Chapter 11: Thinking Over Life

Buffy was sitting in the kitchen the next morning. She was supposed to be going shopping with Willow later, but she hadn't been able to sleep well. Thoughts of what she and William had almost done kept running through her mind and, as a result, she hadn't slept well the night before. Buffy knew she probably would have gone through with it too had it not been for her mother showing up. Now as she looked back, Buffy knew it would have been the wrong move, because last night would have been about comfort not love.

With all that life had thrown at her lately, William had been there to console her through it all. She knew that's what she had wanted the night before; she had wanted to feel something other than the blackness that had been her life lately. However, looking at it from a different perspective, she knew that spending the night with William wouldn't have helped at all. Instead it would have made it worse, because she still would have woken up with the hurt and uncertainty from the occurences of the last month.

Buffy couldn't believe how much one month could change her life. As of right now she sat drinking her morning coffee going over why she hadn't slept with her sister's ex. It seemed totally wrong and yet she couldn't help it. She had fallen in love with William so long ago. Although, if she admitted it to herself, it had started out as a small school girl crush. However, spending this last month with him had shown her everything she needed to know.

Buffy had seen William in some of his best and worst moments. He had helped her come to terms with her sister’s death, and although that wasn't even close to being completely dealt with, Buffy knew she had at least started healing. They had mourned together this last month, and through that she had seen a lot more of William then she could have ever imagined. She came to realize, although they had been close friends for a long time, there had been a lot of things he had kept from even her. Buffy was just learning who this man was whom she had loved as a friend, but now meant more than any friend could. She knew that William had been right. There was time later for them to be physically involved, but for now she had a lot to learn about ‘William the man’ who would be her lover. The same man, and yet she knew that wasn't truly the case.

She was taking this small separation for what it was, thinking time for the both of them. Time for them to slow down and make the final decision of whether this was what they wanted or not. Buffy already knew her answer. She loved William and pretty much nothing else mattered. She knew that in the end, they would be together. Now, she only hoped that William would see that they belonged together too.

Buffy took a sip of her coffee and spit it back in her cup.

"Ick!"

She quickly looked at the clock after realizing that her coffee had gone cold during her little mind wandering. Sure enough, despite the fact that she'd been up early, she was now running late. Buffy quickly dumped her coffee in the sink, quickly followed by the mug itself. She then rushed upstairs to get ready, most likely Willow would be early and rip Buffy a new one if she wasn't ready, and that just wouldn't be pretty.

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William had been sitting on the plane for the last hour thinking over everything that had happened to him over the last month. He had gone back to Sunnydale just to see his friend graduate, not to have his whole life up ended. Yet that's what had happened not two hours after showing up in town.

William's life before going back had been filled with what he would have thought was the perfect existence.

He had a family that stood by him and loved him. He had a ‘father’ who he was happily argumentative with, and a sister for whom he cared very deeply. Now he had Joyce to add into the mix, although really she had always been like a mother to William. So, by the end of his trip, his family was really the only thing that had stayed mostly the same.

He had a girlfriend of three years waiting for him to come home. William had even envisioned her face and how it would have looked when he surprised her. Yes, she had shown him that look, but she definitely didn't come jumping into his arms like he'd imagined. Instead she had been somewhat shell shocked, but most of all she'd looked devastated. He didn't really realize that until now though. As William thought back on that day, he could see it in her eyes. Faith's eyes had always revealed a mysteriousness about her, but that day all he'd seen was a blackness in them. He had thought then that it was lust, but now he wondered if she'd already been broken from it all; drugs, pain, lies, and just life in general. In the end, had Faith already been dead the day he saw her in that bed? Is that why she had never spoken of the letters? Had she really been wishing for death to come? Had she been ready that night in the alley to die, and maybe even allowed it to take her?

Before returning to Sunnydale, William had a best friend that he had trusted to the end, but now he just didn't know. Xander had cheated with Faith. Even if Xander did love Faith, he had still gone behind William's back and slept with her. No matter how much William tried to put a good spin on it, he couldn't see past the feeling of betrayal. In the end, that had been what had happened and William just wasn't sure where to go next.

He wanted to be angry about it all, and yet couldn't find it in him. He wanted to yell and scream about his life not being as perfect as he thought, but knew it wouldn't help. In the end, Faith was dead, and whether she had wanted it or not, someone had chosen for her. Xander had willingly deceived William and slept with Faith, knowing in the end it could cost him his friendship with William. He knew that somewhere in the last month he had forgiven them both though, so how could William be angry with them now? He couldn't decide when he'd come to that conclusion but he had. He felt no ill will for either of them, but instead felt sorrow for what they had lost. He knew now more then ever what Xander was going through, because he now had it too.

Buffy.

The one person who had become a constant in his life so soon after arriving back in Sunnydale.

He had fallen in love with her, that much he knew. The thing he didn't know though was why. Why had she suddenly gone from one of his closest friends to almost lover? Why had it happened now and not years ago? Why was it, even now knowing he had all of these question running a marathon in his head, that Buffy still seemed to out shine it all? He kept seeing her crying, or pinned against the wall with her eyes so filled with longing and all he wanted to do was kiss her again. It had been so hard not to just ask her to leave with him the previous night. However, William knew they both needed this time apart to think through everything.

William also knew that no matter how much he loved her, he still had to get past the guilt of being with her. He had to know in his own head, not just his heart, that they were meant to be. Otherwise, all of this would have been for nothing, and they would both end up hurting worse than before. William knew that if things ended badly with him and Buffy, he wouldn't be able to go on living. Because in the end, he had allowed her past so many previously erected emotional walls, that his heart was now open, and he knew with all the pain he'd been through so far, that he'd not make it through more. He knew that if Buffy hurt him that it'd be like a stake through the heart. It would be slow and painful but in the end, he'd die and become part of the ground once again as all men do.

William felt a chill run over his skin, and suddenly felt very alone. He wanted to be able to hold Buffy right now and tell her how much he loved her. He wanted to tell her that although he had all these doubts and questions about them he knew in the end they would be together. In the end they wouldn't let anything come between them or break them apart, because if they did then this had all been for nothing. Mostly though William wanted the reassurance that Buffy would actually be there, but he knew for now he would have to go on faith that she would be.

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Buffy went to answer the door after hearing the doorbell ring. Figuring it was Willow and still needing to finish getting ready, she answered the door without even looking to see who it was.

"Willow just sit in the living room for a bit I am almost ready." Buffy was half way up the stairs when she heard a distinctly male voice.

"Ah Miss?"

Buffy turned around and realized that instead of Willow standing at the door it was a man in a pair of jeans and a blue buttoned shirt. "Who are you?"

"I'm Matt. I have a package for a..." Buffy watched as the man reached into his pockets and pulled out what looked like a yellow Post-it note. "Ah, yeah, a Miss Buffy Summers. Would she happen to be here?"

"Yeah I'm her. What is the package?"

"I'm not really sure miss, I was just told to drop it off, and make sure you got it personally."

Buffy thought about protesting but she noticed the clock then. If she didn't finish getting ready she wouldn't be ready for when Willow finally did show. "Fine just set it in the living room I have to finish up."

"But Miss I was told I had to make sure you got it and opened it. I..."

"I promise to go through it later. I don't have time for this right now though, just put it there and leave. Please. "

Buffy noticed that the man had wanted to protest, but she guessed he had decided not to, because he brought the cardboard box into the house. She watched as he rolled the box into the house on a trolley, and she thought it seemed quite big for anything she might receive. Noticing the time on the hall clock distracted her from that train of thought, and she was soon rushing the guy along. After finally getting the delivery man to leave, she gave the box a quick once over and quickly moved on. She just didn't have the time to deal with it right then.

Had she been more observant she might have noticed the air holes, or even the lettering across the back that said 'Do Not Wait To Open' in bold red. Had she waited but a minute longer, she might have seen the box start to sway back and forth. It took about ten minutes before the box fell over and the contents came spilling out. Buffy had a guest.

It was almost fifteen minutes later when Buffy looked at the clock and felt somewhat relieved - it looked like Willow was the one running on the tardy side along with her for once. Buffy did consider for a passing moment that this wasn't normal for Willow, but she wasn't going to complain about it. For once she would be ready before Willow even got there.

Buffy had just finished up with her make up and was putting her shoes on when there was a sudden crash. She thought it sounded like glass breaking, so she quickly ran out of her room and downstairs. When she got to the living room she found it a mess. The table that normally sat by the entrance way was overturned and the vase that sat on top of it was smashed all over the floor. Buffy noticed that the table hadn't been the only thing knocked over. She moved over to the small fake tree that her mother kept in the one corner and picked it up.

"What the heck happened here?"

As she continued to look around her eyes fell on the box that had been delivered not twenty minutes before. It was toppled over and it looked like its contents had been strewn across the whole living room. Buffy wasn't sure what was going on but she was starting to get nervous. She began to walk toward the portable phone to call Xander. With everything that had been going on, it had her on edge, and although it was probably nothing she wasn't going to take any chances. She only made it halfway to the phone though, when suddenly her feet were knocked out from under her. Buffy's head hit something hard and all she saw next was complete darkness.

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Willow was running around her apartment, not only had she actually overslept, but she had also misplaced her keys. She didn't know how though, because she was sure she'd put them on her dresser. Willow was now retracing her steps from the night before, or at least the ones she could remember. Right now she was stuck in the living room. Although she had already been through her bedroom and the living room several times, she was again rechecking the rooms. Willow had even gone as far as to look inside the fridge because she had nowhere else to check. They hadn't been there though. Now as she finished up with her fourth go through of the living room she was once again going to go through her bedroom.

"I swear if Xander moved them somewhere or this is another of Faith's jokes..." She suddenly realized what she'd said and stopped dead. It had been so off the cuff that she hadn't thought about it. She smiled though because she knew this actually would have been something Faith would have pulled on her, just because she was one of Buffy's friends. Willow got stuck in memories of Faith pulling jokes through out the years. It had only gotten worse when Willow had moved into Xander's apartment and Faith would stop by regularly. It had been an ongoing thing for Faith to move something; normally it would be school work or something just as important. Then she'd put it back after an exhaustive search had been conducted.

Willow was brought out of the memories though when the stupid talking clock in the kitchen crowed. Sure enough, when she looked at her watch she realized that she was now twenty minutes late.

"Well, Buffy will definitely gloat about this one."

Willow continued back to her room one more time. Her eyes caught sight of a glint on the dresser. She looked towards the ceiling and yelled.

"You are kiddin' me, right?"

She released a small growl when she confirmed what she'd thought. There on her dresser sat her keys, right where she had thought she'd placed them the night before. She picked them up and threw them in her pocket, then looked up at the ceiling.

"Faith if you are haunting me you can stop it anytime because this isn't funny."

Willow quickly walked out of the bedroom, grabbed her purse, and headed for her car. She couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up inside her though as she raced down the stairs. She knew that Faith wasn't haunting her, but it had been a tension release and Willow was grateful for what ever had caused it, whether it had been her own absentmindedness and blind eyes that missed the keys or something else working behind it all to give her something to laugh at in this hectic life she'd been living of late. She had reached her car and quickly called through to Buffy's house, but got the answering machine.

"Hey Buff listen I know I'm late you can gloat later, just know I'm on my way."

She hung up and started the car. She didn't know why Buffy hadn't answered but it didn't really bother her.

"She's probably still rushing around also, thinking she'll be late. Most likely she will be too." Willow chuckled a bit as she looked both ways before pulling out of the parking lot onto the road.

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Xander sat at his desk going over what had happened the night before. He was pissed off with himself for letting his anger get the best of him. It had been so long since he had really let any feelings show he supposed it had all just been building up in him. It still irked him that he had allowed the volcano of anger to blow up last night at work. Although he knew Meers had deserved it, he knew it had been a mistake.

"I should have never let him get to me."

"That is one thing you've got right there sweetie."

Xander looked up into the eyes of the one and only Anya Jenkins. If there was one person you didn't want talking about you, it was her. She was blunt and liked to tell everyone your life story without even realizing she was doing it. All of which meant you really couldn't get angry with her, because that was just the way she was.

She was also in charge of Faith's murder, and he knew she was the best for it. They didn't call her a vengeance demon for nothing. Anya always sought vengeance on those that had been wronged, and she never gave up on a case. Xander knew that right now he really didn't want to hear what she thought of him. He knew though that there would be no stopping her.

"Anya, what is it you want?"

"Well honey, you know what I want." She gave him a coy look.

That was another thing that Anya did, she talked openly and zealously about sex. Oh and she could turn anything you said into an innuendo. Just as Xander was about to ask her to cool it though, she spoke again.

"In the end, I don't think I would want that from you. I don't like sleeping with men who don't fight for what they want." With that, an envelope skidded across his over-stacked desk and stopped in front of him. Before he could ask what she was talking about, she was gone. He picked up the envelope and undid the clasp on the back. He attempted to dump the contents onto his desk, but nothing came out. Looking inside, he found that there were several sheets of paper. Once he pulled them out, he realized that they were pages from Faith’s diary. Xander also knew that whatever was written on them should be read in private. Xander knew more than likely they were about him, and that was why Anya had discretely brought them to his attention. That meant he wanted to read them without an interruption. He quickly stuffed them back into the envelope, and clasped it shut.

Two hours later he'd finally finished up with his work. Xander reached into his desk and extracted the envelope again. He grabbed his coat and threw it on. He knew the perfect place to read without interruption, and it had been years since he'd been there.

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Willow had already been parked outside of Buffy’s house for five minutes. She had honked her horn several times, but Buffy had still not shown herself. It had been long enough that Willow was worried. She walked up to the door and knocked just to make sure. After a few moments passed with still no Buffy, Willow went looking for the extra key. Sure enough it was under the back porch in amongst the rocks. She went back to the front door and unlocked it.

"Buffy!" Willow didn’t hear anything though, in fact the house sounded eerily quiet. Willow made sure the door was closed before she started towards the stairs continuing to call out Buffy's name. As she walked past the living room, she noticed Buffy out of the corner of her eye. Willow rushed to Buffy who was sprawled out on the floor. Willow saw a little blood but it didn't look like Buffy had lost much.

"Buffy! Buffy come on! Wake up!" Willow tried shaking Buffy, hoping to wake her up. After a few shakes Buffy did start to come around. "Buffy, what happened?"

Buffy was slowly coming to and she mumbled "Huh?"

"Buffy, you were on the floor passed out. What happened?" Willow had helped Buffy sit up, but she still seemed a bit disoriented.

"Willow, am I late?"

Willow couldn't stop the laugh that came out of her. "Oh, thank goodness! I was so worried that you were out of it. Can you remember what happened?"

"Yeah I think so. I was getting ready, and there was a huge crash."

Willow looked around and finally noticed the different things that had been knocked over. Willow hadn’t noticed the stuff before, as she had been too worried about Buffy. Willow turned her attention back to Buffy, who seemed to be coming around a lot better.

"So, I checked in here and found this mess; then suddenly my feet were knocked out from under me."

"What? How is that? Was there someone else here?"

"No, not since the delivery guy earlier."

"What delivery guy?" Willow interrupted.

"Well, you know I might get to tell you if you stopped being all jumpy girl and interrupting me. Okay, well as I was saying, that box over there..." Buffy pointed towards the wreck of things by the knocked over table. "I don't know how it ended up open and on its side, because I had the delivery guy set it down upright and unopened. I had been trying to get ready so I wouldn't be late."

Willow got up and walked over to the box and started going through the contents. Everything in it though, made no sense. She was just turning back to Buffy to explain what was in the box when there was a noise from inside the closet.

They both jumped, and Willow watched as Buffy wobbled a bit on her feet, but soon steadied herself.

"What was that?"

"Willow, stop asking questions. Just grab that..." Buffy pointed toward the lamp, and Willow did as she said. Then Willow noticed Buffy walk toward the closet door. Willow stopped her with yet another question.

"What are you doing?"

"Shhh!"

Buffy continued towards the closet and Willow followed her. Although she thought this was stupid she figured she wouldn't be able to talk Buffy out of it. Just then, Buffy swung the closet door open, and Willow let out a scream.

Buffy just said "Oh, good Lord!"

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Chapter 12: Where'd it Come From

Buffy stood at the closet, staring, with a look of utter disbelief on her face, at what she saw in front of her. While Willow had just stopped screaming, Buffy couldn't hold her laughter in any longer.

Amidst her giggles, she turned to look at Willow. "Why in the world were you screaming over that?"

They both turned and looked at the ball of fluff that sat amongst some of Joyce's old coats. It was a puppy that looked back at them with big brown eyes. Buffy watched as a hat that had fallen on its tail at some point would swish back and forth a couple of times and then stop, just to start again. Buffy smiled as she looked down on the helpless little creature. She turned then to look back at Willow, and only then did she realize that Willow still held the lamp in her hand, poised to strike.

"Willow I think it's safe to say that the puppy isn't here to attack us, so do you mind putting down the lamp?"

Willow gave her a sheepish look and set the lamp on the floor. Buffy then got down on her haunches so as not to scare the little dog when she went to pick it up. As she reached in the closet for the puppy, it ducked out of her reach, so she tried again. This time she caught it. She cuddled it to her bosom and began to talk to Willow.

"So where do you think she came from?" There was a sharp bark from her arms and she looked closer at the dog. "Oh sorry. Willow where do you think 'he' came from?" When she looked back to him she could have sworn that he was sporting a self satisfied grin, but Willow spoke and Buffy forgot about it.

"Well I would say he is probably what came in the box. I had actually been wondering what you would need a leash for. Well then again you are dating William.... Nope I was right the first time, what would you need with a leash?"

Buffy could not believe what she had just heard. "Willow did you just imply what I think you did?" Buffy watched as a blush formed on her friend’s face, before they both burst out laughing. The puppy, which had been trying to fall asleep in her lap, was jostled by Buffy's laughter. Buffy watched as the dog gave her the evil eye and jumped from her lap to the floor. He walked off to a corner not far from her and laid with his back to her. Buffy soon turned from watching the puppy, and started taling to Willow. "Okay, now back to where this little guy came from."

"Like I was saying there was a leash, and some other puppy things, and there might have even been a note but I didn't get that far."

Buffy got up and walked over to the box and started looking in it. Just when she was about to give up she noticed something white attached to the inside flap of the box. She pulled it off and found it was an envelope. She opened it and found a note inside.

Hey luv,

I know by the time this little gift reaches you I'll be on a plane for England, or at least I hope I am. I saw this little guy yesterday and remembered that you kept saying something about being, lonely. I hope he will help a little, just remind him you’re my girl and he can't have you.

Please don't be too lonely while I'm gone. I'll call you later tonight. Remember I love you, and I miss you.

Love Always,
William

PS. Don't worry ‘bout your mom… she already knows.

Buffy folded the note back up and put it in her back pocket. She quickly wiped the few tears that had fallen as she read the note. Once she was sure she'd wiped them away she turned back to Willow.

"So from William, huh?"

Buffy was surprised. "How'd you know?"

"Well for one, the thousand watt smile."

Buffy didn't reply to that but did to Willow's original question. "Yeah that little guy is from William. He got him so that I wouldn't be lonely."

The conversation moved on to puppy names and fits of giggles. They were oblivious to the world around them or they might have realized they were being watched again. Instead they remained obliviouse to the killer who had been so close to them.

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Willow parked her car in the space at the end of the apartment building. She hated parking down here because there were hardly any lights, but there was no other spaces open closer. She had stayed out late with Buffy at the Bronze. They had decided to hang out there for an hour but soon it had turned into three hours. Willow wasn't regretting it though, because it had been great just to have a girls’ night out; well almost. Tara had gone into L.A. earlier that morning and when they'd called to see if she wanted to join them no one had answered. Willow and Buffy had a great time though - it had been fun just to hang out.

There just hadn't been much of that lately and Willow knew she would soon have to confess to Buffy that they wouldn't have much time left together.

Willow still hadn't figured how she was going to tell Buffy that she wasn't staying in Sunnydale for college. She had just gotten the letter the other day saying she'd been accepted to Berkeley which was almost six hours away. Willow still wasn't sure what she was going to major in, but she wanted to get out of Sunnydale. She had never thought she would get to, and now that she had the chance she couldn't give it up. It still didn't help her to figure out just how to tell Buffy, or Xander for that matter.

She got out of the car and locked it up. Willow paid close attention to her surroundings as she walked towards the entrance to the apartment complex. It was a habit she had picked up from her brother, the cop. She was only half way there when she heard a scuffle and then some yelling. She would have ignored it and hurried the rest of the way but the one voice had sounded suspiciously like Xander. Willow turned back towards her car and rounded the building. Although it was dark, she distinctly made out Xander's form standing bent over by a tree. As Willow watched, another person came up behind him, but she couldn't make out who it was. The man, or what she guessed was a man by his body shape, started to manhandle Xander. Willow stood back, figuring that Xander could take care of himself, but he was soon overpowered by the guy.

Willow didn't think about what she did next. She just ran up behind the guy and jumped on his back.

"You leave my brother alone!" She screamed. She had her hands covering his face as she tried to scratch him. It was the one time when she wished she didn’t bite her nails. She did manage to cause the guy to lose his balance though, because he soon fell over. The only thing Willow hadn't thought about was that she would go down with him when he fell. They both landed with an oomph, and Willow knew that she would have bruises in the morning. As she looked toward where the other person was, the moon came out from behind the clouds and she was able to see the other person’s face.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry Richard! I didn't hurt you did I?"

"No, but remind me never to get on your bad side."

Willow suddenly remembered what she'd seen moments before and the fire rekindled within her. "Yeah, well manhandling my brother around would cause you to be on my bad side. So would you like to explain yourself?"

"It wasn't what you think Willow - I found Xander down at Willy's."

Willow realized what he was saying and sure enough when she finally looked over towards where Xander had been he wasn't standing anymore. He was passed out next to the same tree he had been leaning against. Willow sighed a long daunting sigh. "He's drunk isn't he?" She watched as Xander’s friend and co-worker nodded his head in confirmation.

"I was trying to get him into the apartment. Figured it would be better if he slept it off at home. He had actually started to bother Willy's other customers, and that's when Willy called me. I even got Willy not to press charges for the broken mirror."

"Broken mirror?"

"It seems Xander went into a bit of a rant. Willy said that he kept yelling at the mirror that it was his fault. Finally he just threw his bottle at the mirror. I paid the damages, so don't worry."

Willow tried to give him a smile but she figured it probably looked strained. All the happiness from earlier had quickly slipped out of her when she'd realized Xander was drunk. She started to stand up; instead she was lifted to her feet. She looked back and came face to face with Richard's brown eyes and a tender smile spread across his features.

Willow quickly averted her eyes as she felt her cheeks fill with heat. His hands seemed to linger a bit too long on her waist, but when she looked back at Richard, his smile was gone. She figured she had just imagined the hand thing too, because he now had a determined look on his face. She quickly pushed the warmth that had started to take over her body down; this wasn't the time or place. Most likely it would never be the right time or place.

"Thanks."

He nodded his head in acceptance of her thanks and then moved towards Xander's sprawled body. She watched Richard throw Xander’s arm over his shoulder and lift. He soon was dragging Xander's passed out form toward the apartment entrance again.

Willow rushed up on the other side of Xander and tried to take some of the weight of her brother off of Richard's shoulder. Once again she was graced with a genuinely tender smile from Richard and this time she couldn't push the feeling away, and really she didn't want to.

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Joyce peered into the living room through the doorway in which she was standing. Buffy had fallen asleep on the couch waiting for William to call, like he'd said he would. Joyce silently walked toward her daughter’s sleeping form and reached over her to remove the afghan from the back of the couch, before covering Buffy’s resting figure. As she tucked her daughter in like so many times when Buffy was younger, Joyce couldn't help but feel grateful. After telling Buffy the truth, Joyce had figured she'd lose her remaining daughter, but instead it had really made them closer. Joyce found herself cherishing their time together more. She knew if Buffy wanted to, she could leave and never look back, because in all reality all they had ever had in common was one man. Hank Summers.

Joyce couldn't stop the bitter taste that entered her mouth whenever she thought of her ex-husband. The only good thing he had ever done was give her Faith and Buffy. Joyce couldn't stand the man, and she hoped she never reached a point in her life where she ever could. She had forgiven him years ago for his deceit and cheating, but she could never forgive him for turning his back on his daughters. Joyce had realized then that he was a selfish idiot. If anything, his absence at Faith’s funeral proved that. Joyce had hoped Hank would at least make an appearance; but all she had received was a check explaining he'd pay all the funeral expenses. Joyce had promptly torn the check up and trashed it. She wanted nothing to do with Hank ever again if she could help it.

Joyce had a man that loved her now and she couldn't ask for anyone better. Giles had stuck by her side during all of this. A lot like William had stuck by Buffy’s side. Giles had been a life saver this last month and Joyce couldn't help wondering how she would have ever gotten through it without him. He had been able to see right through every facade she'd put up and had made her open herself to him, not allowing her to keep it all bottled up inside. Joyce had cried more than she had ever cried before, and for once she didn't feel as if she had to be the strong one. Giles had done that for her; had become the strong one and shared her burdens through all of this.

Joyce leaned down and placed a kiss on Buffy's forehead. As she stood back up, the afghan started to move and a little white head popped out from underneath.

Joyce whispered "What are you up to?"

The puppy yapped at her and she quickly picked it up, trying to quiet it. He snuggled into her arms and quieted down. Joyce turned her attention back to Buffy and watched as she stirred, but fell back asleep.

"Now Little Willy you must be quiet. We can't go waking up Buffy." Joyce started to leave but took one more look back at her daughter. She really hoped she never lost Buffy, because she didn't know if she'd make it.

Joyce had no sooner left the living room, before the phone began to ring. She peeked around the corner just in time to watch Buffy jump awake and reach for the phone. Joyce heard Buffy’s opening remarks as she was walking away.

"Yeah, William. It’s me. No I wasn't waiting up….umm…just had the phone by my bed."

Joyce couldn't help but chuckle.

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Willow slumped onto the small love seat which was located in the living room. The room wasn't big enough to hold a normal sized couch, so Xander had picked out a navy blue velour love seat. Willow loved how comfortable it was. It was her favorite place to sit in the whole apartment. Willow tried to figure out how she would talk to Xander in the morning. She had actually thought William had straightened him out. Although William hadn’t told her what was wrong, he had seemed to think that Xander would be fine. Now Xander was coming home like this.

Willow leaned her head against the back of the love seat and closed her eyes. The next thing she felt was a blanket drapped over her. She groggily opened her eyes and realized she must have dozed off. As she looked up, she saw Richard standing over her.

"Oh! I'm sorry Richard. Didn’t mean to fall asleep." Willow yawned and tried to sit up, but a hand held her back.

"Don't worry about it. I'm just leaving anyway. When I saw you'd fallen asleep, I decided to cover you up. Instead I woke you up." Richard backed off then and started walking for the door. He stopped and picked up his keys off the side table.

"That's okay. I really should head off to bed anyway. This love seat may be my favorite place to sit, but it does awful things to my back if I try to sleep on it. I learned that one night when Buffy and I had a movie night." Willow got up and walked to open the door for Richard.

Richard chuckled at that. "Buffy is that little blonde, right?"

"Yeah. But she's taken, so no funny ideas." Willow tried giving him her best evil eye. She was now standing at the door holding it open for Richard. "I'm not trying to get rid of you and yet I am. I really need to get to bed."

Richard laughed again. "Yeah, I understand. Anyway, talk to you later. Tell Xander I'll see him at work." Willow had nearly shut the door before opening it again when Richard continued to speak. "Oh, Willow as for liking Buffy well....."

Willow nodded her head for him to continue.

"Well don't worry about that. I’m more partial to redheads." Willow watched as Richard winked at her and then walked away. She was left standing in the open doorway, shocked.

Had he just flirted with her? Willow quickly shook her head and closed the door. She was not awake enough to think about this tonight.

No matter how tired she was, Willow found it hard to fall to sleep that night. She kept hearing Richard’s words over and over in her head. When she finally did slip into dreamland, though, it was with a smile on her face.

Chapter 13: Bubble Letters

William sat in a green lawn chair, which was located on the Wyndham-Price's balcony. He had been back in England for a little over three weeks, watching over their flat while they were gone.

Wesley Wyndham-Price had been William's friend for a long time; they had gone to school together, before William moved to the States. He and Wes had probably been the two biggest ponces you ever wanted to see, and they had stuck together through it all. Wesley had become like William’s older brother through the years. Wesley had even lived with William’s family for a year while Wes’ mother had been in the hospital. William also knew that Wesley had mourned just as hard for William's mother, as he himself had after her death. They had always been close even in the years when communication was little, and far between. They both knew the other was there if they needed anything.

After William and his family moved to the States, he and Wes kept in contact but really hadn't seen each other for a long time. That changed when William returned to England to attend university. William could still remember getting off that plane and Wes being there to greet him back home. To William, back then that was exactly what England was. Home. William had rented out the third bedroom in Wes’ flat, which was the only bedroom on the second floor. Wes, and now Fred, lived on the first floor now that they were married.

It had been three months after William had moved in that Wesley had literally found Fred. She had been a victim from one of the many cases being worked at AI, also known as Angel Investigations. Wes worked there for awhile, but had never gotten so involved in a case. This time had been different, and even William had seen the writing on the wall. William remembered well how his friend had acted, the night after the case had been solved. William had never seen Wes lose his temper, but that night Wes had let it all explode. Wesley later explained to William what had happened and William had just listened as his friend told him Fred’s story.

Wes had been in charge of the investigation, and hit a dead end. Fred had been missing for a week before they had gotten a lead from a local library. She had been seen on the corner outside the library, right after it had closed. Witnesses reported seeing someone that matched Fred’s description get in a white car and drive off. It took Wes another month before the investigation provided any leads, and he had slowly become more and more frustrated. Then the biggest break had come from Fred herself. She had acquired a cell phone from somewhere and had called for help. Wes and his team had found her by tracking the cell phone, which she had left on. Fred had been found in the back of an old basement. Her clothes barely hung on her shoulders in tatters, and she spoke gibberish, comprised mostly of numbers and letters.

After the investigation ended, Wes immersed himself in his work. One night, six months after Fred had been found, Wes returned home from work smiling. Fred had shown up at AI to thank all the investigators who had worked to find her. She had even given Wesley a peck on the cheek for "rescuing her" as she put it. Wesley had actually gotten a lot of flack because of it too. His co workers had a wonderful time teasing him about solving the case all by himself and saving the damsel in distress. Wes had actually taken it in stride, and went on working. It wasn’t long before Fred showed up again, but this time she was on a mission of sorts. She wanted to thank Wes by taking him to dinner, and that had been the beginning of the end for bachelor Wesley Windham-Pryce.

As a couple, Wes and Fred had their own problems and trials, but had worked through them. Fred still experienced panic attacks every now and then. She told William once that it was a daily fight for her. Some days were good, while others seemed as if the whole world was being shadowed out by fear. Fred said the tough days were the days that meant the most, because those days she fought, and won. Wes had always been there too, standing next to her, comforting her until she got past her fears. They were far from over the hill into happily ever after; but they made the most of the ride there. Now that Fred was pregnant, William hoped that their lives would calm down also. They deserved to live a normal life.

He wished it was that easy for him to just go back, but it wasn't. He had been hiding out in England for what seemed like a lifetime but had, in reality, only been a week. When Fred and Wes returned home early, William knew he could have left right away, but instead he had made excuses. William had been putting it off, hoping that maybe he would just be forgotten. He knew better though, no one that he knew would let him while away his life sitting on this balcony.

"Are you going to sit here and continue to sulk, or are you going to go back to the girl you love?"

William looked up and directly into Fred’s eyes, and his point was proven. Fred wasn’t going to let him just sit around. She had a perturbed look on her face, and he could hear her foot tapping on the cement floor of the balcony.

"Fred, if I go back we are just going to start our relationship right where it left off."

"And that's such a bad thing?"

"Yes it is." William said exasperated. "Listen, it moved too fast in the first place. I mean, what was I thinking, rushing into a relationship with my ex-girlfriend’s sister, merely hours after she was killed? Hello, doesn't it seem a bit insensitive? On top of that, Buffy is one of my best friends, and now I'm just totally in love with her? I had barely just realized that Buffy had grown from a little girl to a beautiful woman. I mean this is the same person who I used to give piggy back rides, and listen to all her teenage woes. Now I'm suddenly dating her, not twenty-four hours after I break up with her sister? Then to top it all off, I just suddenly fall in love with her? Now, come on Fred, how many things can you count wrong in this whole scenario?" William now leaned against the edge of the balcony looking out over the crowded street below. He felt that he had screwed up this whole thing and he didn't know how to fix it.

"First of all, I think you are looking at this in completely the wrong way. William, that girl as you so nicely put it has been in your heart for years. Even I knew it only after knowing you for two years. So believe me, nearly that whole list doesn't even count." He tried to interrupt but she continued to talk.

"As for Faith, I don't think you ever truly loved her, so no, it's not insensitive. I mean I've seen you and heard you gloat over the fact that Buffy was growing into such a beautiful woman. William, we all saw it a long time ago. How many times have you shown that little picture of a blonde that you carry in your wallet to your friends and anyone else you talked to? How many times did you actually show the picture of Faith that you also carry around?" Fred stood there giving him a look that just begged him to argue with her. "It's called love, plain and simple. William, you are tying to run away from something which you cannot escape. It's with you already, all these years that you've known Buffy it's been there. It was under the surface, but it's still been there. Believe me I know."

She stopped for a moment and took a deep breath before continuing. William would have stopped her but he was too immersed in his own feelings and questions to realize that this was hard for her to explain. It brought up a lot of things that hurt, but she knew that it would get through to William if she could just finish. "Who would have thought I'd want anything to do with something that reminds me what happened to me, and yet I stand here married and pregnant by the man who saved me. I would have rather moved on and not ever seen anything connected to those tragic few weeks. However, I knew from the minute Wesley took me out of that basement, I loved him. I tried to run; instead it just became more and more pressing that I see him. William, you can't run. Believe me, don't even try." She turned then to walk back in the house. Before doing so, she spoke once more.

"Oh, and one more thing William. Two years ago when you got the letter from Buffy about Parker, who was the one person that wanted to go back and kill him? If I remember correctly it wasn't pleasant what you had planned either, and please for my stomach’s sake don't remind me of the details." Fred began to walk back inside, with a soft smile on her face. In her wake, she left William to ponder one more statement. "Just think about it William. I'm sure you'll see I'm right."

At this point that was all William was doing. He sat on that balcony until the sun had gone down and the shops below had closed. He thought about all the years he had spent with Buffy. William really thought back on a lot of his past, and realized one true constant in his life. Whenever he had been at his happiest, and even his lowest times, he'd gone to Buffy. In all these years he had turned to Buffy when his life had seemed to be in the pits of hell, and slowly burning away. All those times she had been the one who listened and helped. He'd never realized before how much she had meant to him, and still did.

It didn't take him long to get a plane ticket, and he quickly packed. Tomorrow he'd be leaving for Sunnydale. He had some things to clear up and sitting around England wasn't getting it done.

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Anya came slamming out of her boss’ office. It had been nearly two months since Faith's murder, and after almost a month with no new leads or evidence, he wanted her to close the Summers’ case. The letters had led them nowhere, and she was starting to wonder if her boss had been right about them too. He had told her from the beginning that they were just prank letters, and not to bother with them. Anya had seen them as important evidence though. Now almost a month later she wondered if she had spent too much time on trying to find who had written the letters, and not enough time on the rest of the case. In the end, focusing on the other aspects of the case wouldn't have gotten her very far either.

They hadn't found the murder weapon yet, but they had determined that Faith had been killed with a knife. It had been determined that the knife had a blade which was approximately eight inches long and 1/4 inch thick. They had also determined that the murder had taken place in the alley, and that her body had been dragged to the side of the alley.

The autopsy had proved in the end that Faith most likely had not been able to scream, and even if she would have tried, it would have been a fading cry for help. The coroner had explained that the knife had actually gone in just right, causing death within minutes. It was unclear as to whether she'd been stabbed in the back before or after she was stabbed in the gut. The opinion was that Faith had been stabbed in the gut first, which had caused her to fall forward. The killer had then proceeded to stab Faith in the back. It had been determined that blood loss had been the cause of death. In the end Anya, didn't really care how it had happened. All she wanted was some piece of evidence to show her who the killer was.

Anya and a few other officers had interviewed all of the surrounding neighbors, hoping to find someone who had seen or at least heard something unusual that night. They had questioned everyone, from Mrs. Johnson, the little old lady that had found the body, to Harmony Kendall, an eighteen year old who lived in the vicinity and had been home alone that night. Ms. Kendall hadn't been able to provide much information, except repeatedly reporting that she had been at home all night and asleep by nine. Anya had thought she seemed a bit distracted but had attributed it to the fact that she had just had someone killed in her own backyard. They had even questioned a homeless girl who had been seen many times around the area previously. She had been at the shelter across town that night though, or at least according to her. No one at the shelter had been able to tell Anya whether or not Ms. Shelton had been there or not.

There had been no witnesses, and Anya knew that was what she needed to keep this case open. Just one person that had seen Faith with her killer that night, but Anya wasn't going to be waiting. No witnesses only meant one thing for this case -- it was closed. With Faith's killer still on the loose, Anya felt that she had failed.

Anya sighed as she closed the case folder with the picture of Faith she had been staring at for the last few minutes. It was one of the crime scene pictures, showing Faith slumped over a recycle bin. Her eyes were still open, in this black and white photo, which just added to the look of lifelessness in the picture. You could just make out the blanket which had been pulled back, the blanket was darker in some areas than others and Anya knew from experience that the discoloration was blood.

She shuttered as the air surrounding her seemed to turn icy, even though she knew that it was impossible, because it was hotter in the building than outside, and had been since the air conditioning quit working the day before. She walked towards her cubicle, not paying attention to her surroundings, and walked right into someone. The folder for the Summers’ case had fallen out of her hands and once again she was staring into those same dark pools of nothingness. She forced her eyes away from Faith's and into the ones that belonged to who she had run into. There wasn't much of a difference to these eyes though, because they seemed just as lifeless as Faith's. The person spoke then, the listlessness in the voice caused Anya to cringe. For someone who at one point in time had been such a jovial person, to be reduced to this, well it just wasn't right.

"Have you found anything new?"

"No, and..." Began Anya, as she went about putting the folder back together, and closing it back up, hoping she wouldn’t have to finish the sentence.

"You have to close it don't you? The boss wants it marked unsolved doesn't he?" This time the voice was impassive. Anya hated having to confirm the statement, but she knew she couldn't lie.

"Yes, Xander, I have to close the case." She watched as Xander shook his head in understanding and started to turn and walk off. She quickly grabbed his arm and turned him back around to look at her.

In the weeks since giving him the journal entries, she had watched his mood slowly decline. Immediately after Faith had died he just tried to hide his feelings, now he didn't care. Anya had slowly watched the weeks pass and Xander become more and more withdrawn from everyone. She had even heard that he had been taken home at least twice by some of his co-workers, because he'd been too drunk to drive. Although she knew that it wasn't all her fault, she couldn't help the thought that her comment hadn't helped things any. Anya replayed her actions in her head several times, and had ultimately regretted allowing Xander access to those few entries that Faith had written leading up to the days before she died. She hadn't known before now how to make it up to him, but in these last few seconds she knew exactly what she could do.

"Xander, I can't make promises but I will continue looking into this case. I promise I'm not giving up."

"Anya I know that you’re not going to give up, but you know as well as I do, the longer this goes unsolved the more likely that it will be buried until no one remembers. I'm not holding my breath to see it solved, because it most likely won't be." Anya let go of his arm once the realization hit her.

He was giving up, and not just on the case. She could almost see it in his eyes; he had given up on the job itself. Anya watched as he walked off and wondered how long it would be until Xander gave up his dream too.

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Buffy stood outside the Espresso Pump. She had about fifteen minutes left of her lunch break before she had to be back at The Magic Box - Giles' book store - which he had purchased two years prior, after he had retired. Giles had hired her for the summer, after her mother had complained about her working at the Double Meat Palace. Although it had been a rough start, including Buffy knocking down a whole bookshelf of English literature her first week on the job, Giles had stuck with her and gotten her successfully situated into the position of stock girl, after her failed attempt at sales girl.

As Buffy stood watching everyone pass her, she just took in her surroundings. It was such a beautiful day, the news had said that the heat would dissipate as the day went on, and they'd actually been right. There was already a slight breeze in the air and Buffy breathed it in through her nose and out through her mouth. It had been a while since she just stood and allowed herself to relax into the world around her. As she felt the warmth of the sun on her and the breeze ruffle the bottom of her flare jeans, she thought about William.

She had tried not to think about him too much while he'd been gone. Those first couple of days after he'd left she tried to overanalyze every thing about them. It had gotten bad enough that Willow had pulled out her resolve face, demanding Buffy calm down. That's when Buffy had realized she'd taken it too far because Willow almost never demanded anything. So Buffy had stopped worrying about her relationship with William -- well sort of. Starting work at the Magic Box had merely given her something else to worry about and she had pushed William to the back of her mind, not really thinking about him unless he called.

As Buffy brought her focus back to her current surroundings, she realized she was in the way of the door, and several irritated faces were staring at her. She quickly moved to the side and let the people, who she'd been blocking the way of, pass into the little coffee shop. As she walked away from the Espresso Pump toward the Magic Box, she realized suddenly that William hadn't called her in over a week, and that worried her a bit. He had been doing pretty well at calling her at least every three days. She pushed the worry away though, hoping it was just the fact that he'd gotten busy. She did make a note that if he didn't call tonight, she would be calling him herself.

Buffy continued walking until she reached the alley behind The Magic Box. She was about to open the back door that led from the alley into the shop, when she glanced at her watch and noticed the time. She still had eleven minutes until she had to be back in there. So instead of going in, she turned around and headed for her car, which she had parked farther down the alley. She had tried to make a habit of going home and checking on Little Willy. Mostly so he didn't have an accident on the floor again, but also because she wanted to make sure he hadn't found Mr. Gordo. She'd almost killed the dog when she had came home one day to find him right behind the front door with Mr. Gordo hanging out his mouth by an ear. Buffy had scolded the dog but she hadn't trusted that the pig would continue to live if she didn't keep him hidden. Then last week the dog had found the cute little pink pig and Buffy had to re-hide it. Buffy unlocked her car door and got in. As long as she was quick about it, she should be able to make it back in time.

It didn't take long to get there and as she got out of her car, Mr. Trevor, the mailman, was coming up the walk. Buffy waved and waited for him to reach her. Mr. Trevor had been the Mailman for a long time and Buffy could remember him having lollipops when she was younger. She could remember waiting every day, passing the time until the mail came so she could get that small piece of candy. She couldn't remember exactly when she had stopped, but probably when she started school. Now she hardly ever saw him unless it was a day like today where she had come home early. Once he was in front of her, she smiled and reached her hand out to take the mail he was holding. He handed her several bills and a few pieces that looked like junk mail. "So Mr. Trevor, how has the Johnson dog been treating you?"

Buffy watched as Mr. Trevor pulled his pant leg up and showed a fresh bandage, covering over what must have been a new scratch. "Still trying to get fresh meat."

Buffy laughed, saying goodbye, and heading for the house. As Mr. Trevor walked away, one piece of mail caught her eye as it was missing a return address. She flipped the envelope over, making sure it hadn't been written on the back, but nothing. She opened the letter and pulled out one lone piece of paper folded into thirds. She started to unfold it when something dropped out. Before she could bend and pick up what had fallen, her eyes were drawn to the oddly shaped letters on the paper. The note had been printed in a bubble like style and as Buffy read she knew that she had a problem.

Your sister didn't listen and look where she ended up. I'd suggest you heed what I have to say. He is mine and you will pay for thinking you can have him. Leave him alone or follow your sister’s fate.

Buffy folded the letter back up and put it in the envelope. She started toward her car before remembering that something had fallen out of the letter when she first opened it. She bent down hoping whatever it had been hadn't been picked up in the breeze. Buffy found what she was looking for right below where she had been standing. Reaching down, she picked up another piece of paper. On a closer inspection she realized that it was a cut out paper doll.

The blonde doll was wearing a black dress exactly like the one Buffy had worn to Faith's funeral; it even had a butterfly in the middle of the bodice. Buffy remembered that she'd put a stick pin in the dress that day because the button had popped in her rush to get ready that morning. Buffy's eyes weren't drawn to any of those details though. She intently stared at two red marks, which marred both the front and back of the paper doll.

Buffy was struck with the realization that she was being watched, and that whoever was watching her wanted her dead. The tears filled her eyes before she could stop them and all she knew was she had to tell someone. She turned back to her car with all thoughts of Little Willy or her job gone from her mind. She headed for the police station.

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Giles stood behind the counter, waiting on a customer. Although he smiled at the customer it was a forced smile, he thanked them for shopping there and watched them leave. Giles looked at the clock again and realized Buffy was now twenty-five minutes late. He had been waiting for Buffy to show up so he could take his lunch.

Normally Buffy just stocked books on the shelves and made sure the boxes were in order in the basement, but around 1:30 to 2:00 each day, Giles took his lunch break, and left Buffy to mange the store. He had attempted to train Buffy as a sales girl from the beginning, but that had resulted in several close calls and other fiascos. So they had compromised; she only had to watch the store for about an hour to give Giles his break. The hour she covered was normally slow, so she didn't get overwhelmed. He had seen it as a fair compromise, and it also saved him money from experiencing any more broken shelves.

Giles stood behind the counter furious; Buffy was late, and although he was bit worried, anger had taken over instead. He wondered how that girl ever expected to keep a job in the future if she couldn't be punctual.

Giles picked up the duster from behind the counter and started dusting off the bookshelves. He dusted in a rather jerky way that signaled to just about anyone, even someone who didn't know him, that he was furious. As he worked his way around the shelves, only one customer had come in. They had left fairly quickly though, after Giles cursed rather loudly over a jar of marbles he'd spilt, while dusting behind them.

After working his way across the floor so as not to trip on the marbles, Giles turned the open sign to closed. Since Buffy hadn't shown yet – she was now forty minutes late – Giles decided to just close the shop for an hour. Giles reworked his way around the marble mess and went to get the broom. He had no sooner picked up the broom, then he heard the jingling of the bell over the door.

"Buffy if that's you, you’re fired." Giles stated gruffly, hoping she'd hear the disappointment in his voice. As he returned to the front of the shop, he found a man standing there instead.

"Well I don't know Giles, I might be able to pull off the girly voice, but I’d never be able to talk like Buffy."

"William! When did you get back?"

"Just now. Fred and Wes came home early."

"Let me guess something important happened at Wes' office and he just had to be there."

Giles watched a smirk form on William’s face before he answered. "Not really, more like Fred left something in the oven."

Giles wasn't quite sure what William meant by that statement, and was about to ask him to clarify it when the bell over the door again sounded, and there stood Buffy. It was exactly who Giles had wanted to speak to, but before he could even address her, Buffy was running toward William, and he guessed his lecture would have to wait.

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Minutes before, Buffy had parked her car in front of The Magic Box, gotten out of the car, and locked it. She had planned on telling Giles that she didn't feel good and was going home. As she walked to the door, she couldn't help but be more aware of her surroundings. She paid attention to every detail she could, even down to a flash of metal she saw out of the corner of her eye. She quickly realized it was only the sun reflecting off a nearby trash can lid. Buffy was stiff as she opened the door to the shop, figuring that Giles would be ready to ream her about punctuality, or her glaring lack thereof.

Instead, she heard voices as she walked in. It didn't take long for her eyes to adjust to the dimmer light of the shop, and when they had, all thoughts of Giles once again slipped her mind. There, not two feet away, stood William, and that was all she needed for her emotional walls to crumble.

Buffy ran straight for William and wrapped him into a tight hug, as tears began to course down her cheeks. She didn't think he had noticed though, because he was soon laughing and saying something about breathing. That's when she realized how tight of a hold she had on him. She loosened her grip a bit but still clung to William. Buffy took in a swift breath of air and was immediately comforted by the smell of bay-rum and something distinctly William. His arms holding her close just magnified the feeling of finally being safe.

William must have caught on that something was not right. "Hey Buffy, now, what’s wrong?" The statement was asked with a questioning lilt in his voice. William stepped back and gave Buffy an intense look with his own eyes, and Buffy watched as his smile faded. He had realized whatever was bothering her was serious. .

Suddenly Buffy wasn't sure what to say. Should she tell him or should she keep quiet? It had been her sister’s mistake of not telling anyone about the letters that had probably gotten her killed. So she decided not to do what her sister had done and hide.

Buffy approached William once more, and hugged him tightly, hoping to gain enough strength to get through the explanation. When she stepped back, only one thing ran through her mind. No matter what, she would not let those letters ruin her life.