Chapter 24

RING RING!!!

The sound of the phone was a terrible alarm clock. How long had she slept? Half an hour?

“’lo?” Her sleepy voice was barely comprehensible.

“Giles?”

“It’s Buffy,” she mumbled.

“What are you doing at Giles’ place?” Anya’s question wasn’t exactly the thing you wanted to hear first thing in the morning.

“ ’leeping,” she mumbled.

“With him?” The voice at the other end was shocked.

“Of course not!” Ok, this was enough to wake her. Just the thought made her shudder. “Anya what do you want?”

“I figured it out,” she simply answered.

“Anya, I’m tired. What are you talking about?”

“I know what’s up! The night’s coming, It’s worse than the end of world.”

She looked towards the sleeping man in the room. Strangely he hadn’t heard the phone ring.

“Spike, wake up!”

“Spike is there too? Are you sleeping with him? Again?”

“I’m not! Anya, just come here as soon as possible, teleport yourself.”

“I can’t. I’m not allowed to use it anymore. I’ll be quick.” Her sad tone was confusing Buffy.

“What?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” The demon girl’s voice trembled badly.

“Anya?” But she had already put the phone down.

*

Buffy rose quickly. “Spike!” she called again, but he didn’t answer.

He was lying on the floor, his right arm bent under his head for a pillow, the rest of his body curled into a sort of relaxed foetal position.

Buffy moved closer to him, kneeling beside him. She couldn’t avoid noticing the almost childish and peaceful expression on his face. She couldn’t remember ever seeing him sleep in this position.

And then she realized she had never taken the time to watch him sleeping, during their sort of relationship. They simply shared a bed, when they were able to get to it, at least. She wondered how she could have been so close to him and yet so far. He was the first one she told about heaven. He was the one who probably knew her better than anyone. And still he was probably one of the people she tried to push the furthest away

Strange she wasn’t able to move away now, simply to stand up or to yell at him to wake up.

Buffy touched his arm, whispering his name. She had forgotten that his skin could be so warm, God, what was happening to her? Everything about him seemed to affect her so much. Just because now he was with someone else. Someone who loved him in the same way that she was loved back.

You must be careful what you wish for, now Spike has Lilea and no more crush on Buffy. Wasn’t this what she had wanted for so long? And then why did it keep hurting so much?

Spike opened his eyes wide at the contact. Her touch was overwhelming. She was bent, staring at him just a few inches away.

Buffy wondered if he had really moved back or if she had imagined it.

“What’s wrong?” he asked with a sleepy voice.

She shook her head. “Anya’s found out what’s happening. She’s coming here.”

She rose slowly. “I’d better draw the curtains in the other room, or you’ll have to stay here until noon.” And then she vanished through the door a little faster than normal, as if she was running away.

* * *

“… And Halfrek said that the night is coming, the night of the world I mean. She said we are living now in the day, but it’s sunset.” Anya finished her explanation.

“What does that mean, the night? And what is it like?” Buffy was standing not far from the table where all of them were sitting, pacing back and forth.

“Sorry, I haven’t a clue about that. She didn’t tell me. And the other demons didn’t speak about that. But I don’t think we’ll like it.”

Buffy and Lilea weren’t the only people in the room who noticed how sad Anya’s eyes were. She was living through something or she knew something she wasn’t ready to share. So when she said she didn’t know any more they accepted that. She seemed as worried as they were. And no one in the room thought that she was withholding information, rather they thought that there was something wrong with her.

Buffy thought it was related to what she had said about teleporting. The demon girl’s voice when she said she wasn’t allowed to do that was so hurt, but Buffy hadn’t realized it at that moment. She did just now, watching her almost apologizing for not knowing anything really helpful.

“It’s ok, Anya, at least now we know what’s happening, thanks. Not that it helps us, but… ” Buffy smiled at her, but she wasn’t sure her friend noticed.

Xander started to hit his head with his hand, lightly but repeatedly. “Why does this remind me of something? Ok... I know that I know this…” He repeated this a couple of times.

“That’s impossible,” was Spike’s answer.

“No one was speaking to you.” Just rage in his voice. He always spoke to the vampire with this angry tone. Even though Spike had been back for more than two months.

And Lilea hated the tone Xander used with his friend. How could they be so blind? How could they not notice how changed Spike was? How could he not to notice how sweet and caring and sensitive a person he was now? Stupid arrogant human boy.

“Come on guys, this is not the time to fight like kids!” Giles shut them up before they started fighting again. The situation between them was really starting to degenerate. “What were you saying, Xander?”

“I said I remember that part.”

“Which part?”

“The night part.”

“Will you be able to end a bloody statement, sooner or later?” Spike got up, moving away from the table, while Lilea followed him with her eyes. Again, strange colors in him.

The human guy made him grimace. “The first time Giles told us about the vampires, he said that the beginning was different from what people think. He said there was a sort of Chaos, with demons and monsters, which could have been the last night we had.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Spike shrugged.

The Watcher looked at Xander with an astonished expression. “No, it’s not. You… you could be right.” Giles moved toward an old chest and started to look for something inside. “I thought it was false… exactly like the other one… What an idiot I am!”

Anya looked at the former librarian, and she hated that he was acting in this way again. Always when he thought he had the answer he started to speak loudly to himself, no one was able to understand until he calmed down. But this time she was too tired to wait for him to stop and share the knowledge.

“Giles? What are you talking about? We’re still in the room if you hadn’t noticed.”

The Watcher looked at them for a moment trying to figure out if his theory could be right. Then he moved toward a wooden chest. And he hid his head inside, starting to speak while he looked for a text.

“Do you remember the word of Valios?”

“What did he say?” Lilea asked with a quiet voice.

“It didn’t say anything. It was a talisman. I thought it was a fake, but it was authentic. One of my biggest mistakes. In the same sorcerer’s sale I bought this other book… I know it must be here somewhere!”

“And that’s today’s lesson, Lil. Watchers do make mistakes, all the time.” The vampire used his most ‘teacher-like’ tone of voice to explain.

“Spike! Shut up”

This time he bent toward Lilea’s ear but his voice was loud enough to be heard by anyone. “And they haven’t got any sense of humor.”

“That’s it!” The watcher blew the dust from an old book. ‘No more days after the night’ - well, not an optimistic title, certainly.”

He started to read quickly, occasionally reading some passages out loud.

“The beginning will not be noticed. No one will believe the signs. An ancient race of demons will start to walk the Earth again, and they will remain unnoticed by humans. They will become stronger, grow in number and it will be too late to hope to defeat them. Almost all the human race will be erased from the world, the others, the less lucky ones will become hunted for the demons’ food, suffering eternal torments. They will be eaten until even the last humans will have become a legend. Until the day comes when no one will remember the humans.”

“That’s horrible for you! Hey, does it say anything about other demons, like me?” Anya again lost an occasion to stay silent. But that was the point the situation was not prospecting very well for no one.

“… the process will be gradual, and it will begin during the day. The air will be different. But nothing will be visible.”

“So, no hope, no future?” Lilea’s voice trembled at the prospect of an apocalypse. It was her first one. She wasn’t used to the idea of several of them. She looked instinctively toward Spike, but he wasn’t speaking.

“It’s one of the more pessimistic ideas of an apocalypse I can remember reading in ages.” The watcher kept reading his volume but did so silently for a little while.

“You must be wrong!” The official slayer interrupted the scared silence. “They always made prophecies and they’re so often wrong!”

“Buffy, I promise… I’ll make every search I can, I’ll ask the council to do the same… but…”

She looked toward her still unofficial colleague. “Giles, we wouldn’t have dreamt of Tara if there is no hope. Lilea & I can stop the night coming.”

The watcher started to clean his glasses for the umpteenth time. “I hope you’re right.”

*

They were around the thin table of the living room, Spike leaning against the wall, the watcher pacing and Buffy staring at them.

Lilea didn’t really give much attention to Mr. Giles’ book. She was concentrating on trying to match the watcher’s words with her dream of Tara, the idea of more than one apocalypse. Then again, she didn’t usually need to look toward Giles. It was always useless. She couldn’t see him. So when she moved her gaze toward a faint sparkle walking back and forth, she was filled with doubt.

“Mr. Giles, can I have the your book, just for a moment, please?”

She missed Xander and Anya’s curious and doubtful looks. Xander had trouble keeping his thoughts on the girl to himself. He tried a couple of times to criticize her, but every time Buffy or Giles shut him up. Spike would probably kill him for what he was thinking about the girl. But he never hid his disgust for people who slept with the vampire. And while he loved Anya and Buffy, he felt nothing but revulsion toward this new slayer.

Lilea examined it carefully. The light wasn’t produced by the pages or the cover, so she opened the book and saw that inside the glowing was more intense, and the light seemed to become more powerful when she moved her hand closer. She tested the corner of the book’s spine, looking for something she couldn’t touch, but she traced the circular light she could see.

“There’s something here.” Her voice again was uncertain. She couldn’t see Giles any more so she moved her gaze toward the only people she could see.

The former librarian cut the binding carefully. Inside he found some papers, maybe a dozen, and a very small talisman, as big as a 2 pence coin. [It might be better to use an American coin as an example, as this is set in America and written in American English.]

“How did you…?”

The girl blushed. “It was glowing… I mean, I saw it glow… ”

“Amazing”

Lilea rose from her chair, walking around the table toward the watcher, almost transfixed by that light.

Giles took the amulet in his hand. Just for a moment, but then he felt the energy of it flowing into him. And for a moment he felt the desire to have more. More power, probably more than Willow had the previous spring. That was too much.

A noise, and the amulet fell to the table. The watcher, breathless, let it fall before he became unable to stop himself.

“I can’t!” he gasped. “The power…” He seemed strangely confused. Buffy moved to help him. He was pale and he seemed have some difficulty in standing.

But Lilea didn’t move. She stared at the talisman on the table. Its colors were calling her. But she didn’t feel the danger that had scared Giles. The energy that the amulet was producing was not bad. She could see that. For a moment she thought she was staring at the essence of the universe. The feeble light of the talisman didn’t seem so powerful, but at the moment Giles had taken it into his hands earlier its color had changed and the light became dazzling. And it still had some of that energy.

She saw its effect on Giles: for the first time she could see him. For a couple of seconds before the noise of its fall onto the table interrupted her sight.

She saw Giles’ colors vanish slowly, now that he was keeping himself far from the Power.

Lilea hesitantly took the talisman into her hands. She wasn’t sure it was a wise thing to do, but she felt she had to. It wasn’t the hunger for power, but simply the calling of her instinct.

“Lilea, don’t! It’s too strong!” Giles cried out to her, trying to stop her, but she smiled, raising the other hand in order to calm him down.

She moved, as if she knew exactly how to contact the center of the energy of the amulet. She raised it to the height of her heart, then her throat, her mouth and her forehead, before putting it near her heart again.

Then new words started to flow in her mind and she didn’t realize she had started to say them aloud.

“mangin nia diama nio mia noagitzu ango aumaca niac dain mio

myo niaka vala

nio miha noa

nio miha noa

nio miha noa”

Anya’s eyes opened wide, she could feel the stronger power in the girl. She could feel the connection with the day. Giles tried to move toward Lilea but still his equilibrium wasn’t normal, so Xander had to help him so that he didn’t fall.

The slayer moved quickly toward the brunette, ignoring the chair she knocked over as she did so, while Spike jumped on the table to get there faster.

“Lil!!”

Buffy tried to take the amulet away from Lilea’s hand by simply attempting to grab it, but it burned her hands badly as if it was scorching hot. She cried out, taking a step back. Seeing that, Spike understood that he couldn’t take it from his friend’s hands, so the vampire hit her hands violently, so strongly that his chip sent an agonising bolt of pain deep inside his head, but this time the talisman fell on to the table again.

“Lil, look at me!” Spike took her shoulders firmly, shaking her without any gentleness.

“Nio miha noa,” she repeated.

Lilea seemed lost in a mystical trance, completely out of the world, her face filled with an indecipherable expression that seemed happy and worried at the same time. She raised her hands, with no hurry at all, as if she was moving in slow-motion, toward Spike’s face. “Nio miha noa.” She moved closer, as if she wanted to kiss him. Instead she closed her eyes, starting to caress his face with hers, in almost a feline gesture.

“Nio miha noa,” she breathed against his ear.

“Lil, what does this mean? Lil, luv, speak to me.”

Xander looked away, disgusted at seeing the girl move against the vampire’s body. The sexy way she was breathing against Spike’s face, the closeness of their bodies, the way the undead was holding her with his hand firmly pressed against her back in order to keep her standing, made the Scooby feel sick.

“She isn’t going to have sex with him just now, is she?” Anya voiced the question that was in everyone’s minds. Lilea, even though she acted quite affectionately with Spike, never acted in this way, or at least not when the Scoobies were present. She was sexy somehow, and also somehow creepy because it was obvious she wasn’t very aware of her actions. And even the vampire seemed confused by her.

Buffy couldn’t take her eyes off them and Spike seemed to realize that because he looked toward her with a helpless, and almost scared look in his eyes.

Then Lilea seemed to feel herself again. She stepped back, escaping from Spike’s hold, breathing deeply, then she swayed violently, just a moment before she lost her senses. The vampire took her in his arms before she could hit the floor. He walked off, carrying her, but before heading toward Giles’ bedroom he stopped near Buffy.

“Are you ok?” The girl looked at him: he didn’t take his eyes from her even when she looked toward the floor. He stopped closer, bending his knees a little in order to restore the eye contact.

“Buffy, are you ok?” he asked again.

Eventually she met his gaze just for a moment. This strange vampire with his unconscious lover in his arms, seemed to care so much, that it almost made her hurt. She could feel tickling tears coming and she had to fight hard to stop him from seeing it.

“Hey, back off!” Xander yelled from the other side of the room, playing the big brother.

The girl raised her eyes again, meeting Spike’s blue ones. “I’m ok,” she whispered in a gasping voice.

For the millionth time since he had come back to Sunnydale Spike thought that this could break his heart. Buffy was staring at him with an expression that seemed to be a mixture of pain and anger. Her eyes were glowing with the tears she was bravely holding back. And again he didn’t understand why. Usually the slayer was an open book for him, but not now he was back, not anymore.

Xander was now near Buffy in order to protect her from the vampire, as if he was sure she needed him.

The human guy pointed to the unconscious girl coldly. “Are you going to stay with her in that position for the whole day?”

Chapter 25

“Giles, what exactly happened in the other room?”

The Slayer stared at the Englishman’s reflection in the bathroom mirror while the cold water flowed onto her hands giving her temporary relief.

“I still don’t know. I’ll read that book when I’m sure you’re alright, and I honestly don’t think you are.”

“The cold water is working… a little.” She forced herself to give an honest smile. She didn’t really need the watcher’s help, but she was grateful for it, especially now. She felt so confused, and having Giles here with her, alone for a moment, made her feel less alone.

How could she feel isolated when in the other room there were her best friends?

A voice in her mind added ‘And your former lover with his new love.’

“Well, I’m glad about that, but I’m not talking about your hand.” Giles. Did he understand she was hurt by Spike’s new relationship? Was it so obvious or it was just…

“Oh… I’ll be ok”. She closed her eyes trying to concentrate herself on the pleasant feeling of the cold water on her burn.

“Does it hurt that much?” and they both knew he wasn’t referring to her burns.

She almost smiled before nodding.

“Buffy… but did you know they are..”

“Anya found something.” Xander’s voice interrupted him.

Even before her friend moved Buffy was out the door, almost as if she was scared to continue the disturbing topic with her watcher.

Strange.

Recently, she often wondered what advice her mother would give her about this situation. And she never figured it out. Even though they loved each other so much, she never asked her about “problems of the heart”. Joyce was almost in the dark for most of her relationship with Angel. And even with Riley she never asked her more than Buffy was ready to say. But Joyce was always ready to give Spike the wiser help. And when Buffy wondered why, she easily had her answer. He was the one who talked, the one who asked, the one ready to listen to the answers.

Joyce once also told Buffy she liked Spike, and she thought that he needed a maternal figure.

“So what did you find?” Buffy tried to use a normal tone of voice. Trying to be strong. Trying to concentrate on the incoming apocalypse.

“I think we found our link to the day,” Anya cryptically said, pointing at the papers that had been hidden in the book.

“What?”

“That’s what the amulet does.” Xander agreed.

“So that’s what happened earlier? She was linking herself to the day?”

Giles read them carefully. “Really the opposite,” he explained, cleaning his glasses again. “The day was linking itself with her. But that’s the theory.”

“In these pages are written sort of instructions to send away the night.” Anya handed them to Buffy.

“It can’t be that easy.”

“Well, it’s not. There’s a prophecy.”

“I still wonder why people don’t say things clearly when they know them! Can they add instructions like with a microwave?”

Giles, wearing his glasses again, started to read. “And when the time of the night arrives good and bad forces will be joined, because good and bad will not exist anymore. Death will not be the difference. The One will become three, and an ancient but new soul will be a key, mothers who are not, dead and undead will work together, and love and revenge will work together for the same purpose, Heaven and Hell will stop fighting in order to stop time and a new night will not come.”

“And this means?”

“This means that if we’re lucky enough to understand what it says maybe we can save the world, or else it will be only night forever,” Xander summarized.

“Exactly, I think…” Giles rose from his chair, moving toward the windows. Outside the sun was still high, but they still had the curtain carefully closed.

“So what’s the trick to deciphering this thing?” Buffy asked, as if she really was hoping someone had the right idea.

Xander, Anya and Giles looked at her speechless.

*

Lilea moved at the contact. “Hey” A familiar voice guided her back to consciousness.

“It’s cold. What is it?” she mumbled, stretching a little.

“Wet towel.” Spike still held it in his hand, not knowing if she still might need it.

“What happened?” she whispered, shaking her head.

“Don’t you remember?” The vampire’s hand caressed her face and hair a couple of times. “You scared me…”

She smiled at his touch. “I… think so. The talisman was speaking to me.”

Ok, this was strange. “And …?”

“Nio miha noa”

“And you know what that means?” He was holding her hand.

She nodded. “Protect the key.”

“Dawn!” Lilea didn’t miss the panicked tone in his voice. Last time he had to protect the key he failed and Buffy died.

“It said *I* have to protect the key, that’s why I’m here, that’s what I was created for. And no, Dawn isn’t the key I’m supposed to protect.” Then she whispered, “Spike, I feel a little different now.”

“How different?”

She gave him a 1000 watt smile. “I can’t explain it… but in a good way. And stronger. And I feel I can do it.”

Knock Knock

“Can I come in?” Buffy was clearly not very comfortable knocking at the door. As if she was sure she was disturbing them.

Lilea nodded with decision. “Sure Buffy. Come in.”

“Do you feel better?”

Lilea, sitting on the bed, smiled at her. “I sure do, thanks for asking.”

There was a moment of embarrassed silence.

A LONG ONE.

“I’ll go then…”

“How are your hands?” The Slayer and the vampire spoke at the same time.

She breathed deeply before answering. “They burn” - and she felt mortally silly when she moved her hands as if she wanted to show him the damage.

Spike moved toward Buffy, and took her hands into his bigger ones. His thumb caressed the back of her right hand. His eyes stared at her face.

What surprised Buffy most was that Spike didn’t hold her. He was keeping his hand open so she could move them away if she wanted.

The mind sometimes works in a strange way, because this made her remember he did a similar thing, when she came back from the grave, caring about fixing her hands that time, too.

And this time again she simply stayed there, lost in his gaze.

“Let her fix them.” Could she hear love in his voice? Here, just a few inches from Lilea.

“What?” Buffy seemed confused.

“Lil.” He explained to the girl on the bed. “The talisman burned her hands. Can you fix them? Do you feel strong enough?”

“Spike, she just fainted, I don’t think…” Buffy tried to move away, but even with his open hand he could hold her wrist.

“No, It’s ok… I’m ok. I would be glad to help you, Buffy, if you allow me…”

“I…”

Again he was staring at the slayer. His blue eyes were looking into her soul, so deeply that she thought that it could hurt. Then after a moment he promised, “She can do it.” He paused for a moment then, almost without realizing it, he added, “Trust me.”

Buffy by instinct answered without thinking about it. “I do… I mean…” Did she really just say that she trusted that soulless vampire? How could she have done that? She knew how much Spike was affecting her lately… well since he came back. And how hard she had tried to refuse to feel this connection with him and… and she had failed. Since he came back, since he took her in his arms that night in hospital. She lowered her head and sighed. And for a moment before speaking Buffy felt as if she was just falling into some trap. “What I’ve to do?”

Lilea smiled for the small Freudian slip about Buffy’s trusting in Spike and she stared the Slayer colors become crazy for the emotions after that. She could see how confuse Buffy was. Definitely they will have to speak a lot, but not now. She, in this moment, needed that Buffy was ready to feel energy. Of course Lilea could use her own connection with earth, that she felt even stronger after she touched the talisman, but this wasn’t what Buffy needed. What she really needed was the energy of her relationship with Spike, and this would help her not just for cure her hand. Buffy pain was inside, as if it was scare of feeling everything. Spike said more and more time that Buffy before Lilea, was probably the person that know him better, even better than Drusilla. Buffy’s fear of feeling, of course was worse after what Spike did her last Spring. But he was changed and still the slayer seemed not notice that. Then Lilea realized it wasn’t true. Buffy knows. Buffy felt it, even if she tried to not.

So, in this moment Lilea took a decision. It wasn’t her that was going to heal only Buffy, but Spike too. Both of them needed that. A big smile appeared on Lilea’s face. “Just sit down and relax.”

The reluctant slayer sat on the bed, not too far, but trying to be not to close to the other girl.

Spike released her when she moved and took a couple of steps. “I let you girls alone”

“No way!” Lilea stopped him with a firm voice. “You’re going to sit down near Buffy and keep do her whatever you were doing her a moment ago. We need your help.”

Spike grumble a couple of time, part of him wanted run away faster, and the other half of himself was screaming inside of him when he felt Buffy’s hand trembled a little when he took them again.

This time the gesture wasn’t so spontaneous like few minutes ago and the improbable couple felt more embarrassed but Lilea smiled again because she could see their colors was embracing each other as if Spike’s were protecting Buffy’s.

Lilea stretched reaching slayer’s hands but she had a lot of difficulties to brush both Spike’s the position wouldn’t be really comfortable for any of them even of they were contortionists. She had to take a difficult decision. And probably her friend (or both of them) would be hate her for that.

“Spike, I need you sit on this bed as if you are going to take my hands and keep your leg open, because Buffy is going to sit between them.”

“What?” Spike’s voice probably would be less scandalized if Lilea would ask him to get naked and dance a Snoopy dance.

“Do it!” She said firmly. “So Buffy can sit between us.”

“What in hell are you thinking about? You can’t ask this! I asked you to cure her hands not… She need her space, and her space isn’t close to mine.”

Lilea didn’t care him at all, she knew the other girl was tempted to run away just now. So she brushed her hand and looking toward her friend said with her more honest voice.

“Buffy it wont be long, and I know you don’t understand this and I’ll explain you later, if you want. If you want we can invert the positions and I can sit between Spike and you. You have just to tell me. But believe me, this is the better choice. It’s a energy matter. And if or whatever you want me stop you have just to tell me.”

For a moment the wiccan slayer thought she asked both doing something her friends weren’t ready for. But she was sure they need that to heal each other’s pain.

“It’s ok.. I can do that. Just do it fast, ok?” Buffy voice was nothing more than a breath.

“Now Spike take her hands again” He did, the blind girl set her breath at the same rhythm of Buffy’s and took their hand too.

Energy started to flow.

Buffy looked the girls sit in front of her: She was smiling sweetly and every moment her smile seemed become wider and her eyes more melancholic. Buffy didn’t know how long she stared her, but then she started to feel a pleasant tactile sensation, of warmth flowing from her hand, and then to all her body, but the energy didn’t flow just from the girl sit few inches far away. This magical wave of heat was arriving also, and it was the warmer part, from Spike. It was a so unique feeling. Not a sexual thing, but a communion of souls. Well in Spike’s case - she thought - was more appropriate using the ‘communion of spirits’ expression.

She then she could feel his breath on her neck.

God, vampires never do that and he did it all the time. She always wondered why. But his warm breath almost made her loose her control. She slowly turned her head toward him.

His eyes were closed, the expression on his face seemed engaged or kidnapped by his thoughts.

She looked at him for some seconds, until him suddenly open his eyes as if he realized she was staring.

After a long while he bet his head on his side and he smiled her a ghost smirk.

“Don’t think, Buffy. Just feel that” Lilea’s sweet voice whispered her.

And Buffy tried again to make a blank into her mind, trying to not feel how painful was be there so close to Spike and still so far, being in the middle between Spike and his new girlfriend, and how it was hurting her, and feeling her own hand healing, without any physical pain and know that Lilea was responsible for that and than without know why, or how, she felt tears come close and she even if she tried hard to stop it a sob escaped.

“Buf? It’s all ok?” But she didn’t answer.

She could hear Spike breath her name again, against her ear. “I’m sorry... I…don’t” she whispered with a trembling voice.

“It’s ok, sweetie, it’s the energy, let it flow… let the pain go away….” Lilea caressed her wrist, reassuring her, but holding them, in order to avoid her to run. If Buffy would be escaped now, Lilea couldn’t help her anymore. “Nothing is wrong here. Not anymore. You have just to feel it.”

And almost in the same moment Buffy started to sob without control, she tried to use her hand to cover her face but Lilea didn’t let her wrist. She was holding them with a touch gentle but firm, as a mother when help her kid to stand-up after being fall. But this wasn’t helping her to feel less ashamed for her tear. Cry in this way, just in front an almost stranger and Spike. She tried to wipe her tears against her own shoulder.

She felt Spike move, tending his body toward her, his right hand moved from her wrist to her left shoulder, then she moved slowly back, letting herself lean against his chest while she could feel his face against her hair.

And she realized how badly she wanted trust him again.

Then Lilea very carefully caressed the Slayer’s palms. Both of them were perfectly healed now. She moved slowly her had away, let her fingers move lightly on Buffy’s until she broke the contact, releasing them.

In the same moment Buffy’s hands, as if was a reflex, moved to cover Spike’s, giving him a silent permission of held her, and he did, a little tightly but with a uncommon sweetness.

They stayed motionless until Buffy’s sobs calmed down then Spike gently wiped her tears.

“It’s end pet… You’re ok now.” And his other hand started to caress her back.

Buffy’s found herself smiling him, but part of her felt cold inside when he released his embrace.

When Lilea felt that everything was calm again, moved toward Buffy. She looked for the other girl hands, hoping of meet her eyes.

“Are you ok? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to made you cry… I couldn’t know how this will worked. But I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Lilea was now again pale and seemed tired, but happy.

“How did you… my hands…” Buffy looked at them and then to the girl.

“Just like new ones.” The blind girl smiled her finding in a way to lay down without crushing. “I can’t do it now… but We need to speak. I have to explain.” Lilea yawned “not now. I need a nap. ‘m so tired.” And she fell asleep, as if she fainted again.

Buffy caressed Lilea’s face and she bent to kiss her head, as she would done with a sleeping Dawn. Then she looked toward Spike, who was still sitting on the bed, with a lost look in his eyes, motionless, even after the slayer stood up. He seemed confused, then he realized Buffy was staring at him, so he let himself meet her eyes.

They looked at each other for a long moment, then Buffy smiled. “Thanks.”

He hesitated before answering “For what?”

She felt silly when she whispered, “My hands.”

He shrugged, almost embarrassed “I didn’t do anything.”

“You did. You asked her... and gave your energy... I felt it. And…” now her voice was just an embarrassed whisper “and you let me cry...”

“If I’m not the one you blame for your weeping… you can do that any time. I had a lot of practice with Lilea, lately. I should have a business: ‘Shoulder available for crying on, reasonable rates.”

Buffy shook her head. This guy was able to ruin every time she tried to make some sort of connection. He was avoiding it and had been doing ever since he came back. He was stopping her moving closer to him, in an emotional way, and yet he was always present when she needed him, for a fight-buddy or for real emotional support, like that night in the hospital. He was there for her, even if his life now was just dedicated to Lilea’s needs. He did that first with Drusilla, then with her, now with his new girlfriend. He claimed eternal love less than six months ago, and now he had a new interest.

Buffy found herself staring at Lilea again. “She’s nice, she reminds me a lot of Tara, even thought they are quite different. I guess that’s why Will doesn’t get on so well with her.”

Was she blabbling? Was she just trying unconsciously to delay her leaving the room? She was the first one who couldn’t answer to her own question. How could expect other people to understand her?

Spike smiled again to her, then he looked over to his sleeping friend. “Well, she has more problems fitting in with humans than with demons lately…and that isn’t usual for a slayer.”

Buffy found herself smiling at him again, before realizing she was doing it. “She’s a strange one… in a good way.”

“You are strange too. Not sure about the good way” Buffy gave him a bad look but then she realized from his eyes that he was joking.

“And you’re crazy… you’re playing with fire with me,” she warned.

He started to say, "I used to love your fire..." but appeared to change his mind as he shrugged and lapsed into silence. Then changing his voice, trying to sound casual, he added “You know, I think I’m just tired. Do you think they” he pointed the other room “will mind if I sleep a little?” Then he stopped again. “As if *I* care. Lilea has too much good influence on me. She’s making me polite again! I needed one hundred plus years to forget about that.” He moved near the dreaming girl’s ear, caressing her hair. ”Maybe I should kill you,” he whispered.

Even Spike wondered how she could be able to hear him, but the dormant slayer answered somehow. “’m sleepin’ now… maybe later.”

“You keep saying that to her - why?” Buffy stepped toward the bed again.

“Long story.” Spike shrugged.

“I have time,” she answered nonchalantly.

“It’s silly,” he retorted.

“Now I’m curious.” Her voice started to sound a little exasperated.

“No you aren’t.”

Buffy crossed her arms, a resolute look on her face that said she wasn’t going to leave unless he explained first, mixed with a big amount of sceptical disapproval. “I’m even more curious now.”

Darn - even Dawn had the same posture when she wanted something from him, when they had still been friends.

“You’re impossible!” he growled, but he answered anyway. “When I met Lilea, the very first time, she had no will to survive, she still didn’t realize that Navarre was with her in his wolf-like form. So I said to her, ‘If you don’t find any good reason to stop me killing you I’ll do it’, she didn’t have, so I should have killed her, but look at her, how could I do that? She was hurt, bleeding and I wasn’t even hungry, she was already at risk of death from all her injuries. So I told her she wasn’t dressed properly. You know, like in the movies, you die and you find yourself as a ghost with the same bloody clothes for the rest of eternity…It wasn’t even a good joke. Actually, it was really a pretty lame one. But she started to laugh. Crying and laughing at the same time. Then she hugged me. And when her sobs calmed down she said that she wanted to live.”

“It was nice of you.” Buffy smiled at him. “Helping to save her life, I mean.”

“Yeah, and with her strange sight cheating at kitten poker is a joke!” An amused look shone in his eyes.

“You’re insufferable!” She hit him, a little more violently than she should have done if he’d been a normal man, but really very weakly for a vampire. And for a moment Spike felt as if she was looking at him as a real man, a human being.

“Buffy, there is something I want you to know…something about me. After that night when I …” Again he breathed in, like he did earlier when she was crying - and again she wondered why he did that when he didn’t need to. “…left…”

Buffy moved a step closer. She moved her trembling hand toward his mouth and covered it. She couldn’t listen to him.

“Spike, I don’t wanna talk about that, not anymore, I don’t want even to think about that. You have no idea how much that hurt me. You were the one I trusted more than anyone. Even though I acted in a bitchy way, even though I was rude to you, I knew I could trust you. Maybe never love you, but I really did trust you. Always. Even when I tried to hate you. But yours was the worse betrayal in all my life. And believe me I had a lot of them. You made Angel’s departure seem like a glass of water. You hurt me. I don’t want it to happen again. I won’t let it happen again.” Her voice was trembling with emotion and rage.

Buffy couldn’t believe she was the one who was speaking. She was actually facing her own pain, even though this was giving her mixed feelings. Did this mean she was really growing up?

Spike lowered his head, unable to look at her. He seemed deeply affected by her speech. “I know it’s worth nothing to you, especially now, but you can do that - trust me - forever.”

How could he dare say that? How, after all he had done to her. “These are words. Only words, Spike. You said you never meant to hurt me, and you lied - you tried to rape me less than a week later.” And she walked out of the room. Hurt again, this time even deeper than minutes ago.

Spike raised his eyes, staring at Buffy leaving the room. Maybe Lilea had been right, he needed to tell “his Slayer” everything. And she would understand, and believe him, as she had done with Angel. He killed Giles’ girlfriend, tortured Giles, tried to kill her and Buffy had forgiven him… could she…

‘No. She can’t. She loved Angel. She never loved me. She never will.’

The vampire lay down near Lilea, hugging her, in a sort of desperate way, hiding his face against her neck while his soul was screaming to him. How could he deal with all he had done without going crazy? How long would he be able to resist?

“Help me, Lil, help me,” he muttered.

Still without waking up, the slumbering girl snuggled against the vampire, as she had become used to doing since they started to share the bed months ago, softening each other’s pain. But this time was different, even more desperately than other times. Because Spike felt as if he had just lost Buffy again.

Chapter 26

Things didn’t change between the Scoobies, Spike and Lilea in the next few days. Giles was always ready to help them, and Buffy did the same for the greater good. But all the others seemed to look at them with suspicion. Willow seemed to be quite angry with Lilea for some mysterious reasons, Xander kept looking at them with his usual unhidden disgust, Dawn seemed to be uncertain about who she hated more, the vampire or the new slayer, so she chose both. Not an easy situation at all.

But Lilea kept smiling at her “special watcher” and he acted as if she was the only good reason he was alive, or at least not dead.

Usually they all met at the Magic Box, neutral territory, since Anya seemed to be the only one able to stand Lilea, probably because she was a demon and was the only Scooby who really didn’t care about the “demon-ess” or demon-less nature of Lilea’s love interest.

But sometimes, usually the Sunday, they met at Giles’ or Buffy’s place. Tonight they had planned a dinner in the garden, in order to make a whole night of research more comfortable. The ancient monsters were increasing their appearances in the whole known world. Some scientists had said they had also seen some dragons flying near the moon, but no-one had confirmed that officially.

And further more, in order to create some more suspicion, the new Slayer had never really told anyone what she had discovered during her “connection” with the Day. But she knew something and she said she was trying to figure it out. When other people, and Spike was one of them, asked, she simply said that she was quite confused, and she didn’t know how to explain, and then avoided the topic again. So people started to worry, she seemed quite sure they will find a way, but she sort of refused to help, giving no information.

“You pigheaded girl, why don’t you want to tell me what you know?” Spike’s voice was quite altered, and when his knock on the door had been quite violent.

“Spike, I can’t talk about that with the others because it’s about our secret,” she whispered with an exasperated tone.

“You’re lying to me, too. I don’t like that! I *WANT* to know all you know.” His anger and frustration were growing. Lilea could see his color change in a frightening way.

“Spike…”

He violently grab her shoulder. “I’m worried Lil, you’re strange and different since the night you dreamt about Tara. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Spike… you’re hurting me”

“I know… I’m hurting my-self too!” he was fighting with his chip, making an effort to not let the pain increase too much.

“Stop than! We can’t fight here! You know that! We can’t even speak here.”

“I don’t want stop this again!” He was yelling now, crying his words on Lilea’s face, she vainly stepped back. “You can’t fool me.”

‘Oh, Spike, how can I, say you that you’re gonna die if I don’t stop the Gulthias Demon, and that I’m scared that you could have to give your life away in order to stop the night coming.’

“I’m trying to help... and you’re scaring me!” Lilea’s eyes filled with tears and her voice trembled. “I don’t want to worry you… I want… I want you safe, and everyone safe… I want we can stop this coming… I want to rest… from pain.”

His voice again softener “Why don’t share with me, everything is less painful if you can share it”

“I can’t speak with you, Spike.” She whispered again.

Spike’s color changed again suddenly, but Lilea didn’t need to look them in order to know she just hurt him deeply. He stayed silently while his had moved away from her shoulder.

‘She doesn’t trust me, exactly like Buffy. The most important persons in my life don’t trust me. Soul or not soul. Lil knows and still she doesn’t trust me enough to tell me what is bothering her.’

“Spike… Spike I didn’t mean, I know I can tell you everything…”

“I know.” His voice was emotionless but not able to hide the betrayal feeling he felt. For as much hard he tried never was enough.

“Spike, you know I’ll give my life for you… I trust with you with all myself, it’s not you the problem. It’s me… I’m trying to figure out how stop the night… I…”

Dawn’s expression-less face opened the door. “Your yelling are disturbing all the neighborhood. Can you do that at your crypt? *We* live here.”

“Sorry… we didn’t realize we’re speaking loudly” Lilea apologized.

“Well, you did.” She said coldly.

Lilea tried to find Spike’s arm but he avoided her contact.

“Have you any idea how much I hate have you at my place, Spike?” The younger Summers didn’t hide the despise she still felt for him.

“I guess I know.” He answered without looking at her.

“Did you already try to rape the new girl?” She asked with the same tone.

“DAWN!” Buffy scandalized voice interrupt her.

“What? Do you guess that if he wouldn’t have the chip into his head he wouldn’t try to kill everybody in this house and in the town?” The youngest Summers didn’t even try to hide her rage.

“Stop that! He’s here to help.”

“Yeah sure, like Superman. Too bad he forgot his red cape.” And the girl walked in the kitchen.

Spike was motionless. His eyes simply a little wide, all the rest of his body seemed frozen.

“I’m sorry for Dawn… she didn’t mean.” Buffy apologized with embarrass.

Spike slowly moved his gaze on her. “She meant that. And she was right. And I should go. I will back later in order to escort Lil at home.”

“NO! Stay.” Buffy stopped him. then she moved her gaze for a moment. “I… we need your help.” She made a uncertain smile, biting her lip. “Apocalypse, you know… Come inside, meal will be ready in half of an hour. And I don’t guess Lilea would feel very comfortable if you leave… ”

Slayer and vampire stared for a long, endless moment each other.

Lilea had to move her face from them. Again exactly like in her first night in Sunnydale, Buffy’s and Spike’s souls recognized, supported, completed each other.

Stupid blind people. How could they not realized their own feeling.

“I’m not welcomed.”

Buffy smiled in a funny way, coming inside before answering. She stopped on the threshold, then she looked toward Spike again, just turning her head. “You never were, but you were here all the times.”

The vampire made an annoyed gaze, but his shoulder relaxing he brushed Lilea’s hand and the girl took it firmly, “I’m freezing here, Spike, so can we go inside? I’ll tell you how much of a jerk you are later”

*

The ambient inside wasn’t really warm for the two friends, but at least Lilea could sit in a comfy couch and not freezing for the cold night. Definitely they weren’t going to eat in the garden.

“It’s turning really cold outside, it’s going to be a long winter.” Giles tried to interrupt the silence that was occurred since Lilea and Spike enter in the house. Everyone heard Dawn comment and honestly, probably but the watcher and Buffy, all the scoobies agreed with her.

“Yeah, very cold.” The youngest slayer whispered.

Giles moved closer to her. “Lilea, is it all right?”

She moved her gaze in his direction. “Mr. Giles, why people are so blind? How happen that they can’t see anything even if it’s right under their nose? Even with it’s everything so clear?” She breathed deeply. “Look the scoobies toward Spike, how can‘t they realize how much he changed? And Buffy and Spike moving around each other almost tiptoes. They… care so much for each other. And still they act as if they wouldn’t care at all. I can see Buffy’s colors become wonderfully crazy every time he enter in a room. And she hate me every times he brush me or hug me or whisper me something… and it’s ok for me, I probably would feel in the same way if Navarre acted in this way with some else girl. But they don’t admit that and this is making me crazy. I want to lock them in a room and let them inside until they don’t start to speak honestly. And then I hate to stay here, in a place I’m no welcomed doing something I know we still can’t figured it out, knowing that if I don’t figure it out soon Spike could be in a very danger and I don’t want to loose my family again. He’s the only family I have now. And I know that if I could say him what he’s risking maybe I could help, but I know him, he would try to protect me and Buffy and he would let himself be killed… and I wanted to help about the apocalypse but I made a promise, and I really don’t want to break it so I have to try to figured it out, without disappoint anyone.”

She was fighting with her tears, she was grateful that just Giles was in the room, so she could speak with him. Spike was stealing some food from the kitchen where all they scoobies were. The watcher sat next to her taking her hands. “You think too much, too much about other people. Lilea you’re feeling all the slayer’s responsibilities on your shoulder all sudden, and you were not ready for that. I guess any slayer is ready for this. Buffy was sixteen when I saw her panic out about this. She found there was a prophecy about her death.”

“But she survived somehow she is alive.”

“No she died, twice actually, that why we have three slayer.”

“What does this suppose to mean?”

“That it doesn’t matter how difficult and hopeless this can seem. There is always an hope for slayers, and for people.”

Lilea smiled hugged Giles tight. “You’re so wise… Too bad I’m too younger for courting you.” She joked.

Giles was obviously embarrassed, and Lilea could felt that even without be able to use her Gaze.

“I know I’m strange, and I have a unusual way to approach and I’m not able to have a relationship with human people. But you let me feel normal, even if I’m not.”

“You’re very normal, just amazing and wonderful gifted.”

“I want to make you a present. I own you. A piece of something magic” She concentrated very hard whispering words Giles wasn’t able to understand. She put an hand on his heart level the other on his head, trying to connect with him.

“What in hell are you doing to Giles, pet?” Spike with a full of chips mouth, but Lilea simply smiled toward him, trying harder keeping her concentration.

Willow came not much later. “I felt a big energy…” she stopped, staring Lilea and Giles. “What is she doing?” Spike simply shrugged.

Then slowly all of the scoobies arrived, Buffy was last one, wondering why everyone was so late in coming back in the kitchen.

Then Lilea’s hand moved from Giles’ head, the girl extended that a little in front of her. “She says… she says she already gave you her heart, she says you know that. She says you have to move on, to live you life for her too. She says she is protecting you, she will wait you, but before that you have a life to live. She don’t want you alone, she want you happy. Don’t be sad for her.” Lilea was starting to panting: this was harder than she initially though. “Jenny says we didn’t loose each other, I’m always with you. I always will be. But you’re a stubborn one, you always need proves, so I’m giving that to you. A prove to let you know you still have my heart. Red roses aren’t the same after that night, but my heart is.”

Something started to glow and materializing into Lilea’s hand something similar to a crystal stone, it was shining. It was hearted shaped, with a little deep grain of a darker color. Lilea gave it to Giles, whose hand trembled when he took it.

“She says when you’ll be happy the scare will heal from her heart to.” Lilea’s voice was now barely audible. Then she paused for a long second, her face still covered with this a expression of peace.

“I will always love you, Rupert.” But this time wasn’t Lilea’s voice the one who spoke, all of them recognized it as the voice of Jenny Calendar.

Then Lilea crushed violently against the back of the couch, even if she felt incredible tired, she smiled to the watcher. “Day’s present… It improved my powers… much.”

Giles probably didn’t realize what she just said. He was staring the heart-shaped crystal. He could feel Jenny’s warm, Jenny’s Love, Jenny’s essence. Jenny.

“What you did it’s so wrong! You’re playing with magic! It’s dangerous” Willow screamed to her in a bad way.

Lilea looked at her energy: envy? Can be that the strange feeling the witch was feeling? Envy because Lilea was allowed to use her magic without no one control her, without no one being scared about what she was doing.

“I don’t play with magic. I *never* did.” Her voice was just a whisper but still very determinate and sure. “You don’t even have a clue about what really magic is. Magic isn’t power. Not just power. Magic is love and this is the only magic I do. Tara tried to teach you but you didn’t listen her.” With a big effort Lilea raised from the couch and started to walk toward the door. “I need fresh air.”

“You don’t know nothing about Tara, just because you dreamed about her you guess you know her. You have no right to speak about her.”

“And you don’t know me. And just because you suffered you have not right to judge. You’re not the only one who suffered in this room, so please stop acting like the only inconsolable widow on the earth. Everyone lost someone. Mourning is not Love.”

Lilea walked outside, leaned heavily against her stick, the cold fall in the room.

No one for long moments was able to move.

Giles tried to recover from all his emotions. He didn’t talk. Still holding the little heart.

Spike looked coldly toward Willow. Then he looked the watcher and Buffy. “I check if she is fine.”

Xander took Willow into his arms, when Willow break up. “She has not right to speak to you in this way. We’re with you in this.”

This time Anya was the one who said something in the new slayer defense. “Lilea didn’t made anything wrong. She made Giles speak with his dead girlfriend. It was a nice thought. Why you all keep to be rude with her? What wrong with you? She is always try to be kind with everyone! Dawn also healed faster because she gave me the rocks for helping without telling anyone. She saved you and Buffy. She never gave any venom comment even when it was clear she was uncomfortable. She is here trying to do her best to stop this new apocalypse and this is the only thing you are able to tell her? When you started to have a stone-made heart? She didn’t even grieved on Navarre quitting because there was no time for her. She didn't tried to kill every people, she didn’t destroyed the magic box. She didn’t hurt anyone. So I guess you have no right to tell her she is wrong, Will.”

Giles gulped a little before answer to Anya “I guess I’m not the most objective person here but I guess Anya is right here. Lilea was just trying to help.” He looked toward Anya “Very human speech, you’re humanity is improving since you become a demon again.”

“Yeah, that’s very annoying.”

Buffy walked toward the window, trying to see them outside, but she wasn’t able.

“Buffy you’re silent, what are you thinking?”

“That we’re all blaming, Lilea for some reasons, and she keep to help as if we’d be her best friends. That’s not fair.”

Chapter 27

“Lil, are you ok? If you’re not we can just leave, even the town if you want…”

The youngest slayer was leaned against the wood in the corner of the porch. “You’re not leaving Buffy in any way! At least until I have a single breath in my body. You and her deserve to be together and you will.” She whispered tiredly.

“You speak as if it is an easy call”

“Gosh, are you idiot?” Lilea breath deeply. “I’m sorry I’m just so exhausted… that charm wasn’t easy at all, I don’t guess I was ready for that yet… But Giles needed that. I could feel his pain, even if I didn’t saw his color I knew he was hurt. And he told me to live my life days ago... as Jenny said to him earlier and I found that so unfair... for him. You guess I helped him a little?”

“You did something good. But... was it real? Was the really chick or you just made some trick.”

“The real one. That’s why I’m so tired…” She sounded almost outraged. “I don’t cheat with people feeling! You should know that.”

The vampire smiled at her. “Sit down a little then… Buffy will call us when meal is ready, I’m bloody sure.”

“Go outside wasn’t my best idea… I’m freezing now.” She shivered.

“Here” he covered her shoulder with his duster. She smiled him gratefully before sit next to him.

A step in the dark and a familiar voice.

“Hostile 17 and hostile 521, together… I wonder why I have no wonder in this.”

“Finn. I can’t say it’s a pleasure to meet you again.” Then he realized something: ‘hostile 521’ Riley know Lilea had a number, that Lilea was escaped… and he was armed.

Lilea rose slowly from the stair of the porch. She recognized the voice, and then Spike just called him.

“Agent Finn…” she mumbled.

“You remember of me, I almost lost my job for your fault” He commented coldly.

“You killed my baby… I guess it’s not a big price for that” She retorted.

“It was a monster. It was a demon, so I really don’t care at all.” He answered with a martial tone.

“Maybe he was a demon… but the monster wasn’t him.”

“So, now I’m going to bring you back and take you to that analyses you little monster didn’t helped for. They aren’t the answers I went here for, but maybe it can be useful too.”

“You’re not going to bring her anywhere. I would kill you, but you won’t touch her anymore”

“I don’t need your permission. Spike.”

“I will defend myself this time. I know what animal you and your initiative are. I have nothing to loose now.” Spike was trying to move Lilea behind himself. She have not a clue how far Riley was, he was walking on the grass so no noise.

Then the soldier suddenly start to laugh soundly. “You’re blind now! That’s very funny… and what a nice surprise. How do you think to stop me.” He took her right arm. Spike by instinct moved toward the soldier with violence. The next moment he was screaming pain, unable to be stand.

“The chip still didn't kill you, yet? Well then I’ll do it just now so we can serve time.”

“NO!!!!!” Lilea cried . She heard something, a gun or gunshot noise. Why shot a vampire with a conventional weapon? Then she felt the can of the gun against her chest.

“I have no idea what kind of demon you’re, but this will be the last time you made me troubles. And fire works with all the demons.”

Spike hit Riley even if the pain was almost killing him, even Glory torture were a very light caress in the confront.

The soldier pointed again and all Lilea heard was a noise of flames and the smell of some combustible.

The vampire color changed again, probably he was hurt. “SPIKE!!!!!” Lilea screamed. The duster slipped from her shoulder unnoticed.

*

The room were still silent inside. Buffy just brought a glass of scotch.

“Giles? I guess you need it.” The watcher smiled with a grateful expression.

“Surely it was quite …” he paused on order to find the right word “Intense.”

Buffy looked again out the window. “I should say them to go inside again.” The older man nodded.

Then a cry from outside made everyone turn toward the window.

“SPIKE!!!!!” Lilea’s voice in panic, and then a moment later, the window glass and the house started to tremble violently as if it was a earthquake.

“Everybody OUT!!!!” Buffy shouted.

*

Lilea heard Spike screaming again, and move himself away, she still could smell the flammable liquid odor and she didn’t know where now the soldier was pointing his weapon.

Lilea started to ask energy to the universe, the grounds, the air, all the elements, even with the few connections she could feel with the day for the charm she made earlier. Her stick fell on the floor, she stepped down the stair.

“You’re dust!” Finn said before to start make the flame burst again.

Suddenly Riley felt himself flying away from near the porch and land far on the grass, then the herb grow fast around his wrists, waist and legs. Lilea stood up. Walked toward Riley, with a glacial gaze. She could see the energy of grass around his body, so she stared pretty in his eye direction “I won’t let again hurt someone I love. You took me away my family once. I won’t let it happen again.”

Scoobies run out of the door stopping themselves when they understood what made the house tremble.

Lilea moved her hand on the bottom of her shirt, showing a scar on her lower stomach. “You took away my baby… it’s not something I can forgive. But I won’t let you have any power on me or on the people I love.”

Riley gulped, then she moved toward Spike, kneeling beside him. “I’m sorry sweety… I guess it will hurt but I have to, it’s the only way I know…” She posed her hand on Spike’s head, and her other one against the grass, calling the earth energy to help her.

She started speaking in a uncompressible way, letting the energy come through herself while tears were rolling on her cheek.

A moment later Spike started to scream in pain, again, louder than earlier, while a terrified Riley stared with wide open eyes.

Buffy run close them but an invisible energy hinder her coming closer. All she saw was Spike was writhing for pain, screaming, without understand what was happening.

Lilea heard Buffy screaming Spike name, and the beg her to stop harming him.

The vampire seemed hearing her too, trying to stretch toward Buffy, whispering her name. Then something appeared in Lilea hand. The Chip.

She held it into her hand. Then she caressed Spike’s head, “Sorry… there wasn’t any other way…” then she collapsed, exhausted, and everything stopped.

Buffy bent near a whacked Spike, taking him into her arms. They looked each other without speaking, she wiped the tears that she realized were rolling down her cheeks.

“Are you ok?” He nodded with a big effort.

Riley, suddenly set free by the herbs, razed slowly, then embracing again his flame-thrower pointed it against an unconscious Lilea.

“Buffy move away from them.” He said coldly, any trace of the fear he had a minute ago seemed deleted.

“What you do you guess to do with that thing?” The official slayer asked with an exhausted voice.

“What’s right.” Again Riley spoke with an expressionless voice. “You just saw what it’s capable to do.”

“What??? And what Lilea meant when she said you took away her baby?”

“I made what was right.” Military answer, who was the guy in front of her, Buffy wondered.

Giles stepped closer to Lilea, tasting her pulse, taking her into his arms, with Xander help.

“Iniziative captured Lilea when she was pregnant of Navarre’s. They made have an abortion and they…” Giles thought very carefully the word to use. What they did was so brutal. “They studied the fetus.”

“What????” Xander voiced all the scoobies’ dismay.

Buffy stood up, disbelieving. “Riley, tell him he’s wrong”

“I made what it was right.” He repeated. “We need information on demons. So we took it.”

“And this was what you would made to me if I would be pregnant of Spike? Took my baby away and dissect it for studying?”

“It’s different, you’re human.” He seemed outraged from he doubt.

“Have you completely lost your mind? What in hell do you guess Lilea is? She’s human too, just like me.”

“She is a demon, you just see what she is capable to do!”

“Idiot! She’s a witch and she is a slayer. It’s not like you never met any of them. You stayed with me for almost a year! You met Faith too! It’s not like if you don’t know we can exist! And you saw Adam, you see what damages science can do!”

“She can’t be human! Initiative never…”

“Shut up. And get out. Out for my life and from Lilea’s and Spike’s. If any of your organization will even try to see them, contact them or simply try to look at them in a way I don’t like, you have to be ready to my revenge. I’m a slayer, demons fear me more than they ever will of your stupid ‘GI-Jo wanna be’ organizations. Go. Now. You disgust me.”

“Buffy” He plead unable to understood how he could be wrong with a human.

She turned her back toward the soldier. “I said go.” Then she bent again near Spike, helping him to rise and sustaining him. His left arms was injured, and his head still was hurting for the deep pain of few minutes ago, he still seemed confuse and really tired.

“Where’s Lilea?” Buffy take a deep breath. Even in this condition, and even if she made him suffer such big pain the first thing he thought was her.

Buffy’s husky voice answered. “Giles took her inside…”

“No chip ‘nymore.” He said with a big effort, while Buffy took his undamaged arm and put around her own neck, helping him to enter at home.

“I know.” Her voice trembled painfully.

Xander was on the threshold. He let Willow and Anya help Giles with Lilea. He stared Buffy make an effort to keep Spike stand.

Rising the porch step he trapped. Buffy sustained him with her own weight and putting one hand on his chest, in order to help him better.

But still Xander didn’t move. “He has no chip to save us. What do you guess will stop him to kill every person here, Buff?”

No rage, no accuse this time in this words, he simply said that, just asking.

“It’s so long isn’t the chip to stop him, Xander. He faced Glory with us. He cared for Dawn when I was… away. That wasn’t the chip, Xander.”

The guy still watched them enter in the house. Will she ever learn? He had some doubts about that.

“Can you manage to arrive upstairs? Bedrooms are there” She whispered to Spike’s ears.

“I was always able to arrive at your bedroom…” He tried to joke, but his voice was just a breath and his face was still shrunken by pain.

“I guess you’re feeling better” She smiled faintly to him. “you can even be snotty-nosed.”

Spike tried to nod, without really having the strength to speak again, but even this was too much for him, so he felt himself fall down, and he realized that he was going to bring Buffy with him, so without think at pain he grabbed violently with his injured arm the handrail. Even before doing that he knew it was a bad move. He growled a sort of voiceless shriek. His faced morphed in his vampire mask.

“It’s ok Spike. I have got you… I won’t let fall you down.” She caressed his face lightly. “You don’t need your game face.”

He looked at her. His feature back at his human form, simply staring her with the most grateful gaze she remember in all her life.

Willow emerged from Dawn’s room. “Do you need help?”

“Can you open my door?” then she added to the exhaust guy. “we’re almost arrived. Just few steps.” She didn’t understood if he sort of nodded or if simply was falling asleep.

Willow helped to put him on the bed without let his arm hit everywhere. “Did you know that?”

“About Lilea?” Buffy added her answer with a gesture of her head. “I suppose Giles knew… I guess he told me she went through a lot, but I didn’t really imagine this much. She seem so young.”

“She is so positive. How can she be in this way after what it happen? How can she not use all the power she has in a bad way?” Willow stopped for a moment as if she was looking for the right words. “Buffy I felt her energy earlier. Even fighting with Riley there wasn’t any of black magic in that. When I arrived outside and saw him tied to the ground I thought she was going to kill him… instead she ... she went to help Spike. Not sure she did the right thing with the chip, but she meant.”

Buffy made a little gesture with her shoulder. “I don’t know. We, you and me I mean, have power… and we try to do our best, even if don’t always do that in the right way… You see… look at him, he’s giving his best since he started staying with her.” She sighed quite heavily, probably even louder she meant. “We need to care his burns.”

“Does it hurt so bad?”

Buffy shrugged. “We can’t leave that in this way. And I guess it will hurt a lot when he woke up.”

“I wasn’t speaking about his arm. I was asking about you.” She smiled, moving some hair from her friend face.

Buffy simply stared her best-friend for a moment. No need of words.

“I’ll took here the first aid kit. I’ll be right back”

Giles entered in the same moment Willow left the room.

“How is Lilea?”

“Sleeping. I guess she will not able to do any of magic for a while. Willow said that when she used some charm she wasn’t ready for she was drained for a while, so I suppose she will magic-less at least for a couple of days.” The watcher looked his slayer. “Are you all right?”

Buffy needed some longs seconds before answer. “Honestly, I don’t know. I just found that my former boyfriends made experiment on human… like a nazi-scientist. And that I could be forced to dust Spike… if he start to be danger… and I’m afraid he could be. Giles I dreamed he was killing Lilea.”

“Definitely not. I can’t believe it will happen. Buffy I am not biggest Spike’s fan here, I never was. But he showed he really care for her. He saved her more than once.”

“It was part of the dream with Tara. When Lilea and mine’s dream divided I dreamed about Spike drinking from her.”

“I don’t know what to say. If you guess he’s a danger you should dust him. Or we should ask her what she dreamed about.”

Buffy stayed silent for some long moments “You guess he could had killed us even with the chip, if he really meant?”

“I guess you have already your answer, Buffy.”

She whispered. “He’s wise, he would had found a way… if he really meant.”

Willow was back in few minutes with the first-Aid. She had also a tray with fresh water and a towel.

“We need to clean him… if we want to do it correctly. And I just checked Lilea… still sleeping, Anya and Dawn are with her.”

Buffy nodded. “Can Dawn sleep in your room tonight, Will, so we don’t need to move Lil?” She cut Spike shirt around the burn. In order to make it slip more easily. Part of it was starting to glue to him. It was going to be quite painfully for him. Buffy decided that was better to hurry, at least now he was unconscious so maybe he could not feel all the ache.

The vampire moaned in his dreamless sleep.

Buffy let Willow and Giles take care of Spike’s arm. She sat on a chair near the bed. Her leg crouched against her chest, her chin on her knees, a sad expression on her face.

She couldn’t dust him. She knew she simply never will be able to do that. So what if he was going to attack her now that he hasn’t any chip… but he already could harm her, and still he never tried to kill her. Even when she dump him, even when she tried to kicked him out of her life, even when he let her beat him until his face was no more recognizable in the alley behind the police station. He stayed. He fought at her side, even when she didn’t want him at all.

‘He tried to rape you.’ A voice into her head almost shout.

‘He was the most horrified for that.’ Another one answered.

‘Please, Spike, don’t force myself to kill you too. I killed Angel, once. I can’t do that again.’

‘Yeah, but you loved Angel… and you don’t… you do. You do *love* Spike.’

“Oh God” then she realized she thought it loudly “I forgot something” she apologized with Giles and Willow leaving the room in a rush.

She sheltered in the bathroom. She shut the door behind herself and leaned against it, slipping down slowly.

In Love. With Spike.

How?

When?

Why?

Just now, that he was back with Lilea, he was pretty happy, and she was pretty happy before he came back. Why now?

‘That’s not true, you know you were missing him to death. You dreamed about him.’

“Oh God… this must be a nightmare… this… is so wrong… he’s…. is Spike.”

‘You slept with him not much time ago. This wasn’t so a problem at time.’

‘I WAS WRONG! IT WASN’T LOVE.’

And if… if it was?

‘No I left him because it wasn’t love just lust… bad lust… shame, shame on you Buffy…’

‘Lust or fear of becoming too close to him? of needing him?’

“Oh God…” She felt suddenly scared. Scared of her own feeling. Scared to suffer again as she did with Angel. “I don’t wanna this… Please…”

Chapter 28

When Spike opened his eyes, outside was still dark. There was someone asleep on a chair near the big bed he were lying on. He very slowly sit, his head still was hurt him as if this was a morning after his worse fuddle ever. He massaged his temple, trying vainly to make it better. Doing that he realized his right arm was perfectly swathed.

For a couple of moment he tried to remember what happened earlier and where he was now. This seemed Buffy’s room but it was bigger than he remembered, and even if something was similar it was different, then he realized: Joyce’s room. He didn’t even know Buffy and Willow exchanged their room, he wasn’t sure about why, but he found this quite sad.

He looked at the sleeping woman: she was curled into the chair, and from her position probably she was freezing. He moved slowly toward her fighting with the instinct of caressing her hair.

“Buffy, you should go in the bed. I’ll take the chair.”

She stirred a little without opening her eyes. “Give me five minutes.” she muttered in a almost not comprehensible way.

“It’s a cold night, go under the blankets”

Still too dreaming for realize what Spike was saying. “Yeah, Giles. Later.”

He smiled “Wrong British, luv, it’s me.”

She opening her eyes “Hey.” She looked around, then she saw his bandage arm and she become completely awake. “How do you feel?” She shivered.

“I’m not the one going to wake up tomorrow with a pneumonia. You’re an irresponsible.”

“Thanks Spike… it’s always a pleasure wake up next to you.”

He smiled. “You’re welcome. Come on…” He gave his right hand in order to help her to stand up.

Buffy stared that for long seconds. “Spike? What’s now?” She asked warily, almost scared of the potential answer.

He in vain tried to figure out what she really meant. “Nothing. You’re going to sleep and I’ll go to my crypt before the sunrise.”

Buffy decided to accept his help, not that this was something she really needed or made her feel comfortable but she knew he would be hurt if she didn’t accept his hand. “Lilea is sleeping, she really need to rest and she need have you close when she is going to wake up. You can’t leave.”

He thought a moment about that and agreed. “Probably you’re right.”

“Then?”

“Buffy what do you mean?” Buffy put one hand into her pocket and she took off the chip. “Oh, that.”

“What’s happen now?” She sat in the big bed, covering still trembling.

“I promise I’m no going to hurt anyone.”

“Spike…” her voice was husky.

“Listen to me, last year when I find that my chip didn’t worked with you the first thing I tried to do was attaching a girl in an alley. Luckily you know the effect it still had on me. I want you know that. Sometimes I still have that instinct, but I promise it wasn’t the chip who stops me, not anymore. *I* stopped myself.”

“Spike… I don’t want to be forced to dust you… and I have already this problem with Anya… soon or later she will do something bad… it’s her nature… she’s a revenge demon… and soon or later someone will ask her to kill some guy… and she will have to do that and I…” She was blabbing, in an adorable scared, worried way.

“It won’t happen to me. You will not need to do that… and I guess you shouldn’t worry about Anya… You listen her earlier… She’s not a simply bad demon anymore. You won’t be forced to do nothing. Give her a chance to prove that.”

“I’m so tired…” she massage her eyes with her hands. “I mean, I’m here waiting again a new Apocalypse and everything seem so wrong…”

“You should rest. I let you sleep.” He moved some inches.

“Are we going to do this again?” Buffy asked him hiding her face against his knees again.

“Do what?”

“The ‘Rest no stay’ thing… as at Giles’. ”

He smiled sitting on the more far corner of her bed. “I guess we are both very tired, or at least I am…” Buffy didn’t comment that, but she realized just now that Spike was still moving and speaking almost in slow motion, probably for the pain.

“Does your head still hurt?”

“No, I’m fine.” He shrugged. Then he tried to rise himself but he had to sit again. “Ok, I’m lying. It’s still hurting like hell… but is improving.”

“Maybe having another nap could help you.”

“I can sleep with Lilea…” He figured out.

“Actually she’s sleeping in a Dawn’s bed… I don’t guess there is room for two in that one…” Buffy tried to say that in a casual way.

They stayed silent for a while. "Is it that I'm tired or is it still very difficult for us?” he asked apologetically.

Buffy looked at him for a long moment before answer. “I guess both… but yeah, it’s not easy, sometimes.”

“Now I really need to sleep, Slayer.”

“Well, Giles and Xander went home. Anya is sleeping on the couch, downstairs.”

“So… What I have to do?”

“I don’t know.”

“Ok, look, slayer, I’ll take the chair, I just need to sleep a little more. Do you mind if I stay here? I can took it near Lilea if you do.”

Buffy laughed a little for the so un-Spike question. “She really is making you polite… But yes I would mind if you take the chair.”

He gave her a puzzled look. Of course she wasn’t going to sleep with him in her room, it happened at Giles, but they were quite forced at time.

Buffy smiled kindly to him. “You’re injured. I’ll sleep on it. You took the bed.”

“No way! You’re freezing there! I saw you.” He sound almost insulted.

“And you’re in pain so you need to rest! Come on Spike! Stop acting like a sexist! You’re not even able to move normally! And I’m not a demoiselle in distress.”

“I have no intention allowing you to sleep on that torture chair. End of topic.”

“You’re a dope!” then Buffy stayed silently for a moment. She had to breath quite deeply before find the brave to tell her solution. “Look, this a big bed, we could… share.” Buffy looked his face with also a little of worry.

His expression for a moment seemed glow with hope and happiness, no luxury or anything like that, just a real moment where he felt he was probably forgiven. Then a moment later his face darkened and he couldn’t look Buffy’s eyes anymore.

“No. I can’t.” He simply answered.

“Come on, Spike, Lilea will understand… We’re not going to do nothing but just sleep…”

“No, *You* don’t understand!” He seemed angry and hurt now. “It’s not Lilea, it’s you! God, Buffy, I still have your pleas to stop screaming in my head!” He pointed his temple “Buffy I never… I can’t.” he rose and started to move away from the bed as quickly he could.

Buffy jumped out if the bed too, stopping him before he could left her room, her heart was pumping furiously. She stared him, right into his eyes, no words just a look, teary eyes. Until she found something easy to say.

“At least I can check you’re not going to have any human snack in this house tonight…” She made an effort to try to smile

“I won’t anyway.” He whispered.

“I know. But I prefer check. And you sleep at left, so I won’t hit your arm sleeping.”

“Buffy I…”

“You know, for being a sleeping one you really are very polemic. Look, it’s late, I’m tired, you’re are hurt so we sleep now. End of discussion.” And without look at him again she lie down opening the blanket for him.

She lied on her side, giving her back to him, hiding her face in the dark of the room. Her eyes opened wide, her heart pumping furiously in her chest, trying to hold her breath in order to listen his movement.

In love with Spike.

God what a night!

And she really asked him to sleep with her? Was she crazy?

She heard his boot turn in the bed direction, then his heavy step moving close.

He sat on the edge of the bed. “Buffy, are you really sure?”

The only thing she could hope was that he was too tired in order to focus on her heartbeat who was almost exploding into her chest.

“Spike, shut up and rest!”

Chapter 29

Spike’s ache should be still very painful, since as soon he put his head on the pillow he fell asleep, Buffy turned to her other side after few minutes later. He was sleeping, no breath, no movements. What strange sense. She realized that she almost lost him today… probably that was what made her realize her real feeling. And that explained also all the bitter emotions Lilea always made her feel. Ok, she was his girlfriend now and nothing could change the situation. Maybe if she try to tell him, but then? After all Lilea went through during last year trying to steal her lover it would be ignoble. Once she survived without Angel, she could do that trying to forget Spike. So with this hard decision Buffy slipped in a dreamless sleep.

*

Her fragrance made him aware of Buffy’s presence even during his sleep. So without realize it, Spike moved closer in the bed toward the woman he loved, his arm moved around her, his legs intertwined with hers.

“I missed you so much.” He whispered.

*

Buffy opened her eyes wide when she felt a unfamiliar weight on her side and then Spike’s leg moving circling her ones. She was ready to push him away badly, again. Ok, she asked him to share the bed but this wasn’t what she meant. She wasn’t ready for so much contact yet. She wasn’t even sure she wanted it again. But she looked at him: on his face again the same peaceful expression he had at Giles’ when he slept on the floor.

His sleeping voice mutter in his dream. “I missed you so much.”

Buffy felt tears pickle against her eyes, how much she wanted to hear him said her that. Instead he was thinking to Lilea, she was quite sure about that. So she tried to move away trying to not awake him, the idea of sharing the bed with him tightened to her thinking to someone else was unbearable. How crazy she was to think that they could share this and not being hurt. She just withdrew just a couple of inches.

His embrace become stronger around her. His head lowered into her hair pushing Buffy more against himself. “Don’t leave me, Buffy. ‘need ya.”

He wasn’t dreaming about Lilea, he knew who was the girl in his arms. And she knew he wasn’t pretending to sleep as he made more than once when they had their sort of relationship. She learned the difference ages ago.

Buffy’s heart almost stooped for the emotion. Again she found herself fighting against tears, and without be able to stop herself she started to trembling violently, chattering her teeth.

*

Spike opened his eyes slowly. The feminine figure into his arms trembling in a scaring way. For a moment he felt pretty confuse. He knew this smell, her skin fragrance. “Buffy? What’s wrong?” then he become aware of their position. His whole body froze, for the implication if his completely unconscious gestures.

“Oh God, Buffy, I didn't’ mean…” He tried to move away as fast as he could. A guilty expression on his face as the time he smacked her in the hospital months ago. “I didn’t want to scare you… I promise Buffy I didn’t realize it.” But something stopped him. Instead of letting him withdraw, Buffy hide her face against his chest, holding him tighter.

He couldn’t do anything else that stare her for long moments. “Buffy, tell me what’s wrong?”

She made effort to answer “I’m not able to stop. Help me to stop, Spike, please…” her words were barely comprehensible for the violent chattering, whispered against his chest.

The vampire shut his eyes hard, his head fall behind and breathed deeply as if he really needed it, then made his arms slept further around her body, slowly so she could stop him or push him away in every moment. He started to whispering nonsense, moving his hand on her back in a strong, careful, reassuring way. “Hey… whatever is this we can sort it out… Buffy look at me…”

He felt something warm on his chest skin. He with all the softness he was able, forced Buffy to meet his eyes. Hers were closed, tears were rolling down her cheeks.

“Buffy, please look at me. Tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help you in this way…”

Slowly she opened her eyes, looking right into his one. “Can you… just don’t go for a while.” then she felt so embarrassed for her request she had to move her gaze away.

Spike kissed her head, caressed her hair, and wiped her tears.

“I have all the time in the word, Buffy… I can stay here forever.” He started to rock her as if she was a small baby that need to sleep. His hand moved under her shirt, caressing her back as he did earlier, just in a more intimate gesture.

Buffy held her breath tensing herself at the contact of the bare skin: sensual and warm but not sexual vibe were coming from him, she could feel Spike in a way she never thought was possible. He was there, making her feeling protect as never before, and even if his gentle touch made her tremble with desire, his touch was almost pure, there wasn’t any second purpose in what he was doing.

“Spike…”

“Shhh, it’s all right, luv, nothing is gonna to happen. You have just to trust me, I’m not gonna to hurt you .” The word didn't’ had the waited result because her tears become sobs.

He bent his head again on her, kissing her forehead, he wanted so desperately say something to force her to feel better, maybe he could try to make her smile, he did in really worse moment, so maybe he could do that again.

“Well, at least if you’re sobbing you can’t chatter you teeth.”

Buffy felt hurt, she was there crying all herself and this stupid vampire now was having fun of her. So she tried to push him away. “Let me go” She said with rage and fury.

He weaken his cuddle so she could escape easily, but whispered “No, I’m not gonna to leave you in this state. I wanna be sure you’re ok, if you want I can move on the chair, but not until you stop to tremble in this way.” She didn’t remember someone talk to her in a so sweet, persuasive, loving voice. “Is this ok for you?” She nodded against his chest. “Good girl”.

He caressed her head and back, probably for an hour or so on. Slowly Buffy calmed, her trembling vanished, but still they didn't’ move, Spike gradually stopped to caress her, until they stayed motionless for a long while.

Buffy guessed he probably felt asleep again. So carefully she tried to slip off the bed, but in the same moment Spike moved away his arms, letting her to do that without any effort.

Even in the darkness of the room they could stare each other, and she smiled to him, moving one of her hand on his arm.

He growled for the pain and she remembered about the fire. “Oh, God, I’m sorry… I wasn’t thinking.”

"It's ok, luv, love hurts, we both know that." He smiled to her, sitting on the bed. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

She shook her head without ever losing contact with his eyes, chewing her lips nervously.

He stretched his hand toward her face, his finger lightly caressed her lips. "You'll end up bleeding if you keep that up." His eyes shone with a malicious light. "Have you any idea how tempting it would be, Slayer?" But he had already moved away, wore his boot, standing in the middle of the room. He stretched his shoulders, making them creak.

He looked at his left arm. “Well, I suppose it could end worse.”

“Does it still hurt?”

“Like hell. But at least it remember me that I’m not dust yet.” He walked toward the door. “Buffy… Thanks for letting me help you.” And he vanished toward Lilea’s room.

*

He sat on the small bed, Lilea stretched rubbing her eyes. “Hey”

“Hey, how’re you?”

“Tired.” She mumbled “But you’re happy.”

He pretend to growl “Don’t spoil always everything. And Yes I’m happy”

“And you’re sad too.”

He paused “Yeah, Miss IKnowEverythingEvenWhenI’mBloodySleping, I’m sad too. ”

Lilea tensed for a moment before speak again. “Where is him?”

“Finn?” She nodded. “Buffy made he go away. He’s not going to be a problem anymore.”

“Good. ‘m so tired.” She breathed deeply. “How’s your head?”

“Better, and so my burn”

“I can’t heal you… sorry… I feel empty… like no magic at all”

“Rest. That’s what you need. Don’t worry you’ll be ok” He caressed her head.

“But I need all my magic, to protect you.”

He moved some inches in order to see her eyes. “What in hell you mean?”

“The prophecy. You are the key.” She whispered.

He shook his head. “Dawn is the key.”

“No. You’re. The ancient and new soul… Dawn is at least 3 years old, it’s not new anymore”

“Anya?”

“She is a revenge Demon. She never lost her soul. They need soul for hate more. Can we speak

tomorrow? I don’t know what I am saying.”

“It’s more easy making you say the truth.”

Lilea rested her head against Spike chest.

“Do you would like be mortal again?”

“I need my vampire power . I can’t help you or Buffy without them. Of course be mortal would be great but it’s not going to happen.”

“Lil, I guess she has something that’s worrying her… she was so sad earlier… God, Lil, have you any idea how I felt when she cried in my arms? She seemed so fragile and desperate… she never did… she never let herself cry, not with me. Just that time in hospital… but no one is dying today…”

The youngest slayer caressed her face yawning again before answering. “I’ll speak with her. She will be fine after that.”

“You already know what she has”

“The same you’ve. I still have to decide if you both are more blind than me or simply mortally stupid. Now Sweety… Let me sleep or I’ll start to cry like a little baby.”

“There is enough room for two here?” She moved in the bed letting him more space.

Spike laid and Lilea rested against his chest. “What in hell you mean that we have the same thing?” He asked a moment later.

The girl gaping long before to answer. “You’re completely in love for each other and you’re too scared about this in order to admit it openly. Now, if you’re not going to let me sleep I’m going to kill you, without even ask if I can.”

“ Ok, Ok. I let you sleep…” Just a moment later he added “Lil?”

She pretend to weep “PLEASE sleep!”

“Thanks for the chip”

“Ya’re welcome, bro.”

Chapter 30

Lilea fell asleep in a few seconds, her head resting on his chest. She seemed tranquil, still exhausted, but at peace. That was the last thing Spike saw before he succumbed to his tiredness.

*

Lilea walked slowly, looking herself around. “Where Am I?” she asked loudly.

No answer. Everything was so unclear, not scary but still confusing. There was a feeling of calm here.

“Is someone here?”

“You already know that what you did today isn’t enough, don’t you?” A familiar voice spoke from behind her shoulder.

Lilea smiled at Tara.

“I know… But I couldn’t let Riley…”

“You already know Navarre left so I could come to help you…”

Lilea simply nodded slowly. “You connected with the day… and this helps too. But you need to do more. Spike is in a real danger. As soon as they will admit their real feelings the danger will be bigger. You have to stop the danger before it stops Spike. You’ll need someone else’s help to do tt. I can’t tell you any more about this.”

“I’ll figure it out… Tara… How can we stop the Nightcoming?”

She smiled. “You know I can’t tell you… but you don’t have to be alone in this too. You need others. It wouldn’t be a problem if you knew them. They aren’t bad… They need time.”

“Maybe they just need to see things they aren’t ready for…” Tara smiled back at hee. “I’m sorry if I offended Willow, today.”

“You told her what she needed to know. And you were right. Magic is Love, not destruction. Magic is life.” She paused. “I’m sorry… I have to make you live to again… it will keep happening until you find the right way…”

“What do you mean - live what again?”

Then everything around her changed and she found herself in the usual crypt where her nightmares always end.

She saw the arrow hit Spike while he protected Buffy with his body, then a crying Buffy kill the demon and then hold a dying Spike confessing her love.

Lilea saw Spike raise his hand toward Buffy’s face with a tender gesture. He caressed her cheek and his finger caressed her mouth, then suddenly the hand fell to the ground and Buffy cried out his name.

Lilea found herself sitting on the bed, as she had done every time she ended the nightmare. Tears on her cheeks this time were flowing uncontrollably. She covered her own mouth to stop any sound from slipping from it.

Spike’s lights were sleeping next to her.

She rose slowly, trying to find a way to move away from the bed. She had no idea where she was, so she needed to be more careful than usual. In another situation she could try to cast a spell but she still didn’t feel ready to try any magic. She found the room door, somehow, and then corridor. Not many steps after she saw a familiar light, motionless. Ok that one must be Buffy’s room, so not far she should find the staircase. A glass of water probably would probably help to calm her down. Again, slowly, step by step she arrived at the ground floor. Now she knew her direction toward the kitchen.

A light was there. She wasn’t the only one awake that night.

“Anya?”

“Hey! Do you feel better?” Lilea nodded. “I can’t sleep. We didn’t have the dinner, now I’m starving.”

‘You have to stop the danger before it stops Spike. You’ll need someone else’s help to do that.’ Tara’s words resounded in Lilea’s mind.

“Anya… how does your power work?”

“What do you mean?”

“When can you grant wishes?”

“Well, I’m vengeance demon, so revenge is what gives me power… a girl told me that she wished her ex-boyfriend would turn into a worm and he did it.”

“And if a girl wanted to teach a lesson to the person who took away her boyfriend?”

Anya for a moment felt Lilea’s need for revenge grow and she started to be scared. Did the new slayer want to punish Buffy for sleeping with Spike tonight?

“Well it works too… I mean revenge is something deep… Scary. You don’t want to deal with that.”

“Then I wish you could help me to stop the one who stole my boyfriend from me…”

“NO, NO! I don’t want…” She moved away from Lilea quickly.

“Please!! I need your help! I need your power!”

“I’m not gonna to let you kill Buffy!”

There was a moment of silence. A long one. Then Lilea burst out laughing. She covered her mouth to stop the noise but tears rolled down on her cheeks “Buffy… You mean Spike and me… That’s why… Spike…”

Anya walked carefully toward the laughing girl. “I think you’re gone crazy, you know?”

Lilea wiped her tears, trying to control herself. “You thought I wanted Buffy dead and I’m the crazy?”

“Then I’m confused.”

“I need your help to stop the demon who killed Navarre. And I have a very short time in which to do it.”

“I can’t kill this demon.”

“Then Spike will be dead too. Gulthias is going to kill him.”

“How do you know?”

“Anya… he could kill Xander or you as well… he hates it when demons and mortals are involved with each other. He killed Navarre, he made me blind… and now he’s going to attack Buffy… and Spike will die in order to save her. I went into this. I don’t want Buffy to go what I went through. I guess being Buffy a Slayer gives him more access to his knowledge of this love… I don’t know how this works.”

“Xander too?” Lilea just nodded. “I can’t kill the demon. It’s not allowed for me do that.”

“Darn… well we can find a solution… If we warn Spike he will try to do something stupid and he will be killed anyway. The same thing will happen if we tell this to Buffy…”

“Tell me what do you know.”

“Spike and Buffy will be in a crypt, not Spike’s, this one is quite empty, it hasn’t all his fornitures in it. They will fight against some vampires and then Gulthias will appear and he will shoot Buffy but Spike will protect her, and the arrow will hit him, Buffy will kill the… demon but Spike will… I can’t let him die in her arms. I have to stop that…” She stopped “The arrow… I have to stop the arrow… It’s the only way… Can you help me to do that?”

“You know it will be risky? You might die in that.”

“If I die… you have to promise you’ll help Spike to fulfill the prophecy… he’s the only one who can stop the Night. He belongs to the Night… I think I understood the prophecy. Anya nothing of what I’m telling you now can leave this room. You have to be silent for the greater good.”

“I promise. But I don’t like it”

“And when the time of the Night arrives, good and bad forces will be joined, and this means the Scoobies will be joined with you and Spike, for the bad forces, you’re both demons, even though you’re not evil. This explains ‘because good and bad will not exist anymore. Death will not be the difference’ it’s you, Spike, Buffy and Tara’s help. ‘The One will become three’ Three slayers, three chosen ones, and an ancient but new soul will be a key’ - this must be Spike, his soul is something new, he chose it, and for that he fought his inner demon, ‘mothers who are not’, this must be Buffy and I, Dawn was made by her, I was pregnant but never become a mother. ‘Dead and undead will work together’ – again, this is all of us, and ‘love and revenge will work together for the same purpose’ - I suppose this can be you and me, ‘Heaven and Hell will stop fighting in order to stop the time and a new night will not come’.” She paused again for a moment. “I’ll try to figure out this more. I’ll find a way, so if anything happen to me… you’ll know… I’m starting to panic, am I?”

“Lilea… you know you might die” Anya said again.

“If I save Spike, the world could be safe. If I don’t, we will all be dead anyway. Remember - not a word to anyone.”

“Ok, then make your wish again.”

“I wish I can stop Gulthias from killing Spike, and that Buffy can kill him like he deserves for destroying so much love.” Anya lowered her head.

“Spike will kill me, but,” her face changed for a second, “your wish is granted.”

Lilea hugged her. “Thanks. I couldn’t do this without you.”

“Yeah… I just feel as if I just killed you, and I don’t like this at all.”

“Whatever is going to happen to me, I chose that. Now, can I have something to eat too?”

“Do you really think Buffy and Spike…?”

“A vampire and a slayer isn’t romantic?”

“I think creepy would be more like it.”

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