Chapter 5: Dream a little dream of me

For the next five days, one of the Scoobies was at Buffy's bedside every minute. Dawn still wouldn't leave the hospital. The farthest anyone could get her to go was to the unit waiting room, and then she would only stay long enough to drink a soda or eat whatever her friends brought in for her. Willow had finally just packed an overnight bag for Dawn so that they could avoid trying to get her to go home to shower and change clothes.

Dawn asked Tara to bring her little radio to the hospital, and her collection of mix-tapes. She placed the radio on the little table beside Buffy's bed, and would play the music for her. She especially liked to play the "Buffy and Spike mix tape", the one she had made for the two of them earlier that year. Dawn hoped that some of the songs would make Buffy remember how much she loved Spike, and encourage her to wake up so she could find him. Dawn also realized that with the music playing, everyone didn't feel like they had to talk all the time to fill the awkward silence that had begun to fill the hospital room.

Angel had made arrangements to stay indefinitely. He told Willow that he just couldn't bring himself to leave while Buffy was still in a coma. But even Angel's voice didn't stir her from her deep slumber. Everyone would talk to her, and hold her hand, and try to make her feel how much they loved her and needed for her to wake up, but not one of the group could get Buffy to respond in any way. The doctor told them to remain hopeful, though. It appeared that all of her tests were normal; she had suffered no long-term damage. The only apparent explanation he could offer them was that the sudden trauma had sent her deep inside her subconscious to a place that she found safe from harm. Only time would tell what stimulus would be able to bring her back and wake her up. So they waited; hoping everyday that today would be the day they would stumble on something to wake her up.

***

Buffy felt like she was living out some sort of fantasy life. She felt light and airy; everything she touched was soft and warm, and she was surrounded by all the people she loved the most. She knew she wasn't dead, because this didn't feel exactly like Heaven, but rather sort of like the way she wished things really were.

At first, she felt completely detached from everything. The only thing she could remember was seeing a blindingly bright white light, and then feeling like her connections to all the people she loved had been snapped in two- especially her connection to Spike. She had always felt a mystical connection to him, she could always tell if there was something wrong, or feel when he was happy or sad. But when she first started to feel and see things after being blinded by the white light, the first thing she realized was that her connection to Spike was gone. She couldn't feel what was going on with him, and she just felt empty inside.

But slowly the people and things she loved most in her life started to appear to her. She could hear music in the background- vaguely familiar music, and she could hear the voices of all of her friends, entertaining her with happy thoughts and stories from their childhood. When she didn't hear their voices, she rested, but still felt like she was in a state of awareness, like she was living in a dream. And she was beginning to have some really great dreams.

The first dream Buffy had featured herself and all of her loved ones, and they seemed to be on a much-needed vacation. From what she could tell, they were in England, exploring the countryside and visiting castles and cathedrals and all the places they'd read about in all of their research over the years. Of course Spike avoided the cathedrals when they came upon one, but whenever they were in the castles or wandering the streets of some small quaint town he would entertain them with stories of when he had lived in that country. To him it seemed that things had changed greatly, but it was easy enough for Buffy to imagine that things hadn't changed that much at all, and that she was in fact wandering the streets of England with the pre-Spike version of William.

The next night she had a dream that seemed to be set in the future. Buffy was inside of an old church, (one that was no longer used for services but that was still very well kept and beautiful) and she was in a small room getting dressed for some event. When her sister came into the small room, Buffy realized that she was getting ready for her wedding. Dawn had helped her with her veil, and into her wedding dress. Buffy sort of wondered while she was getting dressed who it was that she was preparing to marry, but she felt a sense of calm when she stood at the back door of the church, waiting for Giles to walk her down the aisle. When the doors opened, her eyes met the deep blue ones she knew so well, and she noticed that a huge smile spread across her groom's face as he took in the sight of his bride.

For the next few nights, Buffy didn't really remember any huge events from her dreams. She knew that she did dream, but they were just old familiar scenes, filled with memories of her friends and happy times with her mom and her sister. Buffy sort of thought it was strange that she never dwelt on any of the bad events from her past, like when she fought the master or when Glory tried to use Dawn to end the world. Of course, she remembered that those things had happened but the bad thoughts that surrounded the events never snuck into her dreams. As she dreamed these little dreams, Buffy started to feel rested, and peaceful. She thought that maybe she would soon feel strong enough to find a way out of her fantasy world, and back into real life with the people who visited in her dreams.

She and Spike were the only ones in her next dream. They were walking through a forest on a very cloudy day. The sun was not out enough to harm Spike, and the thick cover of trees above their heads provided plenty of shade should a stray beam of sunshine decide to peak out from behind the clouds. They were walking along, hand in hand, just chatting idly about nothing really important, when all of a sudden they came to a clearing. Buffy raised an eyebrow when she saw that there was a plaid blanket perfectly laid out on the ground, and there were flower petals strewn in pretty patterns on the ground around the blanket. Spike just smirked when he motioned for her to sit on the blanket. Buffy wondered what could possibly be going on, when Spike turned and pulled what looked like a guitar case from behind a near by tree. He took his place next to her, and started to sing her a song. He had only sang to her once before, when the demon came to town and made them all dance and sing like they were acting out some made-for-television musical. Buffy was touched by the words of his sweet ballad, and thought she might cry at the gesture. She had heard this song before, but it was so out of character for him she couldn't really place where she had heard it- she just sat there in awe and listened as this man she loved so much poured his heart out to her though music.

**

1 Who knows how long I've loved you

You know I love you still

Will I wait a lonely lifetime

If you want me to I will.

'Cause if I ever saw you

I didn't catch your name

But it doesn't really matter

I will always feel the same

I'll love you forever and forever

Love you with all my heart

Love you whenever we're together

Love you when we're apart

When I finally find you

This song will fill the air

Sing it loud so I can hear you

Make it easy to be near you

All the things you do, endear you to me

Oh, you know I will

I'll love you forever and forever

Love you with all my heart

I love you whenever we're together

Love you when we're apart

When I finally find you

This song will fill the air

Sing it loud so I can hear you

Make it easy to be near you

All the things you do endear you to me

Oh, you know I will. I will

**

Buffy's next dream was not as happy as her others had been, but in the same sense it wasn't really bad. She never could really figure out where she was, other than she knew she was in a hotel room with Spike. He was sleeping, and when she woke him up he seemed less than happy to see her. She began speaking to him, despite the fact that he looked at her like she was the second to last person he wanted to see just then.

"Spike," she started "I know that you are upset with me right now, and you have every right to be." As Buffy heard the words she uttered in her dream the events from Thanksgiving day came back to her, and she remembered why he would not be happy to see her. Her speech continued.

"Please, just hear me out. Something has happened that you don't know about, and I can't really tell you about it right now. But you need to know that I need you, desperately. maybe more now than I've ever needed you in my entire life. I need to be saved, and you are the only one who can save me. And if you don't get back to Sunnydale soon, it may be too late."

"She's telling the truth, Spike." Buffy and Spike both snapped their head toward the door and wondered why in the world Angel was there.

"Why are you here? This is MY dream!" Buffy shouted at him.

"I thought you might could use a little help. Spike, you got things all wrong when you left on Thanksgiving. Since this is Buffy's dream, I'm not going to stay very long. I just had to tell you that you're being selfish right now, staying away from her when you know you need her as much as she needs you. She loves you, more than she loves her own life. She doesn't love me, and I didn't come to Sunnydale to ruin things for the two of you. Now get up off your ass and get home, and save the woman you love."

With that, Angel disappeared as quickly as he had appeared in the dream. Buffy felt things beginning to get hazy, and she told Spike that she had to go.

"You must know that everything I said to you tonight is true, as well as what Angel said. Please come back to me, and please come before it's too late."

***

Buffy had been in the hospital for nine days. It was Angel's turn to sit with her, and for a few long moments he just sat and gazed at her. Most of her bruises had faded, and the cuts on her arms and legs had healed. The only real evidence that she'd even been hurt was a rather large bruise on her right cheek that just would not go away, and the bandage that covered the gash over her left eye. It had been her deepest wound, and the doctor had told them that it would take the longest to heal. Angel finally took Buffy's small hand in his own, and was surprised to find that it felt so lifeless. His heightened senses alerted him that her heart rate was slowing down, and that she wasn't filled with any of the energy he had sensed in her during the past few days. She was slipping away.

Angel knew that the only person who would be able to save her was Spike, and he really had no idea where to find him. He could always try his trick of using his metal telepathy connection to Spike. He'd never really used it on Spike before. He'd used it a couple of times on Dru, and it had worked, so he decided that it might be his only chance to help save Buffy. While he held Buffy's hand, Angel started to concentrate on finding Spike. When his thoughts were settled, he began to speak, hoping that Spike could hear him, and that he would listen.

* "Spike, you got things all wrong when you left on Thanksgiving. Since this is Buffy's dream, I'm not going to stay very long. I just had to tell you that you're being selfish right now, staying away from her when you know you need her as much as she needs you. She loves you, more than she loves her own life. She doesn't love me, and I didn't come to Sunnydale to ruin things for the two of you. Now get up off your ass and get home, and save the woman you love." * His thoughts were cut short when Dawn walked in the room and asked him if anything seemed different with Buffy.

He lied to Dawn, deciding that it would be useless to worry her just now. He told her that Buffy seemed to be about the same, and that they just needed to stick by her and remind her how much they all loved her.

***

During his first two days in Vegas, Spike didn't have the strength to do anything, other than lay in his hotel room and sleep. The sleep didn't even really do him any good though, it was fitful and the now present feeling of emptiness overwhelmed him. It was all he could do to get up, inch over to the mini fridge and grab out a pack of blood that he'd bought from a butcher he found on his way into town. He knew that if he didn't eat he'd never get his strength back, but in the back of his mind he didn't even really care.

Then it happened. The third night he was there, Buffy began to sneak into his dreams. His sleeping hours became more restful, and it was almost as if nothing had changed between them. He had dreams that they were on spectacular vacations, that they were walking through lush forests, and one night he even had a vision of Buffy as the most beautiful bride he'd ever seen in his entire existence. His favorite dreams were the smaller ones, though, the ones where they were just together, and happy, and spending time with the people who meant the most to them.

Spike had been in Vegas for about nine days when he had a dream that both mystified and horrified him at the same time. Buffy came to him in a dream, and told him that she needed for him to save her. Then Angel was there backing up the fact that Buffy needed him. Angel came and went rather quickly in the dream, while Buffy lingered a bit longer. Spike could tell that something definitely was not right with her. Was that a bruise he saw on her shadowy face? As she disappeared from his dream, Spike shot up in bed, sucking in a deep, although unnecessary, breath. Could it be true? Could she really need him? He had failed to save her once, and as a result had to spend one hundred forty-seven grueling days knowing she was six feet under in the Sunnydale Cemetery. If she really did need him, and he failed her again, Spike knew that he would not be able to continue existing. He immediately got up and threw his things in a bag, and checked out of his hotel. Throwing his old tattered blanket over his head, he made it to the safety of his car, behind blacked-out windows. Spike had not looked at a clock, but figured that it was late afternoon. The four hour drive would put him in Sunnydale just before sunset, and he hoped that he could find Buffy before it was too late.

***

Anya looked up from counting her money at the shop when she heard the bell jingle over the front door. The look on Xander's face told her that things were not going well at the hospital. She closed the cash drawer and went to sit with her fiancé at the research table.

"How is Buffy? Is there any change?" she asked apprehensively.

"Well, no, there's no significant change, but the doctor does not seem to be as hopeful." Xander explained. " He came in this afternoon and explained to all of us that Buffy's vitals are not as strong as they've been in the last few days, and she's not being as responsive to those stimulus tests they've been doing on her everyday."

"You mean the ones where they shine a light in her eyes and stick her with little pins?"

"Yes, those." Xander continued. " Dawn is not taking the news very well. She told the doctor that she refused to believe that her sister would not wake up, and how dare he come into her room where she could hear him and basically say he'd given up on her. She's fighting mad, and I'm not really sure if there's anything we can do to calm her down, short of sedating her. I'm worried about both of them, and I'm afraid that the only thing that can save Buffy now is Spike, and we have no way of finding him."

"Xander, you look tired. Why don't you go home and try to get some rest, and I will go back to the hospital and stay with Dawn and Angel tonight."

Xander was touched by his fianc's offer, and a little surprised at how she didn't throw in some completely inappropriate innuendo. He finally agreed, and she told him that she had one thing to finish up at the shop, and then she would close and head over to the hospital. She had just finished up her final counting of the money for the evening, and was hurriedly gathering her things to leave for the hospital when she heard the doorbell clink again.

"I'm sorry but we're already closed for the evening. I have to leave, it's a family emergency." Anya said before she looked up to see who was standing in the doorway.

"Bloody hell, it's true, then" came the reply in an all too familiar English accent.

Anya looked up to see Spike standing in the doorway of the shop. She'd never been happier to see him. "Come on" she said, as she grabbed his arm and pulled him out the door "we have to get you to the hospital NOW! I'll explain on the way."

Chapter six: Broken Dreams

Spike didn't recall it ever taking this long to get to the hospital. The very imagery brought up by Anya's account of what had happened to Buffy made Spike sick to his stomach. Could vampires even be sick at their stomachs? His mind was reeling; he knew this whole thing was his fault. If he hadn't left so hastily on Thanksgiving, then Buffy wouldn't have been alone in the cemetery, and she wouldn't have been injured and now lying in the hospital in a coma.

Just before they reached the hospital, Anya decided she'd better tell Spike the part of the story that she'd left out until then. Spike was surprised at the kind tone in her voice, much less calculated and obvious than usual, and more caring and concerned.

"Spike, there's something else. Today the doctor told us that he was afraid Buffy was slipping deeper into her coma. He's afraid that she's too far gone, and Dawn is really not taking it very well. We're hoping that knowing you are here will save her. Nothing we have tried so far has helped. But you should be prepared for the reaction you'll get from Dawn. She's not wanting to face the possibility of loosing her sister again, and she's looking for anyone she can to blame."

"Well, then, she won't have to look any further than me then, since this is all my fault."

"Spike, no.that's not what I meant. I just meant that you should be aware that things are likely to not be pretty when we get in there. But I'm sure that Angel and I can convince Dawn that it's important for you to see Buffy right away, and we can keep her occupied while you see Buffy." Anya explained.

"Angel's there? Great. That's just what I need- the two people who hate me the most right now, all in one night."

"Come on, Spike. We have to go inside."

**

Dawn was so angry with the doctor that she felt like her blood was going to boil. How dare he come into Buffy's room and basically tell them to give up hope that anything would bring her sister out of this coma. * I swear, if I ever see Spike again, I'll kick his ass right back to wherever he ran off to for the last two weeks * Dawn thought to herself. Angel had been napping in the chair, which normally would totally creep her out. He looked so dead when he slept. She wished he would wake up, because all of this negative energy she was feeling couldn't be good for encouraging the Buffy situation.

Angel began to stir, and Dawn jumped up and crossed the room to where he was sitting. As soon as his eyes were open, Dawn said "Angel will you sit with Buffy? I need to get out of this room for a little while."

Angel wondered at her sudden need to get away. Normally they had to pry her out the door, just to go eat something. "Are you sure you're ok?" He asked.

"Sure, I- I- I just need some air" she stammered.

"Well, try not to be gone too long. I don't like the idea of you wandering around all alone, and Anya probably won't be here for about another hour." Dawn agreed to not be gone too long, and stalked out into the hallway.

Dawn wandered around down the hall, and noticed that Buffy's room was on a rather large unit, with a hallway that snaked around into a whole other unit of the hospital. At the end of the hallway, Dawn saw a small, quiet seating area that she'd never know was there before. There was large picture window, and she found herself gazing out at the beautiful sunset. She heard the click of a door opening behind her, and then the cry of several babies. She turned around to see where the cries had come from, and saw a nurse walking around the corner as a door quietly closed behind her. Dawn walked around the corner from the window, and saw why she'd heard babies crying. The hallway from Buffy's unit connected with the OB unit, and Dawn found herself in front of the nursery windows.

Proud new fathers and grandparents stood there, oo-ing and ah-ing over the newest additions to their families. As she stood there looking at the babies, she felt some of her anxiety melting away. The babies were so tiny and their faces looked so peaceful. She envied them because they didn't have a care in the world. They didn't know what it was like to have a sister lying in a coma down the hall. Dawn let her own thoughts drift, and she soon found herself contemplating an unsettling notion. None of this probably would have happened if it weren't for Angel bringing Conner to meet them. * Guess that negates the whole 'babies are bundles of joy' thing * she caught herself thinking. But Dawn knew this was wrong however. Conner didn't ask to be born, anymore than he asked for Angel to bring him to Sunnydale. Although now she sort of felt like she could shift a little of the blame to Angel, but what ever blame she placed on him could be easily forgiven, because the doctor had told them flat out that Buffy would be dead if Angel hadn't found her and took her to the hospital when he did. So that still left Dawn placing most of her blame on Spike. She decided to go out on the front porch and get that breath of fresh air she'd told Angel she was going for, and then go back and wait in the waiting room for a little while until Anya showed up.

Dawn sat in the waiting room but she was too restless to just sit around. She found herself pacing around outside of Buffy's room. She knew that Angel could probably hear her, and she knew it was probably driving him crazy. So, she sat down in the hallway beside Buffy's door, not quite ready to go back inside. She heard Anya's voice in the distance, and wondered whom she was talking to. Maybe Xander was with her, or maybe she was talking to him on her cell phone.

"I'm just trying to make sure that you know what you're walking into. I mean, if Xander were lying in hospital bed in this condition, I certainly would want someone to prepare me."

Ok, so she wasn't talking to Xander. Figuring out exactly who Anya was talking to was just too much for Dawn at that moment, but she wouldn't have to wait very long to know who it was. Dawn looked up and saw Anya round the corner, and following closely behind her she saw the bleach blonde vamp she'd been mentally assaulting all day.

Dawn jumped up and ran down the hall toward them. Spike saw her coming and prepared to embrace her and calm her fears about her sister. He was not, however, prepared for her to smack him in the face. Before he could say anything, Dawn started talking, raising her voice with every sentence.

"How dare you show up here, you son of a bitch? It's your bleeding fault that she's here, and that we might not get her back. What the hell were you thinking coming here? Did you think we were just going to welcome you back, and act like nothing happened? This is all your fault, it's your fault that my sister might die, and I swear to you, Spike, if she does, I will hunt you down and stake you myself."

Spike was speechless as the slayer's sister continued to shout at him. She was still hitting him, too, slapping and throwing punches as the strained words tumbled out of her mouth. As her face flushed out of anger, she was shouting obscenities at him that he didn't even know that the 16-year-old had heard before.

Anya was at first caught off guard by Dawn's sudden outburst, and not really sure what to do to stop it. Finally she found her voice and said "Hey! Dawn stop it! Angel, come help us!"

Angel heard the disturbance in the hallway, and rushed out of Buffy's room to find Dawn, pinning Spike up against the wall, shouting at him and threatening to beat him senseless. Angel lunged forward and managed to pull Dawn off of Spike. She was still flailing her arms around, but he managed to hold her and spin her around so that she was no longer looking at Spike.

"Dawn!" he said, " This is not the time! He may be our only chance to save Buffy. Now I know that you are upset with him, I think we all probably are." At this point Angel shot a pointed glance to Spike, and Spike knew that he was facing a long road to forgiveness with his friends. Angel continued. "Dawn, please go with Anya to the waiting room, and wait. I need to talk to Spike and then we need to let him see Buffy. Do you think you can do that for me?"

The younger Summers sister nodded her head. When you put it that way, she could agree. She would do anything not to loose her sister again. She could always wail on Spike later, when they left the hospital.

As Dawn and Anya walked toward the waiting room, Spike looked up at Angel. "Well, I'm sure you'd like to take your shot at me now".

"No, Spike, now is not the time. But, what's that word you like to use to describe me all the time.wanker? I don't think I have to tell you what a wanker you were when you left her."

"Point taken, Peaches. Now can I see her?"

"Yes. We'll just be down the hall if you need us. And Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"It's important that you talk to her. I don't know if Anya told you that, but she needs to hear your voice."

**

Spike walked cautiously into Buffy's room. Anya had told him what happened to Buffy, and had tried to prepare him, but nothing could have really prepared him for the sight of her. He had never seen anything that looked as frail as she did. Her tiny form barely made an indention in the mattress of the hospital bed she was laying in. He had just expected her to look like she was sleeping, and to be bandaged up a bit. But her skin was not radiant like it usually was when she slept. There were IV tubes in one of her hands, which connected her to some sort of little pumping machine that he didn't really understand (he figured it was her medicine, though). As he got closer to her he could see the rather large bruise on her face, and the bandage that covered her left temple.

It was then that Spike remembered his stop at the rest area on the night he left. He realized that it was Buffy's scream that he had heard, and when he had felt that searing pain in his head, it was her pain he was sharing as the thing that hurt her had slashed into her flesh. And when the overwhelming emptiness had filled him, he was feeling the connection they shared being broken.

Spike resisted verbalizing the steady string of curses that came to his mind. Since they were all directed at himself it was just as well that they stayed in his head. He wondered if somewhere, deep inside, she could feel that he was there. He hoped that she could, because as he felt tears sliding down his face Spike didn't know if he would be able to talk to her just yet.

**

Inside Buffy's mind, her dreams were slipping away. She had left the room where she'd beckoned Spike to come and help her. She was beginning to see things in flashes, as if images were passing before her like some life-size slide show. She saw herself lying in a bed, with her friends sitting by her, one by one, and crying. Then she saw each of the dreams she'd had in previous days, hanging before her like paintings in a museum. Just as she would focus her eyes on them and start to feel their warmth, they would fall off the wall and shatter into a million pieces at her feet.

Then, Buffy had a memory that she's not faced in quite some time. She was standing on the tower, explaining to Dawn why she had to jump. But something was very different about it this time. This time it felt final, like there would be no second chances at being brought back, and she didn't have the feeling that she was doing it to save the world. In fact, she didn't want to jump at all. Buffy felt an unseen force pushing her off the side of the tower. She had fallen, and was holding on as best she could to the side of the scaffolding. But her hands were starting to slip, and she couldn't maintain her grasp on the world she so desperately wanted to stay in. At the last possible second, she felt a strong hand from above her reach out and grab her own, just as the tears started to stream down her face. As she looked up to see who had saved her from falling, she met the same blue eyes that she had seen in her wedding dream. She knew he had come for her. He had saved her, just like he had wanted to the night she fell for real.

**

Spike couldn't find the words just yet, but he sat gently on the edge of her bed. He could no longer stand not being close to her, so he reached down and took her hand in his own and held it there, as if he were holding on to keep her from falling or something. While he held her hand, he noticed that a single tear had escaped her eye, and was rolling down her pale cheek. An unnecessary breath caught in Spike's throat. Just then, it didn't seem so important to Spike that he say all the right things to her, he just felt the need to tell her what he was feeling. So Spike started talking to her, in the calmest, most gentle voice he could manage.

"Luv, I'm here for you. I came to save you. I failed at saving you once and I'll be damned if I fail at it again. Please don't leave me. I'm so sorry that I was such a bloody wanker and ran off that night. I'd always been asking you to trust me and when I should have trusted you I couldn't try. But I promise you that if you will just come back I will make it up to you in every way I know how."

He could have sworn that he felt her skin warm up a little. Was she listening to him? Was it working? He continued.

"But pet, I know that we've got a lot to work out, so I will understand if you don't want to come back just for me. But the Lil' Bit misses you and she needs you to come back too. And Xander, and Anya, and Willow and Tara, they all need you too. Angel's even got his knickers in a twist over you doing the sleeping beauty bit. So please, please come back to us. We all need you more than you can imagine."

That's when it happened. She squeezed his hand. Not just a light little squeeze that could be mistaken for a reaction, but a squeeze that felt like she was holding on to a lifeline. Spike wasn't quite sure what to do, and remembering that the waiting room wasn't that far away, he just called out to the others from his spot on Buffy's bed.

The three came running into her room, led by Dawn. Spike didn't give them a chance to ask him what was going on. He held up her hand, so they could see that her fingers were curled over his knuckles so tightly that he couldn't even think of breaking the grasp.

"She's holding your hand!" Dawn exclaimed. "She hasn't done that for any of us, not a single time since she's been here. Angel, run and get a nurse, or a doctor or something! NOW!"

Angel reappered in the room with Buffy's doctor, who told them he'd have to examine her. Spike looked at the doctor as if he was crazy when the Doc suggested that he let go of Buffy's hand so he could look her over. The doctor relented, and let Spike keep his position on her bed and holding her hand. He looked truly amazed when he told them that Buffy's condition seemed to be improving. He would have to check her again in the morning, of course, and keep her under close watch, but it certainly looked as though she was out of the woods.

Over the next several days, Buffy continued to improve. Her skin regained its color, and it appeared that her slayer healing powers had kicked in full force, because the nasty bruise on her cheek faded and the gash above her eye was reduced to a thin white scar that barely nicked her eyebrow. She had not yet fully woken up, but every now and then her eyes would flutter behind her eyelids, and whenever anyone of the Scoobies held her hand to talk to her she grasped it back in response.

Buffy had improved so much, in fact, that Spike had finally convinced Dawn to go home and get a proper meal and a good night's sleep. Everyone else had left the hospital for the day, and only Spike was in the room with Buffy. He was sitting in the chair next to her bed, holding her hand, and he had fallen asleep with his head on the edge of the bed. Buffy cautiously opened her eyes, like she did in the mornings when she wasn't quite ready to wake up but could sense sunlight streaming through the windows. She blinked a couple of times, and looked around the sterile room.

Her gaze drifted down to the cool hand that gently held her own, and then she saw the blonde head that was resting just beside it. She slipped her hand out of his, and started to ruffle his hair, to wake him up. It wasn't working. Her throat felt so dry, but she was able to croak out a whisper.

"Spike. Spiiike. Wake up. I'm awake, you should be too." His eyes flew open, and he sat up like he had been shocked.

"Buffy! You're awake!"

"So I am. Spike, I need to tell you."

He cut her off by reaching up and kissing her lips gently.

"Shh pet. We have the rest of eternity to talk. And you don't have anything to explain to me. I should spend the rest of my unlife explaining to you."

"You saved me." She whispered.

"Didn't I promise you once that I would always save you? That I would never let you fall again?"

" Yes, you did. So, we're ok, then?" she questioned.

"We're more than ok Buffy. We're finally together again. And this time, I'm never letting you go."



TBC

Chapter 7: The blame game

Spike and Buffy sat for a long, tender moment, simply gazing into one another’s eyes dreamily. As much as he hated to interrupt the peacefulness he felt, Spike broke the silence surrounding them.

“Luv, it’s not that I don’t enjoy having you all to myself, but don’t you think we should call everyone and let them know you’re awake?”

“Do we have to? They’ll all just rush down here and hover over me. I was kind of enjoying just being here with you...”

“I know, Pet, but your friends are angry enough at me as it is. If I don’t call them and at least tell them you’re awake, that will just be one more reason for them to mix my vodka with holy water instead of tonic.”

Buffy frowned at his statement. A small crease appeared on her forehead as she knit her brow together. “What are you talking about Spike?”

He drew in a deep, unnecessary breath and exhaled slowly. He really didn’t want for this to be their first discussion after she woke up. “It’s nothing for you to concern yourself with, Luv. They are just all a bit upset with me for leaving, is all. Kind of realizing that you being in here is all my fault, and I can’t say I disagree. But you need your rest, so we can talk about this later.”

The frown on Buffy’s face did not fade, and her forehead only became more deeply furrowed. “But Spike...” As she opened her mouth to speak, Spike placed his index finger gently to her lips to silence her, and continued speaking.

“No ‘but Spike’s’ from you right now. I’m going to call the Lil Bit and tell her you’re awake, and then you are going to get some more rest while she’s on her way here.”

Buffy knew that arguing with him at this point was futile, so she consented to let him call home. But not before she insisted that he let her talk to Dawn before he hung up.

Spike dialed the number, and was thankful when Dawn answered. She was still pretty angry with him, but she was still a little easier to deal with than the others were. Buffy couldn’t really hear what Spike was saying to her sister, but she could tell that their conversation was strained. Finally, Buffy could make out some of Spike’s words, and she heard him say “...right then, well just get here when you can, and don’t worry Dawn, I won’t be here when you get here.”

Buffy reached out and hit Spike on the arm, and motioned for him to give her the phone. Dawn was still rattling away on the other end, but Buffy took the phone anyway.

“Dawnie?” Buffy held the phone away from her ear as Dawn excitedly shrieked out her relief at hearing her sister’s voice.

“Dawn, calm down,” Buffy continued, as Spike listened to her side of the conversation. “I know, Dawn, I’m glad to be awake, too. But listen to me. Don’t come up here right away. Yes, I want to see you, but I’m actually feeling a little tired, and I just feel like I need to rest. You can get Willow or Xander to bring you up here later...or Angel, if you really want him to bring you. Ok Dawn, that sounds good, you can have Angel bring you after sunset.” Buffy looked over at Spike before continuing. “And Dawn, Spike WILL be here when you get here. I love you too, Dawnie, see you soon.”

Buffy looked over at Spike, and studied his concerned expression. “Spike, you can’t avoid her forever. We all have a lot to work through, and I think it’s best if we try to do it together. Now will you come over here and sit with me until I fall asleep?”

Spike could hardly argue with the woman he loved so deeply. He walked over to her bed, placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, and held her hand while she drifted off into a peaceful, restful sleep.

***

Spike couldn’t tear his eyes away from Buffy, even though she was sleeping. Even asleep, she was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen. He wasn’t really sure how long she had been asleep, but he had been watching her the whole time; watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she took slow measured breaths, watching her eyes flutter behind her lids (he wondered if she was dreaming), watching how every now and then her fingers would twitch and then stop when he made his hand available for her to hold. Just as the sky began casting brilliant orange and red shadows of sunset through the blinds of her room, Buffy awoke. She looked a little fretful until she turned her head and let her gaze rest on the bright blue eyes that were fixed upon her. A smile quickly spread across her face.

“You’re still here. I was afraid it was all a dream.”

Spike shook his head, and kissed her hand. “No, Pet, I’m never, ever leaving your side ever again.”

“I know. Spike, I don’t think this was your fault.”

“But it is, Buffy. If I hadn’t left on Thanksgiving you wouldn’t have been out alone, and that demon wouldn’t have attacked you.”

“We don’t know that, Spike. Corcoran was looking for both of us. So if you had been here, and we were out together, then... God forbid- we could both be dead right now. As it happened, we saved each other.”

“Buffy- I don’t...”

Spike was interrupted by a knock on the door. He and Buffy cast a sideways glance at the doorway, and saw a little balloon person walk in. Both slayer and vampire looked from the door to each other in amazement. The little balloon person was followed directly by Dawn, Willow, Xander and Anya. Dawn ran past the little balloon and rushed toward Buffy’s bed. Spike moved away from the bed just before Dawn pounced on the bed to envelope her sister in a crushing hug.

“Oh, Buffy, you’re awake. I’m so happy. You have no idea how worried we all were. I was so afraid. But you’re going to be ok, right? Can you come home soon? What did the doctor say?”

“Whoa Dawn. Slow down.” Buffy hugged her sister back, then pulled away to look at her face. “The doctor is coming by on his rounds this evening. He said he would tell me more then about when I can go home. I feel fine, though just a little tired.”

Buffy giggled and motioned toward the little balloon, now standing near Spike. “Um, Dawnie, what’s with your new friend?”

Dawn laughed. “Isn’t he cute? We saw them in the gift shop downstairs. I just had to get you one. They have them for every possible occasion. Little balloon people that are pink and say “it’s a girl” or blue ones that say “it’s a boy” and all different colors that say “get well soon”... do you like him?”

“Yes, Dawn, he’s quite cute. Thank you for bringing me a surprise.”



Spike was observing the activity from the corner of Buffy’s room, trying to avoid the icy stares from the Scoobies.

Dawn walked toward the door, and opened it again. “That’s not your only surprise.” She poked her head out the door and said “Come on in guys.”

This time Dawn was followed by Tara, carrying a baby bag on her shoulder, and Angel, carrying Conner in his arms, all bundled up in a warm blanket and wearing a little infant-sized boggin.

Angel looked toward Buffy and said with a crooked smile “I hope you don’t mind, he insisted we bring him to visit.”

Buffy grinned, knowing that the infant couldn’t really have insisted on anything. Then, she caught the look on Spike’s face out of the corner of her eye. Angel walked over to the chair beside Buffy’s bed and began to unwrap Connor from his blanket.

“Buffy, do you want to hold him?”

“No.” Buffy answered a little too quickly, but tried to cover the hurt in her voice. “I-I mean, not just yet. I’m still feeling a little woozie. Maybe later.”

Just then, Spike stepped out of the corner, his eyes wide and mouth open, pointing at the baby. “What in the bleeding hell is that?!”

Everyone stifled a laugh as they realized that Spike had not yet met Connor.

***

Buffy spoke before Angel could. “THAT is the reason Angel was coming to Sunnydale on Thanksgiving. His name is Connor.”

Spike still had a look of shock on his face, and the fact that Connor was Angel’s son had apparently not sunk in yet with him. “Well, where did he come from? Did Angel steal him and come running to Sunnydale for protection or something?”

“No, you moron” Angel threw in. “He’s my SON. Mine and Darla’s... and before you ask about that, just know that it’s another story for another day.”

The look of complete and total shock faded a little from Spike’s face, and he glanced back and forth between Angel and Buffy. Spike felt a knot developing in his stomach as he had a great epiphany: that little speech of Buffy’s that he found actually * was * meant for him. She was going to tell him that she loved him, and he jumped to the wrong conclusion and left. He left just like everyone else had, and brought Buffy’s worst nightmare to life.

“Oh, bloody hell...” Spike gasped. “Buffy I am so sorry. You tried to tell me, and I just wouldn’t listen...” Spike’s words trailed off as treacherous tears started to fall from his eyes.

Willow, Xander and Anya noticed when Dawn started clenching her fists, but didn’t move to intervene. They all braced themselves for the storm that was brewing. Dawn stepped in front of Spike and spoke in an even harsher tone than when she saw him his first night back.

“Yeah, Spike, you wouldn’t listen, would you? You just barged into our house, and ruined Buffy’s perfect Thanksgiving, and wouldn’t even give her the chance to explain anything to you. I always thought that you would be different, that you would stick around when the going got tough, but what did you do? You just came in and said your peace and left. And look where that got us. Buffy almost got killed - I almost lost my sister again - and it’s ALL YOUR FAULT!”

“Dawn, I think that Spike knows what he did wrong, it’s not going to help any to keep reminding him why Buffy’s here,” Angel interjected.

Spike looked at Angel in disbelief. “Excuse me? You certainly can’t blame all this on me. If you hadn’t insisted on coming to Sunnydale in the first place none of this would have happened!”

“Well, Buffy really would be dead if Angel hadn’t found her in the cemetery and brought her to the hospital!” Dawn was shouting at this point, not even caring that she was in the hospital.

“Right then. Let’s just give him a great big ‘Poof of the year’ award then!”

“At least he stuck around to help. He didn’t run off to God-knows-where and stay away while my sister was lying in the hospital dying!”

Anya decided to put her two cents in: “At least he came back when he figured out there was something wrong. She would still be in that coma if he hadn’t come back.”

Dawn turned on Anya. “I don’t even want to hear what you have to say. You act like he didn’t do anything wrong at all! When did you suddenly sprout emotions? Usually you’re the one who’s stating the painfully obvious, but now all of a sudden you’re the one who’s taking up for him and trying to be reasonable? Get over yourself Anya!”

Anya started crying and ran from the room. Tara followed after her, while Xander took the opportunity to get in a few words with Dawn.

“Dawnie, I love you, but that was totally uncalled for. All she was trying to do was get you to see that while Spike did handle this the wrong way at first, he came back and is trying to make things right. You didn’t have to be so hard on her.”

“Yeah, well, you’re just afraid to agree with me because you know if you do then you’d be sleeping all alone on your sofa tonight instead of all snuggly with your ex-demon finance!!”

“DAWN!” Buffy, Spike, and Angel all spoke at once, in their most parental voice.

Xander rolled his eyes at Dawn, and walked out of the room to go check on Anya. Willow still stood silently by the window, taking in all of the action in Buffy’s room.

Angel, still holding Connor, went to Dawn and tried to comfort her. “Dawn, I know that you are still very upset at the thought that you could have lost Buffy again. But she’s going to be fine, and Spike understands what he did. Taking it out on everyone else is not going to make you feel any better in the long run.”

Buffy felt anger rising in her gut, and felt her cheeks flush bright red. Spike saw it too, but decided to stay out of her way. She sat forward in her bed, and said “What did you just say Angel?”

“I was just trying to get Dawn to see that constantly reminding Spike of how wrong it was to leave is not going to change what happened.”

“That’s what I thought you said. So I guess you’re just conveniently overlooking the fact that any of this is in any way your fault, then?”

Angel turned to face her with a look of total confusion on his face, as Buffy continued.

“You just call me up one day, and you’re all ‘I have a child now, and I need to come to Sunnydale to break the news to everyone and figure out what big bad evil might be coming for him’. Did you ever even stop to think about what that news would do to me? Or that I might have had a new life that I was happy with, and didn’t want you and your baby to remind me of what I’ll never have?!”

“Well, Buffy, you could have said no; told me not to come.”

“No, actually I couldn’t have. You never gave me the chance. You never once asked me how I felt about all of this. You just made your plans and carried them out. If you hadn’t come here then I probably wouldn’t be lying here in this bed, and I would have told Spike that I love him on thanksgiving instead of worrying about how to tell him about your child!”

Willow stepped away from the window; thinking that she should do something to stop them. “Uh- hey guys? Maybe it would be helpful if we all just took a step back and tried to be a little more reasonable. You know, be a little more with the understanding and a-a little less with the blame?”

Dawn and Angel snapped their heads around to look at Willow. “I hardly think you should be the one calling the shots, here Willow,” Angel seethed.

“Yeah,” Dawn threw in “You trying to be the voice of reason? HA! You’ve been flakier than a piecrust lately!”

Buffy could not believe what she was seeing and hearing. “Everybody STOP IT!!!”

Everyone still in the room stopped and looked at Buffy. She lowered her voice, but it was still dripping in a very slayer-like, authoritative tone.

“Dawn, you have really crossed the line tonight, and you should probably shut up before you say anything else you’ll regret in the morning. You just better hope and pray that you still have a friend left after some of the things you’ve said tonight.

“Willow, thank you for trying to get us to stop and think about what we were doing. I just think it’s going to take some time before we are all totally ok with everything that’s happened. Will you please tell Tara, Xander, and Anya that I’ll see them tomorrow?

“Angel, take Conner and Dawn and go home. I’ll call you in the morning, and let you know what my doctor says.”

Buffy looked over toward Spike who was sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. “You.” He looked up. “Stay.”

Dawn could not believe that her sister had just kicked her out of her room. She was opening her mouth to protest, but felt Angel’s firm hand on her shoulder. “Come on, Dawn, I think we should just go and give Buffy some time.” He looked back at Buffy. “We’ll wait to hear from you in the morning.”

The room was silent, except for the sound of Buffy’s breathing. Spike looked up at Buffy just as she started to cry, and she saw the tracks of tears on his face as well. She motioned for him to come and sit with her on the bed. He went to her, and wrapped his arms around her in a comforting embrace.

The two sat there, holding each other in silence for a long moment. Finally, Buffy pulled back just enough to look at Spike. She remembered that in her earlier rant she’d let it slip out that she loved him. But that didn’t count, not in her mind. She needed to tell him. She traced his cheek with her hand, and paused to caress the side of his face.

“Spike, I love you.” She watched as fresh tears sprang to his eyes. “This is so not the way I had this planned. I thought that everything had to be perfect, but now I know that all I needed for this moment to be perfect was you. I love you, and I need you to know that I don’t think any of this is your fault.”

Spike looked at her with more tenderness and understanding than she thought she’d ever seen in his eyes. “Buffy, I love you too. But I guess you already knew that” he smirked. “But I can’t not take some of the blame for what happened.”

Buffy moved over in her hospital bed, making enough room for Spike to lay there beside her and hold her close. They spent the rest of the night talking about everything that had happened. Buffy confided in him her hurt and fears about Conner; she told him how just being around the baby reminded her that she and Spike would never have any babies, and how she didn’t think it was fair that of all vamps, Angel and Darla got to have a baby together. She told Spike about her dreams, and he told her about the one where she came to him and told him she needed him to save her.

They talked until they were too tired to think straight, making their own peace with the events they’d just experienced. After all, they knew that as long as they were ok with each other, then the others would just have to come around. Buffy finally fell asleep, cradled against Spike’s chest. The peroxide-blonde vampire, however, did not sleep. He just watched his slayer in her deep slumber, and counted his blessings on a belated Thanksgiving morning.

TBC...

Chapter 8: Homecoming

Dawn lay awake in her bed and watched out her window as the early morning sky gradually lightened from a dark midnight blue to the warm oranges and pinks of a fall sunrise. She hadn’t really slept at all during the night; mostly she’d just lain in her bed and recalled all the horrible things she’d said at the hospital earlier in the evening. Buffy was right. She’d really crossed the line.

Dawn crept down the stairs to the basement, where Angel had been sleeping on their old sofa bed. She was trying to sneak in, making as little noise as possible. She was startled when Angel spoke to her from the near- darkness of the room.

“Come on in, Dawn... we’re awake”

Dawn let out a deep breath that she’d been holding in (in her efforts to be stealthy) and scurried the rest of the way down the stairs. There was a small lamp shining from the little table next to the sofa, and Angel was pacing the room with Connor in his arms.

“I didn’t wake you...did I?”

“No, Dawn, you didn’t. Conner was up for a feeding.”

“Um, Angel, can I talk to you?”

“Well, Dawn, that depends. Did you come down here to finally take your shot at me, or did you need something?”

Dawn sat down on the sofa and started crying again. “Buffy was right- I’ve alienated everyone who cared about me... even you think I’m horrible for all the things I said last night.”

“I’m sorry Dawn. That was a cheap shot. Tell me what you needed to talk about.”

Dawn began tentatively at first, but then let her thoughts flow out as if floodgates had been opened. “I didn’t really sleep at all last night. I just kept laying there in my bed, thinking about all the horrible things I said to everyone. I think I was just scared, you know? I mean, when Spike left and Buffy got hurt I just couldn’t even begin to really think what would happen if we lost her. Then he came back and I knew we weren’t going to loose her, and it was like everything just came crashing down at once- all the feelings I’d been keeping inside came all at once. I just lost control last night at the hospital... when you and Spike started talking about the baby it was just too much. And now- I’m * really * regretting everything I said.”

“Well, Dawn, I can understand what you mean, the last few weeks have been really stressful on everyone. But learning to control your emotional outbursts and consider how other people are feeling is all a part of growing up. Believe me- considering Spike’s feelings in this whole situation has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.”

The atmosphere in the room was getting way too serious, and Dawn tried to think of a way to lighten the mood. A small smile crept onto her face as she said “Wow- Spike was right- you are a big old brooding poof.”

Angel’s eyes snapped up to look at Dawn, a sharp reprimand already on the tip of his tongue. Then he saw her smirking, and heard her barely start to giggle. He smiled, then they both began to laugh, not even considering that they might wake Conner with their laughter.

“Sorry Angel, but I just had to try and lighten the mood- we were getting way too serious, and we should be happy. Buffy’s probably coming home today!”

“So, then, do you feel better?”

“A little, but I still need to make amends with everyone. And I think I have the perfect plan.” Angel listened intently as Dawn filled him in on her plan to make things right.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Buffy’s eyes fluttered open and squinted against the early morning sunlight streaming through her hospital blinds. She woke with the feeling of strong arms holding her tight, and she felt safer than she had in weeks. As Buffy turned her head to the side, she found herself gazing into the face of the man she truly loved.

Spike shifted his arms around Buffy to allow her to turn to face him, but refused to let her go. He smiled at her as she yawned and rubbed her sleepy eyes. “You know, pet, I think I could hold you like this forever.”

“You wouldn’t hear any arguments from me.” Buffy smiled back at him and gently traced the outline of his defined cheekbones. She realized that she’d never seen him look so tired before. He looked as if he’d been carrying the weight of the world all by himself. Worry began to crease her forehead as she contemplated what could be bothering him.

“Spike, don’t take this the wrong way, sweetie, but you look like crap.” His eyes fell, loosing contact with hers as he started to stare uncomfortably at his hands. “Did you sleep at all last night?”

“Um, no, not really.”

“When’s the last time you ate something, other than what you steal from my dinner tray?”

“Can’t really say I remember.”

“I’m going to call Willow and have her bring you something to eat. She can stop by the house raid your stash in our fridge, since we can’t exactly sneak down to the blood bank and steal some dinner for you.” She held her hand up to silence him when she saw that he was going to protest, and then continued. “Don’t argue with me Spike, I do not want to have to worry about you withering away. I plan on having you by my side for a long, long time.”

Spike looked back up at her, and a small smile formed on his lips. He leaned in and kissed her lightly. “Buffy, you don’t have to worry about me going anywhere. You’ve got me forever.” He winked at her. She smiled and snuggled into his embrace as she picked up the phone to call Willow.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Angel hung up the phone at the Summers home, and called up the stairs to Dawn. She came running down the stairs, and asked who was on the phone.

“It was Buffy. She said that her doctor just saw her and is releasing her from the hospital. Spike is going to bring her home later this afternoon. Looks like your plan just might work after all, Dawn.”

“Great! Well then I have some more phone calls to make. I’ve already called Xander and Willow, and I have to make a few last minute calls for my arrangements. I’ll call Giles at his hotel and see if he can take me to pick everything up.”

“O.k. Dawn. Good luck. I’m going to take a nap, just let me know when you’re leaving.”

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Buffy glanced over at Spike while she chatted with Willow. He was quietly sipping his “lunch” through a straw in the thermos Willow brought from Buffy’s house. She smiled at him and continued chatting with Willow.

“Will, thank you so much for coming. I hated to ask you to go by the house after everything Dawn said last night.”

“It’s ok, Buffy. Besides, Dawn wasn’t even there. Angel and Conner were the only ones there... he said that Dawn had gone out with Giles to run some errands.”

“You know, I’m really glad that the doctor said I could go home today. Maybe I’ll get a chance to have some time to visit with Giles. I know that he was too upset to come to the hospital much while I was...well, anyway, I’ll just be glad to have some time with him.”

“Oh, Buffy I’m sure that he’ll be glad to visit with you too.”

Both girls giggled when their dialogue was interrupted by a slurping sound from across the room. Buffy could have sworn that Spike would have blushed if he’d been capable of it. “Ah...sorry ladies. I guess I was hungrier than I thought. Thanks for bringing my lunch, Red.”

“No problem, Spike. Well, guys, I think I’m going to head on out. I’ll see you later at home, Buffy. We’re all so glad that you’re getting out of the hospital today!”

Willow hugged her best friend and made her way to the door. Buffy motioned for Spike to come back and sit with her. As he crossed the room, he noticed that she seemed a little bit anxious.

“Luv, you’re awfully fidgety, is something wrong?”

“No, Spike, I’m just ready to get out of here. Will you start packing up my things so that I can leave as soon as the doctor comes by with my release forms?”

“Sure thing, pet. You sure nothing else is on your mind?” Spike asked as he went gathered Buffy’s things and put them in her small duffel bag.

Buffy knew that she wouldn’t be able to convince him that nothing was bothering her, so she decided to just go ahead and spill her thoughts. “I’m just worried about what I’m going to do with Dawn. I mean, she said some pretty terrible things last night to everyone, and I just don’t know how I’m going to get her to see what she did was wrong. Plus, you know that the whole Scooby gang is going to want to come over tonight after I’m home, and I just don’t want there to be unnecessary tension because my little sister hasn’t learned to keep her mouth shut.”

“Buffy, I think you give Dawn far too little credit. I’m sure that she already knows that she shouldn’t have said that things she did to everyone last night. And if I know my Nibblet, she’s probably already working on a way to make it up to everyone.”

Just then, there was a soft knock on the door and the doctor entered the room. “Well, Buffy, everything appears to be in order for your release. All I need is your signature on these forms, and you’ll be free to go.”

Buffy signed the forms and got up from her bed to leave. The doctor eyed her warily, and said, “A nurse will be here in a moment with a wheelchair to take you downstairs.”

Buffy looked at the doctor as if he’d grown a second head, and Spike had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing at her response. “WHAT? I am * so* not riding to the car in a wheelchair! I’m perfectly capable of walking!”

“But, Buffy, it’s hospital policy.” The doctor could see that it was no use trying to talk her into it, so he conceded “But I suppose I could bend the rules for you just this once.”

Buffy smiled and thanked him. She then looked at Spike and took his hand in hers. “Ready to take me home, Spike?”

“More than you know, luv... more than you know”

The two blondes left the hospital and walked out to Spike’s car. Buffy giggled, and Spike smiled as if her laugh was music to his ears. “What’s so funny, Buffy?”

“I was just thinking, we should be thankful for covered parking decks, other wise the sunshine would’ve kept us in that dreadful hospital room for the rest of the afternoon.”

“I didn’t even think of that. Well, I’ve got my blanket for when we get home, so we won’t be stuck in the car for hours.”

“Are you sure we won’t have to be stuck in the car all alone for a while before we get home?” Buffy said seductively. Spike simply smirked at her as he opened her door and helped her into the Desoto.

+ + + + + + + + + + + +

Willow arrived at the Summers house shortly after leaving the hospital. She found Dawn, Giles and Angel in the kitchen, preparing dinner for everyone.

“Wow, Dawnie, everything looks amazing. Buffy and Spike will probably be here in a couple of hours, she was just waiting for the doctor to bring her release papers when I left them at the hospital.”

“Ok...I hope everything will be done by then!” Dawn sounded flustered. She then looked from Willow to Angel nervously. “Um, Angel, could you watch this stuff for a minute, I need to talk to Willow, if that’s ok with her....”

“Sure, Giles and I can take care of things in here, Dawn, you go chat with Willow.”

Willow followed Dawn into the living room, and the two girls sat next to each other on the sofa.

“Willow, I am so sorry for being so mean to you last night. I don’t really know what came over me. But you have always been such a great friend to me, never treated me like a little kid or even like a freak during that whole “key” episode. I can’t even stand to think that I’ve ruined that by acting so childish. Will you please forgive me?”

“Oh, Dawnie, of course I’ll forgive you. You’re one of the most special people to me. I know that the last few weeks have been hard on all of us. You just needed to vent some of your frustrations, but you’ve got to realize that there’s a time and place to do so.”

Dawn sighed, “I know, Angel already gave me the “time-and-place” lecture.”

Willow smiled. “Well, I hope he wasn’t too hard on you.” She leaned over to hug Dawn. “After everything we’ve been though, it would be pretty hard to make me so mad that I didn’t want to be your friend anymore.”

“Thanks Willow, that means so much. So, you want to come help us set the table?”

Just as the two girls reached the kitchen, the back door opened and Xander, Anya, and Tara came through. “Hey guys!” Dawn said. She turned to Willow, and asked “Maybe you could help Angel and Giles with the table while I go talk to them?”

“Sure thing Dawnie. Take your time.” Willow caught Xander’s eye and gave him her best “resolve-face” look, warning him to take it easy on Dawn.

The four friends settled into the living room to have much the same conversation that Dawn had just had with Willow. After a little while, they all made their way to the kitchen, all a little teary-eyed, though Xander tried to claim that his eyes were watering from the onions being chopped in the kitchen.

+ + + + + + + + + + + +

Outside, Buffy and Spike sat in his car, snuggled up against one another listening to one of Dawn’s mix CD’s she’d made for them. Spike leaned down and kissed the top of Buffy’s head.

“Luv, pretty soon they’re all going to get suspicious as to exactly what we’re doing out here in this car. You know that they know we’re out here.”

“Let them wonder. I just want to enjoy some time with you.”

“Well, no arguments here, but we’ve got all night, and forever, for that matter. I’m sure your mates would like to have a little time with you now that you’re out of that stuffy hospital.”

“Alright then, lets go on in.”

Spike gathered Buffy’s things from the backseat, and they strode hand in hand up the sidewalk to the front door. Something caught Buffy’s eye through the dining room window. It looked like the table was set, and there were candles burning. /Nah, it couldn’t be/ she thought to herself. /I mean, why would they have gone to all this trouble?/

Spike opened the front door and he and Buffy were met with big hugs from Dawn as they entered the house. “They’re here, everyone!! Buffy, I’m so glad you are home!” Dawn squealed as she held her sister and Spike in a tight group-hug.

“Well, I’m certainly glad to be home, Dawnie. What’s going on?”

“Just a little surprise that we cooked up for you. And before you say anything, I want to sit down and have a nice long chat with you and Spike later on about what I said at the hospital last night. But right now we all want you to come into the dining room and see your surprise.”

“Ok....”Buffy said.

Spike leaned over to whisper to Buffy “See, pet, I told you she’d realize what she’d done and try her best to make it right.”

Fresh tears sprang to Buffy’s eyes when she entered the dining room. The table had been set with her mother’s good china, and on the buffet was the makings of a complete Thanksgiving dinner: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie... it was more food than Buffy could have even imagined having at the dinner she’d planned weeks before. She just stood there, slack jawed, not knowing what to say. Giles stepped forward to explain:

“We all knew how important it was to you to have a great Thanksgiving dinner with your family and friends, Buffy, and Dawn wanted to make sure that it happened. So we all helped her put this surprise together for you.”

Tears were falling down the Slayers face now, and she was looking around the room at each of her friends- no, her family- and smiling at each of them. “You guys, this is perfect. Thank you so much.”

“Well, don’t just stand there” Dawn started “Let’s all sit down and have dinner!”

As the group was enjoying their dinner, Anya said “Are we still going to do the traditional thing where we all say something we are thankful for? Because I think we should, since it’s a tradition, we should do it.”

Everyone laughed a little at Anya’s insistence on following tradition, and each of the Scoobies took their turn saying something they were thankful for that year.

+ + + + + + + + + + +

Later that night, Buffy remembered the journal she was going to give Spike weeks ago, on the real Thanksgiving. She sat down on the edge of her bed, and looked at Spike, who was already under the covers waiting for her.

“Spike, do you still have that letter that I wrote, the one that I was going to read to you on Thanksgiving?”

“You mean the one that I misunderstood, and ran away because of? The one that proves what a stupid git I am?” He looked away from her. “Yeah, I still have it.”

“Good.” Buffy said, and reached into the top drawer of her nightstand. “Because I want you to always keep it, along with this.” She handed him a little book, covered with suns and moons on a dark blue background.

“What is this, Buffy?”

“It’s my journal. I started writing in it just after we got together, and I want you to have it. So you’ll always have a reminder of how I feel about you, how much I love you, how thankful I am for you.”

It was Spikes turn to be teary-eyed. Buffy slipped under the covers with him, as he gently placed the journal back on her nightstand. “Thank you. I will cherish it always. Plus,” he added saucily “I’ll look forward to reading all the naughty thoughts you had about me.”

“Spike!” Buffy yelped as he grabbed her. Any other coherent thoughts melted away as he started kissing her.

“I’ve missed this, Buffy, the feeling of kissing you and knowing you’re safe in my arms.”

“Me too Spike. You know, we’ve got a lot of time to make up for....”

“Right then. Well then I think it’s high time we started catching up, then.”

He caught her in a gentle, yet passionate kiss, and the two spent the rest of the night making up for the time they were apart.



The End :)