Spike scooped Buffy up and looked around the room, he was the only one awake, but he hadn't been watching the movie. He'd been listening to Buffy breathing softly in his arms and wondering what was going to happen now. There was a fifty-fifty chance that she would choose him. He looked down at her sleeping in his arms as he carried her to the spare room--live for the moment because they pass so quickly.

Depositing her on the little bed in her room, he sat next her and ran his fingers through her golden hair. She murmured quietly and he stood up and drew the covers over her clothed form. Spike locked the door that lead onto the hallway and then walked through the door that joined his room with hers, making sure it was left wide open. He locked the door in his room that adjoined the hall.

Spike stripped down and slid under the covers. He listened hard for the sound of Buffy snoring softly in the other room. It would have been so easy to put her in his bed but he knew it was best that she made her own decisions about their relationship. Buffy was definitely the kind of girl that backed away and closed up if you pushed her.

In the middle of the night Spike was vaguely aware of someone slipping under the covers next to him, he took a deep sleepy breath and registered that it was Buffy. Turning onto his side, Spike pulled her flush against his body and spooned her. Kissing her neck softly, he smiled and drifted off to sleep again.

On waking early the next day Spike looked down at Buffy in his arms, she had rolled over in the night to face him and was now holding him tightly around the waist. Stroking her hair he wondered how she was going to cope when everything came to a head. She would have to talk to Angel at some point and her father would call her when he received the credit card bill. At least her mother liked him and Spike knew that a mother's opinion meant a lot to little girls.

After watching her for a few minutes Spike gently slipped his arms from around her and planted a kiss on her lips before heading to the bathroom.

Buffy awoke to the sound of shouting in the other room; she stretched and yawned as she padded to the bathroom. Letting the warm water rush over her she heard fragments of the guys shouting at something. Trying to single out Spikes voice it wasn't very hard when she heard the swearing, Buffy giggled into her hand.

When she had awoken alone in the spare room last night Buffy had felt cold. She'd been dreaming that Angel had come to Oxford with her father and they'd pressed her into ending whatever relationship she had with Spike. It had made her wake up in a cold sweat with fear running along every inch of her, and it was made worse when she realised Spike wasn't next to her.

Slipping into her nightdress Buffy had immediately walked into his room. He had been sleeping peacefully on his back but when she snuck into the bed next to him he had pulled her so tight to him that all her worries had melted away. Buffy had drifted off into a deep serene sleep when she could feel him next to her.

Buffy shut the water off and tried to think, all her thoughts became muddled as she dried her herself down with a towel. She liked him, but technically she was going out with Angel, but Angel didn't love her the way she needed to be loved and there was a possibility that Spike did love her that way. Buffy pouted at herself in the mirror, she needed Willow.

Walking into the living room half an hour later, Buffy saw what the shouting was about. The guys were all crowded around the TV watching football and she focused her attention on Spike.

"Morning kitten." Spike looked up at her and then turned back to the TV.

"We were starting to think you were going to sleep the day away." Mike smiled at her from the other couch.

Buffy stretched and settled herself next to Spike, who slipped his arm about her shoulder and let his eyes smile into hers.

"What time is it?" Buffy looked at the TV as the little man blew a whistle.

"Half time." Spike grinned and stood up. "Hungry?"

"Orange juice?" Buffy smiled hopefully and Spike nodded then headed to the kitchen.

Looking over at Oz she mouthed 'half time?' and he smiled at her.

"Soccer, great Boxing day tradition." He moved to sit on the couch near her.

"You guys sure have a lot of traditions." Buffy took the orange juice from Spike as he leant over the back of the couch; she smiled as he rested the side of his head against hers.

Pulling her phone form her pocket she flicked it open, a little message icon was flashing at her. Opening the text she saw it was from Willow, she was landing tonight at 8:15. Buffy showed it to Spike and he nodded, then took a deep breath and pushed off the couch.

She let her eyes follow him around the room, he looked heavy in thought and Buffy knew it was probably all about her and their current situation. She realised they both knew that their little bedroom scene yesterday had been a bad way to start whatever relationship they were going to have together.

As he passed her, Buffy caught his hand and he stopped to look down at her, she clearly echoed his own thoughts in her eyes as he sat down next to her. Closing her eyes she curled up next to him and sought sanctuary in his embrace. Spike wrapped his arms about her tightly like she was slipping away from him; Buffy traced her fingers down his shoulder and raised her eyes to meet his.

"It's good now." Spike smiled into them, knowing what she was thinking, he lifted his sleeve to show her and was rewarded by a warm smile.

"It's all good." Buffy found balance within herself and cupped his cheek in her hand, he looked at her with ardour as he caught her meaning--they would be okay.

Spike kissed her hair softly and was surprised when Buffy craned her neck upwards for a proper kiss. Smiling down at his kitten he held her tightly and gently kissed her lips, Buffy smiled and snuggled up to his chest again. Sighing Spike turned his attention to the second half of the football match and tried hard to ignore the childish expressions Mike and Gary were pulling.

As the final whistle blew, Spike's friends stood and gathered up their belongings. Buffy looked up at Spike with an expression that said 'do I have to go?' and he just shook his head in the negative.

Buffy stood and wrapped Oz in a hug; smiling into his eyes, she caught a look from him that was questioning.

"She lands at 8:15, I think if you asked her she'd be available tomorrow afternoon for a coffee." Buffy raised her eyebrows at him and wiggled them mischievously.

Oz smiled warmly at her and touched her arm softly. "Thanks."

"Anytime, sad Willow makes for sad Buffy." She gave a furtive look towards Spike.

"In our best interests to keep both of you happy then. Oz, I demand you make her happy Willow again." Spike smiled at his friend then turned to Buffy with a gentle look in his eyes. "Gather your stuff kitten, let's go get Red."

Buffy exchanged farewells with Gary and then Mike, he smiled as he told her he imagined he'd be seeing a lot of her at the museum. It caused Buffy to blush and she made her excuses as she headed to her room.

Packing all her stuff back into her bag she took a look around both her room and Spikes, she heaved a sad sigh as she stood in his room. Although she'd only spent one night sleeping next to him she knew that come tonight she was going to miss him badly. It made her heart heavy that she couldn't stay; Buffy reasoned with herself that it would be a bad idea to spend another night with him when she wasn't truly available, yet.

Chewing on her lip she mulled over how she was going to tell Angel, they had known each other since he joined her fathers company five years ago and had been going out for just over a year. He was meant to be coming down in a few weeks for her birthday, she owed it to herself to be strong and tell him.

Buffy sat on the edge of Spikes bed, listening to the sounds of people leaving. Cradling her head in her hands, she felt like she was drowning, she'd never had to deal with this before. All her past boyfriends had been more like passing fancies, no real emotions involved. Now she held in her balance the feelings of two men she really cared about, but only one of them was going to make it through this with her. She secretly feared that she would end up with neither of them.

As she thought it over it became clear to her that the person she was most scared of hurting, most scared of losing, was Spike. Angel would be hurting, but wouldn't let it show in the same way Spike would, he would be collected about it, and he would cope. If she hurt Spike she knew it would be the opposite, angry words and a temper like a volcano, threatening to consume her.

But Buffy couldn't get past the fact that Angel would be hurt, he wouldn't show it, he would keep it inside but he would be suffering and it cut her like a knife. Choking back tears, Buffy felt shaky as a small voice in her said that she won't do it, she will falter at the first hurdle and everyone would end up miserable because she couldn't be strong.

Spike leant in the doorway and watched Buffy, she was struggling against an invisible force and to him it looked like she was losing. Remembering his promise that he wouldn't interfere, Spike stuck to it, until she sobbed into her hands.

He was kneeling before her in a flash, cradling her closed up form in his arms and smoothing her hair in an attempt to calm her. Spike felt like he'd just been stabbed through his heart when she looked up at him, tears staining her pale cheeks.

"Kitten, don't cry." Spike wiped the tears from her face with his fingers.

"I can't do this, I'm not strong enough." Buffy was trembling but as his eyes met hers his gentle look melted her.

"You can, I know you're strong. People have led you around by the hand all your life, time to stand on your own two feet Buffy, stand tall and strong like the woman I know you are inside. You're amazing kitten, full of fire and grace, passion and love burn in you. Draw strength from them, be the girl I know you can be if you break free and decide what you want for a change." Spike watched her lower lip trembling at him; he cupped her cheek in his hand and stroked it delicately.

"I can do this, you're right. I've spent my whole life being the perfect daughter, making sure everyone else is happy. It's my turn, I have to be me and not the little miss perfect everyone expects me to be." Buffy smiled at him, she was thankful that his speech had been impartial and purely about her, she'd been expecting something about Angel and him.

Spike felt relieved when she smiled at him, he wasn't one for making great speeches and was glad it seemed to have cheered her up a little. He believed that she was a strong person underneath that exterior; she'd just locked it away inside because of years of being led like a lamb.

"Take a moment. I'll get the car… you'll be okay though right?" He looked up at her with concern and it was her turn to be the comforter.

"Honestly? I think I'm going to be just fine. Might be miserable for a week but…" She sighed and ran the backs of her fingers down his cheek. "That's why you're here and that's why I need Willow, my two comfortadors."

Spike sighed and kissed her forehead. Turning back to face her as he reached the door, he felt warm inside when she managed a true Buffy smile. This coming week was going to hell on them both; he was already spending most of his waking hours thinking about the fifty-fifty chance that she would choose to stay with Angel.

Shutting the front door behind him, Spike walked out of the building and up the street to the garages. Buffy had moved to stand in the window and watched him go, things were going to get complicated and she knew it.

As she turned to head back into the room a person in the street caught her attention, her stomach twisted into a knot and she felt validated. Things were already getting complicated. The person looked up at her in the window and Buffy tried not to let her panic show, if the psycho bitch wanted to come up and fight she wasn't going to stop her.

Darting to the kitchen Buffy pulled out every drawer in search of the knife, on discovering it she hurriedly tidied up the mess and then walked calmly into the living room. Settling herself casually on the sofa Buffy held the handle of the knife so the blade was lying flush against her under arm.

A knock at door gave Buffy enough time to steel herself.

"Come in." She used her sweetest tone and didn't bother to look up as the door swung open.

"Who are you?" Drusilla slinked into the room and toyed with her choker.

"Who are you?" Buffy echoed as she stood, making sure her knife was still concealed, she noticed Drusillas eyes widen as if she recognised her.

"Sunshine. Grrrrr." Her voice had lost all sweetness and she edged sideways across the room.

Buffy stayed rooted to the spot, turning slightly so Spikes ex couldn't get the jump on her. Everything suddenly made sense--Drusilla had seen her before and had labelled her as sunshine, now she thought that her ex lover was in love with sunshine, in love with her?

"What have you done with my boy?" Drusillas voice was sweet again as she swayed in one spot.

"Made him mine." Buffy frowned and gripped the knife tight, maybe she shouldn't have let her into the flat, Spike was going to kill her if he found out.

"He's mine, nasty little witch, you've cast your spell on him to make him yours… he'll never be yours, always mine." Drusilla advanced a step and raised her hands like claws in front of her.

"Back off bitch or I'll make sure you don't hurt him again." Buffy pulled the knife out from behind her back and Drusilla hissed at it.

"It was you, tweeting like a little bird in my sweet Williams cage." She advanced again and Buffys grip on the knife tightened.

"I admit it, I was in his room. Thanks to your little act I ended up with a more romantic evening than was actually planned." Buffy moved the knife to her other hand and took a step towards Drusilla--if she was mad right now Buffy couldn't wait to see how pissed off she'd be when she stopped talking. "See, we were just going to a gig, friends and nothing more. Then you stab him, I look after him, we get a movie and ice cream, settle on the couch and it's been romantic ever since. The best bit was this Christmas together, been here since Christmas eve and he gave me one hell of a Christmas present, man with that much talent shouldn't be let go so easily. I mean, woah in the bedroom and we didn't even touch kinky yet so I think I'm going to stick around. The man rides like a stallion and he's passionate to boot, but you know what--you let all that go and I'm actually thankful. But I'm not going to actually thank you, instead I'll settle for telling you to take your skanky ass and get the hell out of his flat."

Drusilla looked like she was about to blow steam out of her ears, she was clenching her fists with her eyes narrowed on Buffy.

Buffys heart was pounding hard against her chest, she felt strong and invincible. The door to the flat was still open and she heard a car pull up outside, the momentary distraction was all it took for Drusilla to get the knife out of her hand.

Footsteps in the stairwell told Buffy that Spike was approaching-- there was no way in hell that Drusilla was going to look like the strong woman in this contest, not after the effort she put into her little speech.

As Spike reached the top of the stairs he saw the front door open, turning the corner his eyes widened at the sight of Buffy and Drusilla facing off. He was about to rush in to stop them when Drusilla made a lunge for Buffy.

"No!" His heartbeat smashed against the back of his eyes as he yelled.

As he started into the flat he could only think of saving Buffy, but as the scene unfolded in front of him it turned out his kitten wasn't as kitteny as she lead to believe.

Buffy dropped low as she tucked her arms in against her chest and span around, bringing her leg out as she went, she kicked the knife out of Drusillas hand, causing her to scream. The sound of it went straight through Buffy and made her feel sick. Bringing her foot to rest on the floor, she shot her fist out in a right hook that knocked the screaming Drusilla to the ground.

Standing above her, Buffy straightened her hair out and scowled down at her. "He is not yours, bitch."

Buffy felt exhilarated as she turned to Spike who tackled her into a hug. "Jesus Buffy, scare a man to death why don't you?"

She looked down at Drusilla, crumpled up on the floor and looking scared. Buffy actually felt sympathetic towards her until she tried to reach for the knife. Spike released Buffy and picked up the offending weapon.

"Dru, pet. Get the hell out of my flat." Spike sounded like his patience was wearing thin.

Watching Drusilla slink back out of the flat, Buffy sighed and walked towards the bedrooms again.

"Not so fast little missy." Catching her arm, Spike spun her around to face him. "Where the hell did you learn that?"

"Years of martial arts lessons when I was at High School, LA is dangerous you know." She smiled up at him and continued walking towards where her stuff was piled up.

Spike shook his head in disbelief, all this time he'd been so protective of her because she looked so defenceless, turned out she was more of a lioness than a kitten.

Buffy reappeared with her bags and Spike took them off her, stroking her cheek softly, he sighed into her eyes.

"Had me worried there." He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of her steady breathing.

"Just protecting my interests." She pressed her lips against his softly and pulled him close to her.

Spike clenched his jaw and held her tight against him, wondering if she realised how much she meant to him and just how scared he'd been. Releasing her from his arms, he sighed again and she caught hold of his hand, holding it firmly in hers.

He smiled down at their hands clasped together then led her to the door, flicking the lights off and locking the door he watched her walking down the stairs towards the car.

When he found her outside she was staring at his car with her mouth open.

"That out classes me?" Buffy looked affronted.

"Didn't say that, said maybe she out classes you." Spike loaded her bags into the trunk and slammed it shut.

Buffy looked the car over again and then looked at Spike. "Does she?"

"No. Nobody out classes my kitten." He scooped her into his arms and rained kisses down on her forehead, when he pulled back she was smiling at him.

"Spike, it's a Desoto I seriously doubt that it would out class anyone." She giggled then ran around and hopped into the passenger seat. Buffy couldn't deny it suited him, a nice big black car to match his bad boy look.

Spike slid into the driver's side and grinned at her. Buffy sidled closer and let her head come to rest on his shoulder as they pulled away, she couldn't wait to see Willow.

"Willow!" Buffy waved her hands frantically at her friend and Spike wore a look that said 'please shoot me before I die from embarrassment'.

Willow smiled when she spotted them, heading over she wrapped Buffy in a tight hug and made a small choking noise when she was hugged back even tighter.

"Spike." Willow waved a little 'hello' to Spike as Buffy held her securely.

"Red." Spike nodded and gathered up her suitcases to put them on the trolley they'd been looking after.

"I'm so glad you're back, I missed you." Buffy pouted at her, then stood on the back of the trolley.

Turning to Spike, she grinned like a kid and he rolled his eyes before placing his hands firmly on the handles either side of her, pushing the trolley along with her stood on it.

"Good Christmas?" Willow looked to both of them and Buffy went the colour of beetroot, while Spike averted his eyes. "I see."

"How about you Red? Not so happy holidays?" Spike gave her a concerned look and she shrugged.

"Knew it was coming, still doesn't prepare you for it." Willow gave Buffy a knowing look and she visibly sagged under the invisible pressure of Angel.

"Lets get you ladies home so you can have a nice long girly chat." Spike smirked at them both; Willow smiled at Buffy who tried to smile back but faltered.

Picking up on her falling back into miserable thoughts, Spike gently rubbed his thumbs against her hands where they rested on the handles. Willow noticed the tender touches Spike was giving to Buffy and looked up at her friends face, Buffy looked a little brighter as she watched the small contact between her and Spike. Willow smiled inwardly over the way he seemed to know just the right things to cheer her friend up, after what she'd been through with Xander she was wishing that Oz had been there to pick her up too.

"Oz wanted to know if you would be in the mood for coffee tomorrow afternoon, after you and kitten here have caught up with each other." Spike smiled at Willow as his thumbs continued to caress Buffys hands.

Willow looked up at him with a slightly shocked expression--maybe it wasn't just Buffy he could read like a book. "Sure, it would be great. I mean, I'd love to."

Buffy watched her friend beaming and it warmed her heart a little, she was glad Willow was back, she had a feeling she was going to need some major girl time before this thing was over.

Trying to reach over and grab her friend in a hug as they walked, she only managed to make the trolley swerve and almost hit a passer by. Spike stopped with a sigh and lifted Buffy down; she immediately wrapped Willow into a big hug. He couldn't fool himself; she was going to need a lot more from her friend than just hugs to get her through this.

Spike started walking again and felt warm inside as Buffy caught hold of him, slipping in between his arms she stepped up on the back of the trolley again. Not letting him set off she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly.

"I'll get through this, I'm strong like you said but most of all, I can't be without you." She whispered in his ear and felt his arms wrap around her in a warm embrace, he kissed her neck softly then set her back down on the trolley.

Willow gave them both an embarrassed look but couldn't help thinking that Buffy never showed this much emotion around Angel.

"Let's get you two home, before these raging female hormones kill me. They cause my testosterone levels to drop and before you know it I'm doing girly things." Spike grinned at Buffy and Willow, both smiling at him.

"Like painting your nails?" Buffy poked at his hands and he raised one for inspection, chipped black nail varnish adorned his fingernails.

"Bloody hell, it's begun…" He ran for the exit with Buffy still standing on the trolley, turning back he looked at Willow running along behind them and smiling. "Keep up Red, I have to escape the clutches of evil oestrogen."

Willow and Buffy both giggled as he slowed down by the car then opened the doors for them, ushering them into the back seat like it was a limousine.

The journey home saw Buffy and Willow laughing at all the cracks Spike made. He was thankful that the little red head always managed to make his kitten happy. When they arrived at the dorms, he unpacked the trunk and as Buffy carried her bags to the entrance hall, he took the opportunity to talk to Willow alone.

"Red, do me a favour?" He smiled nervously at her as he locked the trunk.

"Sure." She smiled back at him.

"Look after her." He nodded towards Buffy who was walking back towards them.

"Don't worry, I will." She touched Spike's arm and gave him a warm smile--he was exactly the kind of guy she wanted for Buffy, someone who showed more emotion than Angel ever would.

"So." Buffy stopped in front of Spike as he leant against the driver's door of his car.

"Anytime you need me, just call." Spike stroked her cheek and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Anytime?" She pressed her cheek against his chest and held him close so she could hear his heart beating.

"Anytime, for any reason." Spike kissed her hair and breathed in her scent. "Better go."

She pulled herself away from him and watched him get into the car, leaning into the window she kissed him chastely and smiled. Buffy felt like she was losing the battle against the overwhelming tide of emotion, tears were welling up and she didn't know how long she could hold them back.

Spike clenched his jaw and put his foot down on the gas, promising himself he wouldn't look back, as he turned the corner he couldn't stop his eyes from roaming back up the street to where she still stood.

As his car went out of sight Buffy felt the floodgates open and let her head fall forward as the first sob pushed its way out of her. She felt Willows arm slip around her shoulders and she was being guided into the dorms.

Buffy felt too tired to talk to her friend straight away and Willow was looking a little jet lagged. Settling in with a cup of tea and watching some TV, it wasn't long before Willow had dozed off and Buffy was left in silence.

The longer she put off breaking up with Angel the harder it was going to be, sighing, she wrapped her dressing gown around herself tightly and picked up her phone. The clock on the bedside table told her it was gone two in the morning, in LA it would still be early evening.

Putting on her fluffy slippers, she quietly left the room and started pacing the hall, the whole building was silent and Buffy wondered that if she started talking, would everyone be able to hear her?

Walking down the stairs, she settled herself near the main entrance of the building, it was less likely people would hear her down there but she had to pay the price by freezing.

Pressing two on her speed dial, Buffy felt saddened that Angel would soon have to rank lower in her numbers. Holding the phone to her ear she listened to it ringing, her stomach was like a hurricane; whirling around inside her and making her feel sick.

"Hello?" It was Angel, Buffy couldn't find her voice, she just made a small noise. "Buffy?"

"Angel, we need to talk." Buffy felt panicked, closing her eyes she thought about what Spike would be doing right now. She settled on imagining him sleeping and scratching his chest as he rolled over to pull her close to him.


When Buffy finally headed back upstairs it was with a heavier heart and sore eyes, she'd been talking for two hours but it was still dark out and thankfully no one had stirred in the dorms.

Pushing the door open quietly all she could think of was sleep, the deep release of sleeping and hopefully dreaming her way out of this room and into someone's warm arms. The door creaked as she turned to shut it; she instantly cursed it as she froze.

"Buffy, that you?" Willow sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Yeah Will, go back to sleep." Buffy sat down on the bed and pulled her slippers off, trying to get some warmth back into her toes by rubbing them.

Her friend squinted at her, the light from the moon outside was bright and illuminated Buffy's tired face.

"What's wrong?" Willow shifted over and patted her bed.

Taking her dressing gown off, Buffy slipped under the covers next to her friend and lay down.

"I couldn't leave it any longer." She sighed out.

"You broke up with Angel?" Willow put her arms around Buffy and held her tightly, Buffy was amazed that she didn't cry as she nodded in confirmation of her friend's question.

Willow lay holding Buffy for a while and watched the moon, she was thinking about Xander and seeing Oz tomorrow. Taking it slow was definitely better than Buffy and Spikes little way of rushing straight in.

"I need some sleep, I'll feel better in the morning." Buffy slipped out of Willow's bed and into her own. Wrapping her arms around one of her pillows she looked over at the redhead. "I miss him."

"Spike? Don't worry, I'm pretty sure you'll see him tomorrow. Get some sleep or you'll be all puffy eyed Buffy and we wouldn't want that now." Willow stifled a yawn and as she let her head rest softly on the pillow she remembered what Spike had said to her. Look after her.

Willow forced herself to stay awake and a few moments later all she could hear was Buffy's soft snoring, looking over at her she saw her friend snuggled up to a pillow and sound asleep. Willow closed her eyes and let herself drift back off.

The next day Buffy was still asleep when Willow woke up, stretching as she lay in her bed she contemplated what the day held in store for her. She would be able to have a good heart to heart with Buffy and that would be comforting to both of them, plus she needed to hear all the sordid details of what happened with Christmas at Spike's. Then she was going to meet Oz in the afternoon, he'd called last night before they'd gone to bed and asked her to meet him down Borders café. Willow got the feeling she was going to be drinking a lot of tea today.

Sitting up in bed she turned the radio on and looked over at Buffy, still holding the pillow tightly but now stirring in her sleep. By the time Willow made it out of bed Buffy was waking up.

"Morning sleepyhead, feeling better?" Willow sat on the end of her bed, wash bag firmly grasped in her hand.

"Not really. Feel lousy, can we go somewhere to talk other than here? Spike showed me this adorable café and I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you knew about it." Buffy looked a little perkier on mentioning the café so Willow agreed, anything to fulfil both hers and Spike's wishes of looking after her friend.

Exiting the taxi at the top of North Parade, Buffy couldn't stop her mind from replaying the night Spike had bought her there. She smiled as she remembered what a good night it had been until Angel had rung, but Spike had taken her home and looked after her as best he could. She missed him, her insides felt like they kept pulling her - one minute it would be Angel and then the next moment it would be Spike, it was like an emotional tug of war.

Standing outside the little café, Buffy looked at Willow to gauge her reaction and then headed in, Willow took in her surroundings with wide eyes.

"Wow, it's so lovely, so bohemian, so very…not Spike." Willow smiled at her friend and Buffy giggled, it was a reassuring sound to hear.

"That's so what I said, but he countered with this whole sanctuary thing." Buffy interlocked her arm with Willows and walked up to the little bar.

"Hello ladies, what can I get you?" Willy smiled at them as they stared at the chalkboard menu.

"Hi Willy, can we get two cappuccinos and…a couple of those double choc muffins?" Buffy smiled at him and a look of recognition crossed his face.

"Spike's friend? Sure, coming right up." He grinned then turned away from them.

Taking the coffees a few minutes later, Buffy settled down onto the same couch she had sat on with Spike. Slipping her shoes off, she bought her feet up onto it and leant her side into the back of the couch.

"It's so nice here, homely. Do you think Spike would mind if I bought Oz here--he'd love it." Willow settled into the couch facing Buffy.

"I can't see why not, it's not like I told Oz so he couldn't be mad at me." She sighed as she thought about it, wondering what Spike was up to at that moment, he'd mentioned having to work on something at the museum so she imagined him preening cases of artefacts.

"You okay?" Willow caught the far away look in Buffy's eyes and worried it was about Angel.

"Fine, Spike, thinking about what he's up to." Buffy sipped her drink and smiled at the vision of Spike emptying his pockets of a million sachets of sugar.

"At least you're happy." Willow sounded relieved and Buffy couldn't help but notice it.

"Yeah, being here is comforting, kinda like Spike said it was." Buffy smiled but her thoughts slipped to Angel and her face fell into an expression of sadness.

"Aww Buffy, it gets easier. How'd he take it?" Willow rubbed her friends knee as she watched her.

"Pretty well, too calmly in fact. That's exactly what's worrying me, he'll be all calm about it so I worry and call him, I can't do that Will, I have to be strong now. He's going to tell my father, I know it and then they'll gang up on me just like in my dream. And oh God, what if Angel mentions Christmas, dad's going to get his credit card bill soon and I'm so dead when he does."

"Slow down, I'm getting lost, one thing at a time…you can't call him because it's obvious he is trying to get you to call, like you need him. So be strong Buffy, I know you can do it, think about what you really want and it will help."

"I won't fall…just look out for me Will." Buffy picked at the corner of her muffin idly.

"I'm looking, now what's this about your father?" Willow looked confused so Buffy decided it was best to share a few things with her.

As she related the whole of the Christmas period, Willow's eyes grew wider and wider until Buffy thought they might pop out of her head. She kept stirring her cappuccino until it had no foam on it anymore, as Buffy wound up with the car journey to the airport Willow took a deep breath.

"So, you introduced Spike to your mother over the phone and spent over five hundred pounds of your fathers money on a guitar for him as revenge for your not being allowed to come home. Then you two um…made whoopy…then decided things should progress a little slower? Finishing with you picking me up from the airport and me just thinking you two were a little kissy kissy." Willow breathed a sigh of relief; Buffy certainly was one for rash decisions.

"You missed out the fact I kicked his psycho ex girlfriends butt in a knife fight." Buffy looked triumphant.

"I was trying to blank that bit out of my memory along with the sexcapades." Willow took a big mouthful of her coffee.

"Oh. Too much detail?" She blushed with embarrassment and was spared an answer by her phone ringing.

Pulling it out of her bag, Buffy felt sick, she handed it to Willow who read the screen and saw it was Angel. Buffy made frantic gestures with her hand that made it clear to Willow she didn't want talk to him. Willow sighed and flicked the phone open.

"Hello Angel, it's Willow."

"Willow, where's Buffy?" He sounded calm just like Buffy had said.

"She doesn't want to talk to you. I'm sorry." Willow felt awkward as she played the intermediary.

"Tell her we can figure this out, whatever the issue is we can work through it. Please?" A falter in his voice let Willow know he was hurting even if he wasn't showing it.

She clasped her hand over the phone and looked at Buffy, she was frantically shaking her head.

"I'm sorry Angel, she says no. Please don't make this any harder on her."

"Why Willow? Why? Just give me a reason, any reason, another man? She doesn't love me?" Angel sounded upset, Willow watched as Buffy's eyes filled with tears.

"She loved you Angel, but you didn't love her the way she needed." Willow felt herself welling up as she remembered how upset Xander had been.

"What do you know? I love her with all my soul."

"But you still left her alone, cold and empty and unloved Angel. You put her father before her, it isn't the kind of love she needs." Willow sighed as she looked up, the bell above the door rang and Spike walked in.

"Let me talk to her please. She knows I love her with everything I have."

"Angel, if you really love her like you say then move on and make it easier on her. Time heals all Angel, but you aren't giving it time." Willow let a tear slip onto her cheek as she watched Buffy curled up into a ball and sobbing. She was thankful Buffy hadn't noticed Spike walking to the bar with a look of concern on his face.

"Tell her I'll call her sometime, maybe in a week or two." Angel sounded calm again, and then the phone went dead.

Willow clicked it shut and put it onto the table besides Buffy. Sidling closer to her friend she wrapped her arms about her and stroked her hair gently. Turning her head to look at the bar, she saw Spike watching them with a concerned face, he raised his brows at her and she read the look.

He wanted to know if Angel and Buffy were over and the look that Willow gave him confirmed it. Buffy looked upset but she didn't look like she was crying too hard, she must have broken up with him last night and today was the aftermath. He didn't know what he was meant to do, waiting for a signal from Willow he sat at the bar and toyed with his coffee.

Willow lifted Buffy's chin to face her, she wiped the tears from her face and smiled at her.

"He says he'll call in a week or two, it's progress. He didn't sound like he was hurting too much." She smoothed Buffy's hair so it was behind her ear.

"Thanks, I couldn't talk to him. I feel terrible Willow." Buffy pouted at her friend and sniffled.

"I feel terrible too, Buffy. I have to go and meet Oz now but I do know something that will make you feel better." Willow stood up and looked down at Buffy.

"What?" Buffy frowned up at her.

Willow sidestepped and sneakily pointed towards the bar. "Kinda tall, blond and snuggly. Think he's waiting for an invite, so I'll make an exit and he'll come over."

Buffy's eyes widened at the sight of Spike toying with his drink at the bar, she didn't remember him coming in which probably meant he'd walked in when she had been crying. Willow placed a hand on her shoulder and then looked at Spike.

"All yours." She mouthed at him, then walked out the door.

"Hey." Spike stood by the couch and looked down at Buffy, she was frantically wiping her eyes.

"Sit?" She looked up at him, feeling shaky inside like she'd done something wrong and he wouldn't stay.

Spike bent down and put his mug on the table as he sat down on the couch, keeping a few feet between him and Buffy. Buffy stared at the distance between them; it looked like a million miles to her and it made her feel cold. She'd wanted him closer, giving her soft caresses and reassuring her that all the pain was worth it.

"Look like you need some sugar." Spike reached across and pushed her hair behind her ear, then magically produced two sachets of sugar. "Blimey."

Buffy giggled, it was like music to his ears as her whole face lit up. She couldn't help herself, he was being silly and that was what she needed, something to take her mind off things.

"How much sugar you got in there?" She watched him drink his coffee.

"Three, need sugar today. Had a nightmare unpacking some new crates, big spiders, you would've run for the hills." He grinned at her and felt warm inside when her eyes smiled back at him.

"And you didn't?" She took the two sachets of sugar he was still holding and poured them into her now lukewarm coffee.

"Didn't say that." He chuckled at her and held his arms open when a tiny flicker of pain entered her eyes. "Come here kitten."

Buffy sat down on his lap and curled up. It was warm and reassuring, she nuzzled his neck and wrapped her arms about him. Spike held onto her tightly, he'd missed her so much last night that it had hurt.

"I missed you." Buffy whispered by his ear, her voice trembling.

"Missed you too." Spike turned his head and rested it against hers so their noses were almost touching. "You okay?"

"I feel better now. It's going to take time like Willow keeps telling me. I'm just glad he isn't here, the fact he's such a long way away helps." Buffy smiled weakly.

"Anything else that helps? Let me know." Spike pulled back from her and was looking serious.

"There is something." Buffy looked mischievous.

"What's that then?"

"Spike lips, a little kiss?" She smiled coyly at him and he tilted his head and gave her a gentle look that made her melt inside.

Letting her eyes slip shut Buffy felt his lips brush hers and a thrill ran through her. She placed her hand on the back of his head and pulled him to her. He tensed up so she couldn't pull him closer, keeping his kisses soft and tender. Buffy pulled away and pouted.

"You don't want to?" Buffy looked worried and Spike ran his fingers down her cheek softly.

"I do, just tenderly, reassuringly, a deeper kind of passionately." Spike narrowed his eyes on hers and Buffy caught a look in them that spoke words of love.

She softly kissed him and it felt different, it was warming inside and her heart caught in her throat like she wanted to cry. Spike smiled and gently ran his hands around the back of her head as he kissed her. He felt like he could spend eternity just kissing her tenderly.

Buffy felt like every inch of her was wrapped in a warm soft blanket, it was like his gentle kisses were enveloping her. She let her emotions run free as she pulled back slightly and fixed her eyes on his, they were shining at her, clear blue and twinkling like stars. Spike tilted his head as she gazed into his eyes, her green orbs speaking to him as her emotions surfaced. They smiled at him and he couldn't help but feel overwhelmed, he swore he'd caught sight of love in the emotional mix that was playing in them.

Before he could narrow his eyes and try to read her feelings further she was kissing him again, softly and tenderly enough to let him know that it was definitely love in there somewhere. She broke the kisses off and rested her head by his neck.

"This is nice, think we started on the wrong foot." Buffy looked up at him and he nodded in agreement.

"Should probably have done things the Willow way." He smiled at her and she smiled back at him.

"We'll go slower, do the whole holding hands and kisses thing for a while until everything is settled down. Don't want to dive straight in, felt slutty after talking to Willow about Christmas." She ran her fingers down his chest and smiled as he caught her hand and locked his fingers with hers.

"Maybe we shouldn't have let it get that far but it was both of our faults not just yours, for now lets blame the mistletoe." Spike kissed her fingers where he held them in his.

"Mistletoe is evil." She smiled and rested her head against his chest.

Spike looked over at Willy and nodded his head then held up two fingers at him. Willy rolled his eyes at his captive friend and then turned and poured two cappuccinos. Walking over to them, he couldn't help but feel a little jealous over how the little blonde girl was so firmly attached to Spike and his lap.

"Only because you have your hands full, I'm not a waiter." He placed the two mugs down and grinned as he chucked a heap of sugar sachets onto the table.

"Thanks." Buffy smiled up at him warmly and Spike shrugged at Willy.

"Anytime miss." Willy smiled back at her and walked back toward the bar. Lucky son of a bitch.

"How do you feel about a nice quiet New Years, just me, you, Willow and Oz around my place?" Spike brushed her hair from her face.

"I'd love it."

Buffy pulled the door open, Willow and Oz beamed at her. Ushering them in, Buffy settled them on one of the couches and turned to watch Spike. He was walking over to them, his hands laden with drinks. Buffy smiled dreamily and sighed, he grinned as he passed her.

"So, what we doing?" Willow watched Buffy rifling through the DVDs.

"Well, the way things seem to happen around here is--Spike puts on a movie and we all fall asleep. It's like his DVD player emits this low frequency signal that makes us all drowsy." Buffy giggled.

"Sounds like fun. I could use a good sleep."

"Uh huh…" Buffy raised her brows and watched her friend blush.

Putting the DVD into the player, Buffy watched it slide in and bounced over to Spike. When she neared him, Spike pulled her down onto the couch and bit her neck playfully. Buffy wriggled in his lap, and then paused as their eyes met.

"Steady on kitten." Spike purred up at her and it was her turn to blush.

Slipping off his lap, Buffy curled up on the couch next to him, sitting sideways and letting her legs rest over his. Spike watched her, she snuggled up to his chest and he sighed.


Two movies later and midnight had been, and gone. Willow yawned and stretched where she sat on the couch. Oz smiled at her as she made a little noise in her throat.

"Sleepy?" Oz ran his fingers down her red hair.

"Little." Willow slipped her hand into his and pulled him up off the couch. "Bed time methinks."

"Couldn't agree more." Buffy lay back on the sofa and stretched, Spike stared at the thin strip of stomach that was exposed to him.

Standing up, Buffy offered her hand to Spike and he took it. It had been almost a week since she'd broken up with Angel; there had been a few phone calls from him but nothing more than that. Now she was finally getting to sleep next to Spike again--the past few days had been hell on them. Both of them had wanted to spend each night together but neither of them had found the courage to tell the other one, so every night they had gone to bed alone.

Leading Spike to his bedroom, Buffy turned as she reached the entrance and smiled at him. Spike smiled back at her. Locking the door behind them, he watched her as she undressed. Her movements were slow and sensual, teasing him with each piece of clothing that she removed. He arched a brow at her intentions.

Pulling his t-shirt off over his head, Spike walked towards the bed and unbuckled his belt. As she slipped under the bed covers, Buffy took a moment to soak in the sight of him again. She'd missed the sight of his bare chest and stomach, his well-defined muscles dancing with every movement he made.

Unbuttoning his jeans, Spike shimmied them down and smiled when Buffy smiled at him. As he crawled under the covers next to her he flicked the lights off and the moon outside softly illuminated the darkened room.

Buffy decided to make the first move, rolling over onto her side she put her hand under the covers and softly traced his stomach muscles. Leaning over, she kissed him softly and her lips tingled as he started to kiss her back.

Spike's strong hands glided over her skin, barely skimming her thigh as he moved them towards her waist. Buffy sighed at the feeling of his skin touching hers. Pulling her flush against him, he slowed their kisses until they turned lazy and soft. Lips brushing each other's gently, they let their mood carry them along.

Buffy deepened the kisses, letting her tongue play with his as she ran her hand down his stomach. Fingers coming to rest on his cock, she teased it slowly into hardness. Spike moaned quietly into her mouth and cupped her breast.

Moving down the bed under the sheets, he kissed down her chest and pulled her soft nipple into his mouth. Nipping it gently, Spike suckled it until it firmed up. He pushed Buffy onto her back and applied his mouth to her other nipple, her fingers wound into his hair and she moaned softly.

Tenderly kissing and sucking on her stomach, Spike worked his way down further down, taking the covers with him and exposing Buffy's naked form to the pale moonlight. He ran his tongue around her navel as his fingers slipped into her enticingly wet folds, seeking out her clit he circled it gently. Buffy's fingers grasped him tighter and her knee rubbed against his cock. Spike smiled.

Positioning himself between her legs, Spike continued to kiss downwards until he reached the start of her trimmed curly hair. He looked up at her and sighed, she had her back arched and the blue light of the moon made her skin shine.

"Beautiful…" Spike breathed.

Buffy looked down at him, thankful that he was looking up at her and not at her groin. She blushed and let her head fall back again as Spike parted her nether lips.

Darting his tongue in, he inhaled deeply--she smelt and tasted glorious. Tart honey and lemons were all he could think of as he licked down towards her opening, exploring every inch of her. Buffy moaned as he probed her heated depths with his tongue--her body ached for him to be in there.

Running his tongue back up to her nub, Spike sucked it like it was a nipple and teased it with his teeth.

"Spike…" Buffy moaned hotly, making sure she kept her volume down so Willow didn't hear.

Spike responded to her moan by flattening his tongue against her and licking her harder.

"Ohh…Spike…"

The sound of his name on her lips caused him to become painfully hard, he grasped her thighs a little tighter in his hands. Buffy rolled her eyes closed and concentrated on the feeling of Spike's warm tongue teasing her arousal. Stretching across she yanked his drawer open and fumbled about.

"Looking for something?" Spike's head popped up and he watched her intently.

"Maybe…" Buffy blushed at being caught rifling through his drawers, on finding what she was looking for she pulled out the little foil packet.

"I see…" He felt like teasing her about her decision that they were going that far, but his thoughts were lost when she sat up and ran her warm hand down his length.

Holding his cock firmly, Buffy ran her thumb over its head and smeared the pearly drop of pre-come. Bringing her thumb to her mouth, she sucked it, her face innocent. Spike arched a brow and watched her with hooded eyes. Removing her thumb from her mouth, Spike pulled her to him and kissed her, letting her taste herself on his tongue. Buffy clawed his chest softly and mewled into his mouth.

"Kitten…" Spike smiled as he slid his hand down into her wet folds again.

"Spike…" She purred up at him, her fingers stroking his length.

Before Spike had a chance to realise what she was up to, Buffy had the condom slipped onto him and had pulled him down on top of her.

"Little eager tonight, love…" He looked down at her below him; she blushed slightly under his gaze.

"My body missed yours…"

Catching him around the back of his head, she pulled him down for a long, deep kiss. Spike poised himself at her entrance, when she mewled up at him he slid into her. He'd missed her body too.

Wrapping her legs around his hips, Buffy let their kisses turn languid. Spike rocked his hips gently against hers, slipping into her and out again with ease.

As they moved together, Buffy felt like they were breathing a piece of their souls into each other--that it was more than their bodies intertwining. Spike pulled back and looked into her eyes as though he'd been reading her thoughts. He thrust up a little harder inside her and she rolled her eyes.

"Mmm…" She moaned lazily, her fingers dancing on his back.

When Spike delved into her again, Buffy tensed her muscles up, encasing his cock in her tight hot depths.

"Oh…god…Buffy…" Spike breathed into her ear, his hips moving and giving her longer strokes.

"Spike…more…"

As Buffy ended her moan, Spike recaptured her mouth and kissed her passionately. She squeezed him tight with her thighs, revelling in the feeling his cock was giving to her. The sensation in her abdomen was delicious, warm tingles were dancing around inside her.

Picking up his rhythm, Spike moved faster inside her, moaning breathily into her mouth each time she clenched her muscles around his length, then unclenched them.

"Close…" Buffy purred up at him, Spike clenched his jaw and staved off his own orgasm.

Mouth crushing hers, he delved his cock into her, plundering her with deep, hard strokes. She raised her ass off the bed and tightened her muscles, begging her orgasm to hit her. His pelvic bone rubbed against her swollen arousal with each meeting of their hips, Buffy was so tight that he couldn't hold off much longer.

Setting his jaw tight he moved his head so it rested against her neck. Holding her close to him, Spike moved faster against her, burying himself to the hilt with each deep stroke of his cock. Buffy moaned harshly each time his tip struck up inside her, little waves of tingles raced along her nerve endings and she felt like she was going to explode.

One last thrust sent her over the edge; she clung to Spike and moaned breathily into his ear as she came. Her juices slathering his cock, Spike grasped her tighter and delved into her, riding out the feeling of her walls contracting around him. Buffy tensed her muscles up hard and Spike came into the rubber, his strokes slowing as he spilled himself.

Collapsing onto her, he panted into her ear before kissing her cheek. Buffy let her head roll to one side and kissed his bruised lips, his cock throbbed gently inside her.

Pushing himself up onto his knees, Spike gave her a wide smile before disappearing into the bathroom. Buffy pulled the covers over herself and waited for his return, a contented feeling washed through her when he reappeared. Snuggling up against her, Spike held her head to his chest and kissed her forehead.

"My kitten." He breathed softly.

"My Spike." Buffy kissed his chest.

"My god!" Willow moaned hotly in the other room, Buffy and Spike giggled.

Buffy passed into the new year a happy girl, when she'd checked her phone the next day the only communication she'd had from Angel was a text message wishing her a happy new year. In the next week, however, she got an angry phone call from her father about the money she had spent on Christmas presents. Buffy countered him by saying that maybe next time he should let her come home.

It was fast approaching her birthday bash now and she was looking forward to hearing the song that Zero had been practicing. Spike had admitted he didn't write it and she'd told him it was the thought that counted, so long as it was nicer than the last song he sang to her she'd be happy.

Willow was happily dancing about the room and Buffy giggled at her.

"I don't think I've ever seen you this happy, it's my birthday I'm meant to be the happy one." Buffy smiled to herself as she watched Willow spinning around the room.

"I can't believe he put me on the guest list, this years great! Now that we're all officially boyfriends and girlfriends do you think we could all go out for dinner sometime?" Willow sat on the edge of her bed and caught her breath.

"Double date? Can't see why not." Buffy turned her attention back to painting her nails.

"Spike working today?" Willow eyed her friend suspiciously; she was certainly making a fuss over herself.

"Yes and I may be dropping in to see him. See if I can get it out of him what he got me for my birthday." She grinned mischievously and screwed the lid back on the nail varnish.

"I see, you just can't wait another few hours to find out?" Willow shook her head and smiled as she put stuff into her bag.

"Meh." Buffy poked her tongue out and blew on her nails, then slipped her feet into her shoes.

She sat for a moment mulling something over in her head, taking a deep breath she turned to Willow with a nervous look.

"Will, if I stayed over summer and got in to the masters next year would you stay too?" Buffy watched as her friend turned to look at her with disbelief.

"This decision have something to do with a certain blond guy?" Willow sat next to her and watched for a reaction, Buffy pouted.

"Maybe, partly. I don't want to go home this summer, I'd rather be here." She looked hopefully at her friend.

"Of course I'd stay for the summer, you think I would rather be at home?" Willow rolled her eyes at the thought of having to go back to her parent's house. "Does Spike know you want to stay?"

"No, I haven't really decided yet. Dad wants me to come home but I think if I tell him I want to have some freedom and that you're here he wouldn't go off the deep end."

"We'll talk more later, I'm meant to be meeting Oz in the park. Walk with me to the gates?" Willow raised her brows and Buffy nodded then gathered up her stuff.


Having seen Willow safely to the park Buffy strolled along the frosty path to the museum, watching her breath catch in the air. She put her hands in her pockets and thought over the idea of staying in Oxford with Spike. Part of the reason she didn't want to go home was because Angel would show up and she didn't know how she would feel if she saw him again.

Walking down the steps into the museum she smiled at the girl behind the shop counter and continued in to find Spike. She watched him from a distance as she rearranged something in one of the cases on the first floor. He was swearing at it and didn't notice her standing there. Buffy sighed at the sight of him, he was frowning intensely at whatever he was doing and it made him even more handsome.

If she saw Angel this summer she feared she would crumble, she couldn't lose Spike but Angel would be convincing and her father would pressure her. She wouldn't leave Spike, she was safe in his arms and that's where she was going to stay, exactly where she really wanted to be, wrapped up in his embrace.

Buffy took a step towards him and he looked up and smiled at her, his whole face softening. She moved quickly to close the gap between them and slipped her arms about his waist, holding him tight.

"Hey kitten." He pulled back and smiled into her eyes.

"Whatcha doing?" She pulled a puzzled face at him like a school kid.

"Playing with traps." He grinned and intimated the case. "Want to help?"

Buffy laughed at the sight of Spike desperately trying to reset the trap, he was grunting with effort and it only served to make her laugh harder.

Spike grinned foolishly at her as he managed to prise apart the steel jaws. "Press the lock before we get into trouble but mind your fingers kitten."

She tentatively reached in and pushed the lock down, whipping her hand away quickly she smiled at Spike who opened his mouth to speak.

"Buffy?"

She looked quizzical at first and then saw Spikes eyes narrow as they fixed on something over her shoulder. Turning to face the voice Buffys eyes grew wide.

"Willow said you spent a lot of time here, I thought she was joking." Angel stood there with his hands clasped in front of him.

"Angel, what are you doing here?" Buffys heart raced as she pulled him harshly to one side, away from Spike.

"We arranged to meet up for your birthday remember? I thought maybe we could work our issues out face to face." Angels voice was low and she knew it was because of their current company.

"Um sure." Like a negotiation? Playing with her necklace Buffy didn't know what else to say, he had flown thousands of miles to be here for her birthday and she couldn't very well tell him to leave, or could she? After all, they'd arranged these plans before they'd broken up.

Angel's eyes followed her fingers and she hurried to cover up the necklace Spike had made for her, if he saw that it would mean more questions and that wasn't what she wanted right now.

"Who's your friend?" Angel nodded towards Spike who was busying himself with the traps.

"He works here." She hoped it would pass for an answer; it was obvious they wouldn't get on with each other.

"Aren't you going to introduce us?" Angel smiled patiently at her and Buffy looked pained for a moment then moved to tug on Spikes sleeve.

"Spike this is Angel and vice versa." Feeling like she was piggy in the middle, Buffy decided it was best to introduce Spike to Angel formally but only give Angel a vice versa, like a tiny brush-off.

"Her boyfriend from LA." Angel extended his hand and Spike just looked at it with an arched brow.

"Ex-boyfriend." Buffy corrected.

"So, Angels come to town for little bitty Buffys birthday, sounds like fun." Voice dripping with sarcasm Spike fought to remain calm, sizing up his opponent he calculated every possible outcome of his being in Oxford.

There was a chance, an extremely high possibility, lets just say it was definite that Spike was going to end up hitting this bloke at some point. Unfortunately, Angel didn't look like a whelp but Spike liked a challenge and taking Angel down was going to be fun. What was going to prove less amusing was keeping his kitten, well, his. He registered that it was going to be the hard part, Angel looked like he had a few tricks up his sleeve that could prove to be Spikes downfall in the romance stakes. Better to take him down quickly before he gets a chance to win Buffy back.

Angel watched Spike, he didn't like the look of this guy and he was pretty damn sure that Buffy and Spikes relationship wasn't purely platonic. Judging by this guy's accent he was the one Buffy was with in that so called 'beautiful café', the one she was out drinking coffee with and he was definitely involved in Buffys Christmas day phone call.

To him Spike looked like trouble and not just with a capital T, Buffy obviously liked him and he didn't look like the type that was going to roll over and lay down like a good little boy. He had a possessive edge to him that might prove to be Angels ruin if they came to blows, Spike would fight to the bitter end to protect what was his and what he cared about.

"How come you didn't come sooner?" Spike grinned maliciously at him.

"Business didn't permit it." Angel tried to keep his voice flat and emotionless, Spike was preying on Angel's weakness--the fact her had left Buffy alone over Christmas.

"Business." Spike parroted and gave Buffy a sideward glance; she knew he'd meant 'Always business with this bloke?'

"Yes, business." It was a lame comeback and Angel instantly regretted it as Buffy looked at him.

"Business that stops you from seeing your girl?" Spikes grin widened and he added mockingly. "Sorry, ex-girl."

"Buffy, come out with me tonight and we'll talk alone." Trying to ignore the look of thunder that crossed Spikes face--definitely more than platonic with Buffy--he looked down at the slight blonde girl in question with hope in his eyes.

"Um, okay." For a moment he felt like he won, then the world came crashing down around him. "Oh poop, I can't--sorry."

"Why not?" Angels voice faltered and he saw the corners of Spikes mouth twitch into a smile.

"We're all going down Zodiac for my birthday." Buffy smiled at Angel like they were just old friends.

"Come too if you want, can get your name on the door." Spikes voice was low as he grinned at Angel and saw Buffy frowning at him.

"I'm sure Angel doesn't…" She started.

"That would be great, you work there?" Angel felt challenged but at least he would get to see Buffy tonight.

"No. My bands playing tonight for her birthday and you can be my two guests--kitten and her ex. Just make sure you say that your kittens ex and we'll get along fine." With that Spike turned and walked off up the rows of cabinets towards the totem pole.

Angel felt sickened at having his suspicions confirmed. This guy was definitely the one Buffy was with in the café and they were definitely more than friends. Comfort kitten.

"I don't like him, Buffy." Angel had a hold of her arm but Buffy was facing away from him and watching Spike opening another cabinet.

"You don't like anyone. I like him and so does Willow, he's a great guy once you get to know him." Buffy still had her gaze firmly fixed on Spike, he was plucking the little note cards one by one from the cabinet and trying to read them without his glasses. Buffy giggled at how image conscious he was around Angel.

"I'm sure your father thinks he's wonderful." Angel's sarcastic tone caused Buffy to look around with a small frown knitting her brows.

"Mom likes him and that's all I need right now." Buffy stood defiant of him and it caught him off guard, she was so different these days.

"Lets not fight Buffy, I came all this way to talk about us not to talk about some guy." Angel rubbed her arm with his thumb and smiled as she relented.

"Fine, we'll get coffee, I don't have much time though as I'm meant to be meeting Willow. Stay here for a minute." Buffy turned away from him and smiled triumphantly as she heard him huff.

Spike was pretending to be busy when she approached, she looked like she was trying to be the white flag between two warring parties and was getting a little tattered in the process. He decided it was better if he let her do what she had to do to make peace with Angel, the quicker she did that the quicker he'd be out of the way.

"I'm going to be bored to death by Angel. It's only coffee and a chat but I know that you'll be feeling all protective and testosterony so I thought it best to let you know." Buffy touched Spikes arm and smiled.

"Borders?" He replied quietly.

"Correct, what a way to spend my birthday, feel free to drop by and rescue me. I am on the list later right?" Buffy couldn't help but feel worried that all this Angel business was pushing Spike away from her.

"Kitten is always on my list." Spike pulled her close and growled possessively in her ear.

Buffy instinctively leant her head back and closed her eyes. As his lips brushed against hers she felt her heartbeat quicken. Spike pushed his mouth possessively onto hers as he bent down slightly and slipped his arms about her waist. Buffy responded by wrapping her arms around his neck and moaned into his mouth.

Pulling away from each other they both felt overly aware of being watched by their current company. Angel was scowling at Spike and he just shrugged in response. Spike couldn't help but feel nervous as he watched his kitten and her ex walking off to get coffee, this could really ruin his plans.

Spike plugged his guitar into the amp and played a few chords to test the levels, it had been six hours since he'd seen Buffy. He'd refused to give in and go to Borders in search of her, she knew where he'd be if she wanted him, it was a childish attitude to take but he wanted her to choose him freely, not for him to make her choose him.

Looking up from his guitar he watched the door swing open and Buffy walked in with Willow and Angel. She looked amazing; her hair was up with little bits falling down messily, dressed in a little black backless top and her black leather trousers. Spike sat on the edge of the stage and sighed as he watched her walking towards him, her hips switching side to side.

She gave him a broad warm smile as she came to stop in front of him then wrapped him up in a tight embrace.

"Still here, still yours." She whispered into his ear and felt his arms grasp her tightly pulling her closer to him.

"Mine." He breathed and it sent a thrill running through her body.

"We'll get some drinks." Willow pulled Angel towards the bar and Spike looked thankful.

"Where's my present?" Buffy beamed at him and he pulled a little box out of his pocket.

"For friendship." His voice was low as she opened it, her eyes widened and she wrapped her arms around his neck excitedly, Spike quietly added. "If nothing else."

"It's gorgeous, Spike." She was grinning madly at him and it made him smile back at her.

It was a ring, a plain silver band with a circular stone in the middle that twinkled blue in the light. It reminded Buffy of Spikes eyes as she pulled the ring from its box and looked at her hand, trying to remember which finger she was meant to put a friendship ring on. Spike rolled his eyes and took hold of her hand.

"Only ring you had for me to measure was this one." He pulled the ring from her middle finger of her left hand off and moved it to her right hand.

Pausing as he slipped the ring onto her middle finger of her left hand Spike let himself wonder for a second whether it would fit her ring finger, but shook his head. Before he knew it Buffy was bouncing around excitedly in front of him.

She smiled at Willow as she handed her a diet coke, waving her hand around in front of her face.

"Sweet." Willow smiled as she caught hold of Buffys hand then gave a look that said 'well done' to Spike.

"What is?" Angel had come over to see what the fuss was about; Spike steeled himself at the edge of the stage.

"Look what Spike gave me." She pushed her hand into Angels face and smiled, Angel just frowned.

"Anything for my kitten." He grinned then watched the doors swing open as more people arrived. "Better finish setting up, Oz."

Oz turned to face him, he was talking to Willow and they looked happy together. Spike smiled as he stood up on stage and picked up his guitar, Buffy grinned when she recognised it as the one she got him for Christmas. Oz joined him and busied himself with hooking up his guitar as he watched Willow intently.

Music played while the room was filling and Buffy was thankful because it meant that she couldn't really hear what Angel was saying to her. She managed to miss half his conversations but he was starting to lean closer and closer to her. She kept her eyes firmly fixed on Spike, watching him as he tuned the instruments and swigged his water. Looking down at the ring on her middle finger she wondered why he'd paused when he was putting it on her. For friendship if nothing else. Buffy wished it was for the else and she shifted her gaze to the finger next to it.

As the room became crowded the band started playing, Spikes concentration was still with Buffy and every song he sung it was like he was singing it to her alone. He kept his gaze firmly fixed on her and sung his heart out, she was his muse, inspiring him to sing with increasing effort every time she gave him a warm smile and gentle look.

But Buffy was feeling wretched inside like she was being torn in two. Every time she smiled at Spike, Angel looked crushed and whenever she spoke to Angel, Spike looked hurt. All she wanted to do was make everyone happy and she realised what Spike had said was true. She had to do what made her happy.

Feeling nauseated she headed off to the bar for some more water and some quiet reflection. As she grabbed hold of her water and her change from the bartender she realised Angel had followed her. Rolling her eyes she started walking back towards Willow but Angel stopped her by a post.

Leaning against it Buffy watched Spike up on stage, he had his eyes firmly fixed on the crowd but Buffy knew he was secretly watching her.

"Buffy?" Angel smiled down at her and she turned to look up at him.

"What?" She sighed out feeling like she was again being pulled in two directions at once.

"Willow said you're going to stay here this summer. Don't. Come back to LA, we can work through this. He doesn't deserve you." Angel ran the back of his fingers softly down Buffys cheek.

"Don't do this, Angel." She trembled under his touch.

All she heard was the microphone feedback as it hit the floor and when she turned towards the stage she saw Spike was heading on a collision course with Angel.

Angel didn't have time to brace himself before Spike landed the first punch, swearing at him as he did so. Knocking him to the floor Spike pinned Angel down and hit him repeatedly, Buffy felt sick at the sight of them fighting. Angel pushed Spike back by shoving a hand under his jaw and levelled a punch at him catching him around the nose. As Spike drew his arm back to hit Angel again Buffy caught it, Spike looked up at her with pain and disbelief.

"Don't, both of you, you're as bad as each other." She let go of Spikes arm as he stood up.

"Think it's time you made up your mind and stuck with it kitten." Spike spat the words at her then stormed off back to the stage.

Buffy felt like throwing up, Angel was a complete mess, Spikes nose had been bleeding and she felt like it was all her fault. She knew what Spikes words meant, he saw her actions as defending Angel against him, showing affection towards Angel and not him. Walking towards the stage like a zombie Buffy thought over what she was going to do. Angel being here was causing major problems and she wasn't sure how she felt about him. Spike was being an idiot but it wasn't his fault, he was just protecting what he saw as his.

Frowning up at Spike, she watched him wipe his bloodied nose on the back of his arm, leaving a red trail that reminded her of the time Drusilla had stabbed him and she remembered Drusillas words again about how he loved Buffy. Her face softened as Spike looked down at her, sighing she looked at Angel and then at Willow who was wide eyed.

Spike looked to Oz and started strumming the first chords of the tune they'd been practicing. Feeling it was now or never he reined in his temper and watched Buffy quietly as he sang the words directly to her.

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
Closer to where I started
Chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you.

Buffy felt Angel trying to grab hold of her arm and she yanked it away from him like it burnt her. Watching Spike up on stage she was amazed at how sedate he was all of a sudden, then she recognised the chords as the ones he'd been practicing on Christmas day.

Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take of all of me

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you.

Spike looked disheartened as he watched her struggling to make a decision and Buffy felt it inside her. The words he was singing made her feel warm, it was an open admission of his feelings for her and she felt like jumping up on stage next to him. As he smiled slightly at her something clicked and she felt her heart catch in her throat like she couldn't breathe, she loved him.

I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
I don't know what I'm diving into
I'm hanging by a moment here with you.

Buffy turned to Willow and caught her arm then shouted over the music. "And you'll stay?"

Willow looked at Oz and then back at Buffy, and nodded. Spike was watching her like a hawk and she sighed up at him, his whole face warmed as he smiled back.

There is nothing else to love
There is nothing else to find
There is nothing in the world
That could change my mind
There is nothing else

"Angel, it would never work out, I just don't love you, and I never truly did at least not with all my heart. Sorry." Buffy turned to leave him but stopped and turned back. "Oh, this is for hitting my boyfriend."

Buffy punched Angel hard on the nose and ran for the steps that lead up to the stage, the crowd were watching her with interest.

Biting her lip with embarrassment, Buffy walked slowly along the stage towards Spike, she took a deep breath as he turned to face her with a gentle look and half smile in his narrowed eyes.

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
Closer to where I started
Chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you.

As the music faded, Spike let his guitar slip so it dangled by his side and Buffy hugged him tightly, he pulled her close to him and sighed. Trying to ignore the feedback from the guitar and the crowd cheering at them Buffy pulled back at smiled awkwardly at Spike.

"I win?" He searched her eyes for an answer.

"I'm staying right here with the man I love." She caught him around the back of his head and pulled him in for a kiss but he stopped her.

"Have something to say first." Spike smiled down at her and Buffy felt suddenly nervous. "Kinda sudden but I had a thought, about the ring, when I was putting it on your finger."

"Oh." Buffy paused to think and then her eyes widened. "OH!"

Spike knelt in front of her and she clasped her hand to her mouth. "I know I can be temperamental but you're the one thing I've ever felt this passionately about. I love you kitten, marry me? Make me the happiest bloke in the universe?"

The crowd jeered as he knelt before her, his heart was smashing against his chest and time slowed to an eternity. He heard Willow gasp and Angel swearing. Looking up at Buffy he slipped the ring from her middle finger and waited patiently for an answer.

Buffy felt like she was dreaming, he was really on one knee on a stage in front of a hundred people and they were all staring at them, what was worse was they were cheering her on like a pep squad.

She felt like her heart was going to leap out of her mouth if she tried to speak. Biting her lip she realised she was keeping him waiting a little too long. Her father was going to kill her; her mother was going to love her.

"Of course it's yes." Her face broke into a wide grin and she felt his fingers shake as he slipped the ring onto her finger.

Pulling him up into a standing position Buffy wrapped her arms around him and kissed him passionately, she felt heat coursing through her as he kissed her back. The crowd cheered at them and Buffy could see Willow up onstage hopping around Oz excitedly, they were definitely staying for summer if not a little longer. Spike lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around him tightly. Pulling back and looking into Spikes eyes as they smiled at her she realised that for once she was truly happy, this was what she wanted and she didn't care what anyone thought.

~*~ end ~*~