chapter 11

Back at the library, Xander commented, "Ok, want to tell me again why we're leaving Buffy alone with a murdering bloodsucker?"

Giles threw a heated look at the teen. "Xander, need I remind you yet again that Buffy is the slayer?"

"Yes, and I'm sure that will do her a lot of good when he has her under his thrilling thrall thingie."

Giles cast his eyes towards the ceiling in a fit of impatience. "Xander, I am well aware of the implications here. And while I too have my doubts, I don't think our presence is required at this time."

"G-man, he's a killer!"

"I am well acquainted with that fact, thank you. And I would appreciate if you did not refer to me in such a...common way."

"Sure thing, G'sters."

"Oh good lord. Is there anything wrong with keeping a name the way it was intended?"

"Such things offend the XanMan." Xander replied as he put his feet up on the table and leaned back, appreciating the fact he was managing to ruffle that cool British reserve.

Giles pinned an annoyed look on the smug teen. "You should consider yourselves fortunate that I allow you to get away with referring to me by merely my last name without doing your best to butcher it, you know."


"Ok, Rupert."

"Oh, for God's sakes." Giles turned to the stack of books on the research table, then in an attempt to rid himself of the troublesome teen, he commented, "Well, I have quite a bit of research ahead of me. Perhaps you care to help me out?"

That caused Xander to jump to his feet, as he grabbed his bag of chips and clutched them tightly to his chest. "The XanMan would, but I promised Willow I'd be over at her house about...." Xander made a point of looking down at his wrist, which was unadorned and bare. "Oh gee, would you look at the time. I gotta go."

Giles gave him a pained look, but told him to go. Xander practically ran for the exit in his hurry to escape researching hell. Before he went through the double doors, he suddenly paused and turned back to Giles, all traces of the obnoxious teen wiped off his face. "Giles, do you really think Buffy is going to be ok?"

Giles let out a deep sigh and sank down heavily into one of the chairs, taking a moment to answer. "Quite honestly, I'm not sure, Xander. I'd like to hope that things will all work out, but we are dealing with an extremely dangerous vampire here. Very old and powerful. But, from what I've seen, he's not fitting the mold of a typical vampire. I do know that he saved Buffy's mother's life today, and as a vampire, to be that close to that amount of blood and not act on it,.... well, it's enough to make me wonder. Spike apparently has quite a rigid control on that part of him that makes him a monster. However, I just pray that it is enough."

Xander stood in the doorwayfor a moment, pondering Giles words. "So do I." With a wave and a "later Gman", Xander was gone and Giles was left alone with his books. This was not something that particularly bothered him, to be in the constant company of teens was a strain at times, especially since prior to coming to Sunnydale, his peers were fellow Watchers, who were quite a bit like him. Reserved and British. So yes, to be alone was something he found quite enjoyable. When he opened the ancient volumes, they seemed to come alive for him, telling him tales of different times, different eras. Of what could be, and what will be. The written word was always something that Giles could sink his teeth into, it was something sacred to him, something for him to worship and study. No matter how many times he would glance through these ancient texts, there was always some pearl of wisdom ready to be extracted from the dusty pages to be implanted into his brain. Of that, it was a certainty like no other. With those reverent thoughts in mind, he began to research for a possible explanation to Blake's existence. The boy should not have been conceived, yet here he was, and Giles could only wonder what significance that held.
~~~~
"
Spike and Buffy's time on the couch quickly came to an end by the awakening of a fully refreshed and recharged 15 month old. Blake looked at Spike and smiled happily. "Dada!" Then he turned his head and shouted "Mama!!"

Buffy's face softened, and it didn't escape her notice the tender look on Spike's face at their son's waking comments. "Hi sweetie." Buffy pulled herself to a sitting position as Blake scrambled off of Spike's chest and threw himself into her arms. Hugging him tight, she stood up with him. "I'm uh, going to go give him his dinner."

Spike nodded, noticing that Buffy seemed ill at ease now, and wondered what was going through her head. "I fed him some lunch earlier, before we both conked out. Dunno if I did it right, but he seemed to eat ok."
 
"Thanks." Came her distracted response as she headed into the kitchen. Spike sat up and ran his hand through his hair again before he grabbed his smokes and headed out to the porch. Dusk would be falling soon, and not a moment too soon as far as Spike was concerned. Lighting up, he pulled the smoke deep into his nonliving lungs and exhaled forcefully. He could take air in and out, but the basic body mechanics of exchanging oxygen and CO2 died when he took his last breath over a hundred years ago. It wasn't something he particularly missed, breathing. Or realized it was missing most of the time. But when he smoked and would see the smoke billow out in a rush of stagnant expirations, it would lead his mind to wondering. To his life, before he was a vampire. And that led to thoughts of his son. And Buffy.

In the kitchen, Buffy had hoisted Blake into his high chair and had fixed some fish sticks for him. While they were cooling, she fed him the chocolate soy pudding that he liked, as her thoughts also took a side trip. Spike wasn't staying in the evil little box she had built for him, and yeah ok, it was cause for some wiggins. He had saved her mom, he had taken care of Blake. And the most confusing thing, he actually seemed to care. And god help her, she could tell she was falling for him. Again. That feeling in her gut tingled every time he was near. Why was her life always so damn confusing? It would be so much easier if he could have just stayed evil, then she wouldn't be faced with this issue of trust. Because if she made the wrong decision here, lives were at stake. Her life sucked, she decided with a pout.

She looked up when Spike clomped into the kitchen. "Going to go take a shower. I'll take you to see your mum soon as the sun sets." And without waiting for a reply, he turned and headed up the stairs. Looking down at Blake, Buffy complained, "Your daddy is a complicated man."

Their trip to the hospital was delayed slightly when Buffy took in the state of Spike's car. That provided the fuel for their first argument, and there was no shortage of kindling laying around.

"Just bloody shove the stuff on the floor!"

"Spike, this is disgusting. I can't have my son riding in this."

"It's MY son too, and he won't break. It's just a bit of trash."

"A BIT of trash? The back seat is like...overflowing!" They stared each other down, Buffy with determination locked tightly in place, Spike with irritation. Finally, with a snarl, Spike threw up his arms and stomped into the house, causing Buffy to relax slightly and let out a sigh of relief. Ok, he hadn't gotten all damage bound on her, this was of the good. She didn't want to admit that she was testing him, but she wasn't giving into the sliver of fear that remained where he was concerned. Ok, more than a sliver, Buffy thought, more like half a damn pie of fear.

Spike came stomping out of the house with a black trash bag and held it out to her. Huh? Fear was forgotten as Buffy realized Spike wanted HER to do it.

"Oh NO WAY!" She yelled. "I am so not cleaning all that crap out of your car!"

Spike threw a smirk in her direction. "Language, pet. Got us a impressionable child here." Spike opened up the door to the backseat and a whirlwind of trash tumbled to the ground. Rolling his eyes, he bent down and picked it up. Buffy picked Blake up, who was staring curiously at the car.

"Car messy, Dada."

Spike glared at Buffy who was in the throes of hysterical laughter at her son's comment. He realized it was just plain irritation he felt, not the complete and total rage of the demon that had plagued him for years. His girl was lucky, his demon didn't take kindly to being laughed at. Wait, his girl? Yeah, Buffy was his girl. And suddenly with that realization, his mood lightened and a smile graced his chiseled face. It was so unexpected and breathtaking at the same time, that Buffy stopped laughing.

"Yeah, I know it is, little one." He told his son, stepping over and ruffling his hair where he sat in his mother's arms. With a wink at Buffy and a quick pat on her butt that left her blinking in shock, he turned and faced the task of making room for the car seat. The Big Bad with a car seat in his car, now there was something he never thought he'd experience.

When he crawled into the backseat of the car and began tossing garbage into the bag, he finally had to admit that ok yeah, the car was a bit of a mess. He tried to recall the last time he'd emptied the thing out, and his mind was completely blank on the matter. Judging by some of the retro wrappers he was finding, it probably been quite some time ago.

Buffy left him for a minute, telling him to keep an eye on Blake, who was spectating with interest, and she went to go retrieve something from the house. Scooting herself into the passenger seat, she took out the car lighter and plugged something in.

Almost completely having filled one huge bag, Spike took the opportunity for a small break. Sniffing, his senses were flooded with a rush of rosemary, peppermint and lavender. "What in the bloody hell did you stink up my car with?"

Buffy offered him an aghast look. "Please, the car so smelled already. "

"Not answering my question. What is that?"

"It's aromatherapy."

"It's WHAT?"

"You know, aromatherapy? This is a portable one that heats the oil, thus releasing the fragrance of the oils so you can appreciate the full affect."

"Only thing I can appreciate is that it stinks and you'll do well to get it the hell out of my car."

Buffy gasped. "I will not! That....odor of 20 years of trash was giving me a headache."

Spike just glared at her, taking in her determined and set face, then suddenly found himself laughing. He tried to remember the last time he'd really laughed like this, but couldn't. Aromatherapy. Christ. What a world she lived in.

"What are you laughing at?" Buffy asked suspiciously.

"You."

"Well stop it!" Buffy demanded.

"Are you always like this?" Spike asked, grinning at her from the back seat.

"No." Buffy announced. "Well, maybe."

"Good." Spike replied, leaving her stunned. When he leaned over the front seat and pressed a quick hard kiss against her lips, she went beyond stunned. Spike sauntered out of the car to find his son already sitting in his car seat on the grass. He smiled at Blake, and picked the car seat up and turned back to the car with his precious cargo. He noticed Buffy still in the same spot with the same astonished look on her face, and felt highly pleased with himself. Not every day he managed to shake up a slayer, after all.

With Blake laughing at being given a free ride in his car seat, Spike said "Wanna show me how to put this contraption in, Buffy?"

With a mental slap, Buffy came out of her daze and assisted Spike, finally allowing them to get on their way to the hospital. The drive over was curiously pleasant for Spike, and he even allowed Buffy to keep her smelly oils plugged in. A warm feeling was working its way through him, and he didn't even try to shrug it off, because he was finally realizing that this is what he had been searching for. This little bit of paradise, this feeling of family. He had been cold and dead inside for so long. He liked this girl, oh yes. She was annoying, argumentative, maddening, confrontational, but she was also strong, loyal, warm, brave, maternal, loving and he found himself wanting to be included in her love. Again, an internal buzz sounded, the Big Bad wanting the love of a Slayer?

Without hesitation, he beat it down. Yes, the Big Bad wanted the love of the Slayer. And of the mother of his child. Spike purposely didn't include the 'love of his mate', he had already decided to not use the claim in any way. It had already served its purpose, letting him know that nobody else had laid their hands on his girl.

His reverie was soon brought to end by the ceaseless chatter of a toddler. He quickly learned that Blake expected his answers to be answered immediately. Turning to Buffy, he asked, "Do all kids his age talk this much?"

Buffy laughed. "Nope. Our boy has an advanced vocabulary for his age."

Spike nodded, and pulled out his pack of smokes. Buffy grabbed them out of his hands and he growled at her. "No smoking around him, got it?"

Heaving an exaggerated pained sigh, Spike announced, "I am still evil, you know."

Buffy was silent for a moment before replying softly, "Spike, if you were still completely evil, we wouldn't be in this car with you."

Spike pulled into a parking space at the hospital and winked at her in response. Opening his door, he got out and rescued his son from his car seat. Settling him on his hip, he went around to Buffy's side of the car and held out his free hand to her. "Ready to go see your mum?"

Buffy looked at his hand, then at his face, studying it. Finally she smiled and slid her hand into his larger cooler one, slinging the diaper bag up on to her shoulder. Hand in hand, they walked into the hospital, causing quite a few looks to be thrown in their direction. There was something just adorable about the sight of a dangerous looking black leather clad peroxide blonde man, with his son held in his arms that drew people's attention. Spike didn't appear to be aware of it, but Buffy was and it made her smile. They really were adorable, she thought, looking over at them.

Buffy's mom had moved from the Emergency room and was now in a room on the medical/surgical floor. She was awake when they came in the door, and if she was surprised to see her daughter holding hands with the vampire who had gotten her pregnant, she didn't show it. What she did have was a welcoming smile for Spike.

"Gwanma!" Blake called out excitedly, pitching forward in his excitement to get to his grandmother's side. Spike set him on the floor, and he went over to the side of the bed and smiled up at her happily.

Buffy went over and embraced her mom, eyes beginning to tear up at the thought that she had almost lost her. "How are you, mom?"

"I'm doing ok. They won't let me get any sleep, but other than that, it could be a lot worse." With that comment, Joyce directed her attention to the vampire lurking by the door. "Spike."

He took a few steps forward, finding himself oddly discomfited. "Joyce."

Joyce reached one arm out in his direction, her eyes full of gratitude. She was still groggy, but was in full control of her mental capacities, unlike earlier. Hesitating for just a moment, Spike took the remaining steps to the side of the bed to stand next to Buffy, and took hold of her hand. "Thank you." Joyce said simply, but with heartfelt meaning.

"Didn't do much."

Nodding her head, Joyce contradicted him. "Yes, you did. And I thank you."

"You're welcome." He mumbled, casting his eyes around uncomfortably, finding himself once again plagued by unfamiliar feelings.

Luckily, Buffy changed the subject by asking, "So, when do you get to go home?"


Joyce grimaced distastefully and sighed tiredly. "I'm not sure now. The orthopedic surgeon was here and said something about possible surgery. I think I'll know more tomorrow."

"Oh God! Mom!! That's horrible!!"

Joyce looked back over at Spike and asked, "Are you going to be sticking around for a while?"

tbc...
 

Chapter 12
Joyce looked back over at Spike and asked, "Are you going to be sticking around for a while?"

Spike shot an uncomfortable look over at Buffy, not sure of the reaction he would find on her face in response to her mum's question. To his relief, she was merely regarding him with curiosity, not in the abject horror and fear he had anticipated. "Uh.. yeah, think so." He finally said, looking over at Buffy again and noted the relief that settled over her features at his words.

Joyce nodded once with satisfaction and said, "Good, I'm glad to hear that. Buffy's going to need some help, and well, I'm not sure how much help I'm going to be for a while."

Spike found himself completely gobsmacked. This was a concept that he could hardly fathom, that his company was apparently both needed and wanted. That warm feeling inside him was quickly gaining the heat of a meteor, and he knew there was a sappy grin on his face. Buffy's mum was a right decent lady, and Spike found himself glad that she was going to be ok.

Luckily Blake broke the sudden emotionally charged silence with a request to be picked up. Spike was more than happy to comply, swinging him easily into his arms with Blake threw his pudgy arms around his neck. Joyce and Buffy watched this interaction with interest, both sharing a tender smile. Spike took him over to the window and began pointing things out in the well lit up parking lot, with Blake hanging onto his every word and engaging his dad in a myriad of questions that bounced from one topic to another.

"He's good with him." Joyce announced quietly, watching them.

"Yeah, he is." Buffy replied just as softly, knowing that Spike could most likely hear every word spoken.

Joyce turned to look at her daughter and concern was etched heavily on her weary features. "He won't hurt you again, will he?"

Buffy was silent for just a moment, she had been watching Spike and had witnessed his body tensing at her mom's question.. Then in a voice barely over a whisper, she admitted, "No."

Spike turned to look at Buffy and the naked raw emotion in his eyes was such a far cry from the rude cocky vampire she thought she knew, that a tiny gasp escaped. Turning his attention to her mother, Spike announced quietly, "I won't hurt them, Joyce. You have my word."

Joyce appeared a bit startled by the revelation, and Buffy couldn't help the small giggle that escaped at her confusion. "Vampire, mom. Means all senses are enhanced, including hearing."

"Oh."

Spike brought Blake over to the bed. "Yeah, and you should see how your daughter abused my sense of smell on the way over here."

Joyce sent a smile in his direction. "Aromatherapy?"

"If that's what you want to call it."

The banter was cut off by the arrival of a nurse bearing pain medication for Joyce, and Buffy felt her first hint of jealousy when the young attractive nurse spent a bit too much time talking and looking at Spike. Buffy saw the blatant inspection of his ring finger before the lecherous eyes traveled to inspect Buffy's hand. Before she even realized she did it, Buffy had moved right next to Spike and pressed herself against his side in an obvious effort to claim ownership. To let the nurse know that this was HER guy.

A minute later, reality crashed in and Buffy realized exactly what she had done. She looked up at Spike and stiffened at the highly amused smirk on his face and was poised to move away, but he made good use of the opportunity by snaking his arm out to keep her pinned to his side. Buffy's first instinct was to struggle, and she just barely managed to quell that urge, especially since this close proximity to him was making her Slayer sense rattle like a fire alarm. But then she realized it wasn't just her slayer sense, it was that delicious feeling in the pit of her stomach again, and she finally allowed herself to relax under his tight grip.

Coolly efficient now that the line had been drawn, the nurse finished pushing the narcotic pain medication into Joyce's IV tubing and crossed the room to throw the empty syringe in the red Sharps container by the sink. In a pleasant professional voice, she asked Joyce if she needed anything else. Joyce shook her head, highly amused by her daughter's blatant possessiveness. With a flirty toss of her hair and a wink in Spike's direction, the nurse turned to leave the room.

Spike turned his head to look at Buffy just in time to catch the lethal glare she had sent in the nurse's direction as she passed through the door. Under her breath, Buffy muttered, "Geez, unprofessional much?"

Eyes twinkling, Spike teased, "oooh, the little kitten has claws."

Buffy broke away from Spike's hold, finding her capacity for thought diminished in such close proximity to his body. Assuming an innocent air, she stuck her nose in the air and informed him haughtily, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Joyce and Spike exchanged amused glances over the top of Buffy's head, which thankfully she missed. Seeing that the pain medication was starting to make Joyce sleepy, Spike announced they should probably be on their way. Buffy opened her mouth to argue, then saw her mom's drooping eyelids, and allowed Spike to be correct. Saying their goodbye's and giving her mom a kiss, they walked out the door towards the elevator.

Spike pushed the button for the 2nd floor, and Buffy looked at him like he had the IQ of a idiot. "We need the ground floor, brainiac."

Spike sent narrowed eyes in her direction, but replied in an easy tone. "Know that. Need to stop off on 2. Feeling a bit peckish."

The horror returned to Buffy's eyes as she realized what he meant. "Oh no you don't! If you think I'm going to let you kill someone while you're with me, you're so totally mistaken."

Spike sent her another look, this one Buffy was unable to interpret. 'Not gonna. GI floor, y'no? Lots of bleeders, they always keep extra blood on hand in case someone starts bleeding out."

"Oh." Buffy answered, feeling slightly placated. "Wait, you're going to steal it?"

"Well, yeah. Can't exactly buy it off of them, now can I?"

"No." Buffy admitted in a surly tone. "Fine, just go do it. We'll wait in the car."

"Don't know what this attitude is about Slayer, it's a lot easier for me just to go out and kill someone, you know. I'm doing this bagged thing for you."

The doors opened on 2, and Spike was gone like a black shadow, striding purposefully down the hall. How he thought he was going to manage walking away with blood in the middle of a crowded hospital floor, she had not a clue. But yet, she didn't doubt his pending success. And then she had to admit, he was right. It WAS easier for him just to go kill someone. Now how sad was that? Grrr...It made her head hurt. If he was going to be sticking around on any type of regular basis, she'd have to see what she could to to fix him up with a constant supply. She didn't want his diet to be an issue between them, they had enough stuff to deal with.

Buffy had barely gotten Blake buckled into his car seat before Spike threw open the driver's seat door, causing Buffy to jump in alarm. "I thought you were getting blood." She accused, allowing herself to relax from her attack stance.

He turned to look at her with an amused smirk before he pulled a few bags out of his duster pocket and threw them at her. "I did." He informed her unnecessarily.

"Ok, I so don't want to know the details." Buffy muttered, shaking her head. She handed Blake a sippy cup of juice then got herself buckled up as Spike started the car and they headed back to Buffy's house. The ride back was spent in comfortable silence, marred with periods of incessant chatter from the youngest occupant of the car. Spike didn't appear to be harboring any lingering resentment over her attitude about the blood, and Buffy found herself grateful for that. She didn't even say anything when he shifted into game face for a second to bite down into one of the bags, before shifting back and drinking the blood greedily. He kept looking over at her expecting a comment from her, but was treated with a friendly silence.

But when they got home, and Buffy walked through her front door, it hit her that she was totally alone with Spike, and that's when her mind exploded with the possibilities. No, don't let your thoughts go there, she chastised herself frantically. Look at how well that turned out last time. Pinning her eyes on the ground so she didn't have to look at him, she missed the curious look he gave her.

"So now what?" Spike asked, setting Blake down in the living room.

Buffy shot her head up, a startled look on her face. "Huh?"

Amused, but finding himself reluctant to add fuel to her obvious uneasiness, he tipped his head in Blake's direction. "The boy. Does he have some sort of night time ritual or any such rot?"

"Oh yeah. Sure thing. I mean, yes, he does. Maybe you can like, uh, change his diaper while I go get his jammies?" Buffy asked, ready to bolt from the room, becoming more and more unnerved by his commanding presence the longer she stood there.

Spike looked at her like she was daft in the head, but she was already gone, escaping the room. And him. He sighed and turned to his son. "Right, diaper." He looked around the room, then looked back at Blake and said "Wouldn't happen to know where the diapers are at, would ya?"

Without a verbal response, Blake walked over to a basket in the corner and got a diaper out and held it out to Spike who took it with a slightly horrified look on his face. Changing a diaper wasn't something he thought he'd ever be doing, that much was certain. Didn't exactly fit the criteria for being bad and evil. "Ok, now what?" He asked, hoping his son would be helpful once again.

Luck was on his side. Blake laid down on the floor and looked up at Spike expectantly. Letting go of another sigh, Spike muttered, "Right. Well, here goes nothing." he crouched down on the floor and managed to get Blake's pants off without mishap. He stared at the diaper on his son trying to figure out what the blasted thing, then realized there was some velcro numbers on the side that held the sides together. Huh, how 'bout that. Guess modern day conveniences stretched to include updated diapers.

He got the soaked diaper off, with Blake lending some assistance, and began to get a feeling of accomplishment, half the job was done. But if he'd looked at his son's face just then, he would have taken note of the lips curving up into a mischievous smirk that was almost identical to Spike's own.

Spike was just reaching for the clean diaper when he heard Buffy yell from the top of the stairs. "Oh, if you're changing his diaper, be careful." Before Spike could ask what she meant, a stream of urine shot out, coating the arm of Spike's leather duster and spraying the floor. "Bloody HELL!" He yelled, his mind frozen on how to handle this situation. He looked at his son and finally noticed the smirk. "Oh you, you did that on purpose, dinnit ya?"

Peals of giggles were his answer, and Spike just shook his head in disbelief, then called, "Hey Buffy, get that cute bum down here. Your boy just peed everywhere."

Buffy came into the room and rolled her eyes at the horrified look on Spike's face. "I told you to be careful!"

"He peed on me."

"Well, duh." Buffy threw him the box of wipes, and with a ferocious scowl sent in her direction, Spike grabbed a few and cleaned up the mess his son had made. He shrugged out of his duster and wiped it carefully off.

Blake still had a wide pleased smile on his face, and Spike growled, "It's not funny." The boy just continued to smile, and Spike felt his resolve weaken. "Ok fine, maybe it is a bloody good trick, but save it for someone who's not your da, got it?" Spike managed to get the diaper on, albeit a little crooked, but he felt satisfied with himself for his accomplishment nonetheless. Buffy handed him the pajamas she had retrieved from his room, and Spike managed to get those on as well. Spike leaned back to admire his success, feeling a tad proud of himself.

The next hour was spent going through Blake's usual bedtime ritual, and Buffy didn't allow herself feel apprehensive, this was her time with Blake and she didn't let anything interfere. But as soon as she kissed Blake goodnight, and they shut his bedroom door, her nerves slammed right back into her.

With Buffy's tightly coiled emotions written clearly across her face, Spike found himself making an attempt to put her at ease. "Fancy a bit of telly, pet?"

Without looking at him, Buffy nodded and headed down the stairs. Spike found her huddled on the couch, remote in hand, her gaze intent on the television screen before her. He sat down next to her, and his jaw tightened when he saw her stiffen at his close proximity. She still wouldn't look at him, keeping her attention focused on the corny sitcom on TV. He could tell by her unfocused eyes that she wasn't really watching it, just fixing her stare on it to avoid having to look at him.

"What's wrong?" He found himself asking in exasperation.

Buffy flinched at his tone, pressing herself further away from him. "Nothing."

Spike grabbed the remote from her hand and flicked the TV off. "Dammit, would you talk to me?"

Buffy took a deep calming breath, then look over at him. She expected the anger she found brewing on his face, but it was the confusion mixed in with it that had her relaxing slightly. "I'm sorry." She mumbled, wrapping her arms around her tighter.

"Did I do something?"

Buffy started to shake her head no, then sighed and decided to go for the truth. "I'm probably being stupid, but... being alone with you like this kinda brings back some not so good memories for me."

Spike let his head fall back against the back of the couch, and looked up at the ceiling. Silence filled the room for several uncomfortable minutes before Spike finally said, "I'm sorry. I think I said that before, but this time I actually mean it. All I can say is that will never happen again."

"What won't?"

"Me trying to hurt you."

The obvious sincerity in his voice brought Buffy's head up sharply to look into his eyes. When he reached over and took her hand, she didn't pull away, just kept her eyes locked on the intense stormy eyes that seemed to be peering into her soul. "What can I do to show you I mean it?" he asked gently, rubbing the roughened pad of his thumb over the top of her hand.

Buffy shocked herself as much as she did Spike by closing the distance between them and pressing her lips to his. Again, it was like someone else had taken possession of her body, making her do the one thing that her entire being craved. It took him less than a second to respond, as he let his mouth move against hers in a dance that was both completely foreign to him yet hauntingly familiar. He reached over and hauled her into his lap, while his lips increased the pressure, his tongue thrusting into her mouth in a frantic sweep. Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and rose up so she was straddling his hips where he sat on the couch. His hands were everywhere at once, and Buffy could feel a ripple of desire shoot through her at his intimate touch.

There wasn't a flicker of doubt that she shouldn't be doing this with him, not like there should have been, and Buffy gave it barely a moment's notice that there was no fear, only desire. And strangely, a fragile trust that he would be a monster of his word, he would not hurt her again. She drew back slightly and ripped her t-shirt off, baring her bra clad torso to his hungry eyes. Reaching behind her, she unsnapped her bra and let it slip slowly from her shoulders before he grabbed it in a fit of impatience and threw it on the floor.

"So fucking beautiful." He murmured, burying his face in the valley between her breasts before he turned his head and captured one rosy nipple in his mouth, teasing it with his tongue. Buffy gasped at the sensation, it felt like the was a connection between her sensitive nipples directly to that throbbing place between her legs that begged for his attention. Without even realizing it, Buffy found herself grinding her mound against the hard protrusion that lay beneath Spike's jeans, unable to stand the sweet ache.

She was glad she had worn a skirt when Spike's skilled hands deftly lifted up the hem and shoved the crotch of her panties out of the way, allowing his fingers to rub against her engorged nub. Buffy reached down and undid the buckle on his jeans, frantic for another glimpse of him. This shouldn't be happening like this, she thought fleetingly as she struggled with the buttons. But she was helpless to stop, she wanted him. And that was the part that had tormented her the most during the last two years, knowing that even after what he had done, what he was, she knew she still desired him, and the self disgust over that knowledge had been the hardest cross that she had to bear. But now, she was free to admit it to herself. Vampire or not, she wanted him inside her again.

Breaking her mouth away from his, she muttered against his jaw, "Can't get the buttons undone."

Not stilling the worship his hands were bestowing upon her body, he managed to ask "You sure 'bout this, luv?
Buffy nodded emphatically, leaning in to kiss that succulent mouth again as Spike worked his buttons free with one hand, his erection now free from its prior restrictive confine, curving up in a hard arc towards his abdomen. Buffy dragged his shirt over his head, frantic in her need to touch as much of his cool firm flesh as possible, her hands sliding over rock hard muscles and pale satiny skin, before trailing downward to grab his engorged shaft in her hand. Spike moaned at her touch, closing his eyes and tipping his head back against the cushion behind. Unable to wait, Buffy shifted herself and poised herself over his thick member before slowly sinking down. A bit of feminine satisfaction came when Spike's eyes flew open, filled with wonderment and awe at the intense feeling of being enveloped in her hot moist sheath, inch by agonizing inch.

"Oh god, baby." He moaned, clutching at her hips to keep her still when she had taken him inside her to the hilt, afraid he would come right then. Looking up in to her face, he asked "Does this hurt?"

Buffy shook her head no, smiling down at him as she trailed her index finger softly down the side of his face, tracing his chiseled jaw. She began to move against him, and he couldn't help but thrust up into her each time, watching her face carefully for any sign of pain. He was determined to do right by her this time, and actually now felt sick at the thought that he had hurt her before. Of course he had hopes that the evening would wind up with them shagging, but he didn't really think things would progress this far, and he wasn't about to push her. She shocked him though by initiating this, and now it was hitting home yet again just how special this girl was.

Using his hands on her hips as guidance, he showed her the best way to move against him, liking that he was the one who got to introduce her to these things. He could see things were building up for her by the enthralled look on her face, and took one now unneeded hand off of her shapely hip and pressed his thumb against her sensitive clit. His own thrusts were becoming more demanding, and he could feel things beginning to tighten up, but he wanted her to get off first. With a loud cry, Buffy's orgasm broke over her, sending delicious shivers through every cell in her body, causing all of her muscles to lock up simultaneously before she collapsed into a boneless heap against Spike's bare chest.

That extra squeeze coupled with seeing Buffy's face as she got off was what Spike needed to send him into his own orgasm. With a snarl, he clutched her tight while he spurted his seed into her core, his body convulsing with each ejaculation, before he joined Buffy as a boneless heap.

"Fuck, that was amazing." Spike panted, holding her tight in a desperate attempt to keep physical contact with her.

Buffy groaned, "Oh god, my legs are totally asleep." Spike looked up at her, then after pressing a quick kiss to her lips, hauled her up and stretched out on the couch, placing her to sprawl on top of him. "Oh my god, I so cannot believe we just had sex on my mother's couch."

"Well, we'll just have to keep that little tidbit to ourselves then, won't we?" Spike replied teasingly, stroking the back of her head gently. He had this sudden fear that she was going to regret what they had just done, and was steeling his emotions against it.

"Yeah, I guess so." Buffy replied tiredly, pressing her cheek against his chest.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Buffy lifted her head up and stared at him. "What? No!"

She could see the relief enter his intense blue eyes and she leaned up to kiss him gently then whispered in his ear, "Wanna go play up in my room?"

His eyes darkened with desire, and with a high pitched squeak, she found herself scooped up in his arms and on her way up the stairs. She looked down at herself, shirt off, skirt all hiked up and grimaced. Then she looked down and saw that Spike's pants were still on, and she began to giggle. With a playful growl, he threw her on her bed, kicked off the offending jeans and flung himself at her. This time, he wanted to do things slowly, show Buffy exactly how talented he was, but again, she was an impatient wench and spoiled his plans.

Hours later, Buffy found herself sore in all the right places, a languid feeling having taken up residence in her body, and she couldn't move even if she wanted to. It had been a night of sharing and learning, about learning how to trust and getting past the fact that she was the Slayer and he was a vampire. It ceased to matter anymore. Sometime during the night, she realized Spike was having trouble keeping his demon back, and told him to let it go. When he questioned her about her motives, she told him quite simply that she had to know that she was safe from his demon also. He merely nodded then allowed his face to change instead of fighting to keep it back, and he was humbled by Buffy's willingness to trust him that much. After what his demon had done to her, she was still willing to take a chance. As soon as his demon came to the forefront, Spike realized that there was no problem here, his demon was just as taken by this girl as he was. He made no attempt to bite her, although the urge to do just that was almost overpowering, and after they had both come down from mind numbing orgasms, Buffy had gently traced the distorted ridges of his forehead, pressing gentle kisses along his cheek and said a quiet "Thank you." Spike didn't reply, just gave her a heart felt smile that spoke volumes
It was near dawn when they finally collapsed into each other's arms, utterly exhausted by a full night of lovemaking. Buffy fell quickly into an utterly exhausted sleep, tucked in the naked embrace of the demon she had let worship her all night. Spike watched her drift off, feeling oddly proud of himself at the contented smile on her face, and settled himself against the pillows to get some much deserved rest.
``````

Xander and Willow walked through the library doors after second period and found Giles deeply engrossed in research, only looking up when Xander cleared his throat in gross exaggeration.

"Yes?" Giles asked a bit impatiently.

"Have you talked to Buffy?" Xander asked.

All impatience fled to be replaced by concern. "No, she hasn't been by yet this morning. Why?"

"Uh, she wasn't in class this morning." Willow informed him.

Giles eyebrows knitted together as he pondered this information. "Well, perhaps we should give her a call." He went through the library cage and picked up the phone, dialing Buffy's number. He was visibly upset when he rejoined the two teens in the main part of the library. "There appears to be no answer."

"And why am i thinking that I'm going to get to say I Told You So?" Xander announced unhelpfully.

"I believe I am going to go over to her house, she may be in need of assistance."

"I'm going with you." Xander informed him forcefully, and Giles decided not to argue the matter. Willow returned to class, having a major chemistry test the next period. Within moments, Giles closed up the library once again during school hours, and he and Xander were on their way to Buffy's house.

Giles parked next to Spike's black monstrosity in the driveway, and he felt somewhat reassured that the vampire at least still appeared to be in Sunnydale. However, the state in which they might find Buffy and Blake was what was truly cause for concern. Walking up the front steps, Giles rang the doorbell and his unease grew when there was no answer. Xander tried the door and found it unlocked, slowly pushing it open as he called Buffy's name.

They walked into the front room and looked around. Nothing seemed too out of place, Giles frowned when he noticed the blankets Spike had previously used on the chair. They both managed to miss the few choice clothing articles strewn about before they headed up the stairs. Giles peeked into Blake's room, sure he was going to find a bloodbath there, but was greeted by a sleeping toddler sucking his thumb. He and Xander continued down the hall to the partially opened door to Buffy's room with great trepidation, and the sight that was waiting for them in was more horrifying than Giles could possibly have imagined.

His Slayer was sprawled naked on top of equally naked vampire, their bare limbs entwined, her head pillowed on his silent chest with his arms wrapped around her protectively. A slight effort had been made to cover up, but the sheet had gotten as far as the curve where her ass met her thigh, and did nothing to hide this stark brutal reality. Both of them were deeply asleep, Spike's chin resting on top of Buffy's head.

"Holy crap." Xander uttered in a shocked voice.

That quietly uttered expletive served to do what a phone call, the doorbell and calling her name refused to do, it woke Spike up. His sleepy eyes opened and immediately hardened when he caught sight of them in the door way. "Stop your bloody staring." He ordered in a dangerous voice. Buffy shifted in her sleep, trying to burrow herself deeper against him and sighed in contentment.

Both Giles and Xander found themselves helpless to do anything but stare, causing Spike to growl, "Get your sodding eyeball off of her, do you understand?" That finally served to wake Buffy up and she lifted her head up from its comfortable pillow to peer into his face, confusion overriding her weariness. But when she saw his penetrating glare directed over her head towards the doorway, she turned to see what had captured his interest so intensely.

"Oh GOD!!! " She cried, scrambling to draw the sheet over her to hide her nakedness from their horrified and probing eyes. Her cheeks flushed red with mortification, her embarrassment palpable.

"Buffy.....?" Xander said, unable to finish, and unable to tear his eyes away either.

"I told you to stop bloody looking at her!" Spike snarled, but his movements were gentle when he moved Buffy off him and to the side. "Get out, now."

Stunned beyond all comprehension, Giles tried to get his brain to jump start, but he couldn't get his body to obey Spike's commands. "Spike, I.."

Giles and Xander suddenly found a vampire in full game face charging towards them, rage clearly present on his demonic features. "I told you sods to stop fucking looking at her!" Spike roared with a savage snarl.

With no time to scramble for the stakes they had brought, Giles and Xander did the only thing possible for their self preservation that they could. They beat a hasty retreat, their hearts pounding with fear and anticipation. But instead of the savage attack they were expecting, they found themselves with the door to Buffy's bedroom slammed in their faces. Looking at one another, relief hit them at the same time and they both slumped against the wall.

"Well, I hope they used birth control this time." Xander announced snidely, finding himself feeling out of sorts now that the fear and shock had worked their way out of his system.

"Oh good lord."
tbc...

Yes, I am stopping it here, but hey extra long chapter, so yeah me! And nice pretty reviews WILL get me working on the next chapter that much sooner. *hint hint* :) I want to thank Maidenro for passing along the diaper changing idea, see, told ya I was going to use it!! Thanks for all the pretty reviews I've already gotten, they serve to feed my addiction.

 

Chapter 13

Inside the room, Spike turned to face Buffy, his features no longer distorted or demonic but smooth and handsome. "Sorry 'bout that, luv."

Buffy had been lost in a virtual daze of mortification of truly gargantuan proportions, and her head jerked up at the sound of his voice, her eyes blinking rapidly to bring him into focus. Spike's face was an open book to her at that moment. She clearly saw his concern, his hesitation, the barely suppressed anger coursing through him. But what leapt out the most to her was the utter fear in his eyes, fear of her reaction.... To him, to what they had done together, and her heart opened to him just a bit more. She found her lips curving up into an amused smile as she regarded the tense vampire in front of her.

"Well, bet that's not something they're going to forget seeing anytime soon."

She saw saw his whole body relax, the tension pouring out in a torrential flood when he realized by her light hearted comment that she wasn't regretting what had been shared between them, and her smile widened. She dropped the sheet and got up on her knees and held her arms out to him. "Want to try this morning thing over again?"

His smile seemed to light up the darkened room and he reached her side in two rapid strides. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a soft meaningful kiss, loving the feel of his capable hands stroking their way over her body. She was the first to draw back, commenting, "Ah yes, now that is MUCH better."

"Was afraid you'd be all panicky, having your Watcher and your mate seeing us like that." Spike admitted to her quietly

"Have to admit, I was all majorally panicky girl at first. But now? Not so much."

``````

Outside the room, Giles and Xander could hear muffled words being spoken. They didn't want to admit to eavesdropping, but Giles justified it by telling himself that he was merely making sure his Slayer was all right. After all, she was behind a closed door with a dangerous vampire who last seen, had charged them in full game face. It was then that the reality of what they had witnessed finally hit home, and Giles at least realized that this would have to be dealt with in a truly delicate manner. Spike had been protecting Buffy from them. Good lord, he thought, rubbing his temple where a pounding was starting up with all the subtly of a full symphony.

The next moment had Xander checking the crotch of his pants for accidental leakage when the door to the bedroom was suddenly thrown open and Spike came striding out, wearing only a pair of jeans, his chest and feet bare. He gave Giles and Xander a withering glare and announced coldly, "The least you two sods could have done was gotten the boy up."

They watched Spike walk down the hallway, and it was then they realized that Blake was yelling in his crib. Giles surmised that the door slamming probably was responsible for waking him up, and he moved to follow Spike down the stairs when he emerged from Blake's room carrying the boy easily in his arms, with Blake laughing and hugging him tight. Spike pointedly ignored the Watcher's presence as he grabbed a diaper out of the basket and quickly changed Blake's diaper, finding himself proficient at the task after just the one time. Xander came downstairs just at the tail end and gaped at the sight.

"William the Bloody changes diapers? Well, there's something you don't see every day." Xander wisecracked, unable to keep his mouth shut. Giles sent him a pained look, and after Spike set Blake back on his feet and turned the telly on for him, he stalked slowly in Xander's direction. The smell of fear coming from Buffy's idiot friend was invigorating, and he allowed a dangerous look to take over his face. Xander gulped and backed away, with Spike following his movements with lethal precision. When he had Xander backed up against a wall, he told the boy fiercely, "You shut your gob, boy."

Xander's fear had now escalated to pure terror, and he called out, "Giles, little help here."

Giles was just reaching for the stake in his back pocket when Spike sent a hard look in his direction, stilling his movements. "Won't be needing that, Watcher. Just be having us a bit of a talk, is all." He took a step back from Xander, and crossed his arms across his chest. "Now then, this is the way it's going to be. Neither one of you is going to say one bad word to Buffy about what you saw this morning. Either one of you gits makes her feel ashamed of what she did with me, you'll be finding one very pissed off vampire after you. Understood?"

Giles did not hesitate to agree, causing Xander to look at him in shock. "What? Are you crazy? How do we know he didn't have her in that thrall thing so he could have his evil way with her?"

"She wasn't in a thrall, Xander." Giles informed him.

"Oh? And how do you know this, oh Mr. Book Man?"

Giles ripped his glasses off and allowed his calm composure to slip a little. "Because Xander, if she was under a thrall, she wouldn't have been embarrassed that we saw her, that's how I know this."

"Oh."

"You guys talking about me?" A voice from the top of the stairs said, causing all four males present in the room to look up in that direction.

"Mama!" Blake squealed, tearing himself away from the tv set to go greet her. Buffy walked down the stairs, now properly attired in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, her previous sex tousled hair now tied back in a ponytail at the nape of her neck. She saw Giles immediately search her neck for any evidence of bite marks, and she rose an eyebrow in his direction. Blake wrapped himself around her legs, and Buffy picked him up and kissed him good morning. She turned to her best friend and her Watcher and asked if they wanted any coffee. Without waiting for a response, she winked at Spike and carried Blake into the kitchen. Spike eagerly followed, watching the swing of her ass as she walked, barely resisting the urge to grab it and shag her until she came screaming his name over and over.

Once in the kitchen, Spike took Blake from Buffy and put him in his highchair while Buffy made a pot of coffee. While it was brewing, she handed Spike a box of cereal to start feeding Blake, and he attended to that while Buffy got the coffee ready. Xander and Giles just watched, it not escaping their notice the way they were interacting with each other now, the easy familiarity that was now present.

When Buffy finally turned to them, a mug of coffee in hand, Giles took that as his cue. "Buffy, I apologize for the way we barged in here."

"Yeah, me too, Giles."

"However in our defense, we came over here because we were concerned. Willow and Xander came and told me that you had missed the first couple periods of school, and in light of recent circumstances, well, I felt it would be remiss of me if I did not investigate."

"Ever hear of an invention called the telephone?" Buffy asked.

"I did try to ring you, there was no answer. And when we got here, there was no answer to the doorbell. So, we decided it warranted further investigation." Giles continued, ignoring Spike's snort.

"Yeah, and you got yourself an eyeful, dinnit ya?"

"Yes, well...." Giles muttered, his discomfiture becoming increasingly obvious.

Spike noticed Xander's continual glare and finally gave into his irritation. "You got something you want to say, you ponce?"

Xander's hand went to his back pocket and his grip tightened around the stake he was keeping handy. He met Spike's irritated look with one of defiance. "Yeah, guess I do. I don't trust you. And I don't particularly like you either. I don't like seeing you around Buffy or Blake, I think you're a whole lot of bad news."

Xander tensed up preparing to have a enraged vampire charging him once more, but Spike managed to surprise him again. The vampire laughed, and cast an amused look towards Buffy. "Hey, I'm bad news, baby." He informed her smugly.

Buffy gave a indelicate snort and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, tell me something I don't know, Spike."

Spike gave her a wicked grin, then turned his attention back to Xander. The amusement left his eyes and his face hardened as he regarded the teen. "Well I'm thinkin I don't particularly care what you think of me, it's what Buffy thinks that I'm more concerned about."

"Oh really? Like you can't manipulate her feelings to suit your diabolical fiendish plans?"

A hint of amber was now clearly visible in Spike's gaze, which was hard and cold. "I don't have any diabolical fiendish plans at the moment, unless you count getting to know my son."

Xander threw his hands up helplessly and turned to Giles. "See? I told you we shouldn't haven't left Buffy alone with him. One night, that's all it took. One night and he managed to seduce her and have his evil way with her."

Buffy rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Xander knock it off, ok? "

"Buffy, I'm just trying to watch out for you, ok? You're too close to this, you can't see what he's doing..."

"XANDER! I said stop! Besides, there was no seducing involved here, I jumped HIM, ok?" At the shocked glances of her Watcher and friend, Buffy turned her mortified face towards Spike's smirking one and said, "Did I just say that out loud?"

"Yeah, you did, luv."

"Oops."

Xander opened his mouth to rebuke her statement, but Giles intervened. "Xander, do shut up, won't you? Buffy, we'll be going now. Will you be in school later today?" Buffy shook her head, and Xander opened his mouth to argue, but at Buffy's lethal glare, he wisely shut up.

"No, I'm going to go see my mom later." She explained, feeling a tinge of guilt that she hadn't called to check up on her yet.

Giles nodded, and with a nod to Buffy and Spike, and a wave to Blake, the Watcher dragged a complaining Xander out of the house, and Spike and Buffy found themselves alone.

"Don't care much for your mate." Spike announced.

Buffy laughed, crossing the room to sink down on his lap. "I think the feeling is more than mutual."

Spike snaked one arm around her middle, the other still engaged in feeding their son breakfast, and this cozy domestic feeling should have had him flying out of town, tires screeching. But it just made him want more of it. The persisting restlessness he'd had was all but a dim memory now.

They spent the morning with their son, watching TV with him, cuddling on the couch, subtly learning how to be a family. And Spike was learning how to be a father, which Buffy noted was a role he seemed to have no problem stepping into . Buffy had called her mom and had been informed that they would be doing surgery on her ankle later that afternoon, and Buffy told her she would be there when her mom went into the operating room. She immediately felt ashamed of herself when the first thing she thought of at hearing of the impending surgery, was that it gave them one more night alone.

At nap time, they all fell asleep on the couch again, Blake sprawled on Spike's chest and Buffy cuddled up next to them. The feeling of closeness was growing stronger, and Buffy was having a hard time remembering that she had feared this man. She knew she and Spike still had quite a bit of talking to do, and felt a tinge of apprehension about it. But for now, she was just basking in the delicious sensation of being in his arms.

That afternoon, Buffy learned how vampires got around during daylight hours, and she had to admire Spike for his ingenuity. Of course the paint blackened windows on the car were wicked conspicuous, but they did allow Spike to accompany them to the hospital. This time there was no hesitation when he offered his hand after they had parked in the underground parking structure, Buffy grabbed it without thought.

When they stepped into Joyce's room, Buffy's mom immediately noticed the change in their demeanor. There was an acceptance present between the two that had not been present before, an easy familiarity in the way they regarded each other and their son. To her surprise, Joyce found herself glad that things were apparently working out between them. It had taken her aback learning the truth about Blake's paternity, but Spike was proving to be somewhat of an enigma. She would have to ask her daughter's Watcher if this was typical behavior for vampires, but she was under the impression that it wasn't. No, having a vampire in her daughter's life was certainly not one of her first choices, or even one of the last ones, but he WAS Blake's father, and Joyce herself was a bit of a old fashioned romantic. As long as she could be sure this vampire wouldn't hurt them, she would support whatever decisions they made.

This self revelation had Joyce entering the operating room with a much lighter heart, her unease about this situation fading as well as the helplessness she had been experiencing that she was stuck in a hospital bed while her daughter might potentially be needing her. Now there was someone else there for Buffy, and for that, Joyce was grateful.

The next week seemed to pass by in a blur. Joyce's surgery was successful, and she was discharged home under the care of her daughter. Her helplessness persisted when she found it cumbersome and painful to the almost fatal laceration on her inner arm to get herself around on the rented crutches. She was unable to cook, unable to care for Blake, and all around felt generally useless. She was continually amazed at how Spike had picked up the slack in the Summers household, taking care of Blake while Buffy was at school even though Joyce knew those were his typical hours of sleep. He even helped with meals and household chores, and every time Joyce would express her gratitude, it always managed to infuriate the vampire. Joyce soon realized he was embarrassed, and stopped thanking him, and he seemed much happier that way.

After the fifth night she had been home, after watching him make a big production of making up his bed on the couch and knowing full well he wouldn't be using it, she told him to just go ahead and sleep in Buffy's room. He had looked at her in shock, then she watched as a wide grin overtook his face, and he quietly thanked her than sauntered up the stairs, whistling.

When Buffy came home from patrol that night, she saw her mom sitting in front of the TV, then looked around for Spike. " Where's Spike?"

Her mom gave her a pointed look and announced, "I'm sure he's waiting for you in your bed."

Buffy's face turned crimson, and she looked at her mom in horror. "Huh?"

"Well, I figured since he snuck up there every night anyway, it'd be nice to be able to watch tv down here for once. Since he wasn't really sleeping on the couch anyway."

"Oh GOD!" Buffy wailed, sinking down on the couch.

"What, you don't want him up there?"

Buffy couldn't help but smirk. "Well, yeah, I do. Just kinda embarrassing being busted on it, you know?"

"Well, I can't say as I'm entirely happy with it, but I'd rather we have honesty from now on. Ok?"

Buffy nodded, and stood up to give her mom a well deserved hug. "Thanks, mom."

"You're welcome. Every time I try to thank your vampire for his help around here, he gets all bent out of shape."

Buffy smiled. "Yeah, I think the Big Bad gets embarrassed about being domesticated."

"That's what I figured." Joyce laughed.

Bidding her mom a good night, Buffy ran up the stairs and just as her mom said, found Spike reading in her bed. "Well, well, well, this is a nice surprise to come home to." Buffy announced wickedly as she walked in and closed the door.

"Yeah, your mum shocked the hell out of me, all right." Spike replied, watching her as she got undressed and changed into a tshirt and gym shorts in lieu of pajamas. She slid into bed beside him and was immediately engulfed in a pair of strong arms. "Think I like this."

Buffy sighed contentedly. "Yeah, me too."

Joyce turned the volume up on the TV to ignore the sounds that soon were heard coming from her daughter's bedroom, mentally berating herself for allowing this to happen under her own roof. But so far Spike had not been a deterrent in Buffy's life, had only been helpful, and Joyce was afraid of losing her only child if she tried to keep them from each other. So, for that she would suffer, and pretend she didn't hear the bed slamming against the wall upstairs.

Buffy's relationship with her friends had suffered since Spike had made his unexpected appearance, and both Willow and Xander found themselves missing their friend. He loomed like a shadow over their heads, and Xander usually was unable to keep his mouth shut around Buffy, causing the wedge in their friendship to become like the Grand Canyon. Willow was cautiously optimistic about him, she could see he made Buffy happy. But she found it hard to forget what Spike was, and also what Buffy had told them that day she found out she was pregnant. So she kept herself in cool judgment of him, but managed to be supportive. At school, she managed to be the same ole Buffy, albeit a little happier now. But where before she would spend time with them after school, now she would fly out of the library as soon as Giles dismissed her after training, never inviting them over to her house anymore. And the more times she did it, the more Willow found her feelings being hurt.

Finally, after two weeks of the same routine, Willow had her Resolve Face firmly in place, and when Buffy turned to leave the library tossing a "Later Wills, later Xander" casually over her shoulder, Willow blocked her exit.

Willow's face did not break at the sight of Buffy's confusion, she just pointed at the table and told Buffy to sit down. Sending her friend an odd look, Buffy moved to comply.

"So...what's up, Wills?" Buffy asked.

Willow sat down opposite her, with Xander next to her. Giles, sensing trouble pending, beat a hasty retreat to his office to get out of the crossfire.

"We miss you, Buffy." Willow said simply.

Buffy looked at her aghast. "Willow, you see me everyday!"

"Yeah, but not like we used to."

Buffy fell silent at that, and realized she had been kinda disappearing girl lately. "Guys, I'm sorry, things have just been way hectic with my mom getting hurt and the slayage, and everything."

"And Spike." Xander added.

Buffy nodded. "Yes, and Spike."

"So, can we all go out and do something tonight?" Willow asked, her eyes pleading. "Oz's band is playing at the Bronze tonight."

Buffy was silent for a moment, biting her lip, then she looked up and saw the hopeful looks on her friends faces and found herself agreeing. The happy look on Willow's face made Buffy realize she'd done the right thing, and she just hoped her mom would be able to watch Blake. It wasn't that she was trying to keep Spike from her friends, it was just that the time they got to spend alone together with their son was special, especially now that her mom had gone back to work. Spike watched him during the day, and Buffy usually got home in time to get in on the napping action with her two favorite guys.

But tonight she'd make it up to Willow and Xander. Especially Willow, since Buffy was still a bit wigged at Xander having seen her naked, and his snide comments didn't help things either.

Feeling better about things, she headed home to her guys to tell Spike the news that they were going out tonight. She was well aware that Willow hadn't extended the invitation to Spike, but Buffy felt no qualms about bringing him. Willow had hardly gotten to know him at all, and well, that just had to change.

As it turned out though, Spike didn't want to go. He told Buffy he didn't fancy spending the evening with Xander and a bunch of other gits at a club, but when Buffy saw her mom's haggard looking appearance, she guessed the real reason for it. He wanted to stay home to take care of his son, and Buffy was oddly touched by this. He was really a sensitive guy, even though he snarled and growled if she even hinted that she was on to him. But he was, and he showed it in a ton of little ways.

So Buffy found herself getting for the Bronze that night with a profound sense of nostalgia. She could see Blake in the mirror behind her as she pinned up her hair, but this time, when she turned around, she saw what the mirror refused to reflect, a vampire who was quickly filling her heart and giving her a sense of peace. Buffy strutted across the room towards him, asking, "Sure you don't want to go?"

Spike forced himself to look into her eyes, she looked so bloody amazing that he was having trouble concentrating. Did he want to go? Bloody hell, that was an understatement. He didn't want to let her go out without him, and he found his resolve weakening. To be able to dance with her, just the two of them.... Spike shook his head to clear the lewd thoughts parading through it, and told her regretfully, "Your mum isn't up to watching our little boy tonight. S'not fair to ask her."

Buffy tipped her head to the side to regard him, her eyes searching his powerful blue ones. Sometimes she could see right through him, and this was one of those times. He was trying to make up for not being there the last two years, that was his primary motive for not coming with her tonight. Her mom could have watched Blake tonight, but it would have been a bit rough on her, and Spike didn't want to put her through that. Wow, didn't know vampires could feel such guilt, she thought. He really was turning into quite a nice surprise, never did she think there would be such...depths to him.

"What are you smilin' at?" Spike asked, as he grabbed her hips and drew her close.

"You. You're kinda cute, you know that?"

He gave her that look again, that threatening 'don't call me cute' look but she could always tell he was flattered by it. She leaned down and kissed him fast and hard, then backed out of his hold. "See ya later!" And with a saucy wink, and a kiss for Blake, she was bounding down the stairs and out the door. Without him. And that thought made his gut clench.

With a heavy sigh, he turned to his son and slung him in his arms. "So, let's go see what your grandmum is up to, shall we?"

TBC....

This next part coming up was another suggestion from Maidenro. Ok girl, from now on? Keep your bloody suggestions to yourself, dammit!!! Oh why, you ask? Well, because they make me keep writing this fic and ignoring my other WIP's that are screaming for some attention! Just kidding, thanks for giving me direction, cos god knows I need it!

And thank you soo much everyone for all the pretty reviews!!!

This chapter contains some threats of non consensual sex

Chapter 14

Buffy entered the Bronze with the subtle feeling of apprehension, like something vitally important was missing, but she worked hard to shrug it off so that she could offer a happy front to her friends. Because she did know what they had accused her of, she had been the major Miss. Avoido Girl lately, and she knew it. She quickly caught sight of Willow waving her down from their "usual" table. The Bronze was crowded, as it usually was on a weekend night, and the influx of people just added to her unease.

Willow got up and hugged her friend, and a flood of guilt went through Buffy at the obvious excitement her being here was causing her friend. And she realized in one big swoop just how much she had really missed Willow, and she returned the hug with a genuine smile on her face. Xander stood up to offer his own hug, and the hug she offered him was a pale mockery of the one she had just given Willow, but found herself happy to see him also. At least away from school and what that usually represented. She suddenly realized in a moment of blinding clarity as she stood looking into their excited faces how much both of them really had been there for her the last few years. They'd dealt with her slayer stuff without blinking an eye, then there had been Blake. She hadn't really given much thought to how weird that must have been for them, suddenly having a best friend with a baby, but they'd been nothing but supportive. Buffy found herself desperately wanting that easy friendship back.

They all sat down and Xander went to go get drinks. Buffy turned to Willow and said , "Willow, thank you for making me come tonight. I'm really sorry I've been all avoidy and everything."

Willow smiled happily. "No problem, Buffy! How come Spike didn't come?"

Buffy looked surprised. "You were expecting him to come?"

"Hello, he's just, uh, I don't know, your boyfriend now, isn't he?"

Buffy snorted at that comment. "Yeah, I guess you could call him that."

"So how come he didn't come?" Willow asked, then a paranoid look came over her face. "It's me, isn't it? He doesn't like me, that why, isn't it?"

Buffy shook her head. "No, Wills, nothing like that. He's watching Blake tonight."

"But I thought your mom was home now?" Willow asked, confused.

"Yeah, she is home now. But Spike noticed that she looked tired, so he stayed home to watch him."

Willow looked pensive. "Oh. Well, that was nice of him."

Buffy gave her friend a wry smile. "Yeah, he's like that a lot."

"So, uh.. you two are good?"

A small grin stole over Buffy's face. "Oh, we're WAY good, Wills."

"Good. I'm glad. Cos I was you know, kind of worrying, with him being a vampire and all. I read some of Giles books, the Spike on those pages doesn't seem like the Spike who's been taking care of Blake and stuff."

"Yeah, I get that. I think he's even shocking himself these days. But I'm trusting him more and more. I mean, he hasn't even bitten me again."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Willow joked.

Buffy chose not to reply rather than risk shocking her friend, admitting to her that sometimes she wanted him to do it, to mark her again, to feel that connection between them again. But she kept her mouth shut, barely keeping the secretive smile from playing across her face.

Xander returned with their beverages, and conversation started a bit on the stilted side, but gradually progressed to their usual banter and friendliness. Buffy still feel like something was missing, but she found herself having a good time with her friends.

Oz's band finally started up, halting the ability to carry on a normal conversation due to extreme volume issues. Willow and Buffy hit the dance floor again leaving Xander to watch the table and drinks, and Buffy's sense of deja vu grew stronger, thinking back to the night Spike came back into her life. Willow must have sensed her thoughts because she commented loudly in her ear, "Seems kinda weird how the last time you were here turned out, huh?"

"Oh my god, I was JUST thinking that. We're talking way weird."

Buffy enjoyed watching Willow make googly eyes at Oz up on stage, they were really a cute couple. She found her thoughts wandering to ideas of double dates, then snorted. Please. William the Bloody going on a double date with a bunch of high school kids? But then realized that it wasn't as crazy as it sounded, Spike really seemed to be trying to integrate himself into her life, so maybe he would be receptive. Maybe Buffy had been a bit selfish, keeping him away from the part of her life that included her friends, her Watcher, training. She made a sudden decision to feel him out and see if he wanted to be included in that part of her life.

Buffy was so caught up in the music and her thoughts that she didn't see the Scott, a jock from her high school slide up next to her. Her slayer sense would have screamed at his close proximity, but his being human kept him off of her radar, but still Buffy was cursing her sense of personal space for not alerting her that he was so close. He had the reputation for thinking himself God's gift and Buffy just tended to ignore him. At her old school in her old life, Scott probably would have been one of her best friends, if not her boyfriend. But here in Sunnydale? Things were way different.

"Let's dance."

Buffy looked at him and smiled, but shook her head. "No, I'm sorry, I'm dancing with my friend."

She saw the hard look cross his face and spared a glance over to Willow, who was watching with a curious look on her face. Buffy looked back at Scott, who she had hardly ever talked to before and saw the hard look turn into what he thought probably passed for smooth charm. The band took a break at that moment, and the speakers filled the club with a rocking beat.

"Come on, Buffy, just one dance." He cajoled. Physically, he had her by at least a foot and about 100 pounds, but Buffy knew a little something he didn't know, and that little edge gave her attitude.

"Sorry Skip. I'm really don't want to dance with anyone."

His face darkened with anger. "It's Scott." He ground out.

"Oops, my bad." Grabbing Willow's arm, Buffy started to lead her friend off the dance floor, dancing suddenly having lost its appeal.

Xander saw the exchange and stood up, seeing his friends heading off the dance floor and the tight rigid posture of the meathead football player. Then he remember his friend had superhuman strength, so he just waited for them to come back to the table to see what happened. Yep, the Buffsters could take care of herself, he thought with anticipation, hoping he would get to see her knock Scott on his ass. He had been tormented by the jock since preschool, and a little bit retribution would be of the good here.

Buffy forced her way through the throngs of people in her haste to get back to the table, her sense of not wanting to be here had slammed back in her with alarming force. Just as she was reaching the table, she felt a hand grab her arm, and she swung herself around and glared at the offender.

"Let go of my arm." She announced coldly.

"What's your problem? All I did was ask you to dance." The football star asked, his friends coming up to flank him. Xander's sense of apprehension just blasted right off the scale at that sight. Scott plus friends equals bad.

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest and looked up at him. "Yeah, and I remember saying no."

"You don't have to be such a bitch about it."

Suddenly, Buffy just wanted to get this over so she could cut out on her friends and get home to her family. Relaxing her stance, she managed an apologetic look on her face and said, "Look, I'm sorry, ok? Just not in the mood."

One of Scott's friends laughed nastily. "Yeah, well, guess you should have used that line a few years ago, huh? Maybe then you wouldn't have found yourself knocked up." His friends burst out into hysterical laughter at that comment, and they all high fived the idiot who said it.

Buffy's temper flared, they so went over the line with that little statement, and she had to bite back the urge to retaliate in a highly physical manner. God, high school boys were so stupid, she thought, as she looked at the group of howling meatheads around her. They had no idea.. This right here represented some of the most popular boys in school, and they just made her sick.

She turned to Willow and Xander while the self congratulations was underway and told them quietly she was leaving. They nodded with understanding, Willow obviously upset that the evening had ended the way it did. Buffy gave her a hug and told her to come over the next day. Willow looked at her in surprise, then smiled happily and nodded. With a quick wave, she turned around and headed out. She didn't look to see if her exit was noticed, because she just didn't care. As she stepped out of the Bronze and began walking down the street, she tried to imagine what her reaction would have been to being asked to dance by one of the most popular guys at school before Spike showed up. And she came to the conclusion that she still would have said no, but she would have been flattered by the attention. Ugh, she thought. How lame is that?

She was halfway home when she got that tingling in the back of her neck that signaled vampire. Getting a firmer grip on the stake she held in her hand, she allowed her eyes to search the area. She was in a part of Sunnydale that while busy during the day, was pretty much deserted at night. Not that it really bothered her, being the Slayer and all, but she'd still be happy to get home.

Suddenly she heard giggling coming from an alley and whispered hushes and she knew who it was. What idiots, following her from the Bronze. Walking purposefully, she stepped into the dark alley, rolling her eyes at how cliché this was. She tucked the stake she was carrying into her pocket where she still had easy access to it. The moon cast distorted shadows all throughout the length of the alley, and when she heard more muted hysteria, she realized that they were drunk. Great. Just what she needed. Drunk jocks. But she was curious to see how far they would go, and she was willing to teach them a lesson they would not soon forget. And hopefully the next time a girl said no to one of them, they would remember the lesson she was about to impart, and back away respectfully. Like they should have done tonight, Buffy thought bitterly. Instead of making snide comments about me getting pregnant. Pregnant with the best thing that ever happened to me, she added.

When she had just walked past an overflowing dumpster, she allowed herself to act surprised when a pair of beefy arms reached out and grabbed her.

"What are you doing?" She asked, allowing just a small hint of fear to be heard in her voice.

"Just want to talk." Scott said, grinning at his five friends.

"Did you follow me?"

"Maybe."

"I'm going home, so please just let go of my arm."

"Oh, I don't think so."

"Excuse me?" Buffy tried the haughty act to get the ball rolling.

"You heard me." Scott sneered, holding onto her arm tight enough to leave bruising. The knowledge that she could have him on his ass in seconds was comforting.

"So..what? What are you going to do? Oh my god, you think you're going to rape me?" She asked in disbelief. "I do believe that is against the law, you know, and will result in getting your stupid asses kicked off the football team."

"Now hold on, don't need to call it rape. Let's just think of it is as you giving up the same thing you've obviously already given to some other guy and we'll have a real nice time." Scott said in a leering way. It didn't even penetrate his drunken haze that Buffy showed no fear.

"Uh. let me think a minute, .. uh, no." Buffy announced.

"Well see, that's where we were hoping you'd be a little bit more cooperative."

"My god, where did you get these lines? Raping for Dummies?"

Scott's face turned red and his grip tightened. Throwing her up against the wall, he leaned against her hard and snarled, "Listen bitch, we're just going to take what you've already given away before. So you can either shut up and enjoy it, or fight and make it a lot harder on yourself. It's your choice."

Buffy nearly gagged at the smell of liquor on Scott's breath, and her vampire radar was stronger now. "My choice? I choose to go home."

"Sorry, that's not one of the options, bitch."

From behind the group, a voice asked "Did you just call my girl a bitch?"

Scott whipped around to see a man decked out in black with blonde hair that seemed to shine white. He had a dangerous look to him, but size wise he wasn't too impressive. With his five jock friends standing there, Scott was feeling pretty confident and not at all threatened.

"I asked you a question, boy." The man reached into his coat and pulled out a pack of smokes, putting one to his lips and with a flick of his lighter, inhaled the newly lit cigarette deeply before returning his penetrating gaze on the boy who held Buffy.

With a sneer, Scott tossed Buffy to the side, causing her to stumble at the unexpected maneuver. He missed the smirk she wore on her face. Scott strode up to the stranger and demanded, "What business is it of yours?"

"Oh, it's my business." Spike said calmly, locking eyes on Buffy, assuring himself that she was all right. She gave him a tiny nod and they communicated without words. He closed the distance to Scott, not seeming to be affected by the substantial height difference as he looked up into the idiot's face.

"So, what? You're going to beat us up for talking with your girlfriend?" Scott asked in amusement, looking around at his snickering friends.

"Nope." Spike said, dropping his cigarette to the ground and smashing it with the toe of his battered combat boot. He looked back up, a smirk drawing over his face. As Scott stood there trying to figure out what was up, Spike allowed his face to change. "I'm going to kill you."

Scott stared in mute horror at the monster that now stood in front of him, and quickly backed up to get away. Right into Buffy.

"Oh, who's the big man now, huh?" She mocked, giving him a hard shove which sent him to the ground. Buffy walked over next to Spike, pressing herself into his side as his arm snaked around her waist.

"Nice friends you have there, luv." Spike remarked in a rough voice, his amber eyes peering intently at her.

Buffy leaned up and pressed a careful kiss to his lips, avoiding his fangs. "Aren't they though?" She looked back at the teen frozen on the ground and at the boys standing in mute terror next to him. "So... why don't you boys tell my guy here some of the lovely things you were spouting at me?"

When that was met with a terrified silence, Buffy rolled her eyes. "Come on, you guys were so quick with the wit earlier."

"What... what is he?" one of them ventured to ask.

"Vampire." Buffy announced smugly. She knew she shouldn't be enjoying this, but well, she just couldn't help herself.

tbc..
 

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