Chapter 9:

”Mmm…” Buffy murmured into a pillow. ‘Nice,’ she thought as she felt some warm hands around her waist and--- “Huh?” She woke up immediately, when she felt hands holding her around her waist, and a warm breath tickling her neck. She opened her eyes slowly, and then remembered that she had shared bed with… Spike? She didn’t look at him, as she lifted his arms away from her body, thousands thoughts running through her head as she did so.

‘This is weird. Why was he holding me? Does he like me? He was nice yesterday, but that was probably just because it was my birthday... today will everything go back to normal.’

She went out of bed, and grabbed some clothes, and then went to check on her tattoo in the mirror. She pulled her shirt up, and then looked at her still stinging tattoo. It was still kinda reddish, but Faith had told her that it would go away after a couple of days. She was about to get the stuff so that she could clean it, when she heard a soft groan behind her.

”Mmm… Buffy…”

Buffy frowned when she saw Spike, still sleeping peacefully in bed, his lips slightly parted, as he mumbled something that Buffy couldn’t make out.

”Uh, Spike? You up yet?” Buffy asked, afraid of that he might just have been joking. She took her shirt down again, and inched a little closer to him. ‘What if he wasn’t joking? What if he has feelings for me? Oh yeah, riiight.’

”…want you… mmm….” Spike mumbled into the pillow.

’OH GOD, OH GOD, OH MY GOD!!’ Buffy’s mind screamed at her as she swallowed hard, trying to catch his ramblings.

”….bloody kittens… stupid blonde…”

Buffy’s heart sank to her stomach. He doesn’t feel the same about me. He was probably just dreaming about Harmony. God, why do I have to be so stupid? Buffy just sighed, before she went to the door. She wasn’t gonna let anything ruin this day.

_____


”You thought what?” Buffy asked loudly, her eyes as big as they possibly could get, as she stared with a confused face at her mother.

”Well, we just wanted to make it up to you, since we couldn’t celebrate your birthday at home, with your friends.” Joyce explained with light shrug.

”So you thought that going and fishing is the best way to make it up for me?” Buffy asked. “Mom, it’s enough that I actually have to be here, do you have to make everything worse?”

”Buffy, don’t be like that. It will be fun. Rupert said that he and William used to do it one time, every summer in England, before they moved here. They can teach us, right honey?” Joyce said brightly, turned to Rupert.

”Yes, fishing is a true pleasure. It’s relaxing, calming, and extremely--“

”Alright, okay… Whatever.” Buffy said with little enthusiasm, as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Although, I really don’t think that I’m gonna need much help. I have seen other people fish and stuff, you know?”


______


”Ewww!!” Buffy cried out, as she watched the little slimy worm fight for its very short life. “Do you have to be so brutal about it?” She asked Spike, clearly disgusted.

”What did you think I was gonna do, throw myself in the water, and catch the fish myself?” Spike argued, irritated with the younger blondes questions.

”Shut up, dumb-ass.” Buffy said, trying to hide how inexperienced she actually was at the topic. “Just cause I have a life and—“

”Isn’t this just wonderful?” Joyce asked Rupert, from the other end of the boat, as she looked out over the water. “Oh, if you could do this everyday, life would be perfect.”

“—of course pet.” Spike said, still arguing with Buffy.

”Agh! Stop calling me pet. If you call me anything else then Buffy, I’m gonna start calling you Blondie bear.” Buffy threatened, making Spike’s eyes wide in fear.

”I’ll be good.” He said, and nodded towards her.

”How are you two doing? Getting anything?” Joyce asked the suddenly quiet teens.

”No, Spike’s having some trouble killing the worm.” Buffy said, making Spike cast an annoyed look her way. ”Anyway, when can we go home? I was thinking that if we hurry, I might actually have some time to get a tan.”

”Buffy, would you stop it?” Joyce said warningly, her blue eyes dangerously close to becoming dark.

”Yeah, lo—“ Spike looked at Buffy, who sent him an evil glare. ”—ffy.”

”Loffy?” Buffy asked with questioning eyes.

”I know that this is hard for you, but can’t you just TRY to make an effort? Rupert and I are really trying to make this to a nice weekend for all of us, and if you don’t stop complaining, I’ll personally set you on the nearest bus, and send you to your father.” Joyce said, her eyes sparkling with anger.

”I can’t talk to you anymore! I hate you; you ruined my 16-birthday, just because you were selfish and wanted some quality screw-time with Giles!” Buffy said, and stood up in the boat, wobbling a little on shaky legs. Both Rupert and Spike just watched, confused and shocked by the scene. “It’s not like I asked you to take me here, I just wanted to be home, celebrating with my friends, were there is no parents, or whatsoever in sight!”

”Don’t you dare talk to me like that, Buffy. I am your mother, and I’ll decide what you will do and not do.” Joyce said, pointing a long finger Buffy’s way, as she also stood up in the boat. Spike stood up, and took his hand on Buffy’s shoulder, trying to get her to sit down, but that was a terrible mistake. Since Buffy was pissed off at her mother, she didn’t see him standing up, and when he put his hand on her shoulder, she whipped around, making Spike stumble backwards and…

”Ahhh!!” Spike yelled in shock, as he fell into the lake.

______


”I said I was sorry!” Buffy called out as she ran after a dripping wet Spike. “What more do you want me to say?”

”J-just stay out of my way, okay?” Spike said, trembling as he held his arms around his dripping wet body. This was just his luck, getting his last clothes soaked.

Buffy just sighed, as Spike opened the door to their cabin. ‘What did he want her to do? It wasn’t like she had pushed him into the lake on purpose… Not really, anyway. Well, maybe a little, but she was sure that he deserved it anyway.’ She closed the door after her, as she watched him stand in the middle of the room, as if not sure of what to do.

”Oh, do you want me to turn around?” Buffy asked, getting what he meant.

”Well, that would be nice.” Spike said, and shrugged. Buffy turned and frowned when she didn’t hear him go to the drawer. She turned around, and saw him standing on the same spot as the last time she checked.

”I thought you were gonna change?” Buffy asked, a hint of annoyance leaking through.

”I never said that.” Spike said innocently. “Besides, I don’t have any other clothes. I’ll just wait until they dry.

”But then you’ll get a cold, which means that I’ll get a cold, which meant that I won’t be spending Monday afternoon at Cordy’s party.” Buffy said, pausing for a while. “I don’t care what you change into; you are NOT getting a cold.”

”Well, I don’t have any other clothes. Unless you want me naked, that is.” Spike said, and suddenly was the bored expression gone from his face, and the familiar smirk was visible again, as he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

”No, thank you very much.” Buffy said, as she looked disgusted at him. ”You can borrow some of my clothes. Not because I care about your health or anything, just because I don’t wanna get a cold.” Buffy said, as she went to get some of her clothes.

”What? I am not wearing your clothes. Are you daft or something?” Spike asked.

”Fine. Freeze to death. See if I care.” Buffy said and shrugged. She went to sit on her bed, but not before putting the covers over the still mashed and ugly spider. “Are you just gonna stand there?” Buffy asked, as she faced the still wet Spike.

”Yes.” Spike said sullenly.

”You’re really stubborn, did you know that?”

”You’re the one to talk.” Spike said, and smiled slightly.

”Yes I am?” Buffy said and frowned. “Are you telling me that I am stubborn, which I’m not by the way?”

”Of course you’re not.” Spike said and smiled.

”Damn right I’m not!” Buffy said and nodded.

”Could you maybe help me with my shoes? They’re getting kind of heavy.” Spike said, and lifted one of his water filled booths in the progress.

”I’m done being your slave, Spike.” Buffy pointed out.

”You know, now when I think about it, you owe me one, since I could’ve drowned today.” Spike said.

”I don’t owe you anything,” Buffy said but couldn’t help but feel embarrassed about him mentioning it again. ‘Don’t be silly, Buffy. He can swim, he wouldn’t have gotten hurt. He DIDN’T get hurt, so stop worrying about him.’

“Yeah, right. You wouldn’t even have cared if I actually died, since you’re just a cold hearted bitch.” Spike bit out through clenched teeth.

Buffy felt like she was getting slapped in her face. Her face turned cold, as she stood up, and went to stand in front of him. “Well, you’re the one who’s screwing the bitches.” At Spike’s emotionless expression, Buffy continued. “Oh, you don’t remember them? Well, let me count them then. Harmony, Drusilla, and what was that other blonde girls name aga—“ Buffy was cut off when she was pressed against a wet chest, and lips attacking her own. All Buffy could do was to respond with lifting her arms up and holding onto his shoulders as he bit her lower lip. Buffy gasped, and when she parted her lips, Spike pushed his tongue inside her warm mouth, making Buffy moan.

’Mmmmm…. Nice… This is nice.’ Was all her fuzzy mind could tell her.

She felt his hands travel down her back, past her butt, to stay on her thighs. Buffy then wrapped her slim legs around his strong hips, as he lifted her up, still kissing her.

Buffy felt herself fall down on a bed, still entangled with Spike, as he finally stopped kissing her, making both gasp for breath.

”Want you Buffy… Ever since I saw you with that pounce… You’re so beautiful pet, when did you get so beautiful?” Spike mumbled as he traced soft kissed on her neck.

”Mmm…” Buffy said, not really hearing what he was saying. Since all she could think about was how nice his tongue felt when he licked and sucked at her neck. Suddenly she felt something poke her thigh… Buffy’s eyes went wide and tried to stay calm. ‘Nothing to worry about. It’s totally normal. Oh my god, he’s having an erection for me. Unless he’s thinking about someone else… Of course he’s not… You’re the one he’s making out with… Just shut up.’ Buffy’s mind rambled. Her eyes got even wider when she saw Spike’s eyes meeting hers. “Should I say something?” Buffy asked awkwardly. ‘Why is he staring at me?’

”You’re just so beautiful.” Spike said sincerely, his hands on her sides.

“Oh. Thank you.” Buffy said and blushed. Then she remembered something. “Oh no…”

”What is it?” Spike asked, worried. She didn’t regret anything, right?

”We just made out on a mashed spider!” Buffy said, her green eyes wide in realization.




 

Chapter 10:

Buffy nervously glanced his way. Nope, still not looking. ‘Why is he ignoring me? Did I do something wrong? No, no it’s his fault. I didn’t do anything wrong. I can’t believe him, him with his ‘don’t you think we’re going to fast,’ and ‘we shouldn’t be doing this, Buffy,’ and her favourite,’ why don’t we just stay away from each other for a while, so that we can think this over.’ ‘God, can’t he even look at me?’

Buffy snorted, and put her chin high, and tried to ignore the worried expression her mother had on her face.

”Buffy?” She asked carefully. “Are you okay back there?” Buffy still didn’t answer her, just kept staring stubbornly at her shoes. ‘Hmm, I’m gonna need to clean these soon.’ “I’m sorry that I yelled at you the other day. I know it wasn’t your fault, and that you didn’t mean to push William into the lake. It was just…” Joyce’s voice drifted off, and she turned to look at the road instead.

Buffy swallowed hard, and tried not to look at him, she really did, but after just a few minutes of her staring at her shoes, she looked up, and met his blue confused eyes. She quickly looked away, slightly embarrassed over him finding out that she was ogling him. She then furrowed her brow. ‘Hey, I wasn’t the only one ogling. He was ogling me too. Why am I embarrassed, he’s the one who’s doing the ogling here, not me. I’m the anti-ogle girl. Yep, not ogling anything…’

“Aren’t you excited, Buffy? You can celebrate your 16-birthday at home now. With your friends.” Joyce said suddenly, cutting Buffy off her own crazy rambling.

”Oh. No, I’m not gonna celebrate my birthday this year.” Buffy stated coldly, her voice showing no emotion.

Joyce sighed deeply, but decided that it probably was best to leave her daughter alone. She obviously didn’t wanna talk about what had happened, but Joyce was sure that she would find out sooner or later what she was hiding.

”Well, what are the first thing you’re gonna do when you get home?” Giles spoke up for the first time since they’d entered the car.

”Oh, I’m gonna watch the episodes that I’ve missed of my favourite shows.” Joyce said, her voice sounding excited.

”What about you kids back there? What are you gonna do?” Giles asked after a long pause.

”Sleep.” Spike said after a while, and threw his father a quick smile, before looking back down at his hands.

”I’m gonna call Cordy.” Buffy said.

After that, it was quiet.

______


Buffy had just finished putting her clothes back in her closet, when she saw her diary in her bag. She then remembered that she hadn’t written anything as she had been gone. Suddenly, it didn’t seem so appealing writing in it. Buffy sat down on her bed, and was relieved that the tattoo didn’t hurt as much as before. She still hadn’t showed it to anyone. But that was the point, it was a secret, that no one would fins out. Unless she wanted them to.

She grabbed one of her grey over sized t-shirts and quickly stripped off her clothes, to replace them with the thin material. She ran her hands over her shirt clad stomach, and smiled as she tried to remember Spike, as he smiled at her, laughing, or smirking. His eyes seemed to get bluer every time she saw him. He was so beautiful… and he dumped me. Suddenly, the moment of happiness was gone, and replaced was anger and hurt.

Buffy looked at her pale, white door, and then sighed as she realised that she didn’t have any choice. She had to ask him. She walked out to the hall, and then stopped as she found herself outside his door. A blue and black sigh with, ‘KEEP OUT!’ on it, seemed to make fun of her.

What was she doing exactly? She couldn’t just walk in to his room, and say, ‘you know what, I don’t care what you think. You’re gonna be my boyfriend, and I don’t take a no for an answer.’ That might sound just a little bit too desperate. Maybe she could ask him what she was to him. No, he would just say that she was special, but that he still couldn’t do anything about it. When did he get morals? ‘Where was I when *that* happened?’

Buffy heard a muffled noise in his room and frowned, before she went closer to the door, and bent down and pressed her ear to the door, so that she could hear better.

”No, are you crazy? I can’t say that… She might be a stupid airhead, who gets on my nerves all the times, but I don’t think she deserves that. Well, maybe she does.” Spike said after a pause. “Sure, maybe. Gotta go.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. Who was he talking to? Was he talking about me? Who is he to call me an airhead?! Was he just pretending to like me so that he could tell his buddy’s how bad I was at kissing? How could I fall for that? I’ll give him for air—‘

”Oomph,” was the muffled cry Buffy let out as the door suddenly smacked her in the head. As she lied there on the floor, her head spinning, she felt someone take her hand.

”Buffy? What are you doing? Were you listening at my door? Buffy?”

”Wha’?” She said and frowned, and tried to focus her eyes at Spike who was kneeling at her right side a concerned look on his face.

”Buffy, are you okay?” Spike asked, and took both of her hands to push her up from the floor. She wobbled a bit on her still shaky legs, before she rubbed her bruised head.

”That hurt.” She mumbled to herself.

”Well, how was I supposed to know that you where eavesdropping outside my door?” Spike asked, and his concerned face was gone, and he was now looking at her with his usual cocky grin. “Maybe you wanted to hear something, huh? Maybe you though that I were d-“

”Oh, shut up.” Buffy said before he had any time to finish, and rolled her eyes at him.

”Only saying what it looked like, pet.” Spike said with a shrug, and let go of her hand.

”Well. Whatever you thought you saw didn’t happen. I wasn’t trying to hear anything, I just… Ugh, you know, just forget it. It wasn’t important anyway.” Buffy said, and was about to leave, when Spike grabbed hold of her arm, and before she knew what’d happened, she was suddenly pushed inside his room, and pressed up against his door. He was holding her hands over her head, and had her whole body covered with his own, as he looked at her.

”Gee, you could’ve just asked me if you wanted me in your room. No need to get all Mr. Grabby and—“ Buffy cut herself off, a the sudden feeling of Spike thrusting his hips forward, making her feel something… really big. “Uh, what, um…” Buffy mumbled and closed her eyes, and tried to think, but her mind was fuzzy. She held her breath as she felt Spike’s warm and tickling breath on her neck.

”I told you to stay away, Buffy.” Spike said, and Buffy shivered at the sound of his voice. Suddenly, it sounded so... dark and dangerous. He nuzzled her chin, and Buffy’s mind went blank again. “If you don’t leave now pet, I won’t be able to stop myself.”

”Well... Even if I wanted to leave, it’s kinda hard with you holding me against this door.” Buffy said and tried to laugh, but it sounded more like a nervous giggle.

Knock. Knock.

Buffy thought that she was gonna have a heart attack right there, when she heard a knocking, at the door she was pressed up to, with Spike nuzzling her neck. Buffy quickly pushed a glassy eyed Spike away from her, then panicked and began searching for a hideaway. She immediately ran across the room, and dove under his bed. She pressed herself at the wall, and as soon as her body stilled, the door was opened softly.

”Uh, hi dad!” Spike said in a very unlike him, voice. If she didn’t know him, she would’ve said that it sounded like he was nervous.

”Hi son. I’m not disturbing you, am I?” Giles asked, and Buffy saw his brown shoes entering the room. She looked around herself and saw that the whole floor was practically dancing in dust and garbage. She also felt something poke her lower back.

”No, that’s okay. I was just talking to Xander.” Spike said, and walked across the room to stand in front of the bed.

Buffy then remembered the conversation she had heard before, and she got hurt all over again. ‘Damn him and his distracting lips.’ The plan was the she would talk to him, tell him what a big jerk he was, then, if he said sometime she didn’t like, she would slap him, and be mad at him for about three weeks. Getting pressed up against his door and feeling his thingy, was not a part of her plan. Her cheeks got flushed as she thought about it.

”Well. I need to talk to you. You better sit down.” Giles said, and Buffy saw his shoes making their way to the bed, and then a squeaking sounded as he sat down on the mattress. As he did, dust fell down on her whole body and face, making her hold her nose, trying not to sneeze. Spike sat down next to him on the bed, a puzzled look on his face.

”It has come to my notice... What I mean is, I just thought that I should… Um, Joyce told me that you are getting older and… Things happen, um, and you start feeling things about the opposite sex.” Giles started. Buffy could practically hear Giles cleaning his glasses, and Spike rolling his eyes.

”Dad, do we have to—“

”I just think that you should tell me if you start feeling… Things.” Giles said seriously.

”Haven’t we had this talk already?” Spike groaned.

”Please be honest, William. Have you…” Giles voice drifted off.

Buffy could hear her heart beating, and it felt like her breathing was as loud as a tractor, as she waited for his answer.

”That’s none of your business.”

Buffy’s heart was sinking, until it had gone all the way down to lie in her stomach. Why did it take her by surprise every time she heard it?

”I don’t wanna talk about it.” Spike said angrily, and the beds weigh shifted as he stood up. “Sorry dad, but would you mind, I’m really tired…”

”Oh. Just remember that I’m here. If you wanna talk.”

”I’ll remember that.” Spike said.

Giles got up from the bed and went to the door. When Buffy heard the door opening and close, she didn’t know what to feel or do. So she just lied there, in all the dust and garbage, and looked at his shoes. He hadn’t moved since the door had closed.

”You can come out now.” Spike said after a while.

Buffy bit her lip in frustration, and sighed, before she crawled out from under the bed. She didn’t meet his eyes, as she dusted herself off, and straightened her shirt. Eventually, she looked up, and was surprised that Spike looked Justas miserable as her.

”So…” She began, and nodded.

”Yeah…” He said.

”Are we… I mean… You’re dating Harmony.” Buffy said suddenly, and her face changed into disgust as she heard herself say her name.

”No. I mean, I guess you could say that. But I’m not anymore. Not after…” He said and frowned.

”Well, when you decided who you want to be with, I’ll just stay out of your way. Like I was supposed to do.” Buffy said, and before Spike had anytime to say anything, she was already gone.

_____

 

Chapter 11:

“I can’t believe you, Blondie bear!” A high pitched voice screeched through the Summers and the Giles’s household. “I’ve given you the best… bunch of months of my life! How can you just dump me like this?”

”I said that I’m sorry, what more do you want me to say?” Spike asked, with a sigh, as he looked at the annoying girl who he had dated for the last two months. Why? He had no idea…

”Well, I’m gonna come back when you’re back to your senses, Spikey, so you’ll just have to think about excuses to say to me when I call you!” Harmony said, and pointed an accusing finger at him, while holding her little pink bag, giving him the whole valley brat attitude. “Or, change that, because you’re the one who’s gonna call me, since you’ll be so sorry for dumping me like this... yeah!” She nodded, pleased with herself.

”Harm, I won’t be calling you.” Spike said, frustrated and tired of how slow she seemed to be. ‘God, how could he actually have dated her? Maybe it was because you actually didn’t care how she was, or how she sounded, as long as she was blonde and easy… Okay, maybe that was a bit harsh… Maybe she wasn’t so bad…’

”Excuse me? You will be calling me, Spikey. I’ve done everything for you, how can you just leave me like this?” Harmony whined, and didn’t notice that Spike yawned tiredly, before looking back at her with a bored expression.

”Well, it’s been nice Harm. But you know, I’ve gotta get on with my life. So do you,” He said and shrugged.

”You’re such an asshole, Spike!” Harmony shouted angrily, looking kinda funny, since she looked just like a pissed off Barbie doll, with her big blonde hair, her pink lips, her big brown eyes that looked dangerously close to popping out of their sockets. She then she stomped away from him, and went to the door, but not before turning back to him, saying, “And if anyone asks, I dumped YOU!” And with that, she was gone.

”Thank God.” Spike mumbled, before he went to sit down on the couch, watching TV, trying to get over the traumatizing “girlfriend,” that was called Harmony.

______


Buffy was sitting on her bed, feeling sorry for herself, when there was a soft knocking on her door. Buffy didn’t answer, already knowing who the unwanted guest was, and just stared stubbornly at her hands when the door was opened.

”Hey,” Spike said, and went in, before closing the door after him.

”I’m still mad at you, so there’s no point in you going in here, trying to beg me for forgiveness—“

”Uh, actually, I was looking for a pen?” Spike said, and shrugged.

”Oh,” Buffy said, and her eyes flashed hurt for just a second or two, before she went back to staring at her hands. “There’s a pink one at the desk. Not like I’m gonna let you borrow one, or anything, cause I’m still not going to forgive you.” Buffy said, and cringed inside at how lame she sounded. “Anyway… I’m gonna go soon, so hurry with whatever you—“

”I dumped Harmony,” Spike cut her off, and offered her a weak smile, before sitting down next to her on her bed.

”Oh,” Buffy said, and sounded interested, then scolded herself for behaving like a pathetic 12 year old girl with a crush. ‘Don’t look weak, Buffy, make him pay for hurting you.’ “And that’s interesting, because?”

”Well,” Spike began, and smirked saucily at her, giving her his famous bad boy look, while slowly inching closer, staring at her lower lip that she began to chew on in nervousness. “Maybe… you’ll forgive me soon?” He said breathed out on her neck, making her smile for a second, before changing into her scolding face.

”N-no,” she said, and closed her eyes as he darted out his tongue to lick a long trail on her neck. “Stop it,” she said, trying to sound firm, but it came out more like a needy whimper.

”You know you want me Buffy,” Spike mumbled, nibbling and licking at her sensitive skin, and pulled her body closer to his. Buffy was still having her eyes closed, and a grumpy look plastered on her face, doing any thing she could, trying not to moan, or touch him.

’You’re so pathetic. Are you just gonna sit here and listen to him? Push him away, he lied to you, he was with someone else while he was smooching with you.’ Buffy sighed. She was so pathetic.

”Spike,” she said and sighed, before pushing him away. “I’m gonna be downstairs, and uh, do… something,” she said, as she got up from the bed.

”I’m sorry Buffy,” Spike said, and looked desperately at her.

”Yeah, sure,” Buffy said, before she went downstairs.

______


“Hey,” Spike said as he entered the living room, finding Buffy sitting on the couch, watching some show on the TV. He stopped for just a second, to look at her since she didn’t answer him, but then shrugged it off, and instead thought of something to say. “So… Where are the lovebirds? Still not home yet?” He asked, before he plopped down next to her on the couch. Buffy just looked at him with an empty look, before her glance went back to the TV. Spike sighed, and frowned when he saw what she was watching.

”…and then I found him in bed with my best friend! And then he had the nerve to tell me that it was my fault,” a brunette young girl on the TV shouted, as the crowd gasped and began shouting insults at the guy sitting next to her.

”Baby, I’m sorry, you know I am,” the pathetic guy on the TV pleaded.

”I can’t take you excuses anymore, we are through—“

The TV screen went blank as Buffy turned it off, before turning to a frowning Spike, giving him a 100 watt smile.

”They just left. Did you want something?” She asked, and gave him an innocent look.

”Buffy, what do you want me to do?” Spike asked frustrated. “I know that you’re upset—“

”I’m not upset.” Buffy said simply. Spike sighed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

”Can’t we just go back to the hating? It was so much simpler back then,” Spike said, and before he had anytime to react, Buffy’s smile was gone, and she was staring at him.

”You just don’t get it, Spike?” She said and shook her head at him.

”Well, then explain why you’re so upset. I’ve said that I’m sorry.”

”I just… I need proof,” Buffy said.

”What do you mean with ‘proof’?” Spike asked, confusion written all over his face.

“Well…” An evil smile was slowly making itself known. “You know, I still haven’t gotten over that traumatizing weekend, where I was your personal slave.”

”Why do I get the feeling that I’m gonna regret this later?” Spike said and groaned, before he turned back to Buffy. “Sure, I guess that’s only fair. What do you have in mind, oh holy master of mine?”

______


“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Spike muttered in disbelief.

”What? You don’t like the colour?” Buffy asked innocently as she held up Spike’s hand to inspect his newly painted nails. In pink. “Personally, I think it’s cute. Gives you a kinda innocent and adorable girly look, you know,” Buffy said and smiled.

”I’m not supposed to look cute,” Spike whined. “I’m a badass, not some pink dressed, silly girl.”

”What do you mean with ‘silly girl’?” Buffy asked, eyes sparkling as she looked at him challenging.

”Nothing, nothing at all,” Spike said, and shrugged.

”Hey, you better watch it, or you might end up in a matching dress,” Buffy threatened, and pointed a finger his way, as she went up from the bed, and walked around in the room, as if she was looking for something. “Now, if I could just find a pink ribbon—“

”Sorry, won’t complain again,” Spike said quickly.

”Good. That’s good.” Buffy said and nodded importantly towards him. She then went to sit next to him on the bed, before letting out a sigh. “So... You wanna do something, until the nails are dry?”

”Like what?” Spike asked.

”Well, I don’t know. Maybe we can play Truth or Dare?” Buffy asked, and tried not to sound too excited about it. Truth was that she had been tempted to play it ever since he proposed it when they were on that camping trip. But then he had just been trying to piss her off, so she had said no, as usual. “If you want to, that it,” she added.

”I thought you didn’t wanna play games that were so; let me think, ‘immature’?” Spike asked with a smirk.

”What? It’s not like we got something better to do?” Buffy said stubbornly.

”Sure,” Spike mumbled after a while, and leaned back slightly. “You start.”

”Okay. Truth or Dare?” Buffy asked and giggled slightly at the worried look Spike had on his face.

”Uh, Truth?”

”Okay… Have you ever fantasised about someone in our school?” Buffy asked, her green eyes unusually wide, as she stared at him.

’Was she kidding?’ Spike wondered in amaze. He was a 17 year old boy, not a nun for crying out loud.

”Uh, sure?” He said and shrugged. “I mean, yeah I have. My turn,”

”Who?” Buffy interrupted.

”It’s not your turn,” Spike explained.

”Can’t you tell me anyway?”

”Why should I tell you if it’s not your—“

”Okay, okay. I get it. No need to get all cranky.” Buffy said and pouted. “Just ask sometime today, will you?”

”Truth or Dare?”

”Do I really have to pick?” Buffy asked in a pleading tone, and then rolled her eyes at the evil glare Spike sent her. “Uh, whatever… Dare,” she said after a while.

”Okay… Let’s see here…” Spike mumbled, and looked as if he was thinking really hard, before his whole face shone up in a cruel och evil smirk. “Why don’t you just do a little dance for me,” he said and wiggled his eyebrows as his tongue went out to lick his lips suggestively.

”What?” Buffy asked, and frowned. “What do you mean? Why should I—Oh… eww, no! I’m not gonna ‘dance’ for you,” she snorted.

”Well, it’s not exactly like you have a choice, really,” he said.

”I thought that I was the one who was gonna be the puppet master for this weekend?” Buffy whined.

”Why is that, love? You want me to dance for you?” He asked and grinned at her.

”No, I don’t want anyone dancing for anyone, especially not you,” Buffy huffed.

”Come on, it’s not like I’m gonna run around the block, screaming on top of my lungs that I’ve seen you dancing for me. Besides, since you’ve already seen my private parts—“

”Can we *not* mention that, in oh let’s just say, never?” Buffy said, and blushed.

”Oh, now I get it,” Spike said and let out a small laugh. “You don’t want to see me naked again, because you’re afraid that you can’t handle my very manly and muscular body.”

“Okay, I’ll dance for you!” Buffy said after a while. “But only because I don’t want your ego blowing the house up, and I’m so not gonna take any of my clothes off. And there will be no touching. Of any kind,” Buffy explained, as she slowly got off the bed. She went to stand in front of a staring Spike, before her shoulders slumped. “Can you stop looking at me? You’re making me nervous.”

”Then what’s the point if I can’t look?” Spike asked and smiled at her.

”Just… I’m just gonna look silly, so, no laughing.” She said, and pointed a finger at him warningly.

”Cross my heart,” he mumbled, never taking his eyes off her.

Buffy went to her CD-player and put on a slow song, but still with a good rhythm, and just stood there, with her back to him, trying to catch her breath. It wasn’t like this was her first time. Hell, she had danced like that since she was 13, and always imagined that it was he who was holding her, tracing his hands over her shoulders, whispering--

”Buffy?”

Buffy jumped a little when she heard Spike’s voice behind her, and slowly turned, and offered him a small smile, before she let her body relax. ‘Close your eyes and everything will be fine. Just don’t look at him.’ Buffy closed her eyes, and slowly inched closer to him. ‘God, this is embarrassing.’ She waited for a few seconds, before she stretched her arms up in the air, slowly moving her hips to the rhythm. The song continued to play, and she continued dancing. She drew her fingers through her hair, keeping her eyes closed all through the time.

Buffy was unconsciously inching closer to him, and tried not to tremble as she felt his arms loosely grab hold of her around her waist, drawing her closer to him. Buffy shuddered slightly as she felt him pull her shirt up, making her bare and tanned stomach fully visible. She let out a moan of surprise as she felt him kiss his way up from her stomach, forcing her to open her eyes. His hands travelling over her butt, to take hold of her hips. The world was gone, and all she now could see was him. How did he make her feel so special?

”You’re so beautiful, my Buffy. So amazing,” he mumbled, making her smile. ‘This was heaven. There was no place that she would rather be at.’ “So wonderful, so…” And then he was quiet for a while, making Buffy worried. ‘Did she have eczema or something? God that would sure be embarrassing. Then, Buffy heard a shocked and amazed, “What the hell is that?”

Chapter 12:

Dearest Diary,

Spike is an asshole. I can’t believe him! He called me stupid for getting a tattoo! He’s the one who’s stupid… that stupid guy… Anyway, Giles has been giving me these looks… Weird looks as if he knows something about me, that I don’t know that he does, but he still knows it. You know what I mean? Well, I think he’s been behaving really strange lately… You can only hope that mom hasn’t talked him into having a talk with me about penises. I mean, can you really picture Giles, cleaning his glasses while explaining that it is highly important that you put on the condom right, or if not, there might be a risk of getting babies. If you can, then, wow, gross mental image much? Spike is such a dumb-ass! Oh, I’ve already said that… well, he really is, and I should be writing that on all pages, but I’m lazy, so… 2 times will be enough for me… I don’t think that Spike’s gonna tell mom about it… Well, I don’t think he dares to, since I then threatened to burn all of his CD’s and posters… God, he can be so sensitive sometimes. He was practically crying like baby when I *accidentally* stepped inside his room, and *accidentally* stepped on one of his Sex Pistols CD’s. I mean, what kind of idiot has his CD’s on the floor? And it wasn’t my fault that it broke into 1000 little pieces, although Spike blamed EVERYTHING on me, like he always does. I even had to pay for that crap! And Cordy’s party is tomorrow. But I don’t know if I wanna go or not yet. Angel’s probably gonna be there, and who knows what he’ll say to me, or what I’ll say to him… And Spike will probably be there too. Since Cordy IS one of the popular girls in our school. We’ll see if I’ll go, but probably not. Anyway, I’m hungry, so I’m gonna go downstairs and see if mom is done with breakfast yet… I’ll write in you later, thought.


_______



”What’s for breakfast mom?” Buffy asked as she entered the brown and beige kitchen, trying to ignore Spike’s eyes as he practically stared holes in her back. The burned smell made its way to her, and Buffy wrinkled her nose in disgust. “What’s that gross smell?” She then saw her mother turn to face her with an angry scowl on her face.

”Please, Buffy, don’t talk to me right now. I’m really late for a meeting, and I’ve already sent Rupert the wrong papers, and now I’ve burnt the pancakes.” Joyce managed to get out as she ran around like crazy in the kitchen, taking up papers and such as she put the frying pan in the sink.

”Joyce, you’re sure that there’s nothing I can do—“ Spike began softly, but was cut off by Joyce.

”Oh no, William, you shouldn’t, I mean - I’m just a bit stressed, I’m sorry that you have to see me like this.” She rambled, before she smiled weakly to him.

”Okay.” Spike said after a while.

”Well, I’ll see you two later then. And Buffy, why haven’t you gotten dressed yet, oh and behave, and don’t do anything stupid like—“

”I know, I know. Gee, why do you always expect me to do something bad? I mean, Spike’s also a ‘hormone crazy’ teenager,” Buffy defended herself. “It’s not like he’s innocent, like that time when—“

”Bye Buffy,” Joyce called out as she slammed the front door shut, leaving Buffy and Spike alone together.

”Sleep well?” Spike asked suddenly, as Buffy was on her way to the refrigerator.

”Why do you care?” Buffy asked sullenly, but still stopped to look at him.

”Well, that tattoo looked really—“

”Would you lay it off, Spike? I could have 100 tattoos, and it would still be none of your business.” Buffy snapped.

”There are more of them?” Spike asked in disbelief. “I just can’t believe how your mum wouldn’t notice it. I can’t believe how you could be so stupid,” he continued.

”Yeah, right, and that’s so not the same thing as when you pierced you nose when you were 15, which by the way made you look like a total geek, since you were always pulling at that ring all the time,” Buffy said and rolled her eyes at him and the memory.

”Hey, that’s a whole other thing. I mean, I was a rebel, and – wait a minute, did you just call me geek?“

”Of course not, Spike… Of course not,” Buffy mocked as she looked at him with a small smile.

”What’s that supposed to mean?” Spike asked defensively.

”It’s just…” Buffy sighed as she looked at him with a fake sad look plastered on her face. “I don’t exactly know how to say this to you Spike, so I’m just gonna say it.” She said, and took a deep breath, before saying, “You were so totally a geek when you were 15.”

”I was not!” Spike said, as he looked at her with horror written all over his face. “You’re the one to talk, pet, since I remember a certain girl wearing a brace and glasses in the fifth grade.”

”Shut up!” Buffy said quickly, as her face colored. “Those were just reading glasses, and back then, green was a really cool colour, and so what, I wanted nice teeth,” Buffy defended herself as she put her arms over her chest. “But at least I didn’t write sad poetry about girls I couldn’t get even if I was the only person left on the planet,” Buffy said, and smiled as she saw Spike’s wide eyes. “Yeah, I knew all about that, Mr. Poetry Guy.”

“Well, at least I haven’t been lusting for a brooding, hair gel guy, for the past three years,” Spike said, and stood up from where he had been sitting at the kitchen table. “And I haven’t been a fan of Spice Girls…” Spike continued. “Or change that, at least I’m not STILL a Spice girl fan.”

”How the hell did you know that? The only person that knows that is Cordy,” Buffy said confused.

”I have my connections,” Spike explained and smirked evilly at her.

”Well, at least I’m more punk than you are,” Buffy said with a cruel smile. Spike let out a laugh.

”You? Punk?” He said between laughter. Buffy just stood there.

”Yes, you heard me. I’m *way* punkier than you,” Buffy said.

”First of all, punkier?” Spike said with a snort. “Second, you’re wearing a hello kitty t-shirt, how punk can you be,” he said with an eye roll.

”Hey, I’m not gonna listen to a wannabe punk, who by the way, has pink nails,” Buffy said triumphantly, as she glanced down to Spike’s painted nails. Spike was quiet for a while.

”At least I still don’t have a pig who’s name is Mr Gordo,” Spike mumbled.

”You’re stupid, do you know that?” Buffy said. “And you know what Spikey; I’m forbidding you to say anything offending to me. ‘Cause you are my slave, right Spike?” Buffy said, and continued without waiting for him to reply. “Hm, I’m thinking of changing your name… Maybe Sarah? Nah, that doesn’t fit with your look... Maybe, Sally? Yes, I think that’s the name for you.” Buffy said with an evil smile.

”What?” Spike asked in disbelief. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. You’re not gonna call me Sally,” he said, as he began taking small steps towards her.

”What? You’ve got a problem with that, Sall—“ Buffy went silent as she was suddenly pushed up against the wall, with Spike holding her hands on her back. “Hey, let me go!” She said angrily and tried to wriggle free from his grasp. She let out a laugh as she felt one of his hands beginning to tickle her left side. “S-stop it, o-or I’m gonna scream—“ she managed to get out between her giggles and gasps.

Eventually, he let go of her, but not before bending down, and whispering in her ear, “You promise to be a good girl now?”

”No,” Buffy said stubbornly, but when she felt his hand beginning to tickle her again, she almost shouted, “Okay, okay! I give up!” Spike backed away from her, with a triumphant smirk plastered on his face as he did so. “Geek,” Buffy mumbled under her breath. She saw Spike’s eyes narrowing dangerously, and decided not to push it. For this time, anyway. “I’m just gonna go and change clothes, then I’ll come down here again,” Buffy said, as she began to back away from the room.

”Sure pet,” Spike said, and gave her a small smile.


_______



“What are you looking at?” Buffy asked as she came down the stairs, finding Spike sitting on the couch, looking at a book, with a smile playing on his lips. Spike looked up at her with a frown, before smiling again.

“Just some funny pictures, ‘s all,” he said with a shrug. After just a few seconds, he felt the familiar smell of Buffy flooding his senses. She always smelled the same. Vanilla and the faint smell of which he couldn’t put a name on. The smell that was just hers. The Buffy smell.

”What funny pictures?” Buffy asked curiously, as she tried to get a hint of what he was looking at. “Have you found a Playboy or something?” Buffy asked with a hint of annoyance lacing her words.

”No,” Spike said defensively. “Stupid bint. I’m just looking at some old pictures,” he explained. Buffy furrowed a brow at that, but didn’t say anything to protest. She glanced at him and saw that he had suddenly stopped smiling, and wore a sad and remorseful look on his face. Buffy looked at the picture that had made him depressed and saw his mother. Buffy didn’t know what to say so she just sat there, next to him, looking at the picture of the pale, blue eyed and blonde woman that were smiling at them.

”Does it hurt?” Buffy asked suddenly, surprising both herself and Spike. “I mean, I know that it hurts, it’s just… I know what she did to you, you and your dad,” Buffy’s voice drifted off, and she looked away from his intense stare.

”I don’t think about her that much,” Spike said, his voice empty and emotionless. “It feels better if I don’t think about her,” he explained. “I mean, you don’t have a dad, or at least not one that’s present, you should know how it feels.”

”I miss my dad.” Buffy said simply.

”I know,” Spike mumbled.

Both of them were quiet for a while, before Buffy leaned over, and changed page. Both of their faces lit up when they saw a picture of a much younger Spike, holding a book tightly to his chest, while he was glaring at a younger Buffy, who was grinning into the camera, her green and big glasses sitting slightly crooked on her small nose.

”God, I was such a dork back then... I must’ve been like 8 when this picture was taken, right? We so hated each other back then,” she said and smiled.

”Yeah, well, I always thought you were kinda cute back then,” Spike confessed.

”What? Are you kidding me,” Buffy asked and giggled. “I had glasses that were practically as big as my head, and I always broke your stuff. Oh, do you remember that action-figure you used to have?”

”Yeah, and you pulled his whole bloody head off when I insulted your Barbie.” Spike said with an eye roll. “Didn’t you have that crush on the ice-cream man in that age?” Spike asked and smirked at her.

”Hey, I was 8 years old, and he gave me ice-cream, it was just love at first sight,” Buffy defended herself, but couldn’t help but blush at the embarrassing memory. “And besides, if you took away all those pimples, and 10 years, maybe he would’ve been cute.” Buffy shrugged.

”Sure,” Spike said and smirked.

”Those were good times,” Buffy sighed happily.

”They were, indeed,” Spike mumbled. “Now, about that tattoo--“

”Spike,” Buffy groaned, and looked at him with an annoyed glare.

”What?” Spike asked innocently. “Just wondering why you’d choose ‘Naughty’?”

”Wouldn’t you like to know,” Buffy said with a smirk, and before Spike had anytime to reply, Buffy had already disappeared.


 

Chapter 13:

”What are you up to?”

Buffy swirled around as she heard the familiar voice cut through the – just a second ago - silence. She sighed, rolling her green eyes to show him how annoyed she was at him, then turned around and continued searching for a pink lipstick, that both made her lips look natural, and yet colourful. She didn’t even have to see him to know that he was behind her, and turned to him, before he had any time to say anything.

”I’m going to Cordy’s party,” she said simply.

”No, you’re not,” Spike said.

”Of course not,” Buffy muttered to herself, and turned her back to him, and tried to concentrate on the lipstick, but let out a frustrated sigh as she heard him yawn tiredly behind her. “Did you want something?”

”No, do you?” He asked innocently.

”Agh, would you stop it? I’ve already talked to mom, and she was okay with me going to Cordy’s party,” Buffy defended herself.

”Well,” Spike said and rolled his eyes. “Maybe that’s because you said that you and Cordelia was gonna sleep at her moms place, with an actual adult in the house. And where there’s not an orgy going on in the living room.”

”Orgy? There’s gonna be an orgy?” Buffy asked with a frown. “Oh! You’re a guy, what do you think of this dress? Is it nice? Does it look too red with the shoes, or should I change to skirt instead?”

Spike tilted his head slightly to the left, and let his eyes wander up and down her body, with a hesitant expression on his face.

”Are you gonna wear *that*?” He asked with a disapprovingly grin plastered on his face.

”Yes? What’s wrong with it?” Buffy asked, and immediately went to stand in front of the mirror, looking for any wrinkles or stains on the dress. “Too much red? I knew it! Oh, I’m gonna look like such a disaster at the party,” Buffy whined. “It’s better if I don’t go at all.”

”Yeah, you shouldn’t go… I mean, it’s gonna be really dull… and boring, and pukes all around, and did I say that it’s gonna be dull?”

“So I’m what, not allowed to go to the party? I’m not your sister, Spike, so stop trying to protect me, okay?” Buffy said and glared at him.

”I’m always gonna protect you Buffy,” Spike said calmly, and waited a few seconds before he looked up and met her gaze. “You know that.”

”Well, Spike, what are you gonna do at the party? Drink some beer, get drunk, and screw some pathetic Harmony look-alikes?”

Spike closed his eyes briefly, and Buffy could see his jaw tightening as he looked at her with a mixture of frustration and hurt.

”You can go. I don’t care,” Spike said angrily as he walked out of the room. Buffy sighed and stared at the door, regret written all over her face.


_______



Buffy smiled brightly as she saw Cordy coming over to her, her dark blue dress fitting perfectly on her tanned body, as she seemed to be holding a glass of wine.

”Hey Buffy, I’m so glad that you came,” Cordy half yelled over the loud music, and then looked around with an almost disappointed look, before adding, “But where’s Spike? Didn’t you two go together?”

”Oh, he’s just--“ Buffy said, but before she had anytime to explain what a total bitch she had been just half an hour ago, Cordy lost attention of her, and smiled brightly to someone who was standing behind Buffy.

”Riley! Hey, over here!!” Cordy shouted and waived him and his dark haired friend over. Buffy recognized both of them immediately. They were both players in the Sunnydale football team, and always had at least three girls hanging after them, desperately trying to gain their attention. Buffy, on the other side, had never had any interest in either Riley or his friend Parker. And now they were coming towards her and Cordelia.

”Hey Cordy. Buffy,” Riley said and nodded toward both of them, and gave Buffy a quick smile, before he turned all of his attention back to Cordelia, who started to laugh hysterically at everything he said…. It was kinda creepy.

Parker, on the other hand, didn’t stop staring at her, until Buffy was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable, and excused herself from the group and went to the other end, trying to find someone she knew from school. She frowned when she saw Xander, and then her whole body tensed as she saw Spike standing next to him, a glass of beer in his hand as he seemed to be laughing at something Xander had said.

Buffy thought about going over and apologizing, when she suddenly was caught staring by Spike, and her heart immediately fell when she saw him staring at her coldly, before whispering something in Xander’s ear and disappearing through the doors. Buffy mentally kicked herself. This was her fault. Why couldn’t she just have agreed on what he had said? This was a stupid party anyway, and she would’ve had it twice as good if she had stayed home. ‘This can’t possibly get any worse,’ Buffy thought bitterly, and then couldn’t help but roll her eyes as she saw Angel in the crowd, making his way towards her. ‘This is just my luck,’ Buffy thought.

”Hey Buffy,” Angel said and gave her a small smile.

”Hey jerk,” Buffy said and gave him a 100 watt smile, before turning her attention back to the crowd.

”Ah, are we still not over it?” Angel asked with a sigh.

”Are you still a jackass?” Buffy asked.

”Come on, it wasn’t that bad,” Angel said with a shrug. “I can understand that you where just a bit nervous, seeing me and all. I know that you’re not used to getting any kind of attention of the other sex, but let’s just face the facts, Betty, you’re just not worth it, and even thought you may not wanna realize it yourself, guys will,” Angel said cruelly and laughed at her.

”Oh, I’m sorry, where you talking to me?” Buffy said, and pretended like she hadn’t been listening, while it took everything she had trying not to cry in front of him. “I was just looking at your awfully big nose, really, you should see if you can get it fixed or something, it’s really distracting,” Buffy said and gave him an evil smile, before she walked away from him, not waiting to see his reaction, even thought she already knew that he was pissed.


_______



Buffy couldn’t believe it. It wasn’t true. Buffy’s emotions were running wild in her head as she stared with her mouth open at Spike, and Cordelia who was supposed to be her friend, flirting shamelessly at the other end of the room. The emotional Buffy, wanted to go over to them and kick Cordy’s fake ass, and then neuter Spike for making her feel this way. But then there was the smart Buffy, who wanted to think everything over rationally, and who actually understood that Spike was just doing this because she practically called him a slut (‘can you call a guy that, but whatever’). Unfortunately, Smart Buffy was currently on vacation, and now it was emotional Buffy that were making the decisions.

Trying not to cry, Buffy checked the room, and when she found the person she was looking for, she went with a settled expression over to him, and gave him her best adorable smile, before saying, “Hey, I’m Buffy, wanna do something?”

”I know who you are. And what did you have in mind?” Parker said, giving her a sleazy smile, before he looked her up and down, before his gaze settled on her eyes. “Do you wanna go to the kitchen and talk?” He asked.

”Sure,” Buffy said, and quickly glanced behind her.

Yep, Spike was looking all right. And Cordelia looked at her with a pissed off expression. ‘Yeah, see how you like it,’ Buffy wanted to yell in his face, but settled with just giving him a smile, before she and Parker went out from the crowd and into the kitchen. Buffy was relived when she saw that the kitchen was empty, that is, if you didn’t count the blond guy that was sleeping on the floor behind the counters. Buffy went to lean on one of them, and watched the Parker guy go to the fridge and take out two bottles, one green and one white, before putting them down on one of the counters, and on his way, getting two glasses.

”Want some?” He asked, and didn’t even bother looking at her, as he poured the liquid into the glasses.

”I-I don’t know. I’m not allowed to drink,” Buffy said, and was beginning to feel uncertain. ‘Are you stupid, Buffy? Did you really think that he just wanted to talk?’

”Neither am I.” Parker said and gave her another one of his sleazy, yet mysterious smiles. “Come on, you’re not one of those girls who can’t go anything, because their daddy’s says so,” Parker said.

”I don’t have a dad,” Buffy said, her smile tight as she glanced at him.

”I don’t either... And I certainly don’t miss the bastard… Another thing we have in common,” Parker said and smiled. “Hey, aren’t you sister to that Spike dude?”

”What? No! We’re not in any way related, how many times do I need to say that,” Buffy asked irritated.

”Geez, just wondering…” Parker said, and put his hands in the air in defence.

“Sorry,” Buffy apologized and sighed. “I’m just not in the mood.”

Parker didn’t say anything, just drank down the liquid in his glass, before holding up the other glass to her. “You sure you don’t want anything?”

Buffy got pictures in her head of Spike, and Cordy pressing her body up against his, smiling and whispering something in his ear, and how hurt and betrayed she had felt, and the jealous look Spike got when she walked away with Parker…

”Sure, why not,” Buffy mumbled and accepted the glass, and drank down everything at once. “Mmm, fruity,” she said with a goofy smile on her lips.
 

Chapter 14:

”You know, ‘s not like I, like, wanted to break up with him… He’s just such a total jerk! He doesn’t care what I want, or what I need, or… what I want,” Buffy slurred as she looked at the small glass. “Do you know what I mean?” She asked Parker who sat next to her.

He had been busy looking at her chest, and just mumbled a small, “huh?” in response.

”Awww, that’s so cute!” Buffy outburst happily and pinched his left cheek, making him winch slightly.

”Uh, sure,” he said. “So, do you wanna go up stairs?”

”…and then, he has the nerve to flirt with my best friend,” Buffy continued, ignoring his question. “I mean, do I look like a total slut or something? I don’t exactly smooch around, just ‘cause I just broke up with someone. Yeah, you know what, he’s a slut. A-a man-slut!” Buffy said, and nodded to herself. “Yeah, a man-slut is what he is.”

”Yeah, he’s a slut and all, but what do you say about going upstairs? I’ve heard that they’ve got these really nice beds there…“

”Huh?” Buffy said, and it was her turn to be confused. “I’m not sleepy!” She said with a smile.

”I know you’re not,” Parker said and showed her a cheesy smile, as he let his hand touch her cheek gently. “You’re so pretty,” he said as he leaned into her face.

”Oh, look!” Buffy said and ducked, just as he was about to kiss her, making him kiss her hair instead. “I’ve got a stain on my dress! Isn’t that just weird?”

”God, what’s wrong with you?” Parker asked frustrated, as he stood up from his chair. “I don’t care about your boyfriend, cuz I’m here to have fun, and I thought that you were too, but apparently I was wrong.”

Buffy just looked at him with confused eyes. “Wha’?”

”See ya around, Buffy,” he said, before he went out of the door, leaving her alone in the kitchen… or so she thought. Buffy just shrugged, before she drank the rest of the liquid in the glass. “I’m Miss lonely,” she began to sing between giggles. “So very lonely… I’m totally on my own…”

“Well, hey there Buffy,” a male voice was heard behind her. “I see that you’re alone. No guy that wants you? Well, I told you so.”

”Leave me alone, stupid Angel…” Buffy mumbled as she looked into the empty glass and let out a sigh, as she tried to stand up, and would’ve fallen if he didn’t catch her. She tried to shrug him off, but began worried as he then held her more firmly. “Let me go Angel,” she said, and tried to sound firm, but it was hard since everything in the room was spinning.

”And what if I don’t?” He asked.

”I’ll scream,” she said.

”No one will hear you,” Angel said with a laugh, and let his hand wander up her left thigh, as the other hand had a firm grip around her waist.

Buffy tried to push him away, but then realized that it was no point since the whole room was spinning, and that every time she moved, she felt like throwing up. She did an attempt to struggle, but then felt him grind into her behind, letting her feel his growing erection.

”Stop! Let me go,” she began shouting, almost panicking, but was shut up when a hand came to cover her mouth, as the other one went to wander up and down her red clad stomach. Suddenly, she heard the door open, and shortly after that, she was on the floor. She heard different voices, but ignored them. All she wanted to do was sleep.


_______



”Buffy?” She heard a male voice whisper, as someone shook her shoulders lightly. “Buffy? Wakey, wakey?” She opened one eye and was surprised to see Spike’s best friend Xander kneeling beside her. “Are you okay? You just passed out.”

”Oh,” she said, and was going to get up, when the room started spinning again, and she grabbed Xander’s outstretched hand. “I’m just peachy! Ugh, stop spinning, or I can’t see you,” she mumbled as she grasped her head.

“How many glasses have you had?” Xander asked, shocked and confused.

”Weeell,” she drawled and pretended to count on her fingers. “Much more than my fingers, I think.”

”Oh man,” Xander said as he looked around himself, thinking. “Could you wait here? I’ve gotta get Spike-“

”No!” Buffy’s eyes widened. “I’m not talking to that jerk, a-and besides, I can handle myself just fine, thank-you-very-much.”

”Wait here,” Xander said almost sternly, making Buffy frown.

“Whatever,” she mumbled, before she crossed her arms over her chest, and watched Xander hurry out from the kitchen. But it didn’t take long before she had passed out again.


_______



Buffy slowly opened one eye and saw that she was in a car. Or so she thought. Yes, she was in a car, she stated after she smelled the familiar smell of cigarettes and… leather? She opened both eyes and rolled over to see Spike driving.

’Uh oh, this was not good.‘

She just sat there and looked at him. He knew that she was awake, but for some reason he ignored her.

”Spike?” She asked.

Still nothing.

”Spike? Where are we?” Buffy asked with a frown and tried to get up, but the alcohol was still working its own will in her head.

”How could you be so stupid, Buffy?” He asked, with no emotions visible on his face. Buffy didn’t answer. A few minutes later the car stopped and he pulled out the keys, and for the first time looked at her. “Did Angel touch you?“

”I don’t wanna talk about it,” Buffy mumbled angrily as she opened the door, and tried to get out, but as soon as she was out, she fell down on her butt. Almost two seconds later Spike stood at her side, and took hold of her hand and dragged her up.

”Come on,” he said as she pushed in the other direction, refusing to go after him. “Would you stop being so stubborn for just a second here? I’m trying to help you.”

Buffy just stayed quiet, until one hand came up to cover her mouth, as she mumbled a painful, “Oh god, I think I’m gonna…” Shortly after that, she had emptied her stomach on nothing other than Spike’s beloved car. Suddenly, she began sobbing, and sat down on the ground again. “Oh god, I’m soo sorry, I-I didn’t mean to…”

”That’s… okay,” Spike said after a while, trying not to look at his car. He bent down next to her, and picked her up in his arms, without any protests from her side. She quickly took her arms around his neck, and breathed in his scent. He smelled like cigarettes, leather and that smell that she couldn’t describe. The Spike smell.


_______



15 minutes later, she was lying on her bed, her teeth brushed, and in her pink pyjama. Spike entered the room, but stayed in the doorway.

”Um, thanks… you know, for not telling mom or Giles about this… you’re not gonna tell them, right?” Buffy asked with wide eyes.

”No, I’m not gonna tell them,” he said and smiled slightly.

”So… You and Cordy, huh?” Buffy said, trying to joke it off, but it came out in a strangled voice. ‘Stealthy, Buffy… really stealthy.’

”What?” Spike asked, and looked both confused and amused. “Where did you get that from?”

”Well, besides the whole me seeing you two flirting and touching, I don’t know where I’d gotten it from,” Buffy said, trying not too sound too jealous.

”Please,” Spike said and rolled his eyes. “Don’t you think that I’ve noticed that she’s got a ‘crush’ or whatever on me?”

”You didn’t exactly seem to mind too much,” Buffy said sarcastically.

”Buffy,” Spike said and sighed. “The only reason that I actually went to that stupid party was to protect you.”

”What?” Buffy asked with a frown.

”It’s just… It’s nothing, I’m just gonna go now, leave you alone so that you can get some needed rest-“

”Don’t go,” Buffy said quickly. “I mean… Can’t you stay?” She said and smiled before she patted next to her on her bed. “Pretty please?”

”I don’t know if that’s such a good idea…”

”No, I-I didn’t mean it like that, just sleep. I want you to sleep with me, uh, I mean *next* to me, not *with* me, you know?” Buffy said and blushed.

”Buffy, I still don’t think that-“

”What, can’t you control yourself?” Buffy joked. When she saw Spikes face, she let her face fall and her mouth form to a ‘O’. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled, now embarrassed.

”No, it’s okay.”

”Are you sure? I mean, I’d rather have you sleeping next to me, than being alone,” she said. “I know it’s much to ask from you, but-“

”Okay.”

”Okay?”

”Sure,” he said and smiled. “If you’re sure?”

”Oh, I’m completely sure,” Buffy said and nodded.

”Good,” Spike said as he began walking towards her.

”But you can’t sleep naked,” Buffy quickly said as he stood next to the bed.

”Wasn’t exactly planning on that,” Spike said and rolled his eyes.

”Well that’s good, cuz, you know, I don’t exactly wanna wake up with your private parts touching me… Uh, I mean… Not touching like that, just… I’m gonna shut up now,” Buffy said, as she opened the covers for him to join.

After a few minutes both lied in bed, thinking about each other. Spike had his back towards her, and didn’t notice that she was staring at him.

”Spike?”

”Yeah?”

”Can I ask you something? Something really private?”

”Sure.”

”Well… I was just wondering… Well I have been wondering for quite a while now… Would you like to be my first?”


 

Chapter 15:

”Well… I was just wondering… Well I have been wondering for quite a while now… Would you like to be my first?”

Silence.

”Spike?”

More awkward silence.

”Look, I know that it came out kinda bold and all-”

”’Kinda?’” Spike said for the first time. Buffy was surprised to hear slight hysteria in his voice.

”Forget it; just forget that I ever said anything, okay?” Buffy mumbled, trying to keep flush off her face, even though he had his back towards her.

Buffy had no idea why she had said that. She had no idea why Spike was acting like this, but it was absolutely driving her crazy. When she felt him turn towards her, she closed her eyes and got prepared for his rejection. All she wanted to do at the moment was to make the time stop, so that she could jump out of the window, and hopefully, never come back.

”Buffy?”

She opened one eye to look at him, and when she saw his soft expression through the darkness, she let out a sigh and opened both to stare at him.

”You are the most beautiful and amazing girl that I’ve ever met,” he said and even though Buffy barely could see her own hand in the moonlit room, she could see Spike’s eyes, that were practically glowing.

”Oh, um… Thanks?” She said after a while.

‘Was that it? No rejecting? No ‘oh I’d love to be your first,’ or ‘no, but thanks anyway.’ What was that for an answer? Was she supposed to guess now? Gee, how nice of him.’

”But…?”

”…But I don’t deserve you.”

’Okay, that was NOT expected.’

”I - what?” Buffy asked, confused.

”You deserve someone better than me, someone who can make you happy,” Spike continued in the same tone.

“But you make me happy!” Buffy said, and didn’t know what to feel at the moment.

She had just made herself as vulnerable as possibly, asking him if he could be her first. And he says that he doesn’t deserve her? When he didn’t answer, she climbed out of the bed, and almost tripped in her hurry to get away from him.

“I just can’t believe you!” Buffy almost shouted, and she could feel the lump in her throat grow and the tears sting in her already shiny eyes. “I – I ask you to be my first, and you say that you don’t deserve me? D-do you really think that I just woke up one day, thinking, ‘oh gosh, what could I possibly do today? Oh, why don’t I just give away my virginity to the closest guy around?’”

Buffy knew that she might have sounded a bit crazy, and since Spike didn’t do anything to answer her, she just went up to the bed, and snatched the pillow he ‘had’ been resting his head on, and began walking out of the room.

”Where are you going?” He finally asked.

“I’m not gonna sleep in the same bed as you, Spike, I’m sleeping on the couch! Oh and why don’t we just blame this whole thing on me being drunk?”

”Come on, Buffy,” Spike tried to reason. “I didn’t mean it, I just-“

*SLAM*

Left was Spike, trying to grasp what had actually just happened.


_______


”So… Williams’s birthday is coming up soon. What do you think that we should do, Buffy?” Joyce asked and turned to her daughter, who was at the moment sitting at the dinner table, supporting her head with her hands, as she let out a heavy breath.

”Ignore it, just like you ignored mine,” Buffy muttered, whiteout her mother hearing it. It had been two days since her and Spike’s argument, or whatever you should call it, had occurred, and everything had gone back to pretty much normal. If extreme sexual tension, and wanting to hump his bones, and at the same time punch him in the face, was normal, that is.

”What was that?” Joyce asked, not taking her eyes of the paper she was currently reading, across the table.

”Oh, I just said what a great idea it would be to have a party, right in this house, with all of his friends here, and celebrate his *very* special birthday,” Buffy said, her words so heavy with sarcasm that only a deaf person would fail to notice… or a very busy mother.

”Well, I think that’s a wonderful idea, Buffy!”

Buffy barely resisted the urge to bang her head against the table.

”I’ll go and tell Rupert right away,” Joyce said happily, and was about the leave the room, but not before saying, “I just want you to know that I am very proud of you, Buffy. I didn’t think that you actually could behave nicely towards each other, but now I’m glad that I was wrong.”

”Oh god,” Buffy groaned and hid her face in her hands in frustration. She didn’t even bother to look up when she heard the door open and close.

”Hey Buffster!”

She took away both of her hands and suppressed yet another groan as she saw Spike and Xander standing in front of her, and instead smiled brightly… towards Xander.

”Hey Xander.”

“So, I see that you’re feeling better since the last time I saw you,” Xander said with a smile, and sat down in front of her. Spike, on the other hand, didn’t say anything other than something about being back in a second, as he went up the stairs.

Buffy blushed at the memory.

”Oh, um, I’m so sorry about that, I didn’t mean-”

”That’s okay, I’m just glad that I could help,” Xander replied with a light shrug. ”So, did Spike fret about it? He wasn’t too harsh on ya, I hope?”

”No, he was cool… about it,” Buffy said quickly.

”So, are you gonna give Spike something for his birthday?”

”What?” Buffy asked and then remembered Spike’s birthday. “Oh, well… I thought that my undying hate for him would be enough for a present.”

”Ouch.” Xander said. “But, I guess it’s the thought that counts,” he said, and Buffy smiled. “Uh, anyway… I just wanted to ask you something, and you can’t tell anyone this!” Xander said seriously, making Buffy frown.

”Uh, okay, I promise?”

”Ehum…” Xander turned slightly pink, making Buffy frown even more. “Well, since you’re a girl, well, I just wondered… Um, I have this friend… and he would really like it if you could give him a dress that you’re not using.” Buffy’s frown turned into a big smile, which she tried to hide.

”Oh, really? Can I ask what your ‘friend’ would need one of my dresses for?”

”Well, I’m seeing this girl, Anya-“

”You’re not seeing Cordy anymore?”

Xander’s eyes seemed to get a darker shade, for just a second or two, before he answered in a different voice, “no, we’re not together anymore.”

”Oh, sorry,” Buffy said and offered him a weak smile, before asking, “so, this ‘Anya’, huh?”

”Uh, yeah…” Xander said and blushed once more.

Just then Spike came down the stairs, and looked suspiciously at both of them.

”What were you talking about?”

”Nothing!!” Xander said quickly. “I was not asking Buffy anything, since we didn’t talk… at all, right Buffy?” Xander said quickly, and turned towards Buffy, who nodded, before locking her gaze with Spike for a moment.

”Right.”

”Anyway, we should be going, so let’s get going, Spike,” Xander said and almost ran out of the door. Spike stayed, though, still looking at Buffy.

”I’m sorry about… you know… I never meant to hurt you, love,” Spike mumbled softly.

”Okay… I’m sorry for going all bitchy Buffy on you, I have a tendency on doing that sometimes,” Buffy said, and shrugged.

”Yeah, I know,” Spike said, but only smirked when he saw Buffy’s pissed expression. “You’re just crazy about me, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about, pet,” he said simply.

”Gee, ego much?” Buffy said with an eye roll.

”I’ll see you later, okay?”

“We’ll see,” Buffy said nonchalantly, and pretended not to care, while her stomach was doing flip flops.

Now she just had one problem.

’What the hell was she gonna give him on his birthday?


_______



Dear Diary.

Hey again, and sorry that I haven’t been writing that much lately, but I’ve been really busy. The latest thing is what to buy for Spike. I have absolutely no idea what to give him!? What could you possibly get for the guy that you really like, but still isn’t too much since there probably will be a mom and Giles watching? So, it’s not like I can give him something TOO nice, or TOO thoughtful, just enough to make him, *ooh!* Do you get it? Well, anyway, the friendship between me and Cordy is officially over. Do you know what she did today? She actually CALLED me to ask me if I could ask Spike if he was *into* her? God, how stupid does she think I am? And school is soon starting… *Yay... Not* Okay, well, I guess that’s it for now… Bye!



_______

 

Chapter 16:

_______


Hey Diary,

Well, I don’t know what to write, really… Still with the ‘not knowing what to give Spike for his birthday,’ and the constant annoying pain in the butt Cordy has become. God, it’s like having your very own personal… clingy person. Anyways, hope that I won’t see her for a while. At least not until school starts and she will annoy me again. Still having issues with Spike… but I think that it’s better now, since he actually didn’t tease me, annoy me, or make fun of me (which actually includes all of them, but whatever) for a whole day. I’m thinking of buying a CD or something to him…. Since I stepped on his Sex Pistols CD for a couple of weeks ago. Which he still hasn’t forgotten, by the way, and is trying to remind me of it every minute he sees me. So, technically, it would be a gift to both of us.

Yours sincerely,
Buffy.

_______


Buffy breathed in and out a couple of times. OK, she was ready. Yes. She was just about to enter the living room where her mother sat, watching TV, when she quickly took a step back.

‘I can’t do this,’ she thought.

But she had to. She had been planning on telling her mom about Spike and the kissing-ness and stuff for a really long time now. But then again, maybe it was for the best if she didn’t tell her, you know, spare her the shock and disapproval of her. Buffy knew that it wasn’t true; that it would only get worse the longer she kept ignoring the facts. But seeing her moms face when she told her? That would be major badness and not to forget, embarrassment.

Without much thinking, she braced herself and went into the living room, to sit down next to her mom.

”Hey mom!!”

‘God Buffy, could you possibly sound any more hysterical?

Joyce looked at her in a funny way, before she gave her a small smile and said,”Is this about the car again? Because you already know my opinion about you and cars.”

”No, it’s not about the – wait, you mean I’m not getting a car when I’m 17?” Buffy asked, but after seeing her moms stern expression she rolled her eyes and said, “OK, we’ll discuss that later, but anyway, what I wanted to talk to you about…” Buffy trailed off as Joyce turned the TV of, and focused her entire attention on her. Something Buffy really wasn’t used to. “Um, as I was saying… I need your advise about something - mom, do you have to look so intense, it’s kinda creeping me out here?”

“I’m sorry honey, but it’s just that the last time you ever wanted to ask me about my advise was when you where five, and that was when that boy next door kept teasing you about your nose-“

”OK, that was something I really didn’t wanna remember, but-“

”Oh, god! You’re not pregnant are you?” Joyce said, and now it was her turn to sound hysterical, as she began babbling non-stop, not letting Buffy cut her off. “I knew that I should have given you more books, about the facts about having sex, how could I just forget to buy that one, when that was the reason that I was so worried in the first place, since teen-pregnancies are getting more usual every year, and-“

”MOM!” Buffy shouted, effectively making her mom go quiet. “I’m not pregnant... Sheesh!” She said and frowned. That was something she didn’t think she would say until she was at least 20… The ‘pregnant’ part, not ‘sheesh.’ ”It’s not that, it’s… Well, I know this *girl* that’s been having these… I don’t know what to call it, um, slightly un-hateful feelings about a certain person.” ‘Wow, way to go Buffy. That actually sounded almost convincing.’

”Oh?” Joyce said and nodded. This was a much better subject than the ‘I’m pregnant,’ that she had been prepared for. “Does this *girl* see this certain boy often?” She asked.

”Um, well, I guess it happens that they cross paths… he can be around sometimes… and he can be pretty goofy sometimes, make her laugh and such… but mostly he’s annoying, especially when he hangs around his friends, then he’s just trying to be tough, but I know that he’s sweet deep under… Err, I mean, she does,” Buffy quickly corrected, and missed Joyce’s knowing smile.

Joyce always knew that Buffy had special feelings for Xander, that had started ever since he started coming over, but that she had *these* kind of feelings, she did not know. Well, she was happy that Buffy finally was letting her into her personal life. Even if Buffy wouldn’t admit it herself.

”Well, I think that this *girl* should tell the boy how she feels, since, by the sound of it, she might be in love with him,” Joyce explained, and smiled when she said *girl*.

At that sudden comment, Buffy almost choked on her own tongue. Her mom knew she loved Spike? Her mom was not freaking out, calling out to God what she possibly could have done wrong with her only daughter? Her mom was actually encouraging her to say that she loved him? What kind of drugs was she on?!

”I… wow, you really think so?”

”Yes, if that’s how she feels then she should tell him, that’s only fair.”

”Thank you mom,” Buffy said, and threw her arms around her mom to embrace her in a tight hug, smiling the whole time. “I’ll go and tell her that.”

”You go and do that, sweetie,” Joyce said as they let go of each other.

”Thanks again mom,” Buffy said as she walked out of the living room, feeling as a heavy burden suddenly had been lifted away from her chest.


_______


Buffy was unconsciously rubbing her hands together, trying to take away the nervousness and fear that she was currently feeling.

Something would go wrong tonight. She didn’t know what, or why, only that it would. It was her Buffy instinct that had told her this, and it was not making this day any easier.

About two hours ago Spike’s party had started. After the four hours of panicking, freaking out, and feeling like throwing out her whole wardrobe out of the window, Buffy had finally chosen to wear a pretty little white skirt, and a pale blue halter-top, that would expose just the right curves. Even her mom had liked it, (which really wasn’t that usual, since Joyce always had to explain to Buffy that some things just aren’t appropriate to wear) and told her that it brought out her eyes.

Later on, the guests had started dropping in, and within half an hour the house was practically full of dancing teens. When Buffy had walked around, searching after Spike, she found Cordelia, who had been very not-invited.

”Cordy, what are you doing here?” Buffy almost shouted over the music, and tried to keep her voice as calm as possible.

Cordy sent her an icy look, the same one that she used to send the people she really didn’t like, and said in a dreadful tone, “well, apparently someone forgot to invite me, but I’m glad that your mother didn’t have the same problem.”

At that Buffy was silent.

”What’s the matter, Buffy? Afraid that I’m gonna take away your little step brother?” Buffy grit her teeth as she started at the girl that had been her best friend just a week ago, that now had turned into a cold hearted bitch.

Cordy leaned closer, automatically making Buffy turn her head in anger, but she could still hear the words. “I know what you’re doing, Buffy. I’m not stupid.” And with that, she was gone.

Buffy tried to control her breathing. This was not good.

’I know what you’re doing, Buffy.’

What had she meant? Did she know? Was she going to tell? No, Buffy quickly thought. She couldn’t know.

Buffy was interrupted by someone grasping her arm, making her spin around, ready to send the person an evil glare, but her face immediately softened when she saw who it was.

”Spike.”

”Saw you talking to that Cordelia girl,” he observed, moving his glance away from her eyes to look at Cordy who now was flirting with a guy that looked much older than herself. “You’re not friends anymore, or somethin’?

”You could say that,” Buffy said and rolled her eyes. Suddenly the hand he had on her arm made her feel tingly inside, and she gave him a warm smile. “Do you wanna go upstairs?” At Spike’s confused look, she immediately changed her words. “Uh, you know, so that you can get your present?”

At that, his response was a smile, and she laced her hand in his as she dragged him up the stairs to eventually stop outside her room. She quickly opened the door, and when both were inside, she closed it. After seeing Spike casually sitting down on her bed, she turned around and tried to hide the blush that slowly crept up her cheeks. She went to her desk, and picked up the wrapped present, before sitting down next to him.

”I don’t know if you like it, but…” Buffy trailed off before she handed him the gift, watching gas he carefully opened it.

The genuine smile that graced his lips when he looked at the DVD with Sex Pistols best songs, interview and more, then Buffy couldn’t help but smile too.

”Since I kinda broke your CD…” Buffy explained and once again blushed. “And when you think of it that way, I really haven’t bought you anything, since I said that I was gonna buy you a new one, which I never did, cuz hello, I was-“ Buffy was effectively shut up when she felt herself get pushed towards a hard body, lips meting hers in a hard kiss, making Buffy’s eyes wide, but after just a few seconds she relaxed against him, and began kissing him back.

They only separated when they needed air, but it wasn’t long enough since Buffy could feel herself get slightly dizzy. Spike’s tongue searched hers, and Buffy opened her mouth almost immediately to let him in. Buffy pulled her hands up to play with his hair, as Spike put his hands around her waist, and she straddled his lap. Suddenly he pulled himself away from her lips, and fell down onto the bed.

He tried to search her lust filled eyes and after a while mumbled, “you know we can’t, Buffy.”

”I know, William,” Buffy said, and Spike didn’t know what took him by surprise the most, that she had called him William, or that tried to pull down the zipper of his jeans. Halfway down, Spike took hold of both her hands, forcing her to look at him.

”We can’t,” Spike said more strictly this time, as he saw Buffy try to catch her breath.

”Can’t we just… C-can I see it?”

Spike closed his eyes at that.

’Not gonna do anything stupid, not gonna do anything stupid….’

”What?” He asked in an almost hoarse voice. She was so innocent, so adorable, and so bloody perfect. And she was all his.

”Can I see it?” She asked again, and this time there was a sparkle in her hazel eyes that he hadn’t noticed before.

Spike felt as if he couldn’t talk, so he just nodded as an answer.

‘Pull yourself together, mate,’ his inner voice said to him, ‘you’re acting like this is your first time.’

Buffy thought that she actually was gonna puke, so nervous was she. What if she would do something wrong? What if he left her to be with someone more experienced, that didn’t act like their legs turned into jelly every time they saw him?

Buffy swallowed hard, as her small hand inched it’s way closer to his pants, slowly pulling the zipper down the rest of the way, and she had exactly got her hand into his pants when-

”Oh god, William! I am so sorry; I didn’t know that you were... BUFFY!?!”