Chapter 35 – Can’t Take My Eyes Off You
Walking into the karaoke bar a few hours later, Buffy took in the pleasant
décor with a slight smile. “Gee, for a demon, this guy sure doesn’t like his
place to
be…demony.”
“I guess it would ruin the atmosphere,” Spike said with a shrug. “What was
it that the vampire said?”
“Aside from the various screams?” Buffy asked with a smile.
“Yeah,” he replied, looking around. “And for future reference, pet, it’s not
exactly considered fair play to continue beating the informant while he’s
talking.”
“He pissed me off,” she said with a shrug. “And he checked out my ass. I
would think you would be the one who wanted me to beat him.”
Finally turning to her with a raised eyebrow, Spike’s arm snaked
possessively around her waist. “Well, considering I didn’t know that- why
didn’t you torture him?”
Rolling her eyes, Buffy laughed. “He said to look for the green guy that’s
usually around the bar or the stage.”
“I think we’ve found our man,” Spike said, letting go of Buffy’s waist and
grabbing her hand as they walked through the crowded club.
Seeing the demon turn around when they approached, Buffy was surprised at
the welcoming smile that was offered.
“Welcome to Caritas, kiddies. I’m Lorne the Host and I’ll be at your
service this fine evening, although I think you’ve already serviced the
young lady for the both of us,” he said with a wink at Spike.
Buffy blushed as Spike growled in response, taking a step closer to the
demon before she put her hand on his chest. “I think he’s kidding,” she
said softly before turning back to the Host. “We were told you could help
us.”
“I’ll be happy to help, just as soon as you make your way up to that lovely
stage and sing your little heart out.”
“Ummm…I don’t think that’s the kind of help I was looking for.”
“I’m able to read your destiny by whatever comes out of those pretty pipes.
Trust me, sugar,” he said with a smile, putting his hand on the small of Buffy’s
back and leading her toward the stage. “It will be exactly what you’re looking
for.”
Buffy’s eyes widened as she stepped onstage, hesitantly choosing a song
before looking for Spike in the crowd. She could see him leaning against
the bar as Lorne approached and stood next to him, both of their
attention focused on Buffy.
Taking a deep breath when the music started, Buffy hesitantly began singing.
“So dear to me
Always keep me company
Who needs to go outside
I will be your silent bride
I can't take my eyes off you.”
“Shouldn’t you be watching her?” Spike asked, turning toward Lorne, who was
avidly staring at him.
“I would if I couldn’t read you like a book."
“What do you mean?”
“You really need to let go of some of your insecurities, sweetie.”
“Nothing ever needs to be said
You send your message
right into my head
You fill me up when I'm alone
So soothing is your monotone.”
“I’m not insecure,” Spike finally mumbled.
“Oh really?” he asked, turning toward him. “So you don’t worry everyday
when you wake up that you’re going to lose that woman, whether it be to
death or another man?”
“That’s a pretty common fear among most men,” he replied softly.
“But not among a vampire and Slayer. Not when they have the feelings that
you two have for each other. And not when they’ve each claimed the other.”
“I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
So maybe you're not as real
as the others.”
“I love her,” he whispered.
“And the feeling is mutual.”
“I don’t think so,” Spike said softly.
“Then you shouldn’t think so much,” he retorted with a grin. “The feeling
is mutual.”
“How do you know?”
“Because few things shine brighter in this world than a woman in love.”
“That’s what you’re reading?”
“No, sugarplum,” the Host said, taking Spike by his shoulders and turning
him toward the stage. “That’s what I see.”
“But I choose you over all my past lovers
For they have come and they have gone
but I can always turn you on
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you.”
Spike stared at Buffy as she sang the last notes of the song, staring
directly into his eyes the entire time before he made his way through the
bar and eagerly took her in his arms when she stepped off the stage.
“I love you,” he murmured into her hair.
Buffy didn’t say anything as she tightened her hold on him, feeling emotions
well up inside of her before reluctantly pulling away from him with watery
eyes. Seeing the Host standing behind them, Buffy sniffled slightly. “Can
you help us?”
“I’d like to. Unfortunately, you don’t need my help.”
“Then why the bloody hell-”
“You need the help of the person who is about twenty feet to your right.”
Turning toward the front door, Buffy gasped when she saw Wesley walk in.
Making her way over to him with Spike and Lorne behind her, she noticed the
shocked expression on his face as she approached.
“I have never been so glad to see you,” she said, restraining herself from
hugging the other man.
“Buffy, what are you doing here?”
“Trying to find you, and I ended up finding a demented version of Angel
instead.”
“So you’ve seen him,” he said softly.
“Yeah, and don’t think we won’t be talking about that, Mister.”
“At the risk of sounding redundant, what are you doing here?”
“Apparently there’s this big prophecy, and Giles sent me and Spike on a wild
goose chase to track you down.”
“Spike? William the Bloody?” he asked, looking over her shoulder at the
blonde man.
“Yeah, but you don’t understand. He’s…”
Buffy trailed off, not knowing what to say. ‘He’s good... he won’t hurt you...
he’s my lover?’
“I won’t hurt anybody,” Spike filled in, taking the problem out of her
hands.
“You don’t happen to know where Cordelia is, do you?”
“We’re in the process of starting a new agency after we were downsized against
our will.”
“Is she there right now?” Buffy asked hopefully.
“She is. I’ll take you both there and you can tell me about this prophecy.”
Buffy nodded before turning back to Lorne.
“Thanks,” she said, giving him a smile.
“Don’t trust everyone,” he said, studying the young woman in front of him.
“What do you mean?” Buffy asked, reaching for Spike’s hand and clutching it
in a firm grip.
“You might be advised to take some unusual…advice at some point. Don’t
always trust it.”
“And when will this happen?” Spike asked, tilting his head in confusion.
“I’m guessing right around the time that the little bunny in the oven
decides to make an appearance,” he said with a gentle smile.
“What?” Spike asked in hopeful disbelief.
“Oh, you had to know,” he said, his smile growing broader.
“W-when did it happen?” Buffy asked.
“I don’t think you need me to answer that,” Lorne said in a soft voice.
“B-but I was kidnapped,” she said with uncertainty. “I was injected with
some poison and wouldn’t it hurt the baby?”
“Under normal circumstances, yes, but not when there are some mystical
barriers around it, preventing anything from happening,” he said. “Someone
up there is on your side for this baby to be born. But like I said, don’t
trust everyone.”
“And we can trust you?” Spike asked skeptically.
“I can vouch for him,” Wesley spoke up, still stunned by the news that his
former Slayer was having a baby and it seemed the father was one of the most
vicious vampires ever recorded.
“Take care of yourself,” Lorne said, giving her a hug. “And if you need me,
you know where to find me.”
Turning to look at Spike in amazement, Buffy’s stunned look faded away when she
saw the beaming smile on his face. “We’re going to have a baby,” she whispered,
seconds later, feeling herself wrapped in his arms, lifting her into the air as
she was spun around in a circle before he carefully lowered her to her feet.
“You’re going to make me a father,” he said softly. “I can’t believe it.”
Chapter 36 – Tender Heart
“So,” Buffy said slowly, looking back and forth between Cordelia and Wesley
and a man whom Buffy had never met named Charles Gunn. “Darla gets pulled
back from whatever beyond she was sent to, Drusilla vamped her, Angel fired
you, and now he’s on this obsession kick where he thinks he has to what?
Kill her?”
“All I know is that he’s being a Grade A jackass,” Cordy spoke up.
“Personally, I’m more interested in the aspects of this pregnancy,” Wes
spoke up, trying to get information from them again. He’d been persistent
the entire way to the office, but Buffy and Spike had been too shocked with
the recent discovery of the pregnancy to give him much information.
“I told you, Wes. It’s a prophecy,” Buffy said, pacing the length of the
small room. “It’s not even one hundred percent guaranteed that I’m
pregnant, just cause the green guy said so-”
“Lorne read you?” Cordelia asked, having already heard about the pregnancy
the moment Wesley walked through the door and taking it with a grain of
salt. “I think it’s safe to say that you are.”
“Okay,” Buffy said, feeling her stomach turn, one of the many signs of
pregnancy that she was choosing to ignore for the time being. “We need to
figure out how to get to Darla.”
“We’re not,” Spike said forcefully, causing Buffy to turn around and meet
his strong gaze.
“I’m not letting these two go on a killing spree through the city.”
“It’s too dangerous,” Spike replied, shaking his head.
“I can handle them…and Darla wasn’t that hard to kill before.”
“Only because Peaches ran her through from behind! A Sire never expects her
childe to stake her.”
Buffy’s eyes lit up. “Then you kill Drusilla,” she said, feeling relieved
that they might have an advantage after all.
“What?” Spike asked, looking at her as if she was insane before shaking his
head. “No.”
“No?”
“I can’t do it, Slayer.”
“Can’t or won’t?” Buffy asked, trying to cover up the hurt feeling that was
welling up inside of her.
“Bit of both,” he replied, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Do you still love her, Spike?” she whispered quietly, feeling her heart
pounding in her chest while she waited for his answer.
“Buffy, she’s my sire.”
Her mind seemed to be warring against her at his lack of an answer.
‘Angel killed his sire for you.’
‘Angel had a soul.’
‘Spike says he loves you.’
‘He’s willing to let you face this alone.’
Visibly shaking her head to clear it of the disturbing thoughts, Buffy took
a step away from him. A move that did not go unnoticed by the blonde
vampire.
“Fine,” she murmured. “Do what you want.”
Gritting his teeth in frustration, Spike turned and headed for the door,
already searching his pockets for a pack of cigarettes.
Watching him leave, Buffy tried to fight the tears in her eyes- partly from
her pregnancy hormones and partly because the girl inside of her felt like
she was dying, knowing where Spike’s true loyalty lay. She knew it was
unfair to ask him to do this, but the nagging feeling inside of her wouldn’t
shut up.
“I’ll track them down,” she said softly when she noticed everyone’s eyes on
her.
“Are you okay?” Cordy asked quietly as she studied the other woman.
“Fine,” Buffy said in a tight voice. “Where are we as far as weapons?”
Gunn took a step back and pulled open a cabinet, watching as Buffy walked
over and grabbed a sword and a crossbow.
“I’ll find them. You three go make sure Angel is busy. The last thing I
need is to find the three of them together.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Wesley said, his brow furrowed as
he looked at his former Slayer.
“Maybe not, but it’s the plan,” Buffy replied, putting the weapons in an old
bag so she wouldn’t draw attention to herself walking through the streets of
L.A. Not like that many people would see anything out of the ordinary, even
if she did.
“How are we supposed to keep Angel busy?” Gunn asked.
“Tell him I’m pregnant with Spike’s child,” she said, hoisting the bag onto
her shoulder and walking toward the backdoor without a second look. “That
will hopefully keep his mind away from Darla for the night.”
Slamming the door behind her, the three sat in shock, each looking at the
other and wondering what they could do. Cordy finally stood up after a few
long moments and walked toward the front door, opening it to see Spike
staring out at the night sky and deeply inhaling on his cigarette.
“You’re an idiot,” Cordy said, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Why’s that, pet?” he asked, never looking in her direction.
“Because the woman you love asked you to do something and you just walk out
on her.”
“Do you have any idea what she asked of me?” he asked, spinning around to
face her.
“I was there. And I know exactly what it means to kill your sire. But I
can relate to a woman who thinks that the man she’s with…the man whose child
she’s carrying, doesn’t love her enough to keep her safe from someone who
just happens to be your sire.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Isn’t it?” Cordy asked in frustration. “That’s how a woman’s mind works,
Spike. And I would bet my new pair of Prada’s that she’s comparing you to
Angel right now.”
“What else is new?” he muttered, smashing the cigarette under his heel.
“She wants to be with you,” Cordelia said softly. “She chose you. The
Powers chose you to be the father of her child. Not Angel…you!”
“It was probably just a mistake,” he said softly, feeling his heart breaking
with the idea that Buffy might be questioning his love for her.
“Prophecies aren’t mistakes,” she said, studying the vampire.
“Sod off,” he muttered.
“Fine,” Cordy said with an edge to her voice. “I will. I’ll take my
coworkers and try and keep Angel distracted while your girlfriend goes off
to handle Darla and Drusilla all on her own and probably end up getting
herself killed in the process.”
Spike’s head immediately snapped up to face her. “What are you on about?”
“Buffy. She left.”
“What do you mean, left!? Where’d she go?” he asked frantically.
“I just told you. You didn’t really expect her to sit back and watch while
your psycho sire and her child/sire combo made happy meals of the entire
city now did you? I thought you knew Buffy. She would never let that happen.”
“She left already?”
Watching as she arched an eyebrow in reply, Spike suddenly felt a pressing
weight on his heart at the thought that he might lose her. “Which way?”
“Through the back. I don’t know where they are, but they’re probably
leaving a pretty big trail.”
By the time she finished talking, Spike was already gone.
Chapter 37 – Beyond Anger
Spike frantically scoured the city, trying to find any hint of where Buffy might
have gone. He couldn’t even catch her unique fragrance among so many other
scents that surrounded him, and it was only serving to fuel his anxiety.
Trying to call on the claim to find her, he growled in frustration when he
realized Buffy wasn’t answering to it. He should have been able to feel
something- anger, sadness, pain, but he couldn’t feel anything and the thought
that she might be in danger and he couldn’t get to her terrified him.
Finally realizing that it would be easier to find Darla and Drusilla, Spike
quickly made his way through the dark alleys, grabbing the first demon he saw
and proceeding to beat him up for the information he needed.
* * * * *
Walking into the factory, Buffy took a deep breath while she looked around.
It wasn’t too hard to find the place, considering Darla and Drusilla were
advertising where they were going to be holding their ‘auditions’ that
night.
Carefully extracting the sword from the bag, Buffy quietly made her way
through the factory, keeping her eyes trained on the shadows. Seeing one
move, she immediately swung the sword around, swallowing a gasp when her
wrist was caught in an iron-like vice grip.
“Angel?” she asked, panting heavily as she tried to make out his face in the
shadows.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, his lifeless eyes flickering with
something that could have been concern before resuming their cold
indifference.
“Trying to finish what you can’t,” she replied bravely, pulling her arm out
of his grasp.
“Who says I can’t?” Angel asked, turning when he heard the noises at the
side of the building.
“You’re here to kill them?” she whispered in disbelief.
Not answering, Angel merely motioned for her to stay behind him, not seeing
when Buffy rolled her eyes at his usual overprotective nature as they walked
through the factory, hearing the voices of the two females.
“Ten little soldiers, all in a line. A shot rings out,” Drusilla said,
clapping her hands together. “Down to nine.”
”Ten?” Darla replied. “I'd be happy if we could find three who can hack
it.”
Sliding the door open, Buffy watched as they walked in and looked at the
piles of dust and demon corpses that Buffy was just discovering for the
first time as well.
“Dead already?” Dru asked before pointing her finger at the bodies. “Bad
soldiers!”
Darla studied the carnage in front of her before looking around and seeing
Angel staring at her with an unflinching gaze.
“I should have known,” she said with a soft smile.
“A shadow,” Dru whispered, shaking her head and lifting her hand as if she
was trying to clear the image of who was in front of her.
“Why so far away, my love?” Darla asked, the smile never leaving her face.
“Why don't you come over here and... stake me?”
“Because that’s my job,” Buffy replied, leaving her hiding place and
swinging a sword at the blonde, narrowly missing her throat as Darla jumped
out of the way.
Carefully keeping an eye on Drusilla, Buffy noticed that Angel’s eyes were
also on the other blonde woman. Each recognizing who the real threat was
between the two but each becoming equally unnerved when Dru began cackling
and swaying behind Darla.
“Naughty naughty little Slayer,” she said with a laugh. “What will Daddy
say when he finds out?”
“Finds out what?” Angel asked with a growl.
Buffy felt her heartbeat speed up, looking between the three vampires,
hoping that she wouldn’t have to fight all of them.
“Finds out what?” he asked again as Drusilla slowly approached the Slayer.
“That your little ray of sunshine is going to have a little sunlight of her
own.”
A secretive smile formed on Darla’s face as she looked at the Slayer.
“Really?” she purred. “A pregnant Slayer. Well, that’s…rare.”
Buffy didn’t have to look at Angel to feel the anger radiating off of him.
She figured it would be in her best interest to keep an eye on the two
naturally evil vampires than worry about the mood swings of the man in the
room.
“Who’s the father?” Darla asked with a wide smile, enjoying Angel’s obvious
pain and wanting to throw the Slayer off her game as much as possible.
Buffy stayed quiet, her eyes on Drusilla as the raven-haired woman
approached her. Keeping a firm grip on her sword, she watched as the
vampire’s eyes widened before a scream erupted from her. Startled by the
sudden change, Buffy gasped when she felt the woman’s razor sharp
fingernails slice down her arm, leaving three deep cuts in their wake.
Flinching at the pain that radiated through her, Buffy reflexively grabbed
at her arm, swinging the sword in a defense maneuver instead of attacking.
She was vaguely aware of Angel jumping in front of her to stop Dru from
hurting her again.
Taking several deep breaths and trying to steady her pulse, she wasn’t even
aware of Darla as the other woman slammed her fist into Buffy’s jaw, sending
her crashing into the floor and the sword flying several feet away.
Buffy tried to back away, feeling the impending doom setting in seconds
before Darla exploded into dust. Buffy’s mouth dropped open in shock,
seeing Angel appear in front of her.
Watching his sire disintegrate for the second time by his hand, Angel
visibly seemed to wake up as if he’d been in a trance. “My God,” he
muttered, looking around the building before settling on the blonde Slayer
as she lay cradling her arm on the floor. “Are you okay?” he asked,
dropping to his knees next to Buffy and gently taking her arm in his hands.
“Where’s Drusilla?” Buffy asked, looking around the factory with
trepidation.
“I think she ran away,” Angel replied, glancing over his shoulder before
fixing his gaze back on the woman he loved. “Is it true?”
Avoiding his penetrating eyes, Buffy nodded. “It’s true,” she murmured,
feeling Angel tense next to her.
“And the father?”
“I really don’t want to tell you.”
This did nothing to settle his fears. “Tell me, Buffy,” he said softly.
Finally raising her eyes to his, Buffy was relieved to see the Angel that
she knew and not the shadow of the man he was just moments ago. “Who could
possibly cause that reaction from Drusilla?”
Angel seemed to think for a moment before his features hardened. “No,” he
said, shaking his head. “It’s impossible…he’s a vampire…soulless, and…and
it’s impossible.”
“It’s a prophecy.”
“But…but that would mean…”
Angel trailed off when he saw the tears shimmering in her eyes.
“…it is true,” he finished, feeling his heart sink in his chest.
“He loves me,” she whispered, finally letting the tears spill over. “Just…”
“What?” Angel asked, trying to get over his own emotions and offer Buffy the
support and comfort that she was obviously craving.
“I’ll just never be enough for him,” she said in a choked voice.
“Buffy,” he whispered, feeling her pain radiating through to him before
taking her in his arms and gently stroking her hair as she cried.
Folded safely in the familiar embrace, Buffy never felt the presence behind
her.
“Well…isn’t this sweet.”
Pulling away, Buffy quickly wiped the tears that were streaking down her
cheeks before clutching her arm as she got to her feet. Taking a deep
breath and turning around, she could feel the blood trickling through her
fingers and dripping on the floor.
“Don’t worry,” she said with contempt plainly visible in her eyes when she
saw his eyes briefly flicker to the pile of dust on the floor. “Your
precious Dru got away.”
Seeing the blood falling freely to the filthy floor and the obvious pain in
her eyes when she walked past him, Spike wanted nothing more than to take
her in his arms and reassure himself that she was okay as he turned to walk
after her.
“Buffy-”
“And do me a favor,” she said, spinning around to face him. “Do not
follow
me!”
Chapter 38 – Tough Love
Both men stared at the door for several long moments after Buffy walked
through it, each trying to ignore the presence of the other man in the room.
“Did you do something to her?” Angel asked in a low voice, never looking at his
grandchilde.
“What?” Spike replied through clenched teeth, looking at the other man.
“I want the truth.”
“No! I didn’t do a bloody thing to her! I was her friend. I was there for
her when no one else was.”
“You claimed her…didn’t you?” Angel asked, finally making eye contact with
Spike.
“I never did anything that she didn’t want me to do."
Physically restraining himself from hitting the other man, Angel took an
unneeded breath.
Both stayed quiet for a moment before Angel finally sighed in defeat. “Do
you know where she’s going?”
“My guess,” Spike said miserably. “Back to your hotel.”
“Why do you think that?” Angel asked, looking back at the door.
“Because,” he replied with a sigh. “It’s the one place she thinks that I
won’t look for her.”
Chuckling to himself, Angel nodded. “That sounds about right.” Seeing the
heartbroken look on Spike’s face, he finally relented. “Give me a few
hours. I’ll talk to her…come by before sunrise.”
Looking at his grandsire in surprise, Spike’s brow knit together. “You’re
helping me?” he asked skeptically.
“No,” Angel replied, shaking his head. “I’m helping her.”
“Fair enough,” Spike muttered. “Oh, I almost forgot…”
Slamming his fist into the other man’s jaw, a smile of satisfaction came over
his face as Angel’s hand flew up to pop his jaw back into place.
“What the hell was that for?” he yelled, ready to attack the blonde.
“No one hurts my girl and gets away with it.”
* * * * *
Knowing that Buffy was in the basement working off her tension, in spite of
the damage to her arm, Angel decided to leave her alone for most of the
night, not wanting to be on the receiving end of one of her tantrums or
worse…one of her punches.
Realizing that the sun would be rising in less than an hour, he slowly made
his way down the stairs, seeing Buffy stretching on one of the mats.
“Hi,” he said softly as he sat down.
“Hey,” she whispered, not making eye contact with him as she rolled her
shoulders, wincing at the pain in her arm.
“I don’t like him,” he said, deciding to jump right into the conversation,
noticing that Buffy’s posture went rigid at the vague mention of Spike. “I
doubt I ever will,” he continued. “But…when he loves someone, he doesn’t
let go. And if he says he loves you…if he’s claimed you…he loves you.”
“And because of that…he must love Drusilla in the same way.”
“Buffy, I love…I’ve loved you. Trust me when I say that loving you compares
to nothing else that I’ve felt in over two hundred years.”
Silent tears fell from Buffy’s eyes as she tried to quickly wipe them away.
“But you’re not Spike,” she whispered. “I just…I don’t know how he feels
about her and…”
“Everything will be fine,” Angel said, standing up and affectionately
running his hand over her silky hair.
“I’m going to get some sleep. I think I’ve got some groveling to look
forward to tomorrow night and I’ll need all the rest I can get.”
Offering him a weak smile, Buffy stared straight ahead for several minutes
after Angel had gone. Taking a deep breath to get her emotions under
control, she finally stood and stretched her arms a little bit as she walked
toward the punching bag, ignoring the twinge of pain as her bandaged arm
protested. She had too much nervous energy to sit still and she was willing
to live with a little bit of pain.
Tensing up slightly when she felt his presence after a few minutes, Buffy
didn’t bother to turn around. Knowing that he was approaching, her back
stiffened even more and she practically attacked the bag, fighting every
impulse inside of her that was telling her to turn around and take out her
frustration on the source.
“I don’t know if that’s good for the baby, luv,” Spike said quietly after a
moment. He was merely testing the waters since he already knew that she was
aware of him.
Never stopping her assault on the punching bag, Buffy finally spoke to him
in a strained voice, “Mystical pregnancy, remember? Poison obviously isn’t
supposed to hurt it, so I’m thinking a little physical exertion is fine.”
“And what about your arm?” he murmured.
“It’s fine,” she replied in a low voice, adding an extra kick to the bag for
good measure.
Sitting down on a nearby bench, Spike clasped his hands in front of him as
he watched her move, never getting tired of seeing her in her semi-natural
element. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, noticing that she didn’t even pause
in her movements.
“Me too,” she replied flippantly, making it perfectly clear that she was
sorry for what he’d put her through and she wasn’t sorry for asking him to
stake his sire.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Spike said, studying her every movement.
“I doubt that.”
“You’re thinking that if Angel was able to stake his sire twice, why
couldn’t I?”
“No,” she said through gritted teeth, finally turning around to face him
before tearing her eyes away and walking toward the stairs, angrily ripping
the tape off her hands and throwing it on the floor. “I’m thinking…that
because I love you so damn much, I wish they would have killed me. At least
then it would be easier than having to live with this feeling that I will
never be able to measure up to her!”
Spike sat in stunned silence, trying to wrap his mind around everything
Buffy had just told him. The ‘I love you’ was practically burning through
him before he realized everything else she’d said. Easily catching up to
her, Spike grabbed her arm to spin her around, noticing the tears that were
streaming down her face. “There is no ‘measuring up’,” he reassured her
quietly, pulling her against his chest as she began to sob. “I can live
without her. I’ve done fine for years. But if anything happened to you…I
would have to stake myself because I can’t bear the thought of being
without you.”
Closing his eyes as he held her and gently stroked her hair, Spike let a low
rumbling reverberate through his chest. He was trying to do everything he could
to settle the distraught woman in his arms.
“I love you,” he whispered, feeling her shoulders gently shake with the soft
admission as she buried her head even further into his chest.
He felt tears burn his eyes as he listened to her sobs before barely making
out the whisper, “I love you, Spike.”
“I’m so sorry, Buffy,” he whispered. “I never wanted to put you through that.
You mean everything to me…I just wish I could go back and prove how much I love
you.” Pulling back to look at her, Spike tenderly ran his hand along her cheek.
“If she ever shows her face near me, she’s dust.”
“You mean it?” she murmured, unable to believe what he was telling her.
Kissing her forehead, Spike back away to look at her. “No one hurts my girl and
gets away with it.”
Chapter 39 – Talking it Out
“What happens now?” Buffy murmured, her head pillowed on Spike’s chest as he
soothingly ran his fingers through her silky hair.
“Now,” he whispered quietly, slowly moving to get into a better position on
the bed. “We could always let Peaches know that we’ve made up,” he said
with a devilish little smirk, raising an eyebrow when Buffy turned to look
at him.
“You’re evil,” she said with a smile.
“You know it, baby.”
Lowering her head back to his chest, Buffy let her fingernails trail along
the defined muscles of his abdomen. “I really need to tell Giles,” she
whispered quietly, her eyes closing in exhaustion.
“That can wait,” he whispered, doing what he could to help her relax and get
some
rest.
Buffy smiled when she felt his hands gently run along here shoulders and down
her back, sending shivers down her spine. “Spike, I’m pregnant with a vampire’s
baby. I think he needs to know.”
“You sleep,” he said softly. “I’ll call him in a few minutes.”
Turning to look at him, Buffy arched an eyebrow in his direction. “Why do I
not see that conversation going over well?”
Spike merely smirked in response.
* * * * *
“Yeah, Watcher, it’s me,” Spike said into the phone, looking at Buffy’s
sleeping form as she unconsciously continued to seek him out in her sleep.
“Just thought I’d call to tell you that I knocked her up,” he said with a
smile, holding the phone away from his ear when Giles began yelling about
the ‘bluntness of his approach’ and ‘even vampires have the ability to have
tact’.
Chuckling for a moment, Spike finally put the receiver back to his ear when
Giles moderately calmed down.
“Do what you can. We’ll be home soon. And Giles,” he added in a serious
voice. “Buffy really needs you to be okay with this,” he said quietly,
listening intently to Buffy’s heartbeat and ensuring that she wasn’t
beginning to wake up.
“Don’t worry,” Giles replied with a sigh. “I had resigned myself to the
fact that it was probably her. I’ll let everyone know- you just make sure
she gets plenty of rest and absolutely no patrolling.”
A pang of guilt coursed through Spike as he remembered Buffy going off to
face Darla and Drusilla alone and nearly getting killed in the process. “No
worries,” he muttered before hanging up the phone.
Contemplating the woman on the bed for a moment, he removed his shirt as
he slowly walked over and sat on the edge, studying her.
Her blonde hair fell in soft curls around her shoulders and spilled around
the pillow. Dressed in his red button-down shirt, Spike smiled when she
appeared to be snuggling into it, wanting to remain close to him even when
he wasn’t right next to her. Slowly moving his gaze downward, he moved
forward to gently push the shirt up over her stomach, ignoring his
ever-present desire for her when he saw the thong she was wearing before
focusing his attention on her belly.
Brushing his fingertips along the flat muscles that he encountered, Spike
smiled with the knowledge that their child was in there. So lost in
thought, he never even noticed when Buffy’s heartbeat began to pick up and
her eyes open.
Laying still for a moment, Buffy smiled when she saw the look of pure
adoration on his face. “What are you thinking?” she asked softly, tilting
her head and giving him a soft smile when his eyes rose to meet hers.
“That I’m the luckiest man in the world,” he said with a smile, crawling up
the bed to lay down next to her. Propping his head up on one hand as the
other continued to trail along the expanse of her stomach, both lay quietly,
each enjoying the rare sense of peace that they were feeling.
“Did you call Giles?” Buffy asked after a moment.
“Yeah,” he murmured.
“And?”
“He wasn’t that surprised. Said that he’d assumed it was you for a while
now, but absolutely no patrolling.”
Buffy groaned, letting her head roll back against the pillow. “What does he
expect me to do? I’m the Slayer, it’s not like I can just take a nine-month
vacation from all things slayage.”
“I’ll do it,” Spike said, not giving it a second thought as he watched his
hand run along her abdomen.
Slowly pushing herself into a sitting position, Buffy gently turned him to
face her. “You will?”
“You didn’t really think I would let you go out there risking your neck
every night, did you?” he asked.
“I-I don’t know what I thought. I just never imagined…”
“What?” Spike asked with more irritation than he intended. “That I would
want to do everything I could to keep you alive?”
“That’s not what I meant,” Buffy said, catching his arm when he tried to get
out of bed.
Quickly straddling his waist, she left a long, lingering kiss on his lips,
relaxing when she felt his hands slip under her shirt and run the length of
her back to hold her as close as possible.
Pulling away breathlessly, Buffy pressed her forehead to his before
speaking. “I just didn’t expect you to voluntarily go out and kill your own
kind.”
“I’ve been doing it for a while, luv,” he reminded her, keeping his tone
soft so she wouldn’t get worried that he was going to up and leave.
“I know,” she murmured, leaning back and watching her hands trace patterns
along his bare chest. “But I was always with you and I just didn’t think…”
Pulling her to him for a tender kiss, Spike let his lips gently brush along
hers for a moment that was too short for both of them. “I’m going to keep
you safe, Slayer.”
Seeing the pout form on her bottom lip, Spike had to chuckle. “What did I
say now?”
“You called me ‘Slayer’,” she muttered good-naturedly.
Quickly flipping them over on the bed, he felt his heart tighten when he
heard her faint giggle. “Forgive me, Goldilocks,” he murmured, pressing a
kiss to her shoulder. “Sweetheart,” he continued, kissing her neck.
“Buffy,” he whispered, sinking his blunt teeth into her throat, directly
over his previous marks and moaning when she automatically thrust against
him, craving his touch.
* * * * *
Screaming out her climax, Spike had to smile as he continued to plunge into
her with bruising force. Her hips eagerly met his, already feeling her
second orgasm begin to wash over her.
Not saying a word, Buffy grabbed the back of his neck, seeking relief from
the mounting tension. “I need it, Spike,” she moaned. Sensing his demon
come forth, she frantically pulled him closer to her, craving his touch.
Feeling Spike’s fangs slice into her neck as his hips continued to move with
hers, Buffy’s nails dragged along his back and arms, crying out with sheer
relief as her muscles practically strangled his cock. Loosening her grip on
the back of his neck, Buffy let her fingers play in the soft curls as she
gently kissed his shoulder. “I love you,” she whispered, smiling when he
moaned her name and immediately began pulsing inside of her.
Staying still for a long moment, Buffy listened to him gasp for air and her
smile widened.
“I thought you didn’t need to breathe,” she said in a soft voice.
Pulling back to look at her, Spike pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.
“Anytime I’m inside of you, pet, I think it’s safe to say that it’s damn
near impossible not to.”
Blushing and looking away, Spike couldn’t help but chuckle at how adorable
she was.
“I’m inside you right now, but you blush when I say the words?”
Avoiding his gaze for a moment, Buffy trembled in pleasure and contentment
when she felt his finger under her chin, tilting her head up to look at him.
“What’s wrong?” he asked in concern, moving off of her but never letting
his arms break contact with her body as he pulled her over to him.
“Nothing,” she said with a reassuring smile, snuggling into his chest and
sighing in contentment. “Nothing at all.”
Kissing the top of her head, Spike let his eyes drift shut before a slow
smile spread along his lips. “Looks like Angel knows we’ve made up, after
all.”
“Oh no, I completely forgot,” Buffy gasped, looking up at Spike with wide
eyes as he began chuckling.
“Don’t worry, luv,” he said with a smile. “He would never hurt the father
of his great-grandchild.”
“What are you talking about?” she asked as Spike raised an eyebrow at her.
“He’s my grandsire, meaning that my child-”
“Is his great-grandchild,” Buffy finished, her eyes widening. “Oh my God,
that is so demented,” she said, closing her eyes and laying down as Spike’s
laughter rang out through the room.
Chapter 40 – Cost of a Choice
A/N Some of this dialogue belongs to Mere Smith and Joss Whedon- I’m simply borrowing it.
6 Months Later
“What are you doing?” Buffy asked, looking down at Spike’s head as he
pressed his ear to her swollen abdomen.
“What does it look like?” he retorted, looking up at her with a smile as she
affectionately ruffled his hair.
“Can you hear the baby?” she asked, giving him such a tender look that he
could have sworn he felt his heart beating.
“I can,” he murmured, sitting up to tuck a loose tendril of hair behind her
ear. “She’s moving a lot.”
“We don’t know if it’s a girl, Spike,” Buffy said.
Spike merely shrugged. “My opinion. And she’s going to be just like her
mum.”
Buffy smiled as she pushed herself to her feet and unconsciously placed her
hands on her belly.
“Where are we going, luv?” Spike asked, standing with her, his brow
furrowing in concern.
“I just need to stretch,” she said with a soft smile, rotating her arms and
walking toward the door.
“Outside?” Spike asked skeptically, feeling a sense of déjà vu wash over him
as an uneasy feeling crept up his spine.
“What’s wrong?”
“You said you wouldn’t patrol anymore,” he reminded her.
Buffy sighed, remembering how her mother and each one of her friends had
repeatedly lectured her over the past few months, ever since they found out
she was pregnant- and the initial shock had worn off.
“Did I say I was going to patrol?” Buffy asked, a little bit of irritation
creeping into her voice before turning and walking up the stairs.
“Buffy…”
Turning around when she was halfway up, she saw Spike’s worried gaze as he
followed her every step of the way. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I know
I’m being irritable lately. I’m just going to go change and I’ll be right
back down.”
Seeing the soft smile that graced his features before he turned back to the
living room, Buffy sighed in contentment before turning around. Not paying
enough attention, she gasped when her foot slipped on the hardwood, sending
her flying backwards. She never even had time to realize what happened as
everything went black.
* * * * *
“Buffy? Buffy!” Spike shouted, cradling her bruised body against his.
“I’m okay,” she said, pulling herself into a sitting position and frowning
when she looked around her living room, still hearing Spike’s voice calling
her name. “Spike?”
Turning around as she stood, Buffy gasped when she saw herself being held
against the man she loved. Panic began to flow through her as she stared at
her limp form before looking down and making sure that she was still
attached to her body- in one form or another.
“Your heart’s beating,” she heard him murmur to himself as he listened
intently to her. “And the baby’s is, too.”
Gently picking her up in his arms, Spike slowly moved her to the couch
before running for the phone and pressing the button to dial her Watcher.
Seeing a shadow circle the room, she tried to make herself snap out of the
shock she was in before gasping when a huge demon materialized in front of
her.
Immediately throwing her fist into his face, Buffy groaned when her
non-corporeal hand went right through him.
“I’m Skip,” he said, ignoring the punch and laughing when Buffy’s eyes
widened in shock at his cordial nature.
“Who are you? What the hell is going on?!”
“You have questions. I get that. And I'll answer them, too, but first we got
to get out of here.”
“But why? Here is good. I feel really comfortable here. I-I like here.”
“But you see, there is a slight problem- you don't belong here anymore.”
“Am I dead?” Buffy asked in apprehension.
“Not yet,” he replied. “But you will be very soon…unless you come with me.”
Glancing at Spike and seeing him reassuring Giles on the phone that there
was no sign of damage, aside from her being unconscious, Buffy hesitantly
turned back to the demon.
“I don't wanna die,” she whispered.
“So don't.”
Swallowing her doubts, Buffy took his hand, gasping when the world seemed to
spin before they ended up at the very empty Bronze.
“What are we doing here?” she asked, looking around the area and seeing a
television set up in the corner.
Following Skip as he walked toward it, Buffy frowned when she saw a pregnant
Darla lying in an alley with Angel holding her hand. Their lips moved, but
no sound could be heard.
“What is this?” Buffy asked, looking at the demon.
“This is the way it should have been…that was the baby that’s meant to be
born.”
“What do you want me to do about it?” she asked, shrugging her shoulders and
trying not to show how nervous she was with the unfamiliar situation.
“We want you to make it right. We want to start over.”
“Start over?”
“Correct things that should never have taken place.”
“Like what?” Buffy asked skeptically.
“You weren’t supposed to lose your hearing,” he said plainly.
“And why are you telling me this? Can’t the Powers that Whatever just fold
the fabric of time and send me back if that’s the way it’s supposed to be?”
“They can. But it has to be your request.”
“What changes?” she asked, wanting to hear what he had to say, knowing that
it would be impossible for her to let go of this life. “What’s in the other
‘reality’ that needs to happen?”
“I can’t tell you,” Skip replied, shaking his head.
“So show me,” she replied, gesturing toward the TV. “You expect me to just
go along with this without having any idea what I’m going up against? I
don’t think so.”
With a sigh, Skip turned toward the monitor, snapping his fingers and letting
the image of a pretty brunette eating Jell-O take up the screen. “You would get
a sister,” he said vaguely as Buffy watched the girl speaking with her in what
must have been an alternate reality.
“I would get a sister?” Buffy asked in disbelief.
“A girl who you were meant to protect.”
Buffy folded her arms over her chest, narrowing her eyes. “And why would
this take place in a ‘different’ reality and not take place in this one?”
“Because you weren’t strong enough to protect her in this one. You were
vulnerable at the time that she was meant to be brought to you. She was
turned into something else in this reality, but she was formerly a ball of
energy for you to protect or else it would cause the end of the world.”
“And apparently she’s fine, ‘cause hey, no apocalypse. What else would
change?”
“Just…little things,” he said vaguely.
“And why do I not believe you?” Buffy asked, her jaw tightening. “What do I
lose?”
“Why do you think you’d lose something?”
“I’m not making a decision until I know exactly what I’m walking into,” she
said, looking back at the screen and frowning when she saw her mother lying
in a hospital bed as she and her ‘sister’ sat beside her, talking and
obviously trying to be cheerful.
Looking around in confusion, Buffy focused her gaze back on the demon.
“What’s going on?” she asked. “Mom’s sick? If she is, why wouldn’t she be
sick now?”
Quickly snapping his fingers to erase the images that she wasn’t supposed to
see, Skip could tell the Slayer wasn’t going to back down. “Because the
energy that was used to ‘create’ your sister, would have affected her in a
not-so-positive way,” he mumbled in a low voice.
“So let me get this straight,” Buffy said slowly. “I would get a ball of
energy as my sister, my mother would be sick and I wouldn’t be having this
baby?”
“No. That prophecy would be designed for a different Slayer. You’re not
meant to have this baby, and if you continue this pregnancy to full term,
you’ll die.”
“Apparently this baby is meant for me,” she snapped, choosing to ignore
his
last statement for the time being. “Considering the baby is inside me right
now.”
“You have to realize that because of the temporal shift, the ‘imbalance’ if
you will, things were put in place that shouldn’t have been.”
“I wouldn’t be with Spike,” she murmured in comprehension, raising an
eyebrow.
“I can’t tell you that. It could very well be what happens.”
“But not in the relationship that I have now,” Buffy said with an
understanding nod. “I don’t have to be a genius to figure it out. I’d find
out that he loves me and I’d use him. I remember my exact feelings toward
him before I lost my hearing. So my answer is no.”
“Did you not hear what I just said?” Skip asked in confusion. “If you keep
this baby, you’re going to die.”
“I’m going to die anyway,” Buffy said with a resigned smile as she shook her
head. “At least this way, my death will have a purpose. I’m not going to
give up whatever precious time that I have with the man I love to go back
and be the person I was supposed to be. I like the person that I am now. I
have a purpose. I have a child who means more to me than anything and I
will not trade this baby for any promises that you might want to give me.”
“I respect what you're trying to do. It's noble and heroic, and all that
other Russell Crowe 'Gladiator' crap.”
“You've seen…”
“Didn't love it. The fact remains that you’re not strong enough to have this
baby! Period. I can’t change that.”
“Then don’t,” she replied quietly. “I know my purpose in this world and it
includes this baby. My answer is no.”
Skip sighed, looking at the stubborn Slayer for a long moment. “It was an
honor being your guide, Buffy Summers.”
Buffy gasped when a blue light seemed to explode around her before she
bolted upright, looking around frantically and seeing that she was sitting
on her couch.
“Buffy!”
Feeling herself enveloped in a strong embrace, she clutched at Spike as if
he were her lifeline.
“Are you okay?” he asked, pulling away to look at her, his hands cupping her
cheeks as he stared at her.
“I’m fine,” she said, offering him a weak smile.
“Giles is on his way. I…I didn’t know what to do,” he said in a choked
voice.
“Spike, I’m okay,” she whispered, pressing a tender kiss to his lips and
fighting the tears that were burning her eyes. Now was not the time to tell
him about the newest revelation in her life.
Chapter 41 – Breaking the News
Buffy sat at the dining room table, wringing her hands together as she
nervously looked from her mother to Giles and finally Spike. The shock and
disbelief was plainly visible on all of their faces, and Buffy was suddenly
feeling guilty for not keeping this little bit of news to herself. These
people were her family and she didn’t expect them to take the news of her
impending death lightly, but the silence that hung in the air was making her
more uneasy.
“No,” Spike finally said, standing up and angrily shoving his chair away
before walking to the window and staring blankly outside. She could hear
the emotion coating the single word and another piece of her heart felt like
it was being chipped away as she watched the man she loved.
Slowly getting up from the table, Buffy walked over to the blonde and gently
ran her hand along his back, doing what she could to soothe him.
“Spike?” she whispered, wishing that he would turn around and face her.
“I just got you, Buffy,” he said in such a soft voice she almost didn’t hear
him, never tearing his eyes away from the view of her front yard. “I can’t
lose you now…not when…”
Hearing the tears in his voice, Buffy left her hand gently resting on his
back before she turned around when she heard her mother’s voice.
“Isn’t there anything we can do?” Joyce asked tearfully.
“I know this isn’t the news you were expecting, but this baby is so
important. I need your help getting through this,” she whispered in a
choked voice. Seeing the tears streaming down her mother’s cheeks and Giles
hiding his watery eyes all while feeling Spike’s pain was nearly her
undoing.
“No, you don’t,” Spike said, turning around to see the shocked face of the
woman he loved.
“What?”
“You’re not dying, Slayer,” he said with a hard edge to his voice that left
little room for argument.
“Spike-”
“Don’t you remember what the green guy said?” he asked in exasperation,
recalling their visit to Los Angeles several months ago.
“Lorne?”
“He said not to trust anyone toward the end.”
“He said not to take someone’s advice,” Buffy replied gently, running her
hand along his cheek. “I didn’t. I’m still here. I chose death over being
able to live everything again and I think it’s the right decision.”
“No, it bloody well isn’t!” Spike shouted, angrily swatting her hand away
and vaguely noticing her Watcher and mother standing up as he advanced on
Buffy, his emotions overwrought and taking control. “This wasn’t just your
decision to make! There are other people, other factors to consider,” he
said through clenched teeth, gesturing toward Giles and Joyce. “Did you not
think of what losing you would do to us? Your friends, your family…me?” he
finished in a soft whisper, his eyes reflecting the amount of pain he was
feeling.
“Spike,” she said softly, trying to get through to him. “If the decision
belonged to everyone, the demon wouldn’t have expelled me from my own body
to try and make a deal with me. He would have involved the people I love.”
“Not if he’s trying to trick you!”
“If he was, I didn’t fall for it,” she said gently, looking directly into
his eyes.
“Spike,” Giles finally spoke up, slowly approaching the grief-stricken
vampire. “We need to calm down and think rationally about this.”
“What am I supposed to do?” Spike asked, spinning around angrily to face
Giles. “Am I supposed to choose between my child and the woman I love?”
“No,” Buffy said quietly, causing his eyes to immediately settle on her.
Seeing Giles gently take Joyce by the arm and quietly slip out of the room,
she continued, “Because it’s not your decision.”
“Buffy-”
“Spike, I love you,” she whispered, her voice shaking as more tears came to
her eyes, letting her hand caress his cheek. “I will always love you. But
this is what I have to do.”
“No,” he said quietly, shaking his head. “No, it’s not. It’s madness.
They can’t expect you to willingly sacrifice yourself so this baby can be
born.”
“But I am,” she said softly. “They can expect it because it’s what I’m
doing. Spike, if my death means that our baby can be born and live to save
the world…then I’m dying for the best possible cause.”
“I can’t lose you,” he whispered.
“We knew this would happen,” she said, trying to control her tears. “It’s
just a little faster than we expected. But you’ll go on…you’ll live.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head as tears streamed down his cheeks. “I
won’t. I can’t, not without you.”
“You will,” she whispered, taking his hand in hers. “You have to protect
our child. You have to protect her…I need you to live on. I need you to
make sure she’s safe…you have to.”
Wrapping his arms around her, Spike clung to the woman he loved as a choked
sob was ripped from his throat. For the first time since her pregnancy, he
took little care with her, holding on with such force that Buffy could feel
the desperation he was feeling seep into her.
“I love you so much,” she murmured, feeling her own tears spill over as her
hand ran along the soft hair at the back of his neck, trying to relax him as
much as she could. “You have to be strong for me, Spike…will you do that
for me?”
Pulling away to look at her with glistening eyes, Spike nodded. “I will,”
he whispered, running his hands along her face and arms, reassuring himself
that she was still there. That she wasn’t gone. “I love you.”
Resting her forehead against his, Buffy sighed, closing her eyes and
reveling in the few precious moments of contentment they were allowed to
share.
“You said ‘her’,” he said softly after a moment, causing Buffy to look at
him with a look of curiosity.
“What?”
“The baby…you said ‘her’.”
Snuggling into his arms again, she smiled. “I figured it has to be a
girl…you’re so adamant about it that I’m sure you wouldn’t have it any
other way.”
She could practically feel Spike smile as he nodded. “I always get what I
want,” he said softly, sighing when Buffy pulled him even closer.
Chapter 42 – Prophecy Girl
Solemnly watching as a nurse fluttered around the room, checking equipment
and making notes on a clipboard, Spike ran his hand over his eyes, pinching
the bridge of his nose. Seeing Buffy biting her bottom lip out of the
corner of his eye, he wordlessly reached out and grabbed her hand, waiting
to be alone with her.
At nearly nine months pregnant, Buffy had woken up that morning with the
feeling of water gushing from her and a sense of hope and remorse warring
inside of her. It had been the shortest few months of her life. It was decided
that Willow, Xander, Tara, and Anya shouldn’t know of the complications in her
pregnancy, leaving Buffy to say goodbye to them in her own private way.
After a short discussion, Giles, Joyce and Spike had decided that Spike
would move into the Summers’ house, being there for Buffy and having Joyce’s
support with the baby…after.
Buffy had somberly listened to the plans involving the birth of her child
and had stayed quiet throughout the discussions. Her only request was that
they not decorate the nursery. She didn’t think she could remain strong if
she walked by the room everyday and was constantly reminded that she
couldn’t be a part of what comes next.
She had spent numerous hours with Giles and Joyce, but the majority of her
time was spent with Spike, trying to forget that she didn’t have much longer
with him. He had been her pillar of support when she thought she would
crack, always helping her forget…until today.
Lying in a hospital bed, Buffy watched the nurse leave the room and stared
at the doctor who entered, telling her that everything looked good and she
should be ready to push within the hour.
Seeing the distressed look on Spike’s face, Buffy tightened her hold on his
hand before turning back to the doctor.
“Can we have a minute?” she asked the doctor.
Seeing the need in the young woman’s eyes, he nodded and left the room,
shutting the door behind him.
Both stayed quiet for several long moments, staring at their clasped hands
and not knowing what to say.
“I don’t know how this works,” Buffy whispered, finally raising her eyes to
his. “I don’t know if I’ll even get to see her.”
“Don’t,” he murmured, his voice laced with pain.
“I have to,” she replied softly. “I need you to know how much I love you,
Spike.”
“Buffy-”
“Please,” she whispered tearfully. “Please tell me that you know that I
love you.”
Slowly nodding, Spike closed his eyes against the tears. “I know, luv.”
“I’ve said goodbye to everyone,” she said quietly, feeling his body tighten
as if it was trying to ward off what she was about to say. “But I don’t
know how to say goodbye to you.”
“Then don’t,” he whispered, tears falling freely as he watched her. “Fight
it. Don’t give in to this- you’re better than that.”
“It’s what I have to do, Spike. You’ll be a wonderful father,” she said
with a watery smile. “A year ago, I wouldn’t have believed any of this,
but…but it was meant to happen.”
“I don’t want to do this without you,” he pleaded with her, bringing her
hand to his lips and pressing a tender kiss to the back of it. “I don’t
think I can do this without you.”
“You can,” she said with a nod, hoping her voice was sounding somewhat
reassuring. “You’ll have plenty of help. Mom and Giles trust you and
they’ll be there to help with everything.”
“I want you there.”
“I will be,” she murmured, feeling her stomach dropping with emotion. “I’ll
always be with you.”
He couldn’t believe that these might be his last few moments with the woman
he loved. Her heartbeat was so strong- he couldn’t imagine it fading away
in the course of a few minutes or hours.
“You love me?” she asked tearfully.
“Since I first saw you,” he said in a choked voice. “I’ve never loved
anyone more.”
Tears continued to stream down his cheeks as he ran a hand over her stomach,
feeling the baby move in response to the light pressure. Staring at her
belly for a moment, Spike closed his eyes, tightening his jaw when his
thoughts drifted.
“You should have staked me when you had the chance,” he said in agony.
“What are you talking about?” Buffy asked, looking at him with a shocked
expression.
“It’s my fault…if we’d never…”
“Spike,” she whispered, running her hand along his cheek. “If it wasn’t for
you, we wouldn’t have this,” she said, putting her other hand on top of his
as the baby moved. “We truly created a miracle together,” she said with a
smile. “No regrets.”
Nodding slightly, Spike’s jaw tightened as he tried to fight against his
emotions. “No regrets,” he murmured, closing his eyes against the pain.
* * * * *
“One more push, Buffy,” the doctor said in an excited voice.
Meeting Spike’s gaze, Buffy squeezed his hand before closing her eyes in
pain as she gave a final push. Letting her head fall against the pillow in
relief, she gasped for air, feeling the tears streaming down her cheeks as
the baby’s cry rang out through the room.
“It’s a girl,” the doctor said with a smile, placing her on Buffy’s stomach
while they clamped the umbilical cord.
Seeing Spike gazing in wonder at their daughter, she felt her eyes drifting
shut in exhaustion.
“Buffy?”
“Yeah,” she murmured weakly, opening her eyes and seeing the nurses weighing
her daughter and cleaning her as much as they could.
“See?” he said with a hopeful smile, keeping his voice low so it wouldn’t
carry in the huge room. “Everything’s fine.”
But it wasn’t.
Buffy could feel the pain weighing her down. She could feel her heartbeat
slowing and seeing the panicked look on Spike’s face, she knew he could
sense it, too.
Catching a glimpse of the baby girl as they wheeled her out of the room and
toward the nursery, the doctor motioned to her that he would be back in a
moment, leaving them alone.
“We did it,” she murmured, her eyes already becoming heavy.
“Buffy…”
Spike trailed off, listening intently to her heart and hearing the slow,
rhythmic pace as it slowed to half the speed that it should have been.
“I love you,” she whispered, feeling the exhaustion take over.
“No,” Spike said, shaking his head. “No! Don’t you do it! Damn it, Buffy,
don’t you leave me!” Grabbing her hand in both of his, Spike felt his
resolve crumbling as he began crying. “You can’t,” he said in a choked
whisper. “You can’t leave me.”
He felt his heart shatter when her heartbeat faded away, leaving a void of
nothing in its wake.
“No!”
Tears streamed down his face as he held her hand, clutching at the last link
that he had to the woman he loved.
“I love you too much,” he whispered, his shoulders shaking with his sobs.
“Please, Buffy. I can’t do this without you…I can’t go on without you.”
“Well, you don’t have to be all dramatic about it.”
Slowly raising his eyes at the sound of the soft voice, Spike’s eyes widened
when he saw the green eyes staring back at him. Listening frantically for a
heartbeat, his mouth dropped open when he didn’t hear one. “W-what’s going
on?”
“I guess somebody up there likes me,” she whispered, bringing his hands over
her stomach and resting her other hand on top of them and letting her eyes
close again, still drained from the earlier ordeal.
“B-but how? You’re alive, but I don’t hear anything.”
“I don’t know,” she said weakly, needing more rest than her short death
allowed.
Spinning around when he heard the soft knock on the door, Spike looked at
Joyce’s worried expression as she stared at her quiet daughter.
“Is she-”
“I…she…you better tell Giles to come in,” Spike said, feeling a sense of
relief and gratitude wash over him.
* * * * *
Two hours later, Buffy’s hospital room was filled with her friends and
family. Xander and Willow stood in shock while Giles recounted what had
transpired over the past few months.
Buffy and Spike only listened with half an ear as they stared at their
daughter, cocooned safely in Buffy’s arms. Spike was settled next to her on
the bed, his arms wrapped around his girls as he smiled at the baby who
opened her large blue eyes and stared at them in wonder, seconds before she
began fussing for milk.
Offering her the bottle that the hospital supplied, Buffy looked up at the
sound of the door opening and had to smile when Lorne walked in.
“Make way, make way,” he announced, his eyes settling on the happy family.
“Look at this picture,” he said with a smile, opening his arms as if he
wanted to hug all of them. “Isn’t that the most perfect thing you’ve ever
seen?”
Seeing Angel walk in behind Lorne, Buffy offered him a tentative smile
before turning her attention back to the baby.
“A little birdie told me that you need some help figuring out what mystical
occurrence has happened now,” Lorne said, walking closer to the bed. “Sing
for me, sugar.”
Glancing around the room, Buffy’s gaze settled back on the tiny bundle
before a soft smile played on her face.
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are
gray. You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my
sunshine away.”
All eyes were on the green demon when Buffy finished the short verse.
Spike’s hold on her tightened, preparing himself for what was to come.
“Well, it’s fairly simple,” Lorne began, glancing around the room. “The
baby is immortal.”
“Excuse me?” Buffy asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.
“Well, I really shouldn’t be telling you this, because certain things are
more fun to discover as you go along, but what the heck. The little pumpkin
is going to be the savior of humanity. She’ll officially be eighteen
forever…once she reaches that age, of course.”
“But that still doesn’t explain why Buffy has no heartbeat,” Giles spoke up.
“Think about it sweetie,” Lorne said with a smile. “The daughter is going
to live forever, the father is going to live forever and to ensure that this
little crumb cake does save humanity, she’s going to need strong warriors on
her side…for the long haul. And who’s a stronger warrior than our girl, here?”
“Good lord,” Giles muttered, frantically wiping his glasses. “Both parents
have to stay alive in order to keep her alive.”
“In a nutshell,” Lorne said with a kind smile. “The human body is not meant
to last that long. The Powers had to kill you, to an extent, so they could
take away most of the functions that make you human. You’re still very much
human,” he continued, seeing the worried look on Buffy’s face. “You just
have a lot less to worry about now.”
Hearing the sound of the door, everyone turned their attention to the nurse
who seemed surprised to see so many people crammed in the small room.
“Visiting hours are over,” she said. Her gaze lingered on Lorne for a
moment before he gave her a winning smile that sent her scurrying out of the
room.
“We’ll see you later,” Willow said, leaning down to give the baby and her
friend a kiss on the head, hesitating for a moment before doing the same to
Spike. Buffy had to giggle at his shocked expression.
“We’ll stop by tomorrow, Buffster,” Xander said, giving her a soft smile
before leaving.
“See you later, cupcake.”
“Bye, Lorne,” Buffy said. “Thanks for making the trip.”
“Wouldn’t miss it. I knew that baby would be a knockout with you two in the
gene pool.”
Buffy’s gaze slowly fell on Angel, who hadn’t said anything since he showed
up, and now seemed to be locked in a staring contest with Spike. “Angel?”
“Congratulations, Buffy,” he said with a soft smile. It slowly faded when
he saw her hopeful expression. “Fine,” he muttered. “You too, Spike.”
“Thanks, Gramps,” he said with a grin, earning him an elbow in the ribs and
an innocent look from Buffy.
Watching the door close, Buffy smiled when Giles hesitantly approached the
bed. “May I?” he asked, gesturing toward the baby.
“Of course,” she said softly, gently handing the baby to her surrogate
father.
Joyce eagerly cooed over the little girl as Giles turned toward her.
“What’s her name?” he asked after a moment.
Exchanging a look, Spike gave Buffy a tender smile before answering.
“Kelley Allayna.”
“Warrior of the light,” Giles said with a soft smile, looking at the baby in
his arms. “How appropriate.”
Spike and Buffy exchanged a look before Buffy turned back to Giles. “Is
there anything you don’t know?” she asked in playful exasperation.
“Very little,” he replied with a joking smile.
Buffy eagerly snuggled closer to Spike, relaxing when she felt his arms wrap
securely around her as he brushed a tender kiss along her forehead. He
glanced at the ‘grandparents’ and noticed they were too absorbed with the
baby to pay attention to them. “You’re amazing.”
“Only because I have you.”
Chapter 43 – A Lifetime of Happiness
“She’s crying,” Spike murmured, gently kissing Buffy’s shoulder.
“My turn?” she asked with a yawn.
With a gentle smile, he shook his head. “I just got in,” he whispered.
“I’ll go.”
“You’re the best,” she mumbled, waking up a little bit more and peeking at
Spike out of one eye. “Any action tonight?”
Spike chuckled as he climbed out of bed. “You know it, baby. Four
propositions in two hours.”
“They better be dust before they try and tempt you with those propositions,”
she replied, suddenly waking up a little bit more as jealousy flooded
through her.
Leaning over and brushing a tender kiss across her forehead, Spike looked
Buffy directly in the eyes, making sure she saw the sincerity and
truthfulness in his gaze.
“No one could ever tempt me, luv,” he whispered, letting his fingertips
caress her cheek. “You’re all the temptation I can handle.”
Buffy smiled gratefully, watching Spike walk out the door and across the
hall to the nursery. Closing her eyes, she tried to let some much-needed
sleep wash over her. Becoming more aware of Spike and their daughter, she
had to smile when she heard him singing softly in the next room.
Pushing herself into a sitting position, she slowly climbed out of bed.
When Buffy had been discharged from the hospital, Spike had promptly driven
them to an apartment complex, not far from Joyce’s house. Buffy had been
thrilled that they had a place of their own, not wanting to be a burden for
her mother. The apartment was small, but they didn’t need much space and it
allowed them to still have a little space from the baby at night, while
being close to her at the same time.
Walking across the hall, a smile lit up her face as she watched Spike gently
rock the baby girl back and forth. Seeing Buffy in the doorway, he gave her
a wink before continuing the soothing motions.
Watching Kelley slowly close her eyes, she smiled as Spike carried her over
to the small cradle, gently laying her down. Pressing a kiss to his
fingers, her heart swelled when she watched him brush his fingertips across
the baby’s cheek. “Sweet dreams, princess,” he whispered.
Walking toward Buffy, he could see the tears in her eyes and wrapped his
arms around her waist, pulling her toward him and leaving a searing kiss on
her lips. “I wanted you…to get some sleep,” he said, pressing his forehead
to hers.
“What can I say? I could never resist a man with a baby.”
Spike growled low in his throat, picking Buffy up and carrying her to their
bedroom in the small apartment. “I better be the only man you can’t
resist,” he said in a husky whisper.
“You know you are,” she murmured, feeling a thrill rush through her as he
stared at her through lust-filled eyes.
Playing with the sash of her satin robe, a slow smirk came over Spike’s
lips. “Can I unwrap my present now?” he asked in a seductive whisper.
“Have you been a good boy?” Buffy teased.
“Always,” he said with a smile. “What’s underneath, Goldilocks?”
Letting the robe float to the floor, Spike felt his mouth go dry at the
sight of her bronzed, toned body in front of him.
“Is it safe?” he asked in a choked voice. “It’s only been a few weeks.”
“It’s safe,” she said in a reassuring voice. “Slayer healing, remember?”
A look of relief crossed his face before he nodded.
“I love you,” he whispered, letting his hand trail along her arm as he
guided her toward the bed.
“I love you, too,” she said with a soft smile, sitting down on the bed and
immediately working on his belt as he pulled his shirt over his head.
Shoving his pants down his legs, Buffy licked her lips and suppressed a
giggle when Spike groaned at the glimpse of her tongue peeking out. Sitting
back to admire his naked body for a moment, she let her hands gently run
along his muscular legs, trailing upward until they rested on his narrow
hips.
Leaning forward, she gently let her tongue trail along the tip of his hard
shaft, gasping when he pushed her back on the bed and entered her in one
swift movement. Gripping his shoulders and letting her muscles constrict
around him, she smiled when Spike moaned.
Wrapping her arms around him, she pulled him closer to her as they began to
hesitantly move together. Pushing into her, Buffy felt her stomach tighten
when his hips met hers. Meeting each gentle thrust, she’d never felt her
need for him spiral out of control so fast. This was the first time they’d
made love since the baby was born and the relief that she felt was
immeasurable. Her mind was no longer wondering if this could be the last
time they would be together, because it wasn’t…it was the first. It was the
first time she could freely be with him and not have to worry about what
could happen the next day.
She felt him kiss along her jaw and down her neck, causing her breath to
catch in her throat. Raising her hips to meet his, she moaned when he
thrust harder inside of her, causing her body to nearly lose control.
Spike could feel his mark calling to him. He could feel the craving in her
body as she silently called for him to claim what was his. Cradling her
body to his, he gently licked the area around the mark, smiling against her
skin when Buffy thrust upward, becoming more frantic for any kind of
release.
“Please,” she murmured, her eyes closed as waves of pleasure seemed to wash
over her with every movement he made.
Not waiting to be asked twice, Spike eagerly plunged his fangs into her neck,
taking a large swallow of her blood and feeling the power flow through him.
Buffy moaned, curling her body up to meet his, wanting as much contact as he
could give her. Feeling his fangs leave her neck, she gasped and shook her
head.
Grabbing the back of his neck, she guided him back to his mark.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered.
“You won’t,” Buffy replied in a quiet voice, seeing stars explode behind her
eyes when his fangs cut into her throat for the second time.
Holding her close to him as he pulled on her blood, Spike thrust his hips
against hers, ripping his mouth away from her skin when her muscles
tightened around him as she bit his shoulder to muffle her scream. Pulsing
deep inside of her, Spike stayed still for a long moment, looking into her
eyes as they shined with love, so much love and affection he could have sworn
he felt his heart beat.
“You’re mine,” Buffy whispered, a small smile playing on her lips as her
hand gently traced the sharp contours of his cheekbones.
“And you’re mine,” he replied, leaning forward to give her a tender kiss
that quickly escalated in passion. “Always.”
“Forever,” she whispered, settling more comfortably against him.
It wasn’t over, it may never be over. There would be challenges and trials to
face in the coming years, but it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what was in
their past or how they had
become the people they were meant to be. The only thing that was important
was who they were now. Because when she was with him, she’d never felt more
alive.
A sliver of happiness is better than a lifetime of loneliness and a lifetime
of happiness is something to never stop looking for.
THE END