Spike stood in the middle of Main Street leaning up against a tree smoking his cigarette. Buffy couldn’t help but smile as she strolled up over to him wrapping her arms around his warm body. She still hasn’t gotten used to feeling him warm against her, or seeing him in the sun like this. Like he was just “normal.” He took her cheek in his hand and pulled her face to his in a gentle kiss. Their tongues massaged each other’s and Buffy pulled on his coat trying to get closer into the kiss, moaning into his mouth. He broke from her lips and she ran kisses down his neck feeling his pulse beneath her lips.

“It won’t last forever.” She heard him say.

What won’t last forever?” Buffy asked as she licked on the sensitive skin just under his ear.

He grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest. The steady rise and fall of his chest as his heart thundered beneath fluttered through Buffy’s hand and up her body. A shy smile grazed over her features at the feel of it all and she moved over his lips gently kissing his bottom lip as she moved to the other side of his neck. He pushed firmly on her hand on his chest as he felt her lips tickle his neck up to his other ear again.

“This won’t last forever.” He said firmly holding her hand on his chest. “It won’t always beat.”

Buffy opened her eyes and saw brown where there should have been blonde. Her hand stopped moving in unison with his chest, and the heartbeat stopped pounding. She froze realizing his arm was no longer wrapped around her waist, and the grip of his hand clenched to hers was tighter, practically hurting her. She tried to step back but he yanked her to him, and her eyes met dark piercing brown ones.

“It didn’t with me.” Angel snarled as he ripped her body close to his crushing her small form to him. “I gave it all back to be a monster again, remember?”

Buffy tried to break free from his hold on her, but was too weak to push him off of her. She shook her head, shaking in fear as his face went from the angelic look of a man to the monster that lied behind the mask and his fangs plunged down into her neck. Her eyes squeezed shut and the piercing pain at her neck went away, her hand was free, and she could no longer feel him holding her. She hesitantly opened her eyes afraid he would still be there in front of her. She was no longer in Sunnydale she guessed. Everything was open around her; miles of sand were at her feet, behind and before her. There was no ocean, just vacant earth surrounding her. A small hill stood before her with glowing red tinge lighting behind it. She made her way over to the hill turning around the corner seeing a tall woman standing in a black dress. Her hair was short and brown, the dress coming down to her bare feet, with a slit riding back up to her hip. Buffy prepared herself to fight if needing to as she moved around the woman to see who she was.

“Don’t you know he did it for you? They all do it for you.” Cordelia said.

“Did what I don’t understand.” Buffy cried. “What did they do for me?”

Cordelia leaned down next to the fire warming her in the radiant heat. She looked up at Buffy tilting her head in confusion as Buffy stared down at her.

“They do everything for you. They give you what you deserve.” Cordelia said.

Cordelia disappeared into the fire right in front of Buffy. She leaned over the flames and try to figure out was happening when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Buffy flung around and saw Willow standing behind. Willow turned away from her and started walking over to the blue ocean. The waves crashed against her ankles as she walked through the small tide coming up the beach.

“Will…”

Willow turned to Buffy when she started to speak bringing her finger up to her own lips. “Shhhh, Buffy not now.” Willow whispered.

Buffy walked behind her following her, hoping sometime soon things would start to make sense to her. Willow stopped abruptly and Buffy slammed into her as she was taken from her thoughts with the sudden stop. Willow turned back to face her friend then pointed out into the middle of the ocean. Huge mountains covered the sides of the shores and gigantic waves crashed into the hard earth. Over the ocean in the stillness of the deep stood Spike and Angel dancing over the water.

“They do.” Willow said turning away from her friend.

Buffy glanced over at Willow and then back over to the ocean, but Spike and Angel were gone. The ocean stood still in blackness out in the middle as the wind started to pick up around the two friends.

“What is going on Willow?” Buffy asked. “I don’t understand.”

“Of course you don’t Buffy. You don’t see what is in front of you.” Willow stated.

Willow vanished and the ocean was gone. Buffy stood in the forest, wryly trees and twisted branches surrounded her, and the green darkness swarmed her being. The forest was vacant of sound nothing to make it seem like she wasn’t alone. She started walking through the forest trying to find somebody, anybody even if she didn’t know them. She just wanted to figure out what was going on. She made her way slowly through the forest pushing away the vines and branches, trying to make her way to wherever she was suppose to go.

“You never see do you Buffy?” A voice crashed from behind her. She turned quickly and saw the tall dark form of Angel walking away from her. She ran to catch him but there were too many things blocking her path. She couldn’t keep up with him; she stopped in frustration at a small clearing. No longer able to see Angel she turned to walk the way she came. Spike stood in front of her in blue jeans a red shirt and sunglasses blocking his gorgeous blue eyes. Buffy lunged into his arms wrapping her tiny arms around his waist pulling him into her grasp. She hid her face in his chest and started to cry, confusion wrapping around her mind.

“You do deserve it, luv.” Spike whispered in her ear.

“Deserve what, Spike?” Buffy asked.

“Do you really think he deserves you?” Xander asked, anger pouring from his words. “After what he did to you, do you think a soul make him deserve you?”

Buffy moved out from his arms and looked at Xander’s face. His anger flashed and marred over his features as he waited for her response. Buffy backed away staring at Xander as he leaned back against a tombstone crossing his arms over his chest staring at Buffy.

“She deserves to be happy.” Anya said as she walked towards them through the cemetery. Buffy turned around sharply and watched as Anya walked up to her and put her arm around Buffy’s shoulders. “They always give her everything but in the end she doesn’t get to enjoy it.”

Xander grabbed Buffy’s arm and pulled her out of Anya’s grasp over to him capturing her in his arms. Buffy tried to break free from his arms but Xander was much stronger then her. Buffy tried to scream to get him to let go but nothing came from her mouth. Her eyes pleaded for Anya to help her but she just stood there watching Xander hold Buffy to him.

“You want this life Slayer?” Harsh words swam over her ears and a rough sharp tongue poked at her neck. Buffy turned to see what Xander was doing, but the face was old and wrinkled. The eyes piercing back at her were sharp yellow, stinging through Buffy’s fear as the Master stared at her. Buffy pushed away from him and the Master just watched as she backed away. No longer in the cemetery but a lonely dark stoned house, full of ancient paintings and marble statues Buffy backed away from the Master carefully, never leaving her eyes from his. Her hand moved up her neck slowly moving towards the old scars at her neck. A cold hand grabbed hers and stopped her before she was able to touch the old wounds.

“I told you they were not worthy.” Dracula slithered. His hand overlapping her own and moving it down her body roaming over her breasts and belly, wrapping around her waist. “I told you, you had no idea what you are.” He lowered his head down to her neck kissing over her pulse and his fangs dug through her flesh. Her blood poured into his mouth, over his cool lips. Buffy leaned back against Dracula’s form, and he held her up catching her weight in his arms. Her eyes shut as the pain ripped through her very being.

“Still want a little monster in your man, Buff?” Riley questioned.

Buffy opened her eyes when she heard Riley’s voice echo through her ears. He stood before her with his arms crossed over his chest. Buffy started to go to him, but shackles held her against a stone wall. The room they were in was empty and cleaner then the last room. It had a fireplace in it, which warmed the air around them, but the chains around her wrist were cold and ancient. She pulled on them trying to break free, to go to Riley. A blonde woman moved behind Riley gliding her hand over his chest. As she moved her lips closer to his neck, her face shifted into a vampire’s mask and her fangs dug into his neck feeding off of him. As she watched a hand that roamed over her back tickling her spine made her shiver. The chains were too strong to get away from whoever was behind her, trying to grab her. The hands moved around her body, the dark hair dipping under her chained arms. Angel stood in front of her blocking her view of Riley and the female vampire at his neck. Angel grabbed her face in his hands and pulled her towards his lips. Lingering at her lips with his own, her body tensed and she pulled harder at the shackles trying to break free.

“It’s different isn’t it, Buffy?” Giles asked.

Buffy opened her eyes and saw Angel staring back at her. He inhaled sharply and roughly let go of her face and backed away walking straight past Giles. Riley and the vampire were gone. The chains that held her to the wall had vanished and Angel disappeared into the stacks in the library that was once in her old high school. Giles sat at the table that always stood in the middle of the library. Buffy slowly moved closer to him wandering what was going on. Looking around the library amazed it was still here.

“Giles, what is going on?” Buffy asked.

“A change.” Giles responded. “Everything is so different isn’t it, Buffy?”

Buffy shrugged. “Everything has been different for a long time, Giles. You know that.” Buffy answered.

“Yes I did, but did you? Do you really see the change? Do you really see him this time?” Giles wandered.

“See who Giles? I don’t understand what is going on.” Buffy shouted.

“Me.” Spike said as he walked through the door of the library. “Do you really see the change in me?”

“Yeah, of course.” Buffy said agitatedly. “You can walk in the sunlight. I see it.”

“That is not who he really is.” Angel said as he stood at the top balcony in front of the stacks. Buffy turned quickly facing him and looked to Giles trying to find out what was going on. Giles stood there in silence staring back at his slayer.

“He’s a monster.” Xander offered as he stepped through Giles’ office door with the face of a vampire.

“He’s a demon.” Anya stated as she walked past Buffy brushing hard up against her staring into her eyes with her ancient demon mask etched on her face. Anya moved over to Xander and he wrapped his arm around her.

“He’s giving you what you deserve.” Cordelia said moving out from behind Angel wrapping her arm in with his.

“A little monster in your man.” Riley offered moving out from behind the cage that once held Oz during the full moons.

“Normal is not your thing.” Willow said as she raised her hand on Buffy’s shoulder. Buffy swung around to see her friend behind her and then spun on her heel to see everybody clouding the library staring at her.

“You don’t even know what you are.” Dracula spoke up from behind her making Buffy’s skin crawl. She wanted to run but was frozen in the middle of all her friends, her enemies. Everybody that has touched her life in one-way or another.

“The funny thing is you don’t want to know, do you.” The Master spoke from behind her.

Buffy spun around seeing everybody staring at her frozen in their spots. Spike still stood by the front doors to the library staring at her with those eyes a look of remorse locked on his features. He reached his hand out to her and she tried to move to him.

“Come with me, pet.” Spike begged reaching out to her.

“He doesn’t deserve you!” Angel shouted. “A soul doesn’t change the monster he is Buffy.” Angel said standing now in front of her. His face morphed into the demon he carried under the surface. “I should know.”

Buffy shut her eyes and dropped to the floor at his feet. Her hands clamped over her ears and she started crying uncontrollably. She rocked on her heels trying to make everybody just go way.

“You’re not real. You’re not real. You’re not real.” Buffy muttered rocking back and forth.

“Buffy!” Dawn shouted holding her sister trying to get her to open her eyes. Finally Dawn was able to break through Buffy’s little mantra of fear to get her to stop rocking and look up at her. Dawn sat with Buffy in the living room wrapping her arms around her and Buffy was curled up in her little sister’s arms with faint tears running down her cheeks.

“Nothing will change the past Buffy, and only you can change the future.” Dawn whispered.

“If he made you happy, sweetie, then don’t make yourself miserable.” Joyce said appearing from the kitchen, walking over to her two daughters on the couch. She wrapped her arms around her two girls and held onto them tightly. “Does he make you happy Buffy?”

“He makes me…..he makes…” Buffy cried.

“What, honey?” Joyce urged.

Spike stood in the middle of the living room watching over the three Summers’ woman. He couldn’t help but smile seeing them all together once more. They all looked up to see him standing there smiling and the light from the sun started moving across the floor of the living room lighting up the carpet moving closer to his feet. The sun moved up his legs and his black jeans began to smoke from the light. The duster that dawned his shoulders and draped over his body began burning as the sun began covering him completely. Buffy tried to get up from the couch and run to him, but Joyce and Dawn held her down on the couch as they all watched as the sun moved rapidly over Spike’s entire body engulfing him in light and flames. Buffy was screaming from the couch as slowly dust fell from where Spike stood, his face the last to burn. His lingering words of “You’re my girl” hanging in the air clouded by the dust. When the dust settled she broke from the arms of her family and ran over to the pile on the floor wanting to touch what was left of him.

“Why?” Buffy cried.

“You needed to see, sweetie.” Joyce said sadly.

Buffy’s alarm clock was ringing through her ears. She rolled over on her back and tried slapping at what was making the awful noise. After turning off the offending noise she stretched and rubbed at her eyes. She looked up at the ceiling of her room and stared for a moment before shaking her head trying to rid herself of the images left there by her dream.

“What was that all about?” Buffy asked herself as she rolled out of her bed.

She pulled out an outfit from her closest and made her way to the bathroom to get ready for the day. Her and Dawn were going to spend some time together and sometime they were suppose to meet with Anya and Willow for a girls day out. After getting dressed she made her way downstairs and into the kitchen to make some breakfast for the two girls before they left. She sat at the kitchen table waiting for her sister to come down the stairs. Images of her dream that night haunted her memories, every ones words echoing across her mind. She had no clue what any of it meant, and it was really beginning to annoy her. She had to sometime find out where Spike was and figure out what was happening.

Dawn and Buffy went out together for early shopping and then met Willow and Anya at the Magic Box for some lunch. At lunch, conversation ran a little short and most of the time it was nothing but careful steps of conversation pieces. Willow had told the gang she was going to try to move out of her parents house in a little bit, needing to get away. Buffy had offered her to come back to the Summers’ residence but it was too hard for Willow to do right now so she respectfully declined. Everything else seemed to be small talk amongst the four friends, which gave Buffy time to get lost occasionally on her own thoughts of Spike. Afterwards Anya had to get back to the store, Willow wanted to go home, and Dawn and Buffy thought it would be a good idea to just rent a movie tonight, and then maybe try to workout a little. Walking from the video store Dawn couldn’t contain her wonder any longer.

“You have been thinking about him all day?” Dawn smiled.

“Who?” Buffy defended.

“I know you were thinking about Spike, Buffy.” Dawn said. “It is so obvious.”

“How is it so obvious?” Buffy mocked. “Even though I wasn’t thinking of him.”

“Well I could say it was obvious when every time a guy with blonde hair walked by you would perk up out of your chair, or the fact that you weren’t listening to anything anybody was saying. But I would have to say the best one was when you started out one of your sentences with ‘Spike, I’ and then clammed up to continue on with some lame cover up.” Dawn laughed.

“I….I did not.” Buffy blushed.

“Yes, you did.” Dawn said. “It is so obvious all the time. Why don’t you just go see him?”

“I…I don’t know where he is.” Buffy stammered. “And anyways, I…I shouldn’t go see him.”

“Why?” Dawn asked confused.

“Because he is a vampire…”

“With a soul, that walks in the daylight.” Dawn interrupted.

“And I am the Slayer.” Buffy continued. “We shouldn’t be….I mean I shouldn’t be seeing him. I should be with a normal guy.”

“Normal is not your thing.” Dawn offered.

Buffy looked at Dawn in shock, those words were in her dream. A different person said them, but it was those same words. Buffy stopped and grabbed Dawns shoulder turning her around to face her.

“Why do you say that?” Buffy demanded.

“Hello. You are the chosen one. The slayer that fights vampires, blah, blah, blah, has a sister that was once a big ball of greenness, a best friend who was the most powerful witch in all the world, another who was this close to marrying a 1000 year old demon vengeance demon, who now is a demon again.” Dawn put her finger and thumb as close together as possible without touching to emphasize how close the wedding really was. “An ex-boyfriend that went psycho monster killer on all your friends, then you sent him to Hell which he came from only to leave you again. Another ex-boyfriend that was in a military demon catcher group that left you because he felt you were a little too close to the ‘dark side.’ Another vampire in love with you, killing a God, and did I mention yet the fact that you were risen from the dead.”

“Thanks for the recap.” Buffy huffed.

“Face it Buffy. Normal just is not your not thing. And you need to see it.” Dawn said and then pulled from her grasp to walk home leaving Buffy where she stood.

The night went by pretty fast, and after Dawn and her little talk in the middle of the street not much was said between the two of them all night. They trained for a little bit after the movie and went on patrol both killing a couple vamps in two of local cemeteries. Mainly it was a slow night and now Buffy sat on the edge of her bed restless, unable to sleep. She had been stirring for about two hours with no luck. Went and took a hot shower trying to calm down a little, and even went through all of her little notes Spike has been leaving for her through out the last few months. It had been three weeks since that day in the park. She knew though he has been around from the little notes and flowers left here and there around her house.

Buffy went to her closet and pulled out some cream color sweats and a matching sweatshirt with a hood. She made her way down the stairs stuffing some stakes expertly hidden in her clothes and grabbing one crossbow to carry with her. She needed to go out and kill something a little more, and she needed to find Spike. The first cemetery she walked through was relatively empty, only one fresh grave and after waiting for what felt like an eternity, Buffy chalked up that this dead person died of natural causes, not un-natural Sunnydale causes. In a dark alley she ran into two slimy demons trying to mug a couple that just left a bar and was walking home because they were obviously too drunk to drive. Buffy shot her crossbow at the one demons holding the couple and he dropped to the ground instantly letting the drunken couple stagger away quickly leaving Buffy and one slimy green demon alone with her. After a couple swift blows to the face, and nicely planted kicks to the demon’s body Buffy slipped her one single blade from her long sleeve and slit the demons neck as he kneeled on his knees.

Feeling a little better and exhilarated from the small battle Buffy quickened her pace through the rest of the cemeteries. Her last one she always walked through was the one with her mother and Tara in it. It sort of became a tradition for Buffy now to say goodnight to them before heading home. She only did this part when she patrolled on her own, mainly because she always stopped and talked to them both, wanting a private conversation with them. Sometimes she noticed that Willow has obviously been by to see Tara, but she never approached Will about it, just smiled contently at the thought of it all. Tonight though somebody beat her to conversation with the two people she loved, and apparently he wasn’t done yet.

Buffy snuck up as close as she could to her mother’s grave, hiding behind trees, trying to be careful not to be noticed by the vampire that lay over the grave. She focused on trying to hear what he was saying.

“I know I don’t deserve your daughter, but I personally don’t believe anybody deserves her. Not Peaches, not Captain Cardboard, nobody really, but I do love her.” Spike spoke out loud. “I know I shouldn’t love her, and I have tried so hard not to, but she’s inside me now. She’s been inside me even when I tried to kill her.” Spike laughed.

“Sorry.” He said as he played with the grass with his still pale hand. “Everything just got so painful and so good all at the same time. No excuses for me, for what I have done. I own up to everything I have done or said to her, and there is no way I can take any of it back. I am different though. Still no reason for her to love me, I know you’re saying up there, but it is a bigger reason for me to love her.” Spike shook his head at the thought of everything that was going through his mind and what all he was saying. He sat up a little and fixed the fresh bouquets he brought for her. “If she really saw me when she looked at me and told me to leave, I would.” Spike said as he stood up.

Buffy watched as he walked over to Tara’s grave with a small bouquet of fresh flowers. Kneeling down to pick up the dead bouquet and replacing it with the fresh one he leaned his hand out and moved his fingers over the engraved words that were on the tombstone. She heard his voice but couldn’t make out what he said to her. Buffy stood still behind the big tree and watched as he walked out of the cemetery. She followed behind him carefully trying to figure out where he had been staying since he got back and left his old crypt.

Spike stopped suddenly outside of a small nice house. It was on the other side of Sunnydale pretty secluded from the city, not too many neighbors around crowding him. He stood unmoving in front of the house turning his head slightly from side to side. Buffy realizing he could feel her presence moved from out behind the fence she was hiding behind and started walking up to his back.

“You should be more careful Spike.” Buffy grinned. “You never know who is behind you carrying a knife.”

“Is that what you are carrying luv?” Spike asked still facing the other way.

“I could be.” Buffy smiled.

“Have we resorted to following, Slayer?” Spike asked coyly.

“I…I wasn’t…I wasn’t following.” Buffy stuttered.

“You just happen to be lurking behind me all the way to my home?” Spike wandered.

“I wasn’t lurking.” Buffy demanded. “I was walking. How did you put it? It’s a whole different vibe.”

Spike smiled and turned around to face her finally. He took a couple steps closer to her and then stopped before reaching her. He thought for a moment that it was time for her to come him if she really wanted him. After everything he couldn’t go to her any longer. His two steps forward ended up being three slight steps backwards, trying to be un-noticeable in his movements. Buffy frowned when she saw him back away and stepped forward just slightly coming into the light a little more.

“You go see them often don’t you?” Buffy asked.

“Who?” Spike questioned.

“Tara and my mom.” Buffy said. “I know you do because I always see the flowers you leave.”

“I go sometimes.” Spike admitted. “I liked both of them.”

“Do you talk to them every time you go see them?” Buffy asked.

“I talk when I have something on my mind.” Spike said.

Buffy walked forward and placed her small hand on his chest watching as it rose and fell with the rhythm of his breathing. When he didn’t need to breathe he sometimes would out of habit, so that was nearly amazing to her as the beating that still came from his chest.

“You must have a lot on your mind now.” Buffy whispered.

Spike inhaled deeply, smelling her scent and letting it overwhelm all of his senses. She still amazed him, still made his knees weak, and now he had to remember to breathe when she was around him, and his heart beating faster when she touched him.

“I feel your heart beating.” Buffy smiled leaning her forehead on his chest. “It is so fast.”

Spike watched as Buffy buried her face into his chest, her head moving slightly with his breathing. She moved her hand around to his back and her other hand wrapped around him holding him to her. Spike closed his eyes and moved his arms around her small form.

“I don’t want you to leave, ever.” Buffy cried into his chest. “I deserve to be happy, and more times then not, you do make me happy, and that’s what I see in you.”

“Buffy, I don’t…”

Buffy moved in and interrupted whatever it was Spike was going to say by capturing his lips with hers. She didn’t want to hear anymore ‘sorrys’ or what she deserved. She just wanted to feel again. It was true what she said at the wedding. It did hurt to see him with some other girl. In the bathroom when she admitted she has feelings for him, that was true too. When she found out he was gone, and the lost feeling that consumed her soul was just as true a feeling as standing here in the street in his arms tasting him once again.

She tangled her tongue with his, massaging his mouth. It still fascinated her that his lips were warm, and his body radiated heat instead of the dead cold he used to. It was more fascinating that she knew behind this sculpted face of a human, with a beating heart and a soul, laid a monster just under the surface. As their kiss became more passionate one of her hands moved up to his hair wrapping her fingers within his small blonde curls on the top of his head. Spike pulled on her shoulders trying to get her closer to his body. He pulled away from her and trickled his lips down to her neck kissing at her delicate skin.

“I want you, Spike.” Buffy moaned.

Spike moved away from her and took her hand in his and walked up the small stone pathway to the front door of the house. Stopping at the door Spike dug his hand into his pocket pulling out a key and unlocking the door. He walked in and Buffy stood at the entrance looking into the house. Spike threw his keys down on a nearby table and turned to look at Buffy at the door.

“Aren’t you coming in, luv?” Spike asked.

“I was waiting for you to invite me.” Buffy said.

“You are always invited, Buffy.” Spike smiled.

He reached out his hand and she placed her small one in his as she walked through the front door. He brought her small hand up to his lips and gently kissed the top of her soft skin. Intertwining his fingers with hers he guided her to a magnificent room. Actually it looked exactly like the room that was in the basement of his crypt before it was blown up. Candles everywhere, a poster bed sitting in the middle of it draped with white satin sheets. The walls and the fireplace were about the only difference. You could just tell it was still Spike’s home.

Spike walked her over to the bed and sat her on the edge leaning down and kissing her neck gently listening to her subtle moan escape her lips. He moved away from her and pulled off his shirt up and over his head. The marble white of his body still took Buffy’s breath away. He was so amazing to look at she thought to herself. Spike stared down at her face and smiled as his fingers danced over the button of his pants, slowly dropping the zipper down and pulling down his pants. A small smile grazed over Buffy’s face as she noticed he still didn’t wear any underwear. This was definitely the same old Spike.

He stood naked in front of her for a moment letting her take in his body before he bent over and unzipped the sweater. He opened up her shirt seeing the white lace bra that lightly covered her breasts. He pulled one arm out of her shirt then the other moving it away from her and dropping it to the floor beside his clothes. He helped her lean back on the bed and she scooted to the middle as he crawled up her body stopping at her hips grabbing the edges tugging down her legs. She raised her hips slowly and he leaned down and kissed her rising hips as her flesh became bare of her clothes. Gently down her thighs with the warm soft fabric and her knees bent slightly to make it down her calves. His lips caressed her knees and she purred at his soft touch on her flesh. Her clothing moved over her feet and down off her body.

Spike looked up her body dressed in only her white lace bra as he threw her clothes to the floor. Grabbing her foot he kissed the soft skin around her ankles caressing her foot and legs with his hands. Buffy’s head rolled back on the soft bed as his lips danced up her leg, kissing her inner thigh before spreading her legs. He moved between her open legs and up her body stopping for a moment to kiss on the lace covered pert nipples of her breast. Unclamping the bra and sliding it down her shoulders as she raised her chest for it pass down her arms he sucked in her nipple nibbling on the soft flesh. He moved slightly between her body teasing her sex with his own relishing in the noises that came from her. He leaned down and kissed her waiting for her to invite him into her once again.

Buffy slowly opened her mouth and let him in pouring her passion and want for him. Her legs wrapped around Spike’s waist and moved him closer to her, dying for him to be inside her once again. He found her center and entered her slowly as he ravaged her mouth with his tongue. She moaned into his mouth as he entered her, and Spike had to pull from her lips to breathe. Being inside of her was overwhelming to him, like it was their first time. He moved out of her slowly, both whimpering at the loss of connection, his movements were slow and tender. He sheathed himself back in her warmth and stopped to look at her face, watching in amazement as it contorted in pleasure he was giving her. He moved like that until her walls began fluttering around him and he knew she was close. He moved his head down to her breast and began teasing and sucking on her nipple as his hand moved down between them and he caressed and rubbed on her sensitive nubbin sending her over the edge in waves of ecstasy. He didn’t stop his movements, but muffled her cries of pleasure with a needy kiss. He moved faster into her and his finger tweaked on her clit even harder as he sent her over the edge one more time before spilling his seed into her with his own orgasm. Buffy’s walls fluttered and her legs shook around his waist squeezing him as her second orgasm swam over her body and he filled her with his seed. She caught his groans in her mouth as they kissed until he moved from her lips and buried his head into her shoulder. His own body shook over top of hers and she wrapped her arms around him and lightly grazed them up and down his back. His hips still moved slowly into her body as she milked his seed from him, and she caught a small cry come from him and she started to kiss his neck. Both of their bodies began to calm and he lay on top of her as she held him close to her. He still was inside her as he lay there with muffled tears falling into her shoulder, and soft murmurs and warm kisses came from Buffy, reassuring him.

When Spike stopped crying he rolled over on his back next to Buffy and pulled her into his arms. He leaned over wiping his eyes and grabbed the blanket covering them both up so they could sleep. Buffy curled up into a small ball next to Spike as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder cradling her. He kissed the top of hair and smiled as he held onto her a little tighter. He noticed out the window it started to rain.

“You have my duster.” Spike said.

“Yes I do.” Buffy smiled.

“Are you going to give it back?” Spike asked.

Buffy just smiled to herself and rolled over on her side curling up to Spike, and he moved behind her so he could hold her as they slept. His tall long form fit perfectly behind her as her smaller form cradled in his arms. She drifted off to sleep in his arms without ever answering his question. This time her sleep was not interrupted with weird dreams that needed to be figured out.

Spike woke up in the morning and the sun shined through his window as the new day broke into his room. He inhaled deeply still able to smell Buffy and rolled over on his side to hold her again. She was gone, and only a single daisy and a note lay on the pillow she used through the night. He leaned up on his elbow and smiled a little as he picked up the flower and took in the scent of it mixed in with the lingering smell of his Buffy. He unfolded the note and couldn’t help but smile bigger understanding both references the note held in its words.

~Fin~

Celtic

Pg-13 ending*******

Buffy walked up to her front door unsure of what to say when she opened it to her expectant sister she knew was just on the other side. Buffy stood on the top step of her porch and looked at the base of her door. They always seemed to be there when she was thinking about him, and of course she would be thinking about him now. Just a moment ago he kissed her with a whisper and a goodbye. She walked up slowly to the door kneeling down to lift the single daisy and note from its place. Somehow every new daisy smelled different. A small portion of him lingered on the tiny flower, and each scent was different than the time before. The paper he used for the note always held a small portion of his scent. Closing her eyes and taking in the scent that lingered from his gifts she imagined him standing before her just as he was a moment ago. His lips tantalizing lightly over her warm flesh, his hands holding her to him, and his breathless words caressing over ear. The door opened in front of her and she was pulled back to reality.

Buffy looked up and saw Dawn looking down at her concerned that her sister was on her knees. She seemed to be at the door for hours before Dawn finally went to see what was going on. Dawn knelt down grabbing her sisters hand in hers hoping she wouldn’t have to ask, and finally Buffy would just say what she was feeling. Like always it came to no surprise to Dawn that Buffy just sat in front of her staring at her holding back on her tears that were trying to force their way out.

“What happened?” Dawn asked.

Buffy looked up into her sister’s eyes and her tears finally broke free and ran down her cheeks. Dawn grabbed Buffy’s arms and lifted her to her feet. Dawn walked Buffy into the house closing the door behind them and taking her into the living room. Dawn sat her on the couch and took a seat next to her keeping her hands in her trying to comfort her sister. Dawn pulled the note out of Buffy’s grasp trying to rip the paper as she pulled it from Buffy’s tight grip. She opened the small envelope with one hand and read what was written on the paper to herself.

“Buffy, please tell me what happened?” Dawn begged. “Did he not show? Did you guys fight?”

“No…no…none of that.” Buffy said.

“Then what Buffy? Please tell me what happened.” Dawn said.

“He was there. Spike was at the park, stepped out in the sun and wrapped his arms around me, turned into a vampire and…” Buffy whipped the tears on her face away pausing for a moment.

“And.” Dawn whispered.

“And…and he went back into the shadows leaving me standing there in the park alone.” Buffy cried.

“He’ll come back to you. He will always come back to you Buffy.” Dawn assured her sister handing her the note that was left at the door.

Buffy turned a sad smile as she read the note. The words that were written lingered on her mind as a distant memory until she realized Spike has said this before. It sunk in the first time he said it, and then it hurt. Not his words but the reality of what they meant. He still feels I need the same lecture. Buffy thought to herself. She looked up at her sister and placed her hand on her sister’s face before standing to her feet. Buffy leaned over and kissed the top of Dawn’s head and started to walk away up the stairs.

“You know it’s true don’t you?” Dawn questioned.

Buffy froze at the bottom stair grabbing onto the railing. Her eyes faded shut as the unwanted question fell from her lips. “What’s true?”

“Love doesn’t come from the brain. It comes from the blood and it waits until we finally realize what is burning inside of us.” Dawn said.

Buffy opened her eyes and just headed her way up the stairs. That old lecture given years ago by a seemingly different Spike racking in her mind, and Dawn’s words flooding over those images. Half way up the stairs Dawn’s voice etched thru her thoughts once more.

“You taught me that, you know?” Dawn shouted.

Buffy stopped and turned around to look down at her sister who had moved to the bottom of the staircase. She was frozen in her thoughts as she stared down into her sister’s face, wandering how she grew up so fast, became so smart.

“Watching you all these years, even my fake memories of growing up with you. You still taught me that. I have seen you love and seen you sacrifice. Your sacrifices come from your mind. It has always been what you think is your duty, but your love you did because you felt it. You felt it in your blood, no matter what your mind thought.”

“Dawn I can’t do that now.” Buffy interrupted.

“You won’t do it because you’re sacred.” Dawn said as she walked up the stairs to meet her sister half way. “Just because you are the slayer doesn’t mean you don’t get scared.”

“It’s not that.” Buffy turned and walked to her room.

“I can see it Buffy. You are scared if you actually feel what runs thru your veins. If you wake up and see, I mean really see what you feel for him he will walk away from you like everybody else.” Dawn said as she stopped at the top of the stairs watching her sister freeze at her bedroom door.

Buffy held the note and flower to her chest has she stood at her door. She inhaled deeply closing her eyes before she walked into her room.

“Sacrifice hurts just as much when you let it stop you from living Buffy!” Dawn shouted as Buffy shut the door behind her.

Buffy walked over to her bed grabbing the black leather duster off of the chair of her vanity wrapping it around her small frame as she curled on the bed. Buffy rolled over on her side and saw another note and daisy lying on the other pillow of her bed before her. She reached out grabbing the note and flower and holding them together with ones she found at the door. Wrapped in the warm duster that still held the lingering faint scent of her once vampire lover she clasped the notes and flowers to her chest and laid there in silence reliving in her memories of him. The old ones of him when she first came back and he stood before her at the bottom of the stairs and she descended down on him, the times he gave her comfort when she thought she wanted to be alone. All of her thoughts always found them coming to their first kiss, then the second one and the third, until when she could see his blue eyes looking into her once again as they were molded into one being. Now newer thought stormed thru her mind with him standing in the sunlight like a marble statue gracing the light with its artistic beauty.

Dawn ended up leaving later that afternoon after waiting for Buffy to come out of her room and they could actually have a decent conversation, unlike the one sided one Dawn felt they had earlier that day. Dawn’s new hangout when she had no other place to go was the back part of the Magic Box where she could release her frustrations out on the punching bag like her big sis did so often. Dawn entered thru the back door that opened from the alley so she wouldn’t interrupt whatever Anya was doing at the time. Now that she had a key to both doors, like Buffy did she didn’t have to break in like the last time she came to the Magic Box and didn’t want anybody to know.

Dawn spent a little bit working on the punching bag, trying to focus on the strengths of her punches and kicks like Buffy taught her but she found herself just wanting to hit something instead of concentrating on hitting something. She got so involved in taking out her anger or frustration, whatever you wanted to call it, even if it was confusion out on the punching bag that she didn’t notice Anya walk thru the door from the shop. Anya stood and watched Dawn fight the punching bag like her big sis has done so many times over the years. She was impressed on how fast Dawn was picking things up even if she still thought as Dawn as the little girl who was too young to even drink coffee yet.

“I thought I heard somebody back here.” Anya said.

Dawn stopped her assault on the bag to look up at Anya and watched as she moved from the door to the small couch by the wall. Anya patted the cushion next to where she was sitting on the couch wanting dawn to come join her so they could talk. Since everything happened Anya had been spending a lot of time by herself and relished the time when her friends came to the Magic Box. Dawn walked over to the couch and sat next to Anya and began taking the wrapping off of her knuckles.

“So.” Anya smiled.

“So.” Dawn said as she sat back with a groan.

“How are things?” Anya asked awkwardly.

“Things are, you know.” Dawn said. “She saw him today.”

“Who saw who?” Anya asked.

“Buffy saw Spike today. During the day in the middle of a park, out in the sunlight.” Dawn said.

“What happened?” Anya asked.

“I don’t know. They saw each other, he stepped out into the sun, and back into the shadows and then left her.” Dawn offered.

“He left for good?” Anya wandered.

“I don’t think he will ever leave for good. He will always be with her in one way or another. She just isn’t seeing it yet.” Dawn stated.

“Seeing what?” Anya questioned.

“Seeing she loves him of course.” Dawn said flatly. “She feels it, but she just isn’t seeing it.”

Buffy woke up after awhile and unwrapped herself from the duster. The small notes and flowers still were held in her grasping hands. Lying the flowers and notes down on her vanity she picked the duster up and folded it up gently placing it back over the back of the chair like it always is. She picked the note that was found on her pillow and opened the envelope pulling the paper from its confides.

Buffy laid the note down next to the others and left her room. Buffy went into the bathroom and washed her face up and brushed her hair as it was a little raggedy from her little nap. She walked thru the house looking to see where Dawn was hoping to have a small talk with her about what happened earlier. She had no idea what she was going to say but thought something needed to be said anyways. Buffy went down into the kitchen glancing quickly into the living room. She couldn’t find Dawn anywhere, and headed to the fridge to grab something to drink. Coming back into her room with a soda in her hand she noticed a small note on the edge of her bed with a daisy across it. Buffy ran to the window looking for him, but the vacant air that warmed Sunnydale was lonely. She moved back to the bed in slow cautious steps picking the note up carefully leaving the daisy where is lay.

Buffy heard a serenade of slow music playing from her living room radio and ran downstairs hoping he would be there amongst the sounds that echoed from the walls.

Buffy ran into the kitchen trying to find him then went back up the stairs running into every room searching for him anywhere. The song still echoed thru the walls chilling thru her spine with sadness. Thoughts of him leaving again, for her, or because of her became torturing as she hurried thru her house in search of any sign he was still there. Ancient words he once spoke of love, and his love for her bellowed over the words from the song that moved across her mind like a lullaby. She never notice him standing at the window in the living room watching her as she ran thru the house. His hand holding him at the window bracing himself in his spot as he watched her.

Buffy rummaged thru her closet looking for something different to put on. She didn’t know where he was going to be, but she needed to find him. She needed to say something, do something so he wouldn’t leave her anymore. Something inside her was screaming for her to stop this. That it didn’t make sense and it wasn’t right to go after such a creature, but the louder part of her that was collapsing in pain and anguish over not having the one thing that makes her feel was winning the internal struggle.

Buffy grabbed her shoes and ran down the stairs. On the last stair was a small daisy lying across another small note. She picked the flower up and the note and went over to the couch to put her shoes on. The daisy and note carried a new smell, but she knew it was still a scent that Spike carried with him. Buffy’s tears started to fall as she read the words that written in this familiar script that graced the paper.

Buffy put the note and the flower down on the coffee table in the living room, and sat and listened to the words move thru the air of her home. She whipped the tears from her face and stood to her feet straightening out her clothes that wrinkled gently as she sat for the moment to read the note. She went to the front door and grabbed the small jacket that lay on the foyer table pulling it over her shoulders. She pulled another small note from her jacket pocket smiling at the thought of Spike knowing her so well. Sometimes she felt he knew her more then she did.

Buffy left the small note on the table next to her and went for the door. Opening the door she saw him standing before her holding a dozen small yellow daisies in his hand. His blue eyes were covered as he stood before her with his eyes closed waiting for her to come to him. Buffy looked over the man before him that shadowed the sun that set behind his back

Spike opened his eyes and looked into Buffy’s green ones. As the song faded to an end silence surrounded the two lovers. Spike offered out the bouquet of daisies to Buffy and she took them from him inhaling their scent before turning around and walking back to the foyer table placing them next to the last note. Buffy took her jacket off and folded it as her eyes drifted closed. Spike stood at the front door watching her movements with wanting.

“Well.” Buffy broke the silence.

“Well what luv?” Spike asked.

“Are you here to say goodbye?” Buffy asked.

“Is that what you want me to say?” Spike questioned.

“I don’t want you to leave.” Buffy whispered.

She never heard him move into her house, but he was there behind her, his essence radiating onto her from him barely touching her. His hand ran down her exposed shoulder and his lips grazed over her ear as his words spilled from his mouth like liquid.

“Ask me.” Spike whispered. “Tell me what you want.”

A single tear ran down Buffy’s cheek as his words sunk into her heart and ran thru her veins. Buffy turned in his arms wrapping her arms around his body pulling him to her. She leaned up on her toes to touch her lips to his, kissing him gently sucking softly on his lower lip. The tear fell between them and both tasted the sadness that ran from her. Spike pulled from her before the kiss could grow deeper, and he stared down into her face.

Her eyes shut and tears running down steadily in a slow stream of pain and guilt, Buffy finally saw what ran thru her veins. For the first time she saw how much it hurt to think he would leave and never come back. How painful it would be to give up on the love that filled her blood.

“I’m asking you to stay.” Buffy said as she opened her eyes to look up at him. “I’m telling you I want you.”

Spike leaned down into her lips and kissed her gently asking for entrance. Buffy opened her lips granting him a deeper passionate kiss. Pouring into each other all the love they have been hiding over the last few months. The sunset behind them, filling light into the house silhouetting their bodies into shadows of distant lovers.

Spike pulled from her lips one last time. “Say it again luv.”

“I want you to stay.” Buffy smiled and took his hand in hers walking up the stairs to her bedroom.

Spike smiled as he pulled her into his arms for another kiss, picking her up and walking into her room closing the door behind them.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

~Fin~

Celtic