First Aid

PAIRING : Buffy/Spike

RATING : PG14

SPOILERS : “Intervention”

DISCLAIMER : I do not own these characters.. if I did, they certainly wouldn’t be where they are and Riley would have been killed back in “The Freshman” with that damn psych book!

DEDICATION: To James Marsters for being so adorably sexy and gorgeous all in one word: Always

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He laid back and let his eyes close. There was healing to be done. He’d not experienced torture like that since the days of Angelus and he unused to the pain. Fresh blood would help but was useless to hope for. He had not the strength nor the money to get some. So he just closed his eyes.

The door opened, hesitantly, and she walked in to find him lying there. She poured the water into the plastic basin she’d kept from her mother’s trips to the hospitals. She dipped the cloth into the water and started to dab the wounds on his eye. He gasped as he started to sit up. “Lay still. It’ll probably sting.” She said.

He looked up her but did as she asked. “You don’t have to.” He said.

“No, but here I am.” He was still as she cleaned the blood from his face and chest. “Once it’s bandaged, it shouldn’t take long to heal, right? Angel always healed fast.”

“Couple days, maybe three.”

And there was silence as she washed the rest of his wounds and rinsed the cloth. He just watched her as she diligently cleaned him. “Can I ask you something?” She asked.

“Sure.”

“You’ve… watched me for a while. Am I… closed?”

“Closed?” He looked at her questioningly.

“Like, emotionally closed, unreachable, iron heart… do I… do I love?”

He caught her hand and looked directly at her with his good eye, “More than anyone I’ve known.”

She smiled a little and he released her arm. She went to opening up bandages and ripping pieces of tape to use.

“Why do you ask, Sla-Buffy?”

“I just feel like being the slayer shuts me off from love. Like little by little, I’m losing the power to love.”

“That’s not true. Anyone that’s seen you in a room with your friends knows how *much* you love, how completely.”

Silence again as she took the ointment and rubbed it gently over the cuts and bruises. “I don’t know if my mom knew how much I loved her. I can’t remember the last time I told her.”

“She knew.” He said.

“I can never know if sh-”

“She knew.” He insisted and her eyes questioned how. “I would sometimes… visit Joyce. At home and in the hospital. She was a fine woman, Buffy. She loved you very much and she knew that you loved her as well.”

“She said that?” She asked with a tear.

“She did. Over and over.” She carefully placed the bandage over his eye and strategically placed the tape as well. She then bandaged the chest wounds.

“I just hope she wasn’t disappointed in me.”

“Why would she be?” He asked as the last bandage was placed.

“Because I’m the slayer. Because I couldn’t give her the things she wanted. Because I couldn’t be the daughter she deserved. Because I couldn’t save her.” Tears began to well up in her eyes.

“She was so proud of you, Buffy. Not just because you’re the slayer, but because you’re Buffy.”

She nodded as his words filled her ears and she let the tears fall. They just stared at each for a few minutes. “Thank you, for protecting Dawn. You could have really stuck it to me.”

“Why would I do that? I lov- Dawn’s a good kid.”

“You love me.” She finished what he’d wanted to say. He nodded. “One day I might actually believe that.” She whispered before looking away from him. “There’s blood here for you. You should rest.” She said. “I’ll go.”

“You don’t have to.” He said, wishing she’d stay.

“Yeah, I do.”

“You could come back?” He suggested as she headed for the door.

She turned back and looked at him with a smile. “Maybe I will.” She turned back and opened the door.

“Thank you for the first aid.” He called behind her.

And as she closed the door behind her, she smiled, “I didn’t do a thing, Spike. *You* did.”

~El Fin~

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