Title: Enigma
Part: 1
Series: The Circle Of Slayers Part 3
Author: Denna
Email: Dennaseer@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All belongs to Joss and UPN.
Summary: The attack is over and the Slayer is safe once again, but is she
safe from Spike? BR> Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Thro 'All The Way'

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sunday, November 11th, 2:00 AM

Buffy emerged wearing a fresh set of Santa pajamas with fuzzy blue slippers.
Her face and hair was still damp from the recent shower she had had a half
hour before. She had her things piled in her arms and silently opened her
door on a still sleeping Spike and placed them in her hamper. She quietly
exited, closing the door behind her. She wandered down the stairs to the
living room and dropped into the unoccupied couch, looking rather the worse
for wear.

She felt eyes on her. Looking up, she saw Willow, Tara and Giles staring
down at her with uncomfortable looks upon their faces.

“Buffy…” Willow said quietly.

“What?”

“You and Sp-…. Are you two…. umm…. yeah…is he…are you…” the poor Wicca
sputtered on nervously.

“Are you two sleeping together?” Giles blurted out, quite tactlessly. Willow
and Tara winced and cast the Watcher a reproachful l ook

“What!?” Buffy practically shouted, her cheeks blushing furiously and her
eyes flashed with indignation.

“Can we take that as a no?” Willow asked.

“You guys think that me…and Spike…would…. Ewww…no!”

“Oh,” Giles said, cleaning his glasses, “Well, that’s all right then.”

“What would give you any idea that I would want to even…” Buffy couldn’t
finish. She felt so uncomfortable. She wanted to crawl under a hole and die.
Again.

“We’re sorry, Buffy,” Willow answered, sitting down on the couch beside her
friend, “It’s just that…you two seemed close. A lot closer than what we’re
used to. You’re getting really attached to him.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well,” Giles said, sitting down on Buffy’s other side, “We’ve all noticed
that over the last two months you have been spending more time with Spike
than you have with any of us. We are all getting worried. What if he takes
advantage of you?”

“You know I wouldn’t let him do that.”

“Would you? I know that it’s been hard and we can’t possibly even come close
to imagining what you’re going through. But Spike is dead, Buffy. And maybe
you can find some common ground to share upon but remember, Buffy, who Spike
is. A killer. A cold blooded killer.”

“And when you were on the porch you were really…” Willow said, “You were
practically hysterical, Buffy. It was like someone was cutting off your arm
or something. And you were holding him, real comfy-like and then you….
kissed him.”

“Oh, that?” Buffy said, staring at the floor, “I was worried. Yes, Spike and
me have gotten closer and we have become, well, friends even. I was a little
freaked. The kiss, it was just my freakiness doing its freaky things. And it
was just a peck on the forehead. Nothing was meant by it.”

“But Spike probably doesn’t think that.” Tara said quietly.

“We believe you, Buffy.” Giles said, “But you have to know that absolutely
nothing can come of you and Spike. Ever. Even if we knew he would always be
good and never become evil again, it would rise to too many complications
and it would be dangerous.”

“I know, I know,” Buffy said impatiently, “Nothing will ever happen, you all
know that. But…he does deserve some trust and at least a little respect. I
mean, for all the things he’s done for Dawn.”

“Just promise us,” Willow said, taking her hand and squeezing it gently,
“Don’t let it get too far. Spike’s freaky crush on you isn’t healthy. You
can’t let him have any ideas.”

“Yeah…” Buffy muttered.

“Please Buffy,” Giles told her, “You have to trust us on this. We know
what’s best for you. It’s just…. take your relationship with Angel. You and
Angel were…in love. When you were with him you were more happy than I had
ever seen you before. And when Angel lost his soul, it took an incredible
amount of your emotional strength to kill him, and there were times when you
couldn’t do it because you loved him so. And because of those choices, many
lives were lost. Like Jenny.”

Buffy winced. “That’s harsh, Giles.”

“So is what happened today.” Said Giles, his tone serious.

“What happened, Buffy?” Tara asked in a quietly maternal voice, momentarily
reminding the Slayer of her mother.

“I…I don’t know. I was patrolling with Spike, like usual, and he told me
something wasn’t right. But we kept on going. Then this group of vampires
cut us off on the road and something about them set all of Spike’s alarms
off. He didn’t want to fight them; he thought we didn’t have a chance.
Anyway, he tried to talk our way out of there, but they seemed to be
prepared for us. Almost like they knew we were going to be there.”

Giles leaned forward, “Are you sure they were just vampires? They could have
been mercenaries.”

“Well, they could have been mercenaries, I mean, they were good with
weapons. Really good. Usually when I patrol, the vampires are slow and
stupid. These were definitely vamps that knew what they were doing.” She
gingerly touched her temple. “And…well, it seemed like they didn’t want me.
They were all swamping over Spike, like they wanted to take him out. But
every vampire wants a piece of me, right? I’m the Slayer. The leader
thrashed me around a bit and got me out of the picture, but other than
this-“ she pointed to her temple, which was bruising considerably, “I wasn’t
hurt.”

“Let me help you with that, Buffy,” Willow said. She gently sided Buffy’s
long damp hair to the side and winced at the nasty mark on her forehead. She
cast a quick healing spell and after a few moments the discoloration and
inflammation was gone.

“Thanks Will,” Buffy said sincerely.

Giles cleared his throat and the two friends turned to look at him, “If
these vampires were mercenaries that means that they must have been hired to
attack you.”

“Yeah, well there’s a lot of people that want to take me out. And since
Spike’s not exactly the Big Bad anymore, it would make sense that someone
would want to dust him. But who-“

“That’s what we need to find out.” The Watcher then turned to the two
witches, “You two can go on ahead to bed if you want. I’ll take it from
here.”

Noticing the subtle commanding tone in his voice, Willow and Tara nodded,
turning toward the stairs. Once they were gone, Giles leaned in closer to
Buffy, “What’s wrong?”

“You already know what’s wrong, Giles.” Buffy said, a confused look on her
face.

“I don’t mean that, Buffy,” he said in a quietly intense voice, “You can
tell me. We’ve known each other for a long time now and you already know you
can tell me anything. What happened, really?”

Hanging her head so her hair covered her face, she said quietly, “I
distracted him. It was my fault.”

“Buffy-“ he started, but she cut him off.

“No. There were seven of them. All of them were down except for one who had
a sword to my throat. But one of them wasn’t exactly dusty yet. He was
sneaking up behind Spike and I yelled at him to look out. When he turned and
took care of the other vampire the leader got in under his guard. And then
there was this – stake – sticking out of him…. and there was blood all over
the place….” Suddenly, she put a hand to her mouth, “Oh God…I think I’m
gonna throw up…” She jumped up from the couch and ran quickly to the
downstairs bathroom. Giles followed her and held back her hair as she
vomited the sandwich she had eaten so peacefully with Spike only a couple
hours ago.

“Ugh…” she groaned, spitting into the toilet. She sat backwards, hugging her
knees and shivering. Giles handed her a damp towel and she mopped her face
with it. Weakly, she looked back up at him, “Thanks. Sorry about all this.”

“Considering all the blood I saw on the porch and on you, I’m surprised it
took this long,” He squatted down and looked her in the eyes, “I’m sorry
about what I said about you and Angel…”

Buffy stared down at the bathroom floor and muttered an “It’s o kay.”

“But you must understand, Buffy. You and Spike-“

“Why are you so worried about this, Giles? You know I would never
even…consider being with him like that in any way. You don’t have to worry
about me. I’m a big girl. I haven’t forgotten Angel.”

Giles nodded. He stood up and held out his hand to the weak Slayer. She took
it and he helped her up. She balanced on shaky feet and he led her out of
the bathroom. She sank into the couch she had just come from and leaned
back, staring up at the ceiling. She wasn’t feeling well at all.

“Oh,” Giles said, desperate for a turn in conversation, “I forgot to tell
you. Anya and Xander will be having a celebration of their engagement in two
weeks.”

“Yeah, I think they told me about that…” Buffy groaned, leaning forward.

“You’re exhausted,” Giles said, “You need sleep.”

Buffy weakly nodded.

“Do you need any help with-“

“No, It’s okay. I can do it myself. Good night, Giles.”

“Good night, Buffy.”

Buffy trudged up the stairs and brushed her teeth to get the horrible taste
of bile from her mouth. With a shaky sigh, she walked back to her bedroom.

Spike was still fast asleep, turned on his side and curled into a fetal
position. He seemed so innocent and almost child-like. His pale skin
stretched over the high bones in his face and his cheeks were even more
sunken in than usual. His eyebrows were clenched together tightly as if he
still felt the pain of the awful wound.

Buffy winced inwardly. Would it have been only a couple years ago that she
would have laughed at his pain, even take him out of his misery? But now it
almost hurt to see the way his eyelids flickered and his body trembled as he
relived the horrid night in his dreams.

She knelt next to him and touched his forehead softly. She was supposed to
wake him up, give him a few good insults and go to bed. But she couldn’t.
She knew that sleep was the only way that she herself could escape reality.
When she slept, she was back in heaven. A beautiful place of warm shadows.
She knew she shouldn’t – correct that wouldn’t – give him what he really
wanted from her. But in that wonderful place where the world didn’t matter,
he could have his own heaven.

Spike’s shivering stopped as soon as she placed her hand on his face and she
gently caressed his cheek, as he visibly relaxed. His lips moved slowly as
they turned into a comforted smile.

“Buffy…”

“Shh….” Buffy whispered, gently running her hands through his soft hair,
“Sleep, Spike…”

~ …Don’t let it get too far. Spike’s freaky crush on you isn’t healthy. You
can’t let him have any ideas… ~

Willow’s words echoed through her head and Buffy shook her head. ‘Don’t give
him any ideas, Buffy. Even in sleep. It’s wrong.’

She removed her hand from his hair and his smile turned to a frown and his
head moved slowly from side to side, as if trying to find her. For a moment,
the absurd idea that she should crawl into bed with him flitted through her
head. She shook it off with a disgusted sigh.

‘Bad thoughts. Bad thoughts.’

It took her only a few minutes to set up the sleeping bag and place it on
the old worn mattress she took out of the storage closet. She shed her
slippers and slipped in under the covers, curling onto her side facing the
bed. Spike had stopped moving around in the bed and was still, his mind now
back into the recesses of deep sleep.

Feeling secure that he was all right and everything (yeah, right) was back
to normal, the Slayer let herself slip into sleep as well.

~

Sunday, November 11th 11:15 AM

Buffy’s eyes slowly opened and the world slowly came back to her. The
memories of last night invaded her mind, banishing her comforting dreams
away. She yawned slowly and sat up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and
smoothing out her hair. When she remembered about Spike, she turned toward
him to see if he was still asleep.

Spike was lying on his side, his intense blue eyes staring at her, a smile
evident on his lips.

“You look so pretty when you sleep.”

“Shut up, Spike.” Buffy got out of her sleeping bag and stood up, grabbing a
glass of water on the bedside table and taking a long sip to try and
distract herself from his stare.

“Santa Claus PJs?” Spike asked, his scarred eyebrow lifting up.

“What? Christmas is only in two months. What, did you think I slept naked?
And I can’t believe I just said that.”

Spike laughed softly and sat up, running a hand through his h air. “Do you
know how bleedin’ uncomfortable it is to sleep in jeans?”

Buffy was about to make a quite clever comeback when Spike groaned and
clutched his chest.

“Spike?” Buffy asked, coming up close to him and holding him up, her hands
on his shoulders. “You okay, there?”

“Bloody hell. Please tell me that last night was a nightmare…”

“Lie down,” Buffy gently pushed him onto the bed, “You need rest.”

Spike gently grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to him, until she was
almost on top of him. He closed his eyes for a moment when her soft
honey-coloured hair brushed his face.

“Spike, what are you do-“

“I had a horrible dream,” Spike whispered, looking up at her, “The vampires
attacked us just like last night, but only…only when I was fighting, I heard
you screaming…and when I turned around to find you, you were…”

“Spike…don’t.”

He was either so caught up in his memories or he ignored her because he
continued, “I tried to save you…I really did…and I was holding you and
trying to make your heart beat…and your eyes opened and you were alive and I
was so happy…” Tears were forming at the corners of his eyes but he didn’t
bother to fight them off.

Spike reached up with his other hand and gently stroked her cheek,“You
smiled at me and touched my face but…. then you closed your eyes again…and
you were gone…”

“Spike…it’s okay,” Buffy said, shocked and strangely terrified at the same
time, “It was just a dream. It wasn’t real. I’m still here.”

Despite the responsible voice in her head telling her to get out of the room
now, she brushed the tears from his face and gently told him, “You’re hurt,
Spike. You need sleep.”

“I don’t want to sleep.” Spike said softly, taking her hand with his, “I
don’t want to go back to that place. I want to stay here with you.”

The tension between the two of them was intense and Buffy wrestled herself
from his gaze and sat up suddenly, sitting on the edge of the bed. She was
shaking for some reason and she willed herself to stop. She didn’t look back
at Spike, she wouldn’t. Those eyes could see through her like glass and she
didn’t want him to see her like this. She heard the sound of him sitting
back up on the bed. An awkward silence carried on for a while.

“I had a stake sticking through me…” Spike’s voice was strangely distant as
he said the words as if he was back in the cemetery. He shuddered and curled
forward with his arms wrapped around his stomach. “Bleedin’ hell, I never
want to feel that again.”

Buffy swallowed some of her pride and turned to him, “You won’t, not if I
can help it. Anyway, we got the stupid wankers so you don’t have to worry.”

Spike smiled again, his eyes twinkling, “You are picking up my mannerisms,
pet. Hanging around the Big Bad too much?”

“Like you mind.” Buffy chuckled, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her
ear.

They stayed silent again for a moment, but this time Buffy started the
conversation again, turning to him, her face and tone serious, “Spike, I
know you like to think yourself as my protector. Well, you kinda are…but
we’re sorta…partners in a way, right?”

Spike nodded, looking confused, “Yeah, luv…”

“That means we watch each other’s backs. So that makes me just as much as
your protector as you are mine…” She cleared her throat. She had never
expected it would be so hard to say these words to him, “Anyway, you’re a
good fighter and I don’t mind you being around…. I have a lot of time,
energy and money invested in you. And people have to protect their
investments…yeah.”

He smiled and shook his head, “Always have an angle, doncha luv?”

“What angle?” Buffy asked. She looked furiously at the floor, “It’s
true…Aargh! Fine! What I’m trying to say in literal terms is…you’re very
important to me and I don’t want to lose you. There, I said it.”

Spike’s grin widened and his eyes twinkled, “Aww…as the itty bitty Slayer
gone soft for the Big Bad?”

“Shut up, Spike. And you will stay shut up or you won’t get any breakfast.”

“Fine, luv. But only because I’m starving.”

“I think I have some blood in the fridge,” Buffy frowned and picked a clot
of dried blood from the vampire’s hair, “I’ll go downstairs and you should
get cleaned up. Take a shower or something, k? You know where the bathroom
is.”

“Righto, I’ll just stand up-“ Spike moaned as he sat up and leaned against
the bedpost for support. The world spun around him as he waited for his head
to settle. “I feel as weak as a kitten…”

“You lost a lot of blood,” Buffy told him, going to his side and helping to
support him. He muttered a thank you and she helped him wander to the
bathroom.

“You know, pet,” Spike said, that familiar twinge in his voice again, “I
don’t think I’m strong enough to bathe myself. I think I might need some
help…”

“Oh, all right then,” Buffy answered but then raised her head to shout,
“XANDER!”

“Fine! Fine! I don’t need any bleedin’ help, okay?” Spike growled as they
reached the bathroom door, “I’ll be out in a minute, Slayer.”

Buffy rolled her eyes and lightly walked down the stairs to the kitchen.
Dawn, Tara and Willow were seated at the table, just starting on their
french toast. The two witches were already dressed, they were probably going
out soon, but her little sister still was in her PJs.

“Mmmmm…” Buffy said, “Got any more of that for me?”

“Yeah,” Willow said, pointing to the oven, “I kept them warm in the oven for
you.”

Dawn turned around, her dark hair swishing around her shoulders, “Is Spike
okay?”

“He’s just fine, Dawn. The vampire’s just taking a shower. He’ll be down in
a couple minutes. We still have some left over blood?”

“You know you’re the sister of a Slayer when...” Dawn said sarcastically.

Buffy took the cup of blood out of the fridge and put it in the microwave
for 1 minute. She took a plate out of the cabinet and opened the oven,
putting three french toast slices on it.

“I see her appetite hasn’t been affected,” Tara noted to the others. Willow
shushed her and picked up her knife and fork. The others started eating as
well.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, Buffy,” Tara said, putting down her fork, “Xander
called this morning.”

“Well? What did he find?” Buffy asked.

“You’re not going to like this,” the fair Wicca answered, “Xander and Anya
couldn’t find any trace of your little vampire friends.”

“What?” Buffy asked, “No weapons? No piles of dust? That’s weird…but it
happened? I was there!”

“What happened, luv?” Spike asked, coming down the stairs. He was wearing
the same jeans but was wearing a large red sweater Giles had left over for
him to wear. Despite that, he looked freshly washed with his hair still
damp. The scars he had received last night were almost finished healing.
“Bloody hell, does any man that you know have good fashion sense?”

Dawn jumped up, throwing her arms around his waist and hugging him, “Spike!”

“‘Ello there, nibblet,” he gasped, “Not quite so hard, huh?” She loosened
her hold and he embraced the small girl back while giving her a fond smile.

When Dawn finally released him and went back to her breakfast, the vampire
turned to the two Wiccans, “I remember you healed me, right? Good work,
then. I feel as good as new.”

“I’m just glad Buffy was close enough to the house to get here in time,”
Tara answered, giving him a brief smile.

The ringing of a microwave filled the air and Spike went to get his blood.
He ate it in the kitchen because he knew how disgusted the others would be
by it. When he finished, he found an empty seat at the table and sat down.

“Now, wot happened ‘ere while I was gone?” he asked.

“Xander couldn’t find any trace of the vampires who attacked y ou.” Tara
said once again.

“They couldn’t find anything? No dust? No blood? Nothing?” Spike asked.

Tara shook her head, “They did find the place where you were attacked. The
entire area was scorched clean.”

“But that’s impossible!” Buffy said, “None of the vampires knew any spells
and we certainly didn’t light anything on fire.”

“Then someone probably did it after the attack. They obviously wanted to
cover it up.” Tara surmised.

“Cover what up?” Dawn asked, looking up from her plate.

“The attack,” Buffy said patiently, “We all think someone hired those
vampires to attack Spike and me.”

“Oh, and who would want to do that?” her little sister asked again.

“Only every member of the undead slash demon population of Sunnydale,” Spike
said, “We just get to be the lucky ones and find out who.”

“Well, is there anyone you’ve managed to piss off lately?” Dawn asked
blatantly.

“Dawn! Language!” Buffy gasped.

“Yeah, whatever, Miss I’m-A-Good-Christian-Girl,” Dawn said, while Spike
chuckled in the background.

“It’s a good question, Buffy,” Willow said.

“Of course I haven’t!” Buffy said indignantly, “Well…the usual. A demon or
two perhaps, but that’s all!”

“Well, here’s another good question,” Willow interrupted, “Why were they
sent after you? Did they want to kill you or just capture you for
something?”

“Well, I’ll tell you one thing, Red,” Spike said, “They seem pretty bloody
interested in the Slayer.”

“That’s exactly what we talked about last night with Giles, remember
Willow?” Buffy said, “They all ganged up on Spike and tried to keep me out
of all the action.”

Spike growled. “So what you’re saying is that they may have been hired to
stake me and catch you?” The Slayer nodded and the vampire’s face hardened,
“Well, I’ve got a couple things to say about that. When we find out who did
this, the Big Bad’s going to have a nice little talk with them.”

Everyone ate in silence for a few minutes, even Buffy who was
uncharacteristically restrained in her eating. Suddenly, Tara looked up.

“Names.”

“Huh?” Buffy and Spike said in unison.

“Did you hear any of them say names? Maybe if we knew who they were, we
might be able to find out who we’re dealing with.

Spike shook his head, “Sorry, luv. Too busy trying not to be a big pile of
dust.”

“I did,” Buffy nodded her head, “Radon and Petra.”

“Radon?” Spike gasped. Everyone turned to look at him.

“You know him?” Tara asked.

“I know of him,” Spike answered, “I’ve only heard about him though. He used
to be a hero, sort of like a male Slayer. Saving the world and what not. He
was around when I was just becoming a vampire, I remember Angelus telling me
stories about him. He was eventually turned into one of us. He was the one
with the black hair, right?”

“Yeah.” Buffy shuddered as she remembered his worn and cruel face.

“He was good. Not as good as me, mind you. But good all the same.”

“Do you know what he’s been doing since he was turned, Spike?” Buffy asked.

“I’m not sure, really. I didn’t learn much about him after he was turned. I
guess he killed and tortured people, the usual. He could have become a
mercenary.”

“Just to show you that people change,” Dawn said, still toying with her
food, “Sometimes for the best, sometimes for the worse.”

This strange bit of wisdom silenced the rest of the group, and they ate the
rest of their meal in silence.