by Chibi-red: cminner@comcast.net

Rated PG - Takes place after end of Season Five Angel, after the final battle.

Disclaimer: I do not own or otherwise have any claim on characters of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I am only borrowing them for a short.

“Just keep moving, that’s what I have to do, just keep moving.” Spike muttered to himself as he stumbled into the dark alley. Rain continued to fall, but even that didn’t wash away the blood and dirt from his face. The fight had been hell and seemed to have lasted forever. He stopped for a moment, struck with grief as he remembered his friends who had fought by his side.

The senior partners such knew how to retaliate, sending out all the nasties and evil at their disposal, but even that hadn’t stopped them from fighting with all they had. Angel, Ilyria and Charlie Boy. Champions to the end and he was the only one left.

A sound further down the alley brought him back to the present. Spike cocked his head, straining to hear where or what the sound was. There it was again. Just a scrape or was it a moan.

“All right, you piece of shit. Come on out and let’s do this.” He braced himself for yet another fight.

Who knew how many beasties remained.

When no one came out of the shadows or answered him, he started to move down the darkened alley. He reached up and wiped rain and blood from his eyes. Peering into the dark and using his enhanced vampire sense of smell he tried again to sort out where the noise was coming. Maybe it was because he was bone tired and in need of fresh blood, but he couldn’t sense anything. He stepped closer into the dark, glancing occasionally behind him.

“A’ right now. I know you’re there. Might as well come on out and face me.” He clinched and unclenched his fist, suddenly nervous. He knew he had heard something and all of his senses told him that something was there but he couldn’t tell where it was coming from until suddenly the noise returned. It was coming from behind a wooden crate pushed against the back wall of the alley.

“’Bout time. Come on out and let’s show yourself. I don’t have all night you know,” too tired to even care if another fight was starting.

The crate moved a little. Spike peered around the side, still braced for the fight. All he could see was hair. Dirty blonde hair plastered by the rain against a small head.

“Well now, what do we have here?”

The head didn’t move so Spike reached for the crate and shoved it aside. Surprised, instead of a demon there was a small girl huddled in the dirt and debris of the alley. She looked up at him as water fell down her face. Fear, acceptance and exhaustion showed all at one time in her eyes and the set of her body.

It took him a minute to register that the girl offered no threat to him as he relaxed his stance then leaned down to take a better look. “There now, ducks. Nothin’ to be afraid of. Spike here won’t hurt you.”

The girl sat wide-eyed and still, never taking her eyes off his face. She didn’t say a word only stared at him as if waiting for him to make a move.

Spike reached his hand out to her. She didn’t pull away but instead only dropped her gaze to his hand briefly then returned to watch his face.

When she didn’t take his hand, he pulled it back and squatted down to eye level, keeping just enough distance so not to scare her. He studied her face. Even with the dirt and grime he could tell she was a beauty, probably only twelve or so, tiny with large expressive hazel eyes. Her mouth moved as she moistened her lips causing Spike to break the gaze.

“What’s your name, cutie?’

She didn’t answer, only blinking the rain from her eyes.

“Cat got your tongue?” There was no telling what the tiny girl had been through that night.

The girl raised her hand and using her fingers she signed the word, h-e-l-p. A small smile formed on her lips offering a plea for his help.

Spike ran his hand thru his wet hair. “Deaf is it?” He frowned in thought then using his own fingers he signed the word, f-r-i-e-n-d.

The girl’s shy smile turned into a huge grin as a sigh of relief escaped her. Her fingers started to sign in rapid succession, talking rapidly in sign language. Spike tried to keep up but finally took her hands in his and said, “Slow down there, pet. It’s been ages since I signed.”

The girl seemed to understand and stopped signing. She sat quietly with the shy smile on her face. Her eyes blinked waiting for him to ‘say’ something.

Spike studied her face. Her eyes so like someone else’s he knew, hazel with everything she was felling reflected in them. He reached to smooth her hair, thinking of another’s hair. They were the same size, so petite but while this girl was scared and unsure Buffy had been neither. But still there was strength in the girl.

Still holding her hand he felt her shiver. “You’re freezing. We’ve got to get you out of this rain.”

She looked at him with her brows drawn in question. Spike took one hand and signed the word d-r-y.

She nodded in understanding. He stood raising her to her feet while still holding her hand. She didn’t seem to mind; instead she grasped his hand tighter. He looked around the alley noticing a doorway along the left side.

“There’s a dry place. Let’s check it out.” He knew she couldn’t hear him but it seemed to make them both feel better for him to talk. She relaxed at his side, letting him lead her into the abandoned building.

The glow from a street lamp coming thru the upper level windows was the only light in the room but it was enough to tell that they were in an abandoned warehouse. The room was empty except for a few torn boxes and newspapers strewed around the floor. Spike looked around the room, looking for a place where the girl could get dry and warm. He noticed a room located in the far corner. It had a door and one large dirty glass window and had probably been an office of some kind.

He shook the girls hand to get her attention then pointed toward the office door. Using his free hand he signed, s-h-e-l-t-e-r.

She nodded her head and smiled letting Spike lead her toward the room.

The office was small and like the outer room was dark with the only light filtering in from the dirty window, but it was enough to see their surroundings. It was empty except for a small desk and a cot placed alone the side. Spike raised his eyebrow, “Well, that’s handy.” He led the girl to the cot, indicating with his hand for her to sit down. She nodded, sat on the edge then scooted to the wall, pulling her feet under her.

Spike could tell she was cold by the way she shivered and tried to cover her legs with her baggy wet sweater.

“Got to get you warm,” he said more to himself. He looked around the room hoping to find anything he could use to keep the girl warm. He noticed a packing blanket under the desk opening. “Lucky for us they left this behind.” He laughed out loud and turned to the girl. She searched his face then followed where he had been looking, seeing the blanket her smile widened.

Such a pretty smile, Spike thought as he reached for the blanket. It was covered with dust but to them it was as precious as silk. He moved to cover her when she stopped him with her hand. She signed w-e-t c-l-o-t-h-e-s. He nodded and said, “No help for it, luv. We don’t have anything else dry.” He knew she didn’t understand by the way she continued to watch him without moving. Okay, he can do this. Using his fingers he signed n-o o-t-h-e-r-s d-r-y, indicating the best he could that they didn’t have anything else but the blanket. She nodded then reached to pull the wet sweater over her head. Panicking, Spike took her arm. “Keep your clothes on, pet. You’re just a child.” She smirked so like him that he had to laugh in spite of the situation. With one quick motion she pulled the sweater off revealing a slightly less wet tee shirt underneath. Without the baggy sweater Spike couldn’t help noticing that it was obvious he had underestimated her age. No twelve-year old was built like that, not that she was well endowed but just right for her size.

She raised one eyebrow and smirked again letting him know she was well aware of where he was looking. Embarrassed he took the sweater and turned away. Laying the wet clothing on the desk to dry he took a moment to collect himself. Now defiantly wasn’t the time for this, besides he was just going to get her safe and dry then be on his way.

But on his way to where? No friends, no job, no home, no anything. Who knew how many more demons there were out there to fight, alone. Sadness and a deep weariness came over him. “Shit!” He took a moment to compose himself, running his fingers thru his wet hair. When he felt he had things under control he turned back to the girl. She had pulled the blanket around her and lay against the wall propped up on one elbow watching him. When he didn’t move she took her hand and padded the cot inviting him to share.

Spike shook his head no then moved to sit on the edge of the desk instead. The girl frowned for a minute then smiled and signed p-l-e-a-s-e. Spike shook his head again and signed n-o t-h-a-n-k-s.

The girl laughed then signed, I w-o-n-‘-t b-i-t-e. When he still didn’t move she added, p-l-e-a-s-e then glanced at the window and signed, s-c-a-r-e-d.

He gave it another thought then decided; what the heck. He took off his cold wet duster then moved toward the cot and sat down on the edge. J-u-s-t g-e-t-t-i-n-g w-a-r-m, he signed. She nodded then raised the blanket to cover him too. Spike sat then leaned his back against the wall at the head of the cot. The girl snuggled in closer, laying her head on his chest while pulling the blanket across both of them. Surprised but too tired to object he settled back to rest.

They sat there like that cocooned in the blanket for a long while, each lost in their own thought until she pulled her hand out from under the blanket and asked in sign language, h-o-w d-o y-o-u k-n-o-w s-i-g-n-i-n-g?

Spike smiled at the memory then signed, l-o-n-g s-t-o-r-y. L-a-t-e-r. R-e-s-t n-o-w.”

She agreed and laid her head back against his chest. Her question brought back memories. Even though he knew she couldn’t hear him he began to tell her about Drucilla and how it came about that he learned sign language.

“Dru was an odd duck, no doubt about that and she had odd ideas too. She got it in her head to eat this school for the deaf.” He glanced down at the girl reminding himself she couldn’t hear him. It suddenly felt good to talk about the past and because she couldn’t hear and be frightened about his vampire life he continued. “We were in the south, Louisiana I think it was around 1960 or so. There was this school for the deaf that fascinated Dru. She said they were special and would probable taste special.” He chuckled at the memory. “But eat them wasn’t enough for my dark beauty, she wanted to talk to them first, let them know how special they were to her. So she insisted we both learn sign language. I couldn’t deny her anything. We spent months learning from them while they never knew what we had in mind. Don’t much think they would have been very helpful if they had known. Anyway that’s how I learned signing.”

Spike noticed the girl had stopped shivering and somehow seemed calmed by his voice keeping her head against his chest, so he continued talking, all the while holding her against him with one arm absently rubbing her back, comforting both of them.

“Yeah, my life sure changed since Dru sired me. Years of unrestrained power and killing, all mine for the taking. The four of us used to travel Europe doing what we wanted, killing who wanted with nobody to stop us. Me and Dru, Angel and Darla. Gone now, except I imagine Dru’s still out there somewhere. Still crazy as a sack of hammers but happy or at least I hope she is. Comforting to think that.” He fell silent remembering his ‘family’ and how much he would miss them. He would never have told Angel that piece of news or the fact that he thought of him like a brother and father all mixed into one. He had always looked up to him even while hating him at times. But those times were gone. Spike didn’t even notice the tears falling down his face as he continued talking more to himself than to the girl.

“Of coarse all that was before I met the slayer. Now that was a woman. Looking back on it I guess I fell in love with her right from the start only I couldn’t have that so I tried to kill her, repeatedly. But I never could. Oh I finally faced that I ‘the big bad’ loved the slayer but I don’t think she ever loved me back, not like I wanted anyway. But she’s happy now. I could tell when we were in Italy. I could tell she was getting on with her life even thought it’s with the Immortal, at least he’s alive in a manner of speaking. That’s all I wanted was for her to be happy, especially there at the end. ‘Cause I loved her.” More tears fell over the lost of the one true love of his life.

The girl raised her head then took her hand and wiped a tear from his cheek. Spike turned clear blue eyes to her unashamed. He noticed tears of her own swimming along her lashes. Even if she couldn’t hear he guessed she sensed his pain and sympathized.

“But I think she would have been proud of me and the others. Fighting the good fight ya’ know. Even if it did cost us….the others.” She continued to watch his face, reading all the emotion shown there. “Watcher Boy didn’t make it to the final fight, lost him first. But after losing Fred there wasn’t much left of him in the end. I know what that’s like….seeing someone you love die. Ya’ don’t really ever get over that.” He was silent for a minute, remembering Wesley and Fred and remembering how is was after Buffy died. “No you don’t really ever get over that.”

The girl could sense he needed a moment so she laid her head back on his chest, silently giving him a time alone with his thoughts.

And the thoughts were swirling in his head. Thousands of them. Maybe it was coming down from the fight or maybe it was because he needed to feed but he suddenly felt so tired he couldn’t stop the images in his mind and the pain along with them. He let his head fall back against the wall and continued, “I can still see them, fighting with all they had. Charlie Boy was the next to go. Of coarse he was half gone right from the start but that didn’t stop him. So much fire in the guy.

And then there’s Blue Girl. She had just enough Fred in her so as I didn’t try to kill her at first, but she sure did fight hard in the end. I remember there…at the end when she turned to me. She had a smile on her face that wasn’t Ilyria’s but it was Fred’s smile and she said….” He stopped for a minute closed his eyes the continued, “she said, “You would have made a fine pet.” Then she turned and faced the biggest Rantir beast I had ever seen. That was the last I saw of her. My attentions were needed elsewhere, had a few demons of my own to kill.

It was about that time when I saw Angel. Damned if he wasn’t riding that dragon.” Spike stopped and let out a dry humorous laugh, “Son of a gun sat on him like a cowboy at a rodeo. Lost track of him for a while, then….I just couldn’t sense him anymore. He just wasn’t there. There was so much rain and blood that I wouldn’t have seen any dust if there was any but I know….I just know he’s gone.” He paused as wave of grief overtook him.

The girl moved closer to him, offering any comfort she could. She raised her tear stained face and reached one hand behind his neck pulling his lips slowly to hers. They were soft and sweet he noticed but he didn’t question only took, letting his mouth open slightly, taking comfort from the stranger. Somewhere in the back of his mind he noted that the kiss wasn’t really sexually. It was more comforting and encouraging, filling him with warmth. He started to deepen the kiss, trying to pull as much comfort as he could but she pulled away. Keeping her warm hazel eyes on his, she smiled and cupped his face then returned her head to his chest, pulling the blanket over her shoulder.

Well that was odd, he thought. But he knew somehow he had to finish. He had to say these things and saying them to someone who couldn’t hear didn’t matter but her presence helped. With his voice barely a whisper, he continued, “They’re all gone. Wesley, Gunn, Fred-Ilyria, even Red, the Watcher and the whelp are gone to me. And Buffy, she’s gone too.” He paused as another wave of grief overtook him.

A small voice answered, “No she’s not.”

Frowning, Spike looked down at the bowed head of the girl. “It might just be I’m weak and that kiss knocked me loose, but did you just speak?”

She raised her head and smiled as a tear traced down her face, “Yes, William, I can speak.”

He pulled her away from him as surprise replaced some of his grief. “How come you didn’t speak before and how do you know my name?”

The girl only smiled as she sat up and leaned against the wall. The room slowly filled with a soft warm light surrounding her, making her skin and hair shine golden. Gone was the dirt and grime.

“Maybe I’m weaker than I thought and I’ve gone sack of hammers like Dru,” Spike muttered.

She answered him with a voice that was soft and sweet and seemed to sooth him. “It’s not lack of blood or your mind William. I have been sent by the Powers That Be.”

“Sent? Why?”

“I have been sent to reward you for your sacrifice.” At his puzzled look she let out a small laugh. “How many does this make? Four? Four times you have had a hand in stopping an apocalypse?” When he didn’t answer but sat staring at her in shock, she continued, “Let’s see, first there was the time Angelus tried to awaken Acatha, although you had alterative motives we’ll still count that. And then there was the Glory episode.” She leaned in and placed a hand on his cheek. “You thought you lost her then didn’t you?”

Spike couldn’t answer. His mind was racing trying to figure out what was going on. She leaned in again and whispered, “And then she lost you. It was your sacrifice that stopped the apocalypse. It was your unselfish love that saved the world. And when the Senior Partners unleashed hell on earth today, it was your fighting that stopped it.”

Stunned Spike stuttered, “I…I wasn’t alone. The…the others?”

“Yes there were others, there are always others. No one acts entirely on their own, but you have given the most and for that you are rewarded.”

“Rewarded? I don’t want a bloody reward!” In one fluid movement, Spike stood and faced the girl, anger replacing tears and confusion, “Listen you glowing…..what ever you are, I don’t want it! I want my friends back! I want Fred and Gunn and Wesley and…. hell even Angel back! You hear me! I want them back! I’m bloody tired of losing all I have!” He started to pace the small office. “Haven’t I lost enough? I lost it all and for what? The world? Well the world can bloody well sod off.” He stopped in front of the girl, glaring at her, trying to scare her, but she didn’t look scared. She looked amused which angered him more. “And you! What’s with the deaf act? A little amusement for the wanking Powers That Be? Play deaf for the stupid vampire? Let him pour his heart and soul out to the little deaf girl, let him go on and on?” He was so exhausted, angry and confused he didn’t care any longer.

“Yes.” It was all she said but it stopped him in his tracks.

“Yes? What do you mean yes?”

“I mean yes to the part of letting you pour your heart and soul out because you needed to do that. You have held so much grief and pain in for so long that it had to come out William before anything else could come in. And it was easier to tell a deaf girl who you thought couldn’t hear wasn’t it? No questions. No interrupting comments or repercussions. It was easier wasn’t it?”

Defeated, Spike sat back down on the bed. He hung his head down, “Yea it was easier. Been holding some of that in for a while.” He raised his head and looked at her. The light surrounding her glowed softly leaving a soft peaceful radiance around her. “What did you mean by anything else come in?”

Her smile widened, “It’s time for you to live, William. Make room for life.”

“I…I don’t understand. What life? Haven’t you been listening? I don’t have a life. All that I had is gone.”

“Not all. She waits for you.”

“She?”

“Buffy, she’s waiting for you.”

He blinked a few times, confused. “What the hell are you talking about? Buffy’s not waiting for me; she’s with what’s his name, Immortal guy.” A flash of disgust came over his face. “And even if she was and I’m not saying she is, she’s better off with anybody than with me. What can I give her?” He jumped up and started to pace again as he did every time Buffy filled his thoughts. “She sure ‘don’t’ need a vampire in her life. She needs flesh and blood. A soul wasn’t enough; she needs a man with a heart beat to love her!” Angry again he stopped and glared at her.

“That’s what she has.”

Anger was again replaced by confusion. “What are you talking about? I’m not flesh and blood and I don’t have a heart beat!” He gave her a look that said duh!

“Yes you do.”

Spike stared at her, speechless. Was this chick for real? If it wasn’t for the glowy light surrounding her he would have thought she was an escaped mental patient. He ran his hand thru his hair trying to form the words but before he could speak he noticed it. That tiny thump thump of his heart. His eyes widen as he looked down at his chest then up at her. “What…..what is going on?”

“It’s life William. Don’t you remember what’s it’s like?”

He sat on the desk not trusting his legs to support him any longer. He didn’t understand but he did know that what she said was true. His heart was beating and he felt different. With all the emotions and exhaustion he hadn’t noticed it. But when? “When did then happen?”

“When I kissed you.”

“That was sure one hell of a kiss, pet.” In spite of the uncertainties he knew what she said was true and if that part was true then…. “And Buffy? Is that part true? Is she waiting for me?”

She slipped off the bed to stand in front of him. She took her hands placing one on each side of his thin face. With joy in her voice she answered him, “Yes William, she’s waiting for you.”

She barely had a chance to gasp when he grabbed her around the waist and twirled her around. Laughing she said, “I thought it would take more time than this to convince you.”

He sat her down on the floor and placed a quick kiss on her lips, surprising her. “Enough times wasted. I’ve seen a lot of things in the last couple hundred years and going on how I feel right now….nothing surprises me.”

He turned to leave then stopped, his grin replaced with a thin sad line, “And the others? Their sacrifice? What about that?”

“Each one has been rewarded in their own way.”

“How’s that?”

“Let’s just say that you find the one you are meant to be with.”

“Angel’s not with Buffy too is he?” trying to keep the fear and uncertainty out of his voice.

Her heart couldn’t help but go out to him, so strong but so vulnerable at the same time. “No William, he’s with Cordy, the one he’s meant to be with. You were meant for Buffy all along; the timing had to be right for you too. Both of you have come a long journey but the rest of your journey is waiting for you.” She stepped closer and placed a soft kiss on his lips, “Go to her…..and live.” With her last word she disappeared leaving him alone in the dim office.

He took a minute to look around then turned toward the empty warehouse. The first light of day was starting to stream thru the upper windows. Bracing himself, he puckered his lips in defiance and bravado then stepped into the ray of light and into his future.

The End

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