Love In Vein - Chapter 7

Buffy stared at the dirty black dashboard in front of her, buildings whizzing by just barely visible out of the corner of her eye. She felt sick. The outside world seem different now, a cold hard place that she had no part in anymore.

As the car stopped at a crossing, she watched the people in a little coffee shop as they talked and laughed, their carefree attitudes making her feel like she was being stabbed in the heart. She used to be like that. Long before she was chosen.

Now things could never be that way again.

She was irrevocably changed.

Forever.

She closed her eyes and heaved a long sigh. Something brushing against her leg made her open her eyes and she saw Spike's hand resting there, soothing away the pain in her heart and making the world seem a little less harsh.

She knew he felt bad about telling her, but she couldn't hold it against him. In a small way it had already allowed her to take the first step towards accepting who she really was. She could never be normal and she saw that now, she'd been acting the fool for the past four years.

It wasn't a job.

It wasn't a task that she could just ignore like it was her homework.

It was her destiny.

She was the Slayer.

She wasn't a normal girl. She had never been a normal girl. The way she saw it now was that she was chosen from birth, a potential that had been always destined to be a Slayer from the second she came into the world. This was her destiny and she had to accept it.

It didn't mean that it didn't hurt, though; the knowledge that her power came from the demon world, that the Slayer in her wasn't as human as she had always thought it was.

Staring down at the large hand that was resting on her thigh she swallowed down the tears that had started to form in her eyes. The thought of parting from Spike seemed more painful to her than the knowledge of what she really was. She couldn't be angry with him for telling her who she was, but she could certainly be angry with him for leaving her.

She turned her head to look at him and found he was watching her. Letting her eyes meet his for a split second, she read the pain in his and then turned her head away from him and looked out of the window.

Spike removed his hand as he suppressed the desire to sigh. He'd seen the tears in her eyes and knew that they weren't about what he'd told her--they were about what he was doing.

Pressing his foot down on the accelerator, he turned left down the long road that led to Giles' apartment.


Buffy listened to the breaks squeak slightly as the car stopped. She didn't want to look up. She could tell by the way the atmosphere inside his old Desoto had grown heavy that they were outside Giles' place.

"Pet…" Spike turned slightly on the seat so he was facing her, his arm resting gently on the steering wheel as he reached out towards her with his other hand. He let it run lightly over her hair as she remained facing forwards, her body rigid and her eyes fixed on the end of the bonnet. "…Buffy?"

She let her eyes fall to rest on her hands where they were sitting in her lap.

"Spike?" The sound of her voice shocked her; she sounded so frail and shaky. A week ago she wouldn't have been like this, she would have gotten straight out of the car and left him there to deal with whatever was happening between them. She would've dealt with her emotions swiftly and returned to her life. A good night's patrol would have been all she needed to get past this feeling inside her.

It was wrong.

She knew that deep inside but it didn't seem to make a difference to her heart. It seemed to ignore all reason and tell her that his leaving was a bad thing.

A very bad thing.

She felt like she couldn't breathe as his fingers brushed against her shoulder--she could feel them through the material of his shirt. Part of her couldn't believe that he hadn't asked for it back, he was letting her keep it and she felt that in a way she was keeping a part of him. She swallowed hard to force the tears back down.

She couldn't cry.

If she cried then that meant she had accepted her feelings for him, whatever they were, and that his leaving was actually hurting her.

If she didn't cry, then she didn't care that he was going.

She didn't care.

Spike frowned as a single tear fell from her lashes, bounced off her cheek and made a small dark spot on the red shirt she was wearing. He could see her struggling to contain her emotions. He could feel it--the turmoil, the pain, and the hurt. He could feel it like it was his own.

"I have to go." She said with quiet resolution and felt his hand slip from her shoulder.

"I know." Spike watched her fingers as they slowly opened the door. "Buffy…"

"Yes?" She turned her head to face him, her expression cold and clinical as she met his eyes.

"I don't know what to say." Spike blinked at her.

"Neither do I."

"I never meant…I'm sorry I did that to you…sorry I left you when I shouldn't have…sorry really doesn't cover it, does it?"

"I don't think it does…" She smiled, putting on a brave face and hiding the conflict inside her as she tried to sound like she used to. "…Still…it could've been worse. You could've killed me."

Spike felt the words stab him in the heart, part of him wishing she'd just staked him instead, because the way she'd said it had sounded so cold that his hope of her feeling anything towards him had shattered.

"Guess I could've…" He smirked at her to cover the pain and watched her get out of the car.

Buffy closed her eyes and let her head hang forwards as she built up the strength to shut the car door.

It seemed so final.

A sudden end to whatever they'd had, killing it point blank before it had the time to turn into anything significant. Nothing more than a passing fancy, a fleeting moment of togetherness.

She looked at the car and her hand where it still held the door.

To close it now was like snapping the fragile bond between them.

Her fingers trembled, her whole being aching to be back with him, to get in the car and just tell him to shut up and drive, to take her with him wherever he was going.

Instead, she shut the door.

Listened to the engine rev into life.

Watched him drive away.

She didn't move until she couldn't see him anymore.

Then she stayed staring in the direction he'd gone until she got too cold to stand outside.


Walking into the courtyard of Giles' apartment, she wrapped her arms about herself.

She felt cold.

Weak.

Alone.

She stared blankly at the door to Giles' place, the little windows illuminated by warm light. It should have been a comforting sight, but it wasn't; it filled her with a strange dread that made her want to run back to the road and after Spike. She moved slowly forwards, taking small steps that seemed ever increasingly hard. With every movement towards the door, she felt like she was growing colder, emptier, until she reached it and she felt like a void again. She knocked quietly, part of her hoping that no one would hear her and she could just disappear again. She knew there were going to be questions, ones that she didn't want to answer because her friends would draw conclusions that she wouldn't be able to counter.

The door swung open.

She stared blankly ahead as a pair of arms were flung around her and held her tightly.

"Buffy!" Willow held her friend as she breathed a long sigh of relief--it had been almost two weeks since she'd disappeared.

"Buffy?" Giles' voice sounded from inside and she closed her eyes, letting her tears slide down her cheeks as her heart ached over what Spike had told her.

Finding herself being led into the living room, she frowned at the brightness of it. It made the world seem harder when it was lit so harshly and she longed for the low light of Spike's bedroom. She moved slowly around the room and dimmed all the lights, ignoring the way her friends watched her with confusion reigning on their faces.

She looked at them all as they stood opposite her, the couches acting like a great divide as she stood on the other side of the room. They seemed different now, all of them so much weaker in her eyes and none of them knowing what to say to her.

Buffy looked down at her clothes and sighed. She could still smell him all over them, his aftershave and cigarette smoke offering her small comfort.

"What happened?" Willow came forwards a few steps, tentatively bridging the gap between Buffy and her friends.

"I…" She didn't know what to tell them. She couldn't mention Spike or they would go after him. She had to buy him time to get away to LA, or wherever he was heading. "I don't remember much…I fell down a hole while running from a vampire…think I bumped my head."

She could see in their eyes that they weren't buying her story, they were all looking down at her clothes and then at each other.

"I'll get you some tea, it'll make you feel better." Willow smiled warmly and looked over at Giles. He returned her smile and walked around into the kitchen.

"I really don't remember much…I remember something, though…" Buffy watched Giles' back closely as he filled the kettle. "About Slayers and three men…and a demons heart."

The sudden rigidity of Giles' shoulders told her everything she needed to know--he had known about how the first Slayer was made but he hadn't told her. Her heart sank a little further.

Xander frowned. "Demon heart?"

"I…I think we should let her rest…she's clearly been through a great ordeal of sorts…" Giles' cleaned his glasses vigorously as he walked back into the room. "We're just glad to have you back."

"Did you tell mom?" Buffy watched their faces, their concerned expressions unwavering as they all shook their heads. "I didn't think you would."

"I told her you were busy with classes and Slayer stuff. I covered for you with the tutors. Sit…" Willow took hold of Buffy's hand and led her to the couch. "You look so pale…you okay, Buffy?"

Buffy nodded, even as her heart ached.

"I'll be fine." She forced a smile and saw some of the concern lift from Willows face. "Just need a little time."

Willow frowned as she watched Buffy scratching her wrists as she looked up at the rest of the gang. Looking closely, she could see bruising and red marks hidden beneath the cuffs of the shirt she was wearing. A shirt that seemed vaguely familiar.

Buffy gave Willow a cold look as she met her eyes and then smiled at her. She watched her friend quickly stand and move to the kitchen.

Heaving a long sigh she rolled her shirt sleeves up and revealed the marks to her friends, showing them the reason behind why she didn't want to talk about where she'd been.

Xander looked down at the sores that ran around her wrists. "Jesus, Buffy…what happened?"

"Vampires…chained me up…they…they tried…" She turned her head to the side and closed her eyes as she remembered the vampires surrounding her, trying to hold her down as one of them forced her knees apart. "I can't…"

Standing up sharply she walked out of the room and into the cold night air of the courtyard.

Willow gave Xander an angry look and carried the mug of tea out to Buffy.

She watched as her friend paced around the small fountain, she had her hands hidden inside the shirtsleeves, one of them holding her side as the other was pressed against her mouth. Willow took a step towards her and gave her a small smile as she stopped and looked at her.

"Brought you some tea." She said gently, and then held it up so Buffy could see it in the darkness.

Buffy relinquished the comforting feeling that the lingering scent of Spike on her shirt gave her and dropped her arms.

"Thanks." She took the mug from Willow and breathed in the hot steam, seeking comfort where there was none.

The empty feeling inside her wasn't going away--in fact, it felt like it was rapidly getting worse.

"You don't have to tell us where you've been, we're just glad to have you back in one piece." Willow sat down on the edge of the fountain and watched Buffy as she paced with her mug of tea, her head thrown backwards and her eyes scanning the heavens.

She was wondering whereabouts Spike was.

She sighed.

Wherever he was it felt like he was a million miles away.

"You okay?"

Buffy looked down to find a concerned Willow looking up at her.

"Yeah…just got a lot to think about…to understand."

"Huh?" Willow let a frown wrinkle her nose as she watched Buffy sit down next to her and sip her tea.

"Slayer stuff." Buffy said quietly and stared at the topiary opposite her.

Spike had been right, she had never accepted who she was and now that she had waited so long to finally come to terms with what being a Slayer meant it seemed all the harder.

She was a Slayer, rooted to the earth and linked to the demon world no matter how much she didn't like it. Her power was in the darkness. She looked up at the sky, the moon shining brightly in the deep blue heavens above her.

In the night.

With the demons.

With him.

"Don't get too cold." Willow smiled at her and patted her knee before walking back into the apartment.

Buffy sighed and looked down at her black combats. Her wounds were almost healed now, but the physical and emotional scars remained. Casting a glance around the empty courtyard, the shadows suddenly seemed ominous again and she frowned at them, the small bubble of fear growing inside her until she stood up and followed Willow.

"It's late…you can all stay here tonight." Giles' announced as she walked in through the door and closed it behind her.

"What day is it?" Buffy frowned as she realised that she hadn't even been bothered about what day it had been while she'd been in Spike's lair--they had all just melted together into one long day.

"Friday, Buffy." Xander answered her and she raised her brows--at least it was the weekend.

"Do try and get some sleep tonight." Giles' placed a hand on her shoulder and was surprised when she jumped slightly, her body jerking away from his touch as her brows knit together into a hard look.

Buffy was surprised, too. She hadn't reacted that way when Willow had touched her. Her reaction to Giles' had seemed almost instinctive--like his touching her was wrong.

"Sorry…" She smiled through her confusion and looked around the room to find all her friends watching her. "…Guess I'm more tired than I thought."

Walking over to the couch, she sat down on it and stared down at her hands again, remembering how she'd felt when she'd been in the car with Spike and he'd placed his hand on her shoulder. It had been comforting, soothing. Giles' hand had felt wrong, like she was doing something bad by letting him do that to her.

"Buffy?" Xander touched her hands as he tried to get her attention.

Buffy snatched them away from him and curled up, frowning at him as she managed to stop herself from lashing out.

"It's just me, Buff…you want a blanket?" He smiled at her and then looked over her shoulder at Giles.

Giles looked pensive. Her reaction to being touched was worrying him. She seemed to do it automatically, as though it was a natural reaction for her to have to being touched. He watched closely as Willow sat down next to Buffy and put a blanket over her friend's lap and then smoothed her hair behind her ear. She didn't jump; she just smiled warmly at Willow.

Looking over at his books, he searched the spines for one that could possibly enlighten him and then relented. She had clearly been through a lot during her absence and he didn't know anything of it, the chances were that this was a reaction left over from being chained up and she would gradually get over it.

He hoped.

 

Love In Vein - Chapter 8

Buffy woke sharply, her heart pounding sickeningly fast in her throat as she panted hard. She pressed her hand against her chest and furrowed her brows as she looked around the room at her sleeping friends. Her fingers clutched at the red material of the shirt as she fought the overwhelming desire to run out of the apartment. The pull was strong and the only thing stopping her was the fact that she wasn't sure where she was meant to run to.

Swinging her legs around she sat up and looked down at her friend's faces, they all seemed so innocent. So human and weak.

She shook her head to rid it of the thought.

They were her friends; they had stood by her through apocalypses and fought by her side. They were strong, brave.

Weak.

She shook her head again and stood up fast, wrapping the blanket around herself as she walked into the kitchen.

Pouring herself a cup of tea, she kept her eyes fixed on the stairs that led up to Giles' bedroom. He was weak too, weaker than her friends could ever be.

Buffy frowned hard and pulled the blanket tighter around herself. She swallowed noisily as she tried to fathom what was wrong with her. Taking her mug with her, she walked out into the still morning air and sat down by the fountain.

Humans were weak. She knew it was the Slayer side of her speaking, the demonically enhanced part of her that took over during her battles.

She wasn't human.

She never had been, she knew that now. Always destined to be chosen she was the strongest out of all the candidates, thousands of girls the world over living their lives as a potential and she was chosen.

She was powerful.

Strong.

Spike had told her that she was the strongest Slayer he'd ever encountered and he'd met a few in his time. He'd never seen one like her and if she only realised her true power she would be unstoppable.

She flexed her fingers and watched the muscles and tendons dance in her arm.

She was the Slayer.

Would be the Slayer until she died.

She was linked to the demons, chosen to save the world for the sake of mankind, no matter how bad the odds were against her.

Buffy smiled, a small knowing smile that an onlooker would've easily seen was all about realisation.

She was human, superhuman. The demon essence they put into the first Slayer wasn't in her. The Slayer line had evolved and integrated the power the demon world gave her into their natural abilities. If she still had the heart of a demon then she would've been immortal, like Spike, but she wasn't--she was as weak as a human if caught or injured. Her power was in her senses and her strength, not in her heart.

Her heart was a fragile as a humans.

It broke.

It bled.

It ached.

She clutched her chest again and sighed. God did it ache.

A shuffling noise caught her attention and she turned her head to find Giles watching her--his sleep mussed hair, plaid dressing gown and grey slippers making her lips twitch into an amused smile.

"Morning." Giles squinted up at the sky, the dawn chorus of birds heralding the coming day even though the sky was still dark.

"Hey." Buffy replied and sipped her tea; part of her relieved that she was no longer thinking he was weak and human. The ache inside her grew worse and she pulled a face of discomfort.

"Anything wrong?"

"Nothing…" She said a little too quickly and then tried to smile. "…I just…feel a little off. Like I need to be somewhere but I don't know where. Must be all the things I was supposed to do last week plaguing me…or something."

"Yes, or something." Giles replied and looked over his shoulder into the room where Willow and Xander were waking. "Breakfast?"

Buffy nodded, her stomach rumbling as she realised that she hadn't eaten in a few days--the last thing she'd had was some junk food that one of Spike's minions had bought for her.

Spike.

When she thought about him the ache seemed to subside a little.

She shrugged her shoulders and followed Giles back into the apartment.

"Mind if I use your bathroom? Just…vamps don't really have much in the way of showers." Buffy smiled as Giles nodded at her.


Listening to Buffy humming in the shower, Willow rifled through the training bag that Buffy had left with her the night before she'd disappeared and pulled out a pair of dark grey sweatpants and a small white spaghetti strap top. She walked down the hall to the bathroom and knocked on the door before pushing it open.

She froze.

Her eyes immediately drawn to Buffy's legs as she grasped the small towel to her upper half.

Buffy blinked.

"God, Buffy…" Willow couldn't take her eyes off the long marks on her friend's legs. They were clearly claw marks; she looked as though she'd been attacked by a wildcat.

"Willow…" Buffy started and furrowed her brows, a sudden feeling of dirtiness overcoming her and making her want to hide away from her friend.

"Sorry…just…"

"What's happening?" Xander appeared behind Willow and Buffy clung desperately to the towel as she backed away from the door.

Her heart pounded hard against her ribs as she felt the sudden need to escape, to run far away from the prying eyes of people and be alone.

"Xander, get out!" Willow pushed him backwards until he went back into the living room. Turning around she walked into the bathroom and held the clothes out to Buffy. "I'm sorry, I just came to give you these."

There was something in the way Buffy looked at her that scared her. Normally twinkling green eyes looked at her with a hardness that resembled a feral animal that had been backed into a corner.

She slowly put the clothes down on the floor and backed out of the room, not wanting to disturb Buffy any further than she already had.


"Something's very wrong." Willow said to Giles as she paced the living room. It had been over twenty minutes since she'd left Buffy alone and her friend hadn't come out of the bathroom. "The way she was acting Giles, like some wild creature, that wasn't Buffy."

"She's clearly been through a lot." Giles replied calmly and gave her a sympathetic smile. "We must give her time. I'm sure she will tell us everything we need to know soon enough."

"And what was with the touching yesterday?" Xander chimed in and pressed his fingers against his mouth thoughtfully.

Giles looked pensive as he thought about what Xander had said, part of him distressed that he had noticed Buffy's reaction, too, but hadn't said anything.

"She acted like us touching her…" Xander continued but was cut off by Giles.

"Was wrong…I believe she was acting on instinct. Willow's touching was acceptable, but our offer of comfort was seen as a terrible act."

"She had claw marks." Willow said quietly as she stared at the floor blankly. "On her legs…arms…claw marks, Giles…like she'd been attacked, tortured…who'd do such a thing?"

"I don't know."

The bathroom door swung open and all three of them turned to look at Buffy where she was slowly emerging.

"Hey…" She said as she buttoned up the red shirt she'd put on over her white top.

Willow watched her closely as she raised her head up and smiled, there was no sign of the girl she'd seen in the bathroom--in front of her was the Buffy she used to know.

"Buffy…" Giles took a step towards her as she stood in the archway by the kitchen.

Buffy wobbled slightly and wrapped her arms around herself as her body trembled, a sting of pain arcing through her. She fought for breath as the pain grew stronger until it felt like it was searing through her body. Frowning hard, she screwed her eyes shut and swallowed, trying to ignore the feeling of being pulled in all directions at once and concentrating on remaining standing.

"Buffy? What Willow saw…the marks…we need to know…who did this to you."

Buffy swallowed hard again and dropped to her knees as the pain inside blinded her. She grasped at the floor as she curled up and then shot her head up as she felt a clear pull in one direction. Her eyes wide with shock over what was happening, she didn't see her friends in front of her, instead she was seeing the night Spike had cleaned up her legs and she had touched the blood on his lip. Her words rung in her head and the sound of her heart beating hard flooded her ears. Mine.

"Spike." Buffy breathed and saw the shocked expression on her friend's faces. Jumping to her feet, she bolted out of the door.

"Spike?" Willow looked confused and ran to the door. "Buffy!"

"How could I have been so blind?" Giles closed his eyes as his dismissal of the way she'd reacted to being touched haunted him. "I hate to say this…whatever Spike did to her, I don't think he hurt her."

"What?" Xander looked incredulous as Giles turned to face them.

"He wouldn't hurt what he was bonded to. Her unwillingness to talk to us, the distant way she's been acting and the way she reacted to being touched by a male. All signs of a claim that I should've recognised. I think something happened to her, something that led to her relying on Spike to protect or look after her, and somehow…"

"He claimed her?" Willow blinked in disbelief as she tried to take in what Giles was saying. "The scars on her legs, the marks on her wrists…what if this isn't about a claim…the way she reacted to me seeing them was almost as if she was ashamed of them, Giles…what if the vampires who had her tried to…"

Giles closed his eyes as he realised what Willow was trying to say. "It could be a factor…we need to find her…she can't have gone far."


Joyce placed the duster down as the phone rang. She picked up the mobile from the table and walked into the living room.

"Hello?"

"Mrs Summers?" Giles' voice rang down the phone and she stopped walking.

"Mr Giles? There's nothing wrong, is there?"

"Is Buffy there? She was here a moment ago but then she was gone, she left her training kit here." Giles tried to sound as normal as possible, but the incessant pacing of Willow was proving to be more than a distraction.

"No…she hasn't been around in a…oh god!" Joyce pulled the curtains aside as her SUV screeched out of the drive. "My car!"

"Your car?"

"Someone just took my car…"

"Buffy." Giles put the phone down and grabbed his keys off the rack, not waiting to see if the others were following before heading out of the door.

Joyce stared at the phone in her hand as the reception went dead and then looked out the window at her empty driveway.

"Buffy?"


Buffy slammed her foot down on the accelerator as she passed the town boundary, her mothers SUV revving loudly as she desperately tried to make it go faster. Her heart raced as she stared at the road in front of her, keeping her focus wholly on getting to where she was going.

Only she didn't know where she was going.

All she had was a pull inside her that was acting like a compass, getting stronger or weaker depending on the direction she was heading in.

And a sense of urgency that said wherever she was going, she had to get there fast.

As pain seared through her again she screwed her face up and tried to swallow it down, to push it to the back of her mind and keep it there so she could concentrate on getting to Spike.

"Spike." Buffy whispered as she gripped the steering wheel tighter with both hands.

She knew what she was doing was crazy and she couldn't explain why she was risking life and limb to hunt him down but something said he was in trouble and that was all she needed to justify her actions. She couldn't let him get hurt. She had to find him.

Whizzing down the interstate, she watched a sign fly past that told her she was heading towards Los Angeles.

"You really went to LA…" She pressed her foot down harder on the accelerator and felt the engine kick into life. Soon the early morning traffic would start and she wouldn't be able to drive as fast as she was now, getting pulled over by the police wasn't going to help her save Spike.

"Spike…where are you?" Buffy frowned at the empty road in front of her.

A rush of images hitting her made Buffy slam her foot down on the brakes, the tyres of the SUV screeching as she span to a halt.

She panted hard as she saw blurred jumbled scenes flitting across her eyes. The last one stuck in her head and made her stomach turn with hurt and anger.

"Angel."

Pulling the car back onto the interstate, she slammed her foot down on the gas. If Angel had Spike, there was no telling what would happen to him. Her wrists ached and her ankles hurt as she willed the car to go faster. She wasn't sure what she was feeling but it didn't feel like physical pain, it felt like an echo of pain. Spike's pain.

She continued in silence as she passed sign after sign by the roadside, each one counting down the miles to LA. The sun was creeping high into the sky by the time she caught sight of it in the distance, the low lying buildings around its outskirts slowly growing in stature until they leapt up to the skyscrapers of downtown. Her body compass was still leading her but now she was ignoring it, she knew where to find Angel and that meant she knew where to find Spike.

As she entered the boundary of the city, she felt the feeling inside her intensify. The desire to find Spike seemed to be spiralling out of control and she now felt it was verging on desperation.

Ramping the SUV up onto the curb outside the hotel, she grabbed the keys and slammed the door as she hit the pavement running. She barged through the entrance and took the steps two at a time until she reached the first floor.

She stopped.

The feeling in her stomach seemed to be quieter and she knew she was heading in the wrong direction.

Backtracking down the stairs, she ran to the end of the hall and pushed against the large heavy door as she tried the handle. It was locked. She pressed her palms against it and closed her eyes as she tried to reach out and see if he was there.

A stab of pain in her stomach said he was and that was all she needed to drive her to a decision. Moving back a few steps, she shouldered the door hard and heard it creak, the metal straining against her as she struggled to break it down. Another attack on the door and the wooden frame surrounding it splintered and broke causing the door to fall open.

Buffy held her shoulder and gave the door a dark look as she passed by.

Moving slowly down the steps into the darkness, she fumbled for a light switch as her hands ran along the wall. When she succeeded in locating it, she flicked it on. Her eyes stung as the light bulb burst into life above her and illuminated the room in a sickly white light.

"Spike?" Buffy let her senses guide her as she walked into the basement. A scratching noise in the corner drew her attention and she blinked.

He was curled up, chains fettering his ankles and wrists. She could smell the acrid scent of blood hanging heavy in the air and could see the patches of it staining the floor.

He growled.

Buffy found herself making a quiet noise that seemed to soothe him and she felt like she was cooing to a baby, or an animal.

Kneeling down next to him, she lowered her head until she could see his face. It was a mess of cuts and bruises. She reached her hand around and cupped his cheek lightly, drawing his head up so she could see the wounds more clearly. His eye was swollen, his lip split and an angry gash streaked across his temple and his forehead.

She cooed as she brushed her fingers against his skin, letting them warm him and hoping he would know it was her. As a purr rumbled through his chest, she furrowed her brows, struggling against the overwhelming desire to cry as she remembered what her mother had told her about cats and how they purred when happy or when hurt.

He was hurt.

Badly.

His clothes were torn, lacerations were visible through the holes in them and her senses were full of blood--his blood. He whimpered as she touched his chest and she felt the pain echo in hers.

"Spike…" Buffy whispered and smoothed his hair as he finally opened his eyes and looked into hers, they were large and full of hurt. "…I'm getting you out of here."

Grabbing hold of the chains that tied him to the wall, she tugged on them, pulling with all her might until she finally slumped forwards--tired from the effort.

"I can't…" She let the tears slip onto her cheeks as she hung her head in resignation. "They're too strong."

Feeling something shaky touching her, she opened her eyes to see Spike's hand resting on hers, his fingers grasping it tightly as she cried. She blinked, remembering what she'd been through and feeling angry that he was going through something so similar. Looking up into his eyes, she found the strength she needed as he tried to smile through the pain.

Buffy knit her brows and stood up, grabbing hold of the chain in both of her hands and pressing her foot against the wall it was attached to. She grunted with effort as she pulled on the chain, her muscles bunching tightly as she leant backwards and ignored the pain ripping through her. She couldn't leave him tied up. She had to get him free and get him away from this place.

As the chain broke free of the wall, she gave herself a moment to catch her breath before starting on the next one.

Buffy looked down at the chains and then at Spike. She'd accomplished getting him free but she didn't know how to move him. She could see his injuries were severe and whatever Angel had done to him, it had been bad enough to drive him into an almost feral state of mind. Bending over, she caught hold of him under his arms and tried to help him to his feet. He wobbled and collapsed to the floor with her. He was too exhausted to move.

Holding him tightly, she felt him weakly nuzzle her neck and she found herself drawing her hair aside so he could get closer to her. He growled quietly as she steadied him in her arms and guided his lips to her neck, willing to do anything to make him strong again so she could get him away from LA. Her heart pounded in her ears and it felt like it was trying to break free of her chest. Screwing her eyes shut, she cringed as his sharp teeth penetrated her skin, causing a stab of pain to arc along her nerves. She opened her eyes wide and gasped as he pulled on her blood, his arms slowly encircling her back as he tried to get closer to her. The feeling inside her was delicious. She felt almost delirious as he drank from her, and it was clear she was experiencing both his and her feelings at the same time. She could feel new energy coursing through her as his fingers dug into her flesh, his mouth latching on greedily to her neck as he sunk his teeth in deeper.

Buffy closed her eyes and let her head fall backwards.

Her breathing became laboured as she gave herself over to the feeling of delirium spreading through her.

The sensation of Spike's fingers digging into her waist harder bought her back to reality and she gently pushed him backwards, intimating that it was time for him to stop. Her body trembled as he licked up her neck and nuzzled just below her ear with his nose.

"Little at a time." Buffy whispered and ran her fingers through his hair.

Spike pulled back and blinked at her as she smiled concernedly at him. She could sense he was still weak, but the Slayer enhanced blood flowing through his veins would soon start to help him heal, and that gave her a small comfort.

A noise from up above them caused her to freeze. She frowned as she looked up at the light in the doorway and saw shadowy shapes moving across it, voices drifting down to her.

"What the hell happened to the door?"

Angel.

Buffy let out a low growling noise as she looked from the stairs to Spike, his body bloodied and beaten, bones broken and bruised.

Standing up she pulled the stake out of her waistband and looked down at Spike. He raised his eyes slowly to look into hers and she furrowed her brows at seeing them so dull and lifeless.

Grasping the stake firmly in her hand, she took a deep breath.

"Buffy?" A voice came from behind her and she turned slowly, her hair covering her eyes as she looked up at Angel.

She growled.

"Oh my god, Buffy?" Cordelia stepped out from behind Angel and raised her brows.

Angel's eyes leapt from her face to the stake and then down to Spike.

Spike growled.

"Buffy?" Angel took a step towards her.

"Angel, no!" Giles' out of breath voice rang down from up above them.

"Giles?" Angel looked confused as he moved his eyes from Buffy up to Giles.

Buffy flexed her fingers around the stake as she kept her eyes fixed on Angel.

"Don't go near her. Let her go, Angel…" Giles walked down the stairs, his eyes locked on Angel the whole time. When he reached him, he moved his gaze to rest on Buffy. Her knuckles were white from the force with which she was grasping the stake in her fist.

"Giles? What the hell is happening?" Angel gave him a confused look as he put his arm out in front of him and forced him to step away from Buffy.

They watched her as she turned around and lifted Spike up, hooking his arm around her shoulders as she made him stand. Buffy gripped her stake tight in her other hand, her eyes cold as she stared at the people in the room and started towards the stairs.

"She'll kill you if you try to stop her…she doesn't recognise us for who we really are…let her go."

"Doesn't what? Why?" Angel watched her as she slowly walked past, her eyes never leaving them as she led Spike to the stairs. He swore her neck was wounded and the feeling in his stomach made his head spin with confusion--it was as though there was a strong connection he could feel between them.

"There's no easy way to say this…she's protecting her mate and she clearly presumes you did this to him."

"Spike? I'm a little confused…Spike and Buffy? How, why?" Angel looked sickened as Buffy paused and looked around at him.

"We don't know the particulars, she was missing for almost two weeks and we believe something happened to her during her absence and then this. She left Sunnydale this morning, seemingly in a lot of pain, she stole her mothers car and came straight here."

"Buffy?" Angel stepped towards her again as she reached the bottom step of the stairs that led out of the basement. She gave him a cold look and he tried to push away the pain that seeing her so close to Spike made him feel. "We didn't do this to him…we found him like this. There's a gang roaming the city that say they are delivering punishment to demons, that they are causing them the pain they cause others. Vigilantes did this, Buffy…we had to lock him down here for his own safety--so he didn't hurt us, or anyone. He would've got himself killed out there."

Buffy just stared hard at him and frowned.

"I'm afraid Spike's reversion to a feral state may be causing Buffy to revert to one too."

"It's strong…I can feel it. The bond between them. She can feel it all, Giles…everything he's experiencing." Angel watched her slowly aiding Spike up the stairs, dragging the chains still bound to him along behind them.

Giles made a mental note to research heavily into the effects of claims--Angel had piqued his interest with his new information about Buffy being able to feel what Spike was.

"We'll follow her home, make sure she gets there safe. Once Spike starts healing mentally and comes out of his animal state then she'll go back to being Buffy again. We'll call if we need anything." Giles waited until Buffy reached the top step before following her.

"Giles." Angel caught hold of his arm and stopped him. "She'll need these."

Giles looked down at the small metal keys in his hands.

"Don't let him hurt her."

Giles put his hand over Angels and smiled. "Would never let it happen and I don't think she would either."

 

Love In Vein - Chapter 9

Buffy glanced over at Spike where he was covered by his leather duster and some blankets she'd found in the back of her mother's car. She could tell he was recovering, the wounds on his face were already starting to look better and she didn't feel so much pain anymore.

Also, she wasn't acting like an animal.

Part of her wished she'd read the book on vampires that Giles had always pushed her to. She was sure that if she'd read that, then all of this could have been so much easier to understand. She would have known that in saying what she had, she was claiming him, and she would have been prepared for just how deeply it affected her.

Back in Angel's office she had felt wild, like a lioness trying to protect her injured mate from attack. She hadn't even recognised the people who were standing in front of her; she had just seen them as enemies that were going to attempt to hurt Spike further.

Staring at the long stretch of road in front of her she was thankful that the sun had finally sunk behind the horizon and allowed her to pull a few of the coverings off Spike so she could see him. Being able to look at him and see his face was somehow reassuring to her, it made her feel safe and quieted the swirling of emotions in her stomach.

She reached a hand out and stroked the backs of her fingers down his cheek.

Spike murmured.

He was still too weak to talk to her, but she knew from her own state of mind that his was getting better. The pain inside her body was less now, a dull throb instead of an incessant burning.

Buffy sighed and looked at the road sign as it whizzed past. She didn't know what she was going to do, but she only had twenty more miles to decide before she reached the limits of Sunnydale.

Spike coughed, his body shifting uncomfortably under the layers she'd placed over him. She frowned at the small trickle of blood that seeped from the corner of his mouth.

"Spike?" Buffy nudged him slightly as she kept her eyes fixed on the road. He groaned and she felt the dull throb in her side grow into white-hot pain. She furrowed her brows and gasped as the pain started to spread through her body. "Hold on, Spike."

Slamming her foot down to the floor she drove hard into the outskirts of Sunnydale, heading towards the one place she would find help and comfort.

Driving fast down Revello Drive, she skidded to a halt in her driveway and fumbled with the car door, her sense of urgency returning as the pain inside her continued to grow stronger with each passing moment. As Spike screwed his face up in agony, she stopped and bent over, panting hard as she struggled against the hurt inside her.

"Buffy Anne Summers!" Joyce flung the front door open and stormed down the steps towards her daughter.

"Mom…" Buffy rounded the car, holding her side tightly as she made her way towards the passenger side and Spike.

"No, young lady…you listen to me…you had me worried to death, taking my car and disappearing like that…you ever…"

"Mom!" Buffy swallowed hard and found all her strength leaving her as she struggled desperately to pull the car door open so she could get Spike out and into the safety of her house.

It opened and she started to remove the blankets covering him. As the tears rolled down her cheeks, she gave in and stopped struggling against the powerful emotions that were carrying her away. All she could see was Spike, hurt beyond any mortal capacity and bleeding badly as he lay half conscious in her mothers SUV. Her breath felt like it was stuck in her throat, unable to break past the immovable lump of emotions that was lingering there. Her chest ached as her whole body trembled, her harsh sobs racking her tired body until she couldn't see clearly anymore.

"No, Buffy…I trusted you and you stole my car, you could've asked me…you are in serious trouble…"

Buffy stared down at the wound on Spike's side and then at her hands.

"Mom…" Her tone turned frantic as she stared blankly at the blood coating them.

"Giles put the phone down on me…you have your cell off…"

"Help me!" Buffy cried out as she furrowed her brows, hot tears streaming down her face as she turned to face her mother. "Please, help me."

She held her hands out to her mother and watched her eyes widen as she saw the blood on them. She hoped her mother would know what to do, she always knew and Buffy felt like she couldn't think straight anymore, the sight of Spike so hurt was making everything too painful.

"Please…I don't know what to do, mom…please?" Buffy fell to her knees and curled up, wrapping her arms tightly around herself, feeling like throwing up as everything that had happened became too much to handle.

Joyce looked down at her daughter and then up into the SUV. She realised that Buffy wasn't alone; in the passenger seat of her car was the vampire Buffy had bought home before.

"What happened?" She crouched down besides Buffy and stroked her hair. Buffy looked up into her eyes and mouthed the word 'please' at her as fresh tears spilled onto her cheeks. "Never mind. We have to get him indoors and then you can explain."

Buffy nodded and struggled to her feet, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand as she swallowed down her emotions. She had to be strong, Spike needed her help and she couldn't afford to be weak right now.

Swinging Spike's legs around, she hooked his arm around her neck and put hers around his waist, holding him tightly as she helped him out of the car. She slowly aided him into the house and then looked at her mother who was waiting in the hallway.

Joyce closed the door behind them and frowned, the vampire looked even worse in the light and she was silently thankful that he couldn't die from lack of blood--or at least, she hoped he couldn't. Leading her daughter into the dining room, she didn't question the way Buffy was acting towards him--the warm and affectionate way she was tending to him and how worried she looked were enough to tell her that something had clearly happened between them.

Buffy heaved a long sigh as she laid Spike down on the dining table and then turned to face her mother.

"I'll explain all this…I promise…but…"

Joyce watched Buffy's lower lip tremble as she turned her head to look at Spike, and it was clear to her what needed to be done. She'd do her best to look after them both so she didn't have to see her usually strong daughter so upset.

"Right now we need to get him cleaned up…get the medical box from the upstairs bathroom and I'll get the one from the kitchen, I think we might need both." Joyce placed a reassuring hand on her daughter's shoulder and watched her nod. She knew what Buffy needed; she needed to be active so she didn't have time to think about the wounds that littered Spike's body--she needed to feel useful.


Buffy scrubbed her hands hard as she watched the blood mixing with the water and swirling down the drain. She blinked away her tears and frowned down at her fingers--the blood didn't seem to be coming off them.

The front door opened and shut again.

Grabbing a towel, she moved silently to the top of the stairs and looked over the banister to see Giles talking to her mother.

"How has she been?" Giles looked concerned as he glanced up the stairs and Buffy ducked backwards so he didn't see her.

"She's been better, she's coping, I think…I don't know what happened between them, if that's what you want to know, I only know what she tells me and I don't think she's ready to tell me anything right now. She was so upset, Giles, I've never seen her so panicked in all my life…it scared me…"

"It's the bond…somehow, some time or another she and Spike bonded, one claimed the other and it seems it was this bond that drove her to take your car to LA. She felt Spike's pain and instinct told her she had to find and protect him."

"Claim? Bond? I don't think I'm understanding this right…are you saying they're linked somehow?"

"From what I understand, they share a…symbiotic relationship…where he feels pain she does too, and vice versa…they can feel each other, sense each other's whereabouts…it will take her time to adjust and there could be further things about this bond that we don't know of…"

Buffy frowned at Giles' words and leant over the banister again, her mother's face bore the same expression as hers.

"What kind of things?" Joyce looked confused.

"I don't know…this claim, it's usually placed between two vampires, it's never been studied thoroughly and I've never known of it happening between a vampire and a human. It's definitely never happened between a Slayer and a vampire. It may take a long time for Buffy to adjust to the new feelings that this has created between her and Spike, her Slayer side may not like this claim."

Buffy stepped onto the stairs and found both her mother and Giles immediately looking up at her.

"I…I'll be fine with this…it…" She held her breath for a moment and steadied herself. "It was me…I claimed him…I didn't realise I was, but it was me."

Giles blinked.

Joyce just looked even more confused.

"Are you feeling any better?" Giles decided not to ask the details of what had happened between her and Spike while she was absent, instead he looked up at her and then gave a sideward glance to Joyce, making it clear he needed to know if her mother knew how she had acted in LA.

"I'm good now…he's safe…healing, I can feel it. Feel him. Will it always be like this?" Buffy walked down the stairs and looked into the dining room where Spike was still laid out on the table.

"I don't know, but I would like the opportunity to record what happens, the abilities the bond gives to you both and how you cope with it as a Slayer."

Buffy nodded, she knew better than to deny Giles the opportunity to study anything and she hoped that his research would provide insight into the consequences of her being claimed.

"I have something for you…from Angel."

Buffy's eyes widened. "Oh god…Giles…I wasn't…you know I wasn't myself."

"He knows. He told me to assure you that it wasn't him who did this to Spike, and that you needed these." Giles handed her the small metal keys and watched her smile down at them, then walk into the dining room.

Working carefully so she didn't disturb Spike's rest, Buffy unlocked each of the manacles and let the chains drop to the floor. She ran her fingers lightly over the cuts on his wrists as she looked down at them and sighed.

In order to tend his wounds her, Buffy and her mother had been forced to remove the majority of his clothing. Now he was lying on the table in nothing but his boots and the makeshift shorts that they had made from his black jeans when they had cut the legs off them. Something had told her and her mother that this was one vampire that didn't wear underwear, and neither of them were quite ready to witness Spike in all his glory.

She turned back to face Giles and her mother, a small smile playing on her lips.

"I should probably get him…" She pointed up at the ceiling and Joyce held her hands up in protest. "Mom…please…I'm not going to stay there with him…he needs rest and it isn't safe down here."

Joyce looked at Giles.

"Don't drag me into this." He smiled and walked towards the door. "I'll call in tomorrow and see how he's doing, and I'll bring all the books I can find on vampires and claims."

"Donuts." Buffy stated flatly and Giles frowned in confusion. "You're not coming into this house with hours of reading without a sugary snack to keep me going."

"She's definitely feeling better." Giles rolled his eyes and then opened the door.

"Giles." Buffy stepped towards him and hesitated for a moment before squeezing him in a hug while desperately resisting the desire to pull away from him. "I'm sorry I put you through hell…sorry I acted the way I did and thank you for helping me…I know this all seems crazy…probably because it is…thanks for not flying off the handle."

Giles smiled down at her as she pulled back and looked up at him.

"I think I've learnt not to push you over the years, and I've definitely learnt not to question your relationship choices." Giles looked over at Spike where he lay on the table. "Though, I'm not going to tolerate sardonic comments from him."

Buffy just smiled and held the door open for him. "Night."

She watched him walk down the path to his car and then shut the door. Turning back into the house, she found her mother smiling at her.

Spike growled.

Joyce's eyes widened.

"Does he do that often?"

"Don't think so…to be honest, I don't really know, guess I have a lot to learn about him." Buffy shrugged and looked over at Spike.

Joyce pointed up the stairs. "Maybe he's better off out of the way. Besides, it would be nice to have my table back."

Buffy bounced on her heels and smiled as she walked over to Spike. She looked back across the room at her mother. "Don't suppose you could grab his feet…he's kinda heavy, dead weight and all?"

Joyce just rolled her eyes and walked over to Spike's feet.

Carrying him up the stairs, Buffy held onto his top half tightly as she manoeuvred him into her bedroom. Joyce didn't know what to think as she watched Buffy arranging the pillows beneath Spike's head and then stopping suddenly.

"Still feels kinda weird." She frowned down at Spike where he lay sleeping.

"You act like you love him."

"Love? No…no…" Buffy shook her head less and less as she thought about the way she was acting and what her mother had said. "No…"

"Just this claim thing, then?" Her eyes followed Buffy around the room as she drew all the curtains shut and checked them over to make sure no sunlight could get through.

"Yeah." Buffy breathed quietly as she looked down at Spike again. Her chest felt tight with mixed emotions and she didn't know what she felt for him anymore. "Just the claim."

 

Love In Vein - Chapter 10

Buffy hugged the mug of tea to her chest as she sat curled up on the couch in her living room. Her eyes fixed blankly on the TV as she tried to figure out just what was happening to her. It had been almost a day since she brought Spike to her mother's house and she had the feeling that soon she would have to start answering the little questions her mother had been asking and allowing her to ignore. Soon she would have to talk about what she'd been through and how the claim came about.

She sighed as she watched the people on the TV, not hearing what they were saying, just seeing the images shifting about on the screen.

She didn't know what she felt anymore.

Since the night she'd been attacked by the vampires, everything had been a whirl of conflicting emotions. She was the Slayer, vampires were her mortal enemy and yet she had instigated a claim on one--albeit subconsciously.

But she had claimed him, hadn't she?

It wasn't like she wasn't her, she had still been in her body, seeing Spike look after her and feeling those feelings.

She had claimed him.

Had the void she'd felt after the attack allowed her true feelings towards Spike to come to the surface because she wasn't holding them back?

She sighed again.

The books Giles had brought over had only compounded her worst fears. That in order to claim Spike she had to have feelings towards him. As far as she could understand from the various texts, claiming was all about the reciprocation of deep emotions that then created a bond between a pair of vampires. This bond allowed them to keep track of each other and in the strongest cases the two could feel each others pain and could find each other over great distances by using their senses. They could also speak telepathically.

That worried Buffy.

The thought that Spike would be able to hear what she was thinking wasn't a positive, it was a definite negative and something told her that he wasn't going to be one to respect her privacy unless she laid down the law pretty quickly.

But still. Being able to hear what Spike was thinking could be a bonus.

Unless he was thinking bad things about her.

Or dirty things.

She remembered the looks he'd given her when he'd had her tied up, the insinuations that he could do a million little things with her.

She shivered involuntarily as her heart raced a little faster.

"Buffy?" Joyce smiled down at her daughter where she sat curled up in front of the TV. "Earth to Buffy?"

Buffy looked up and blinked. "Huh? Oh, hey mom."

"You look tired, sweety." Joyce sat down next to Buffy's feet and sighed. "All this worry can't be good for you, you've not slept since you bought him here. He's safe now, you should get some rest."

"I know. I just don't feel…it doesn't feel right…" Buffy caught the look on her mother's face that said she wasn't taking no for an answer this time. "I will, promise."

"How is he?" Joyce looked up at the ceiling.

"I don't know." Buffy closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, letting her senses reach out to Spike. "He's sleeping still, feels different today, stronger."

"I thought you just said…"

"It's weird. It's like he's a part of me now, I can feel him inside me. I just have to reach out a little and there he is." Buffy stared down at her tea as she tried to reach out her senses again so she could tell what state Spike was in. "He's healing. He still needs more to help him."

Joyce decided she didn't want to know what this 'more' was. She'd seen the new marks on Buffy's neck but knew better than to question her about her actions. Over the years of seeing her daughter grow up, she'd learnt to trust in her instincts, they'd been right on too many occasions now to ignore.

She curled up opposite her daughter and smiled as she reached out and smoothed her hair.

"Mom…" Buffy looked up and took a deep breath, feeling like this was the most opportune moment to tell her. "Almost two weeks ago I was on patrol. A vampire had almost got the better of me…"

"Spike?" Joyce interjected and watched Buffy solemnly shake her head as though Spike's part in what happened was far worse than just almost getting the better of her.

"…He wounded my arm pretty bad and my ankle was sprained. I was running away when I trod onto some weak ground and fell into a tunnel. The vampire…he came down too…was going to kill me." Buffy frowned as the image of Spike appearing through the dust came back to haunt her. "Spike killed him. It was his territory but I think there was something else to it, like no other vampire had the right to kill me. Funny…"

"I don't see what's funny, Buffy. You're saying he wanted to kill you?"

"No…not that funny…it's funny because I kinda think I have the sole right to killing him, like no one else is allowed to. He's mine." Buffy frowned at the weight of that word, never again would she see the word 'mine' as an innocent expression of ownership. "I passed out and when I woke up my wound was sealed up..."

Joyce looked confused.

"It's a vampire ability, they can stem the flow of blood. It's a saliva thing." Buffy said flatly before sipping her now cold tea. "Spike healed me but also chained me up. I don't think he had plans for me…he got drunk one night after I was kinda rough on him…I figured I couldn't fight him physically so I fought him with words."

"Buffy…he could've killed you…"

"I wasn't worried about him, I was more worried about his minions…little vamps that do his bidding. He couldn't leave me alone because they were always around, trying to get to me and talking behind his back." Buffy swallowed hard and tried to ignore the tears that were rapidly welling up in her eyes as all the pain came flooding back. "He wanted to get me food…we'd had this moment…he passed out from all the drink and we fell asleep next to each other…it was…I can't explain it. He left me alone but locked the door so I would be safe, or so he thought."

Moving closer to her, Joyce slipped Buffy's feet over her legs and wrapped her arms about her. "It's okay, Buffy, whatever happened you can tell me…it's over now."

"They tried…they broke in…they tried to…to…I was chained up…I couldn't stop them all and they were scratching at my clothes like hungry dogs…then one of them…he…he was on top of me…trying to…and Spike…" Buffy sniffled as she looked up towards her bedroom and then let herself cry as a sob forcibly pushed free of her lips. She curled up in her mother's arms and held onto her tightly as she struggled for control again.

"He saved you, didn't he?" Joyce stroked Buffy's hair as she cried against her shoulder, her daughter's hot tears seeping through her clothes and down to her skin. Joyce could feel the sobs convulsing Buffy's body and it hurt her to see her daughter so weak. She realised that Spike must have looked after her, must have been there for her when she was so frail and she must have opened up to him as he was the only comfort and safety she had.

Buffy sniffled back her tears and swallowed down a sob. "Spike, I don't know what happened, it was a blur…one moment they're everywhere and then he was carrying me…cleaning me…healing me…that's when I claimed him, he was on a total high from the blood but he must have reciprocated it and I felt safer than I've ever done. I still feel safer than I've ever done. I've never felt so close to someone before and I don't even know how I really feel about him, whether this inside me is just the claim or whether it's real."

She looked up into her mother's eyes and searched them, holding her breath as she hoped to find the answer to all her questions there. Joyce wrapped her arms tighter around her and gave her a gentle squeeze.

"What do the books say?"

"That there has to be feelings there in order to make a claim work and that to have the level of bonding that Spike and I share…the feelings have to be deep. But how can he have deep feelings? He's a vampire, mom, a soulless one…"

"Does that make a difference?" Joyce gave her a questioning look.

It hit Buffy hard in the stomach.

She knew her mother was right, that the soul Angel had didn't give him emotions it only acted as a conscience for the things he'd done and the things he did--a soul enhanced guilt and suffering. She'd seen Spike love, had witnessed it first hand in the way he acted with Drusilla. She'd seen him angry, upset, hurt and happy--all at her own hands. All the emotions had been there without the soul being in place.

Who told her people needed souls to love? Was a soul really the source of emotion or was it merely a catalyst, enhancing the emotions a person was already consumed by. Emotions were of the heart and Spike's heart was dead, but it was still in place and he had been human once. Maybe the part of him that was human had retained its use of emotions and they were just a little slower to come due to lack of soul.

A knock at the front door stole her thoughts away and she moved her legs so her mother could get up and answer it. She stared sightlessly at the television as she listened to the commotion in the hall, her friends asking how she was as they hung their coats up--completely blind to the fact that she could hear them all.

"Is Spike still?" Willow whispered to Joyce as she removed her hat.

"According to Buffy, he's healing. I don't know what we're going to do once he's healed but I'm sure she'll think of something. I know what you're going to say, Rupert, but she's been through a lot and no matter how wrong this seems to us all, I think she really does have feelings for him. It's just a matter of time before she realises what they are. I can't be against her on this; she's my little girl and I've never seen her so close to someone before. I think I've been in this town for too long because I don't care that he's a vampire. What she's been through, and what he did for her…they must feel for each other." Joyce gave Giles a small smile and as he nodded, she knew he was going to keep quiet about Buffy's choice of relationship. All throughout the other night, she could see that he wanted to give Buffy a talk about what she was doing but knowing what her daughter had been through, she couldn't let that happen.

"How is she?" Xander peered around the corner at Buffy where she was sitting curled up with her back to them.

"She's good. Coping, I think. She's been researching the claim and tending Spike most of the time."

"Any signs of the claim manifesting itself?" Giles hung his coat up and gave her a questioning look.

"She can feel him inside her like you said. It's like they're joined somehow. The books she's read have all said the same thing, in order to have that level of bonding the feelings they have must run deeply. I think she's worried about him still. She tries not to show it but it's there in her eyes when I look at her. She's been through a lot…just give her time and she'll be the Buffy she used to be." Joyce walked back into the living room and sat down next to Buffy again, placing her hand on her knee affectionately.

Buffy smiled and gave her mother a warm look that said she'd heard all that and was thankful.

"So…how's the English patient?" Willow gave Buffy a wide smile as she walked into the living room.

"Better…getting there, I think."

"And how are you?" Xander sat down in the armchair opposite her and smiled.

"Better…getting there, I think." Buffy repeated with a smile and then looked up at Giles where he stood next to her. "Thanks for the books…I guess we'll just have to wait and see what this whole claiming thing has in store for me…it's already freaking me out less…probably not a good thing."

"It just means that you're accepting what's happened. There's no way of undoing a claim, at least none I've heard of, but if you were ever inclined to have it reversed I'm sure our vampire friend would know." He looked up at the stairs and Buffy moved her eyes there.

She let a small frown wrinkle her nose as she thought about Giles' well placed words. What if Spike did know of a way to dispel the claim, would she want to get rid of it or would it feel wrong now to not feel close to him anymore? She felt like he'd filled a void in her life so perfectly that without him the hole she used to feel would become a chasm.

"Who wants tea?" Joyce stood up and looked down at Buffy, who nodded as she looked up at her.

"I'll lend you a hand." Giles followed Joyce into the kitchen.

"So…Buff." Xander leant forwards slightly.

"So…Xan." She replied as she felt the hesitant feeling in her stomach worsen. She didn't want to have to deal with his sarcastic questions about Spike--at least not without Spike next to her.

"How are you really?"

"I'm fine. Feeling much better than when I went all cave girl Buffy in LA."

"Cave girl Buffy?" Willow frowned.

"Yeah, Giles says that what Spike feels affects what I feel…he was feral, hurt…worse than hurt but I don't think there's a word for it…hurt isn't strong enough. I went a little feral too…reacted on instinct to protect him, wanted to kill Angel…and Giles."

"Well, that's reassuring to know." Giles raised his brows at her as he walked back into the room and handed her a mug of tea.

"I wasn't going to kill you…" Buffy pouted up at him and then stared at her drink. "God…you think my life will ever be easy? Or will it always throw me curve balls like this one?"


Spike fluttered his eyes opened and moaned as he let his eyes move weakly around the surrounding darkness. His whole body ached as he tried to focus his senses so he could make out something in the room or pick up a scent, anything to tell him where he was.

Struggling on the soft bed, he tried to sit up but flopped back down as the bones in his ribcage protested.

Exhaustion.

Not something he'd ever thought he'd feel.

But he was feeling it.

He was tired, beyond tired. His body ached in an ungodly way and from the painful areas dotted about his body he could tell that whoever did this to him did a fine job. At least three of his ribs were broken; he'd felt them grate against each other as he'd tried to move.

He inhaled deeply, a comforting scent filling his senses and soothing him immediately.

"Buffy?"


She froze as her heart started pounding harder, her blood sounding loud in her ears as she stared blankly straight ahead. Her stomach wound itself into a thousand tiny knots that seemed to be pulling against each other.

Panic.

Her eyes widened.

"Spike." She whispered before dropping her teacup to the floor as she ran out of the room towards the stairs.

Willow gave the rest of the room a nervous look. "Is she going to keep doing that?"
 

Love In Vein - Chapter 11

Buffy took a moment to collect herself as she stood outside the door to her room. Smoothing her clothes down she willed herself into resisting the desire that filled her, the need to rush into the room and look after him now that he was awake.

Grasping the door handle, she took a deep breath and then opened it in a casual manner.

"Up then?" She raised her brows at him as she walked directly to the little lamp on the bedside table and flicked it on.

Spike frowned as the light stung his eyes.

Buffy tensed as she tried to stop herself from apologising.

Frowning still, Spike tried again to manoeuvre himself into a more comfortable position on the bed but winced and swallowed noisily as his ribs sent pain shooting along his nerves.

Buffy hurriedly arranged pillows behind his back and patted them to make them fluffy so he would be comfortable, her façade of coolness slipping.

Spike watched her small hands working to look after him, propping him up as he lay on her bed in nothing more than tiny shorts that used to be his favourite jeans. As she leant over to arrange the pillows on the other side of him, his eyes fell to her exposed neck.

His frowned intensified.

A sudden anger boiled up inside him over the fresh marks on her pale skin.

He caught her arm roughly and tugged her to him, sniffing her neck as he growled low in his throat. As she stilled in his arms and let him inspect her neck, he let his frown melt away and it was replaced with a look of amazement.

They were his.

His marks pronounced beautifully on her throat and exposed for the whole world to see.

Standing slowly, Buffy felt his hand slip from her arm and walked across the room to the door, clicking the lock into place before coming back to sit on the bed next to him.

She took a deep breath as she stared at her hands, avoiding the incredulous look on his face and the way his eyes bore into her.

"You felt better." She spoke to her hands rather than him. Suddenly she felt timid, like a shy girl trying to speak to the school bad boy and not sound stupid.

"Yeah, I do…hang on…I felt better?" Spike frowned at her as he tried to figure out what was happening. Since leaving her in Sunnydale, everything seemed to be a blur and now he was back--in her room and feeling like he was half dead, again.

As her cheeks turned a strange shade of crimson, he realised that there was something going on and he'd missed the memo due to being unconscious.

"Felt. As in…you can feel me or you felt me?" Spike found his frown intensifying as he tried to understand, the ache in his head made it hard to concentrate.

"Spike." She took another long deep breath and raised her eyes slowly to meet his. The look of confusion on his face made her stomach flip with frustration. She wanted to tell him, wanted to just come out with it but she couldn't, the words just didn't want to come. "Don't make a fuss…"

"There's cause for a fuss now? What the bloody hell is going on?" Spike tried to sit up a little and watched her jerk as she went to help him and then stopped herself. "I wake up…feeling deader than I already did and now all this…fuss."

Buffy didn't like the way his eyes narrowed like he'd just hit on the answer with that one little word.

"You're making a fuss of me…you…me?" He arched a brow at her and watched her shift uncomfortably. "Slayer? Buffy? What's going…"

She pressed her finger against his lip so quickly, and with such a force, that she squashed them slightly. He frowned down at her offending finger and she released his mouth.

"While I was…back in your lair…you healed me and I think I…" Buffy let her voice drop to a whisper as her eyes fell to the bed. "Claimed you."

Spike sighed out his breath like he'd just been punched in the stomach. A million questions bubbled up inside him but he pushed them aside as he saw her, her eyes fixed on the bedspread and her head turned slightly to the side. She looked like she was waiting for something. He tensed his jaw as he realised what it was. She was waiting for him to make some kind of sarcastic comment about her claiming him.

He remembered it now, a hazy moment after he'd finished cleaning up her wounds and healing them for her. He'd been enjoying the feeling of her blood in his veins and she had wiped the blood from his lips. He hadn't even thought about her words at the time, or his response. He'd replied automatically, without a thought to the possible consequences of agreeing with her. Something in her body language told him she hadn't known the power of that one little word or the impact it would have on them both if he responded.

Buffy couldn't understand what was taking him so long to say something, anything. She couldn't bear the silence between them and the feeling of confusion inside her made her head and heart ache. She wanted him to tell her it was okay, that everything would be fine and all this was meant to be, that it was destiny or something equally as stupid.

She just wanted some kind of comfort from him.

But he was just sitting there, looking like she'd just said she was having his baby.

Furrowing her brows, she considered leaving the room and giving him some time to think through whatever was going on in his head.

She closed her eyes as she felt a cool hand brush against hers, the palm of his hand covering the back of hers as his fingers wrapped around it and squeezed it gently. A flood of reassurance swept through her and she relaxed a notch. Letting her eyes open a fraction she looked down at their hands and was surprised by how the sight of them soothed her, like they were a symbol of their unity and how he was okay with what had happened.

"All I could think about was you, you know." Spike watched her blink slowly and then raise her head slightly so her eyes met his. "When I was looking after you, when I was going to LA, when Angel of all sodding people saved me from those pricks…"

Buffy smiled as he smiled weakly at her.

"I could feel you inside me. Your pain, it guided me to you. I really thought Angel had done that to you at first." She ran her fingers lightly over his cheek. The bruise beside his eye had now started to fade and the swelling was practically gone. "I could have killed him. Giles says that when you reverted to an animal state of mind that it affected me…I went with you."

Spike frowned as she heaved a long sigh and looked deep into his eyes. He felt relieved to see them so full of life again, vibrant green and shining at him in the low light.

"I can still feel you, Spike." Letting her hand run down his arm she took hold of his hand and pressed his palm against her chest. "Right here."

Moving her free hand, she pressed it against his naked chest and felt lost in his eyes as he blinked at her.

"Can you feel me too?" She didn't know why she felt so nervous about asking him--in all the books that she'd read it had stated clearly that they would both feel the same things. Part of her was scared that he wouldn't want to be bonded to her, that he'd want to break it somehow like Giles had mentioned.

Spike cocked his head to one side and let the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile as he struggled to grow accustomed to the difference in the mood between them--it seemed so tranquil. "Like you're a part of me, pet."

Buffy let her fingers stroke his chest and smiled at him. She could see his wounds were starting to heal, the edges of them no longer red raw but a dull pink, leaving just the cuts themselves a deep crimson colour. She ran her fingers over one that ran down his ribcage and frowned at it as she felt the pain inside him. Spike caught her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Give it time." He let her hand go as she nodded at him.

He tried to shift again on the bed as she smiled warmly at him there was something in it that spoke volumes. She clearly knew what she had gotten into and she seemed to be fine with it and all the implications. She actually looked as though she liked being bonded to him.

He gritted his teeth as he moved too much and pain shot up his side.

"You okay?" Buffy moved immediately, her hands rushing to help him as he tried to sit up more in her bed.

"I'll be fine." Spike swallowed noisily and then froze as he realised how close she was to him. He could feel her warm breath on his neck as she leant over him and her body brushing slightly against his bare chest.

Buffy bit her lower lip as she felt his hands sliding up her arms and his eyes on her neck. As his cool breath tickled her skin, she closed her eyes, letting her body relax against his as she gave silent thanks that she'd locked the door. The last thing she needed was her mother walking in and seeing what was about to happen.

Spike inhaled sharply as he slipped into vampire guise. His fingers grasped her tightly as he wrapped them about her waist and held her to him. Placing a soft kiss on her neck, he quickly followed it with his fangs--piercing her silky flesh where he had done previously.

She gasped as she felt his teeth enter her--the first pull on her blood making her heart feel like it was going to explode from the feelings that flooded it. It beat painfully against her ribcage as she buried her fingers into his hair and clasped him to her neck. She could feel him, inside her, surrounding her. Could feel what he felt on being allowed to feed from her and how her potent blood made his body scream for more.

Allowing him to drink from her for a longer time than she had before, she found herself not wanting to make him stop. The exquisite sensation of pain and pleasure running through her veins was something she didn't want to end.

Spike released her neck and growled quietly as he licked the wound clean. Pulling back, he looked down at it and found himself wanting to sigh over the sight of her beautiful pale skin marked by his teeth and his teeth alone now.

Buffy smiled slightly as she caught the look of amazement on his face, the expression in his eyes soft and tender as he looked down at his mark.

Raising her hand she let her fingers play on his cheek and found his eyes moving to meet hers. He smiled as he blinked slowly.

"Get some sleep. We'll talk more later…about this claim thing…and what happened."

Part of Spike wanted to tell her that he could reverse the claim, that there were methods of undoing a bond, but his more selfish side fought against it and won. He wanted to be hers, wanted to keep this bond between them and deep down inside he knew she wanted to keep it too, no matter what happened.

Or at least it appeared that way.

Why else would she offer up her neck as his chalice?

He smiled at that thought and leant back against the pillows. Even as sleep beckoned him, he could feel his body bursting into action and using the strength from her blood to start healing itself more rapidly.

Buffy hesitated for a moment before standing up. She felt pulled in two directions, one leading her back downstairs to her friends and the other leading her to Spike. She didn't want to leave him while he was still awake; she wanted to stay by his side until she knew he was comfortable and resting again.

Walking until she was stood right by his side she gave him a shy smile and then opened her mouth to speak. Her voice drifted away as she felt his hand in hers, his fingers gently brushing against the palm of her hand as his thumb stroked the back of it.

"Go downstairs, pet. I'll be fine here. Catch a little more kip and before you know it I'll be right as rain again." He looked up at her and noticed her concerned expression didn't fade away this time.

Squeezing her hand, he wondered if she was still feeling as confused as he was. By all rights he should have drained her dry while he had the opportunity, she'd offered up her neck to him and he'd only taken what he needed to help him heal faster. He frowned.

A warm swirling feeling settled itself in his stomach.

It was vaguely familiar, like a distant echo of something he used to know but now couldn't quite remember.

Buffy stroked his forehead and let her hand slip free of his grasp as she turned to switch the small lamp off.

"Buffy." Spike watched her turn to face him in the darkness.

"Yes?" Her voice trembled slightly; the atmosphere around her seemed suddenly heavy.

"Get some sleep…you look like hell."

Buffy smiled at him as his words heated her stomach through. She knew it was the closest thing to concern that she was going to get from him right now.

Walking out of the room, she stopped in the doorway and let her eyes linger on him for a few moments more before shutting it and heading back downstairs.


She cast a glance around the room before settling back down in the spot she'd vacated on the couch and picking up her tea.

She sipped it.

Cold.

How long had she been up there with Spike? There wasn't even a lingering trace of warmth on the cup--it was stone cold.

"How is he?" Joyce gave her an affectionate smile as she touched her knee.

"Getting there. Think it's going to be a while before he's back to his usual sarcastic ways but he's good." Buffy put the mug of cold tea back down on the table and curled up.

She realised everyone was staring at her.

Not her exactly.

Her eyes widened.

Her hands raced to cover the marks on her neck that they'd already seen.

Turning a bright shade of red she buried her head in her knees and then looked up sheepishly at everyone.

"Oops?" Buffy offered with a slight smile but the varying looks of shock on their faces didn't fade.

"Buffy, how could you?" Giles frowned down at her.

Joyce stood up and moved in front of her daughter; sheltering her from the looks that her friends were giving her.

"Buffy's done nothing wrong here. She did what she felt she had to, to help him. She's done it before, it's no different this time and you can't treat it like it is."

Buffy looked up at her mother and smiled as she looked down at her. "Guess you knew, huh?"

"I saw them on your neck that night. I understand why you did it, there's no need for you to feel ashamed." Sitting down next to Buffy she took hold of her hands and squeezed them tightly. "There's no need to be ashamed of anything you feel or do."

"I'm sorry, Buffy. Just after everything you went through with Angel…I just don't want to see you hurt."

"I know." She smiled up at Giles and then at Willow and Xander. "I know what I'm doing though, trust me guys? I know I've been wrong on occasion…but I'm right this time." She watched their faces soften and then grinned. "Plus, if you get all grumpy at me I'll just have Spike eat you."

Their eyes widened.

"Joking…" Buffy grinned and then let her look turn pensive. "Kinda raises a question though doesn't it. If he's going to be a part of my life I can't really let him go around killing people, can I?"

She pouted as she thought about trying to explain to Spike that he couldn't be a free-range fox in the henhouse anymore. As she pictured how happy he'd been that time he'd talked about saving the world because of its 'happy meals on legs' she whined. He was not going to take it well.

"Like I don't have enough problems now I have to think about how to feed a vampire…one who's gonna get cranky about not being allowed human blood."

"He could be useful though, Buffy, in the fight against evil." Willow gave her a reassuring smile. "Besides, you'll have him house broken in no time."

"House broken?" Buffy looked incredulous.

"While you were upstairs with Spike, we discussed what would happen now." Joyce took hold of her hands again. "Of course you'll continue at college but we have to think about where you're going to stay now. No matter how much you try to hide it, I don't think you like being apart from him so we realised that the best move would be for you to move back in here. You'll still be able to get into college and you won't be far from him if you need him."

"What are you saying…you've got that look you get when you've come up with some devious mom plan."

"He's staying here."

"But…" Buffy moved to protest but found herself cut off by a warning look from Joyce.

"No buts, young lady. He can stay in the basement once he's recovered. It's dark enough and he'll be safer staying here with you."

Buffy didn't know whether to wrap her arms around her mother in a hug or to be angry at decisions about her and Spike's living arrangements being made without her. Her thoughts slipped to the sleeping vampire upstairs and she closed her eyes as she concentrated on him.

She could feel him healing, his body relaxed as he slumbered on.

It was comforting to be able to sense him nearby, to be close enough to him to just reach out briefly and feel him there.

Maybe her mother had been right when she'd said she acted like she loved him.

Except it wasn't an act.
 

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