Revelations3

Chapter 17:

As soon as Spike entered her office the next day, Buffy was all excitement.

"Spike your book is amazing!"

He smiled wide, "you finally read it?"

"Yes! Spike it was fantastic. I read it all night. I was up until three a.m.! I
was going to call you to tell you—"

"Why didn't you? I would have loved to hear from my girl."

"At three am?"

He shrugged. "Anytime."

"Well, you'll be happy to hear that I've been a busy bee this morning. I've
called some bookstores for when it's out on the shelves and several are
interested book signings." She was beaming at him.

Spike beamed back at her. "I'm so glad you liked it."

"Liked it? I loved it. I never knew you had such a knack for words."

He smirked, "you never listened."

She laughed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I wanted to ask you—"

"Pet, I need to tell you something." His plan to take her away flew out the
window. He just wanted to do it and get it over with.

She stopped. "Okay. What?"

"Can we sit down?"

Her expression hardened. "You can sit. I'll stand. Nothing ever good comes
when someone says ‘can we sit down?' So just say it."

Spike sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Pet. . . last night I went out
for a drink and—"

"You met someone?"

He was stunned by the frightened expression on her face at the idea. "No!
God, love, no."

"You slept with someone."

"Buffy would you stop? No, that's not it."

"Then just say it!"

"I saw Angel last night. With a girl. They were in a pretty heated embrace
and then they left together," he blurted out.

The silence and the blank expression on Buffy's face were eerie. She just
stood there, not moving and not even looking at him.

"Buffy, pet, are you all right?"

"You saw Angel with a girl?"

"Yes. Pet, I know you're upset about Angel, but you didn't love him
anyway and technically you've kind of been cheating on him with me—"

"That's not it," she told him firmly.

He had a bad feeling about this. "What is it then?"

Walking over to the couch, she grabbed a throw pillow and chucked it at
him. "You're unbelievable!"

Spike's eyes widened as he started to deflect the flying pillows. "What are
you talking about?"

"You figured – what? You got me to open up, we've shared a few kisses,
you got me falling in love with you and then just to cinch the deal you
decide to lie about Angel?

Spike's jaw dropped. "You think I'm lying to you just to – Wait, what did
you say about falling in love with me?"

"Are you not the guy that told Owen I was a hermaphrodite? Are you not
the guy who told Scott you were my brother that just escaped from jail and
you knew how to rip out someone's intestines and hang them with it? I
think you were!" "I wouldn't lie about something like that! How could you
think I'd do that?" He exclaimed.

"Why wouldn't you? I told you what my dad did to my mom, why wouldn't
you exploit that somehow?" she told him, shaking.

He walked up to her, shaking with anger. He stood inches from her face.
"You've gone stark raving mad if you think I would EVER do something like
that to you. If you think I would, then you don't know me at all. You will do
absolutely anything to guard that heart of yours. Even fling sick accusations
at me – the man who loves you more than life. Keep pushing me away
Buffy and I might not come back." With that he walked out of the room,
slamming the door behind him.

Buffy's knees were threatening to give out and she sank, trembling, into
the chair. Tears stung her eyes as the door started to blur.

"Buffy? What the hell happened?" Cordy stood in the doorway, but Buffy
could barely make her out.

"I think I just did a really bad thing," she told the girl, her voice shaking.
She stood up and made her way to the phone. "I um, I need to go for a
while."

"Buffy, you're white as a ghost. What is going on?"

"I just need to call Willow."

Cordy watched her as she picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

Buffy burst into tears.

"Buffy?"

"I messed up Willow. I messed up so bad. He'll never forgive me for this,
never."

"Buffy, what's going on?"

"Can I come over?"

"Honey, I'll come get you okay? Sit tight and I'll be right there."

Buffy hung up and sobbed her heart out, barely registering Cordy
wrapping her arms around her and trying to comfort her until Willow
collected her.

"Spike, you shouldn't have told her," Xander shook his head.

"She should have trusted me!"

"Spike. You can't expect the world of her! Yes, you shared a few
smoochies, a few truths about each other, but come on – do you NOT
remember how at each others throats you used to be? You can't expect her
to just forget it like that. Remember when you told Scott you were brother
that just got out of jail and knew how to hang a man by their intestine? The
guy was freaked AND he told Buffy her psychotic ‘brother' was gonna hang
him if he went out with her. Then, when you're steps closer to her, you
happen to see Angel with another girl and then rush to tell her. "

"You don't believe me either?!" Spike accused.

Xander sighed. "I believe you Spike. You're my best friend. But you have
to make some allowances for Buffy. You haven't exactly been the paragon
of honesty with her. You've carried a fucking torch for her since high school
and then spring it on her out of the clear blue sky. In a strip club no less
AND while she's dating someone.

"She doesn't love him. Not to mention the fact that she was KISSING me
that whole time. Let's also not forget that she was asking me for sex."

"What did she say when you asked her if she was upset about Angel?"

"That, that wasn't what was bothering her, " Spike muttered.

"Right."

"What should I have done then? Not told her? Let him make a fool out of
her?"

"No. I could have told her."

"You would have done that?"

"For the Buffster? Of course."

"Now what do I do?"

"Give her some time. Have a little faith in her, just the way you want her
to have faith in you."

"What if she doesn't?"

Xander patted his back. "She just might surprise you."

Buffy was a balling mass of tears. She must have gone through a whole box
by the time Willow had come, and another one since she'd been at Willow's.
She told Willow everything from the day Spike demanded she be his
publicist to when he left, slamming the door behind him earlier that day.

Willow rubbed her back and listened quietly.

"The thing is he's right. As much as I felt connected to Spike for the first
time, in, well, ever, I was so afraid of it too. It scared me because I felt that
now he could hurt me if he wanted to."

"Which he wouldn't want to do, Buffy," Willow said gently.

"I know. I just thought he was resorting back to all those things he did in
high school. . . I just jumped because it was like ‘oh hey! There's a window
of escape. Just jump out of there and then you won't have to deal with how
you really feel about him.' Except. . . "

"Except what?"

"I didn't expect it to hurt so bad when he walked out the door. And when
he walked away from me, I knew, I knew then that he was right and I was
just protecting myself again. It's just a knee jerk reaction and . . . I've done
it for so long and I don't know how to stop."

"I think the fact that you saw it for what it was when it happened is a
step."

"What's the step after that?"

"Go to him and tell him you're sorry."

Chapter 18:

When Buffy made it home, finally, she was exhausted. She'd stayed at Willow's until late in the evening. She'd been unwilling to go home and face nothingness. Willow reminded her she had to speak with Angel soon. Buffy knew, but she needed to collect herself first. She didn't have it in her to go through a break up, even if she didn't love Angel. And, she wasn't yet ready to face Spike yet. She knew what she had to do; she just needed to gather herself before she could do it. Apologizing had never been Buffy's strong suit. But this, this was more than an apology. This was telling the man she was falling in love with that she was not only sorry, but to please not give up on her. The idea brought fresh tears to her eyes.

Sinking into a warm tub, she mulled over their rocky past. The only time
Spike had ever lied to her was when she questioned him about what he had told Owen. However, the man had been so hell bent on sabotaging her relationships, how could she have not jumped to the conclusion? It was the reason why she made sure Spike never got any information on Angel or spent any time around him.

Not that it mattered now anyway now. Recalling the time on the plane to New York when she'd burst into tears, she remembered how Spike's insistent questioning on whether or not she loved him and her outburst that no, she didn't, had made her cry. He'd scratched close to the surface of her insecurities and fears then and it had frightened her. Also made her look in the mirror and face herself. Much like he did the other day when she'd told him about her parents. The thing about Spike was he was relentless and he could often read her better than anyone else could. It was unnerving.

Her so called boyfriends in the past; including Angel had never been able
to read her. Oh, they'd picked up on certain things about her the way
anyone would being around someone long enough, but they never saw right
to the heart of her the way Spike did. She not only knew how to push his
buttons, but he knew how to push hers as well.

One thing was for sure. Life with Spike was never dull. She just hoped he
didn't give up on her. If he wanted to be with her then it was going to take
some patience on his part. Not that he had exercised enough since he'd
known her, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. She was work, which
she could not deny. Heaven help the man for falling in love with her.

Her body tired, emotions exhausted, Buffy lay down on her bed and her
mind drifted off to Brandon and Tess. She fell asleep thinking of the ways
Spike could give them their happy ending.

A few blocks away, Spike was on his own bed, staring up at the ceiling. All
right, so Harris had a point. It still didn't help take the sting out of her
outright accusation that he'd lie to her in such a way. Like he would ever do
something that malicious to her. Granted the things he'd told guys in the
past to veer them away from her hadn't been all that kind, but after what
she'd told him about her father cheating on her mother, how that was the
beginning of the end . . . well, it made him shiver to even think of doing
something like that to her.

He wanted to see her. Right that second. He wanted to iron it out, talk to
her. He wanted to tell her that he would never leave, could never leave her
as a matter of fact. She was part of him, part of his soul. Losing her would
be like losing an appendage. He sat up in bed, suddenly feeling as if he
couldn't breathe at the mere thought of losing her. Glancing at the clock he
noted it was eleven. Late, but . . . He couldn't wait.

Sod it all, he needed to see her. NOW.

The sound of her buzzer and knocking on her door startled Buffy out of a
sound sleep. She bolted up, feeling the disorientation you feel when you've
been awoken from a deep sleep.

"What the? Where the?" She mumbled as she crawled out of bed and
stumbled toward the door, knocking her knee into the corner of her
dresser. Rubbing her knee, she made it to the door and opened it as far as
the chain would let her. Her eyes widened when she saw Spike on the other
side.

"Spike?" she asked in surprise, blinking at him. God, please let him be real.

"Buffy, can I come in please?" he sounded desperate, he even looked
desperate.

Nodding, she undid the lock and opened the door. They were in each
other's arms the instant he was inside and the door was shut. Spike was
peppering kisses in her hair and over her face. "Do you forgive me kitten?
I'm so sorry baby. I would never leave you. Never. Do you believe me? Are
you all right?" He was murmuring over and over.

Wait just a second here. Wanting nothing more than to lose herself in his
touch and his love, Buffy knew she had to regain some control here and get
to the bottom of things.

"Spike!" she exclaimed on her third attempt to disengage from his arms.
She held her hands out. "Stop. Wait."

"You're still upset with me?"

"No. Why are you apologizing to me? I'm the one that needs to be
apologizing to you."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why? I didn't believe you when you told me Angel was
cheating on me!"

He stared at her agape, "you believe me now? Did you confront him?"

Yes, and no I haven't. Spike. . . " she took a deep breath. "I believed you
the minute you walked away from me. Even before that." Another deep
breath. "I'm . . . " she closed her eyes. "Sorry." She opened her eyes,
ignoring the shock she saw on his face. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I'm
sorry I pushed you away. You were right. I was using it as a defense
mechanism."

Spike gathered her in his arm, holding her tight and pressing a kiss against
her temple. "Baby, I don't blame you for not believing me."

She pulled her head back. "You don't?"

"After all the shit I used to do to keep those ponces away from you? It was
only natural that you'd jump to that conclusion."

"Yeah, but. . . I just apologized for nothing! Do you have any idea how hard
that was?"

Spike burst out laughing and Buffy couldn't help but start to giggle.

"We're quite a pair, aren't we sweetheart?" he asked as he lovingly gazed
at her.

"I'm sayin'," she dropped her head to his chest.

"Does that mean that . . . what you said earlier . . . do you . . . "

She grinned against him. Now who was making who speechless?

She looked up at him innocently. "What?"

He gave her a look and growled, "you damn well know Buffy."

She giggled. "Yes."

"You're . . ."

"Falling. Faster by the minute. You promised to catch me."

"And I will baby, I will. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

Chapter 19:

He was kissing her senseless, there was no doubt about that and she felt that certain thrill within her body as it over heated with his expert touch. When his lips had traveled to her earlobe and started nibbling at it and his hands were now cupping her breasts, making them ache for his touch, Buffy knew she had to stop.

She pulled back, breathless. "Spike, we can't."

He looked at her as if she were insane. "What do you mean we can't?"

"I still have to break up with Angel."

"What?" He asked, dazed.

"I don't want there to be anything be between us. No boyfriends, no
doubts, no anything. I don't want it to be like before when I propositioned
you and I don't want it to be like now where I still have baggage. Do you
understand what I'm saying?"

Grinning lazily, Spike leaned in and kissed her sweetly. "Yes, baby. I
understand. I want that too, because you know . . . when we do make love,
that'll be it right? You'll be mine and you won't be able to leave me."

She nodded. "And I will work on not letting that freak me out."

He took her hand, guiding her to her bedroom. He smiled at her tenderly.
"I won't let it freak you out. You'll see. I'll make this so much fun for you
kitten."

"Definitely won't be boring," she chirped.

"Perish the thought. Now, lets get you in bed."

She crawled into bed and he tucked her in, leaving a gentle kiss on
forehead. He started to get up when she grabbed his arm.

"This wasn't a dream? You really do forgive me?"

He smiled and swooped in, kissing her soundly. "That feel like a dream?"

"Spike," she said breathlessly. "You better go. Before I change my mind."

"I could stay and just hold you," he whispered. "Think of it as a friend
comforting another friend after finding out your boyfriend's been cheating
on you."

She answered by opening the covers to him. He made quick work of
discarding his shirt and climbed into bed.

"Your jeans?" She asked puzzled.

He grinned, "Unless you want something to happen, it'd be good if I kept
them on. I go commando."

She blushed and nodded, snuggling up to him.

He wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head and sighed.
"Kitten, do you have any idea how long I've wanted this? How long I've
been waiting for you to be here in my arms willingly? I feel like I'm the one
in a sodding dream."

Grinning, Buffy pinched him hard on the arm, causing him to jump and
yelp.

"That feel like a dream?" she asked.

"You little..."

She giggled as he now used those expert hands to tickle her.

The next morning, Spike woke up to the feel of Buffy in his arms, her face
turned up slightly against his chest, her arms bent and cradled against him
like a child with some of her hair sprawled out on the pillow and some
across her eyes. He leaned in softly so as not to wake her and swept some
of the hair away from her beautiful face. He gazed adoringly at her, amazed
that he was there with her like this and that she WANTED him there with
her like this. He was having a hard time wrapping his mind around it. It'd
been so, so long that he'd ached for her, loved her from a distance and
wanted to have the right to protect her and keep her in his arms. He still
remembered stepping off the bus in high school on his first day and
thinking there was no way in HELL he was ever going to like Boston.

And then he'd seen her. She was all glowing and gorgeous with her shiny
blond hair in loose waves around her face, her brilliant green eyes
sparkling, her wide smile and angelic laugh. She'd been with Willow and
Xander at the time and all he could do was stop and stare. Later that
morning Willow had been assigned to show him around. When Buffy had
joined Spike, he thought he could impress her with his bad boy routine. A
leer here, an innuendo there and the patented tongue behind the front
teeth and smirk – he'd failed to realize that Buffy was not like other girls
that had fallen for that before. That was not the way to woo her and before
he'd known it they'd been tossing barbs back and forth between each other
and then. . . well, then, he'd dumped red Jell –O in her hair in a fit of
frustration.

"What are you thinking about?"

He snapped out of his reverie to see Buffy looking up at him curiously. He
swept a hand through her hair and leaned down to kiss her. "You."

"What about me?"

"When we first met."

She sat up. "You know what I first thought when I saw you?"

He chuckled, "I don't think I want to know."

"I thought you were hot."

"Really?" he asked, his eyes popping out.

She nodded. "And then of course you spoke."

He laughed. "You never did get over your first impression of me."

"You never gave me a chance," she retorted lightly.

He shrugged, "good point." He gathered her back in his arms. "When are
you going to talk to Angel?"

"I'm going to call him and see if I can see him tonight. In all fairness
though, I was going to break up with him anyway."

"You were?"

"You sound surprised," she looked up at him, quirking an eyebrow.

"I am. I mean, you didn't seem as if you were willing to cut him loose."

"I wasn't exactly WITH him either. I've given him the shaft a lot ever since
New York."

He couldn't help the surge of pride at that. It was because of HIM. "So,
you talk to Angel, get it all done, nice and proper like and then you come
see me?"

"Yes dear."

"That's my girl."

Buffy was loathed to leave Spike after spending the morning with him.
Who would have known that being with someone you loved being with
could be so pleasurable? She chuckled to herself at the thought. Spike was
introducing her to a whole new world. And in it, she was still her. Not a
shadow of herself, still her. Just a more vibrant and happy her. She hadn't
lost herself at all, in fact, she felt as if she'd discovered a part of herself that
she hadn't known about. The part of her that laughed and smiled more, the
part of her that found joy in discovering her feminine wiles. And oh, was
Spike the man to discover THAT with. She was grinning to herself as she
recalled Spike's naked chest and she found her heart speeding up. She
sipped her margarita. Hurry on up, Angel.

"Buffy?"

She looked up to see him, standing there in front of her.

"Oh. Hi," she said lamely.

She found she couldn't even get all that angry at him for cheating on her.
Hell, she probably would have cheated on her too. She was emotionally
handicapped after all. Besides, she'd spent enough time with Spike and his
lips to know she wasn't exactly Miss Innocent.

"Hi. How are you?" He seemed a little tense. Odd, that.

She chewed her bottom lip. Better to do this quick. "Angel, I think we need
to talk."

"So you said this morning when you called." A beat. "You know, don't
you?"

"About the girl on the side? Yeah. I do."

"How'd you know?"

"Little birdie told me. Were you thinking I would never find out?"

Dammit," he swore under his breath. "I thought I saw Spike that night . . .
Can't blame him. I would have done the same thing."

She raised her eyebrows. "Huh?"

"Oh, you don't know?"

"Know what?"

"That he's got a thing for you."

Her eyes bugged. "I knew that. Almost a week ago – how the hell did you
know?"

"Buffy, it was blatantly obvious."

"Really?"

"When we saw him in the bookstore? The first time I met him and you
guys were screaming at each other, nose to nose? You can't have that kind
of passionate dislike for someone without it just being a cover for something
else."

"Wow. I really am blind."

Angel shrugged. "Nah. You guys had a past. Listen, Buffy, the other girl—"

"I don't know if I really need to know this Angel," she said shaking her
head.

"I wasn't seeing her the whole time we were together. When you went
away that weekend with Spike?"

Oh God, did he know?

"Yeah," she said slowly, cautiously.

"I was at a bar and I got pretty hammered . . . it just happened. I didn't
plan it. I felt so guilty about it."

"Is that why you showed up at the airport?"

He looked sheepish. "Yeah. Guilt."

"Oh."

"I told her that it was a one night thing, that I had a girlfriend. An
AMAZING girlfriend, but she wouldn't leave me alone. What Spike saw last
night was me trying to tell her it was over. Unfortunately, she didn't really
want to take the hint."

"Really?"

Angel nodded. "Really. Buffy –"

"It's over, Angel."

He nodded. "I kind of guessed."

"I'm sorry."

"Is it –?"

"Because of what you did? No."

He cocked his head to the side. "Spike?"

"Yeah."

"I kind of guessed. You weren't the same when you got back from New
York. You were so distant."

"Let's face it; I never really was a great girlfriend."

"Well, honestly, you were always distant."

"Yeah, seems to be an epidemic with me."

"I hope he makes you happy."

"Maybe you can still try with that girl?"

"Nah. Too clingy. Need someone not quite so distant and not quite so
clingy."

"In between."

"Exactly." He stepped forward. "Good luck Buffy," he said and hugged her
warmly.

"Thanks, you too," she patted his back. He pulled away and smiled, giving
her a little wave before walking away.

"It all done then?"

She furrowed her brow and turned to see Spike standing there, beer in
hand.

"Did you follow me?"

He looked down. "I guessed. Not bad huh?"

She giggled. "You're something else."

He leaned in and nuzzled her cheek, "you like it."

She sighed, contentedly, "I do."

"Hungry kitten? Let's get some dinner. "

"Yes, I think this can officially be the start of our first official date." And
she slung her arm through his.

"Will I make it to first if I buy you dinner?" he snickered.

"If you're lucky, check with the third base coach. He just might be waving
you in."

Chapter 20:

Spike was smiling so much; his face was starting to hurt. He could have cared less though. The glow on Buffy's face as she spoke to him about his book was inspiring.

"What do you think happened to them?" he asked when she finished telling
him her favorite parts. They were still sitting in the restaurant, sipping on
coffee.

"I don't know," she shrugged, "I mean, I know what I want to have happen
for them, but I don't know. That's your area. You're creative in writing and
music; I'm creative in how to get you in the public eye."

"Well, what happened with Brandon and Tess kind of depended on how
you and I ended up."

She put her cup down. "What?"

He looked down sheepishly. "All that stuff that Brandon did – you did
know he was based on me, right? And that Tess was based on you?"

She blushed a little, "I wasn't sure. I figured it would be presumptuous of
me to think that."

"Well, she's you. Brandon's angel. My angel."

She cocked her head to the side. "You really see me the way he saw her?
The way he felt for her was just so pure and unconditional. For a while
there you had me thinking she was a figment of his imagination or truly an
angel."

"Yeah, princess, that's how I see you. That's how I love you."

"Wow," she breathed.

"Does that freak you out?" he asked tentatively, afraid of the answer.

"A little bit."

"Enough to push me away?"

"No. I don't know if you know this about me, but I love a challenge."

He frowned. "Is it a challenge for you to be with me?"

"No, not like that. I mean that it's a challenge for me to allow myself to
open up and let someone in. It's something I've never done. So I'm
challenging MYSELF to do it. You know when you face a fear? That's what
I'm doing. Facing my fear of allowing myself to open up to you and let you
in. I'm determined to overcome it and let myself be healthy."

He reached out and stroked her cheek, gazing at her lovingly. "You're an
amazing woman, Buffy Anne Summers."

She smiled. "Thanks, but I haven't done anything yet."

"No, you have. You told me about your parents and you allowed me to love
you. You believed me when I told you about Angel. You haven't run from
what we have. Not yet anyway," he finished on a nervous chuckle.

"Just don't give up on me okay?"

"Never."

They gazed at each other for a minute, then Buffy started. "So, what's
going to happen to them?"

"Brandon and Tess?"

She nodded.

Taking her hand in his, he kissed her knuckles. "I guess we'll have to see.
There are so many possibilities for them. Don't you think?"

She nodded, dazed.

"Care to dance with me sweetheart?"

She nodded again and allowed Spike to help her out of her seat and lead
her to the dance floor. Wrapping his arms around her, Spike sung inside
when she leaned in against him, letting him hold her and support her. Their
fingers entwined on his chest, Spike grazed his thumb across her skin and
rested his cheek on the top of her head. He noticed the smiled of the elderly
couples on the floor and he smiled graciously back at them. He knew they
could see what he'd known so long ago. He and Buffy were meant to be.
Two halves of whole, soul mates complete.

"Spike?" she asked him uncertainly, swallowing her nervousness. She
wasn't exactly sure why she was nervous, I mean they'd both made it
abundantly clear they wanted each other . . .

He looked at her, "yeah kitten?" he asked as they stood in front of her
apartment building.

"Um, did you want to come up?"

He broke out into a wide smile, "I'd love to kitten."

She smiled and found her hands were trembling a bit as she fished for her
keys and led him up to her door.

Once inside, Buffy flicked on the lights. "Did you want some coffee? We had
a lot at the restaurant so probably not huh? Some tea? I've never seen you
actually drink tea, though I thought all the British drank tea. How about
some wine? I don't even know if I have wine. I suppose I should really find
out what I have before I offer it to you. I have milk, that I know for sure.
You know, it does a body good and all –"

He silenced her by sweeping her in his arms and kissing her. "It's definitely
done this body good," he whispered, running his hands down her sides and
then pulling her flush against him. He leaned in and buried his face in her
hair, breathing in her scent and nuzzling her neck.

Somehow, she managed to get her limbs working and wound her arms
around him, tangling her fingers in his curls. "I love your curls," she told
him on a murmur.

He grinned against her skin. "Do you now?"

"Always better than when you slick your hair back. Makes me want to curl
my fingers in your hair just to see if they're as soft as they look."

"And?"

"They are," she told him breathlessly as she sought out his mouth. Kissing
hungrily, Buffy found all thought leaving her mind. She'd felt as if she'd
spent a lifetime waiting for this moment. And then she realized, she had.
She'd waited so long for something she never thought she'd be able to have.
Love. To actually feel her skin crackling with pleasure and feel it sensitized
and responsive only to his touch, to the touch of the man that loved her and
she loved back.

Feeling her feet leave the ground, she let out a small ‘eep!' Spike chuckled
against her mouth. "Wrap your legs around me kitten," he told her, his
voice wavering with barely restrained lust.

She did as he instructed and they somehow made it to the bedroom intact.
Stopping along the way as Spike moved her against the wall to devour her.

Once they made it to her bedroom, he deposited her on her bed and the
feel of his body against hers was amazing. She wanted more. Needed more.
She wanted to feel all of him, have him blanket her with his body. She
tugged at his shirt and finally managed to get it over his head. God, he was
gorgeous. She leaned up and latched onto a nipple, delighting in the hiss he
let out.

He groaned as his lips dribbled down her jaw to nibble on her ear and then
down to her neck to lick, suck and kiss. He reared back just enough to help
her discard her shirt and when she lay there, spread out before him in her
bra, his eyes glazed over as she made fast work of unfastening her front-
clasped bra. When they broke free, Spike's eyes widened and growling, he
lunged forward to suckle them, one at a time, in his hot, soft mouth. She
moaned and ran her fingers through his silky hair.

"Spike," she moaned, arching her back to his delicious torment.

He pulled his head up, gazing her hotly, "love it when you say my name
like that," he told her and kissed her soundly. "You're gorgeous you know
that?"

"Now I do," she smiled softly.

He skimmed his hands over her body, "like silk," he murmured.

She wrapped her arms about his neck and pushed herself up closer to him. She could feel his erection against her stomach and she ached to have him inside her. "Please," she begged breathlessly.

"My little minx," he purred and stood suddenly, discarding his pants as he
watched her intently.

She bit her lip and stared up at him with hunger written plainly on her
face. She moved her hand to her jeans and started undoing them, wanting
that monster between his legs inside her now.

He watched her undress and groaned. He stilled her hands and shooed
them away. "I want to do it," he rasped. He slid down her zipper and
tugged on her jeans until the fell down her hips. He stopped when they
were down to her knees and he groaned at the sight of her pink panties
with the bows tied at her hips. He yanked her jeans away and with
trembling hands he started to untie her bows.

"Your hands are shaking," she whispered.

He looked up at her, sheer adoration and awe written all over his face. "It's
you," he said simply.

"You've had sex before, Spike," she chided him lightly. Who was she
kidding? She felt as if it were her first time. Every part of her was humming
for her.

"Not with you, I haven't. Feel like it's my bleeding first time," he
whispered as her panties fell away and left her exposed. She started to
move her legs together, feeling uncomfortable under his close scrutiny, but
he stopped her. He looked up at her. "No. Don't hide from me. You are. . . .
God, you're so gorgeous." He fell to his knees, pulling her closer and she
wondered what he was doing until she felt his mouth on her.

"Oh God," she moaned, her eyes rolling in the back of her head.

"So sweet," he murmured as he laved her. Finding her sensitive nub, he
flicked his tongue against it, making it firm and taut.

"Spike," she gasped, grinding her hips slowly in a circle.

"Every time you say my name like that. . . I want to cum," he whispered
and sucked her clit in his mouth.

She came hard and fast, panting heavily. Her eyes opened and she found
him hovering above her, a smile on his face. He glided a hand across her
face gently. "So sexy when you cum. . . Think it's the most beautiful sight
I've ever seen," he told her as he slid himself inside her core.

Her head rolled back and he started to nuzzle her neck as he moved within
her. She grabbed at him, making him face her and she kissed him hard as
she arched herself up to him, pressing her breasts against his hard chest.
He grunted and started to move faster.

"Baby, want to go slow," he told her and grunted as she moved her hips,
pushing back at him and grinding in circles.

"Faster Spike. I want to feel you. Waited so long. . . " And she ran her
hands down his back, pushing him closer and deeper inside her.

He started moving faster as he buried his face in her neck and bit down
gently.

"Uh…Spike…" she breathed.

He looked up at her, the awe back in his face. "Are you real? Are you really
here this time?"

She nodded and kissed him. Tongues dueling, teeth clashing, they kissed so
passionately it was as if the entire world had slipped away and their bodies
had melded into one. She felt the fire coil inside her.

"I want to watch you," he whispered as he moved even faster and harder.
"I want to watch you cum for me," and he moved his hand to finger her clit,
helping her come. He entwined his other hands with hers.

When she started to cum, her walls tightened on his cock inside her and he
grunted before he spilled himself inside her. She called out his name as he
called out hers and they moved slowly together, riding their orgasm out.

She laid there, her orgasm still ebbing inside her, feeling tired and spent in
the most delicious way. Spike was breathing heavily against her neck, and
every so often kissing it.

"Am I crushing you?" He asked, his voice muffled by her shoulder.

"Not really," she told him.

He rolled slightly, and it seemed to her that he was being careful not slip
out of her. She looked at him in question as he pressed her against him, still
imbedded inside her.

"Not ready to be apart from you yet, luv," he whispered shyly and kissed
her. When he pulled away, she stared at him.

"What are you thinking?" he asked. "Be honest. Don't hold anything back
from me. Please."

"I'm thinking I've never felt so close to another person in my life," she
whispered.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it," she whispered, snuggling against him. "You're amazing to me . . .
" she murmured. "You've melted the Ice Queen."

"All part of my charm," he grinned.

"Definitely not your charm," she teased and then yelped when he pinned
her under him.

"Maybe I need to show you some more of my charm," he waggled his
eyebrows.

She could feel him growing inside her and she let out a moan. "Yes," she
said breathlessly, "please do."

Chapter 21:

One month later

Buffy stood behind Spike as he signed copy after copy of his book, finally published and on the shelves. It was called ‘Revelations'.

She'd almost convinced him to write the sequel so the audience could get
their happy ending. He told her it would ruin the magic of the story and
that the happy ending he'd wanted for Brandon was the happy ending he'd
gotten as Spike. She'd realized he was alive; she'd figured out his love and
returned it. Buffy, that is. However, there was one small glitch.

She hadn't told him yet.

She chewed her bottom lip as she contemplated how to go about telling
him. She'd never said it before. Well, aside from her family and pets. Oh,
and to the most comfortable pair of pajama's she'd ever worn in her life.
She kind of figured that saying ‘I love you' to Spike should be a big deal. It
was her first time saying it, and his first time hearing it. From her. She
quickly disregarded telling him during sex. She'd been moved to tell him as
they made love, but she didn't want him to think it was because their
hormones – was it hormones or pheromones? Dammit, she couldn't keep it
straight. Anyway, she didn't want to fall into the cliché of saying ‘I love you'
during sex. Not that he didn't tell her when they were in full throttle. He
never shut up when they made love. She loved that about him. She always
knew just what he was feeling and what she was doing to him. It wasn't a
mystery. Cosmo would sing him praises. She pretty much had a clear map
to his pleasure points. She knew how to make him growl and keen with
pleasure. Like just the night before when she'd playfully nipped at the spot
behind his ear, he'd growled and she'd found herself pushed into the bed
and then he'd taken her with –

"She's so pretty," an old woman was saying, smiling at her.

"Isn't she? She doesn't realize it though," Spike was saying, smiling at the
old lady.

"You tell her everyday?"

"Every day, ma'am."

The old woman patted his arm and hobbled away.

Buffy's face was on fire. She'd been having naughty thoughts in the
presence of an old lady. In the middle of a bookstore.

Spike looked up at her as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. He
smirked at her and she gave him a ‘look'. He chuckled and turned back
around.

Okay, so. How to say I love you? Over dinner? She almost told him last
week when they were at the hot dog stand on the corner and he'd gotten
mustard on the tip of his nose. It'd been so cute; she wanted to tell him
then. She'd also wanted to say it when she'd stumbled into the kitchen that
morning and he'd been cooking breakfast for them in the boxers she'd
bought him as a joke with red hearts all over it and his signature black t
shirt. She'd laughed at how unmatched he was. Just perfect. Just so. . .
Spike. Her Spike.

But were those the right times to say it? Or did it have to be at a time
when there were fireworks going off and they were drinking champagne
and he was in a tux and she was in Versace? She just didn't know.

"Buffy, you should have said it at any of those times. When you feel the
urge to say it, that's the best time to say it," Willow told her later on over
the phone.

Buffy swiveled in her chair. "Really? When did you tell Oz?"

"I told him while we were doing dishes one morning. I just said it. He
smiled and said it back. When does Spike say it?"

"Any time, all the time."

"Then why don't you return it when he does it?"

"Because it'll be my first time saying it! I want it to be special."

"Buffy, the man is over the moon for you. Has been since high school. You
tell him you love him in a sewer and it'd be special for him."

"So you think going out to dinner isn't a good idea?"

"I think it's very sweet of you, but I don't think it's needed. Just tell him
Buffy."

"I will. Tonight. At the French restaurant that I can't even pronounce."

Willow laughed. "Let me know how it goes."

Buffy was in a foul mood. She'd gone to get her hair done for the night and
as luck would have it, it started to downpour as soon as she'd left the
saloon. It'd fallen completely down despite her best efforts to run and duck
under awnings on the way home. She had an allergic reaction to the new
makeup she bought and her right cheek was raw and red. Spike was late
and she'd torn her nylons. Her shoes didn't match her dress as they had in
the store and she was just not in the mood to go out anymore.

She'd told him to dress up and be at her place at seven, but he'd gotten tied
up at the recording studio. It was almost seven and Buffy realized that by
the time Spike got there now, they'd lose their reservation. She was a mess, she decided as she looked at herself in the mirror.

The buzz of the door jolted her and she started for the door, stubbing her
toe on the way. Limping, she opened the door to reveal Spike in a tux. God,
he was gorgeous.

Promptly, she burst into tears at the sight of him.

"Kitten, what's wrong? I'm sorry I'm late, I tried to get here as soon as I
could—baby, please stop crying." Spike was saying to her as he closed the
door and wrapped her in his arms.

"I'm a mess!" she wailed. "You look so good and I'm a mess!"

"Baby, you look gorgeous!"

"Why do you have to be like that! It's not fair," she wailed again.

"Like what?"

"Perfect," she hiccupped and took the hankerchief he offered her, blowing
her nose loudly. "You always know what to say to make me laugh. You're
sweet when I want to be angry at you and then I can't be angry at you."
Hiccup. "You're constantly supportive, always listening to me and you
never give up. You're relentless you know that?" Hiccup. "You always seem
to know what I'm thinking when I don't even know what I'm thinking . . .
You're perfect and brave and I wanted tonight to be special before I got
caught in a rainstorm, bought stupid new make up and tore my nylons and
my shoes don't match and all I wanted to do was take you out so I could tell
you that I love you!"

She barely heard him gasp as she continued. "You swept me off my feet
and I wanted to sweep you off yours but how can I when I look like
someone rubbed poison ivy on the side of my face and now I have raccoon
eyes. And you . . . in a tux! You're gorgeous you know that? I'm Quasimodo
and you're Esmeralda!" She blew her nose loudly.

"Buffy, what did you want to tell me tonight?"

She hiccupped, "I love you," she said mournfully.

Cupping her face in his hands, Spike made her look at him. "Look at me
my poison ivied raccoon," he smiled tenderly. "You love me?"

She nodded.

"Could you say it again?"

"I love you, Spike."

He closed his eyes and Buffy wasn't sure what to do next. When he opened
them again, he was gazing at her with such intensity, her breath caught.

"You just made my entire life," he breathed.

"I wanted it to be special. I wanted to tell you so you'd always remember
it."

"Buffy, luv," he started and then smothered her in a kiss. "Buffy, I don't
care where you tell me. Just that you told me just that you told me because
you feel it. You love me. You do, right? Tell me again."

She couldn't help but giggle at how cute he sounded, wanting to hear it
again.

"I love you."

"Again."

"I love you."

He started dotting her face with kisses. "I've imagined you telling me that
so many times, Buffy. In so many different ways. "

"How? Did it include dinner?"

He chuckled. "Somwhere in there I'm sure it did. But you've told me in my
mind when we're making love, when we're walking the streets of Boston
hand in hand, when we were in high school and we sat together at lunch. I'd
imagine you leaning across to me and whispering ‘I love you'. A million
different ways have I imagined you telling me you love me. Nothing could
have prepared me for how incredible it felt to actually hear it." He kissed
her, passionately. "I will remember this for the rest of my life." he told her
and picked her up, cradling her against him as they walked to the
bathroom.

"What are you doing?"

"Let's take a bath. You look a little frazzled. Then I'm going to make love to
you and we'll maybe even eat," he grinned.

"No."

He froze. "No?"

"No, I don't want you to make love to me."

His face fell. "You don't?"

She shook her head. "I want to make love WITH you."

He beamed at her and kissed her so hard; she feared they'd fall over.

Pushing inside her, Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and stared up into his eyes, knowing they reflected the love he shone back at her. She leaned up and kissed him sweetly as they moved together, slowly, deliberately. Both of them wanted this to last as long as possible.

"Spike," she whispered and took the lobe of his ear in her mouth.

He grunted.

"I love you," she whispered and he started to move faster within her. "I
love you," she told him again.

"Buffy," he moaned and thrust harder. "I love you."

"I love you," she told him again, this time pulling her head back so that just
the tips of their lips were touching.

"Again," he begged.

"I love you," and she could feel the heat coiling inside her, she was ready…
she was going to…

"Again!"

"I love you!" and they exploded together.

Spike fell on top of her, panting. She stroked his back, trying to reign them
both back down to Earth.

Leaning up on his elbows, he looked down at her lovingly. "I love you so
much Buffy. So, so much. I've loved you forever and now you love me back.
It's the most amazing feeling in the world to be loved by you."

Kissing him, she caressed the side of his face. "Now you know how I feel
being loved by you."

Chapter 22:

I cannot thank you guys enough for the reviews you've left. It brings a smile to my face and it makes me want to write, write write until I just can't write no more!! Thank you all SO much!!!

Three Months later

Buffy moved about the bathroom getting ready for work as Spike showered.

"Sweetheart?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you pick up some milk on the way home? We're out."

"Sure. Are you going to be passing by the dry cleaners?"

"I can if you want me to."

"Yeah, I need my clo—" She stopped abruptly.

"Oh and can you pick up some swiss cheese? I really liked that kind you
picked up last time."

She wasn't paying attention. She was looking around. His toothbrush in the
toothbrush holder right next to hers. His shaving cream, razor, deodorant,
cologne. She marched into the bedroom and flung open the closet. His
shirts, pants, jeans, shoes. She stared at it as if she were only seeing it for
the first time.

"Buffy?"

She spun to see Spike with his towel wrapped around him. "I was talking to
you and you walked away. You all right?"

"I'm fine," she chirped.

He cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. "I know that voice.
What's going on?"

She rolled her eyes. "Can you get out of my head for two minutes?"

He smiled, "nope. I like it there."

She pushed him, his torso was still wet and he was warm from the shower.
He was so beautiful. "Go get dressed before your editor has my head."

"Your head?"

"Yes, I distinctly remember you telling her the last time you were late was
because I was on your case about putting a new roll on the toilet paper
holder."

He grinned. "Oh yeah."

"Yeah, thanks for that by the way."

He tucked his tongue behind his teeth and leered at her. "I could think of
other things to do that would make me late…"

She laughed and pushed him into the bathroom. "I have work too."

"You sure you're all right?"

"Uh huh."

"Give me a kiss before you go?"

She leaned in and kissed him sweetly, giggling when he hauled her up
against him. "Spike I'm getting all wet!"

"I can make you wetter," he told her huskily and nipped at her lips.

She laughed. "GO."

"Fine. You're no fun you know that? Don't you know it gets the creative
juices flowing?"

She rolled her eyes. "Supposedly it makes you a better cook too, but…you
know whatever." "Hey! Who burnt water last week?"

"Because SOMEONE was ogling me on the couch."

"Rather eat you anyway."

"Spike!"

"What? You can't tell me after four months you don't know that yet?"

She shook her head, "you're such a dirty boy."

"Don't you want to clean me up?"

She laughed at him and pointed to the bathroom. Like a dog with its tail
between his legs, he finally entered the bathroom.

Buffy sat at her desk tap, tap tapping away with her pen and staring off. It
would seem that for all intents and purposes, her and Spike were living
together. Just about everything he needed was there. However . . .
everything she needed was at his place too. She'd just bought an extra robe
for when she stayed at his place. Along with a toothbrush and some
clothes. Her heart started to race. She was basically living with Spike.
When did that happen? Did she miss that memo? It had just snuck up on
her. Really, that morning when he'd gone on about the milk and she'd taken
a look around her . . . huh. So, now what? Were they ready for that? Was
SHE ready for that? She'd never lived with anyone before. Certainly not a
GUY. Spike was more than a guy though. He was her boyfriend. Somehow
he'd fit into her place though and she in his. Somehow it'd managed to slip
by her for quite some time and if there was anything amiss in Buffy's world,
she was always the first to catch on to it. Which meant that they fit so
perfectly together that it was natural for her to have him co-habitating with her.

Now what?

Spike picked up her dry cleaning and was on his way up to her apartment when he stopped in the middle of the hallway. He didn't have a key. How was that possible? He had everything under the sun in her apartment, but he didn't have a key. He let the dry cleaning brush the floor as he thought about what exactly was the ‘everything under the sun' he had in her apartment. Then he compared that to what she had in her apartment.

Slowly, a broad smile spread across his face. Then an idea struck him and
he nearly sprinted out of her building.

Buffy licked her lips nervously as she looked around the kitchen. Salad,
check. Garlic bread, check. Wine, check. She smiled. Thank god for catering
services. She'd gotten swamped toward the end of the day and couldn't
make an early break. Plus, she'd taken an extra long lunch picking Spike up
a present. That's what was making her so nervous. Not just for him, but for
her as well and the implications of it all and . . . she just needed to stop
thinking. She was doing the absolute right thing.

The buzzer buzzing cleared her thoughts and she smiled in anticipation.
She was glad she'd told Spike to come by for dinner tonight. He'd wanted
her to come over to his place tonight, muttering some odd reason why and
she'd forged ahead and told him she wanted to be at her place. After some
hemming and hawing, he'd agreed.

Opening the door for him, for possibly the last time, she smiled brightly at
him.

"You look a little flushed. Been slaving over a hot stove?" Spike asked as he
kissed her gently.

"More like slaving over the cartons of food to dish them out."

Spike laughed and took his jacket off, tossing it on a nearby chair.

"Spike," she said firmly.

"Right." He picked up the jacket and hung it up in the closet.

Settling into dinner, they tucked in and chatted about their day. Once they
were done and full up, Spike leaned across the table and took her hands in
his, kissing them.

"I love you," he told her.

She smiled, "I love you too."

The look of awe came on his face. It was always there when she told him
that. Like he still couldn't believe she loved him.

"I have something for you," he told her, suddenly looking nervous.

"I have something for you too," she took a deep breath. Moment of truth.

He looked surprised. "A gift?"

"You could say that. You have one for me?"

"You could say that."

They eyed each other suspiciously.

Spike reached into his pocket at the same time Buffy jumped up and
grabbed the small box off the top of the fridge. She wasn't even thinking
about what his gift could possibly be, all her energy was focused on giving
him hers. When she sat down and saw the little box, the same size as hers,
in front of her, she looked up at him. What could it be?

He stared at the box in her hand.

"Oh, here." She thrust the box at him. He started to take it and she held on
to it.

"Buffy?"

"Sorry," and she let the box go.

"They're the same shape," she reflected.

"Hmmm. Open at the same time?"

"Um, okay."

She whipped the top of the box off and gasped at the same time he did.

Both of them held up their gifts and looked at each other in surprise.

"Is this key to your apartment?" Spike asked, holding up the key that was
in the box.

"No, it's to my car, Spike," she told him sarcastically.

"You don't have a – oh right. Well, I can tell you that's not a key to my car,
" he told her gesturing to the key he gave her which she now held in her
hand.

They started to laugh at the same time. Then Spike moved out of his chair

and knelt in front of her. "Buffy, does this mean what I think it means?"

"What do you think it means?"

He cleared his throat, looking nervous again. "I'm hoping, that is, I was
going to ask you—Buffy are you asking me to move in with you? Because
when I got you that key I was going to ask you to move in with me. I know
how freaked out you get about stuff like that so at first I was going to just
tell you to use it whenever, but now that I have your key in my hand . . .
Buffy were you going to ask me?"

She leaned in, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Yes," she whispered.

He beamed at her and devoured her lips in the next second.

She pulled back. "Where are we going to live then?"

"Where would you like to live, kitten?"

"Um, can we do my place? I mean, yours is a total bachelor pad and you
know how I am about change—"

He shushed her with a kiss. "Say no more kitten. "

Now she beamed at him. "Can you take me to our bed now?"

He stood up and grabbed her, sweeping her up in his arms and carrying
her to their bedroom. "I really like the sound of that," he told her as he laid
her down on the bedspread. Caressing the side of her face, he gazed down
at her tenderly. "You're really my girl."

She smiled, "I have been for a while now Spike."

"Sometimes I still have trouble remembering that you're really here and
its not one of my fantasies going out of control and that one day I'll wake up
in a strait jacket in a padded room."

She smiled. "If you do end up there, I'll visit you everyday."

He tickled her until she begged for mercy. She wrapped her arms around
him and brought him close. "If you're in the mental hospital, then I'm there
too. Because sometimes I think I dreamt you into life."

She could have sworn his eyes were filled with tears, but in the next
minute he was kissing her and setting about making love with her,and she
couldn't have been too sure.

Chapter 23:

A/N: Song by James Marsters/Ghost of the Robot. (It's one of my faves so I couldn't resist putting it in here)

Six Months Later

"You're going to do WHAT?" Xander exclaimed as he helped Spike prepare for the show he was putting on in one of Boston's most elite night clubs.

"I'm going to ask Buffy to marry me," Spike told him, grinning. Inside
however, his stomach was a mass of knots.

"Don't you think it's soon?"

Spike's eyes bugged. "Soon? Xander I've been in love with Buffy for years
now. Over a fucking decade. No, I don't think it's too soon."

"Maybe not for you, but what about Buffy? I mean, you guys just moved in
together six months ago!"

Spike sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Don't make me any more
nervous than I already am."

"Spike, I'm not saying not ever do it, I'm just saying maybe wait a while.
Give it a few more months."

"No, I want to do it now. I feel it. It's the right time. I've been right so far
haven't I? I was right to tell Buffy I loved her—"

"Because that worked so well when you did."

Spike went on, ignoring him. "And I was right when I asked her to move in
with me. And now I know I'm right in asking her to marry me."

"How are you going to do it?"

"The classic way. Bended knee and all that. She's a sap underneath it all
you know? Going to do it the right way and give my girl the best."

"I wish you luck."

She comes home to me after a hard night's work
Falls in my arms and sleeps like a bird
Startled, she wakes up, like she don't know me
Cocks back her fist like she's going to slug me
Like, who are you anyway
And what are you doing to me?

"So, Buffy, how are things going with Spike and the whole living together thing?" Xander asked non-chalantly as they watched Spike perform. This was one of her favorite songs by him, and even though she'd heard it a million times, it didn't mean she wanted to be interrupted just then to chat with Xander.

She's an angel
But she can't see it
She's got wings,
But she can't feel 'em
She's an angel
But she can't see itBut she's flying above me every day
Every day of my life

"Great, everything's fine," she told him absently as she gazed at Spike
adoringly from the stage. He was so beautiful and amazing.

Bright diamond eyes with daggers beneath them
She carries the chains of a million decisions
They weren't even hers to begin with anyway
But she carries them all
All the people around her
Never even notice that she's very very tired

"So things are well then…moving at a good pace for you?"

"Yep, perfect. He's got to be the most patient man ever."

"Yeah, sometimes," Xander muttered.

"Can I tell you something Xander?"

"Anything Buffster."

She's an angel
But she can't see it
She's got wings
But she can't feel 'em
She's an angel
But she can't see it
But she's flying above me every day
Every day of my life

"He's the One." And she went back to watching Spike sing his heart out.
Xander grinned. Maybe Spike wasn't wrong after all.

Spike listened happily as Buffy chattered on and on about how great his performance was and how she had other venues lined up for him along with a radio show interview at one of Boston's hottest rock stations. Soon he'd be climbing the charts.

"Pet, can we put shop away for a while?"

She nodded and wrapped her arms around him. "Sure. Did you want to go
out for a bit? You must have energy to expend from all the adrenaline."

"I do, but I don't want to go out. I have other ideas on how to expend that
energy," and he nipped at her shoulder causing her to giggle.

"You always have other ideas on how to expend that energy."

"Complainin'?"

"Never," she whispered in his ear and sucked his earlobe in his mouth.

"Because I have to say, seeing you up on stage with that guitar, and hearing
your sexy voice all night . . . that was some good foreplay for me."

Spike groaned on a chuckle. "Oh luv, you're killing me here."

"That's the plan."

"I love you, my little minx."

She smiled triumphantly at him. "Let's go home and celebrate hmmm?"

Nodding dazedly, Spike followed Buffy out the door.

His hands were trembling, he noticed as he tried to work their key into the
lock. God, that sounded so nice. THEIR key. Their home. One day,
hopefully, their house would have children in it and wedding pictures all
over the damn place.

"Spike, are you all right? You're shaking," Buffy noted with concern as
Spike finally got the door open. She took his hands in hers. "You cold?"

He shook his head. "Baby, can you give me a minute on the balcony? I
want to make it all romantic like."

She smiled and nodded. "I'll go change."

"Okay, luv."

His heart racing, he went to the kitchen and took out two wineglasses,
champagne, and collected some candles. Making his way outside, he placed
the candles along the floor, outlining the balcony and lit them. Pouring some
champagne, he waited for Buffy. He was bursting at the seams as he felt
inside his pocket for the black velvet box with her ring inside. The ring he
hoped she'd accept. God, what if she didn't? What if she said no? Then what
would he do? Now that he had her love, he didn't think he could go back to
not having it. It'd kill him. He'd die. He'd be a shell of a man without her.

He took small comfort in Xanders seeming change of heart before leaving
that night. He seemed to think all would end well.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she came out onto the balcony, her thigh
length red satin robe tied around her securely, her hair tumbling down in
waves around her face.

He stared at her, transfixed. "Buffy, you blind me."

She smiled, then took in her surroundings. "Spike…this is so nice. All
romantic like," she teased and took the glass of champagne she offered him.
"To your concert being a success tonight," she raised her glass.

"To you. The best thing that could have happened to me," he clinked his
glass against hers and she blushed.

"Buffy, come over here please," he told her, taking her hand and bringing
her closer to him.

"What's up?"

He took a deep breath and gazed into her eyes. "I love you Buffy."

She smiled, I know. I love you too."

"I knew I loved you the minute I saw you and it's never changed, never
faded. I'm going to love you for the rest of my life, Buffy. Just you, and only
you. When you became my PR girl and we went away to New York, it was a
bloody revelation for me. I realized on that trip that you could possibly feel
something for me too and that I'd do anything to keep you by my side.
Forever." Kneeling down in front of her, he heard her soft gasp, but pressed
on. Taking her hand in his, he kissed it. "Buffy Anne Summers, you are the
love of my life. You are the one I've dreamt of, the one I've longed for, the
only one I've ever needed and wanted. I can't imagine spending my life
without you and I don't want to, ever." He reached into his pocket and took
out the box. Opening it to reveal a Princess cut diamond, he held it out to
her and watched as she put her hands over her mouth and tears welled up
in her eyes. "Buffy, will you marry me and make me the luckiest man in the
world?"

Her gaze finally met his and she gushed, "yes, yes. Oh Spike . . . William . . .
William, yes, I'll marry you."

Spike was up in a heartbeat, taking her hand and gliding the ring on with
shaky fingers. The instant the ring was on, he was all over her, kissing her
breathlessly, peppering her lovely face with kisses and holding her tightly
against him just in case she disappeared like a dream.

"Buffy, Buffy, Buffy, I love you. My Princess . . . My love . . . Do anything
for you I would," he muttered as he kissed her senseless. Hoisting her up,
she wrapped her legs around his and he stumbled in through the sliding
door.

"Spike! The candles."

"They'll blow out, they're in votive holders. It's fine pet."

That seemed enough for her. She pressed her lips against his and they
made it into the bedroom. Descending as one beast onto their bed, Spike
couldn't seem to touch her enough. He felt like it was their first time all
over again. Buffy was his. All his. She was going to marry him. She was
going to be his wife. She was going to have his ring on her finger and marry
him. She was his forever now. He pulled back and gazed at her reverently.

"What?" she asked, her face flushed and eyes darkened with desire. He
could see her love for him shining through her.

His eyes pricked with tears. "I've waited for you for so long . . . "he
murmured, caressing the side of her face and running his hand through her
hair. "Don't ever wake me up if I'm dreaming."

She shook her head. "You're not dreaming. I'm right here and I'm not
going anywhere. For as long as you've waited for me, I've waited for you
too. I just didn't know it . . . You're the only one for me. You're simply the

One."

Kissing her hungrily, Spike set about worshipping his love. Every kiss,
every touch, every caress was like a worship service for his Buffy. When
their bodies joined, Spike felt his heart expand so much, he thought it'd
burst out of his chest. Not caring how much of a ponce he was making of
himself he let the tears drop from his eyes and soak into her skin. She
kissed them away and he assured her they were happy tears. She held him
close to her as they moved together and when they reached the climax of
their devotion to each other, she had tears in her eyes as well.

Chapter 24:

A/N: Gotta say, I'm really going to miss this one. I had so much fun writing it. I wanted to thank the ones that took the time to review this story. You guys are the best and it meant so much to me.
I decided to add a little bit of everything to this one as much as I could (thank you Kimber, you helped with that one!) Here it is....

First Anniversary

Since it was the first anniversary of their marriage, they'd discussed the options: Dinner, dancing. . . Both too traditional – and lets face it, they were anything but traditional. Besides, traditions like that—unless organized by Spike – tended to fall flat on its face before it could lift off.

Then Spike suggested an activity that had Buffy laughing and beaming.
New York. The place where they'd started on the crazy journey of their
lives together.

"Remember when your dad did YMCA with my mom?" Buffy giggled as
she sat next to her husband on the plane, her head resting on his shoulder.
He chuckled at the memory. "I can't remember the last time I saw her
laugh like that."

"For my dad too. And hey, how bout my matchmaking skills with my dear

old cousin and Xander?" Spike pointed out.

"Please! I came up with that idea long before you did. I just let you think

you set them up."

He pinched her arm lightly and she let out a little yelp.

"Now, now kitten. Gotta be quiet before everyone thinks we're trying to

join the mile high club."

Her blush caused Spike to grin widely. He loved that his wife could still

blush at sexual innuendo's like that.

Chewing on her bottom lip, he knew she was thinking something.

"What?" he encouraged.

Wordlessly, she grabbed the blanket next to her. She looked around, no

one else in first class thanks to Spike for having bought it out. So why not

utilize it right? She draped it over their laps.

He raised an eye brow. "What are you up to luv?"

"Hi, my name is Buffy Marsters and I'll be your host on this flight."

He grinned. "And what is the flight called?"

"The Mile High Club flight," and she eased her hand into his lap.

His eyes rolling in the back of his head caused her to grin wickedly.

Spike strolled out of the bathroom, steam following him. "Pet, you

should've joined me," he told her as he started hunting for his dress pants

in his suitcase. "I would've behaved." He looked over at her sitting on the
bed ramrod straight a hand on her belly.

"Pet? You all right?"

Her gaze jerked to his, as if just realizing he was there. "Yeah, I'm fine."

He cocked his head to the side. "Sure?"

She nodded," yeah, uh, you get dressed, I'll be quick." And she practically
ran to the bathroom.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Right, you'll be quick," he called after her.
"Definitely not that, kitten." His memory switched back to the time they'd
been here before and she'd launched into the shower and back, all to make
it in time for an interview. God, that time seemed so long ago. Back then all
he could do was hope and pray she'd learn to love him back. Never in a
million years had he expected to be where he was now. Yeah, he was
successful in his career, but the only thing that mattered in his life was his
Buffy. Keeping her happy was his main priority and so far he hadn't
mucked it up. The girl he once thought he'd die loving unrequitedly loved
him back whole heartedly. He grinned to himself and reached into the
bottom of his suitcase. Taking out blindfold he hummed to himself. He had
one surprise for his beautiful wife tonight.

"Spike, I don't know about this," she told him as he wrapped the blindfold around her head after dinner was over.

"Pet, when have I ever led you astray?" he whispered huskily in her ear as
he knotted the blindfold loosely.

"That's a loaded question if I ever heard one," she retorted.

He chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose. "Trust me, pet." And then he
took her hands in his and guided her outside. She clung to his arm with her
other hand, trying to find her equilibrium. Much like the first time they'd
been there and she'd leaned on him for protection.

He'd noticed during dinner she'd been a bit jumpy and a tad quiet. She'd
joined him in reminiscing about their picture perfect white wedding, but
just the same she was distracted. As if she had something to say, but
couldn't find the right way to say it. He'd wait. If he knew his wife, she'd
find a way to say what was on her mind eventually. Meantime, he hoped to
loosen her up.

"I think we still have a slice of our wedding cake in the freezer," she mused
absently as he guided her along the sidewalk.

"Think it's still good?"

"I don't know. I just want to mash it in your face like you did to me at the
reception."

He laughed. "You were an open target, what was I supposed to do?"

"Put it in my mouth nicely like I did to you?"

"Now Buffy, that wouldn't be me if I followed the rules and played nice.
Kind of reminiscent of the Jell-O in the hair eh?"

He knew she was rolling her eyes behind that blindfold.

Finally reaching their destination, he brought her closer to him and guided her inside the establishment.

She sniffed the air.

"What are you doing, Nancy Drew?" he asked, rumbling in her ear, taking
delight in the shiver that coursed through her.

"Relying on my other senses to tell me where I am."

Stepping into the room, he slipped the knot undone. "Wonder no longer."

She gasped. "You brought me to a strip club?!"

"Not just ANY strip club Buffy. THE strip club. The place where I first told
you I was in love with you and had for what feels like my entire life."

She shook her head, "Spike, I don't like this idea."

He frowned. "What is it? I thought you'd like it."

"I don't think this is the place for me anymore."

"What are talking about? Buffy, I'm just trying to recapture that
weekend." He noticed she was clutching her stomach. "Are you sick? Buffy,
what is going on?"

She turned to him, "I feel dirty being here."

"Buffy, it's not a big deal. You had no problems the first time—"

"I wasn't a mother then!"

His eyes bugged and he stood frozen, staring at her. "What?"

"I found out tonight while you were in the shower. I missed a period but I
figured it was stress. I had a check up the other day and the doctor wanted
to take a test just in case. I gave him my cell number and he called while
you were in the shower. "

"You're pregnant?"

She nodded. "I was a little stunned. I didn't expect it. I know you have a
tour coming up and it's a bad time but –"

"I'm going to be a father!" Spike shouted at the top of his lungs. Silence fell
over the club as everyone turned to stare at the couple.

"Spike," Buffy hung her head, mortified. "Now is really not—"

"Hear that? Me, a dad. See this woman? This is my beautiful wife, Buffy.
Bloody brilliant and perfect, she is. Loved her forever, I have and now she's
the mother of my baby. Our baby. OURS. "

Buffy grabbed his arm and dragged him outside before he could make even
more of a spectacle of them. "Spike, honestly, what is it with you and big
announcements?"

Grabbing her, Spike wrapped his arms around her then backed off. "Am I
crushing you? Hurting you?"

"Spike, I'm pregnant. I'm not going to break."

Lifting her off the ground, he twirled her around. She couldn't help but
giggle at his antics. He set her down on the ground and cupped her face in
his hands. "Just when I think you couldn't make me any happier, you prove
me wrong."

She smiled, "Same here."

"I'm ready to dance up and down this sodding sidewalk and announce it to
the world singing in the rain style that I am the husband of the most
incredible woman in the world that she has just made me a father."

His earnestness caused tears of joy to burst forth. "Can you just kiss me
before you get all Gene Kelly on me? I want to hold onto the most
incredible man in the world that just made me a mother."

"Whatever you wish, my love. What you wish, I'll make come true."

"You already have," Buffy whispered just before covering his lips with
hers.

THE END