Deciphering2

Chapter 9

Wilhemina and Liam were waiting for her in the park when she arrived.

"Are you ever going to pick on of us?" Liam demanded. "Because the other lady was here again, and she really

wants to take me home. She wishes you would make up your mind already. She told me so."

"I don't mean to take so long..." Buffy paused and looked over the horizon. There was another girl standing on

the hill looking down at her. She looked familiar, but Buffy couldn't place her. This puzzled her because

something told her that she knew the girl rather well. "Why can't she just take you?"

"Because," Wilhemina gave an impatient stamp of her foot, "you have to pick first. That's the way it goes. That's

what Mister Man says."

"Who is Mister Man?" Buffy asked.

Liam snorted at her. "The man who is always here. The one who watches us." He shot a look towards Wilhemina.

"I told you that all girls are stupid. She can't even figure out how to pick one of us."

"Girls are not stupid, you're stupid." Wilhemina shot back at him. "She can't pick one of us because she loves us

both too much, duh!" She turned to face Buffy. "Tell him that's so. Tell him you love us both, and that's why you

can't pick. Tell him that girl's aren't stupid."

Before Buffy could respond, another voice broke in.

"Go back and play children. You time is not now."

Buffy looked up to see "Mister Man" standing over her. She stood up to face him.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on here or what?"

"That is something that you need to figure out for yourself. I can only give you hints, you must place it all

together on your own."

"Why am I the only one who can see you?"

"Because you are the only one that needs to see me."

"Ookay. What was the deal in the café?"

"Your mind starting to process information that you are not ready to understand yet. You hold on to things so

tightly."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You have always been so incapable of accepting that something might not be what you have always believed it

to be."

"Can you not talk in riddles?"

The man looked away from her to glance at the children.

"They ask me when you will choose," he said.

"Okay, and again not with the understanding of why I need to pick one of these kids. It's not like they're mine or

anything."

"They could be, if you picked one."

"But WHO are they?"

The man looked at her.

"They are the children of champions."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"...on the floor, her hands to her head. Like she in pain or someting."

"Where is she now?"

"She fall asleep in the backroom. Cristof and I are worried, we never see her like this. What is happening?"

"I don't know. She's been acting strange at home too."

The voices drifted through the haze in Buffy's head. She felt like she should stand up and tell them that she was

alright, but there was a nagging pain in her head that said standing up was a bad idea.

Buffy felt warm hands run themselves over her back soothingly. She tried to open her mouth to speak, but only a

low moan came out.

"Buffy, luv, are you alright?"

Spike pulled the hair back from her face, and sat her up. Buffy kept her eyes closed, the movement sending waves

of nausea over her.

"Hey, Slayer. You giving people a scare here. Don't you know that the swooning thing is over?" He tried to joke,

but it was tense and without humor.

"Spike?" her voice was barely a whisper.

"I'm here, pet. What's wrong?"

"I saw...Angel."

Spike frowned.

"Angel did this to you?"

"No...he was...you...and then...you were...him...and the man...with the kids...have to pick...it hurts." Her head lolled

to the side and landed with a small thunk on Spike's shoulder.

Spike glanced up worriedly at Mrs. Donetello.

"She been like this long?"

"No, she not saying anyting out of normal until just now." Suddenly Mrs. Donetello's eyes got wider as she

remembered something. "OH! Right after she collapse, customer tell me that he saw her talking to empty table."

Spike sighed.

"I'm gonna take her home. Let her rest. Can we take a rain check on dinner, luv?"

"Si, of course. I give you some soup to take home. Matzo ball soup famous for curing sickness."

Spike scooped Buffy up in his arms, allowing her head to fall into the cradle of his neck. She let out another

moan, her arms hanging lifelessly at her sides.

"Don't feel good, Spike. It hurts."

"What hurts, luv?"

"My chest, it burns."

Spike shifted her weight in his arms. He suddenly missed vampire strength. Not that Buffy was heavy, but the

cottage was at least a mile away, and he wasn't sure he could carry her AND a care package that far in the rain.

"Okay, I have soup and umbrella to take you to car. Where you park?" Mrs. Donetello walked back into the room

holding a large plastic container and an umbrella.

"Er, we don't have a car yet," Spike admitted.

"What? No car! You can't carry her home in this weather. You borrow ours, we pick up later. You drive, si?"

"Yeah, I can drive."

"Good. Is settled. Cristof pick up car later. You take Buffy home. Call us if you need anything. Buffy has our number."

Spike allowed Mrs. Donetello to walk them to the car. He carefully placed Buffy in the passenger seat and buckled

her in before walking to the driver's side.

"Thanks Mrs. D, I'll call if we need anything."

Mrs. Donetello waved as they drove away.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Unsure of what to do, Spike talked to Buffy the whole way home. He rambled about anything and everything that

came to his mind. She kept her head pressed to the window, not saying a word.

When they reached the cottage, Spike carried Buffy out of the car and into the house. She still hadn't said

anything, and he was beginning to worry. He tucked her into bed and turned to leave the room.

"Spike?" her voice was barely audible.

"Yes, pet?"

"Are you real?"

He stood for a moment in silence, not sure how to answer her.

"I like to think so, luv. Why do you ask?"

"He told me that 'that which I think is most real is the least real.' I want you to be real Spike. I don't wanna wake up

alone anymore."

Spike crossed back over to where she was curled up on the bed.

"Not gonna let you wake up alone ever again, luv. Gonna be with you always."

He crawled into the bed beside her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Why does it hurt, Spike?"

He kissed the top of her head.

"I don't know. Gonna fix you though, gonna make it all right."

She rolled over in his arms.

"Please be real Spike." Buffy ran her hands up his arms. "You feel real to me." She buried her face in his neck. "You

smell real." She kissed a line from his jaw to his mouth. "You taste real, Spike. How can you not be here?"

"I'm here, pet."

"Make the hurting stop, Spike. Please make it stop."

"Tell me where it hurts."

"It hurts here," she pointed to an area of her chest, near her heart. "Oh god, Spike. It hurts so much."

Tears were beginning to pool in her eyes as Spike leaned down to press a kiss at the area she had pointed at.

The area throbbed and stung, and Buffy closed her eyes as he probed it gently with his tongue and his lips.

"Sshh, it'll be okay. I'll take care of you Buffy. We'll get through this together."

And it was Angel who spoke. Buffy's eyes flew open to meet with his.

"No," she moaned. "No, no, no, no, no. Not real. It's all not real."

"Buffy, what are you talking about?"

"Spike. Spike picked me up from work. I-he brought me home..."

"Buffy, I </>picked you up from work. I</> brought you home, remember?"

She began to sob harder.

"I am crazy. It was so real. Just like he said."

"Like who said Buffy?"

"The man..."

"That which is most real is the least real, right? That's what you said earlier."

"But I told that to Spike, not you."

Angel lifted her face to look at him.

"Buffy, Spike's not here. He hasn't been here. It's just been me. Me and you."

Buffy whimpered and buried her face in his chest. Angel sighed and brought his arms around her.

"It's not real," she whispered. "Nothing's real anymore. All a dream. Wake up dreaming girl."

"Buffy..."

"Sshh, don't talk. You'll change again, and then I won't know who you'll be. Just hold me until I fall asleep."

Angel tightened his hold around her waist. He ran his hands up and down her back until he felt her breathing

even out. He sighed, and stroked her hair. Times like these, he wished he could still talk to Cordelia. She had

always made everything so much easier.

And somewhere in the far corners of his mind, he was just as sure that he'd seen Cordelia earlier as Buffy was

sure she'd seen Spike. And he briefly wondered if someone had put a spell on them, but the thought

disappeared as he succumbed to sleep.

Chapter 10

Buffy decided that she wasn't going to open her eyes. If she didn't open her eyes then she didn't have to face

anything, decide anything. She could just lie in bed, curled up in warm arms, and not dream. Dreaming meant

deciding something as well, and she couldn't figure out what she was supposed to do.

She sighed and rolled over, scooting back so that the body behind her was perfectly spooned with her. Okay,

what would Willow do in this situation? Buffy sat up so quickly, the man next to her let out a moan as her body

heat disappeared. WILLOW! She should call Willow.

Buffy threw the blankets off the bed, and raced to the phone in the hallway. Crap! What was Willow's phone number?

It was written somewhere, but where? Didn't she have a phonebook or something?

She held the receiver to her ear, and listened to the dial tone.

"If you would like to make a call, please hang-"

Was the coven listed in the phone book? And if so, what would it be under? Is there a listing for this sort of thing?

There really should be some sort of other worldly phone book. It would make things so much easier.

Buffy tapped her foot impatiently on the ground. Think, think, think, think. She hesitantly picked up the phone,

and dialed a number that seemed vaguely familiar. After letting it ring several times, Buffy hung up as the

machine picked up.

"Hi, you've reached T-"

Instead of heading back to her bedroom, Buffy found herself headed toward the porch swing. To be honest, the

thought of curling up with whomever was in bed with her this time didn't seem appealing. The very notion that

the man she was with could shift shapes gave her chills. Was it a demon?

Then there was the man that only she could see. He obviously fit into this somewhere. After all, he was making

extreme cameos in her dreams. What about the children? The children of champions...which champions though?

And why did she have to choose one?

"I'm becoming nuttier than Drusilla on crack," she thought to herself as she sat down on the swing.

Next to her on the swing was a notebook. Buffy picked it up and tossed it repeatedly in the air. Angel or Spike?

Spike or Angel? Portraits or Poetry?

"Is your chest better?"

Buffy missed the next catch of the notebook, and it landed open and face down at her feet.

"Are you going to pick that up?"

The man pushed the porch swing so that the two of them were slowly moving back and forth over the open

notebook.

"What will you see if you pick it up right now? Will it be the same thing if you pick it up in five minutes? Is it ever

changing, like your mind?"

"What do you want from me?" Buffy's voice came out dry and scratchy.

"I want nothing from you. Why did you think I did?"

"Because you're everywhere I turn around. You're in my dreams, you're in my work, you're in my fucking house!

And always with the damn cryptic messages: 'you have to pick one Buffy,' 'reality is merely your perception, Buffy,'

'that which you think is the most real is really the least real, Buffy.' WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR DEAL?"

The man frowned.

"I didn't think you'd give up so easily...or break so easily."

"I don't give up easily, and I NEVER break." Her voice was steel.

The man leaned forward.

"Buffy," his voice oozed seduction at her. "Do you want to touch me?"

She pulled back, afraid. Suddenly, the need to put as much distance between the two of them was overwhelming.

"I thought I wouldn't like you if I touched you. That's what you said, isn't it?" Buffy asked sliding to the far end of the swing.

"You won't, but you might be ready."

"Ready for what?"

With a growl, the man stood up and kicked the open notebook away. It landed a few feet away, closed.

"You are not ready. You still ask too many questions. Your time and my patience grow short, Slayer. Tick-tock, tick-tock.

That's the sound of your clock running out. Heed my messages, pay attention to your dreams, and MAKE YOUR

CHOICE."

Buffy blinked, and he was gone. The notebook was lying on the swing next to her, closed. With a sigh she picked

it up and held it. Closing her eyes, she flipped through the pages and let the book randomly fall open in her lap.

Buffy squinted one eye open and looked at the notebook. Too blurry. She opened both eyes and gasped. The

notebook was empty.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Buffy wasn't sure how long she sat on the swing staring at the empty notebook, but when she finally looked up

the sun was shinning down on her in full glory. She sighed as she stood up and stretched before heading back

into the house.

There was movement in the kitchen. Someone was making breakfast. Buffy walked into the kitchen and leaned

on the doorway. Angel was cracking eggs into a frying pan.

"What are you making?"

He jumped and dropped an egg on the floor.

"Buffy!" He quickly grabbed a towel to clean up the mess on the floor. "You shouldn't sneak up on people like that."

"What, all stalker like? Not fun when someone does it to you, is it?"

Angel threw the towel into the sink, and then walked over to where she was standing. He nervously folded his

arms over his chest.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

"What time did you get up this morning?"

Buffy shrugged.

"Look, I know that you've been having a difficult time with this. I talked to my friend this morning, and he thinks

that maybe there is some sort of demon interference happening here. Something that maybe hung a ride on

the little spell that brought me here." Angel went back to the stove, and began fiddling with the eggs again.

"Yeah, I suppose we should have wondered about something that just suddenly brought you back all of the

beating heart variety." Buffy said, but internally she added "or Spike" to the sentence.

"Er, well, I just figured it was the Shanshu prophecy that brought me here."

Buffy groaned. "Another prophecy? Good lord, are these things just growing off of vines somewhere. Why don't

you tell me exactly what this sans-shoe prophecy thingy is?"

"It's Shanshu," he corrected her. "It was this prophecy that had to do with a souled vampire and an apocalyptic

battle. After the battle, the vampire would be rewarded by being reborn, which means turned human."

"Spike had a soul, and he saved the world during an apocalyptic battle. Why didn't he Shamu?"

Angel set down a plate of bacon and omelet in front of her.

"I don't know. The funny thing is, I sighed my right to the prophecy away."

"You can't just sign away a prophecy. If you could, do you think I would have died at the hands of the

Master? Hell, no. I would have been all signing away girl on that one." Buffy pushed her food around on the plate

thoughtfully. "Do you...You don't think that someone at Wolfram and Hart had something to do with this, do you?

I mean, hello, evil law firm and all."

"It wasn't all evil. I told you that. We were working on changing it from the inside." Angel put his fork down on

the plate.

"Is that what you told yourself to help you sleep better at night?"

"HEY! Do you have a problem with me? I thought we agreed that what happened in the past is the past."

"Yeah, well my problem is that I never understood why you took over that firm in the first place. Plus, have you

even talked to any of your people since you've been here? Do you know if they survived?"

Angel looked away from her.

"Yeah, I've talked to people. Why don't you ask me?"

"Ask you what?"

"There's a question in your brain that you are just dying to ask me, isn't there?"

"Well, I'd still kinda like to know what possessed you to take over an evil law firm?"

"Connor."

"Your son?" Buffy asked, confused. "He made you take over an evil law firm?"

"No, I made a deal to save Connor." Angel pushed his chair away from the table. He got up, and walked over to

the window. He didn't face her as he began to talk again. "I told you that my son was kidnapped and raised in a

hell dimension, but that's not the whole story. I was being stalked by this old enemy of mine named Holtz,

Angelus had killed his family, and he had made a deal that allowed him to jump through time. Coincidently,

Wesley uncovered this supposed prophecy that said I would eventually kill Connor, so he deducted that taking

Connor away would save him. Problem was, the prophecy was a fake set up by some sort of dimension hopping

demon that Connor was supposed to kill in the future. Holtz had Wesley's throat slit, got a hold of Connor, and

jumped into the worst hell dimension known. My son, my only son, was raised in Hell, and raised to hate me."

Angel paused and leaned his head against the window. "It should have been me in that Hell dimension, not him.

He was an innocent."

"Why didn't you ever tell me any of this before?" Buffy asked coming up behind him.

"I-I didn't know how to...and you had so much going on with your own life, I didn't want to bother you."

"Keep going," she whispered. Buffy slid her arms around his waist and rested her head on his back.

Angel closed his eyes.

"He...he came back so angry. I wanted to help him, but...he thought I was a monster, but it was him that became

evil. He-he sank me to the bottom of the ocean...kidnapped people...tied bombs to them...There's more, but...I-I

don't want to get into it all."

"Angel, I am so, so sorry."

"It's not your fault. Then along came Wolfram and Hart. I don't know what they offered everyone else, but they

offered me a chance to give Connor a real life. They would erase him from everyone's memories, everyone

except me, and they would place him with a good family who would never know that he wasn't really their son."

"Like Dawn," she said.

"Yeah, I guess. I agreed to run the firm, but only if I got to see him first, and..." Angel's voice hitched slightly. "Oh,

Buffy, you should have seen him. He had a great family, and he was going to go to college on scholarship, and

he had this great relationship with-with his dad. It was everything I ever wanted for him. So I did it, I sold my life

to Wolfram and Hart for him to be happy."

"I wish you would have told me before, but I'm glad you did now." Buffy tightened her grip around his waist.

"Yeah, I wish I would have told you earlier too...Spike survived."

"What?" Buffy lifted her head off his back.

"It's the answer to your question. Spike survived the apocalypse."

Chapter 11

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Buffy eyed the magic supplies warily.

"No, but it's what was suggested." Angel answered. "It should tell us if there's some sort of demon or spell causing

your hallucinations."

"You know, I think I did this spell once before, when my mom was sick."

Angel looked up at her briefly.

"Did it work?" he asked.

"Sorta. Not in the way I wanted it to, but...that's how I first knew about Dawn. Wow! Seems a lifetime ago."

"Well, you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

The sat inside the circle and closed their eyes. Angel slowly began reciting the spell, and Buffy felt a whoosh float

through her. It felt different than the last time she had done the spell, tinglier and dizziness, and...pain.

Buffy's eyes popped open and bulged slightly out of her head. She couldn't remember ever being in so much

pain. Her chest was on fire, and the heat radiated off of her and through out her body. She couldn't breathe,

ouldn't move, and couldn't focus. Her eyes rolled back into her head, and the world went black.

"Buffy, luv, wake up."

Something wet and cool patted down her forehead.

"Bloody magic. Don't know how I let you talk me into this."

"S-s-sp-"

"Sshh, don't try and talk, luv. Gave me a nasty scare there."

Buffy struggled to open her eyes, but she couldn't. Her entire body felt like it was trapped beneath dead weight.

She tried to speak again, but it came out as a moan.

"Alright, pet, gonna get you to bed."

Arms slid underneath her and lifted her up. Buffy felt her head roll lifelessly to the side and land on Spike's chest.

She let out another groan.

Spike sighed. He wasn't sure how he had let her talk him into doing this spell. Using magic rarely led to good

things, and he wasn't even sure where this particular spell had come from anyway. Of course it had gone awry,

and now something was wrong with Buffy. He would give anything to be able to get a hold of a witch right now

to find out what the bugger he was supposed to do to make her better.

He laid her gently on the bed, and pulled the covers up around her.

"Spike," her voice came out hoarse.

"I'm here, pet."

"H-how...you...Angel..."

Spike rubbed his forehead. Bugger, they were back with the Angel talk again. Why was he forever cursed to have

to hear about the broody, foreheaded wonder?

"Angel has never been here. Just 'lil 'ol' me, remember?"

Buffy opened her mouth to speak again, but Spike shushed her with his finger.

"No talking, resting time."

"Hurts..." she whispered through his finger. "Hurts bad."

"Gonna fix it, luv. Gonna find a way to make you right again. Now, go to sleep."

Buffy closed her eyes, and was instantly asleep.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The sky was blackening around her as she made her way up the hill to the park. Lightening flashed, turning

the area into daylight each moment it struck. The wind howled and swept around her, causing leaves to dance in

mini-tornados.

Buffy broke into a sprint up the hill, but it seemed the more she ran the farther it was to the top.

"MINA!! LIAM!!" Her voice was lost in the wind.

The children had to be okay. They just had to be.

With another burst of energy, Buffy reached the top. The park was empty. She watched the empty swings moving

on their own accord for a minute before her eyesight turned to her left. She had never noticed the cemetery

there before.

Slowly, Buffy reached behind her for the stake in her waistband. With the stake in her hand, she burst through

the cemetery fence and glanced wildly around. It was empty, but there was a large mausoleum that caught her

attention. She headed toward it, only to stop at the door. She knew this crypt...With a quick snap, she kicked the

door opened and rushed through.

She was in the Hellmouth. How did she get here again?

"AAH!"

Buffy glanced down. The sword had gone straight through her chest. Not her chest, should be her stomach. She

looked up and into her own eyes.

"Ouch! This mortalizing wound tickles."

Buffy stared at the First, confused.

"BUFFY!"

With a gasp, Buffy turned her head to where the light was coming from. It was Spike, wearing his amulet and

bursting into flames.

"Buffy, you let Angel kill me. I loved you. Why did you do it?"

Buffy opened her mouth to respond, but only small squeals came out. She watched in horror, unable to move,

as Spike's skin burned away from his muscles, then the muscles burned away into his bones. His eyes melted last,

and never strayed from hers. The second his bones turned to dust, Buffy found she could move again. She started

to run toward where Spike had been standing, but she tripped and fell.

"Buffy?"

She looked up from the ground.

"Xander?"

Xander pulled her up. They were standing in her backyard on Revello drive.

"What are we doing here?" she asked.

"Don't know about you, but I'm looking for something."

He turned his head to face her fully. The eye patch was missing, and Buffy found herself staring at his empty

socket.

"X-xander, what happened?"

She found herself backing away from him.

"You happened, Buffy. I was the one who saw it all, but you took that away from me. You made me half a man.

Took my eye, took my heart. I see nothing now."

"No, no, no. Xander, please, it wasn't supposed to be like this."

"Willow can't fix it now," he said. "All white, no black in her."

A single maggot began to crawl out of his eye, and in horror, Buffy turned away from him.

"Buffy, you can't turn away from your duty." Giles ducked his head to meet her eye. "You must kill him, he's evil

now."

"Who am I killing?" Buffy asked.

"Angel. He is a vampire, you are a vampire slayer, hence the stake to the heart."

"But he has a soul," she whispered.

Giles sighed. "See, this is why you never got the handbook. You're too stupid to be a vampire slayer. Frankly, I

amazed that you survived this long. Kendra was much better than you. Wish I had her as a slayer. Don't know

why I had to draw the short stick of the watchers."

"What? Giles, please." Buffy's voice came out begging.

He scoffed. "Always with the whining. Dear lord, I should have left you sooner. Everything you touch turns to

dust. Everyone you love, becomes scarred and twisted. You're a curse."

"Giles, please, I'm not a curse."

"No, you're a curse lifter."

Buffy spun around.

"Angel?"

"You took away my soul. You made me evil. I would have been able to absolve my sins, until you came along and

added to them."

Angel walked around her, brushing his hand through her hair as he did so.

"You left me in Hell," he whispered into her ear. "You left me to rot. You are nothing but a blight on the face of

this Earth."

"No," she moaned.

She was back in the park again. Buffy turned around in a circle. She was alone. With a cry she dropped to her

knees, right as lightening stuck the tree behind her.

The bolt split the tree in half, and fire danced through the branches. Within seconds, the entire playground was

ngulfed in flames. The fire danced, eating it's way through the sandbox, the slide, the swings, and the

teeter-totter.

"Oh God!" Buffy breathed. The children were on the teeter-totter.

"LIAM! MINA! RUN!"

They ignored her cries, and continued to play.

Buffy tried to stand up, tried to run toward them, but an invisible barrier stopped her. She pounded her fists

against the wall, but she couldn't break it.

"NO! RUN!"

She watched in horror as the flames licked the children's feet, and they both turned to her.

"You didn't pick one," Wilhemina said.

"You let us die," Liam said.

"No, I didn't mean to." Buffy whispered, dropping to her knees. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Chapter 12

She was screaming as though she would never stop. Spike frantically tried to wake her up, but his attempts were

futile. Buffy kicked out one leg, and sent Spike flying across the room. Suddenly he realized just how mortal he

was, and how very much she could hurt him.

"SORRY! SO SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!" Buffy was screaming and thrashing at the sheets around her.

Spike moved slowly toward her, rubbing the back of his head where he'd hit the wall. He made soothing noises

hoping that she would wake up, and not try and stake him by accident.

Finally, with a final cry, her eyes popped open.

"Spike?"

"Yeah, luv?"

Buffy sat straight up in the bed.

"You're here?"

"I'm here."

She lunged at him with such force that she knocked him back into the wall. Buffy's mouth viciously claimed his,

and she forced his mouth open with her tongue.

"Need to know you're here. Need to feel you," she murmured into his mouth.

"Buffy, luv..."Spike hissed as she bit down on his neck. "What...oh...what are you doing?"

With a snarl, Buffy tore his shirt open and placed small nips and kisses down his chest. She paused at his crotch,

and looked up at him briefly before popping the button of his jeans clean off his pants. With that obstacle out

of the way, Buffy slid him into her mouth, her hands gripping hard at his hips.

Spike's eyes closed in ecstasy, and his head fell backward as a moan escaped his lips. This wasn't right though,

and he knew it.

"Buffy, please."

She mistook his plea, and began working faster.

Spike grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up, even as his hips bucked unconsciously forward at the loss of her.

He struggled to search her eyes, and her lips attacked him again.

"Need you. Need you now. Need to know you're real." Buffy grabbed him, spun him around, and threw Spike onto

the bed.

At that moment, Spike realized what was happening. This wasn't lovemaking. No, this was something primal. This

was Hellmouth sex. This was about needing to feel, needing to belong, needing to find something missing, but

this time around, Spike was a little more fragile in the mortality department. With that state the Buffy was in, that

thought scared him.

She jumped on top of him, straddling his waist. With a growl, Spike flipped them over to gain more control. He

grabbed her wrists, and forced them over her head before leaning in to kiss her. Briefly, he tried to soften what

they were doing, but Buffy wouldn't allow it. As soon as he felt her tense up to move, Spike quickly began

nipping a path down her neck. She stilled under him.

"Now! In me now!" she ordered, bucking her hips up.

Spike apparently didn't move fast enough. Buffy flipped them back over before a coherent thought to obey her

order had made it through Spike's brain. She slammed down on him hard, throwing her head back in ecstasy.

"God, luv."

Spike's hands clutched at her hips as Buffy raked her nails down his chest, leaving long red lines behind them.

"Look at me, luv. Look into my eyes," he ordered softly.

Buffy lowered her head, but she kept her eyes firmly shut.

"Please, luv, look at me."

Buffy opened her eyes, and gasped when she saw him beneath her. Her frantic thrusting began to slow as she

lost herself in his gaze.

Spike brought up one hand to run his fingers through her hair.

"I'm here, luv. It's all me here."

He pulled her mouth down to his to kiss her lazily. As her body relaxed, Spike used the moment to flip them over.

"Can you feel me now?" he asked. "I'm here with you, Buffy. Never gonna leave you. 'M yours forever, understand?"

"Spike..."

"Buffy."

"Love you, love you so much."

"I know, kitten, I know."

Spike slowly stilled his hips, and they fell asleep still joined together.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Buffy awoke with a sense of panic. She couldn't breathe. She was trapped. Pushing up frantically, Buffy managed

to shove at the chest that bound her to the bed.

Angel gave a small "Ooph" sound as her rolled off of her. Buffy stared in shock at the long, red nail marks that

traveled up his naked back. She brought her hands to her face, and scooted under the covers. Would this

nightmare never end?</>

"Buffy?" Angel couldn't hide the questioning in his voice. "I-I think something's wrong."

Buffy slowly brought her head up.

"What do you mean?"

"I, uh, I think that when I went to bed...I was...not..." he trailed off.

"You weren't with me, were you?" she asked as realization hit.

Angel shook his head sheepishly.

"Angel?" Buffy asked as she sat up in bed. "What's going on?"

He sighed, "I wish I knew. At first, I was here. Then...I think I wasn't, and when I wasn't with you, it was like I

completely knew what was happening. Then the moment I saw you...I forgot."

Buffy nodded.

"That was how it was for me at first, but then I started to remember bits of things. Like...how sometimes you

were...well, Spike."

"There was this woman..."

"A woman?" Buffy looked at him, confused. "Didn't you see a man?"

"A man? No, there was this woman, and she kept...keeps telling me that I need to make a choice, but I don't

understand what she's taking about. What choice do I have to make?"

"The children! Did you see the children?"

"Children? No, I, what children?"

Buffy pulled the covers up over her as she leaned back into the headboard.

"Do you dream about the children in the park? The one's that keep saying to pick one?"

Angel shook his head.

"It's like, when I'm in the dream, I know what I have to choose...and I know my choice, but then I open my mouth

and all that comes out is this..."

"Scream," Buffy finished for him.

"Right, and then I wake up and I see you, and everything else melts away. Are we under a spell?"

"I don't know."

Angel tossed the covers aside, and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" Buffy asked.

"I'm gonna shower, and take you to breakfast. Then, we are going to figure out what's going on."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Angel toyed with his coffee mug. It seemed so surreal to be sitting with Buffy in broad daylight, drinking coffee

and eating a pastry. This had been his dream for so long, so why wasn't he happy? Wasn't this his perfect happiness?

He watched Buffy bite her lip in concentration as she struggled with the morning crossword puzzle. A chuckle

broke from his lips as he watched her curse, and snap the pencil down the middle in frustration.

"What was the clue?" he asked.

She blew a strand of hair out of her face.

"It's a billion letter word for state of confusion."

"Oh, come on Buffy. I'm sure it's not a billion letters. Let me see."

She slid the paper across the table, and let her gaze move to the shoppers across the street.

"It's discombobulate."

"Disco-what a?"

"Discombobulate. It means state of confusion."

Buffy groaned.

"A state that we are perpetually in."

Angel followed her gaze across the street to the woman she was intently watching.

"It's her."

In a flash he was up, and running across the street.

"Angel, what?"

Buffy stared in shock as Angel ran right up to the so-called invisible man and began having an argument with him.

She quickly threw some bills down on the table to pay for breakfast, and then raced across the street to join him.

"Angel, you can see him? He can see you?" Buffy's head whipped between the two men.

Angel looked at her quizzically.

"Buffy, what are you talking about? What man? This is the woman I have been telling you about all morning."

The man/woman laughed.

"I was starting to think you two would play this game forever. Buffy sees me as a man, Angel see me as a woman.

Come, we have much to talk about."

The man/woman snapped it's fingers, and instantly they were in an open field.

"Where are we?" Buffy demanded.

"Actually, you are neither here nor there. I just thought this would be a pretty location. We can always go

someplace else."

"No, here's fine. Tell us what is going on?" Angel demanded.

"How are you people champions? I can't believe you haven't figured it out yet."

"Look," Angel's voice took an edge. "Until yesterday, I didn't even realize that I wasn't with Buffy one hundred

percent of the time. But my patience is wearing thin, and believe me, you do NOT want to see me angry."

The man/woman sighed and rolled its eyes at him.

"What is the last thing you remember? Either of you?"

Buffy and Angel both glanced at each other.

"Oh, you two are so unbelievable stubborn. My patience is on a thread. If it wasn't for the Powers That Be and their

damn liking of you two, I would have discarded you long ago. I gave you the hints, I gave you the clues."

"You gave me riddles!" Buffy exploded.

"Yes, riddles which you are finally starting to figure out. I mean, you've been here long enough."

"I've been here a year, since Dawn went to college..."Buffy trailed off suddenly unsure.

"Have you? Have you really been here a year Buffy?"

The man took a step closer to her.

"Touch my arm Buffy, and all will be revealed."

Angel reached out to give Buffy's hand a quick squeeze as she stepped forward, one hand held tentatively out in

front of her. The second her fingers made contact with his skin, she felt her insides turn to ice. A coldness moved

through out her whole body, and as the world started to go black, she heard someone screaming her name.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Well, what did you think?" Dawn asked as she waited for Buffy to catch up with her outside the theater.

"I don't understand why they had to dub the movie in Italian. I mean, couldn't they just leave it in English and put

those subtitley things on the bottom of the screen?"

"Buffy, we've lived here for how long, and you still can barely speak a word of Italian? What did you do, just watch

Brad Pitt's ass the whole time?"

Buffy laughed as she linked arms with Dawn.

"You say that like it's a bad thing. I mean, he's got a nice ass. A nice Brad Pitty ass."

Dawn shook her head as she and Buffy headed down the street that would eventually lead them home.

"Oh, crap. I forgot that Andrew drank all the milk this morning. Can we stop and get some?" Dawn asked as she

noticed a twenty-four hour convenience store.

"Yeah, I could totally go for some ice cream right about now."

Both girls entered the convenience store, and began to wander around. Dawn quickly grabbed a carton of milk,

and went to get in line. Buffy wandered around the ice cream section, trying not to feel too disappointed about

the lack of choices. Finally, she grabbed a pint of cookie dough, and began to make her way over to Dawn.

"NOBODY MOVE!"

The two men burst into the store, gun flaring in the direction of the clerk.

"GIVE US THE MONEY AND NOBODY GETS HURT!"

Buffy put the ice cream on the counter, and began to move around to get a better glimpse of the two men.

"I SAID, NOBODY MOVE!"

One of the men had seen Buffy in the mirror, and he reached out to the nearest person to him. Buffy watched in

horror, as the man snaked his arm around Dawn's waist to pull her close to him. He placed the muzzle of the gun

near Dawn's temple.

"I suggest you start emptying that register, or this little girl's going to get it." The man pressed the gun harder into

Dawn's head, to register his point.

"Just give him the money," Buffy pleaded with the clerk.

"Yeah, just give me the money. Like the little lady said," the man jeered.

The clerk popped the register open, and began dumping the money on the counter. The thief tightened his

hold around Dawn's waist.

"Pretty, little thing. American, aren't you? I hear you American girls love bad boys. Whaddya say you and me paint

the town red after this is all over?"

Dawn's reaction to his tongue at her throat was the pure reaction of someone who had grown up with a Slayer

for a sister and a vampire for a best friend. Without thinking about the gun pressed against her head, she swung

her elbow backwards directly into his stomach. As he groaned, she quickly twirled away and kicked him in the

stomach again. Her eyes widened as she watched him raise the forgotten gun and aim at her.

"No!"

The blur of blonde knocked Dawn into the floor.

"SHIT! WHAT DID YOU DO, MAN?"

"I shot her. I didn't mean to...I shot her...I shot her...oh, man..."

"WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. COME ON, MAN. GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR."

The men ran out the door before anyone could stop them.

"Buffy?" Dawn slowly pushed her sister off of her.

Buffy rolled over and hit the floor with a thud. Dawn looked down to see her shirt covered in blood.

"Oh God!" she murmured.

Looking down at her sister, Dawn realized that the blood was spurting from a small hole in Buffy's chest.

"Buffy? BUFFY!"

Dawn cradled her sister's head in one hand as the other applied pressure to the wound.

"Please, somebody help us. Call 911! Please!" Dawn's voice rose in panic as tears slide down her face.

"D-d-dawnie..." Buffy's eyes were heavy. "Hurts so much. On fire. Love you. Always."

"NO!" Dawn cried out, her voice thick with emotion. "Don't you do that. Don't you say good-bye! You're the

Slayer. You're the Chosen One, and you still have to fight evil. I need you, please." Dawn leaned over to cover

Buffy's face with her own.

Buffy smiled slowly at her sister as she felt her eyes close. Why was she so cold when her chest was on fire?

Dawn pulled back suddenly.

"NO!" She gave Buffy a little shake. "NO!" Another shake. "BUFFY! BUFFY, WAKE UP! PLEASE WAKE UP! BUFFY! NO!

BUFFY!"

Chapter 13

"Buffy! Buffy, wake up."

Angel's voice pulled her up from the black fog around her. She was lying in Angel's lap, and his tears were falling

onto his face.

"No!"

With a choked sob, Buffy freed herself from his embrace and jumped up. Frantically, she began pressing her

fingers over the spot on her chest.

"Buffy, it's true. It's all true. I remember now. You didn't come to the apocalypse in L.A because you were already

dead."

Buffy whirled around to face him.

"That is ridiculous. THIS is ridiculous. I'm not dead. I can't be dead. I-I can feel my heartbeat, and-and I can

remember moving here..."

Angel tried to approach her, but she backed away.

"NO!"

"Buffy, please. I-I think, I think that I'm dead too. I think we're in heaven."

Buffy stamped her foot.

"No," she repeated. "I was in heaven. I remember heaven. This isn't it."

"You're right," the man/woman stepped forward. "This isn't heaven."

Angel glared at him.

"Then where are we, and who are you?" He forced the words out of his clenched teeth.

"I am a watcher of sorts. I work for the Powers That Be, and this," he swept his arms out. "This is a special place for

champions."

"And you are the one who has been playing these games with us? Making us think that we're slowly going crazy?"

Angel advanced on him.

"Not exactly. Let me explain. Please," he gestured to some chairs that popped up out of nowhere. "This is a special

area of heaven reserved for the champions and their loved ones. It's a place where they can finally live out the

lives that they were never able to have. A place where they can be with their...soul mates."

"You know, I have to say, this whole going crazy thing is not so fun. I think I liked it better when I was slaying."

Buffy pouted.

Angel looked at the man curiously.

"Then why does Buffy keep switching places with Cordelia? And why do I keep switching places with Spike?"

The man's eyes sparkled.

"Ah, the question I have been waiting for. You two have been the most difficult of champions that I have ever

had. It is a known fact that there is more then one soul mate made for every person alive. Most people meet one

of their potential soul mates, and live out their life with them, but you two...You two met, and then, against all

odds, walked away from each other. Then, to defy odds ever more, BOTH of you met your other soul mates. So,

when you came here, a choice had to be made. Which soul mate do you wish to spend you after-life with? But

neither of you could seem to make up your mind. You were both content with which ever soul mate we put you

with, BUT your other soul mates were not content without you. So, since you two met first, it became up to you

to make a decision. To be together or with your other soul mate, but you started to take too much time, and the

magic that holds this place together was starting to shift because of it. Buffy didn't even realize that she had

died, which caused numerous rifts along the vortex that this area inhibits because we had to find ways to keep

her loved ones away."

"W-what do you mean my loved ones?" Buffy asked quietly.

"Your mother has tried to come see you, as well as Tara, Anya, and Mr. Giles. Oh, and you do realize that the day

you were reaching out to a witch, you called Tara, don't you?"

Buffy stood up.

"My-my mother's here?"

Angel put a hand on her arm, and pulled her back down to the bench.

"I'm still unclear about what is going on here. My memory's kind of hazy, but I remember that I outlived Spike by

at least twenty years."

"You did. Time moves differently here. You've been dead for a little over two years, and Buffy has been dead for

thirty years."

"I've only been here a year, though. I know I have!" Buffy felt panic slip into her voice.

"Once again, time moves differently here. It just seems like a year to you. Think of it this way, almost twenty years

passed in the time you fell asleep with Spike that first night, and awoke with Angel."

Angel looked over at Buffy as he tried to sort through the information they were being given, she had tears

running down her face.

"We're dead," she whispered. "We're all dead."

Angel slid closer to her, and wrapped his arm around her.

"But now we'll get to live the lives we always wanted."

Buffy turned her head to look at the man again.

"This is what you meant when you said that we had to choose, isn't it? We have to decide whom we want to be

with."

The man nodded and stood up. With a wave of his hand four people appeared behind him. On his left, in front

of Buffy, was Spike and Wilhemina, and to his right, in front of Angel, were Cordelia and Liam.

"The time has come to make your choice, and on this, you must be in agreement. Talk it out if you like, they can't

hear you." With that, the man disappeared.

Buffy and Angel turned to face each other.

"A real life. No Slaying. No vampires." Angel mused slowly.

"It's what we always dreamed of isn't it?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah..."Angel trailed off as his eyes flitted briefly to Cordelia.

"It's...it's okay," Buffy said as his eyes settle back on hers again. "I-I think that maybe...maybe we missed our time."

"I think we did too," Angel agreed sadly as he took a step closer to her. "I think we did too."

Buffy helped him close the space between them, and they shared their last kiss.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Epilogue

"Hurry up, we are going to be late!" Spike yelled through the hallway.

"I'm moving as fast as I can, but someone's not cooperating," Buffy called back.

Spike wandered into the room, and narrowly missed being smacked by a flying dress.

"What is going on here?" he asked, slightly amused.

Buffy rolled her eyes at him before staring pointedly at the five year old bundle of energy intent on trying on

every outfit in her closet.

"Liam's going to be at the party. Mina is trying to find something to make him notice her."

"Liam and I are going to be married," Mina said stubbornly.

Spike groaned and joined Buffy on the bed.

"I can't believe that you want to marry the son of the poof."

Mina threw another dress in the direction of her father.

"Uncle Angel is NOT a poof. He's just 'broody,'" she concluded, mimicking the word that he mother used so often.

Spike laughed.

"That he is, Bit. But you need to hurry, you don't want to upset Auntie Tara by missing your Aunt Willow's

welcoming party."

Mina settled on a dress, and waited for Buffy to comb her hair.

"Mom, were you and Aunt Willow good friends? Where has she been? Why haven't I met her before?"

Buffy smiled as she brushed her daughter's hair.

"Willow and I were best friends. She's been...very far away, but now we are going to see her lots."

"What if I don't like her? What if she doesn't like me? What if she doesn't let Auntie Tara take me to movies and

shake day?" Mina's voice took a slight edge of panic.

Spike tugged a strand of her hair playfully.

"Don't worry, pet. Red will love you. Now let's get going. Don't want to keep Liam waiting, do ya?"

Mina happily bounced out of the room as Spike slipped his arms around Buffy's waist and nuzzled her neck.

"You 'xcited, luv?" he asked as he watched their reflection in the mirror.

"Yeah," she answered turning around in his arms. "It will be nice to see Willow again, and Tara's going to be so

happy."

"And you?" he asked. "You happy, luv?"

Buffy smiled as she leaned in to kiss him.

"Perfectly," she whispered as she took him by the hand, and led him into the sunshiny day where their daughter

was waiting.

The End.