tested the door for that barrier which he expected.

There was no barrier after all.

With a smile Spike passed the threshold, gleeful in his new ability to enter any house, any residence with ease.

Before him lay the Slayer’s dorm room; two beds pristinely made, not a shoe out of place. Spike sat on the bed and brushed Buffy’s long blond locks out of his view before beginning his search for the git’s phone number.

The bedside table was a jumble, lacking in the organisation that the room exuded. Clearly the room was a façade for the underlying mess. Spike waded through the pens, papers, lipsticks, stakes and random jewellery before his hand passed over something that made his whole being cringe.

A condom.

The Slayer was having sex with the Soldier Boy.

The revelation was not new. Sure, he had assumed that they had been going at it, but the idea that Solider Boy had no idea that it wasn’t the Slayer occupying her gorgeous body, was something else indeed. Spike tossed the condom into Buffy’s bag and carried on inspecting the contents of the bedside table.

Spike slammed the drawer shut with annoyance when he had finished going through the contents, no paper labelled ‘Riley’s phone number’ was contained therein.

Spike passed a glance at the rest of the room. There was a desk...it could be there. Spike stood up from the bed and walked towards the desk, only to be interrupted by a knock on the dorm door. Slightly worried about what he would find on the other side of that door, Spike reached out for the handle.
__________________________________________
Buffy stared in shock at the list of things to do today that Spike had given her. He had sworn up and down that these were the things that he had really intended to do. Buffy, on the other hand, couldn’t help but think that perhaps Spike was making her life hell by making her do menial labour.

She was standing in his crypt, Spike’s face a mixture of disgust and annoyance.

Who the hell was Clem? Buffy asked herself. Kittens?

Buffy thought back to the last time she had had a good look at Spike’s hair and concurred that, yes, he did need to dye his hair again. But there was no way that she was going to scour the dump for a fridge!

Her mother had insisted that it was the least she could do, as Spike was going to school for her. It was completely unfair that her mother seemed to be all ‘yay Spike’ since this happened. Maybe it was because he was instrumental in the knocking out of Faith the Psycho or maybe it was something else.

Maybe mom ‘liked’ Spike. Ewwww. After the whole Band Candy incident last year Buffy had been perfectly willing to believe that her mom was not a sexual creature. In fact, she blocked out all references to sex and her mom in the same sentence at each opportunity.

The idea of Spike and her mom together though, brought about feelings that were way beyond ewww. Her mom couldn’t like Spike, he was Spike. He was hers.

Hers.

Spike was hers. Hers to stake, hers to fight, hers to do...

That was why she was so mad at the Initiative right? They tampered with her vampire.

The Spike version of resolve face covered his chiselled cheeks; Buffy got out a broom and attacked those cobwebs.
__________________________________________
Spike threw back the door of Buffy’s dorm room to reveal Riley, goofy grin pasted on his face.

“Buffy!” he greeted, pushing past Spike to get into the room. “You ran off so fast after your class, I didn’t get to see you. Are you feeling ok today? You seem off...”

Spike felt that urge to rip off the git’s head return. Riley walked about the room looking over the immaculate housekeeping of the Slayer and Red. He leaned over the bed and picked something up out of the Slayer’s bag.

The vampire trapped in the Slayer’s body looked on with horror as Riley held up the condom with a smile on his face.

“Intending to seduce me, little lady?” Riley said, trying to sound seductively.

Spike cringed feeling like Buffy’s stomach was rebelling.

Riley sauntered up towards him, reaching out with his massive hands. Spike stepped backwards only to find himself backed up against Buffy’s desk.

“We could blow off your next class and get started early...” added Riley, putting his hand suggestively over the bulge in his trousers.

Spike was ready to heave. There was only so much that he was willing to go through to keep the Slayer’s life all perfect like she wanted. Spike swallowed down his disgust. He’d put up with this crap long enough. He let Solider Boy lean in closer before putting his plan into action.

Riley’s breath was humid on Buffy’s cheek, before Spike pushed Captain Cardboard away.

“Uh, Solider Boy, you are making me want to heave. Get off!” spat Spike, pushing Riley off of Buffy’s body. Riley landed on the floor with a thump. Spike relished the lack of chippyness in his head.

“If you don’t mind, Whitebread, I’ve got Modern History to attend.” Spike picked up Buffy’s bag off the bed and turned to head out the door. “And don’t bother to pick me up for our...date...” Spike made a disgusted look. “I would rather let a Pithrol demon eat my brains than let you touch me.”

Spike flipped Buffy’s hair over her shoulder and strode out the door, but not before plucking the condom out of Riley‘s fingers.
__________________________________________
Spike sat down carefully beside Willow in Modern History. He assumed that the Slayer would be sitting beside her friend.

Willow looked over shocked at the body of her friend beside her.

“Uh, does Buffy know you are out and about Spike?” Willow asked.

Spike nodded. “I’m to attend the bint’s classes and not muck up her perfect Slayer life.”

“You are taking notes for her?” asked Willow.

In response Spike got out the note book that Buffy had given him to write down her notes. Willow glanced over the flowing cursive writing that covered the pages.

“You have nice handwriting Spike,” complimented Willow.

Spike smiled, and turned to pay attention to the professor.

“Did you see Riley, or more to the point did Riley see you?” asked Willow. “‘Cause that would be bad.”

“Oh I saw the git, tried to get it on with his girl in the dorm room at one point.”

Willow’s jaw dropped. “What did you do?” she asked.

“Told him to sod off. The way he was breathing all over her body, made me want to heave.”

Willow nodded.

“’Sides got my girl’s education to think of, not gettin’ laid, now don’t I?”

“Your girl?” asked Willow.

“Damn straight, she’s wearing my body and all, we are stuck with each other right now.”
__________________________________________
tbc...

__________________________________________
Chapter 5: Chicken Wings and Unwanted Advances

Buffy leaned over the bathroom sink, Spike’s hands covered in latex gloves, peroxide burning his scalp. Not a pleasant feeling.

With a very unmanly pout, Buffy stood upright, adjusting the towel that sat on Spike’s shoulders, protecting his alabaster chest from stray peroxide.

Buffy was still very much of the opinion that this day sucked. Spike’s crypt was free of cobwebs, she had watched Passions, taking detailed notes, as if there was going to be a test later, and she was now bleaching Spike’s hair. Three things checked off on Spike’s list of things to do today.

Buffy took a long look at the bathroom in which she was standing. The scene of earlier misadventures with Spike Jr and her hands. She couldn’t stop thinking about the whole shower, the way that he made her hands touch his body, the way that it felt to have Spike’s cock hard and wanting release, the orgasm...

That was the thing that invaded her thoughts most. The orgasm. Gah! Starting to think like Anya!

The problem was that she never thought this long about the orgasms that Riley was responsible for, they’d never been so intense. She stopped her uncharitable thoughts about her boyfriend, focusing on more pleasant memories.

It made Spike’s skin break out in goose bumps as she resumed her pleasant ponderings. Unconsciously she closed Spike’s blue eyes and let his head tilt back. The memories produced tangible tingles all over his body and slowly one of his hands, as if of its own free volition, travelled down the length of his torso and slipped past and into the waist band of the blue jeans that Buffy had dressed Spike’s body in this morning.

Spike’s fingers brushed to tip of his cock, causing Buffy to let out a gasp of delight at the sensation. Buffy opened Spike’s blue eyes and looked around the bathroom, as if there had been someone around to watch her get naughty with Spike’s body.

Which was turning out to be a really good idea right now.

Buffy looked down at Spike’s denim encased length with wonder, the vampire’s hand still resting inside the waist band.

No one would ever have to know, right? she thought.

Nervously she popped the button to the blue jeans Spike was wearing and let Spike Jr make an appearance as she slid down the zipper.

Spike’s mouth formed a perfect ‘o’ as Buffy inspected Spike’s spike. Her earlier comment about his size was completely accurate. And it was turned on. Tentatively she reached out to touch the belled head, startling herself when it bobbed of its own accord.

Buffy quirked an eyebrow. Am I turned on because I’m thinking about Spike’s body, or is Spike’s body turned on, because it’s Spike’s body and he’s a pig?

She chuckled to herself, Spike’s manly voice echoing through the bathroom. She glanced down once more at the erection Spike’s body was sporting and decided that she had best do something about it. It wouldn’t do to have her mother come home from work to see her daughter with a hard on, would it?

Logical, Right?

Spike’s black nail polished fingers skirted over his shaft, tracing veins. Slowly, Buffy grasped the appendage and pumped Spike’s hand over the length a few times.

And it felt good. Really good.

She had done this before to Riley, but never to completion. Riley always wanted it done ‘proper.’ She had never seen a man cum until today, it always had to be in her. It didn’t leave room for exploration of undiscovered territory.

It’s educational, really, it is, she thought, as she moved Spike’s hand up and down his length.

Buffy watched with fascination as precum began to form, soon coating Spike’s hands with the substance, making her actions faster, more heated.

The intensity built forcing Buffy to lean against the sink, hoping that Spike’s knees wouldn’t fail her. The rhythmic pumping of his hand against his cock and the sensations that came from that little action sent Buffy’s brain into overdrive. She wanted to cum. She needed to cum. And she needed to find something to think about to make her do it.

Forcing Spike’s eyes shut, Buffy tried to focus on the last time she had good sex, riding with abandon on a hard cock like the one that was in Spike’s hand right this very moment. Naked and hot, enjoying the sensation of a hard shaft thrusting inside of her, hitting that spot, driving her over the edge.

A moan echoed through the bathroom.

Spike’s hand pumped faster while Buffy screwed Spike’s eyes shut harder, imagining the contours of the man in her brain fucking the daylights out of her. His strong arms, holding her firmly in place, perfect abs, manly hands, black polished fingers digging into her hips, piercing blue eyes staring at her, waiting for her to cum.

With a roar, Buffy came, coating Spike’s hands with cum.

As she cleaned up, it dawned on her that it hadn’t been Riley fucking her in her mind’s eye.

“Oh my God!” she yelled at the mirror that held no reflection. I was thinking of fucking Spike!
__________________________________________
Spike bid Willow goodbye outside Modern History, feeling the need to put some food into Buffy’s stomach. He stopped by the cafeteria and purchased a garden salad, cause that’s what the Slayer would eat, Spicy chicken wings, a piece of cherry cheesecake, bag of M&Ms and a Chocolate Milk.

He sat down at a free table with his booty intent on filling’s the Slayer’s stomach up and getting rid of the horrible hollow feeling. Buffy’s nimble fingers made easy work of the plastic containers and he was poised, fork in hand ready to dig in, when the only other chair at the table was suddenly occupied.

Solider Boy was back.

“Bloody hell!” cursed Spike. “Can’t you soddin’ take a hint?” seethed Spike.

Riley laughed. “Have you been taking British accent lessons from Spike, Buffy?” asked Riley. “’Cause you sound ridiculous.”

Spike let a moment pass before responding.

“Listen you buggering ponce!” Spike hissed. “Leave me the bleedin’ hell alone!”

Riley guffawed. “Buffy you can’t expect me to believe that! I think this coy school girl fluttering virtue is all really sweet, but it’s been a week since I was last inside you and it’s driving me insane. Please Buffy, I’m begging here. Have a little compassion.”

Spike looked back in horror. The words ‘Too Much Information’ were ringing through his mind. Spike swiftly packed up his food sealing the goodness into their plastic coverings and placing them in Buffy‘s bag.. Spike and Riley rose at the same time, Spike holding his container of Spicy wings.

“You have an hour between classes right?” asked Riley with hope. “I’ll have you back to your class with plenty of time.”

“An hour isn’t enough for a proper shag you wanker!” spat Spike. “How the bloody hell the Slayer puts up with your oafish bollocking about, it boggles the mind. Take a bit of advice Whitebread...get used to taking care of yourself.”

Spike stepped away from him, only to be pulled back by Riley’s meaty hand.

“Buffy? What’s wrong with you?” asked Riley. “You know I don’t do...that...it’s unhealthy...Why won’t you go to bed with me?”

Spike smiled, knowing that Buffy’s dazzling smile beamed up at the Soldier Boy. “Well this Slayer’s undergone some changes,” said Spike happily, wrenching Buffy’s arm from Riley’s grip.
__________________________________________
Spike rushed off to Buffy’s dorm room, with the idea that there, he could have peace and quiet long enough to actually eat this lunch.

Spike opened the door only to find Red and some girl he had never met before kissing on Red’s bed.

“Bloody buggering hell!” Spike cried. “I just want to eat my soddin’ lunch in bloody peace!”

Willow and her friend stopped their pawing at each other to look at the source of the outburst. Buffy’s body was sitting sullenly on her bed, holding a plate of Chicken wings.

“Uh? Spike?” asked Willow.

There was sniffle from the Slayer’s body.

“I don’t know why I’m all teary!” he muttered, trying to reign in the tears. “I’m just all emotional!”

Willow sat down beside him on Buffy’s bed, a tentative hand patting Buffy’s back. “Mood Swing,” the witch explained.

“Wanna run that by me again?” asked Spike not quite understanding.

“I know Buffy’s cycles pretty well; you live with another girl, your cycles start working in sync. You are PMSing Spike.”

It was as if the day was a bottomless pit of badness. A new dimension of hell that Dante hadn’t written about.

“M...maybe I should go,” stammered the blond that Willow had been kissing, now standing awkwardly off to the side of the room.

“No!” protested Willow, looking at her new girlfriend. “Don’t go, or, I can go with, and let Spike eat.” Willow looked at her friend’s body with a smile. “We’ll go, k?”

Spike nodded, feeling his hunger return, as his sniffles subsided. He watched the witch and her friend leave the room, hand in hand. He set out a mini picnic on the Slayer’s floor, eager to get this day over with.
__________________________________________
Buffy skulked about Spike’s crypt feeling very guilty about her ‘wank’ and thinking about Spike instead of Riley. This did not bode well for future Riley/Buffy relations. She was already at that point where she couldn’t really remember what Riley’s cock looked like.

Though if Riley ever found out that she was with Spike’s naked body and gave him a hand job...she didn’t think it would matter if she never remembered what Riley’s cock looked like.

Buffy shook Spike’s newly bleached locks, trying to get the image of Spike’s length out of her mind, and desperately hoping that the appendage in question wouldn’t rise to the occasion. She just wanted to get this over with. There wasn’t much she could do while the sun was still up, but she could do this.

Buffy raised Spike’s hand up high, a measuring tape in his hand. There was no way she was going to be scouring the dump for a fridge, but what she was prepared to do was use her mom’s credit card at Sears.

Buffy was eyeballing the furniture in the upper level of the crypt when she heard a pitiful moan from the down stairs.

She was well acquainted with the lower level of the crypt, after taking the sewers back and forth to her house a couple of times already today. Buffy grabbed one of Spike’s many axes that lay about the crypt haphazardly hidden and descended the ladder into the darkness of the downstairs.

Buffy followed Spike’s eyes to the back corner of the crypt, near the sewer entrance, only to come face to face with Harmony of all vampires, her face covered in tears, her clothes dirty and worn.

“Harmony?” asked Buffy, weirded out. She so didn’t want to have to deal with Spike’s ex girlfriend right now, she had a fridge shopping to plan.

She is Spike’s Ex girlfriend though right? Buffy asked herself.

“Oh!” gasped Harmony excitedly, “You’re here! Of course you’re here, I mean it’s your crypt. But you’re here and you can take me in.”

“Take you in?” asked Buffy, Spike’s eyebrow raised in confusion.

Harmony rose to her feet and sauntered up to Buffy, seduction clearly on the vampiress’ mind.

Buffy took a step back. “Uh, Harmony, I don’t think it would be a good idea... for you to stay here, I mean. Everyone knows who lives in this crypt, right? Anyone who knows your history would definitely look for you here.”

Harmony pouted. “Why are you talking all American like? What happened to my Blondie Bear?”

Buffy spat out a laugh. “Blondie Bear?”

“You know I call you my Blondie Bear, Spike. I thought you liked it,” Harmony purred, wrapping an arm around Spike’s neck and trailing a manicured finger up Spike’s chest.

Buffy knew enough about Spike to know that there was no way in hell that he would ever willingly consent to being called ‘Blondie Bear.’

“All this not black you are wearing is turning me on,” whispered Harmony, her mouth getting ever closer to Spike’s ear.

Spike’s eyes went wide and Buffy threw Harmony off, backing up closer to the ladder.

“Holy Crap!” cried Buffy. This can’t be happening Buffy panicked.

“Spike, what the hell is wrong with you?” asked Harmony.

So many retorts, witty put downs and insults came to mind, but in the end Buffy took the higher ground. She raised a hand in Harmony’s direction, before walking briskly past her and out the sewer entrance. Destination: home.
__________________________________________
tbc...

________________________
Chapter 6: Not Listening

Spike sat calmly in Buffy’s final class for the day, her tummy pleasantly full. As the class filled up, and the volume around him reached a pitch, Spike was surprised to feel a hand on Buffy’s arm. A flash of white teeth and a toss of shorn blond hair greeted Buffy’s green eyes as Spike stared down the person that dared touch his Slayer.

“Buffy, you are looking particularly gorgeous today,” came the male voice. “I heard you broke up with Riley in the caf. If you need anything, shoulder to cry on, someone to get the idiot out of your system, you call me, k?”

It took Spike a moment to process just what had happened. He had been hit on. Spike looked down at Buffy’s note book to see a scrawled phone number and dorm room.

Spike looked at the clock. Two more hours to go...
________________________
Buffy entered her house and shut the door with haste. Spike's body was smoking from the run from the sewer grate. One of the things on the con list of being in a vampire’s body, she thought.

Another being what she was going to have to do to get Spike’s tummy from making the rumblies. She walked to the fridge, taking out a pitcher of blood. Why did mom decide to put the stuff in a pitcher?

Carefully replacing the pitcher, Buffy took her glass of blood back into the living room with the intent to watch more TV. Maybe it was the vamp taste buds Spike was sporting, but the blood didn’t taste all that bad.

Resisting the urge to begin an inner monologue rant with herself, Buffy sipped her blood and propped Spike's feet up on the coffee table. She was about to drift off into peaceful oblivion when she heard the front door open and was tackled to the ground, her assailant hitting her glass of blood and knocking it off the coffee table.

Look up from the floor Buffy instantly recognised her attacker.

Riley.

“You piece of shit vampire! You made her do it to me! You’ve got some weird thrall over her!” Riley shouted, raising his fist.

Buffy put up Spike’s hands in defence. “What are you talking about Riley? What happened?” she asked.

He answered her with his fist, coming down on Spike’s nose.

“Ow!” she yelled, trying to push him off of Spike’s prostrate body. Every time she tried pushing him away another sharp pain would plant itself in Spike’s head.

Gah! The chip!

Riley raised his fist again, this time connecting with Spike’s stomach.

“Riley! Stop please!” she begged, attempting to get out of his reach, scrambling across the floor. “I’m not...”

Riley’s fist connected with Spike’s jaw, cutting off Buffy‘s words. Before she could get Spike’s mouth in working order again Riley was straddling Spike’s torso, clutching a stake poised to strike.

“This will be the last time you get your filthy hands on my girl!” roared Riley.

Spike’s eyes went wide, as Buffy’s brief life flashed in her mind. She firmly believed that Riley was going to kill her, or err, Spike.

“I’m not Spike, Riley! I’m Buffy!” she yelled holding his arm back.

“I should have staked you the moment I found out they were harbouring vamp trash like you!”

They struggled against each other, each vying for the stake.

“Riley! Will you please listen! I’m Buffy!” she shouted through the now swelling lip on Spike‘s face.

“Why? So you can work your thrall on me too?” the soldier asked.

There was a crash of furniture and a thump of things being dropped, distracting Riley for a moment, his grip not loosening though.

“Buffy!” greeted Riley, as if he was a good dog looking for a treat.

Buffy was never so grateful to see herself than at that moment. She relaxed, letting Spike push Riley off of his body.

“Buffy?” Riley asked as if curious why she had pushed him.

Spike sent a few choice punches towards Riley’s jaw, more than making up for the bruises that were forming on his face. Then, after a swift kick to the soldier boy’s side, Spike turned and helped the Slayer up.

“You alright Slayer?” asked Spike looking over the wounds Riley had inflicted on his body.

The look on her face was just so concerned, so compassionate that she fought hard to keep Spike’s eyes from crying.

“I’m ok,” she said. “Thank you for coming to my rescue,” she whispered. “He was really gonna kill us.”

“I don’t understand why you keep saving him Buffy, he’s evil!” spat Riley. “He’s using thrall against you! Why can’t you see how he’s corrupting you?”

“Solider Boy’s never been fond of me pet,” he noted, brushing back Buffy’s long blond hair that was inhibiting his view.

“That’s an understatement,” muttered Buffy, feeling Spike’s face for bruises. “What the hell is wrong with you!” she yelled at Riley. “What the hell do you think you are doing barging into my house and attacking Spike’s body. What did he do to you? Gah!” Buffy threw up Spike’s hands into the air. “I’m so mad at you right now! You don’t go around beating on people who can’t defend themselves!”

Buffy looked down at the blue shirt she had dressed Spike’s body in that day to find that it was covered in blood.

“And look at his shirt! This was clean this morning! I’ll never get the blood out!” Buffy’s gaze shifted to the carpet under her feet. “You are so in trouble when my mom gets home!” said Buffy, Spike’s finger pointing to the large red stain on the floor.

Riley had a confused look on his face, his eyes darting between Spike and Buffy. His eyes finally rested on Buffy’s body.

“Buffy babe, please, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I know that he has to be behind it. You would have never said those things to me if he wasn’t in control of you! Let me kill him and we can go back to the way things were!” Riley pleaded.

“Get this through your thick head Riley. I’m Buffy,” she said pointing to Spike’s chest. “And that is Spike” she said pointing to herself. “And said what things?” asked Buffy turning towards Spike in her body, putting Spike’s hands on his hips, a Buffy pose if ever there was one.

“The wanker was getting all friendly, not takin’ hints. Told him I wouldn’t be givin’ it up to the likes of him,” explained Spike.

Spike’s blue eyes focused on Riley. “You tried to sleep with Spike?” asked Buffy incredulous. “YOU TRIED TO SLEEP WITH SPIKE!!!” Spike’s masculine voice reached a pitch he had never heard before. “How could you?” she wailed.

“Buffy!!” protested Riley, walking to wards Buffy’s body then forcing himself to step towards Spike’s body. “I didn’t know you were in Spike’s body! I’m sorry I hit you. God, if only you had told me! I should have been the first person you called! How did this happen? What did he do?”

“It’s all about him again?” she asked.

“He’s evil, Buffy, he’s a vampire!”

“Oh really, Riley? ‘Cause the fact that I was sipping blood before you started pounding the crap out of me? That totally slipped my mind!”

“Buffy, I didn’t know it was you!”

“Whatever Riley,” said Buffy touching Spike’s swollen lip. “Just get the hell out of here. I can’t even look at you without getting mad.”

“No,” stated the soldier. “I’m not leaving you here with him. Who knows what he’s going to do! He broke up with me in the middle of the cafeteria!”

“You broke up with MY boyfriend?” asked Buffy of Spike, her ire focusing in on the vampire trapped in her body.

“No, not really, just told him to leave me the fuck alone!” explained Spike. “It’s not like I wanted all this to happen!”

“He’s trying to ruin your life Buffy! Masquerading as you! God knows what else he got up to!” yelled Riley.

“Oh let’s see shall we,” came Joyce’s voice from the hallway, picking up the bag that Spike had dropped when he came in to rescue Buffy. She took out Buffy’s note book and began flipping through the pages. “Hmmm, English notes, very sinister.”

Spike couldn’t help the cocky smile that was spread across Buffy’s face.

“Spike, did you eat lunch today?” asked Joyce with concern, ignoring the look Riley was shooting her.

“Yes, mum, though had to go back to the dorm room to get away from Soldier Boy there,” said Spike pointing.

Joyce nodded and carried on into the house, giving a pointed look to Riley. “Riley I think it would be best if you came back for Buffy for your date as planned. Giles said that they should be switched back by then, and I really don’t want an upsetting scene in my house again.”

Riley nodded.

“You better come back with apologetic jewellery too,” said Spike, hands on hips giving the solider boy a glare.

Wisely, Riley refrained from saying anything to that.

Both Slayer and Vampire watched the commando leave the house, sullen and without a word, just a few furtive glances at Buffy’s body. The door closed and Spike turned to face his body, mad.

“You are still going to go on a date with that pillock when he essentially beat you?”

Buffy got all quiet and looked down at Spike’s Doc Martin’s for a moment before looking into her own eyes resolutely.
“One word Spike...Harmony!”

Spike raised one of Buffy’s eyebrows confused as he watched her walk off.
________________________
Truth was, though, that Buffy didn’t know what she should think. She needed Willow’s opinion. She couldn’t think of anything else except she needed to talk to Willow and the fact that Spike had just stopped her boyfriend from dusting her.

Spike had saved her.

Or had Spike saved his body?

Buffy looked down at the blue shirt she was wearing which was still covered in blood. With a sigh she trudged upstairs, leaving Spike and her mom talking amicably in the kitchen to get a new shirt.

Buffy had pulled Spike’s black tee over his head when she heard a sound that sent a shiver up her spine...her mom’s flirty laugh.

Panic surged through her for a brief moment. Spike was her vampire. Her mom was all new to the vampire thing! She tried to dismiss the weird possessive and jealous thoughts from her brain, only to be confronted with the ‘Riley hit Buffy’ thoughts once more.

“Riley wasn’t listening, he was just furious, right?” Buffy asked herself, Spike’s voice resonating through her empty bedroom.

That’s not an excuse, came her inner voice.

She tended to agree with inner Buffy.

“He had no business beating on Spike anyway!” she growled.

She didn’t know it but she flashed fang at the empty room.

Spike’s my vampire!
________________________
Buffy trudged downstairs still mad at Riley and eagerly awaiting the time when she was back in her own body, so she could yell at him in her own voice.

Spike’s vampire hearing picked up the laughter coming from the kitchen. Her mom and Spike were obviously having a good time.

“And you were left there holding a plate of chicken wings?” asked her mom of Spike as Buffy entered the room.

Disappointed that she hadn’t stumbled on some illicit conversation between Spike and her mom, Buffy sat down at the island.

“So when is Giles coming to get us all unswitched?” Buffy asked. “Is it going to be before or after I have to drink blood again?”

“I have cow for dinner...” supplied her mother.

“Cow?” asked Buffy with a raised scared eyebrow, Spike’s blue eyes sparkling.

“Cow blood for who ever is the vampire tonight and steak for the other two of us.”

Buffy nodded for a moment. “Hold on! He agreed to stay for dinner?“ Buffy turned Spike’s blue eyes to face herself.

“Of course he did!” noted Joyce as if it would have been obvious. “You and Spike are sharing bodies! He’s family now! He can come by for dinner whenever he wants!”

Spike winked a green eye at Joyce with a smile.
________________________
tbc...

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