Buffy strained against the restraints that had her arms pinned into a rock wall. Her struggles were met with a resistance that was unforgiving and unyielding yet she kept on trying. Suddenly a bodyless voice echoed in the cave she was in.

"What if I could give you what you wanted?"

"Whatever it is you're offering, I don't want it." Buffy defied, still struggling.

"Even if it is to finally rid yourself of someone who has been your enemy for years?"

Buffy crinkled her nose with confusion. Then suddenly her question was answered. Two large demons with scaly skin and humped shoulders dragged a resisting Spike into the room with her. A third entered and turned to face him. It then looked over to its left and examined a flat rock surface. She followed its gaze and saw several knives, a bottle of what looked like a clear fluid, a cross and lastly one long, pointed stake.

Spike saw her there and struggled even harder to get free.

"Buffy, I'm sorry, this is all my fault…" Spike said.

Buffy was still confused, "What -"

"LET HER GO!" Spike yelled. "It's me you want!"

"And we will get to you, believe me, but we sense something in the Slayer, just as we sensed something in you…feelings. This intrigues us."

Buffy gasped. Could this being really know her feelings? Read her mind, maybe? It scared her to think that a demon could enter her mind and hold anything against her like her mom. It was unnerving and frightening.

"Spike, what is happening here? Last I remember I was knocked out."

"Please forgive me. I didn't mean for this to happen. I was stupid. I was -" Spike stopped, unable to find the right words.

"Slayer, we sense something in you, but cannot understand it. Maybe you can explain."

"I'm not explaining anything to you, now let us go."

“You have fire, passion, we feel that, but we want to understand why.”

“I’m not telling you anything so you’re not going to get what you want. Maybe if you let us go now, I won’t kick your ass!” Buffy asserted.

Spike looked up and marveled that even after confessing that what was happening was his doing, she still wanted him freed. It tore at him even more to think that his feelings had caused this.

"I think you underestimate us. We will get what we want." The voice said. "Proceed."

The two demons, who were holding Spike, pulled his hands against the rock wall and the third one took a knife from the rock table and began its swing toward one of them.

Buffy’s eyes widened as she realized what was going to happen and screamed, "NO! DON'T!"

But it was too late. The knife penetrated Spike's left hand and he screamed in agony, then only moments later, another knife was plunged into the other hand. A second scream came from Spike and then all he could do was groan. Buffy was shocked and sickened by the sight of Spike's mock crucifixion against the wall.

“We sense your compassion for this vampire. Your enemy. It defies our understanding. We must find out why. It goes against nature. If you don’t tell us, we will keep torturing him until you do.”

"All right, just stop hurting him." Buffy said resigned. She couldn’t let the torture go on.

"What do you want to know?"

"No, Buffy…" Spike breathed raggedly. "Don't…give…in…please…not for…me…I deserve this…for…putting you in danger…Just let them kill me…it will be a release…you’ll be doing the merciful thing."

"Spike, what do you mean? I can't-""

"The reason you are here…these demons, read my feelings, my thoughts…realized I loved you…said it was impossible for me…to…love…a…slayer -"

"Yes." The voice then took over the story. "We were intrigued. We brought you here to question you. We then detected feelings in you when we brought the vampire in, but they are clouded, unclear. All we know is that you feel compassion for him for some reason."

"Don't give in, Buffy. Cloak your feelings. Don't let them in…"

"Silence! Vampire! We will decide what to do with both of you."

As if being commanded by some invisible force, the same demon who plunged the knives into his hands, took another, very ominous looking knife and drew a deep cut across Spike's chest, causing him to writhe and pull against the ones in his hands. All manner of pain surrounded him. Every move caused fire.

"No matter…what…luv…don't tell them anything…Once they know…they will…use it…against you…This…what they are doing to me now…it's nothing…I can…take anything…they dish out…Have had…worse…done to me…Don't let them convince you to take…pity…on…me…I'm a disgusting thing… What they don't know…can't hurt you…"

Buffy was torn with emotion. Spike was telling her to let them torture him, to save herself by saying nothing to stop them, to not give them what they wanted to know from her. She didn't know if she could do that and she didn't know whether it was because he was an innocent or because of something more, something deeper. She was afraid of the something more part.

"Spike, I can't…you're being tortured…I can't just let them do that to you." Buffy said sincerely.

"You…have to…the other…is worse…I'm not…worth…saving …keep reminding yourself of…who…and…what I am…"

The demon then threw the clear fluid into his wound and Spike screamed so loudly, it cut into her heart. She then realized that it had been holy water. The burns ate away his flesh exposing more of his wound. Spike's breathing became shallow, yet she saw defiance in his eyes. It filled her with pain, but also with pride. He was daring them to inflict the torture and amazing them with his fortitude and endurance.

"Do your…bloody worst, you…ponce…you bastard…is that the…best…you…got?" Spike tried to laugh, but it came out pained.

"Oh, there is more to come, vampire…you will be begging for death by the time I am done."

"Wanna bet on that?" Spike said, as he smirked. "Leave her alone. You want something? Take it from me. She doesn't have…anything…you want…"

"You are in no position to bargain with me."

Buffy watched the conversation as she worked her bonds. She felt her wrists chaff against the metal cuffs, but she also felt them slipping. If only Spike could keep distracting the voice. He looked her way for a second and she threw him a look, telling him that she was almost free. He understood completely and mustered what remained of his strength. He just had to keep the demon occupied so that she had a chance

"You are a bloody wanker…you…you…know my feelings…" Spike said, resigned to his fate, but buoyed by the thought that Buffy would escape. "You…know…I love…the…Slayer…what more do you want?"

"I want to know if she feels the same."

Spike laughed maniacally, causing ripples of pain, but he bit back crying out. "Is…that…all? Well, I can…tell you…she hates me…I'm a blight…I'm nothing to her…I'm just something she…kills nightly…nothing more."

Buffy looked over at him and saw the pain that went beyond the wounds. It went deeper. It went straight to his unbeating heart.

"But the compassion -."

"It’s within…her…unique…and beautiful nature to feel compassion…she's unlike any slayer ever born…even after all I have done to…her…to her friends, to her family…she… would still …try to save…me…because her compassion…could let her do…no…less…why do you…think I love…her…so much…As vile a monster as I am…she feels compassion for me…" Spike said as he grunted through his pain.

Buffy listened to his words and was stunned speechless. Her heart welled up for him. She was then shaken from her thoughts by another scream.

The demon torturer had plunged another knife into him and then to top it off, it twisted and pulled the blade out with a pain blinding force. Spike just squeezed his eyes shut, stiffened, and groaned loudly. He started coughing blood only causing his body to wince and tremble with the radiating pain. Buffy was on the verge of crying. It killed her to stay silent. Her eyes pooled with tears as she looked at him. Sensing her wavering resolve, he shook his head as insistently as he could and mouthed the word, "don't".

"Bugger… You're a prancing…lightweight…I've been tortured by…better than…than…you." His body seized and stiffened with pain again. "Mmmm…what else you got? Hell, my ex could do better -"

The cross was lifted and then seared into his chest. He could only muster a moan as his breathing became more ragged.

Buffy felt her right hand go free and she frantically worked the left, feeling the cuts and abrasions the struggle was causing. It then finally slipped free.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" She yelled as she grabbed the demon torturer's head and twisted it until its neck snapped.

She took two more knives from the rock slab and plunged them into the remaining demons before they had time to react. She then put her hands on the knives that impaled Spike to the wall, but before she pulled them, she looked in his eyes.

"Spike, this is going to hurt. I'm sorry." She said sadly, but never averting her eyes from his.

He shook his head, "Go…while…you…can …I'll just…hold…you…back."

"I'm not leaving without you, now get ready." She said.

He smiled weakly and nodded his head in understanding as well as in permission, telling her that he was ready. She then suddenly felt drawn to kiss him as she yanked them out.

She pulled the knives out as quickly as she could. Spike's scream was lovingly suffocated by her kiss. He sagged against the wall and could only look at her, awestruck at what she was doing. She was sacrificing her safety to save him.

"Thanks for the party. It’s been so not fun. Gotta go. Past my curfew." She said to the voice.

She lifted Spike up and supported him out of the cave. No other demons appeared to stop her as they made their way out and into the cool, night air. After a while of half running and half walking, she laid Spike down to rest against a tree. They seemed to be safe for now.

"Spike, are you okay?" She asked as a tugging concern pulled at her. He had been so quiet, not even so much as a moan came from him.

His eyes opened slowly, his breathing slow and still very raggged.

"Buffy?" He asked not understanding where they were. "Wh…? What…happened?"

"We escaped. I think we're safe for now."

"You can't…stay…luv. He might…come…back…for you."

"I won't leave you here. Just rest for now and I'll scout around."

Spike's hand reached out weakly to hold her arm.

"I appreciate…w…what you are doing, but…you have…you have…to leave…me…this…demon …too…dangerous…'sides…my fault that you're…involved…don't…deserve…saving."

"Did you call this demon to do me harm?" Buffy asked softly without accusation.

"No…I could…I…would…never…b...but-" Spike panted from the pain.

"Then it isn't your fault. Maybe wrong place, wrong time, but still, not your fault…" Buffy insisted.

"My feelings…they…betrayed you… "

"So, you're open with your feelings. Nothing wrong with that either, in fact…I envy it…" Buffy admitted hesitantly as she looked away for a moment. “What you said back there –“

“I know it’s wrong…of me to feel this way…and that it disgusts you, but I…can’t…”

“No, it’s not…not really. I guess I’m just not used to undying devotion…when I fall in love…they either turn evil or they leave or worse yet, they do both…I don’t seem to bring out the best in -”

“No, luv, you can’t let…what happened with Angel…with any of them make you think it’s your fault… it’s not…you…they’re leaving…pet…believe that if nothing else… they don’t feel…deserving…just like I don’t…”

“Why bother loving me if…” Buffy bowed her head.

“Because you…you…are so easy to…love…unh…” Spike stiffened with pain again.

“I am?” Buffy said, her insecurity bubbling to the surface.

“Bloody…yes…never…doubt that…Your power…your kindness…your strength…not the least of which, your beauty…all draw love to you…you bring it out…not chase it away…”

She looked into his eyes and found the deep sincerity of his words in them.

"Buffy…don’t…stake…me…for…asking, but…did you…kiss…me…or was my mind playin'…"

Buffy bowed her head at first then looked back up into his eyes and nodded.

"I was hoping it would take your mind off of the pain when I pulled the knives out, but it was more than that."

Buffy stopped to think how to word her next sentence, but Spike stopped her.

"…Don't…have…to say anything…you'll…probably regret…later…it's enough…that you cared…unh…" Spike grunted in pain and fisted the ground, needing something to squeeze, but finding no purchase.

"Spike, what's wrong? Oh my god, I shouldn't have wasted time getting you help." She said as she rose up.

"Buf…Buffy …it's nothing…It'll pass…"

Buffy wasn't convinced as she watched Spike clench his bloodied hands.

"I have to get you some help."

"No…just go…leave me here…get to your friends and…and …"Spike said, struggling with more waves of pain.

"I'm not going to leave you here like this."

"I'm…ripped…to…shreds…lost…a lot of…blood…" Spike uttered breathlessly. "The healing…it's going to be…long…painful. "

"Then I have to help you." Buffy insisted. "You're not going to change my mind so you might as well accept it."

Spike could only pant and nod his head.

"There's an abandoned mine shaft not far from here. There's no risk of sunlight and it's not connected to any of the caves or the sewers. Do you think you can walk just a little farther?"

He nodded again and tried to lift himself up with difficulty, using the tree as leverage, but Buffy swooped in to hold him up.

**

When they got to the mineshaft, Buffy found a small niche that they could stay in comfortably without being seen. She put Spike down gently and took off her coat so that he could use it as a pillow.

"Are you comfortable?" She asked.

"Yes…" Spike replied.

"I think we'll be all right here. I'll sneak off later tonight to get you blood. Can you hang on until then?"

"I think so…"

Buffy nodded and took his bloodied hand into hers. He winced.

"Sorry…" Buffy said guiltily as she started to let it go. "I don't want to make it worse."

Spike reclaimed her hand before it could slip away and then closed his fingers around it weakly.

"You're not… " He paused as he looked into her eyes. “You…make…it better…”

Buffy averted her eyes in embarrassment as she caught the glimpse of devotion in his.

"Is there anything else I can do?"

"No…nothing…you should…rest…too…"

"I can't sleep. My slayer sense is working overtime."

Spike spasmed with pain and his grip tightened around her hand.

"I feel so helpless." She said, seeing his pain.

“You’re helping more than you know…just by being here…” He winced again. ”Just being here makes it easier…”

“Spike, rest. Get some sleep.”

"Sleep won't come until …more…healing…happens…the downside to being…a vampire…healing…is…painful…" He smiled shakily. “Been through worse …Most people don’t know it, but…even vampires…need comfort…the healing…is better with it…Your comfort…your touch…it heals…Most of the time…I’ve been …alone…”

“What about Drusilla? Didn’t she-”

“She loved inflicting pain, pet…that’s what she did best…felt her wrath…more than once…no compassion in her…to give…comfort.”

"I'm sorry…"

"Nothing…for you…to be sorry…for, luv…you didn't…do this…"

"I'm sorry about something else…"

"What's that, then?"

Buffy found herself stroking Spike's wounded hand.

"For not telling you the truth." She paused. "That demon, when you told me that it read thoughts, I was less scared about what would happen to us than I was about you finding out…never mind…I'm pathetic."

"No…you're…not, luv…you don't have…to…to say…anything…"

"No, I should say this…Lately, I've been thinking a lot about when you told me you loved me and…I have to be honest. I was disgusted at first, but then…I couldn't stop thinking about it and all you have done to help me…Let’s face it, you saved my ass a lot…” Buffy paused. “When I thought you were going to die back there… something inside of me…I don't know how to describe it… I started to ache. The thought of you dying…it hurt, it scared me."

Spike listened intently and didn't push her. Another sudden rush of pain hit him though and he couldn't help, but squeeze her hand again and that stopped her thoughts.

"Spike? Are you all right?" Buffy asked, her voice cracking with concern.

"Don’t worry, pet…this is…what it’s…like…I’m used to it…” Spike stiffened and he clenched his eyes closed. His breathing labored.

"Spike, I've got to get you some blood."

"Mmmm…” He nodded and licked his lips. “It might help…”

"I won't be long. Are you sure you are going to be all right?" Buffy softened.

“Yes…don’t…w…” Spike groaned again.

Spike let her hand go and his dropped limply by his side. He closed his eyes, but still breathed raggedly.

"I'll be back, Spike. I promise."

Buffy then ran out of the shaft.

**

When Buffy returned, she found Spike looking asleep though it unsettled her that he didn’t breathe because she couldn’t tell how he was.

Spike sensed her and opened his eyes. He smiled at her weakly.

"Buffy…" He said, his voice, a raspy whisper.

He was looking paler than he usually did, if that was possible, but he also looked drawn with dark circles under his eyes. Just like he did at Thanksgiving after having not fed.

"I have some blood and blankets.” She said as she ripped the bag open slightly to pour the blood into a cup. "Sorry it's cold and in a cup."

"'S all right, luv…it will do just fine…thank you…"

Buffy just nodded as he drank then wrapped him with one of the blankets. She looked at his wounds and they didn’t seem any better.

“How are you feeling?”

“Weak…tired…”

“Are you still having pain?’’

“Mmm hmmm, still strong…” Spike flinched as he tried to sit up.

“Don't move, Spike. Does the healing usually take this long?"

“Sometimes, it depends on…the injuries…”

“Have you been able to sleep?”

Spike shook his head, “Not yet, but…the…blood…should help…thank you again, pet.”

“I wish I could more.” Buffy said tentatively.

“You’re doing…more…than you have…to…you can leave, you know…I’ll be fine now…I’ll be safe here until I'm back on my feet again.”

“Do you want me to go? Am I getting too clingy?” Buffy said, hating that she sounded like a teenager.

“No, Buffy, I don’t want you to go, but –“ He threw his head back and dropped the cup of blood. He clenched his fists into the dirt again as pain riddled through him.

Buffy instinctively grabbed one of his hands and held on to it as well as against her cheek. She felt him grab on, waiting for the pain to subside. Once it did, she got the cup and refilled it with more blood then handed it back to him. He took it with trembling hands. Seeing this, she wrapped hers around his to steady them. He looked at her gratefully and brought the cup to his lips then sipped.

“Spike, back at the cave…did you really mean what you said about compassion?“

”Every word, pet." He said breathlessly. "You…being here…now…helping me…when you…could have…left…had every right…to leave…proves your compassion…”

"Can I ask a dumb question?"

Spike nodded.

"Why?"

"Why, what, luv?"

"Why do you love me?"

Spike looked at her quizzically, not knowing how to answer her. "I'm not sure what you mean…"

"What Drusilla said about loving without a soul…Is that true?"

"I can only…speak for myself…but yes, I love without a soul. I loved…Dru even though…a part of me…knew that she could…never love me in the…same way…"

"What do you mean?"

"She could never be faithful…It's what finally broke us apart…I couldn't take it…anymore…had endured it for a hundred years. When Angel returned as Angelus…she went to him without…a…second thought to me...much as I loved her…I needed her to love me as much back…and she couldn't…not in her…" Spike relayed tiredly. "Then…at the end…she accused me of…being unfaithful to her…her visions were telling her…I was destined to love you…she was right."

"But, Spike, I'm no better than her…I'm worse…I told you I could never love you because you didn't have a soul -"

"No, pet, you were being…honest…Dru professed love, but…didn't know the meaning of the word…I've seen you…you love…just not me you love…I understand…"

"Why continue to love me if you knew I wouldn't return it-" Buffy stopped, her voice choking with tears. "Angel, he said he loved me, but left me anyway. Why did he tell me he loved me, when he clearly didn't -"

"Angel did love you…much as I hate saying that…I don't know why he left…but I can bet…it's because he thought he…couldn't give you…what you deserved…just like…I know I can't…"

Buffy was amazed at Spike's keen observation. When he came back mourning for Dru, he told both her and Angel that they could never be just friends and he'd been right. Angel had been easily seduced by the Mayor's words. They eventually convinced him to let her go, believing he was holding her back and doing the right thing for her. What she realized now is that she let him with only a little bit of a fight. In looking back, maybe she knew it would have to end.

"My guess, Angel didn't want to cause you or him anymore…pain…seeing each other every day, but never being able to truly be together. It would have killed…you both from within and in the end…make you resent each other. It's different for me…I know we can never be together…wasn't meant to be…you don't love me so seeing me wasn't hurting you. Long as I knew I wasn't causing you pain, I could be with you… I'd just be a shadow, watching your back if you needed it, even though most of the time, you don't…you're an elegant fighter, luv…strong…more skillful than you give yourself credit for…I could just sit and watch you fight forever. I knew…all I could ever have was this… it would hurt more…not to see you…not to be with you…everyday… my loving you had nothing…to do with getting it…in return…like it did…with Dru…"

"Shouldn't it though?"

"No…you see, I had it…all…wrong…. love isn't expecting it in return…love shouldn't be expected at all…It's a gift…you give love because it's within you…to give…it…shouldn't be anything more…I learned that from loving you…" Spike stiffened again and squeezed her hand.

Buffy poured more blood into his cup and then helped him drink it. She then cupped his cheek with her hand and looked into his tired eyes.

“Spike, I got it all wrong too. After Angel left, I figured it was because of me. Maybe I really didn't love him enough. Maybe I didn't try that hard to convince him stay-"

"Stop blaming yourself…none of that is true…you loved him fully and you can't make someone…change their mind…'specially someone stubborn as Angel."

She paused and took a deep breath.

"The mayor told Angel that he was being selfish by not letting me go to have a normal life, that Angel had nothing to offer me. He believed him and just like you said, he let me go. He thought he was doing the best thing by leaving. Still, I wanted to have a say in it. He just up and decided without giving me a choice. " Buffy paused. "But even though I was angry at first, tried to make him see that he was wrong, that I needed him and his love more…I also remember giving up a lot quicker than I thought, letting him convince me that it was the right thing. Maybe I knew, too, that it wouldn't work. I don't know, but some times I wonder…"

"No use in regretting, pet…it keeps you from moving on…and Angel was only half right…you do deserve to be happy… but he was wrong in deciding…for you…someone is out there who will make…you happy. I'm sure of that so…don't go doubting that…there is someone who can give you the world..."

"What if I don't want the world? What if all I wanted was someone just to love me for me? Both the Buffy me and the Slayer me? Just to stay with me and not leave?"

Buffy looked into Spike's eyes.

"What if that someone is already here?"

Spike looked at her confused.

"What if he's right here…looking into my eyes like he could see all of me, both bad and good and would still stay? What if I knew he'd never leave me? What if I knew he could make me happy if I only gave him half a chance? Spike, I think…I...oh hell…” Buffy said, frustrated at herself that she couldn't say the words she wanted to.

She slowly drew closer to him. "Spike, I'm terrible with words, but…"

She inched even closer to him. She pecked him lightly on the lips.

“You don’t have to…” Spike started, as he withdrew from her gently, unbelieving of what was happening.

"I know…" Buffy whispered seductively, "I want to…"

He breathed into her and closed his eyes. He felt he must be delirious from the pain, that all of this was a dream, a wonderful hallucination, but then he came back to a shred of sanity and he backed away gently from her again,

"I don't want your pity…I couldn't bear that…"

“It's not that…"

"You don't want this…"

"I so do. I knew you wouldn’t believe me. I wouldn’t believe me if I told me, but I mean it. I don’t know how I can ever make you believe it after all I have done, but I love you, Spike. I do. I know I'm slow, but I've never been so sure about anything in my life.”

Buffy then slowly pressed harder against his lips, not wanting to hurt him, but wanting so much to feel his lips against hers.

Suddenly, Spike convulsed in pain again and she withdrew in fear and uncertainty. He weakly grabbed onto her arm and shook his head.

"Don't leave…not you…" He struggled to say, the pain unbearble, but wanting to reassure her that what was happening wasn't her fault. "Something's wrong…pain is bad…worse than before…not getting better…ggod!"

Spike let her arm go and fisted the dirt again. Buffy snapped out of her initial reaction and grabbed his hand again in comfort.

"Spike, tell me what to do? I'm scared. I don't know what to do!" Buffy said plaintively.

"Must have been poison…on knives…could only explain…not healing as I…should…check my wounds…" Spike continued to struggle through grunts, squeezing his eyes. The pain lingered and didn't seem to be wavering.

She pulled the blankets off of him and gasped at the gaping wound on his chest. It was enflamed and swollen. Spike gathered from her reaction that it was bad.

"Can tell…by…your face …it's not…good…Pain not…leaving…too…I think…I'm…dying…"

Her eyes grew wide with shock, "No, no, you're not. We'll figure out something. I'm not going to lose you now. I'm going to get Giles. He'll know what to do, but I don't want to leave you like this…"

She was torn with anguish and disbelief. How could this be happening?

"I'm a curse…just when I finally figure out I love you…just when I tell you, this happens." She cried, not being able to stop her free fall into hysteria, her veil of control slipping. "Somebody's punishing me…all I do is kill things that love me…"

"No…no…pet…this isn't you…I brought this…on…myself…your love is the only…the only thing that's keeping…me…alive and it will…until you get back…Believe that…you give me life…" Spike, again, trembled and closed his eyes. "But…hurry, luv…"

Buffy squeezed his hand and then kissed him. She then ran out as if it was her life in the balance.

**

When Buffy arrived back at the mineshaft with Giles in tow, Spike was still fighting off pain, breathing rapidly. She ran to his side and held his hand. It immediately gripped hers.

"Buffy…I knew…that you would be back…" Spike said exhausted, but trying to smile through the pain.

"Spike, we have to hurry, I need to get information. Buffy was able to tell me some things, but only you know about the demon itself." Giles interjected quickly.

Spike licked his lips and tried to work through the pain. He was trembling badly and Buffy wrapped the blanket around him again.

"Met it…at Bronze…drunk…lovesick…gabbing on about Buffy…hand rested on shoulder…it spoke…told me…impossible for me to love…a slayer…felt something…like something was entering me…passed out…the rest you know."

"Did you see it?"

Spike nodded and described it to him. Giles hummed agreement and pulled a book out that he had brought with him.

"Between your description and Buffy's of the minions, I think I know what demon did this to you, but I'm afraid, you are right. It injected you with its touch. The poison is incurable. Only the demon can provide the antidote."

"Then I'll get it from him -" Buffy said as she got up.

"No, you can't…"Spike insisted painfully, too weak to grab her. "Tell her, Watcher."

"Spike's right, Buffy. He feeds on emotions like he did with Spike. He could kill you if he got to you."

"I don't care, I have to try. I can't let Spike die. I just can't!"

"Luv, please…don't do this…not worth your life…besides, not sure…can last until you…come back…"

"No, you're wrong, you're strong, you promised me."

"Getting…worse by the…hour…I can barely…hold back the…pain…getting tired…weak."

"No, you can't do this. Giles, please tell me what to do. I can't just sit here and let him die." Buffy was sobbing.

"All I can do is try to find something that might help us create an antidote."

"Then try, please, Giles…I love him. I need him. Please try…" She pleaded.

Giles nodded and left to get more information. She then turned her attention back to Spike. She caressed his face. Her face was streaked with tears.

"I'm here, Spike."

"Buffy, don't leave…me…I don't want to die alone…"

"Don't say that."

"I can feel it…"

"You could be wrong…"

Buffy bent down and kissed him, partly because she had hoped her kisses would ease his pain somehow and partly because she needed to feel him, engrave his touch in case it would be the last time as much as she couldn't bear the thought. He responded weakly, moaning from desire as much as from pain.

"Spike, live for me, if you can. I love you and need you." She said as she kept on kissing him.

Spike's breathing became shallower and he breathed into every kiss she laid upon him.

"If my touch can heal you, let it." She continued."If my love can save you, please let it."

"You know…that I don't want…to…die… but…if I can't…you have…to…bloody hell-"

Spike groaned loudly and arched as the pain riddled through, cutting through him. He didn't think even her love could save him now.

"You have to…promise me." He said as he swallowed with difficulty. "You have to…go…on…living…I want that…for you…you have to do that for me…"

"I…don't know if I can, Spike…I-" Buffy said as her mind rebelled against a life with him.

"Promise me, please…" He pleaded. "Please, for me. I'd be in…hell, for sure, if I…knew you…stopped living…on account of me…please, luv…not worth…your life…please…Buffy. "

"Spike, I-"

"AH! So there you are!"

They both turned to the voice and cringed. A towering demon as Spike had described to Giles stood in the doorway of the mineshaft. Buffy stood up and put herself in between Spike and the demon.

"It took me a while, but I finally found you. I came here to get what I wanted from the Slayer."

"Nnno-" Spike tried to say, but it came out weak.

"I see the poison is working. You will soon be dead and out of my way, vampire. A vampire who loves is a pathetic creature. It sickens me to see you demeaned by a slayer."

"Help him!" Buffy screamed.

"You want to save him, do you? Another paradox. A slayer who cares for a vampire. Some one she is sworn to kill. What would you be willing to give for that miserable vampire's life?"

"Whatever you want!" She spat back at it.

Spike was in agony, not only for what she was doing, but for his helplessness to stop her. She was formidable when he was at full strength. He had no chance in his condition now.

"Buffy, no, no, you can't…" He pleaded.

"Good, good!" The demon bellowed with satisfaction.

"But you have to save him first or you get nothing."

"You are in no position to set the terms. I don't care if I get you before or after he dies."

"Maybe, but you'll get more if you save him."

"More, you say?"

"Yes."

"What do you mean? This piques my interest."

"You'll just have to find out." She dared. "If you think I'm interesting now, save him and you'll get more than you bargained for."

Spike could only lay back. His strength was drifting away and he could barely talk. He wasn't sure that he could convince Buffy out of doing what she was doing anyway. She was stubborn. It was one of the things he loved about her.

"Save him now because if he dies, I promise you that not only won't you get anything from me, but I will torture you worse than you put him through and don't think I won't." She said with a menace that Spike had never heard before in her voice.

The demon also felt the malevolence in her tone and stood up straighter as if to back away.

"Very well." The demon said and placed his hand on Spike's wounds.

Spike screamed in torment. His hands flailed for something to grab on to, but all he got was air, then the pain stopped and he lay still, breathing like he couldn't catch any air into his dead lungs. Buffy, trying desperately to keep her composure and her desire to hold him, bent down to him to make sure he was all right.

"Spike? Are you okay?"

He opened his eyes and all he could do was nod. She then looked at him as she slipped a knife to him, hiding it beneath the blanket. He felt it and smiled weakly at her. She then stood up and faced the demon again.

"What do you want to know?" She asked.

"What are you feelings for this vampire?"

"What do you feel?" She countered.

"Strong emotions. Compassion and something even stronger."

Buffy's eyes were filled with tears and she smiled.

"I was trained to believe that all demons were soulless and that because of that, they had no capacity for love, caring, compassion too. I guess it made killing them easier. The Slayer is no better than any killer. She's a demon of a different breed. I was lucky though. I learned from someone who had more compassion, more of a capacilty for love than any human I have ever met. He taught me that not having a soul doesn't mean you can't love. Look at humans. They all have souls and yet they are capable of things just as bad as any demon. His love was all encompassing, unconditional. You see, that vampire you tortured has more love than any creature I have ever known, including me, he taught me how to love and I love him more than my life. Does that answer your question?"

Then without warning, Buffy lunged at the demon, sending it tettering backwards. Spike, with some of his strength regained, took the knife that she had slipped him and cut across the demon's throat. It crawled back out of the mineshaft, gagging and choking on its blood until it finally went still. Not wanting a Dracula-coming-back-from-the-dead performance, Spike tossed the knife to Buffy where she then severed the head, having no strength to do it himself.

Spike collapsed, feeling emptied of the last amount of adrenaline he had, but the pain was finally gone. He had been cured. Buffy went over to him and hugged him gently. He let her sobs drench his neck, as she could no longer hold back the torrent. He just held her and rocked her in his arms.

"It's all right, luv. It's over. You did it. " He tried to comfort.

"No, you did. I'm just…I almost lost you. I've never been so scared and yet, I've never felt so strong."

"That's love, pet. It makes you both strong and weak, but in all the good ways." He smiled at her.

"How is it easy for you?"

"Loving comes as easy to me as killing, but with you, it comes like an unstoppable torrent. It does drown me, but in a way that's beyond beautiful. It comes to me like a rapture."

"Your love saved me, you know."

"No more than your love, just now saved me. It's what it does. True love is salvation, truth, and so much more. It survives against anything that dares to threaten it."

Buffy kissed Spike longingly then held him against her, never feeling as safe or as strong as she felt in his arms.