Buffy walked into the kitchen and smiled when she saw Spike sitting at the island reading the paper. Her smile got even bigger when her eyes drifted to the plate of waffles resting on the counter.

“Oh you made waffles.”

Spike didn’t look up he just nodded as Buffy walked over to him and kissed the top of his head. She grabbed a plate, and a waffle and sat down next to Spike. She picked up the bottle of syrup and began drizzling it over the waffle.

“You’re quiet this morning,” she commented as she drowned her waffle in syrup. Spike grunted and Buffy raised her eyebrows. “Someone’s being a big grump this morning,” she joked nudging his knee with hers. When he didn’t respond her brow furrowed in concern. “Spike what’s wrong?”

Spike finally looked up and gave her a little smile. “Nothing,” he assured her.

Buffy gave him a quizzical look not believing him. It wasn’t like him to be quiet and pensive and it definitely wasn’t like to him to ignore her especially when she was wearing a short skirt.

“Are you mad at me?” Buffy asked worriedly.

Spike’s head shot up. “What? No. Of course not.”

Buffy rested her hand on his knee. “We’re okay then?”

“Yeah,” he answered with a little smile before looking down at his paper again.

Buffy huffed a little at the lack of attention he was paying her. She reached over and grabbed the paper from out in front of him.

Spike sighed. “Give it back,” he ordered calmly.

“Nah uh. Not till you tell me what’s wrong?” Buffy demanded as she held the paper behind her back.

Spike reached for the paper, but Buffy stood up and moved out of his reach. “Come on now. Nothing’s wrong. I just want to finish reading the paper.”

Buffy glanced down at the paper noting that it was opened to the gardening section. “Planning on taking up gardening?” she asked sarcastically.

“Huh?” Buffy held up the paper showing him the section he had been reading. “Well…you know…um…I was just,” Spike stammered before stopping and snapping , “oh bloody hell so I wasn’t reading the damn paper. What of it?”

Buffy cringed from his harsh tone. They fought all the time, but there was something different in the tone of his voice that told her this wasn’t the playful bickering they usually engaged in. Buffy tossed the paper onto the counter near Spike and turned on her heel to leave. Spike groaned before standing up and catching her near the door.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured into her hair.

“I didn’t mean to push,” Buffy said quietly as Spike’s hands wrapped around her waist.

“You weren’t pushing.”

Buffy didn’t say anything as she waited for Spike to explain himself. He had been living with her for 2 months now and everything had pretty much been roses and kittens. They fought like crazy, but not really fighting, because even when they were calling each other names and throwing knickknacks at each other they knew it was just foreplay. This wasn’t one of those cases. There was no yelling, throwing, name-calling, punching, fury, agitation, or lust. There was something unsettling about it.

“Can’t I just have a bad morning?” Spike asked.

Buffy shrugged. “I guess.”

She stepped out of his embrace and walked back into the kitchen slumping back into her chair. She picked up her fork and idly stabbed at her waffle a permanent frown on her face. Spike sighed heavily before walking over to sit next her.

“You know I’m not sure if you are the saddest little kitten in the world, or just a master manipulator.” Buffy looked up to him with tears brimming at the corner of her eyes, and her lower lip trembling. “Just as I suspected…manipulator.”

Buffy tried not to laugh but it didn’t work and a giggle escaped her lips. Spike smiled back at her. “That’s my slayer.”

Spike leaned over and gave her a quick kiss.

“You’re not off the hook you know,” Buffy said seriously.

Spike pouted. “I’m not?”

“No you’re not. You can’t cute your way out of this.”

“You think I’m cute?” Spike asked trying to change the subject.

“Yes, adorable even, but you’re so not off the hook.”

“Okay.” Spike turned serious and took Buffy’s hands in his. “This morning I woke up, and came down here and started making waffles.” Buffy nodded encouraging him to continue. “And it just struck me how…” he paused and his face curled up into a disgusted snarl. “domesticated I’ve become. I killed two slayers, and now I’m making the third waffles.”

“I like waffles,” Buffy interjected.

“I know you like waffles, and I know you like to wear fuzzy pink slippers, and watch Sesame Street…”

“That’s a good show,” Buffy argued but Spike was on a roll.

“And that you use a baby blue toothbrush, and you like to sleep with your socks on, and you snore,” he added pointedly before continuing, “and that you like to wear my shirts after you shower, and that every night you wake up and check on Dawn, and that you hate doing the laundry…”

“Everyone hates doing the laundry,” Buffy argued not sure what he was getting at.

“That’s not the point,” Spike argued.

“What is the point Spike?”

“The point is that you hate doing laundry so much you bribe Dawn with extending her curfew to get her to do it.”

“Okay so maybe that’s wrong. I didn’t think it was that bad though.”

Spike was growing frustrated and ground his teeth together. “That’s not the point either.”

“Are we ever getting to this point?” Buffy asked losing patience.

“The bloody point is I know all this stuff to begin with,” Spike blew up. “Here I am William the Bloody knowing the slayer likes to dunk her oreos in apple juice.”

“Oh,” Buffy said quietly finally getting where this was going, or where it already was. She was just slow catching up, but she was there now. She untangled her hands from his, and looked down. “So um…what you’re saying is,” Buffy looked up again, “that you’re not happy….with me”

“No,” Spike exclaimed. He reached his hand out and caressed the side of her face playing with strands of her hair.

“Then what?” Buffy asked.

“I just…I miss it sometimes.”

“The killing?” Buffy barely whispered.

“Yeah,” Buffy pulled away from him. “No I don’t mean the killing.”

“But that’s what you said,” Buffy argued as she stood up and walked backwards away from him.

“I just mean I miss the action. The fighting and the fun.”

“Okay I’m not enough,” Buffy acknowledged quietly her world seeming to crumble around her.

“No,” Spike took a cautious step towards her, but she backed away two steps. “You’re enough Buffy. You’re everything…”

“But…I feel a but coming on.”

“Come on love, could you give it up? Could you give up the slaying, and fighting?”

“No. Sacred duty remember?” she answered getting angry that he was trying to turn the conversation around to her.

“Besides that. If you were giving the choice to be the slayer or not, could you give it up?”

Buffy flashed back to a time when she was helpless, and how much she hated it. She thought back to the times when she went on the hunt searching for a fight….needing a fight. She remembered all her fights with Riley over him feeling inadequate with her because of her powers and how that made her feel like a freak.

Buffy took a step towards Spike, and then another. Seeing her move forward propelled Spike to do the same so they were standing a few feet apart.

“No, I couldn’t.” She took a deep breath. “I’m nothing without my powers.”

“Well let’s not be overdramatic.” When Buffy looked up to glare at him, Spike quickly changed his tone. “I’d still love you Buffy.” Buffy looked up surprised. Spike took a deep unneeded breath. “But would you still love me?”

“If I wasn’t the slayer?” she asked.

“No if I was…” he stopped and finished sarcastically, “a real vampire again.”

His question took her off guard. A shiver went up her spine as she tried to find the words to ask what she had to ask. She unconsciously took a few steps backwards.

“The chip,” she stammered. “The chip is it…” she paused. “gone?”

“Would it change anything?” Spike demanded not actually answering her question.

Buffy felt like she was spinning. The room seemed to close in on her, and she felt like she was choking. This couldn’t be happening. Not now. Not when everything was so good, and perfect, and right. She couldn’t kill him. She needed him more then she needed to breathe.

“Would it?” he repeated.

Buffy looked up at the man…wait vampire standing in front of her. After much ridicule, begging, and compromise, Buffy had finally convinced Spike to expand his wardrobe. He was standing in the kitchen wearing a pair of charcoal gray trousers, and a loose black sweater. It was her favorite sweater. She had put it on last night after she had gotten out of the shower. He must have picked it up off the floor on his way downstairs from where it had inevitably been thrown the night before.

It amazed her how he never hid his emotions. Everything he was feeling was evident on his face, and he never tried to mask it around her. He may lie with his words, but his eyes never could lie to her. She saw the sadness in them…the disappointment that she would ever doubt him. She saw the pain and the confusion, and the pleading. His eyes were begging her to not only answer him, but to believe him. Believe that it wouldn’t matter because they loved each other.

She wanted to so badly, and in her heart she did believe him fully and completely, but her head. Her head told her a not chipped Spike was a ticking bomb. She couldn’t do that again. She couldn’t relive Angel. Everything with Spike was so different. The only thing similar was the vampire thing, but now she feared how it would all end would be the same too.

“I’m not him,” Spike asserted breaking into her thoughts.

He knew her so well. He knew what she had been thinking. It was so annoying, and at the same time so comforting and safe. And Spike was right. He wasn’t Angel. So the only question was was Spike worth risking everything for. Buffy looked up at him, and took a deep breath.

“Yes it would change things,” she said her voice strangely even and calm. Spike closed his eyes and balled his fists at her words as both anger and pain overcame him. Buffy slowly walked over to him, and touched his cheek gently causing Spike’s eyes to fly open. “But it wouldn’t change that I love you.”

“What would it change?” Spike asked needing to know.

Buffy smiled. “Well we could spar. That would be fun.”

A huge grin broke out on Spike’s face at her words. “Yeah we could.” Spike’s eyes raked over her body. “I’d love to take you on.”

Buffy felt the familiar tingle build up in her body at his words. “Maybe tonight,” she breathed as excitement built inside of her at the idea. She missed fighting with him that way. It was probably sick and dysfunctional but she wanted to beat him up, and get as good as she gave.

“Just one question love.”

Spike sat down, and looked up at her.

“What’s that?” Buffy asked nervously.

Spike pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Without the chip…you trust me?” he asked uncertainty tinting his words.

Buffy turned her head, and took his face in her hands. “Yes I trust you.”

Buffy leaned forward and brushed her lips gently against his. Spike pulled her body closer to his as he deepened the kiss. Buffy finally pulled away and rested her forehead against his trying to catch her breath.

“That was our first real fight,” she noted.

“Yeah…how’d we do?” Spike asked.

“I liked the making up part,” she answered kissing him quickly. “I wish we had time to really make up.”

“Call in sick,” Spike urged her, as her implication was not lost on him.

“Can’t. Someone has to keep this little family housed and fed.”

“You know I could help out,” Spike offered.

“And I’ve told you I’m not supporting my baby sister on your criminal profits.”

“Well don’t say I never offered.”

“I won’t.”

Buffy groaned when she caught the time on the microwave clock. She climbed off his lap.

“Duty calls.”

“Well if you have to go…”

“I do,” Buffy reluctantly admitted. She started walking out the door but stopped suddenly. “Spike?”

“Hmmm”

Buffy turned around and faced him. She had to know. “How long?”

“How long what, pet?”

“How long has it been out?”

“The chip?” he asked playing dumb.

“Yes the chip you idiot.” Spike ducked his head down. “I won’t be mad,” she assured him.

Looking up again he asked, “You promise?” Buffy nodded and waited for him to drop the bomb. “It’s not out.”

Buffy’s eyes widened, her mouth fell open, and she started stammering, “Wait…what?”

“Still got the tiny bugger in my noggin,” he admitted with a guilty smile.

“Wait…you’re still chipped?” Spike nodded. “So you can’t hit people still?” Spike nodded again. “So we just had this fight for nothing?” Buffy screamed.

“Not for nothing,” Spike tried to argue, but Buffy wasn’t having it.

“I can not believe you. Here I am all worried and freaking out and feeling as horrible as I think I could ever feel and it was all a lie?”

“You jumped to conclusions,” Spike argued defensively and instantly knew defensive was not good. He should be groveling, but it was too late.

Buffy’s fist connected with his face and sent him tumbling out of his chair onto the floor. Buffy descended onto him, hiking up her short skirt so she could straddle him at the waist.

“You didn’t correct me.”

“I had to know Buffy,” he pleaded.

“Know what?”

“If you’d still love me. If this was all for something.”

“Of course it’s for something. How could you think it wasn’t?” she asked near tears.

Spike lifted his hands to rest on her waist. “Buffy I love you.” Buffy’s response was to roll her eyes. Spike gripped her hips tighter. “Buffy listen to me. I love you, and I know you love me.”

“Do you?” she asked.

“Yes I do, but I was scared.”

“Scared of what Spike?”

“Scared that a part of you still saw a part of me as unlovable, and as much as who I am now is…well who I am…the demon is always a part of me. It is part of who I am.”

“I know,” Buffy whispered.

“Do you?”

“Yes I do. You told me once I was a creature of the darkness…like you.”

“Well not exactly like me,” Spike argued.

Buffy rolled her eyes and shifted her weight on Spikes torso causing him to groan. She leaned over his body her hair dangling down and tickling his cheeks.

“You told me to try on your world and see how good it feels.”

“You remember that?” he asked surprised.

“Of course…you were the one who was drunk out of his mind that night not me.” Spike snorted at her revisionist history of that night. “I like your world,” she whispered. Spike stared at her as she hovered over him. “It feels good.”

Buffy leaned all the way over grinding her hips down on his as she kissed him. Spike lifted his arm and grabbed onto her hair a bit roughly as they made out on the kitchen floor.

“Ewww…I thought we talked about the straddling and how I so don’t need to see it,” Dawn interrupted walking into the kitchen dressed for school. “Oh waffles yum,” Dawn added walking over to the counter basically ignoring Spike and Buffy.

Buffy quickly pulled away from Spike clumsily trying to extract herself from his body. “Morning Dawnie,” Buffy called out cheerily trying to straighten out her clothing all the while her face turning a deep shade of red. Spike followed her to her feet turning his back to readjust himself. “I have to get going. Dawn you need a ride to school?”

“That’s okay. Jake is driving me,” Dawn answered as she wrinkled her nose at Buffy’s now soggy waffle.

“Jake? Who’s Jake?” Buffy asked confused.

“A friend from school,” Dawn answered like it was the stupidest question ever.

“A friend? How come I’ve never met him or even heard you mention him?” Buffy demanded going into overprotective mode.

“Maybe because you’re always too busy with the straddling,” Dawn answered pointedly.

Buffy’s cheeks turned bright red again at Dawn’s words, and she started to stammer until she heard Spike’s choked laughter. She whirled around to face him.

“What are you laughing at?”

“Nothing,” he quickly answered trying to suppress his laughter but it didn’t work and Dawn joined him giggling incessantly.

“Oh this is so not funny you two.”

“Yes it is,” Dawn choked out.

“I have to agree with Niblet here,” Spike laughed.

“You always agree with her,” Buffy accused him.

“I do not,” Spike shot back defensively.

“Do too.”

“He so doesn’t,” Dawn butted in. “Anyways what does it matter? You get the straddling.”

Buffy whipped around to face Dawn. “Would you stop using that word?”

“What straddling?” Dawn asked innocently.

“Yes…it’s…” Buffy stopped and Dawn looked at her with raised eyebrows. “You don’t know anything about straddling.”

A horn honked outside and Dawn grabbed her backpack off the floor. “That’s Jake. See ya.”

“Wait a minute. I wasn’t done,” Buffy called after her. Dawn stopped and looked at Buffy waiting. “No straddling.”

Dawn rolled her eyes. “Fine I’ll leave the straddling to you and Spike. Just stop straddling on the kitchen floor. I so do not want to see that. It’s like a constant porno film here.”

“What do you know about pornos?” Buffy demanded as the horn honked again.

Dawn looked to the front door. “Nothing. Bye Spike. Bye Buffy,” She called out as she ran out the front door.

Buffy watched as the front door closed behind her sister, and she sighed. Spike came up behind her, and wrapped his arms around her. Buffy leaned into his embrace and sighed again.

“I really like your world. It’s so much more fun then this one.”

Spike chuckled behind her and kissed the top of her head. Buffy just closed her eyes and let her self enjoy a few seconds in his arms before detangling herself.

“And the fun just keeps on going,” she moaned as she grabbed her purse.

“Have a good day sweetheart,” Spike called out to her.

“You too honey.” Buffy placed a quick kiss on his lips before walking to the front door and opening it. “Oh and why don’t you do the laundry today.”

“Oh what now I’m Mr. Mom?” Spike whined.

“Well look at it this way, if I don’t have to do the laundry when I get home I’ll have more time for other things,” she said pointedly looking down at the still present bulge in his pants.

“Right then. I’ll get right on that.”

Buffy smiled and walked out the door slamming it closed behind her. She bounced down the steps towards her car whistling to herself. Life wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t too bad at all.

The End