Chapter 8

Lilea entered into the shop and she looked around amazed. A myriad of colors were shining around her, some lights were quite faint but others seemed so vivid that she could almost see the real form. She couldn’t remember seeing such a variety of colors, even in the demon bar she went to with Spike lately before arriving in Sunnydale she hadn’t seen such energy.

She walked slowly, tapping her way with the stick. “Hello?”

“The shop is closed, be back in a couple of weeks!”

Lilea turned toward the voice and she gulped. Definitely a demon’s light.

“I was… I was looking for Anya.”

“You found her, it’s me.” Anya was standing in front of the girl who was staring at her with a sort of embarrassment mixed with what could be… Could that be fear?

“I need to speak with you alone.” The foreign girl seemed more unsure.

“We are. My associate is in the basement.”

Lilea handed her the note.

“I need your help,

don’t speak about this with anyone.

I’m outside the back door.

I haven’t got much time.

Spike”

“Spike is back?” Anya didn’t hide all her wonder at the news. She, like all the scoobies, thought Spike was a closed story.

The girl nodded. “But he doesn’t want people to know.”

“The Scooby gang won’t be pleased about this.” She paused for a moment. “I can’t leave the shop now. I have to wait for someone to get back or for Giles to come out of the cellar.”

“If the shop is the problem, I can look after it for you, until you come back.”

“Oh come on, you’re blind, you can’t look after anything.” The demon girl was quite straight in her speech.

“True, I am, but he -” she pointed to Navarre “- isn’t. Believe me we’ll take care of the shop.”

“Don’t steal anything! And don’t let anyone in.”

A young boy entered the shop, exactly at that moment. “Kid, the shop is closed, leave.” Lilea couldn’t avoid an amused smile. The impolite manners of this demon girl were quite funny. Spike had strange friends in Sunnydale.

She saw Anya’s colors move toward what, she guessed, was the back door. She didn’t hear the guy walk toward the door, until now. Parquet on the floor was really helpful in checking the movement of people. She looked in the direction of the boy.

She saw a little light moved toward the door. She called the wolf, pointing at the walking light.

“I’m sorry kid, I think you forget something,” she said, with a tone that didn’t show any doubt.

“What?” The boy’s voice trembled.

“You forget to put down the little thing you just took,” she said with a very self-confident tone.

“It’s not true!” Again the guy’s voice trembled badly.

She extended her hand. “Give me that back and leave.”

“You’re blind! You can’t see if I have something!” Now the kid’s voice was more full of rage than anything else.

“I said give me that back or I let the wolf take it from you,” she said in a polite tone, but letting him understand that the threat was pretty serious.

“You’re crazy! I didn’t steal anything form this lousy shop.” The young boy was starting to yell.

“Navarre.” Lilea pointed at the boy and the wolf started snarling and barking.

A voice came from the back of the shop.

“What’s happening here? Anya?”

The guy protested. “You stupid bitch!” Then he threw the little pendant he was going to steal at Lilea and ran out of the shop.

She caught it in the air. Well definitely this pendant was really magic.

“I’m sorry for the noise,” she apologized “You’re the owner, sir?”

“Yes. I am.”

“Then I guess this is yours.” She moved carefully toward him. He had a glowing sphere with him, or at least it glowed for Lilea.

The girl hoped the man hadn’t notices her expression when she heard his English accent. Spike was English too. She shouldn’t be so obsessed about the Council. Spike wouldn’t let her run any risks giving her with the Council again.

“Erm, I told Anya I would look after the shop… she’ll be back in a few minutes…”

“Strange, she didn’t warn me.” Giles looked at the girl, becoming a little more nervous.

“It was a sudden engage, she didn’t know…”

“Oh, so you are a friend of hers.” The man’s voice was casual and polite.

Lilea was also sure he was a little astounded by this Anya-Demon-Girl leaving the shop, and he wasn’t wrong to be so astounded, so she smiled at him.

“A friend of a friend.”

The former librarian looked at the girl, realizing he was interrogating her.

“I’m sorry, how unthinkably rude of me, I’m Rupert Giles.” He moved closer in order to shake her hand.

“I’m Lilea.” The girl extended her hand toward the voice, missing him completely, but Giles, realizing, grasped it in his. Lilea smiled, a little embarrassed.

“I would give you a chair… But honestly I haven’t any clue where Anya put any of them. But if you excuse me for a minute I’ll get one.”

“I really thank you, sir, but I’m leaving… If you are here then I am not needed here anymore.”

“Aren’t you going to wait for Anya?”

She shook her head. “I guess it’s OK with her, if I go.” The girl called her wolf, and walked toward the open door.

*

“I’m not saying he’s a monster of liking, but he’s strange, I still don’t know if he’s cool…. He’s interesting.”

“Good or evil… like Snyder?” The Witch asked her.

“Even Adam was nicer than Snyder!”

The three girls entered into the shop without really paying too much attention, banging against Lilea.

The wolf snarled at them.

Lilea opened her eyes wide: she could recognise the energy she had seen at Spike’s place the night before. Near there was a very powerful green one and the third was also strong several shapes of color, very dark in some places but very brilliant in most parts, streaked with what she guessed to be pain.

“Sorry, we were distracted…”

Lilea smiled, “I was distracted too, it’s ok.”

Buffy looked at the girl with a little more attention, and her expression changed: the white cane, the candid innocence of her face, she was without any shadow of doubt the girl in her dream.

The wolf smelled the power in the three girls and kept snarling.

“Navarre, cut it out. They’re… friends.”

The animal moved its head under Lilea’s hand and she gave it a light scratch. “Come on, puppy, we have to go.”

Buffy couldn’t take her eyes off the girl.

“Sis, are you ok? You’re pale.”

“That... girl, I dreamed about her? She’s in danger.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely… she’s going to be killed!”

“How?”

“A vampire,” and she felt silly not being able to pronounce Spike’s name.

Giles approached the door looking as the girl moved away.

“She’s Anya’s friend. I think we should warn her.”

“I’ll follow her.”

“How long? Let us speak with Anya, before we do anything.”

Chapter 9

Spike threw his cigarette down when the door opened. He checked it was the person he was waiting for before stepping forward in order to be seen. He nodded to her with a tiny gesture of his head.

The girl in front of him was clearly embarrassed.

“Hi…” She smiled, looking toward the door.

“How are you?”

Anya had the strange feeling he really cared about the answer, as if he really wanted to know. “Better than last time.” She smiled at him again.

“Good. I’m glad of it.” He paused, breathing deeply. “Anya, I need you help.” He said, without any pause.

“I don’t know if I can.”

“I need to contact Giles. It’s very important.” His tone seemed damn serious, and so did the determined light he had in his eyes.

“Oh, is that all? Easy.” She shrugged.

“I knew I could count on you.” Now he seemed relieved as if she had just saved his life. His eyes were shining now with a grateful light, something she couldn’t remember having seen from him before. Something had changed in him.

“He’s living at Sunnydale Motel at the moment.”

“Is he here again?” She nodded.

“He came back after Tara’s death.”

“Oh God. Is she… when?” His expression changed again, as if in a moment he remembered all the times he had met the dead wicca.

“The day after you left.”

“How… is Willow?”

“She’s healing. She went all crazy and tried to destroy the world, but you know Xander saved all of us.” Spike could hear pride in her voice.

“You’re again… you solved your problem, didn’t you?” He asked with a half smile.

“We’re not a couple officially, we’re trying and we have a lot of sex.”

He smiled. “Has he started to respect you?”

She smiled but didn’t answer. “He’s still very mad at you,” she said with a sad thoughtful voice.

“I know.”

“Not for *us*… for Buffy…”

“He’s right to be mad, and I really can’t blame him for that,” he almost whispered.

“I’m sorry.” She answered in the same way.

“Yeah, well. That’s not why I need to speak with Giles.” Spike tried to avoid the topic. He always did that, when he was uncomfortable.

“Really?”

“The girl who gave you the message. She is the reason. I need his help. She needs him.” Again that firm gaze. Was he really so worried for his odd friend?

“Oh, ok I’ll tell him. She’s strange, she stared at me as if she could see me.”

“She probably can, you’re a former demon, so she can probably see you quite well.”

“Not former.” Anya’s voice was a mixture of pride and regret.

“You’re a vengeance demon again?” She nodded. “Oh, congrats, you, lucky girl!!!” Anya smiled, he was the only one who had congratulated her for no longer being human, without remarking on how silly her life as a human had been.

“I’m not the only one here who’s changed, am I?”

“How… yeah… Well. It’s done. It’s not something I like to talk about.”

Anya stared at him for some time. He wanted her to keep it secret? Even with Giles? Could she deal with that? He helped, when Xander dumped her he was there for her. Ok, they both went too far that evening, but he was so caring and sensitive and understanding. Definitely she could help him, she owed him that, at least.

“Tell him I’ll wait for him tonight, when the shop will close, at my place. Tell him it’s about the slayer.”

“I’ll bring him myself, I promise Spike, by the way the shop closed months ago.”

“Oh.”

“Willow destroyed it. But it will open in a week”

“It must have been a great show, I’m sorry I missed it.”

Anya smiled at him again. “I have to get back inside.”

He nodded.

“I’ll tell Giles.”

“Don’t tell *anyone* but him I’m back. I’ll leave soon probably.”

“I like knowing you’re back.” She looked at him for a second, then she gave him a big hug, quite unexpected. He embraced her back for a moment, then she ran away.

“I’ll tell him,” she whispered again before vanishing through the door.

***

Spike started to worry now. It had been hours now since Lilea had given Anya the message.

The door opened slowly after just one knock.

“Where the bloody hell have you been?” The vampire yelled even before turning toward the person walking in.

“Sorry?”

Spike looked toward the crypt entrance. “Oh, it’s you…”

The watcher looked at the blond vampire in front of him, without speaking, simply staring at him and strangely this seemed to affect the guy. “Anya said you were back.”

Spike seemed nervous. It was the first time Rupert could remember the vampire having a problem speaking with him. The guy was avoiding his gaze, looking at him for a brief moment and then staring at the door.

“Yeah, well just for few days.”

Was he pretending to be casual in his answer? “She said that too.”

Then the blond guy stared at the watcher’s eyes, asking, “And you’re going to stay?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.” The older Englishman answered, trying to figure out what the vampire had into in his mind.

“Buffy must be very happy about your return.” Was emotion what the blond vampire was trying to hide?

“I guess she was, she is.”

SILENCE

Spike poured a big glass of scotch.

“Do you want some?”

Giles shook his head, while the vampire sipped his glass slowly.

The vampire downed his drink. “It’s about the slayer.”

Again SILENCE.

“Spike,” Giles’ voice seemed quite pestered. “Why do you need to speak with me?”

The vampire ended his drink in only one sip. “It’s about the slayer.”

“Try and make Buffy's life harder and I’ll dust you myself.” The Watcher's voice was decided and firm. But Spike couldn’t understand if Giles knew what he had done.

“I know you’d try,” Spike smirked.

“So, what do you want?”

Spike emptied the bottle into his glass.

“When Buffy died the first time another slayer was activate. What happened last year?”

“You mean after Buffy’s…” Giles avoided the word. He took his glasses off and started to clean them. “This time it didn’t happen.”

“You would know?”

“Well I guess the Council would tell us. Spike, what’s the point?”

“I think you’re wrong. There is another Chosen One.”

“Impossible, there are two already and Dawn is a sort of slayer, too.”

“You’re not listening to me. I’m saying THERE IS another one…. Bloody hell, woman, where in hell were you!” He said both statements as if they were just one, without stopping himself.

“You already asked it to me.” The watcher turned toward the door.

“Shut up , watcher!”

“I was exploring the town. You didn’t say how much time you needed.”

“You didn’t tell anyone else I was back, did you?”

“I promised! Of course I didn’t tell anyone.” Lilea was a little vexed. “I *AM* trustworthy.”

“She’s right, you have to be more respectful,” Giles added, with an ironic tone. It was quite fun to see this girl with the vampire. He knew she wasn’t a vampire because he had seen her walking in the sunlight. She seemed fragile and resolute at the same time.

“I said shut your mouth, watcher.”

She made her way toward the stairs. “By the way," she added, descending them, "next time I could do that, I’ll tell everybody your secrets.” There was laughter in her voice.

The vampire stared after her as vanished downstairs and kept staring at the hole in the floor she vanished into, silently, listening to the sound of her cane on the stairs.

The watcher waited a few moments, then again he started to fret. “Spike come on… what’s the point?”

“The point is that I know we have another slayer, and vampires aren’t the thing she has to worry about the most.”

Giles adjusted his glasses. “I’m having trouble understanding what you are talking about.”

“I want to let you know that I think this girl is the new slayer and both the Initiative and the council are trying to kill her. So you have to protect her. It’s *your* duty, not mine. I *kill* slayers.”

“This is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard.”

“You fool! LILEA!!!!!” he cried. “Come here, we have to show something to this stupid watcher.”

“What’s wrong?” The vampire aura was shining with dangerous colors.

“Just defend yourself.”

The girl held her cane tightly. “Spike you’re scaring me.”

He moved toward her and she stepped back.

He punched without much violence, he didn’t even feel any pain in his head.

“Spike, stop it!” the Watcher warned, but the blond vampire didn’t seem to have any intention of stopping himself. He wanted to hit her harder.

“Spike, I’m not going to be shown like a circus freak!” He gave a kick, which she parried. He did it again and again.

“Spike stop it!” Lilea knew he didn’t’ really mean to hurt her because his chip still didn’t activate, but what probably he didn’t realize was it was how deeply this was hurting her. And her anger was growing.

Her eyes filled with tears of rage. He tried to hit her again and, this time, she reacted. A couple of movements and he was on the ground, scrubbing the corner of his mouth with his fist. It was bleeding.

“You see, Watcher, she’s as strong as Buffy. You have to help her.”

“She’s undoubtedly strong, but this doesn’t mean…”

“Idiot! Let them kill her then! I won’t let her die without a fight. I’ll train her, I already did.. I’ll watch her back. That bloody council. I just wish I massacred everyone in that useless circle. And if anything is going to happen to her I’ll do it, even with this bloody chip in my head. They want to kill their own slayer, and then they say vampires are the animals. At least we’re not supposed to have souls, what’s their excuse? ”

“It’s impossible.” The watcher’s mind answered that they had already tried to do something similar to Faith, but they had some reason for doing that, not a good reason, but there was thought behind it.

“If you don’t want to help her go away right now. And forget everything, We leave town tonight.” Spike’s eyes were flaming.

“You think fighting well is enough to make you a slayer? ”

Spike opened his mouth but he didn’t say anything, He simply turned and walked down the stairs.

He watched her. She was packing.

“What in hell are you doing?”

“Moving”

He was downstairs with a jump. “Why?”

“Why?! You tested me!! What’s next? Kill and dissect me in order to see how I work?”

“I had to prove to him you’re the slayer.” Lilea refused to look toward him. His face was stunned. He was trying to understand what she was doing. Perhaps if she would look at him now, his colors would tell her exactly this.

“I’m what? I’m nothing. I’m no one. No, I’m the one who's leaving.”

“Please, don’t.” This time he just whispered with a husky voice.

“I hate being tested. Spike, I can’t bear it anymore. It’s… I simply can’t.”

“I was trying to save your life.”

“Have you any idea what being examined means for me? Goddess, every time I hear that word I see my baby on that table and…” Her voice trembled badly “I have to go now.” Her voice was barely audible.

Lilea could see Spike a few inches from her. She felt his hand on her shoulder. She moved slowly towards him.

“Luv, I’m sorry. I don’t say that often, but I am now. Really I am.” She nodded “I’ll never do that again if you don’t want to.” He paused, then he leaned his head against hers, until their noses caressed each other. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. Will you stay?”

Lilea nodded again. “I need fresh air,” she breathed.

He escorted her above.

Giles stared when they appeared again upstairs. The vampire and the petite brunette were standing with their arms around each other. The girl had her head leant against him. Spike kept her cane in his hand, she leaned almost completely against him and that allowed her to walk without needing it.

“ We never saw each other tonight, Watcher. We didn’t talk, you don’t know I’m back. And I’m not, because we’ll leave - you told me not to make Buffy’s life harder, remember?”

“I can keep it secret.”

Spike opened the door and Navarre was there.

“Where you have been, puppy?” He barked repeatedly. “Navarre?”

The wolf walked away a little, then started to bark again, then he moved further still.

Spike felt Lilea tense against him.

“Something is happening, isn’t it?” She took her cane from Spike’s hands. “I’m right behind you, Navarre, run.”

The girl left Spike. He started to chase after her. They didn’t care about Giles. The watcher closed the crypt door and walked behind them.

“Oh no!” Lilea ran as fast she could, following carefully every change of direction of her animal’s color.

Chapter 10

Dawn was lying on the ground, crouched against a tree. Buffy was standing a few inches away, protecting her badly injured sister, ignoring her own injuries.

“Dawny, keep talking, please.”

“It hurts, Buffy…”

The slayer kept repelling vampire attacks. She was so tired. Her pain was growing worse, but all she could think about was that Dawn was hurt and she needed to go to the hospital. And she wondered how the social services would react this time. They sent Miss Kroger when she broke her arm. Buffy was sure this time they would take her sister away. Of course, that would only happen if they survived, and she wasn’t very confident about that right this moment. She remembered what she said when Glory kidnapped Dawn. ‘The last thing she'll see is me protecting her.’ She didn’t want it to happen. Not now, not in this way, not ever.

The closest vampire hit Buffy right on her bleeding arm. She moaned, dusting him, fighting fiercely to hold back the tears that stopped her from seeing what was happening around her.

***

Lilea recognized the girls in front of her, their lights were unmistakable. She could also see the growing fear in both the girls’ auras and their physical pain.

“Spike, take care of the girls, I’ll take care of the vampires.”

“The contrary would be better.”

“I don’t care.” Then loudly she said, “Oh vampires, this is making me so scared.” What she was saying, and, more than that, the ironic tone in her voice made the demons turn. “Ok, I’m not so good at pretending.” And this time she really was lying.

She was now just a couple of steps from the first one.

“Three girls in one night. I love these evenings.”

“I love this too... ” She was waiting, it was obvious. She wasn’t going to attack first. She was studying them. She had a satisfied smile on her face while the stupid vampires were moving toward the blind girl.

Moving toward Buffy, Spike looked at her. He had never seen Lilea so relaxed: she seemed extremely confident, and she appeared more adult than he was used to.

The new slayer’s cane started ducking and weaving, in an almost hypnotic way.

*

The vampires didn’t notice Spike join Buffy. She was staring at the strange woman. How could she protect both of them, another girl or her sister? How could this foreign girl be so confident with vampires, couldn’t she see their faces? God. She was blind. It was going to be a quick fight, maybe just enough time to take a breath.

Buffy stepped back toward Dawn, then she knocked against someone, and in the same moment two hands moved to her shoulders.

It was a strong grip, but not violent. Resolute but not forceful.

“It’s all right, we’re here now. Are you OK?” She didn’t move, or even answer. “Buffy, are you ok?” He forced her to turn.

She whispered his name.

*

Buffy felt completely overwhelmed. He was back and she felt lost, for the first time in months she felt vulnerable, not physically but emotionally. All the unsaid feelings, all the rage, everything she felt, after *that* night, hit her so violently.

Spike forced her to turn. She was very pale and with an indecipherable gaze in her eyes. His hand grabbed her face. “Buffy… tell me you’re OK!”

“Dawn’s hurt.” Her voice was almost a breath.

“I’ll take care of her.” His tone was reassuring, the vampire was speaking to her as if she was a child. He grabbed her wrist and strode toward the younger sister.

Dawn seemed unconscious. There was a lot of blood on her shirt. The teenager opened her eyes when the guy took her in his arms. “You’re back…”

“Of course, little bit. No one will hurt you.”

“I knew you’d come back. You promised her you’d protect me.”

But neither him nor Buffy could say if she was really awake.

*

Giles was staring at Lilea fighting. This was enough proof. Ok, perhaps the vampires were tired from the fight with Buffy, but she dusted most of them with little effort.

“Watcher, your keys!” Spike yelled to him.

“What?”

“Car keys! We have to take her to the hospital.” The watcher looked toward them: Buffy seemed scared to death, Dawn was paler than a ghost and Spike was acting as the gang’s boss. The older Englishman indicated the parked car and said he would meet the others at the hospital as soon as possible.

“Watch her back, ” Spike added before leaving, with a threatening tone, pointing at Lilea.

*

Neither Buffy nor Spike in their lives had thought a journey through Sunnydale to the hospital could take so long, but now the small town seem suddenly endless, even though the vampire was driving in a quite scaring way while the car’s engine was screaming in the silence of the quite evening.

The driver never took his eyes from the streets, except for his constant, quick glances to the unconscious girl at his side. Dawn was lying in the car, completely senseless, she didn’t even seem to be in pain, as if she was sleeping, but the pale color of her face contrasted with the big red spot on her t-shirt.

Buffy’s hand was pushed tightly on her sister’s wound in order to stop the bleeding, but the blood was flowing between her fingers. Buffy’s face was smeared with blood, as was her shirt. She was whispering tireless nonsense in the girl’s ears, and pleading with Spike to drive faster.

The vampire frantically banged on the car horn when he stopped the car in front of the E.R. “HELP!!!!” he yelled, jumping out of the car, “WE NEED HELP!!!!” - then in a second he had the teenager in his arms.

Buffy reached forward inside, pushing the car horn again while the blond guy moved toward the building’s entrance. He almost broke off the door when he opened it with a violent kick. Paramedics were already walking toward them, the noise they made before entering having caught the attention of everyone in the hospital.

“She’s hurt. She lost a lot of blood!” he yelled, almost running toward the doctors. Then suddenly he stopped and as carefully as he could he lay the girl on the stretcher they were carrying.

People kept speaking with them, asking things they both answered, barely realising what they were saying, staring at the doctors who started to move around Dawn’s body and head, checking her reflexes and things that neither Buffy nor Spike understood.

The young girl was so close to… to death. God. It was so unfair, not in this way. How many girls had Spike seen dying? Too many… But not her! she couldn’t…

Buffy screamed her sister’s name when she was carried into another room. One nurse stopped the older Summers girl from entering.

“Please,” she pleaded “I have to be with her… I’m her sister… Please… She needs me…”

She was stopped by a male nurse who was forcing her to wait outside. Then an older woman moved in front of Buffy’s path.

“The doctors are looking after your sister, but you have to wait here, it’s safer for your sister if you wait outside. The doctors can’t do their job if you’re around, they need to concentrate, can you understand that?”

She nodded, trying to look beyond the glass door to where Dawn was lying.

Just then Buffy realized that a nurse was questioning her about Dawn’s previous condition. She asked about her family, she asked if someone needed to be contacted, keeping questioning her in an effort to calm her down. So many questions Buffy hadn’t the will to answer. Questions about what happened, who stabbed her sister, how it happened. And it took a big effort to not tell the truth… her mind was absent, focused only on her sister.

“How is she?” she kept asking, but the nurse never had any answer for her. Ok, she was kind but she was also useless, if she couldn’t tell her Dawn was going to be fine.

*

Five minutes. It would have made all the difference. If only he had run faster, Dawn would be safe now. Again, just like the time before. He was never enough, even with his new stupid soul. And now Dawn was fighting for her life and Buffy was destroyed.

How long was it that Spike kept his eyes fixed on what was left of the Slayer? Her breathing was racing, her eyes wide open in a mixture of fear and desperation, constantly asking about her sister from anybody who came out from that damned glass door. And just when he forced himself to tear his eyes away from Buffy’s face he noticed her arm. How could he be so foolish and forgot that she was hurt too?

He moved closer silently, deepening his fists in his pockets. He breathed uselessly before speaking.

“She needs to be checked too,” Spike whispered, pointing at her arms, waiting for the nurse to notice.

Buffy shook her head firmly, without taking her eyes from the door. “I’m not. Not until I know how she is. She needs me to stay here.”

Spike moved between her and the emergency room, breaking her visual contact. He didn’t speak until she met his gaze. “You won’t be far and I promise I’m not going to move until you come back.” Spike stared into her eyes for a moment, but he then he looked away quickly. He wasn’t able to hold her stare. Too painful for him. “She needs her sister at her best.” He made a gesture to the nurse and moved to Buffy’s side.

The nurse observed the couple in front of her: the guy moved his hand to the girl’s shoulder without actually touching her. Was he afraid he might hurt her? Probably, she guessed. And the older lady realized that this young woman’s arm was badly injured too. Approaching the couple she could see that her patient’s sister had stopped the bleeding by holding her arm very tightly, probably without even realizing that clearly. The professional wondered also how the girl could manage to ignore her own pain.

*

Some minutes later Buffy was lying on a little bed. She had the feeling that everything was spinning around her, she felt more tired than she could remember, she had probably lost quite a lot of blood too.

Taking care of this girl lying on the bed, the nurse noticed that the girl forced herself to breath heavily to stop herself from moaning while the injury was tended to. On both the girl’s arms were evidence of several marks but more clear were the signs of her own fingers where she had held her arm too tightly. She vaguely remember the girl’s mother, they had shared some mother-to-mother chat when, some years earlier the nurse had had problems with her daughter. The lady… Joan? No… Joyce? Yeah, probably Joyce, had given her some tips that had been very helpful. The nurse and her daughter now barely had any problems. She had found out only a few minutes ago that the nice woman was dead.

“Stay here, I’m going to ask the doctor for a painkiller for you.”

Buffy nodded, closing her eyes. ‘I saved her from Glory and almost got her killed tonight. She’s just a kid. Let her survive, please let her live.’ Buffy turned her head toward the door. It was closed but through the upper glass she could see Spike grab a doctor’s arm and talk with him. The vampire’s reaction scared her, he kicked a bench near him violently, then he turned again to the doctor.

Moving was really a big effort, she hadn’t realized how weak she felt, but she walked slowly, too scared to ask about her sister.

Chapter 11

Spike saw the doctor who was taking care of Dawn walking quietly toward him. He grabbed his wrist, trying not to be too violent.

“How is she?” he asked, before the doctor had time to be scared.

“Are you a relative?” The doctor looked him straight in the eye.

“A sort of…” the vampire mumbled.

“I’m sorry then, I can’t answer.”

Spike looked toward the room where Buffy was lying. He saw her looking in his direction.

“Your colleagues are taking care of her sister in the other room. There’re aren’t any other relatives.”

“Oh, well… then…” He breathed deeply. “Dawn went into a coma some minutes after arriving here.”

“Shit!” The vampire kicked a bench in his rage. Strange, not so many years ago he would have reacted by breaking the doctor’s neck, if only he had cared about any human.

All the people in the corridor turned toward him at the kick, and a security guard moved quickly toward them until the doctor made a gesture for him to stop. The man in fact didn’t seem scared at all.

“I’m sure she will recover soon. She is strong, honestly I really was amazed she was still alive when she came here.” The doctor put a hand on the upset guy’s shoulder and Spike realized with wonder that rarely had a human spoken to him with so much care. As if he really was a real person.

“Can I see her?” he asked.

“It’s not allowed yet, a nurse is taking care of her… You’ll be able to later.”

The vampire was going to thank him, another thing he usually preferred not to do, but then he saw Buffy’s face appear behind the glass-door for a second before it opened.

*

“How is she? Is… Is…” Buffy was completely distraught, she didn’t even realize she was wearing just a very light undershirt with spaghetti straps.

“She’s alive, but…” he paused for a moment. How could he tell her that? Just say it. “Buffy, Dawn is in a coma.” The girl opened her eyes wide, they filled with tears, but she didn’t cry, she covered her mouth with a trembling hand.

“I have to see her…”

The doctor looked towards the other glass door. “It’s not allowed, but I guess I can make an exception. However, only one of you can go in.” Spike simply stepped back, no other words were needed here.

Buffy took a couple of steps, then everything seemed to start spinning around again. She raised her hand in order to lean against the wall but she missed it. All she felt a moment later was a couple of arms holding her firmly.

“You can’t frighten us in this way, luv.” His voice was sweet and whispered, but Buffy could feel how much he was scared.

The doctor was taking her pulse. “You need to rest, Miss Summers.”

“Dawn is all I need, please! I’ll be fine. I have to see her…”

He turned toward Spike. “Can you help her?”

The vampire slipped his hand behind her back, letting Buffy lean against his shoulder. He realized she wasn’t really aware of his presence, she wasn’t in the same condition she had been when Glory had kidnapped her sister, but she was quite close. She was barely conscious of her own injured arm or about her almost naked upper body.

Spike helped her onto a chair near Dawn. A nurse cleaned the blood from her unconscious body. A blood pack was now linked to her IV, and also a transparent liquid.

The vampire stared at the ruby-colored pack and he was surprised that he had no reaction. All he was able to think of was the little bit linked to it.

“I’ll wait outside, luv, take your time.”

Buffy nodded caressing her sister’s hair.

*

He walked toward the waiting room public phone, looking for a couple of coins into his pocket then he dialed a number.

“ ‘llo?” A sleepy female voice answered on the other end of line after several rings.

“Red? It’s me, Spike”

“Spike?” Willow sat straight up in her bed.

“I thought you’d want to know we’re at the hospital. Dawn is seriously injured.”

“I’m coming.”

“No! It’s dangerous, there are too many demons around! Listen, as soon as Giles arrives here I’ll come to pick you up. I don’t wanna leave her alone, I can’t.”

It was quite clear to the witch who the ‘her’ was Spike was speaking about. “I’m getting dressed.”

“She’s coming, I have to go.” He was about to hang up when a voice stopped him.

“Spike!” Willow yelled, now completely awake.

“What?”

“Thanks for calling.”

*

Buffy walked slowly toward him, holding her arms tight again around herself, then she started to move them in order to warm herself. She barely raised her eyes, even when she stopped just a few steps from him.

“They have to take her upstairs for some tests. I have to wait here.”

The slayer was speaking to him, as if they had just seen each other the day before, as if nothing had happened between them, as if he was a Scooby, without care of hide her fears about Dawn.

“It’s cold …” she said casually, and at that moment Buffy realized she only had her underwear on. She blushed violently. “Where’s my shirt?”

Spike stared at the marks the nurse had noticed earlier, and instead of answering her question he slipped off his duster and the burgundy shirt he was wearing over his black one.

He handed her the shirt.

Strange.

He helped her put it on, but after a little while he noticed that the slayer hadn’t realized that it was open, and worn like that it wasn’t keeping her warm at all.

Spike had never tried to dress her, he had honestly never thought about it. He had dressed Drusilla, he often helped Lilea with dressing but dressing Buffy had never entered his head. All he was thinking about here was simply keeping her warm, his thoughts were so far from the erotic aspect of what he was doing that it didn’t occur to him that this could affect him at all.

So, aware of Buffy’s confusion he started to fasten the first button. His hand trembled when he brushed against her skin, he tried to ignore the emotions he was feeling but he realized that he couldn’t go further.

Then abruptly, he removed his hands, letting their eyes meet. They didn’t speak, they simply stared at each other.

“Where’s Giles?” she breathed after a while.

“He was with Lilea, with my friend, he’s safe with her. They probably have a lot to talk about.”

Buffy didn’t really have the energy to ask him what they needed to talk about or who his friend was. Spike, probably for one of the only times in his unlife, didn’t know what to tell her, so they shared a meaningful silence.

“You should sit you down, try to sleep, I can call you if I see anyone.”

“So you can smooth over the news if something goes wrong?” Buffy was massaging her temples with both hands.

“No, so you won’t see me killing if someone brings bad news.” The slayer looked straight at him. It was probably supposed to be a joke, but neither of them laughed. She wondered for a moment if he really meant what he just said. He seemed damn serious.

“Honestly, I couldn’t sleep just now. And I am not going to do anything until I know she’s safe.”

“She will be! You don’t... She will!!! You have to believe that!”

“Like I did with mom?” Her voice cracked badly. “I wasn’t able to save my mom because I was too late... And I didn’t protect Dawn enough! It’s my fault... It’s always my fault!”

SILENCE.

SMACK.

SILENCE.

*

Buffy’s cheek was still burning. She covered it with her hand, staring at the guy for what seemed like an age. The slayer could see the horrified expression on his face. He smacked her in reflex, she knew it. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, even after everything they had been through she knew that. He slapped her because she was starting to panic and that wouldn’t help anyone. Not her, nor more importantly, Dawn.

“You know that’s not true. You aren’t responsible for everything that bloody happens in this world! You already went into this, when you fought Glory to save her. Buffy, you fought a god in order to save her! How in hell can this be your fault?” His voice was mad and trembling.

He just hit her *again* and all she could think of were his eyes and his cracking voice. Her sister could die at any moment and this *man* was here for her. Where in hell was everyone else? Where was her father? Where was her watcher? Where were her friends? She was alone, alone like before.

But still his face was taut from the slap. And from the uncomfortable way he started to shift his weight from foot to foot she could see he was going to leave any second. Buffy didn’t know how she knew that, but his face definitely wasn’t that of a person who was going to stay.

And then she felt even colder inside. What was that loneliness? How could she survive the icy feeling that welled up inside her? She felt just one deep shiver that she didn’t even try to fight.

How could the man she hated so deeply, and who had just slapped her, have such a caring voice, asking, “Still cold?” His voice had changed again: it was almost a whisper now, and he kept giving her quick glances, without being able to face her fully.

Buffy tried to answer but she couldn’t find the breath. She simple nodded lightly.

Spike took the duster and put it around her shoulders. She realized that he did this whilst carefully avoiding contact with her body. He had his arms open and his hands dropped the duster gently on her shoulders, trying desperately to not brush against her.

And then the unexpected happened.

Chapter 12

Spike was there, his arms still tensed, fighting the instinct to run away for having hurt her *again*, struggling desperately with the instinct to take her in his arms and hold her in order to erase her fear away, in order to stop her from feeling alone. He guessed it wasn’t his soul this time. If Buffy would let him, he would do the same without it. He had always cared. He had simply never been able to demonstrate that physically. And now, after the biggest mistake of all his life he could never even dare to think about doing it.

Then, without any forewarning Buffy moved. Just a step, not much, but it was enough. She threw herself into his arms, hiding her face against the vampire’s neck, her hands clinging to his back

For a couple of seconds Spike stayed motionless, too stunned to react, then slowly his arms closed around her, holding her tightly.

Breathing her smell again.

She wasn’t crying, she wasn’t moving, she wasn’t kissing him, she was simply inert, as if she wanted to be lost, there, in his embrace, in a safe place, as if he was *really* safe.

It was so good, it seemed so right having her so close to him, but for the first time holding Buffy in his arms didn’t inspire lust. Spike simply loved being there with the only one able to make him feel alive holding him as if she really needed him, as if he was worth of being there.

*

Probably neither of them realized how much time had passed. It was a few minutes, probably, but it seemed like a century and at the same time just a couple of seconds. It was, for the time they stayed in that position, as if they were out of time.

Spike felt Buffy hold him tighter and then release him slowly.

She stepped once back.

“You…” She gulped, closing her eyes for a moment. “I didn’t forgive you, you know that… don’t you?” Her gaze was so lost and her voice so quiet, but she was staring into his eyes.

He simply nodded.

“But… I can’t…” No one could blame her for not being able to end the statement.

“It’s not the moment, I know that, I know it's not me you want here too, but I'll wait until your friends arrive, then I'll be gone.” His words were quite hard, but his tone was sweet and caring, and smoothed them.

The only time she could remember him having been like this was the night she had come back from the grave. But now he was less amazed and more worried.

Spike’s eyes were still full of all the regret he felt for that night. “You have plenty of reasons not to forgive me, for being mad with me, for hating me. I hate myself too. You can dust me, I won’t complain. But until they arrive, let me be here for you… as a friend, or at least, if not that, someone you care for, as someone who cares for you and the little bit too.”

They stared at each other again for a time.

“I’m so scared,” she whispered.

“I know.” He moved a strand of hair away from Buffy’s face.

“I can’t survive without her…” her voice cracked and her eyes seemed to plead with him to tell her again that everything would be all right.

“You don’t need to think about this. She will be fine, I know that.” He lied reassuring her.

“Spike…if… if she gets any worse…” She breathed deeply. “Bite her, make her one of your kind.” Had he ever seen such desperate look from her?

“I would never, *NEVER* do that!” His voice was a mixture of anger, pain and shock.

“I don’t want to lose her.” Her eyes filled with tears.

“She will die - a demon will live in her body and you’ll have to kill it. Is this what you want? Killing your sister twice?”

“But we can restore her soul… it worked with Angel!” Buffy tried to defend her request, even though she knew perfectly well she would never let this happen.

“And then? She wouldn’t be a vampire, or a human, she would have an unlife, forever, is this what you want for Dawn? To be nothing, with a semi-life - no sun, no friends, no love, no happiness, nothing? You haven’t got a clue what it means. She will never grow up, she will never be free to love someone, she will never have kids… and all the time she will know that she is going against her nature to kill. I’ll be the first one to dust her if that happens.” Again his voice was full of emotion, it even trembled a couple of times.

Buffy was staring at him with a strange look he wasn’t able to decipher. He smiled at her sadly. “You want her to be like that Teddy Bear, Angel?”

“I want her safe,” Buffy whispered.

“Slayer, she will be. We’re not going to talk about this anymore.”

‘Slayer.’ This word always had a strange effect on his lips, in moments like this, Buffy noticed. He used that word in the past when he tried to piss her off, or when he wanted to force her to react. His voice was always so expressive, as much as his eyes. If she had been less tired and worried she might have wondered how a soulless undead man could seem so alive.

She whispered his name and their eyes met again. “Thanks…you're always here when I‘m miserable.” She winced. “I already said that, didn’t I?”

“Another time you asked me why?”

She smiled lightly. “I’m glad I noticed that before,” she said with an absent tone.

Spike was speechless: he really didn’t know how to react. She was acting as if nothing had happened, he hadn’t thought she would be able to speak with him in this way. In such a different way. Even in their best moments she had never spoken like that. And it had even more value since she was doing it in the worst moment of her life. So, maybe, she didn’t hate him, or at least not completely.

“Hey girl! Dogs aren’t allowed in the hospital.” The security guy’s loud voice broke the silence around them.

“It’s not a dog, it’s a wolf.” Buffy saw Spike smile at that statement.

Then a familiar male voice added, “ It’s her seeing eye dog. It’s ok.”

“It should be wearing the harness!” the guard pointed out.

“He’s allergic,” the blind girl added walking toward Spike’s energy.

*

“Did you play poker with them? You took an eternity.” Spike’s voice seemed to have once more found the hardness and the insolent tone Buffy was used to.

“Nope, they cheat more than me, it wouldn’t be much fun.” She moved closer to his ear. “So I dusted everyone.” Then, at normal volume she added, “Mr. Giles and I spoke a little, well not really a little, and he’s a lot more English than you…” She kissed the vampire’s cheek. “Sorry if we made you worry. How is the little girl?”

“Not too good,” he said, moving Lilea’s hair back as he had done earlier with Buffy.

“I’m sorry,” she said, biting her lip.

What the talking couple missed was the look Giles and Buffy shared, but what the blind girl couldn’t avoid noticing was that Buffy’s colors went crazy when she kissed the vampire. She couldn’t hide a big smile when she turned toward the official slayer.

“Lil, I want to introduce Buffy, Buffy, this is Lilea, a friend of mine.”

The girl in front of her was smiling, but Buffy didn’t care. The natural way the stranger kissed Spike’s cheek and the familiarity with which she placed her hand on Spike’s arm were unbearable. ‘An unforgivable sign of lack of respect for the hospital… patients,’ Buffy told herself.

“We brought some coffee and some donuts, it was the only thing still open, we thought they might be better than hospital food,” Lilea said nervously, confused by Buffy’s crazy colors.

“This must have been your idea, Giles would have just brought several cups of tea, he’s stingy,” the guy joked, looking quickly at Buffy to see if she was smiling.

“I’m just here, I heard you.”

“I know. It wouldn’t be funny if you hadn’t.” And Buffy seemed to smile this time. “Whatever, I still need your car.”

“No you don’t!” The Watcher’s horrified tone didn’t stop the younger Englishman.

The vampire grabbed Lilea’s arms. “Come with me.”

The girl was almost dragged away before the watcher could react to their leaving.

*

Buffy stared at them almost running away. She watched Lilea walking as fast she could, almost stumbling into her stake, with the speed at which Spike was dragging her away. The strange girl was wearing a pair of black pants, a grenadine-colored shirt and a pair of boots, the same style as Spike’s. But there was something wrong with the big trace of light gray on her clothes. It looked like … ash… DUST!!!!

“Oh God, Giles! I left you with all the vampires!” She found herself grabbing her watcher’s arms tightly.

“I need to talk to you about that…” he said calmly.

“I’m so sorry! You are OK, aren’t you?? They didn’t bite you…I mean, you’re still alive and…mad, you’re probably mad with me too…and you’re right to be because I left you in danger.” She sounded as if she was starting to panic again.

“Buffy, breathe deeply and listen to me. Do you remember the night you fought the master?” The watcher tried to carefully explain about the new slayer.

“Is the Master back?” Buffy didn’t even try to hide her fear at possibility.

“No, he’s not, listen to me. You died for a few seconds.” He continued trying to explain.

“I guess for a couple of minutes.”

“Let me finish, Buffy, please. Well, Kendra was activated.”

A suspicion knocked on Buffy’s head. “Giles, the short one…I want to check on Dawn.”

“Oh, ok. The last time you died, Lilea was called.”

“But she’s…” She frowned for a moment. “Can a Slayer be blind?”

Chapter 13

Spike was silent for a long time. It seemed pretty clear to Lilea that he had no intention of telling her what had happened. He didn’t even ask any further questions about what Giles had told her. Or if they had decided anything at all about the girl’s future.

“Did I interrupt something, earlier?” The new slayer spoke just after the car left the hospital.

“Yeah, embarrass of mine.” He said with a quiet, expression-less voice.

The girl looked at the driver again quickly. Then she crouched, letting her head rest on her knees, smiling broadly. “You know, I’d really like to see you right now.”

“And why?” Again his voice was hiding any trace of emotion.

She paused for a moment, looking toward his colors his gaze when he looked at her briefly, before looking at the roadway again. “Because you’re glowing.”

“Maybe I’m pregnant.” This time he gave a half smile, without moving his eyes from the road ahead.

“Silly!” She paused. “You know, I’m wondering what you were like before you got your soul back. I’m quite curious just now. I think I would probably have loved to meet you even before.”

“If it had happened before the chip, I would probably have had a really good dinner with you… as the first course.” Again an emotionless voice. It was quite effective how his toneless voice could be in contrast with all his colors spinning.

She stayed silent for a long time.

“Spike?”

“What?” This time he seemed a little annoyed.

Lilea bit her lip a couple of times before finding the courage to ask. “Why didn’t you tell me about being a Slayer?” She barely breathed as she said it, as though if she stopped she would never find enough courage to ask the question.

“Did Giles tell you about the ‘Chosen One’ thing? That’s why you both took an eternity?”

“The whole speech, I guess. Too bad I’m blind or I suppose he would have shown me the whole brochure. They have a sort of instruction manual, can you believe that?”

He smirked.

She waited a little while and then she asked again. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I let you live your life a little longer,” he said, without wanting to add anything at all.

“What life? Can you call what I have a life?” Her voice was barely audible.

“After this it will become worse. Smell this car. This is what I’m giving you. Can you smell their blood here? If you still don’t hate me it’s just because you’ve no idea what being the slayer will mean. You’ll hate me for this. Bloody hell Buffy died twice, and she is the strongest Slayer ever! I know that - I killed two of them!” He barely seemed able to contain his rage. He turned to look at the girl sitting beside him, giving just quick glances to the road.

“But how…”

Lilea shut up abruptly when she felt Spike’s hand just a few inches under her neck pushing her tight against the seat, just a moment before the car stopped without any warning. He usually did that every time he saw a possible danger, even though he knew she always had her seat belt fastened, in order to stop her from being thrown forward. He started to do it the first time he drove her toward the sorcerer who was going to become her master, just after he saved her for the second time.

“We’re here. I’ll be back in a few minutes. Wait here.”

*

Spike’s violent knocks at the door resounded all around, into the silence of the night. One moment later a light switched on upstairs.

“Red!! It’s me! Come on, hurry up!”

The witch opened the door in a few seconds.

“Hi Spike.” Willow’s face was a little paler than he remembered. She was tired, she probably hadn’t slept at all since he phoned her a couple of hours ago, and her expression was mortally sad.

“Hey, Will.” He simply gave her a half smile.

“I’m ready. ” She was already closing the door behind her when the vampire stopped her.

“Take a change of clothes for her.” He paused for a couple of seconds “For Buffy… hers have Dawn’s blood on them.” The last words were almost whispered. He seemed so damn hurt, and this made Willow worry more.

“Dawn’s that bad?”

He nodded without looking at her.

“I’ll be right back,” she whispered and he watched the red-haired girl vanish upstairs.

*

The vampire heard a footfall behind him, and smelt a familiar smell.

“I said to wait in the car!” His voice seemed really angry.

Lilea walked slowly toward the colored energy. She caressed his face with a sweet, compassionate smile, and then silently she embraced him.

Spike moved his shoulders a little uncomfortably. They often shared hugs, or touched each other’s arms or shoulders or hands, he supposed it was Lilea’s way of seeing, but it was the first time in a long while he had felt this feeling. “What’s that for?”

“I can tell now, I know when you’re being rude in order hide your hurt. I wanted be sure you know what a wonderful person you are.”

The vampire smirked, staring at the girl, but it seemed as if part of his pain was gone. “Can I kill you next time you analyze me?”

“Nope.” She was smiling sweetly against his chest.

“Are you sure?” he asked, playing with her hair feeling the girl smile against him.

“Yep” The girl stepped back slowly.

“Ok, then I won’t kill you,” he answered casually.

“I love you when you don’t kill me.” Again she was smiling.

“I do too, when you don’t let me kill you.” He carefully helped her walk down the porch steps.

There was an almost silent movement behind him.

When he turned toward the red-haired girl, Spike noticed a strange look on Willow’s face. He smiled slightly at her. “Come on, girls, Will’s needed.”

He took Lilea’s wrist and moved toward the car, helping his friend to sit in the back seat, away from the marks of Dawn’s blood.

*

Spike was driving fast, taking a different street toward the hospital.

“I didn’t think you trusted of me when I phoned earlier…”

“Well, I heard you calling a doctor while you were talking.” She stopped for a moment. “And Giles just phoned me some minutes earlier and told me you were probably coming. He told me what you said earlier.”

“Watcher calling… Yeah I should have figured that out.” Then they stayed silent for a while.

Willow shifted in an uncomfortable way, a couple of time, even when the car was moving fast. Sitting in the car with Spike and his new girlfriend wasn’t exactly her ideal evening. She wondered if the girl was a vampire, but she had never heard of a blind vampire, so maybe she was human. Could a human girl love someone like Spike? Even though she had missed most of Buffy and Spike’s relationship, and furthermore the end of that and his departure, she knew he was serious about his feelings. He showed honest hurt for Joyce’s death, and an almost big brother-ish love for Dawn, when Buffy was gone. And she knew he was serious about his feelings and his concern for her friend was real, in the phone call he made to her a couple of hours ago.

And then. Looking at the body language between the vampire and this strange girl was really confusing.

The mutual tenderness they were sharing was pretty obvious. The brunette girl had her hand resting on the vampire’s shoulder and it didn’t seem to bother him at all. Even though Spike had left Sunnydale, and she still didn’t know why, Willow was sure that his feelings for Buffy were still deep inside him, unchanged, but this new girl was confusing her. Had he moved on? But she remembered the look on her best-friend’s face when she found out about him and Anya. It wasn’t something she could explain, but the hurt was so evident, so obvious.

The sensation of feeling observed made the vampire turned his eyes toward the witch’s. He smiled sadly at her, trying to keep his eyes on her longer than he could.

Willow was staring at him, probably without even noticing that she was, obviously thinking.

“I only found out today about Tara.” He paused for a long moment, giving the girl time to be ready for the words she probably heard too many times already. “I’m sorry, I really liked her.” He paused again. “She was sweet.”

Willow nodded, smiling sadly back at him. “Thanks.” She knew he really meant that. “She kinda liked you too.”

He looked at her again, even though the girl was avoiding looking at his face, glancing a couple of times to the street “If there is anything I can do… ”

The redhead moved, shaking her head, whispering “Nothing…” then she met his eyes again. “But thanks for asking.”

His answer was a shrug.

In the back seat Lilea was strangely silent and motionless. She could see the suffering in this girl. Her colors so very clearly came from being hurt. A pain so deep, an emptiness she knew only too well. And Lilea felt like an intruder into Willow’s life, spying on her colors in this way, so she forced herself to stop her strange, blind ‘looking’ at her and turned her face away.

Her hand tightened almost at the same moment. “Oh my…” she whispered. “Spike, stop the car,” she breathed, with fear in her voice.

“What?” The vampire looked at her in the rear-view mirror, the girl was staring out of the car with a horrified expression, her hand now leaning on the glass. Her breathing was racing.

“Stop the car!” There was panic in her voice now.

“What’s happening, luv?” He couldn’t remember her ever looking like that before. Usually she didn’t stare at *things*.

“I have to get out! Stop this stupid car!” She was almost yelling when the car stopped. The vampire quickly got out and helped her to do the same.

Lilea practically ran across the street without noticing the traffic. The sound of a car horn echoed in the almost silent night.

Spike ran after her, grabbing her violently, releasing her from his grip just a little in order not to activate his chip, when he felt a faint shadow of what could become intense pain.

“Are you trying to kill yourself?” His voice was hungry while he shook her hard.

But the blind girl didn’t stop staring past him into the darkness.

“Spike, what’s this?” She was barely able to speak from the shock of the sight that only she could see.

“What’s what?” The vampire was losing his patience. Buffy was in hospital needing her friend and he was here in the middle of Sunnydale.

“This!!!” She pointed toward a building just a few steps away.

“It’s the new high school, can we go now?” He tried to walk back toward the car, firmly holding Lilea’s wrist.

“No!!! It’s bad...it’s…I’ve never seen anything like it…It’s dark…it’s black.” Every word was said with a smaller voice. “I’m afraid of it…” she whispered.

And just at that moment he understood, how could he be such an idiot sometimes? He smiled, caressing her hair and kissing her head lightly.

“Sometime I forget how much you can see,” he said with his more reassuring tone. “What you can see, pet, it’s the Hellmouth. You don’t have to worry about that, not tonight at least.”

“Hellwhat?”

“Hellmouth, the only one active at the moment, and they built this school here. Exactly on top of it.”

“Oh!” She stayed silent, biting her lip for a while, then she scratched her head. “Then I guess I over-reacted, didn’t I?”

“Just a little…don’t worry about that. Get back in the car. She needs… She needs Willow there.”

Lilea smiled at him. “She needs you too.”

“By the way…when did you become so good at running without your stick? Run across the road like that another time, luv, and I’ll kill you.”

“Yes, daddy.”

*

The rest of the return journey toward the hospital was quite fast and with any other delays. The vampire looked back at his friends: both now were silent. Willow had such a sad expression. She seemed resigned, but her pain didn’t decrease for all that. It was so unfair! He remembered the last time he saw Dawn before he left, she had said that Red and Tara needed to be alone. They were such a good couple. Tara was able to leave the girl she loved in order to force her to choose what was better for Willow’s sake. It was not an easy thing to do. He wasn’t able to do that for Buffy. Quite the opposite. He pushed her so far, so much that he wasn’t able to keep his self-control. In more than 120 years of unlife, he had never done anything that had sickened him so much. Killing and torturing were not right, ok, with his soul now he knew, but they were never so despicable as brainwashing someone in order to make her weak.

Chapter 14

Giles had a strange expression on his face when he came back from the public phone. “Willow already knew,” he said with amazement.

“How? She had a premonition?”

“You won’t believe that: Spike called her earlier. He’s coming to catch her. He said he was going to go there as soon I would be here. He said he didn’t want let you alone.”

Buffy’s lips almost smiled. “Very Spike-ish.” She stayed silent for some seconds. “God, how long they need?” Her voice was tired and almost

“No idea, ”

Buffy looked again at her watcher. “He -” she avoided saying the vampire’s name “ - said you and the girl needed to talk a lot. So there’s something more we need to know? Besides her being a slayer.”

“Yes, and she’s in big trouble, or at least this is what they say. But we’ll deal with that later.” He stopped and pointed. The doctor was coming toward Buffy.

“Miss Summers? Your sister is now in room 312. It’s in ICU. As I said earlier, she’s is in a coma. But we’re quite optimistic, the operation went faster then we thought. Her heart is strong so it never stopped beating. This means that oxygen never stopped getting to her brain the whole time, so my colleagues and I think that brain damage is highly unlikely. Unluckily we can’t know how long she will remain in this state.”

“Then she will survive, won’t she?”

“I think so. I don’t want to give you any false illusion, she can stay in this condition for just few hours or months, or forever. The human body is a mystery.”

“Can I see her again?” He nodded.

“Third floor, room 312. I’ll check on her and on your arm too, later.”

* * *

Giles had to wait outside. Only one person at a time could be in the room. Buffy left the door open, taking a chair. She caressed her sister’s head.

“Dawnie, come back to me, please. I know how good it is there, but you’re so young, and Spike is right, you have so much yet to do, you have to kiss someone - I mean someone living - you have to fall in love with someone special, and you still haven’t been to any proms. You can’t leave without that, we have to break the Summers’ bad prom habit. And we have to show dad how great we are, even without his help. Oh God, Dawn, in the movies this always works, they speak and people simply wake up - Ok, people in the movies are dressed better, speak in a more sensible way than I’m doing, but the girls are just as pretty as you are. I’m blabbing, sis, but please wake up. Please, Dawnie, don’t leave me alone.”

A light knock on the open door and the young woman ran to embrace her friend tightly.

“Will, Will…” This time Buffy didn’t need to be strong, like when her mom died, this time she could let herself cry all her tears, and she did, while Willow was doing pretty much the same.

*

Lilea and Spike were observing the scene from a distance. She could feel all the pain even without looking at people’s color.

The vampire looked at her. She was strangely quiet. Maybe he should made a mistake, he was the one who had to explain her about the slayer and the Hellmouth thing. He was insensitive.

“Are you all right?”

She smiled, resting her head on his shoulder. “Yeah, just thinking about how it was?”

“‘How what was?” Then he stopped. “Oh bloody hell, I’m so bloody stupid! I completely forgot about your own sister.” He moved closer, brushing her hair. “Is there anything I can do?”

She gave him a big smile. “Sweetie, I’m not the one who needs you, tonight.” Her face pointed toward Buffy’s colors.

He glared at her. “How dare you call me that?”

“Oh, I beg your pardon, your evilness.” Her voice was smiling.

“I could kill you for that.”

The girl stayed silently for a couple of seconds thinking. “Mmm no, I’m too tired for be killed.”

“Then I’ll have to try another time.” He sounded a little disappointed.

“Yeah, better.”

“Time to go?” She nodded. “Give me five minutes.”

He walked toward the room knocking lightly. The two awake girls turned to him.

“Buffy - he whispered “- I’m leaving.”

The older Summers girl moved closer, stopping just a couple of steps from him.

“Leaving town?” Her voice trembled and he also thought he saw a shadow of panic in her eyes. But of course it couldn’t be, he thought.

Spike stared at the scared girl for some time, then he pointed toward the window. “It’s almost day.”

“Oh.” He smiled at Buffy, raising his hand few inches from her hair, then his hand moved onto her face, cupping her cheek with it.

They didn’t speak, they simply looked into each others’ eyes, telling each other what it wasn’t possible to say with words. All the love, all the caring, all the feelings they were sharing was there. Only a look.

Even if he had been alive his touch couldn’t have been warmer, and the cold sensation she felt when he walked slowly away almost froze Buffy’s heart.

“Spike?” Her voice, again in a tone unlike her usual voice, trembled.

When the vampire turned, a beat later, he noticed that she was biting her lips almost enough to make them bleed. “Your duster…” She started to unfasten the over-large coat.

Spike bent his head for a moment, staring at her nervousness. “Next time,” he answered, joining his friend and walking away.

* * *

The vampire and the new Slayer walked escorted by the wolf, no demons, no danger, just a long silent promenade. When they arrived at the crypt door the light outside was already starting to change.

When they entered she pretended to check her bag, letting him go upstairs. She mentally verified all the things she needed to buy again. Last time they had left too quickly, and they forgot most of their stuff. Lilea was able to take her book of shadows and a couple of other magic books, losing most of her stones, herbs and dresses, and most of the few things she had simply hadn’t survived being smashed under a car that night.

It was just as well they had trusted in Spike’s paranoid instinct, keeping some money and stuff in a different place from where they were living. Just before Sunnydale they had left in quite a hurry. They realized they were being followed. That was why they had split up in Las Vegas. Spike had entrusted her to a demon who was Clem’s crazy cousin, threatening him with death if he didn’t make sure she got safely on the bus for Sunnydale the next morning.

Giles had asked to meet her at the magic shop in the late morning, so she could get some new things and he said also something about being trained, not that she understood what he meant, but she agreed with him. If Spike trusted him, she had no problem doing so as well.

But now her best friend was worrying her. The guy had been sitting in an armchair since they arrived. He had said he was going to watch some TV, in order to be left alone, but it was still switched off.

The guy was uncommonly silent.

His silence contrasted with his screaming colors. Pain, regret, love?

The girl caressed his shoulder, smiling at him in an unspoken question.

“Honestly, Lil, I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You can. You’re strong enough.”

“Yeah, well…”

“Spike, you know -“ Lilea chosen chose the words she was going to say carefully “- she has feelings for you. It doesn’t matter what she says. She can be scared or mad with you, but she’ll trust you again.”

“She won’t. I wouldn’t do that.” His voice was completely emotionless.

The girl smiled again, whispering, “You’re not a woman.”

“I’m not even human.”

She caressed his face, with a sweet look in her eyes.

“I love you just the way you are.”

He smiled back at her, holding Lilea’s hand . “It’s late, go to sleep.” She kissed his cheek before vanishing downstairs.

Chapter 15

Days flowed past quickly.

Spike and Giles started to train Lilea very hard during the day and helped patrol during the night, giving Buffy time to take care of her sister. The official slayer was spending all her spare moments from work with Dawn, speaking to her, trying to tell her jokes, telling her what was happening in town, making her listen to music, all the things she found helped people in comas to wake up.

Sadly all her efforts weren’t as useful as she hoped. The doctor who visited Dawn every day since the girl was hospitalized started to be less optimistic, and he also had the sad duty of telling Buffy that the youngest of the Summers’ girls might never wake up again.

The only positive side in this situatuon were Buffy’s friends. Dawn was never alone. Xander, Willow, and even Anya helped a lot.

Harris was back from his refresher course his chief had sent him on. Something about security and materials, and even though he wasn’t very happy about it he had to agree. When he found out what had happened to Dawn he helped as much as he could. He was the one who brought hot meals for the girls in hospital, sharing some turns with them. To his shame his work didn’t allow him a lot of time to help, but he was always ready to do it. And he kept cheering up all the gang, sometimes with visible effort. Xander loved Dawn as a sister, and in fact, the Scoobies were his real family.

One Monday, Buffy walked Xander to the elevator. She saw him disappear behind the sliding door. The doors of other elevator opened at the same moment.

“Principal Wood!” Her voice didn’t hide her surprise at all.

“Miss Summers, just the person I was looking for.” The man’s voice was warm and kind, but still his presence was making Buffy feel as if she hadn’t eaten all her vegetables at dinner.

“Did I forget a meeting with some students?”

The man burst out laughing, his dark eyes were smiling too. “You didn’t. Your work is fine. I’m here because a teacher gave me this.” He handed her a bag with some copybooks. “She said you left them in the teachers’ lounge.”

“The notes! Thanks! I was starting to panic. I couldn’t remember where I lost them!” She held them against her chest.

“How’s your sister?”

Buffy shook her head. “Still no news. She’s stable.”

They stayed silent for a while, then the principal pointed to the bag.

“I hope you don’t mind but I had a look at them.”

She smiled. “They’re for Dawn’s lessons.” She paused. “Mr. Wood, I’m sorry I didn’t give the envelope you gave me to the University principal. Actually I never went there.”

“But I saw your lessons notes too.”

“Oh well, they’re Willow’s, a friend of mine. When she can she goes to my lessons too. I study her notes. It’s like having a personal teacher. She’s great at that.” Buffy gave the whole speech almost without talking a breath.

“Summers, you’re still nervous when you speak with me.”

“Yeah, well…” He looked at her for a long moment and she felt herself blushing like a schoolgirl.

“Don’t be” Again his voice was reassuring and quite warm.

“I’ll try.” She smiled again

“In a couple of days I want you in my office, for a cup of herbal tea.” His tone was once again very professional.

“I’ll be there”

“See you tomorrow around.”

“Mr. Wood? Thanks for coming”

*

She really didn’t wait him there. This principal was really rather a strange man. She walked toward the drinks machine. As she opened her bottle of water she realized she was overhearing a conversation. The man’s voice was very familiar, the other one sounded like Dawn’s doctor.

“And?”

“We don’t know what else to do. There’s no physical cause for her condition, her wounds are healing amazingly quickly and we haven’t any clue why she is still unconscious.” The doctor stopped for a moment. “Ok, it’s not any of my business, but did you tell her?”

“Wha... what?”

“Her sister, did you say that you’re paying for Dawn’s medical care?”

He was what? It couldn’t be. Ok, it was quite strange, because she couldn’t remember who in the hospital had said that their insurance wasn’t going to cover the medical bills, but then the same woman had left a message on her answer machine telling her that it had been a mistake and that everything was now fine with the payment. And Doctor Marthy really seemed to like him, and was speaking to him in quite a friendly manner. Was Spike such a frequent visitor?

“Don’t even try to do that... and you’d better not have! She doesn’t have to know. As far as everyone is concerned the insurance is paying.”

“This younger generation, always scared by their own feelings. I would tell her, so that she knew I was here for her. It’s very romantic what you’re doing, but if she doesn’t know about it… how can she repay you?”

“Doc, I came here in order to find out about Dawn, not to have a sermon about the generations and I’m not doing anything romantic. *And* it’s not your business.”

“Ok, I understand. By the way, thank your friend for me - that clay pack worked a miracle with my knee.” But the vampire wasn’t listening. He simply walked away waving his hand.

Neither he nor the doctor noticed Buffy. She was there, pale, leaning against the wall behind the corner of the corridor. Her legs were weak and she didn’t know why. She needed some time to recover from the shock. Spike was paying Dawn’s medical bill, and he was refusing any credit for it. What was his plan? What evil thing was in his mind? She had avoided thinking about him all this time, about the way she felt when she saw him appear in the cemetery that night almost a month and a half earlier.

His face, his touch, his arms meant more to her than being simply sensual. He cared. That was the truth. In his own, personal way, but he did. But all the fears about the relationship with him prevent her from thinking about a future for them. She knew he was the one who could hurt her deeply. He had already tried to do that to her.

It was even more complicated than it had been earlier with Angel: she loved Angel, she hated Angelus. Easy. She knew what her first lover felt for her. Love. With all his soul. “You’re still his only thought,” Willow said once, while he was bad. And it was true. For Angelus she was just an obsession.

But Spike was different.

He hadn’t got a soul. He had a chip. But was this what forbade him to kill??? Probably not. When Willow’s spell made them all forget everything the only thing he still demonstrated was the disposition to help. He didn’t try to kill anyone. And it wasn’t the chip. Being a vampire was an innate thing. And what he had done that evening wasn’t dictated by a vampire’s instinct. He had no memory of being bad, no memory of his obsession with Buffy, just a willingness to help. Maybe he was different.

‘Different? He tried to rape you!’ her inner voice yelled at her.

Why was everything to do with men in her life always so complicated?

* * *

“Spike, we need money” Lilea sat very comfortable onto the armchair, letting herself resting from the daily training and patrolling.

“We’ve got some, you won a lot last time in Vegas.”

“I did, but the hospital is really expensive, and we haven’t a clue when the little girl will wake up.” The new slayer was sleepy and tired, but still quite sure about what she wanted.

“Ok, I’ll find something.” The vampire shrugged.

“What about me?”

And for a moment the guy was scared of what she could mean. Was she going to say something about feeling unimportant to him, as Drusilla used to do sometimes? “Sorry?”

“You know what I mean. I did it other times!” She yawned without adding any more explanations.

And the vampire eventually understood. “No way. It’s too dangerous.”

“Just a couple of times. Please… I want to help you.” Sleepy and pleading - really this blind girl knew how to use her feminine weapons.

“And by the way we’re in Sunnydale here, not in Vegas. Prices are different here.”

“Well, you find me a place where I can do it and I will.”

“Stubborn.”

She smiled “Just like you, buddy”

“I’ll ask around, but -” He stopped for a moment. She had already persuaded him. Evil, sweet girl. “You know demons pay better for this, especially for a human girl.”

“It’s ok, I haven’t any problems with them.”

* * *

Knock Knock

Buffy gulped, waiting for the answer. Would she ever become used to going in the principal’s office without being terrified? Duh, she could defeat a whole army of vampires and still feeling inadequate in front of the new principal.

“Come in!”

She breathed deeply. “Mr. Wood… You asked me to stop by.”

The principal rose from his chair and walked toward the teapot.

“I already told you not to be nervous, didn’t I?” He seemed disappointed, but Buffy couldn’t tell about what.

“Yes sir.” One thing was certain, Buffy felt like an eight year old schoolgirl now.

He turned his head toward her, almost smiling. “It’s a lost fight with you, isn’t it?”

She smiled, a little embarrassed. “I’m trying.”

“Herbal tea?” This time he was the one who was grinning and without waiting for the answer he poured two cups.

“I was touched by what you’re doing for your sister. So I’m going to help.”

Buffy realised that she was staring at this strange man in front of her without really understanding what he was talking about. Her expression must have shown her confusion quite clearly because the principal laughed loudly.

“I made a couple of calls. And these are the results.” He pushed a couple of folders towards her.

One blue, one green.

“Open them.” She did, even though this seemed too much like bad deja-vu.

There were notes - tons of notes.

“Blue are yours, green Dawn’s,” he said with a cryptic tone.

“What…?”

“These are the notes from all your and Dawn’s classes. Well not all, actually - I need still a couple of days for them. Until your sister wakes up you can concentrate on your studies, your job and taking care of her.”

“I don’t know what to say.” For a moment she felt tears sparking in her eyes and she had to fight them. But all the tiredness she had felt since Dawn was injured was starting to make her feel more sensitive.

“Nothing.” He paused, his voice becoming as cold and professional as usual. “This won’t mean you’re going to pass your test with any kind of extra help.”

“I didn’t even think that” Her hand was shaking. Who was this man?

“That’s just to clarify any doubt. You have just to do your best. And in order to know I want you to pass your tests with the highest score. Drink your tea now, it’s getting cold.”

Chapter 16

Two week later.

Mr. Giles was quite amazed when Lilea refused for the second consecutive evening to be trained and to go on patrol. In the two months since she had started her training it was the first time. She had always done her Slayer duty, until the previous evening. She said again that she needed to be free after sunset that evening. She was sorry for Buffy and apologized over and over again when the older Summers girl showed up at the Magic Box but the girl said she couldn’t get out of it. The new Chosen One said she was going to ask Spike to come *later*, a lot later, to patrol with her, but neither of them would be available at all.

The official slayer was so tired. In the last two months she had had no time to breathe. The job, university, Dawn. Having someone else slaying in her place really was saving her life.

But Lilea was resolute tonight. And this made Giles mad. She was dressed carefully as if she was going on a date. Spike kept telling her to hurry up.

The number of new vampires eventually slowed down. It wasn’t continuous. Nothing strange had happened for at least four days, so walking with Giles without any hurry was almost relaxing for Buffy. It was almost like taking some time for herself. A walk with dad? No better. A walk with someone she really trusted. Of course she trusted Xander with her life but someone older, someone who loved her without asking for anything back. God she was so lucky having him in her life at this moment.

Her father was absent, as usual. This time his new wife was heavily pregnant and she was about to have a new child. So ironic. He was such a bad father for Dawn, barely visiting her even after Joyce’s death and he was so excited at becoming a parent again.

But Giles was near her again. At least for now.

Then from behind a bush some voices and movement brought her back to reality.

The slayer walked silently toward that point.

“She’s starting, we’re late!” The voice said loudly, then five, maybe six demons came out, walking quickly.

“Clem?”

“Buffy?! Hi...” His overly-cordial voice made the other demons look at him with a strange expression. “I mean… Hi!”

“Running?” Her voice was quite amused. He definitely wasn’t the demon she was thinking of killing tonight.

“We’re late - the show starts in a few minutes!” He seemed really in a hurry, excited and nervous, like a child before meeting his favorite actor.

“Clem, you know I can’t let demons run away like this!”

The puppy-like demon looked hurt. “We’re just going to Willie’s! We’re not going to kill anyone!” His voice almost pleaded her.

The slayer looked toward her watcher who shrugged his shoulders.

“Ok, run before I change my mind!” she raised her hand in a signal of armistice.

“ It’s a special night with the human girl! She was great yesterday, that’s why I’m bringing more friends today. And Spike will thank you for letting us go. Six of us… It’s money for him!” he added quickly, before leaving. The demons ran, probably more scared that the slayer might kill them than at the thought of missing some parts of the show.

And at that moment Buffy felt completely silly. It was enough for Clem to say the vampire’s name to make her certain that she had to investigate further. First the new slayer refusing to patrol for the second night running... Even before she realized what she was doing she was already following them.

Giles was right behind her. The watcher had never asked what really happened between his almost-daughter and the vampire. Or, more precisely, why they had split up. She had told him only that she had slept with Spike and they had laughed about it a lot once, but they had never mentioned the subject again. He had tried to ask Willow, once. But she said she didn’t know much, and after Tara’s loss there never seemed to be the right moment to ask.

But he could quite easily recognize the relieved expression she had on her face when the vampire was with her both in the cemetery and in the hospital. Ok, maybe this was crazy, but he felt sorry for them. And even though he never admitted it, he knew Spike was really in love with Buffy. Not just the crush he had a couple of years ago. He had shown it when Buffy died. He had taken care of Dawn faithfully, just because he promised that to her sister.

During her training Lilea confessed to him, with the promise he wasn’t going to reveal it to anyone, that Spike went to the hospital every day, in order to check on both the Summers sisters, without revealing himself, with Dawn’s doctor’s complicity.

Strange demon, this one.

*

Willie’s was dark. In the last year the demons’ favourite Sunnydale bar had improved, not stylish, but a little nicer. But now everything there was dark, even on the stage all the lights were switched off.

A familiar music started to fill the room.

Jessica Rabbit’s song?

Buffy opened her eyes wide when a solitary light appeared on the stage. There was a human female, wearing a gangster-style hat, a white shirt and jacket, pants and a tie.

Lilea didn’t move. She sang the first word, with her face almost covered with the hat, then she raised her head.

Buffy stared at her for a long time, then she moved her eyes to the audience. Everyone seemed transfixed by the girl on the stage.

Lilea unfastened the first button of her jacket with one hand. The rest of her body was completely immobile, even though relaxed.

Demons start to bluster.

She was so sexy! Buffy wondered why. She wasn’t doing anything special. The slayer looked at her watcher. He was sweating. A drop of sweat was rolling down his temple. His usual Englishness didn’t crack but it was close.

Rupert saw his slayer staring at him. He slipped off his glasses, cleaning them in a moment of embarrassment. He knew the girl on the stage, he had met her every day for almost two months and never, ever, had he had such inconvenient thoughts about her. She was so young, she was younger than Buffy!

“Well, definitely a side of her I didn’t know!” he said casually.

When the song ended Lilea had unfastened her shirt, too. The jacket was on the floor.

She was wearing a top with spaghetti straps. Sensuality abruptly vanished with the song. The next was almost a country song, then a ballad.

Even without the sexy aura the audience was quite satisfied. She sang songs with the backing of pre-recorded bases, but no one seemed complain that.

“The next two songs are for someone special... I hope he’ll like them.”

The first one was Last time I saw William an ’80 song.

Buffy was amazed how close to Spike’s history the song was. And she couldn’t help feeling as if someone was ripping her heart away when she saw the sort of look the blond vampire and the blind singer shared. It was love. Without any shadow of a doubt.

Buffy wondered why it hurt so much.

The last song was really unexpected. It was ‘A New Man In Town”. Why this song was related to Spike was a mystery. He definitely wasn’t new at all.

*

Once again Lilea felt alive. She was singing and as usual this made her feel as though she was in a sort of limbo. When she was on the stage, she was almost able to forget almost everything in the world. She could have been a great musical actress, if only things had gone differently. But again, just like the previous night, everything went so quickly, too fast, as usual.

Sometimes she forgot how good an audience demons could be. She had performed in Vegas last time, again for a demon bar, and once for humans. Definitely demons were a funnier and more attentive audience.

Being onstage made her feel so special and so normal at the same time, but again, as always it was all over too quickly, the whole show, one hour, literally rushed past. She already felt wonderful, but then she looked towards Spike.

His colors were telling her he was proud of her, and that he was happy and embarrassed for her dedication.

The last three notes. She smiled, turning her head to one side, waiting for the music to end. And for the first time she noticed something, a light, colors. No wonder she had missed her until now. With all the demon colors in the room it wasn’t easy to notice people. She raised her hand to wave without really being sure Buffy saw it.

In spite of herself the official slayer answered back in the same way, feeling completely stupid waving at a blind girl. But how in hell did Lilea see her? Could this be Spike’s trick?

When Lilea looked at Buffy’s colors again she saw only darkness. The Summers girl wasn’t there anymore.

Next