Child of Light

Title: Child of Light

Author: Camilla aka Cosmic

Email: bananacosmicgirl@hotmail.com

Rating: R to be on the safe side. Some language/sex/violence, but none more than what you would see on the show, really.

Feedback: I love feedback!!

Distribution: Death Marked Love, ff.net. Anyone else, just ask.

Disclaimers: I don't own the characters in this story, yada, yada, yada.

AN1: Buffy and Spike have been getting closer, and one night things change - in more than one way.

AN2: This is a response to challenge no 23 on Death Marked Love. The challenge will be posted last. It is set somewhere in an imaginary season 6. Buffy died, but she's back. How? I don't know… Have some imagination!

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Part 1

It was odd.

No other word than odd could describe the feeling Buffy Anne Summers had, sitting next to Spike on the couch in her home, watching Mulàn together with her little sister.

"Oh, this song is so pretty," the brunette by the tv exclaimed, referring to the song 'Reflection'. "I have the soundtrack, and on there is a version by Christina Aguilera, but it's not as good."

"Dawn, are you going to watch the movie or just talk all the way through it?"

Dawn glared at her sister but fell quiet. Buffy heard the one vampire in the room chuckle, but ignored him.

It was not the fact that the three of them were sitting there, watching a movie and eating popcorn that was odd really. They could have been any two friends and the little sister, and that would not have been odd. In such a picture, Spike and her would probably have been dating too.

But not in her world.

No, Buffy's world had to be different, of course. She was the Slayer, the Chosen One, and had been so for the last few years. Her sacred duty was to slay the vampires - and anything else dark, scary and demon-y - and to protect the innocents of the world.

Her sister was not her real sister; or maybe she was now, after Glory had been killed, but to begin with, she had been a big mystical blob of energy, called 'the Key'. The only reason she was sitting on the living room floor now was because the Monks had become scared and made the Key human, and then sent it to her in the form of the sister she knew as Dawn. Buffy and all her friends had all been given memories of Dawn, as if she had been there all their lives. Odd would not even begin to describe that.

And then there was Spike. The more than hundred-year-old vampire, who got his name because he had enjoyed putting railroad spikes through people's head in the beginning of his vampire-career, but whom now was neutered after the Initiative had put a chip in his head. A little tiny chip, that sent bolts of electricity through his brain if he ever tried to hurt a human.

Which was why he was here at the moment.

Heading home from patrol together, Buffy and Spike had bumped into some guys - humans - who were just about to rape a drunk girl in one of the many dark alleys of Sunnydale. Buffy had told him not to do anything because they both sensed the boys were human. But then, one of the four guys had started hitting him, Spike had jammed him into the wall, knocking them both unconscious - the boy from slamming his head on the wall, Spike from the chip.

Buffy had easily managed to get the remaining three boys off of the girl, and had helped her back to the street, where a cab conveniently pulled up.

As she walked back to the alley, she noticed Spike, leaning on the wall, clutching his head in his hands. The boys were all gone, but he could hardly move.

"Spike?" she had asked him, and he had looked up at her, his face consorted in pain.

"C'mon, Spike, let's go home." She had taken his hand and they had made their way back to her house. Once they were inside, she had put him on the sofa where he was now lying. Dawn had come down after hearing the two enter and they had decided to watch a movie together to relax.

So, neither the normal family nor friend.

Odd.

But nice.

* * *

Summertime was nice in Sunnydale. Not that the winter was ever all that cold on California's busiest Hellmouth, but it became chilly, and Buffy liked it when she did not have to wear layer upon layer of clothing when out patrolling.

Tonight was a nice night - at least as far as the weather was concerned. The evil undead were still around, and the Slayer had to fight as she did every night. Vampire after vampire was turned to dust, when suddenly she found herself cornered with a big, extremely ugly demon in front of her. He was bleeding on his forehead, where she had kicked him earlier, but he did not let that stop him.

"Gave me quite the match there, Slayer," he growled. "But it's up to no good, because tonight will be your last…"

She broke him of by kneeing him in his privates, grabbing her stake off the ground and pushed it through his heart, all in one fluid motion.

"Sorry, I missed that last part. What were you saying?" she asked as the vampire exploded. She dusted off her jeans when she suddenly heard a familiar voice.

"That took you a while, Slayer," the bleached vampire walked out of the bushes. "Thought I'd have to come an' save you."

"Then why didn't you instead of hiding in the trees like a scared little kitten?" Buffy asked. "You know, if you're gonna be a Scooby, you'll have to act like one."

"Oh but Slayer -"

"Buffy! Not Slayer."

"Slayer, I knew you had it under control. You'd never let some loser like that bite you."

"Whatever Spike. I'm going home; I'm tired."

"But the night is still young," Spike said poetically, holding out his hands and motioning around the quiet cemetery.

"For you, bleach boy. Not for me." She was walking away and he began running after her.

"Slayer -"

"Say good night, Spike," she told him without turning around.

Realizing he would not get any more company out of the blonde Slayer, Spike stopped and replied, "Good night, Spike," to Buffy, who just kept on walking.

* * *

Walking over the graveyard, Spike suddenly heard voices. Actually, it was more like low growling, and it was in a language Spike didn't know, but as he came closer, he saw two big, purplish-colored, ugly demons. Then came another three, but they kept quiet. The three were smaller than the first two, probably shorter than he was, Spike thought. They would be no problem to take out.

Grabbing a small knife he happened to be carrying in his pocket, he attacked.

The three small ones were fast to go. He came up behind them and stabbed the first one in the back without interruption. The other two small ones turned around and began kicking at him as the one Spike had just stabbed died on the ground underneath him. The little ones only reached Spike to his shoulder, and no kicks reached higher than his chest. Spike grabbed a foot as the one kicked, and threw him around. He landed on the ground with a thud, and Spike jammed the knife into its back, killing the creature.

Ahead of them, the two bigger demons were noticing him. They had begun digging in the ground, but put down their shovels as they heard the fight.

"Hey, what you doin'?" the tallest one asked, walking over to Spike. He punched Spike in the face, hard, landing Spike on the ground several feet away. He groaned but got up. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw one of the shovels the demons had been digging with, lying on the ground. He leaped up and grabbed the shovel before the demons knew what was happening. Spike hit the third little one to the ground with the shovel, as he was in the way between him and the big ones, and set the knife into its back.

The two big ones left.

He ran forward, swaying the shovel back and forth, and he managed to cut one deep in the arm, making blue blood zip out of it, slowly down the demons arm. Unfortunately, this did not kill the demon; it only made him angrier.

He saw the fifth and last one come up from his side, a knife in his hand too. He leaped forward and Spike jumped back, but not quickly enough. The demon managed to cut him right over his chest, making him scream in pain. Then he instantly recollected himself and threw the shovel in the demon's head, throwing him to the ground and cutting him in the back.

One left.

Spike picked up the shovel quickly and proceeded towards it. But the demon was faster as it threw itself at him, pinning him to the ground and grinning an all-evil smile. It leaned forward, its scarred skin looking a sick shade of blue and a row of yellow teeth showing.

"Shouldn't mess with me," it said and took the shovel out of Spike's hand. It held it above Spike's throat and was just going to separate his head from his body when Spike kicked the demon in its stomach. Then he reached out and set the knife through his back, at the same time as he, with the other hand, pushed the shovel off his throat.

The demon gurgled and then fell down over Spike. Spike screamed in pain as the demon's blood began zippering down into his chest-wound, and with his last powers, Spike pushed the dead demon off his chest, then he lost consciousness.

TBC…

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Part 2

Buffy had heard noise as she was walking home, and she could feel something odd in the air. Slayer sense was always handy to have she thought, as she tiredly walked back onto the cemetery. It was when she heard Spike scream that her blood froze and she began running.

She was running among the tombs, trying to find the bleached vampire - and she thanked god that he was bleached when she saw his shining white hair on the ground a few feet away, because had his hair not been platinum white, she might not have spotted him.

"Spike!"

She landed on the ground next to him and shook him lightly.

"Spike!"

She noticed how much blood he had lost; it was everywhere. She also saw the big ugly demon beside him, and she knew that it was good for it that it was dead, because otherwise she would have killed it in the most painful way possible.

Suddenly, Spike moaned and Buffy's thoughts went back to him. He opened his eyes and stared up at her, confusion written on his face.

"Slay'r?" he asked, slurring a little.

"Yeah, it's me… What happened Spike?" she asked, although she knew the answer. "No, don't tell me, let's just get out of here before some vampires come looking for an easy meal."

"U-hu…"

She helped him stand, arm around his back. He swayed, but stood. Then they began their walk back home.

"Crypt's that way…" Spike muttered as Buffy brought him on the street leading to her house.

"You really think I'm gonna dump you there when you look like that?"

He looked at her, one eyebrow raised. He really thought she would.

"Oh shut up," Buffy muttered, although he had not said anything.

The fates seemed to give them a break for once, for nothing attacked them in the hour it took for the duo to get home. Once inside the house, Spike collapsed on the hallway floor.

"Spike, what's up?" Buffy asked worriedly. "I've never seen you like this before."

"It bloody hurts Slayer!" he roared, seemingly in such pain that it was causing his eyes to tear.

She helped him up to her room on the second floor, because she would not leave him on the sofa in his condition. Instead, she put him in her bed and pulled off his shoes. He was asleep by the time she was done. Deciding that she should clean off his wounds, she pulled the first aid kit out of the bathroom cabinet, and sat down next to him.

The gash across his chest looked bad. Purple demon-blood was mixed with Spike's deep red, and Buffy cleaned it as much as she could. The scratches on his face and arms were already beginning to fade and Buffy ignored those, knowing that pouring disinfecting liquid into them would only slow the healing process down.

When she was done, she laid down next to him, falling asleep within minutes.

* * *

Spike woke up feeling out of place. Not only was he lying on a soft bed; he also had the slayer whom he loved above everything else right next to him. She was sleeping, one arm around him. It was still dark outside, so it had to be early. Looking over at the alarm clock, this was confirmed. 4:28.

Spike looked down at himself. The wounds he had gotten earlier that night were gone, thanks to the vampiric healing. His shirt was still soaked in blood, but he did not care. Right where he was lying that moment was his heaven.

She moved.

Oh no, not good. The slayer would stake him good and proper if she woke up like this.

"Spike…" Buffy mumbled.

"Yes love?" Spike said in a nervous voice, before realizing that she was dreaming. She was moving around, pulling her leg up and down along his side, moaning. Spike felt himself harden at the petite Slayer's movement, and had to work hard to not moan himself.

"Oh Spike that feels good… mm…" she mumbled, moving her head closer to him so that her lips were almost touching him.

"Slayer?" he whimpered quietly, because if he did not wake her up right then, he did not know how it was going to end.

Slowly she opened her eyes, and she smiled when she saw him. "Spike," she breathed. She did not move away. No, instead she was eyeing him, and it was not long before she noticed the bulge between his legs.

"Spike, did I… um… do… something when I was… sleeping?" she asked, her face reddening.

"Nothing that I didn't like, love," Spike replied with a cocky grin.

Oh god how cute he looked, she thought. All manly. Oh yes, definitely manly. She remembered how good it had felt in her dream, where she and Spike had been making love. Weird dream, but definitely a great one.

Suddenly, she found herself crushing her lips down onto Spike's.

It felt even better than in the dream.

He wrapped his arms around her, and she rolled on top of him and began exploring his hard body with her hands. Then he broke the kiss.

"Buffy, is this really what you want?" Spike asked, looking up at her.

"What, you don't want it?"

"Oh Slayer you know I do, but I want you to be sure. You do this and there is no going back, you know."

"I'm sure…" Buffy said and lowered to another kiss. His hands roamed over her body, and before she knew it, the only thing existing in her world was him and how good he made her feel.

* * *

"Buffy, I have to get home. It's getting light outside."

She looked over at him, pouting. "Stay," she said.

"Love, the li'l bit is coming home at any second. Wouldn't want her to find me here, now would we?"

"I don't care," Buffy continued to pout.

He looked at her, and she sighed. "Fine. I'm gonna go down and get some breakfast made, you can get dressed." She stood up, put her pajamas on again and disappeared down the stairs.

Spike was lying, hands behind his head on the bed, thinking of the sex they had just had. It had been absolutely bloody marvelous, no doubt about it. He could not really believe it. The petite slayer had finally given in. Why? He had not got a clue. He just hoped that she would not come to her senses all of a sudden, and realize that it had all been a mistake. He hoped -

Suddenly, a wave of nausea swept over him.

Bloody hell!

He sat up, feet on the floor, one hand around his stomach and the other one by his head. It was like a new feeling to him; he had not been feeling sick in over a century.

Finally thinking the worst was over, he stood up.

Mistake.

Another wave, this one stronger than the last, came rolling over him. His head was spinning as he did the only think he could think of - he ran to the bathroom.

* * *

Buffy heard the odd noises from upstairs and called, "Spike? You okay?"

When no one answered, she ran up the stairs only to be met by the unmistakable sound of someone throwing up, then the toilet flushing.

The door to the bathroom was closed but not locked and she peered in to find Spike, sitting on the floor, looking up at her with scared eyes. His face was pale, almost gray, his hair tousled.

"What is happening to me?" he asked in a voice that was smaller than she would have possible for the former Big Bad. She kneeled in front of him, both concerned and afraid for him.

"I don't know, Spike, but we are going to find out. C'mon." She took his hands and began helping him up, when his body suddenly erupted in trembles. He was shaking so hard he could hardly walk. Buffy could see Spike struggle against himself from the expressions on his face. Fright stood out most of all when he opened his eyes, ones now yellow.

"I can't control it," he whispered, obviously fighting the demon within. "Get me out… aarg!"

He jumped at her in a fierce attack, the chip in his brain only contributing more anger and confusion to the already pain contorted face.

He ran down the stairs in a cat-like way, then pulled the door open so hard it cracked. Outside, the sun still had not risen above the house roofs, which was lucky for the raging vampire, who just ran out.

"Spike!" she screamed after him as he jumped onto his stolen motorbike and fly down the street with a roar. She ran after him, only to have him disappear around a corner.

Sobbing, she fell to the ground.

TBC…

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Part 3

It had been three days since Spike had stormed out of Buffy's house - and seemingly out of her life - and she still had no idea of where he was. She had gotten a note saying, "Don't seek me out." and although the note had not been signed, she knew it was from him.

She felt like crying all day and all night long. Everything that had happened - it was the Angel slash Angelus deal, all over again.

* * *

"Here we go again…"

Buffy threw herself down by the toilet and threw up, letting everything she had just eaten out.

"Oh god…" she muttered, wiping the sweat drops off her forehead and washing her mouth with some water.

Head in her hands, she sat down on the toilet.

This was the fourth time in as many days that she was in the bathroom, throwing up like a sick child. She could not really understand it; the Slayer healing should handle any illness that might come over her. Besides, other than the throwing up she did not feel bad. Her body just felt different, for some reason. And her breasts were hurting a little.

Oh god.

Suddenly, she knew exactly what was wrong with her. Only, it could not be. No way. She had not… Not with anyone but Spike at least, and that was impossible, because he was a vampire, and Angel had told her that vampires could not father children - at least not the 'normal' way.

But inside, she knew.

She was pregnant.

* * *

"Will, I need you to do something for me."

Buffy had just run over to her best friend's dorm room, knocked on the door and by the time she was inside and sitting down, she felt like throwing up again.

"What is it, Buff?" Willow Rosenburg asked.

"I need you to do a spell," Buffy told her. "A locator spell. For Spike. I need to find him. You can do that, right, I mean that's what you do with your magic, isn't it? You've done it before," Buffy rambled nervously.

"Yeah, I can, b-but didn't he tell you not to look for him?" The redhead looked at the Slayer, wondering why it was so important to find the bleached vampire all of a sudden.

"Well I've never followed his orders. Besides, I really, really need to find him," she pleaded with her friend.

Willow looked indecisive for a moment but then she nodded. "I'll do it. You wait here, I'm just gonna go get some stuff."

* * *

Buffy had told Giles everything that had happened to Spike - everything but the part of where she had slept with him, that is. But even Giles had been dumbfounded as to why Spike had acted the way he had. The Scooby Gang had not been able to find anything, not even after hours of research, of neither the demons he had fought, nor on the way he had behaved.

"Okay, I've got everything."

Willow's words pulled Buffy out of her thoughts and alerted her on the fact that when the Wicca was ready to located Spike. Willow had begun chanting and straight in front of her, above the map of Sunnydale and the area around it, a blue light appeared. The small light swayed back and forth above the map as though it was having a hard time deciding. Finally, it stopped and Buffy gasped.

"Angel's mansion," she breathed. "But…"

"Why would he go there?" Willow inquired curiously. "What happened between the two of you?"

Buffy rose to her feet. "I'll tell you, I promise, but not right now. I really need to go."

"Um, okay. But… It will be all right, right?"

"I hope so. Bye, Will, and thanks!"

She ran out the door, almost crashing into Tara who was walking down the corridor.

"Hi Tara, bye Tara," Buffy yelled as she continued her sprint.

"What's with her?" Tara asked her girlfriend after entering the dorm and closing the door.

Willow shrugged. "Dunno."

* * *

"Spike!" she yelled, standing outside the mansion, trying to catch her breath after running all the way there.

She knocked carefully on the door, but got no answer. Finally, she opened the door, and walked inside.

"Spike?"

No answer.

She walked further into the mansion, through the halls and looking into the rooms, wondering where the vampire was. "Spike?"

"Uhh…" she heard from the dark corner furthest into the living room. There she saw him. Well, at least she saw his foot. She ran forward, landing herself on the ground next to him. He looked sick. His eyes had sunk in, and he had dark rings around them, the normally white skin looking gray. He looked as though he had lost weight. Which, of course, if she was right in her assumptions, was understandable.

"Schlayer?" he asked drunkenly.

"Spike? What the hell are you doing?"

"I don't know shu know," he replied, meeting her gaze with dazed eyed. "Can't drink it scheems… Dunno why… Doeshen't work…"

"Spike there is something seriously weird going on here." She picked up his hand and put two fingers on his wrist. She gasped as she felt what she had both feared and hoped would be there.

A pulse.

"Spike, let's go home to me." She took the drunken vampire's arm over her shoulder and supported his weight on her. He was weak, hardly able to stand, shaking as he tried to concentrate on balancing.

She got the drunken vampire up on his feet but he looked questioningly at her. "It's schunny outside, Schlayer… I'm allirgec…"

"You mean allergic. But if I'm right, then you shouldn't be."

"No, I don't want tchoo!"

"Spike."

"Fuck off!" He released himself from her grip and promptly fell down on the floor, landing hard.

Buffy was rapidly loosing her patience with the bleach blonde. "Spike, stand up, now," she demanded.

"Don't feel liche it, schlay'r," Spike replied, staying seated on the floor with one hand on his flask. "Thisch I can drink at leacht," he muttered to himself and brought the bottle to his mouth. Buffy was out of patience and kicked it out of his hands before he could drink.

"Hey!" Spike exclaimed, offended.

"Get your ass of the floor right now, dead boy, or I will hurt you," Buffy threatened in a low voice. When Spike still did not move, she tossed the dead weight of his body onto her shoulder and carried him to the door.

Tentatively, she opened the crypt-door and let some sun rays come inside. She held his hand out in it, and he flinched as he thought it would start smoking.

It did not.

She turned slowly to the vampire who was now a man. "Spike," she said. "I don't know how but… You're human."

* * *

She did not believe she got it through to him when she said it, because he started laughing and then he picked up another bottle from the pocket of his duster and began drinking until she took it away from him.

"I can't walk with you like this all the way from here and home," she told him. "So, you are going to sit nicely and quietly while I call Giles."

"Giles?"

She was on the phone, calling the one person who would know what to do. At least she hoped he would know.

"Do you have your car?" she asked.

"Of course," he replied, sounding confused. "Is there something wrong, Buffy?" her Watcher asked worriedly.

"No. Or yes. Well, not really. Uh, it's really confusing and you, um… I'm at the mansion. Could you, um, come and get me?"

"Oh, all right, well, I will be there as soon as I can."

"Yeah, hurry… Thanks."

They hung up and Buffy shot a worried glance over at the sleeping ex- vampire on the floor. She sighed and lifted him up and carried him to the couch in the living room, where she carefully set him down. Never mind the harsh voice she had used at him earlier - she was worried for him. He had suddenly gotten rid of his sun allergy, and he had told her that he could not feed, but what did that really mean? That he was human? Had he grown a soul, or was he just like before? He had acted normal, but, he had been drunk.

Was he really human? He had to be, after all, he was the father of the child she was carrying. So, think of him as the father of your children instead. Oh my god! He…

Unconsciously, she placed a hand on her belly, before sitting down on the floor, leaning uncomfortably on the table until Giles rang the doorbell of the mansion.

* * *

"Well, this is definitely…" Giles said, sinking down on the couch in the Summers' living room, next to the still sleeping Spike.

"I know. Odd. Weird. Really, really scary," Buffy said.

And I haven't even told you the little 'belly-part' she thought to herself. She was going to tell Spike first. He deserved to know. She only hoped that he would be happy about it, because it would not be a whole lot of fun to have to deal with a gone-away Spike too.

"I don't understand how this happened," Giles told her. "The only thing to do right now is to wait for him to, um, sober up, and then he will have to tell. Oh, and I'd have something for him to eat ready when he wakes up, because he is probably hungry."

Buffy nodded.

"I need to get back to the shop, Buffy. Will you be all right?"

"Um… I guess so. Wait till he's sober, give him food, I think I've got it."

He nodded and left a couple of minutes later. Buffy sat down to wait for her lover to wake.

TBC…

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Part 4

"Buffy…?" Spike asked, his head clearing from the dreams he had had.

"Good morning. Or more like good afternoon."

"Slayer, what am I doing here?" he asked, sitting up slowly. It caused black dots to dance in front of his eyes and he leaned back on the soft couch.

"You okay? I got some food for you; you should eat."

"How… Why… How did you know I…"

"How did I know you can't drink blood anymore?" she asked, looking at him and holding out a sandwich. Tentatively, he took it and bit of a piece. Soon, he swallowed, and took another bite, faster and faster until Buffy took the sandwich away from him.

"Slow down," she said with a smile. "You'll get a tummy ache otherwise."

"I'm bleeding hungry!"

She smiled at his outburst, but then grew serious. "Spike, think of why," she said, giving the sandwich back to him. Taking another bite, he looked at her confused.

"You don't mean that…" His round eyes got even bigger.

"Yeah, I do. Spike, some way or another, you've become human."

This was probably the closest Spike ever got to fainting from shock. He fell back on the couch and was still for a couple of seconds, before he began to laugh.

She did not know what reaction she had been expecting, but this was not it. But there he was, laughing like crazy. She silently wondered if the alcohol really had worn off.

"Buffy, this is great news, isn't it?" he asked finally. "Right, love?"

"Spike, it's not all the news."

He sat up again, looking concerned at the tone over her voice.

"What more is there?"

"Well, there's a reason I came to see you today… There's a reason why I figured out you had to be human so fast…"

"Buffy, love, you're scaring me. Tell me what the hell is wrong!" It came out a little harsher than he had intended it to be, but he was getting worried from the face she was wearing, and from the way she was talking.

"I'm pregnant."

"What?"

"You heard. Spike, I'm pregnant."

"Have you… checked? Been to the doctor I mean?"

She shook her head. "No, I haven't. But I've been throwing up the last few days, and I feel all weird, and there is something inside of me that just told me…"

"Oh my god, Buffy."

He fell unusually quiet. She looked at him, tears forming in her eyes. "Spike, please say something," she whispered, the first tear making its way down her cheek. He did not like it. He was angry. She had disappointed him. He would leave her. Just like all the others, he would leave her. Just like Angel, just like Riley.

"Buffy, love, why are you crying? Don't cry… This is happy news."

She looked up at him, and had never seen his eyes so sincere.

"You mean that?" she whispered.

"Of course I do, pet. There are no news you could have given me which would have made me happier."

* * *

Giles had set up a research party as soon as he got back to the Magic Shop. He had called Tara and Willow, and they had come in once they were out of school, and Xander would be arriving when he was finished at work. Anya was the only one there not engrossed in the books - she stood behind the counter, helping a customer - when Buffy entered with Spike in tow.

Spike looked pale and sick still, the dark shadows beneath his eyes still apparent, but he was up and walking, a tired but happy smile on his face.

He kept his distance from Buffy. She had asked him to give her time to tell her friends, and he had reluctantly agreed.

"Hey guys," Buffy smiled and sat down by the table next to Willow.

"Hey Buffy," the other three greeted her. Spike stayed a couple of feet away, still not sure of how the Scoobies were reacting.

"Have you found anything?" Buffy asked and looked from Willow to Giles and Tara and then back to Willow.

"Not yet," Giles replied. "Of course, it wouldn't be that easy. If there was an easy, well-known cure for how to turn vampires human again, then I believe the vampire population of the world would be slightly smaller than it is at the moment."

Buffy nodded; she had figured as much as what Giles was telling her.

"Even Anya doesn't know anything," Willow said, "And she's been around for a while…"

"So, you're saying I turned human for no good reason?" Spike asked, casually strolling over to the table. "That I got what Peaches has been wanting for half is un-life? This is sodden ridicules," he muttered.

"Spike…" Buffy warned, annoyed with the bleached vampi- no, not vampire, she told herself. Man. Man. He was a man. Oh hell, she was just annoyed with him.

"We need to know more about what you've been doing these last few weeks. Any demons you've been fighting, special things you've done," Giles told him.

"Hasn't been much," Spike replied, nicely for once. "Some demons I killed the night before…"

Buffy shot him a warning look and he broke off. Spike sighed silently - he loved to annoy her, but telling her friends about their night together was not something he was about to do.

"Before what, Spike?"

"Oh, nothin'. I killed them, but they got a few hits."

Giles did not reply; he only looked thoughtful for a second, before going back to his books.

An hour later, Xander had joined them. He kept away from the former vampire, confused with the whole situation. He had made a few jokes, but Spike had been unusually tired and quiet, and although he had given Xander a few biting remarks, everyone had left him pretty much alone. Now he had gone into the training room without a word.

Buffy stood up a couple of minutes after he left, her hand brushing over her flat stomach. It was not something anyone would notice; Buffy hardly did so herself.

"I'm just gonna go check on him," she told her friends and left the room.

The door was closed to the training room. Buffy was expecting to hear punches and kicks being thrown, but it was eerily quiet. She opened the door and peeked inside. A smile crept onto her face.

Spike was lying on the couch, his duster on him as a blanket, and he was asleep.

Buffy made her way inside slowly. She still was not completely comfortable with the feelings she had discovered she had for him, but it was getting easier. She had not told him, because she did not feel ready just yet. She was still scared to death of everything. Heck, she was going to be a mom. If that was not scary, then she did not know what was. She had not expected it. She had never thought that she, a Slayer, would become pregnant. That it was with a former vampire somehow felt like a smaller detail in the whole deal, because everything was just so not-likely-to-happen.

She sat down next to him on the mats on the floor. Sitting like that, watching his peaceful face, she could not understand what it was she was scared of. She knew what she was scared of, but she could not understand it.

She was scared that he would leave her. Because everyone else she had loved had left her. Her father, Angel, Riley, even her mother. Okay, she admitted to herself, her mother had not gone by her own will, but she had still been ripped away from Buffy. Now she was scared that if she ever opened her heart up to Spike, he would leave. And she did not know if she would be able to deal with that.

He stirred and she was torn from her thoughts. Slowly, he opened his eyes and looked at her.

"Hello love," he said with a small smile.

"Hey. Did I wake you up? I just came in here to see how you were doing and I found you sleeping and I sat down," she babbled nervously, suddenly wondering what she was doing in there.

"It's okay, pet."

It was strange to see him like this, so very tired and well, out of it. She wondered if he was sick. She had a feeling that he was. It would not be all that surprising; his heart had not been beating for a century, and was suddenly awoken again.

"We should go home and get you to bed. Don't really feel like carrying your deadweight out of here."

When he sat up, black dots danced before his eyes, but he did not tell her and she did not notice because she was getting up herself. He stood up on unsteady legs, and coughed as his chest hurt. She looked at him, concerned.

"You're not okay," she said and put her hand on his forehead before he could react. He winced as her eyes grew big and she exclaimed, "You've got a fever! Like, a way high fever!"

"Keep it down, Slayer," he growled. "I'm fine."

She took his hand and dragged him out of the training room, all the while saying, "You are so not fine. We are going home right now and you are going to bed."

"You're not my bloody mother, Slayer. Just leave it alone."

"Sorry, won't." She stopped in the short corridor that led them to the shop, and looked up at him. Her expression softened. "You're sick and that's not good. I really don't think it's anything serious, but your body isn't used to any of this. Please, Spike, just do this for me, okay?"

He looked down at her and shrugged. He knew he would not be able to say no to a pleading Slayer. He never could. Sighing, he followed her.

Meanwhile, in the shop, Xander was getting bored. "We're not getting anywhere with this," he sighed. "There has never been anything in here on how to turn vampires human, or we would have used it on Dead Boy."

"He's got a point," Willow agreed, looking pleadingly at Giles. She liked research but this was something they all knew would never lead to anything.

"Besides, the one we're researching isn't even here. What's up with that?" Xander asked.

Giles looked at the youngsters. "Fine," he said finally. "You're free to go. We'll just conclude that this is a mystery."

"Um, a thought," Willow said. "Anyone in favor of telling Angel?"

"That his favorite childe has turned human? Hm, might be fun…" Xander grinned.

"Be nice," Anya said, coming up behind him.

"I-I think the best thing might b-be to leave him out," Tara said quietly. "I mean, I don't know him or anything, but…"

"She's right," Willow chimed in. "Angel shouldn't have to know unless necessary."

"Okay, then we're agreed. This stays here," Giles said.

"What stays here?" Buffy asked, walking into the room with Spike close behind. A little too close, Giles noted with dismay, but he did not say anything.

"Oh, nothing," Xander said quickly. "Just some, um, book stuff."

"Yeah. Right," Willow agreed.

Buffy looked between both of her best friends, and they looked guilty, but she decided that it could wait. If it were important, she would find out.

"I'm going home," she said instead. "Spike too."

"Wait, he's - he's staying at your place?" Xander objected.

"Yeah, he is Xander." She wanted to tell him to deal with it, but that would be rude and she did not feel like being Bitch-Buffy today. "Look, he's not all that well, and I can't let him stay in his crypt so…"

She shot the father of her baby a look and saw that he looked worse than he had just minutes earlier in the training room. She was beginning to get scared for him.

"Spike?" she asked silently and he looked up at her. He did not say anything. "Let's go," she continued and he followed her lead to the door.

"You want me to take you home?" Giles asked, surprising himself. He had just noted a relationship between the Slayer - his Slayer - and the former vampire that was too close for his comfort and he was still offering them a ride? But, as Buffy had pointed out, Spike certainly did not look well.

"If you want to, that would be great," Buffy said, smiling at her Watcher.

Giles got up and looked at the remaining Scoobies. "Will you clean up?" he asked, pointing at the stacks of books on the table. Willow and Tara nodded, as did Anya and Xander although they were more reluctant.

Giles followed Buffy and Spike out to his car.

* * *

"You'll be all right with him?" Giles asked when he stopped in front of the Summer's house. Buffy and Giles both shot worried looks in the back, where Spike had fallen asleep once more.

"Yeah. As long as I get him inside." She got out of the car and opened his door. "Spike, wake up." She nudged his arm and he stirred awake. A couple of minutes later, they were inside.

"Dawn?" Buffy yelled into the house. Her sister had been staying at a friend's house over the weekend, thankfully, but should be home by now.

"Yes?" Dawn's figure appeared at the top of the stairs. "Oh my gosh, what's up with Spike?"

He was leaning on Buffy, trying to keep steady.

"He's sick, will you help him to the couch?"

"Don't you think a bed would be nicer?" Dawn asked, racing down the stairs to Spike's side.

"Yes, but they're all upstairs, so unless you want to carry him…" Buffy said with a small smile.

"Point taken." Dawn took over the heavy weight of Spike and steered him towards the couch, while Buffy took her shoes and jacket off.

"Thanks Nibblet," Buffy heard Spike mutter as she put a blanket over him.

"How can he be sick?" Dawn asked, walking over to Buffy again. "I thought vampires couldn't get sick."

"It's a really long story that we don't have time for right now. Can you get the thermometer from the first aid kit, I think he's got a fever."

Spike was already asleep on the sofa; she knew that. It worried her. Over the course of a few hours, Spike had become seriously ill. When they had left to go to the Magic Shop, he had been fine. An hour later, he had been sitting on a chair, looking tiredly as Xander gave his usual comic relief and only replying with smaller remarks. Another hour later, he had been sleeping in the training room, not even noticing Buffy entering. Now he was on her couch, turning back and forth, breaking into a sweat, as the fever seemed to get a stronger hold on him.

What if he was dying?

The thought suddenly hit her, and tears formed in her eyes. What if his body could not handle having to start living again? He had been dead for a century. Maybe that was why there were no records of any vampires turning human - it could not happen because their bodies could not handle it.

"Buffy? Why are you crying?" Dawn's voice reached through to her and Buffy looked up at her concerned looking little sister.

"It's… nothing…"

"So, you're just sitting here at Spike's side, crying for no good reason?"

"Go away."

Dawn was about to give a nasty reply, but stopped herself. She knew that if Buffy was worried to the point of crying for Spike, she had to have feelings for him. That was good. She sat down at her sister's side.

"Do you know why he's sick?" she asked.

"He-he is human," Buffy said slowly.

Dawn looked shocked. "Oh my gosh, but, how? When? I mean, how could this happen? Could it happen? I mean, has it ever happened before?" she rambled.

"We don't know," Buffy replied.

"But, I mean, you have to…"

"We don't know!" Buffy yelled, new tears falling down her cheeks. "We have no idea! It just happened, and now he's sick as hell and I don't know how to make it better…"

Dawn hugged her older sister and Buffy clang to her like a lifeline. "He'll be okay," Dawn soothed. "He'll just sleep and then he'll be fine tomorrow." She wanted to believe it herself, but seeing Spike's ashen colored face, she could not help but think that he looked more dead now than he ever had as a vampire.

TBC…

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Part 5

Buffy stirred, stretching her legs and noticing that she was not in her bed. She opened her eyes and saw Spike there, still sleeping. Memories of the night before came crashing down on her. Spike sick. Her watching him. Dawn comforting her. Then Dawn went to bed and Buffy made herself comfortable by Spike on the floor next to the couch, to be able to watch over him.

She had obviously fallen asleep.

She got up, careful not to wake him. She watched his chest rise and fall with every breath he took. It was something she thought she would never see with him. He looked peaceful, and his face seemed to have recovered some color again. The dark shadows beneath his closed eyes were less apparent. In short, he looked much better than the night before. She put her small hand on his forehead and was glad to find that even though the fever did not seem to be altogether gone, it was lower than the day before.

Buffy heard Dawn come down. When she had descended the stairs, her sister stopped and said, "Mornin'."

"Good morning."

"He better?" Dawn asked and walked over to the couch.

"I think so. The fever seems to have gone down."

At her words, Spike stirred awake and he opened his eyes. The two Summers women stood beside him, and he smiled.

"Should be sick more often," he grinned.

Buffy knew she should have some witty comeback, but she was too happy to care. She threw her arms around him.

"Thank god you're okay," she said, holding him tightly. He smiled softly, stroking her hair, and holding her just as tightly.

"Are you?" he asked.

"Why wouldn't I…" she began, but the now-familiar sickness began sweeping over her, and she suddenly knew what he meant. "I'll be right back."

She darted off, leaving Dawn and Spike alone.

"Hey Nibblet," Spike said, sitting up.

"Hey. You, um, better now?"

He nodded. "Much."

"I heard you were like, uh, human," Dawn said casually, trying to ignore the noise Buffy was now making upstairs. If she did not ignore it, she feared she would have to go throw up herself.

"Um, yeah. Dunno how, it just kinda happened." He looked over at her.

"So, you've got a soul now and is all brooding like Angel?" Dawn asked. He did not seem as broody as Angel had always been, but on the other hand, Dawn had not seen all that much of Spike since he had become human.

"I don't know. I mean, I hope not. I don't wanna be all broody like Peaches. What bloody fun would that be?"

Dawn smiled at him, glad to hear that he hopefully would not turn all boring as Angel. "Good. You know, I'm hungry, I'm gonna go get breakfast. You, um, want anything? I'm guessing you don't drink blood anymore…? At least I hope not, cause that was gross."

"You know how to make hot chocolate with marshmallows, li'l bit?"

She nodded and disappeared out to the kitchen. Minutes later, Buffy came down the stairs.

"Feeling better?" Spike asked her, and she nodded.

"Where's Dawn?" Crashing from the kitchen and an, "It's okay!" answered her question. She sat down beside Spike. "You look better."

"I feel better." He looked at her. She looked so beautiful, so glowing. He bent down and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"Spike, not now, Dawn's here…" she mumbled, but deepened the kiss anyway. It felt so good. She moved her hand up and began playing with his hair, and he had his arms around her, pulling her closer. She groaned with pleasure as his hands began caressing her breasts.

"Oh god…" she mumbled. He kissed her neck and collarbone, gently pushing her down with him onto the couch, so that she was underneath him.

"Oh my god what are you doing?" Dawn stood in the hallway, looking at the two. "Wouldn't that be like R-rated or something?"

Spike and Buffy both sat up, Spike with a mischievous grin on his face and Buffy blushing bright red. She was pulling down her shirt.

"Dawn, um…" Buffy began, but then fell silent because she had no idea of how to continue.

"Okay you two, it's all right. I know about birds and bees, you know. But please, on our couch - eww!" Dawn put her hands on her hips.

"Oh you just wait until you…" Spike began, but Buffy slapped his chest to get him quiet.

"Dawn, go to the kitchen. We'll be there in a second."

Dawn shrugged and left. Spike sat, still with his arm around her and still with that trademark cocky grin on his face. "You can't just get me started like that, you know…" he mumbled, leaning in to kiss her again. His lips met her for a second before Buffy broke it off.

"Not. Now." she said. "My little sister is already traumatized."

"Oh come on, you don't think she's done it already?"

Buffy glared at him. "Okay, eww! I really don't want to think about that. Besides, no, I don't think so. She - she's more responsible than that."

He kissed her again. "I still don't think she's traumatized."

Buffy threw him off and stood up. "Get up so we can eat breakfast," she told him, and left for the kitchen.

* * *

The doctor's office was filled with people when Buffy entered with Spike in tow, and she dreaded that she would have to wait for a long time before getting to see her doctor. An hour later, that dread had become truth. Buffy was sitting, flipping restlessly through a magazine, with Spike beside her. He had a slightly scared look on his face.

"What is it?" Buffy asked finally, having been unsuccessful in understanding what it was Spike was scared of.

"Nothing," Spike replied too quickly.

"Come on. Tell me."

He looked at her. "This," he said and put a gentle hand on her stomach. "That is what scares me. I'm sitting here, watching all these women with their bloody huge stomachs, and I know that you'll look the same, and I know that it is because you're carrying something that is mine, and I never thought that I'd have that. And it scares the hell outta me."

"I'm scared too," Buffy said quietly. "I never thought I'd have this either. I'm a Slayer, I'm not supposed to have kids, you know. And certainly not with a hundred-year-old vampire who recently turned human."

She put her own hand over Spike's on her stomach and held it.

"But I'm still glad, you know. I'm scared, but I'm also glad and amazed."

"I'll second all of the above," Spike grinned. "I love you, Slayer."

She looked up at him, his sincere eyes meeting hers and she knew that she should tell him, but she could not. Not yet.

"I know Spike. Please don't leave me."

"I'll never leave." He was disappointed about the fact that she had not returned her words of love, but he knew that bit by bit, he was breaking down that wall she had around herself. Just like he had ever since he first met her.

"Buffy Summers?" a nurse called out, getting the odd couple's attention.

"Here we go," Buffy muttered, and got up, following Spike to the doctor's office.

* * *

"And that, that is the baby," the doctor said pointing to a gray part on the screen.

"To me, it looks mostly like a big blob to me."

"Spike, be nice. It's our child you're talking about."

"What? Don't tell me you can make any sense out of that." He pointed at the screen.

The doctor followed the exchange, looking from one to another.

"If you let the doctor talk, maybe I could," Buffy bit back. Surprisingly, Spike fell silent and looked at the doctor, motioning to him to continue.

"Well, er, your child looks perfectly normal. It has come as long as should be expected. You are seven weeks pregnant, and I would like to see you again in a month or so."

"Okay," Buffy replied. "I'll see you in a month."

She pulled down her shirt and jumped off the table. She had to fill some papers out, but half an hour later, they were out of there.

"When are you gonna tell your mates?" Spike asked, opening the car door for her.

Buffy sat down and shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not sure how they'll take it. I'm thinking they're gonna flip."

"And your sis?" He started the car and drove out on the street, heading for the Summers' home.

"Well, if she's not completely stupid, she's probably suspecting something. You know, I have been throwing up like every single morning for six weeks."

"So why don't you tell her?"

"I will, okay!? I will!"

TBC…

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