Part Nine: Crux

by cousinjean

***

Buffy didn't go far. She was wigged, not brain damaged. The cemetery at night was a fine place for the Slayer to be, but she had to remember that she no longer was the Slayer. This place was full of things that she couldn't even defend against, let alone defeat.

Like the 'thing' back in the crypt? Sure looks like you defeated that. Buffy shuddered. He had been so broken. Not only now, in this place, but there. After ... everything. And in his world, she had been the one to break him.

Part of her was glad.

The rest of her felt sick. That was the better world? One that had turned her into the sort of person who could use somebody that way? Somebody who loved her?

And boy, did he love her. She couldn't deny that. She'd felt it. It was part of her now. She'd also felt the confusion and frustration that went along with it.

A wave of nausea hit her. Buffy sank to her knees, and crawled over to rest against a headstone. Spike loved her. Spike had gotten a soul. For her. Spike! The same Spike who... but no, not the same Spike. That was the whole point. Different Spike, different world. Different Buffy. Emotionally numb Buffy, who'd done the whole self-sacrificey hero thing and then got torn out of Heaven. Brought back by her friends ... her friends who were still alive and still loved her. She'd told Spike she lived in hell. Buffy wished she could reach through the dimensional barrier and smack her other self upside the head. That Buffy had never known true hell.

She wasn't sure she wanted to be that girl. She wasn't even sure she wanted that life. But it was sure as hell better than the one she'd been living for the last few years. Even if the best thing about that other life was her worst enemy.

She could hardly wrap her brain around it. Giving up, she leaned back and gazed in wonder at the newly emerging stars. It had been so long since she'd seen the sky. She kneaded her palms against the ground, feeling the texture of the overgrown grass and dirt as she inhaled fresh California air, relishing the faint scent of saltwater that mingled with the night breeze. So different from the harsh, white antisepticness of the Initiative.

Antiseptic. Buffy laughed at that. No better word to describe it, though there was nothing clean about that place.

Footsteps approached, and she drew further into the shadows. Giles called her name. She held still, tried to quiet her breathing so he wouldn't detect her. As glad as she was to see him again, she didn't want to deal right now. Didn't want to talk. She just wanted to be. But he called her again, and this time she registered the fear in his voice. With a sigh, Buffy peered at him from behind the headstone. "Over here."

Without a word, he sat down beside her. Buffy drew her knees to her chest, and for a while, they sat together in silence. Finally she asked, "How is he?"

"Spike?"

Buffy nodded.

"He, uh ... he's rather a mess, actually. When I left he was curled up into a sniveling ball on the floor. Dare I ask what he saw that made him react so?"
"You don't want to know."

"I do," said Giles, "but I won't press."

Buffy said nothing, engrossing herself instead in the patterns of ivy covering the headstone in front of her. Giles made a little impatient cough, then asked, "What did you see? Was he telling the truth?"

"Yes."

"And in this other world, there is no Adam?"

"There was," said Buffy, "but we beat him. Me, you, Xander and Willow ... Riley. It took all of us working together."

"Spike didn't help, then."

Buffy frowned. "Not exactly. But there was a whole 'nother apocalypse after that, he helped with that one."

"And we all survived that one as well?"

Buffy nodded. "You all did. I didn't." At the sharp intake of air from Giles, she looked at him. "But I came back," she assured him. "Willow and Xander brought me back to life." A bitter laugh escaped her. "And I resented the hell out of them for it."

Giles's brow wrinkled up. "You got all of this from your link with Spike? How does he --"

"I told him." She started to pick the grass at her feet. "I confided in him. After I came back, he was the only one I could really talk to, who understood. And then I ..." She shook her head. "Giles, I'm not sure I like the person I became in that universe."

Giles took off his glasses and considered something. "Well, I'm not certain whether this vouches well for her character, but Spike certainly seems to hold that Buffy in high esteem."

"He loves her," she said softly.

"Hmm." Giles nibbled on the earpiece of his glasses. "That's not surprising, really. Once he acquired his soul, it makes sense that he would develop feelings for you."

Buffy shook her head. "No, it was before that. He got the soul on purpose. Because he loved me."

Giles gaped at her. "You're certain?"

"Giles, I felt it. God, I can still feel it."

"Well. That's ... that's certainly without precedent."

"No kidding."

Giles remained lost in thought for a while; then he blinked and put his glasses back on. "I must say, Buffy, a world in which a vampire is capable of such a thing has got to be better than this one."

Buffy sniffed, and wiped her nose. "I guess." She leaned her head against the weathered granite behind her as images from the spell replayed in her mind. "I have a sister there."

"Yes, Spike mentioned that. He became quite distressed when he discovered he'd undone her existence."

"He loved her too." Buffy groaned and shook her head. "God, this is all just too much."

"It's a big decision, whether to help him. As Spike already pointed out, there's no need to rush into it."

"He deserves to go home." She straightened up and turned to face Giles. "What's it like here? On the outside, I mean. Tell me the truth."

"It's ... life is not pleasant here, Buffy. Those of us in the Resistance are constantly on the run, always in hiding. Most of us have lost loved ones to Adam's new Initiative, or to the vampires. Some people have chosen not to fight. I suppose they have some semblance of normal life ... during the day, at least. But the vampires rule this town, and those people are easy pickings, to put it mildly."

"What about Adam? I know how to kill him, but I'd have to get close to him, disable him somehow."

"I don't see how that's possible," said Giles. "Even if you were to somehow succeed, his army is vast and widespread. I'm not certain of the extent of his control, but it reaches far beyond Sunnydale."

Buffy sighed. "So. Putting things back the way they should be? Really not much of a choice, is it?" She got to her feet and held out her hand to Giles. "We should go get started on that."

Giles let her pull him up. For a moment, he stood there and looked at her, his expression unreadable. Then he put a hand on her shoulder and smiled. "Have I mentioned how terribly proud I am of you?"

Buffy nearly crumpled. After two years of being treated like dirt by everyone around her, all of this love was a little tough to take. She somehow maintained her composure, and gave Giles a watery smile before leading him back to the crypt.

Candles had been lit and placed around the crypt. Their light was helped by the sodium glow of a streetlight coming through the window. The others all appeared relieved to see her and Giles return, despite Gunn and Lauren having almost jumped them when they came through the door. Tara looked up from clearing away the remnants of the spell and smiled uncertainly at Buffy before glancing over at Spike.

He seemed to have recovered somewhat. He'd returned to his place on the window seat, sitting cross-legged and hunched over with his head propped against his fist. He held an unlit cigarette in his other hand, gazing at it wistfully as he stroked the filter with his thumb.

"Giles," Buffy said, her eyes on Spike, "you have that summoning spell?"

"I have part of a summoning spell, yes. Tara, perhaps you could help me?"

"I can try." Tara got up and followed Giles over to the supplies.

Buffy approached Spike. "You gonna smoke that?"

Startled, he jerked his head up to look at her. Buffy felt a disconcerting pang of sympathy when she saw his face. His eyes were red and puffy, and his expression ... expressions was more like it. Surprise, guilt, love, hope, fear -- all of those things and more showed up on his face in the space of a second. Then he looked away, and tucked the cigarette in his breast pocket. "Not this one," he said. He produced a pack from a different pocket, avoiding her eyes as he pulled out another and lit it.

"Sp--" she began, but couldn't say it. It didn't feel right to call him by that name. "William," she finally settled on. He met her eyes then, his face showing only surprise.

Buffy swallowed, but held his gaze. "Tell me about Dawn."

***

Spike stared, his brain refusing to move past the fact that she'd just called him by his given name. Probably shouldn't read too much into that, should he? God, how could she even stand the sight of him? Looked like she was waiting for something from him.

Oh, right. Dawn.

"Um." His voice shook. He cleared his throat. "Well, see, there was this ancient entity called the Key --"

"I got that part," said Buffy. She took a seat at the other end of the alcove. "What's she like?"

Spike couldn't help but smile a little. "Hell of a lot like you, actually. Makes sense, seeing as how she's made out of you." He swung his legs down and leaned forward, elbows on knees. "She's stubborn like you. Brave, too. 'Course, she's a lot more spoiled than you ever were."

At this, Buffy managed a laugh -- barely perceptible, but he heard it. "You might be surprised."

"I sincerely doubt that, Love." He stiffened, remembering how much she hated that; but she didn't react. Spike went on. "Anyway, that's not a criticism or anything. I mean, she went through a hell of a rough patch, losing your mum, then you ..." He swallowed, and looked down at his cigarette. "I coddled her as much as anybody. Just wanted to make her feel better, y'know?"

He chanced another glance her way. She didn't meet his eyes, but she nodded. "I do."

Spike took a quick drag, then flicked off the ashes and watched them float to the ground. "Dawn's a sweet kid," he said. "I hope I get to see her again."

Buffy's gaze drifted to the front of the crypt, where Tara and Giles assembled the spell accoutrements. "They're working on it." Buffy frowned. "Dawn ... and Tara. They were close."

"Yeh." Spike scratched his forehead. "Tara stepped up last summer, really took care of the Bit."

Her frown deepened. "She ... We have to tell her."

Puzzled, Spike looked at Buffy. "Tell her ..." Then he realized. "No. We don't."

She faced him then, anger reasserting itself in the set of her shoulders, the line of her mouth.

"Yes we do."

"What good will that do?"

"It ..." Buffy's shoulders drooped a little, and she shook her head. "She has a right to know."

"Oh, sure. Let's go tell her, then. 'Hey, thanks for helping to put the universe back right. By the way, in the other one? You died.'"

"Exactly!" Buffy's voice began to rise. "It should be her choice!"

"There is no choice, you know that." Spike shook his head. "She's better off not knowing."

"We don't get to make that decision."

"But we're the only ones who can!" He closed his eyes and sighed. Yelling at this Buffy was so not a good idea ... even if it did feel comforting to do something so natural. "Look, Pet, there's nothing we can --"

A polite cough interrupted him, and he looked up to see Tara standing there, a sheet of paper in her hand. "We, um ... Giles thinks we've got it."

Buffy stared at her with wide eyes. "Tara, did ... you didn't just hear ..."

Tara looked down at her paper and nodded.

Buffy took hold of her hand. "We don't have to go through with it."

Spike threw down his cigarette. "Yes we--"

"We don't." Her eyes dared him to argue. When he didn't, she turned back to Tara. "You get a say in this."

Tara looked from Buffy to Spike. "H ... how?"

"Um." Spike had to clear his throat. The enormity of what he was asking her to do hit him, and he found it impossible to meet her eyes. "Gunshot," he said. "I don't know the details. I wasn't there." Soul or no soul, suddenly he couldn't blame Willow one bit for what she'd done to Warren. "I'm sorry." And he was. Sorry to lose her, sorry she had to make this sacrifice. Sorry that he hadn't been there, that he couldn't have done something to stop it. She was the best of them, a truly good person. "I'm sorry," he said again. It was all he could say.

Tara just stood there for a long time, processing it all. Then she swallowed and licked her lips. "But ... but that world, it's better. Right? I mean, there's no Adam?"

Hugging herself, Buffy nodded. "We beat him there."

Tara turned back to Spike. "And I did some good there, right? I helped people?"

"Yeh. You did loads of good."

Tara nodded.

"And you were happy," Spike said, finally forcing himself to look at her. "I mean, you were in love, with someone who loved you back." He glanced self-consciously at Buffy, then refocused on Tara. "You were somebody's whole world."

Tara looked back at the parchment. It rattled as her hands trembled. Then she raised her chin, her face resolute, and held the paper out to Spike. "Here's the spell. I can walk you through it, whenever you're ready."

Buffy put a hand on her arm. "Tara, you don't have to--"

"Yes I do." She managed a smile. "Spike's right, there is no choice. And this way maybe ... maybe my death can count for something."

"What about me?"

All heads turned toward the voice. Harmony stood by the opening to the cavern below, a crossbow hanging limply at her side.

From her position at the door, Lauren charged, stake in hand. Gunn held her back. "Whoa. We can't interrogate dust." Raising his weapon, he backed around Harmony and peered through the opening as Lauren disarmed the vampire. "Doesn't look like she brought any homies," announced Gunn.

Giles climbed to his feet. "What about you, Harmony? How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to know that my platinum baby's been replaced by some souly impostor guy from some other universe or something." Pouting, she turned to Spike. "I should have known you weren't really him. You were too nice to me."

"Harm ..." Spike sighed. "How did you find us?"

"I was looking for you, in the tunnels. You disappeared and I was worried. And I heard voices up here."

"Splendid," sighed Giles. "Gunn, Lauren, go below and make sure she came alone."

"You're still with Harmony?" Buffy stood with arms folded and eyebrows raised, looking Harmony over with excessive disdain.

Harmony put a hand on her hip and gave Buffy the same look. "At least I can keep a man, Slayer," she said with a toss of her hair.

Spike rolled his eyes. You can take the girls out of high school ...

Harmony's eyebrows drew together as she seemed to remember something. "Hey! I thought you were dead!"

"Yeah, yeah." Buffy turned to Tara. "You're sure you want to do this?"

Tara nodded.

"Then we'd better hurry," Buffy said to Giles. "If Harmony could find us so easy then we really must be sitting ducks."

"Yes, quite." He knelt back down where he'd been preparing the spell. Tara joined him there.

"What about me?" Harmony asked again. "What am I like in this other world?" She and Buffy both looked expectantly at Spike.

"Um. You, uh ... well, you dumped me." Buffy put a hand over her mouth to suppress a snicker. Spike shot her a look, though he was so delighted to hear genuine laughter from her that he was hard pressed not to smile. "Anyway," he continued, "you left town. That's really all I know. You were living it up in Mexico last I heard."

"Mexico?" Harmony grinned and clapped her hands excitedly. "Omigod! My parents have this amazing condo in Cancun ... I bet I went there."

"Yeh. Bet that's it."

She spun around and went over to Giles. "I want to help."

Giles paused in the midst of lighting a candle and looked up at her. "That ... really won't be necessary, Harmony."

"Well there must be something I can do. 'Cause this world? Totally sucks!"

Giles considered this, then nodded. "So I've noticed."

The crypt door slammed open, and Giles's candle blew out. Harmony looked down at the arrow penetrating her chest.

"Funny," said Willow, lowering her bow as Harmony exploded in a cloud of dust. "'Cause I kinda love this world."

***

Buffy stared up at the face of her best friend. Though frozen in time at nineteen, the cold confidence in her knowing smile betrayed the added years since Buffy had last seen her. Willow stood in the doorway, scanning the crypt. Her smile deepened as her eyes came to rest on Buffy.

A chill ran down Buffy's spine.

Spike moved to stand between them. "Willow. I thought I told you --"

"To find Buffy." She peeked around him and pointed. "Oh look! Found her. Hi Buffy!" she added with an overly friendly wave. She stepped down into the crypt and started to approach, but Spike blocked her path.

"I'm handling it," he told her. "Go wait outside until I need you."

Willow continued to smile. "Nice try. Hey, I have a message from Adam. You're fired. And if I bring you both back alive? I get your old job."

"Not if I kill you first."

"Aww, that's so cute!" She folded her arms and looked him up and down appraisingly. "Who's the widdle hero? You play this part a lot where you come from? 'Cause I gotta say, it's a good look for you. Now if you'll excuse me," she said, unfolding her arms and trying to brush past him, "there's another hero I want to deal with."

Stepping with her, Spike grabbed her arms. "You want her, you gotta go through me."

Willow's smile twisted into a smirk. Then she kneed him in the groin. "Not a problem," she said as he crumpled to his knees. She spun around and kicked him in the head, knocking him to the ground, then stepped over him and stood face to face with Buffy. "Long time no see."

***

Giles fumbled with the matches, trying to relight the candle. "Hand me the buckthorn," he told Tara, but her eyes were following Willow. "Tara!" She looked at him. "This must be our focus right now."

Tara nodded. "Sorry." She handed him the herb.

He crushed a pinch of it between his fingers and let it fall into the flame. "The incantation," he said. She handed him the parchment. He squinted at it, trying to make it out by the light of the candle. Finally he shook his head. "You'll have to ..." But her eyes were back on Willow. Spike knelt before her, then she kicked him in the head and took him down. Without a word, Tara jumped up and started in Buffy's direction, chanting as she went. With a sigh, Giles lit another candle and held it up to illuminate the text.

"Halfrek ... oh protector and revenger of children wronged ... I beseech thee, come before me that I may invoke justice."

Nothing happened.

"Bugger." Giles pulled a pencil from his pocket, crossed out that version of the incantation, and started over.

***

"I'm not going back there," said Buffy. "You'll have to kill me first."

"And don't think I wouldn't enjoy that," said Willow. "A lot."

Buffy's fingers curled into fists at her side. "I don't want to fight you, Willow."

"That's too bad. 'Cause right now I can't think of anything I'd like more."

Buffy swallowed. "Willow, listen to me. In this other world, you were never turned. Adam lost. You got over Oz, and you --" She glanced over at Tara, who was slowly making her way over to them, chanting something under her breath. "You fell in love again. We can get back to that world, Will."

"Oh, Buffy," Willow sighed. "You haven't changed a bit. Well, except for that chip in your head." She took a step closer, but Buffy held her ground. "Weren't you listening?" She spoke as if explaining something to a small child. "I rule here. Or I will, once I bring you in. And anyway, Willow's dead." She shook her head sympathetically. "Really, you of all people should know that."

"I'm sorry," Buffy whispered.

Willow's smile disappeared. "I'm not." She reached for Buffy, but her hand bounced off an invisible forcefield. The air around Buffy crackled and hummed. Tara stood next to her and continued to chant.

Willow turned to Tara, eyes narrowed. "You." She placed her hand against the barrier, felt it crackle against her palm. "I knew I sensed power here. I thought it was Giles, but ..." Willow smiled. "You were the one blocking my locator spell, weren't you?"

Tara responded with louder chanting.

"This," Willow punctuated the word by touching the shield and making it spark, "is powerful magic. You're so strong. But you know what?" She waved a hand. "Aperire." Her hand shot out unhindered and grabbed Tara by the throat. "I'm stronger."

"Leave her alone," warned Buffy.

Willow looked at her like she'd said fire wasn't hot. Then she turned back to Tara. "She always did have this thing with denial." She stroked a finger down Tara's cheek. Tara whimpered, but lifted her chin and bravely stared Willow down. Taking Tara's face in her hands, Willow gave it a twist. The crack echoed throughout the crypt. Tara collapsed to the floor, a puppet whose strings had been cut.

"No."

"It is a shame," Willow concurred. "I could've had fun with her. Maybe even made her like me. Hey, maybe Adam can fix her for me."

Buffy no longer cared about the chip. She balled up her fist and swung.

Willow caught it with a smirk. "Adam said alive. He didn't say anything about unbroken." With her other hand she hit Buffy in the chest, knocking the wind out of her and sending her sprawling. As Willow advanced on Buffy, Spike regained consciousness behind her. He struggled to his feet, but before he could reach Willow a tiny Asian blur barreled into her.

Lauren rolled Willow, but then let go and was back on her feet. "You want to fight a Slayer?" she asked, kicking Willow in the face as she tried to get up. Then Lauren backed up a little and made a summoning gesture with both hands. "Then come get some, bitch."

Willow just laughed and licked the blood from the side of her mouth. "As much as I'd like to, I've already wasted too much time here. Oh, boys!"

"Oh man," said Gunn, pulling himself up from the cavern below, "I do not like the sound of that."

Three of Adam's patchwork soldiers came through the door. As the others launched into battle, Buffy sat on the floor and watched. It was all she could do. She looked at Tara, whose head was twisted around so that her lifeless eyes stared accusingly at Buffy. Tara had wanted her death to have meaning. She'd died trying to protect somebody. Buffy hoped that meant something. She crawled over to her. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she closed Tara's eyelids.

A hand gripped her arm and pulled her up. She started to struggle, but another hand grabbed her other arm. "It's me!" said Spike, giving her a gentle shake.
Buffy relaxed. She looked back at Tara. "I couldn't save her."

"You were never meant to." His voice held true sorrow. "Come on."

He guided her across the crypt. Gunn and Lauren fought side by side, holding off two of the soldiers, but just barely. The third saw Spike and Buffy and came after them. Spike shoved Buffy down behind the tomb and grabbed a crossbow. He vamped out as he spun around and slammed the butt of the weapon into the soldier's face. The zombie staggered back a few steps. Spike took aim and fired. The bolt imbedded itself in the creature's eye, penetrating to its brain. The soldier went down.

Spike grabbed Buffy by the wrist and pulled her over to Giles. "Now would be a good time to do that spell, Rupert."

"What does it look like I'm doing over here? Baking a bloody cake?"

"How's it coming?"

"I think I've got it this time."

"What can I do?" asked Buffy.

Giles shrugged. "Cross your fingers?"

"Stay with Giles," Spike told Buffy. He went to help Lauren and Gunn.

"Take that herb," Giles said, pointing. "Crumble it over the flame and keep it burning as I read this."

"Giles, what if this doesn't work?"

"Then we're doomed."

"So, the usual."

Giles smiled at her, then held up a sheet of paper and began to read. "Oh mighty Halfrek, revenger of the weak and granter of justice, hear my plea. Come forth from Arashmahar, the halls of vengeance, and grant this --" Giles stopped, and his eyes went wide. He looked at Buffy. "Wish." With that, his eyes rolled back in his head, and he slumped forward into her lap. A crossbow bolt stuck out of his back.

"What do you know," said Willow, coming to stand before Buffy. She slung her bow over her shoulder as she pulled another bolt out of her boot and held it up. "These things kill humans, too."

Buffy looked down at Giles, unmoving and unbreathing. She didn't think, she just moved. Gripping the bolt, she pulled it out of his back, then shoved him off of her and pushed to her feet.

Willow sneered. "Oh, please. What do you think you're gonna do with that?"

Buffy raised the stake. "This."

The pain began before she even moved, but she didn't let it stop her. Enough momentum and it wouldn't matter. She could be unconscious, or even dead, but the stake would still find its way home. Buffy lunged. Even as the currents flooded her brain she felt the satisfying plunge of wood into flesh. the last thing she saw before white-hot pain blinded her was her best friend's face crumbling into dust. Then everything went blank.

***

Spike and Gunn rammed the last soldier together, slamming him into the wall. They pinned the bugger there while the Slayer ran at them. She flipped through the air and landed a boot to the soldier's head, smashing it backwards into the wall and cracking the bastard's skull. For good measure, Spike grabbed its head and snapped its neck. He looked around at the bodies of the other soldiers. Definitely dead. But where the hell was Willow?

A scream. Spike spun around in time to see Buffy and a Willow-shaped column of dust both collapse to the floor next to Giles.

"Oh my God," said Gunn between gasps for air. "G!"

But Spike was already there. He could tell the life was gone from Giles, so he left it to Gunn to check and see for sure. Spike's attention was on Buffy. She was alive. Her eyes had rolled back in her head and spasms wracked her body. "Come on," he pleaded as he gathered her into his lap. "Come on, Baby. Just hold on. Just ride it out. Stay with me, Buffy, please!" As he rocked her, her seizure subsided, and she went limp in his arms. "That's it," Spike said. "That's my girl. You're gonna be all right, Buffy." He looked over at Giles. Gunn and Lauren knelt beside him, Lauren holding and stroking his hand as she cried.

Gunn wiped his nose, then looked around the crypt at all the death it held. "So what happens now?"

"A-hem!"

Spike turned around. Halfrek stood in the middle of the room, hands on her hips.

"Somebody order a wish?"

***

END, PART NINE

Part Ten: We Now Return You To Your Regularly Scheduled Life

by cousinjean

***

Gunn and Lauren sprang to their feet. Spike gently laid Buffy down and stood up.

"Halfrek."

"William." Halfrek's hands dropped to her sides. "Don't tell me you summoned me."

"No, Giles did. But he's dead now."

Halfrek frowned at the bodies littering the floor. "Well, he had no business calling me, anyway."

"Uh huh." Spike looked at Lauren. "Get her."

The Slayer rushed Halfrek, but she teleported out of reach. "Rude! I answer your summons and this is how you treat me?"
"I hear you're the one to blame for all this," said Lauren.

"Ha!" Bitch had the nerve to look indignant. "Me? All I did was grant William's wish. Don't blame me if you're not happy with the way it turned out. Anyway, Xander Harris is dead, so I don't see what you're comp--"

"Who the hell's William?" asked Gunn.

Halfrek looked around for Spike, but he'd snuck up behind her. He grabbed her by the hair and jerked her head back. "That'd be me," he said, snatching the pendant from her throat.

"Hey!" Halfrek tried to pry his hand out of her hair with one hand, and flailed for her necklace with the other. "Give that back!"

"Don't think so." Spike shoved her away and searched for something to smash the stone.

"What are you going to do?"

In answer, Spike picked up a discarded crossbow. He laid the pendant on the floor, knelt beside it, and poised the butt of the bow over it.

"You don't want to do that," warned Halfrek.

"The hell I don't." He raised the bow.

"You'll be stuck with me!"

He froze and looked at her. "What?"

Halfrek wrung her hands and stared at the necklace. "If you destroy my power source, I'll become human. You'll be stuck with a human me. I don't think any of us wants that."

Well, she had that much right. Spike lowered the bow. "Then undo my wish. Put it all back the way it was."

"I can't."

He nodded. Then he lifted the bow.

"Not that easily!" she amended. "I mean, I can't just snap my fingers and poof, you're back home. My powers don't work like that."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Fine. Then I wish the Initiative captured me and put a chip in my head." He considered this, then laughed in spite of himself. "There's something I never thought I'd say."

"You can't wish it, William. Honestly. You've already used your wish."

Spike sighed. "You're wearing my patience, Cecily, and my arm's getting tired."

"Who's Cecily?" asked Gunn. Lauren shrugged.

"Buffy!" Halfrek pointed to her, lying on the floor. "With all she's been through, she definitely has a wish coming. A wish upon you, no less. That's really more Anyanka's territory, but I suppose I could make an exception."

"Good."

Spike looked over at Buffy. She'd rolled onto her side and lay watching them. She pushed herself up, wobbling a little as she got to her feet.

Spike went over to help her. "You all right?"

"Amen for Slayer healing," she mumbled.

"Sing it, Sister!" Lauren shouted out, then squirmed sheepishly in the silence that followed.

Even so, Buffy managed a weak smile. "So, I get a wish?"

"That's right," said Halfrek. "And you can use it however you want, as long as it's in pursuit of justice against the one who wronged you."

"Or," said Spike, holding up the necklace, "I could just destroy this little bauble and we can all get on with our lives. I'm sure Anya can help you out with the whole suddenly human part."

Halfrek folded her arms and glared at Spike. "Your wish?" she asked Buffy.

Buffy took the pendant from Spike. "I don't know. Seems to me you're the one who wronged us all, by creating this place."

With a sigh, Halfrek rubbed her forhead. "D'Hoffryn help me, I'm speaking to children," she muttered. "That was also his doing." She gestured towards Spike.

"Right." Buffy took a deep breath, then blew it out. "Guess I'd better be pretty precise, huh? And here I thought I wouldn't wish this chip on my worst enemy."

"Hold up." Gunn raised a hand. "Just ... one question. What happens to us in this other world?" He gestured to himself and Lauren.

Buffy raised her eyebrows at Spike. He shrugged. "I don't know either one of you. I s'pose you're probably still working for my grandsire. And you," he turned to Lauren, "I guess you don't have to be the Slayer."

She frowned, and gazed at Giles's body. "What about him? He's still alive there, right?"

"Yes," said Spike. "Very much so."

Lauren nodded, and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

Gunn nodded. "Sounds good to me." He reached out and took Lauren's hand, gave it a squeeze, and smiled. "Been nice knowin' you." Lauren couldn't quite manage a smile in return, and threw her arms around his middle instead.

"Right, then." Spike turned back to Buffy. "It's up to you now, Pet."

Buffy held Spike's eyes for a long moment. Something was at work behind hers, but Spike couldn't tell what. Then she looked at Halfrek. "I want two wishes."

Halfrek's arms went limp at her side. "You ... come again?"

Spike squinted at her. "Buffy, what're you --"

"I think I deserve two."

"But that ... That's not how it's done."

Buffy studied the pendant in her hand. "Y'know, it's been a long time since I've tested out my Slayer strength. I wonder if I could crush this with my bare hands."

"I suppose I could make an exception." Halfrek waved her hands and smiled magnanimously. "It seems I'm all about the exceptions tonight."

"Yeh, you're a real saint," muttered Spike.

"Actually, it depends on the religion." Halfrek raised an eyebrow at Buffy. "Well?"

She glanced at Spike, then turned to face Halfrek. "I wish that when Spike came back to Sunnydale, in November of 1999, that the Initiative captured him and made it so he couldn't harm any living being."

***

"The top ten outtakes from the State of the Union address, Ladies and Gentlemen."

Spike didn't know how long he stood there, blinking at the telly, before he reached out and shut it off. He yanked his shirt up. The wounds he'd received from Adam and the Franken-soldiers were still there -- not a good sign. He scanned the crypt, taking inventory. Fridge, stereo, candles, comfy chair ... well all right, then. This was more like it. No dead bodies, nobody trying to kill him --

The door slammed open, and Xander stormed in, stake in hand. Well. So much for that last part.

"Harris." Spike stood his ground. "I take it your continued existence means the end of mine."

Xander stopped in his tracks. "Huh?"

Spike looked at the stake. "Come to finish the job, then?"

Xander's fingers opened and closed on the stake. "Look, Spike, believe it or not, I don't want to do this." Spike snorted. Xander took a step closer. "I don't. I mean, sure, I hate your guts, and I also hate all of your non-guts parts. But bottom line, you've helped us out. You've done some good, and that should count for something. I get that."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "But?"

"But you've also done a lot of damage. And I'm not gonna wait around for you to do more. Sooner or later, you're just gonna get somebody hurt, and then Buffy'll have to ..." He shook his head. "I don't want to see her go through that again."

"And you think I do?"

"I think you're too screwed up to know what you want."

"Oh ho! You're one to talk, Mister King of Cold Feet."

Xander closed the gap between them and grabbed Spike by the lapels. "Listen up, Chip, I'm trying to play fair."

"You got a warped sense of fair play," Spike muttered, staring at the stake.

"I want you out," said Xander. "Out of our town, out of our lives. If I see you back here again, I will kill you."

"That's not your call, Harris."

"I just made it my call."

Spike really did not have the patience for this. "Too fucking bad!" Bracing for the pain, he shoved Xander away. Nothing happened. Astonished, Spike put a hand to his head. Then he looked up at Xander and grinned. "Well, how 'bout that?"

Xander's eyes widened. "How 'bout what?"

Spike advanced on Xander and shoved him again. "No pain."

Xander swallowed and backed up of his own accord. "No ... but ... the chip?"

Still stalking him, Spike shrugged. "'S not working." The "Oh shit" look on Xander's face would go down as one of Spike's more priceless memories. So would the way he almost tripped all over himself trying to get up the steps to the door. Before he could reach it, Spike flew up the steps after him. He grabbed Xander, turned him around, and slammed him into the door.

Oh, the things he could do to this boy. Three years' worth of violent fantasies flashed before his eyes, interspersed with memories of getting shoved around, put down, and beaten up. But there were other memories, too. Memories of pool matches and poker games, shooting the breeze on patrols, fighting side by side. The betrayed look on his face after Spike had slept with Anya. Giles's haunted eyes as he told of Xander getting tossed down the Hellmouth. Spike being dragged away from that very same spot as the ceiling came down around them, too dazed to make it out without the boy's help.

Suddenly revenge didn't taste so good.

Swallowing the bitter taste in his mouth, Spike let Xander go and opened the door. "Get out."

Xander stood there for a moment, doing a pretty good impression of a fish. "Huh?" he finally managed.

Spike sighed. "I've just been to hell and back, Harris, and I'm really too tired to deal with you. Leave. Now. And if I were you, I wouldn't come back here."

He looked torn between arguing and running for dear life. Finally some sense kicked in, and he did the latter. Spike slammed the door shut behind him and rested his head against the jamb.

"Well, that was disappointing."

Spike whirled around to see Halfrek standing in the spot he'd last seen her, fingering her necklace protectively.

"I mean, you could've at least hit him or something."

"Where did you come from?"

She sighed and waved a dismissive hand. "I'd have been here sooner, but the Slayer felt the need to chat before she made her second wish."

Spike's hands balled into fists as he stalked toward her. "You didn't exactly grant her first wish, did you? I'm still not chipped, you didn't put it right."

Her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh, did I forget to restore your chip?" With a giggle, she shrugged. "Oops, my bad!"

"Your --" Spike shook his head. "You realize you've eliminated Buffy's only excuse not to stake me?" His shoulders slumped as it dawned on him. "That was her second wish, wasn't it?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Just think of that as a personal favor."

"You know, I think I can do without any more favors from you."

Halfrek sniffed. "I don't know what you're getting so worked up about. I've given you the best of both worlds. You're back in your own dimension, and Xander can't bully you any more. Of course, I thought you'd take better advantage of being able to hurt him, but ..." She shrugged. "Now stop being such a crybaby."

Spike's eyes narrowed. "Remind me why I don't just kill you."

Halfrek smirked at him, then disapparated. She reappeared directly behind him. "Because you can't, silly." She sighed. "Cheer up, William. Soon you'll appreciate the gifts I've given you."

"Gifts? What gifts? All you've done is bollixed it up for me! Without the bloody chip --"

"Piffle. You don't need that ridiculous artificial conscience. You have a soul."

"Buffy doesn't know that!"

Halfrek raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't she?"

That was it. Maybe Spike couldn't kill her, but he could have a good time throttling her. He lunged for her throat, but she disappeared. He stumbled, then composed himself and looked around. She didn't reappear.

"Halfrek?"

Nothing.

Spike closed his eyes and sighed. "Bloody hell."

***

Buffy opened her eyes and blinked up at the face of her sister.

"Buffy? Are you okay? I've been trying to wake you for, like, five minutes."

"I ... You. You're Dawn."

Dawn straightened up. "Okay, you're scaring me."

Buffy sat up. Her hands flew to her head. She breathed a sigh as she felt her hair fall past her shoulders, then looked around. She was still on her front porch, where she'd fallen asleep in the wicker loveseat.

Dawn sat down beside her. "Buffy, are you okay?"

Buffy shook off her confusion, then looked at Dawn. Then she pulled the girl into a hug. "I am so glad you're in my life."

"Um ... thanks? Me too." When Buffy didn't let go, Dawn started to squirm. "Buffy? Now you're just freaking me out."

Buffy pulled back and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry." She brushed Dawn's hair behind her ear. "I just wanted you to know that."

"I do." Dawn's brows knight together as she studied Buffy. "You're not okay, are you? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just ... I had this dream."

Dawn's eyes grew wide. "A Slayer dream? What was it? Is there gonna be another apocalypse?"

Buffy shook her head. "No, nothing like that. It's ..." She closed her eyes against the memories flashing through her mind, all of them too real for a mere dream. She opened her eyes and looked at Dawn. "I need to go see Spike. Will you be okay by yourself for a little while?"

"Hello, sixteen now? Trained with you all summer? I think I can stay home by myself for a few hours."

"I know. And I shouldn't be gone that long."

She started to get up, but Dawn seized her wrist. "You had a Slayer dream about Spike? Is he okay?"

Buffy took her hand and squeezed it. "He's fine, as far as I know. And it wasn't a dream so much as a ... a vision?" She sighed. "I don't know what the hell it was. That's why I need to see him."

Dawn nodded and took back her hand. "Just be careful, okay?"

Buffy smiled. "Spike won't hurt me, Dawn."

"Oh, I know that. But it's late, and there are plenty of creepy things out there." She considered this. "Want me to go with you?"

Buffy raised an eyebrow. "I think the Slayer can handle walking alone at night. As for the Slayer's sister, isn't she up past her bedtime on a school night?"

Dawn rolled her eyes, but she got to her feet. "Fine. But I mean it. Be careful."

"I will," Buffy said, watching her sister go inside. With a deep breath, she stepped off the porch and set her path for Spike's crypt.

On the way, she tried to process everything she'd seen. It didn't feel like a dream. It didn't even feel like the visions she'd had. Some of it -- a lot of it -- was just too awful to contemplate; but somewhere in there were things she knew she had to remember, truths she couldn't allow herself to forget. She closed her eyes and focused on the last part. Something had happened right before she'd woken up.

***

Everything went white.

"Where ... what happened?"

"Wish granted."

"So it's all put right."

"The fabric of reality has been restored to the way it was before William made his wish, yes. More or less."

"More or ... what? What did you do?"

"Me? Nothing! Why do you people keep insisting on blaming me for everything?"

"Look, whatever. Just give me my second wish. I get another one, right?"

Halfrek sighed. "That was the deal. Can I have my necklace back now?"

"After I've made my wish."

Halfrek rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Well?"

"I want to remember."

"Can you be more specific?"

"This world. Everything that happened to me here. I want the other me to remember."

"Well that's highly irregular."

Buffy looked at the pendant clutched in her fist, then set it on the ground and raised her foot.

"Wait! I didn't say it couldn't be done!"

Buffy nodded, but didn't put her foot down. "Spike too. He should remember what he experienced here. That's my wish."

"That technically counts as two extra wishes --"

Buffy made as if to stomp.

"But with all he did to you here, I suppose that would be a fitting punishment."

Satisfied, Buffy scooped up the necklace and tossed it to Halfrek. With a relieved giggle, the vengeance demon dusted off the pendant and refastened the chain around her neck. Then she winked at Buffy and waved her fingers.

"Wish granted."

***

Buffy was so gonna kick Halfrek's ass the next time she saw her. She wished she could kick her own ass -- or, her other ass, or ... something -- for dumping all those memories in her head. As if things weren't complicated enough.

Rounding the cemetery's front gate, she saw Xander headed towards her. Yay, more complications. "Xander? What are you doing here?"

"I just came from Spike's." He had that look on his face, like he needed to tell her something important and not good. Buffy hated that look.

"What's wrong?"

"Buffy, Spike ... the chip ..." He shook his head. "I don't know if he got it out, or it stopped working, or what. But let's just say the Joker's out of Arkham."

"And you know this how?" Her eyes drifted to the stake clutched in his hand. "Xander, what did you do?"

"What I ..." He looked at his stake. "Nothing!" He put it in his pocket. "I just went over there to threaten him. You know, the big, manly, protective big brother routine."

"Did he hurt you?" She scanned him for damage, but he didn't have any visible injuries.

"No. I mean, he shoved me around a little, hence the chip-free discovery."

"But he ... I mean, when you beat him up earlier, the chip still worked."

"I thought it did. He could've been faking it. My guess is, that's where he was all these months. Figuring out a way to get rid of it."

Buffy shook her head. "No. That's not where he was."

"How do you know?"

"I just do, okay?" Buffy remembered something. "'More or less'," she muttered, shaking her head. "Stupid vengeance demon."

"Huh? What's Anya got to do with this?"
"Nothing. And not her. Just ... okay, he shoved you. Then what?"

"Then ..." Xander had the grace to look sheepish. "He told me to leave."

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "That's it?"

"Yeah."

"Well. Let me hurry over there and take care of this menace to society."

"Buffy, this is serious."

"I know. I am serious. Spike could have killed you. At the very least he could've gotten you back for what you did to him tonight. He didn't. Why do you think that is?"

"He --" Xander slumped a little, defeated. "I don't know."

"I do," Buffy said. "Xander, will you do me a favor? Can you go over to the house? I know Dawn's a big girl now and all, but I still don't like the idea of her being alone this late. And I don't know how long I'll be gone."

"Sure. Where are you going?"

"To see Spike."

Xander nodded. "Buffy, look. I know you have feelings for the guy. If you can't ... maybe I should go with you."

She shook her head. "I have to do this alone."

"Do you know what you're gonna do?"

Buffy looked up at him. "What I wish I did last night, when he came to my house."

"You ... you mean dust him?"

"No. I mean forgive him."

Xander's mouth dropped open, then he closed it and hung his head. "I love you," he said finally, raising his eyes to meet hers. "You know that, right?"

"Of course I do."

"I just don't want to see you get hurt. Not by him. Not again."

Buffy smiled, then stepped in and pulled him into a hug. "I kinda think Spike and I are through hurting each other."

Xander tightened his embrace. "God, I hope you're right."

"Me too." Buffy pulled away. "There's some ... stuff ... about all this that you don't know. I'm not even sure about it myself, but ... when I get home, explanations will be forthcoming. Okay?"

Xander looked like it was killing him not to argue, but finally he nodded. "Okay. Just, be careful?"

"I will." She squeezed his hand, then let go and headed for the crypt.

It didn't matter that she hadn't been there in over a month. Her feet still carried her there on instinct, without her having to think about it. She stepped up to the door and put her hand against it, then paused. All of those times she'd just barged in, no thought to whether she would be welcome or if she'd come at a bad time ... Over the summer, the few times she'd had occasion to visit Clem, she'd taken to knocking. Because it was polite. Because it was common courtesy. Didn't she owe Spike the same consideration? It would be so easy for them to fall back into their old habits. Things had to change for them, and those changes had to start somewhere.
Buffy let go of the handle, raised her hand, and knocked. It took a while for him to open the door. When he did, the first thing she noticed was that he didn't look like he'd been in a fight, but a war. All haggard and weary and scarred -- inside, if not on the outside. Though his outside had gotten some damage too, judging from the fresh bandages covering his bare torso.

The second thing she noticed was the way he looked at her. Like he'd never been happier to see her. Like she'd never looked more beautiful or more precious to him. Like he longed for nothing more than to fall into her arms and forget everything that he'd just been through. And it hit Buffy -- that other life, the way things could've gone down between them. At that moment she felt this Spike's love just as keenly as she felt the other one's hatred, and she didn't know what she, right there and then, felt in return. Then it passed, and all of the pain this one had endured -- both because of her and for her -- washed over her, and she knew. And she wanted nothing more than to oblige him.

But then a wall of caution went up over that longing. Buffy felt her certainty dwindle to a faint glimmer of an idea of what she truly felt for him that, given time, could grow into certainty once again. If they could just not screw it up this time.

Spike stiffened, almost imperceptibly, but Buffy could feel the tension. "Well, that was fast," he said, turning away from her and going back into the crypt. He left the door open. Buffy followed him in.

"What was fast?"
He looked around for something, then picked up a dark gray pullover from his chair and started to pull it on, wincing as he lifted his arms overhead. Buffy resisted the impulse to help him.

"Figured I at least had until morning before Harris tattled about the chip."

"That's not why I'm here."

"It's not? You mean, he didn't --"

"He told me," she said, shutting the door behind her. She shrugged. "Guess it's a good thing you've got that soul, huh?"

Spike froze midway through tucking in his shirt, then he recovered and nodded as if remembering something.

"So," Buffy said, stepping down into the crypt, "were you ever gonna share that particular piece of news?"

"I was. In due time." Buffy moved to stand next to him. She wanted to look into his eyes. He held her gaze for the briefest moment, then swallowed and turned away from her. "Guess the Bit beat me to it." He went to the back of the crypt and started packing up the first aid supplies spread out on the sarcophagus. "Shoulda known she couldn't keep something that big a secret."

"Wait a minute -- Dawn knew?"

Spike looked panicked. "Well, I mean ... she came to see me earlier. Gave me a right telling off, she did. It, um, it might've come up." He fiddled with a roll of gauze. "So ... how is she? She all right?"

"She's good." Buffy stood next to the chair and pulled at a loose thread. "She's existing and everything."

Spike's eyes narrowed as he turned to face her. "How did you know about my soul, Buffy?"

"Funny you should ask." She abandoned the thread and started to approach him, slowly. "See, I woke up on my porch a little while ago with this whole other set of memories. Memories of things that never happened, and of ... other things, that I think maybe did."

Spike's eyes widened in astonishment. "You remember ..."

Buffy nodded. "So do you. That was my -- her -- second wish. For us to remember."

His mouth drew into a grim line. "Guess she got her vengeance after all."

"No. No, that's not why she did it." She reached him and started to help pack up the first aid kit.

Spike moved away from her, putting the sarcophagus between them. He kept his eyes cast down, away from hers. "How much do you remember?" he asked softly.

"All of it."

Spike squeezed his eyes shut and leaned against the tomb.

"Some if it's kinda fuzzy, though," she went on, "like trying to remember the details of a dream. But other parts are really clear, like I lived them. The empathy spell, the fight ..."

"What I did to you?" He finally met her eyes, and Buffy flinched at the pain there. God, this was tearing him apart.

She shook her head. "What he did to her."

Spike barked out a laugh. "Yeh, right. Big difference."

"Actually, yeah. It is."

He closed his eyes. "I almost did that to you, Pet."

"You didn't."

"Because you stopped me."

"But that ..." Buffy took a deep breath to steady her voice. "It wasn't the same thing."

"Wasn't it?"

"No! That -- the things he did to her -- it came from a different place. From hatred. God, that Spike hated her as much as ... as much as you love me."

He opened his eyes, but he wouldn't look at her. He just stared at a spot on the tomb. Then he shook his head. "The important thing is that that's in me."

Buffy sighed. "Spike, don't take this the wrong way, but ... you're a vampire. I always believed that sort of thing was in you. The only surprise for me is that you didn't. And the important thing is that you won't ever do anything like that again. Will you."

"No. God, no."

She made her way around the tomb to him, thinking of the despair he'd felt, both after he'd left her in the bathroom and after he'd broken the link during the empathy spell. And as he lay on the floor of that cave after winning back his soul. For so long, despair was all he knew. And he did that for her. As she reached him, she realized she needed to say all of this as much as he needed to hear it. Before he could pull away again, she grabbed his arm, then put her hands on his shoulders and turned him to face her.

"Spike, look at me. I'm ..." She swallowed. "I'm sorry."

He furrowed his brow and shook his head. "What --"

"Sh. Let me talk." She let go of him, but she held him with her eyes. "We both did things to each other that were inexcusable. But hopefully they're not unforgivable. I already know you're sorry. I want you to know that I am, too."

He stiffened a little, and lifted his chin. "So. I've a soul now, means I'm real. Suddenly my feelings matter. That it?"

"No, that's not --"

"'Cause I got news for you, Sweetheart. I'm the same as I was before. I mean, sure I'm all conscience-having and what-all, but the things I feel?" He put his hand over his heart. "That hasn't changed."

"I know that."

"Do you?"

Buffy folded her arms. "You know what else hasn't changed? You're still an idiot."

"Ooh, nice apology. Your sincerity has truly touched my soul."

She whacked him in the chest, knocking him back a few steps. "Shut up and listen!"

He rubbed his chest and glared, but held his tongue.

Rubbing her forehead, Buffy sighed. "Look, Spike, I know how angry you've been with me, and how frustrated. I know how much you loved me. That it was real, and that I was stupid not to see that. And I know how much I hurt you." She heard her voice crack, and felt the prick of tears stinging her eyes. "I know because I felt it. I told you I remember the empathy spell. The things I did to you, everything I put you through ... I can feel it like it happened to me. And I'm so sorry!"

Spike just watched her, his face, for once, void of expression. Then his lips curled into a sad smile. "I don't want your pity, Buffy."

Buffy actually laughed at that. "You big dummy. Would you stop feeling sorry for yourself for two seconds and hear what I'm saying to you?" She walked back up to him and took his face in her hands. His jaw clenched. She could see him struggling to keep his expression neutral.

"Spike, last year, when all I wanted to do was crawl back into my grave and stay there, you were there for me. You made my life bearable." She paused to let that sink in, to gauge his reaction. She thought she could see tiny, hairline cracks in his veneer. "I want to do the same for you. Not because I feel sorry for you, or because I want to even the score. I needed somebody to understand me, and I had you for that. And now you need somebody to understand what you're going through. Well I do understand, because I felt it. I know. And I want to be here for you because I care. I care about you, Spike, and you deserve to have somebody here for you."

The veneer shattered then, falling away completely. His face twisted up as he choked back a sob. Buffy pulled him to her and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Let it out," she told him, and he did. "I'm here, Spike." She stroked his hair as he clung to her and cried. "You're home, and I'm here." He buried his face against her neck and fisted a hand in her hair. Eventually his shoulders stopped shaking. For a moment he was still; then he tightened his arms around her, and they just held each other.

It occured to Buffy that this was their first official hug. She giggled.

Spike pulled back and looked at her suspisciously, and a little self-consciously. "What?"

She shook her head and reached up to wipe his cheek. "Nothing."

His eyes narrowed. "Anybody ever tell you you got a morbid sense of humor, Pet?"

Buffy snorted. "Like you're one to talk."

Spike smiled. Then he turned serious. "So what happens now?"

Buffy shrugged. "We figure out how to get over it?"

He nodded. Then he shoved his hands in his pockets and shuffled his feet, looking for all the world like a shy little boy. "We do that together?"

God, he sounded so hopeful. A few months ago, her first instinct would have been to quash that hope with every weapon in her arsenal. But tonight she realized she had no reason to. She nodded. "I'm gonna need some time," she told him. "I mean, all this new information ... I have to sort through it all, figure out what it means."

"Right. 'Course."

Buffy remembered something. "I also made a wish tonight, you know. Me me, not the other me. Of course, I didn't make mine out loud to a vengeance demon, because I don't happen to be a dumbass." She smiled to let him know she'd meant that as a gentle admonishment. Not that that prevented a dirty look from him. "But I wished for things to be simpler. I'm not sure how yet, 'cause God knows there are a lot of weird memories to sort out; but underneath it all ... I think I got my wish."

She looked into his eyes one last time, and saw that he was all right. Confident he would stay that way after she left, she turned to go. She opened the door and for a moment just stood there, looking out into the night, breathing in the fresh air. Something out there probably needed to be slain. Her best friend and her mystical sister waited for her at home, where one was hopefully fast asleep and the other was confused and worried, and in need of a good talking to. A vampire stood behind her, dealing with his own pain and, she was sure, wishing like hell that she could stay with him just a little longer. Not just a vampire, but a man who loved her, who she was in serious danger of loving in return. It was a possibility now, of that much she was certain. Maybe even an eventuality. Calling it an inevitability wouldn't necessarily be crazy talk.

It wasn't a perfect world, but it was hers. At that moment, she felt truly grateful to live in it.

She turned back to find Spike watching her. "Xander's with Dawn," she said, "so I don't have to hurry home. I thought, since I'm up, I might get in a quick patrol."

He nodded. "Sound thinking."

"Wanna come with?"

Spike broke into a wide grin. Then he looked away from her. "Yeh," he said, obviously struggling to regain his cool. "Just let me grab a smoke." He retrieved his coat from the chair. When he picked it up, a lone cigarette fell out. Spike picked it up and gazed at it for a long time, running his thumb over the tip. He looked up at Buffy, and she raised an eyebrow. With a wink, he popped it in his mouth and lit it.

"Let's go fight that good fight," he said, and followed her out the door.

***

END, PERFECT WORLD


Notes: I could tell which of my betas don't read Harry Potter, 'cause they all tried to tell me "disapparate" isn't a word.

Anyway. Thanks to all and sundry for the encouragement and cheering on, and for the feedback. And huge, massive props to all of my beta-readers.

I told some archive people that they could have this fic when it's done. So sorry, but I don't remember who. You're welcome to it, just drop me a note at cousinjean@hotmail.com and let me know where it's going.

I worked up a rough & dirty timeline for the Adamverse before I started this fic. I'll get it cleaned up and post it as an appendix, so if you're interested watch for that.

Thanks for reading!