Come Back to Me

By Chibi-Red

Three weeks had been like an eternity to Buffy. She looked everywhere for the elusive vampire, Willie’s Demon Bar, all of Sunnydale’s many cemeteries, the Bronze, the mansion, and of coarse Spike’s crypt. Clem was very good natured about it, but even the gentle demon was getting tired of Buffy showing up at all hours of the day and night just to check if Spike had returned.

“Gee Buffy, I told you I would let you know if he came back,” Clem said as he scratched his wrinkled head.

Buffy’s shoulders dropped, “I know, and I’m sorry I keep bothering you… I just don’t know where else to look.

Clem patted the tiny slayer on the shoulder. He knew how sad and upset she had been about Spike, but he honestly didn’t know what to do.

I’ve tried everywhere. I even have Giles researching demon places in Africa. She threw up her arms in frustration, “He could be anywhere. I have better odds at kitten poker that I do of finding Spike!”

Clem jumped from his chair, “Poker!”

Frowning, Buffy replied, “Now’s not the time for poker, Clem.”

“No, I just remembered. I was playing poker with some friends down at Dante’s Bar; not for keeps, wouldn’t hurt the furry little darlings,” he said with a nervous grin, “one of them mentioned he had run into Harmony in Vegas.” Clem’s grin widened, clearly pleased with himself.”

“Clem,” trying to keep impatience out of her voice, “what has Harmony got to do with Spike?”

“Well, this demon told me that Harmony was bragging something about her ‘bear hitting the jackpot’. I didn’t think anything about it before. You know Harmony, she loves to talk, but then I remembered that she used to call Spike her ‘blondie bear’. Clem rolled his eyes and smirked.

“I don’t think Harmony having a bear has anything to do with Spike and besides why would he run off to Vegas to gamble, especially after getting his soul.”

Clem frowned and looked at Buffy with sad eyes. “Maybe he didn’t have any other place to go.”

Buffy slumped into the chair; she knew it was the truth. She had practically shoved him away. A fresh wave of guilt washed over her. She should have run after him that night and begged him to stay. “Do you know where Harmony is staying, in Vegas?”

Clem was hesitant to give the slayer the address; after all he liked Harmony and didn’t want anything to happen to her; like a stake. Hedging the truth, Clem said, “I don’t know the exact address, but I do know where she might be. I’ll go with you to help find her,” ….and keep you from staking her, he thought to himself.

“Okay. Get some rest and we’ll leave around eight. We should get there by night fall.” Buffy smiled for the first time in weeks. She knew it was a long shot but at least she had a plan.

****
Clem pulled his red VW into the parking lot at the small hotel located at the end of the strip. It didn’t look like much, but it was cheap and they didn’t ask too many questions about demon customers.

“I’ll go get two rooms and meet you in the lobby in five.”

As she turned to get out of the car, Clem stopped her was a hand on her arm. “Buffy, you do know this might not work out like you plan?”

“Yeah, I know. He probably isn’t here, but I have to try. I have to do something!” She picked up her purse and walked toward the building. Clem watched her till she was out of sight then punched in the number on his cell phone. “We’re here. ------- Are you sure about this? ------Okay see you later.” He sure hoped he was doing the right thing.


*****
Spike wondered around the room, restless and edgy. He used to love Vegas, with its bright lights, all night action, poker, and drunken all-you-can-eat buffet meals on legs. It held little interest for him now, but as a place to crash until he figured out where to go next. He appreciated Harmony letting him stay, especially after how he had treated her when they were together. He would have much rather be ‘home’ in Sunnydale, with Buffy, but he knew that would never happen. He picked up a porcelain unicorn, turned it over in his hands without really looking at it and then put it down to continue wondering around the room. Harmony watched him, holding an un-needed breath every time he got near her prized collection.

When he picked up her favorite crystal keepsake she snapped, “You break that and I’ll stake you!” Realizing her tone of voice might upset the already upset vampire she mellowed her voice and said, “Oh baby, what can I do to help?”

He turned and glared, “I’m not going to break your sodding dust-collector Harmony!” He sat it back and said, “And you’ve helped enough by letting me stay here for a while, I just need time to think some things through.” Frustrated he reached for his jacket. Harmony jumped to her feet and blocked his way.

“Where are you going?”

Spike looked at her and scowled, “Out!”

“You can’t!”

“And why’s that?” his head tilted in question.

“Uh…uh…I got a surprise for you.” Switching to her honeyed little girl voice, she added “Blondie Bear.”
***
Clem stood outside the door with a nervous slayer in tow. After one quick knock, the door was opened by a bubbly excited Harmony.

“Oh Wow! You’re here!”

Clem stood transfixed. He had forgotten how pretty the petite vampire was. He swallowed then stuttered, “Hi...Har…Harmony. Thanks for seeing us.”

“Oh silly, of coarse I see you. You’re standing right in front of me.” She leaned in and whispered, as he inhaled her perfume, “He almost left but I stopped him.” She looked around Clem and said with a cool sarcastic tone, “Hi Buffy; still slaying?”

“Yeah Harmony, still killing?” returning the taunt.

“No!” she said as she pouted with her arms crossed across her chest, “he won’t let me. Says it’s bad for me, making me drink pig’s blood; which by the way isn’t bad with a little lemon in it. So, where was I? Oh yeah, anyway you so ‘have’ to talk to him. He’s like depressed and stuff. He’s not anything like my ‘blondie bear.”

Buffy’s eyes shot to the other blonde, “He’s here…now?”

“Well yeah, didn’t Clem tell you?”

They both turned and looked at the uncomfortable demon, who shrugged and gave a guilty smile. “Thought the trip would be easier if you didn’t know.” He wanted to change the glare that Buffy was giving him, so he turned to Harmony and asked, “What did Spike say when you told him we were coming?”

“I…I didn’t exactly tell him,” Harmony said with equal quilt. “He would have left for sure if I’d told him.”

“Where is he now, Harmony?” Buffy was torn between being irritated at the two of them and anxious about Spike.

“Inside. Moping. He’s not anything like my old Spikey.”

Buffy wanted to throttle the airhead for many reasons, mostly because she kept referring to Spike as ‘hers’. Instead she pushed past her and stalked into the house.

Clem and Harmony exchanged nervous looks as his folds turned a deep shade of red. “Uh…It sure was nice of you to help out. Maybe we should go get coffee or something while they talk?”

She took a closer look at Clem. With a little help in the clothing department, he could be so cute, like a puppy, one of those wrinkled kind. And he was really sweet. “Sure, that would be great,” flashing him a huge smile.

Encouraged, Clem said, “Maybe we could go see Circus du Soleil…if you want?”

“Ohh” she cooed, “I love them. It’s really amazing that there’re all demons,” she said as she walked off.”

Clem’s mouth dropped then he caught up with her. “Harmony, there’re not demons, there’re really circus performers.”

She rolled her eyes, “Oh please, like regular humans could do stuff like that.”
****
Buffy stood in the empty living room wondering what to do next. As usual she had rushed in without a clue of a plan. The decision was made for her when Spike came in from the kitchen with a glass of blood. He stopped in his tracks and stared at her. “What are you doing here?”

Trying to calm her racing heart she shrugged and said, “Thought I would get a little gambling in. I’m getting really good at poker.” At his questioning look, she explained, “Clem’s been teaching me.”

“Hope you learned how to hide aces in your skin, ‘cause that’s the only way o’sag skin can win.”

They both stood there, looking anywhere but at each other in an uncomfortable silence. Then, Spike asked, “Buffy, why are you really here? I thought we’ve said it all.”

“No, you’ve said it all. Now it’s my turn.”

He leaned against the counter and nodded his head, “All right, let’s have a go. Talk!”

Buffy started to pace in the small living room, collecting her thoughts. She had so many questions. She stopped in front of him and looked directly at him, which made him uneasy but he didn’t show any outward sign. He just took a long sip of his drink and returned her gaze.

“First of all, how did you get your soul?”

That one threw him for a loop, but he just shrugged and said, “Clem tell ya’ huh? Well, I saw a demon and won my soul.”

“Just like that?”

“No! I had some trials to do, test to win that sort of thing.”

“What kind of trials?”

“The kind that nearly killed me, alright? I did a stupid thing and now I got a brand new soul that is….”

“What?” she asked gently.

He shrugged again as if it was nothing. “It’s just too much sometimes.” He drained his glass and went into the kitchen for something a little stronger. Buffy followed him and continued with the questions.

“That tells me how, but it doesn’t tell me why.”

He turned his head and said, “Ya al’ready know, luv. I did it for you.”

She took a step closer and said, “You didn’t have to do that…for me.”

He smirked, “Oh right! You were just going to fall in love with me, soul-less and all.” He paused as he gulped the whiskey from his glass. “Ya’ know Summers, it doesn’t matter now. You have your life and I have mine.”

“Spike…if you went to all that trouble to get your soul, why didn’t you stay…with me?”

He looked at her and sighed, “I could never be what you need.”

“What is it you think I need?”

“A man…a human man.” He took another drink. Buffy stood there trying to find the words to convince him that she needed him. Spike sat the glass down and turned to face her, “Ya know, I used to think you needed to be in the dark with me, but the thing is I wanted you there with me because I knew I could never be in the light…with you. So yeah, I tried to pull you down.” He leaned in and brushed a strand of hair from her face and said with a bittersweet smile, “But you’re light and good and I knew I would eventually destroy you.”

“That’s not true,” Buffy whispered.

“Isn’t it? When we were together, we both knew you were just using me.” Buffy looked away in shame. “I was okay with that, ‘cause I had a part of you. But you…I was killing you and I knew it and I still couldn’t let you go. You’re my weakness,” he whispered.

“Weakness?” she asked softly.

He leaned back and straightened his shoulders, trying to keep from reaching for her. “A stake in the heart or a walk in the sun would kill me but you’re the only thing that could really ‘hurt’ me.”

Tears formed in her eyes as she asked, “What about me?”

“‘I’ hurt you. Over and over I hurt you. I can’t do that again.”

“Don’t you think I have any weaknesses?”

“Your taste in men, for one,” he smirked.

Buffy rolled her eyes at him but said, “No Spike, ‘you’re’ my weakness.” He shook his head in disbelief, but she continued before he could interrupt. “I turned to you when I couldn’t turn to anyone else. I knew you would understand. I learned a lot these past few months while you were gone. I learned that I need you.” He tilted his head and looked at her and started to walk away, not able to believe what she was saying. Buffy reached for his arm and stopped him. “I missed you, Spike. I missed talking to you, seeing you every day, well night actually. Yes, some big nasty could kill me. Life will kill me, but you…you were the only thing that hurt me....when you ‘left’.” Spike watched her face, afraid to believe her. Buffy could see the doubt on his face. “You said that I didn’t need the dark, but don’t you see we both have dark and light in us. I’m not like any other woman. I’m the slayer, a strong woman, who needs a strong man. My life revolves around evil and darkness.”

“Just ‘cause you fight evil doesn’t make you evil, luv.”

“No, but maybe I have to have a little darkness in me to do what I do. And you; when you helped me and fought beside me and cared for Dawn, didn’t that take some good in you.” He didn’t answer her as he tried to believe what she was saying. “Don’t tell me you did it because of the chip or some fool notion that you did it to get in good with me, because I don’t buy it. What about when I died, why did you stay and help the gang and care for Dawn? I wasn’t around to impress.”

“I made a promise.”

“Only someone that had ‘good’ in them would keep a promise to someone dead.”

“Buffy…” he interrupted, wanting to convince her that he wasn’t good.

Buffy took a deep breath and stepped in close, not letting him finish, “Maybe I am light with a little darkness mixed; but maybe you’re dark with a little lightness mixed in.” Spike tilted his head and leaned in, wanting so much to believe her. Buffy continued, “I’d say we would make a good pair…like that yin-yang thing.”

“Uhh?”

Buffy stepped closer, inches from him and placed her hands on his chest. “You know; that big black comma with the small dot of white that fits with the big white comma with the small dot of black.”

Spike laughed and pulled her closer, and softly said, “I love you, I’ll always love you.”

She looked into his misting blue eyes and whispered, “And I love you, Spike.” She reached in and placed a light kiss on his lips then smiled, “You’re the yin to my yang thingy.”

Spike groaned as he embraced her and returned her kiss with months of built up love and passion that was matched by Buffy as she wrapped her arms around his neck. When the kiss ended, Buffy asked, “Spike, can you do something for me?”

He pulled his head back and said, “Anything.”

“Come back to me.”

“Let’s go home, luv.”

The End

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