Chapter 15

The sound of fighting drove through Xander's unconscious mind, pulling him back into the world. He tried to open his eyes but the pain in his head refused his first attempts. Squeezing his eyes tighter together, Xander brought his hand to his head and was surprised to feel something weighing his arm down. He cracked an eye open and peered to the lump to the left of him. It only took a second to recognize the blonde hair and bloodstained blouse.

"Oh my God, Anya!" he yelled, his voice saturated in panic. Ignoring the pain of his own limbs, Xander gathered the limp Anya into his arms and cradled her in his lap as tears poured from his brown eyes. "Anya, baby," Xander cried as he rocked back and forth. "Sweetie, wake up. Please wake up." His freehand stroked her cheek as he pleaded her to awaken. Finally, her eyes fluttered and he smiled when he saw the light shine from her eyes.

"Xander?" She managed though her voice was extremely weak.

"Yeah baby? It's me." Her eyes traveled over his upper body before settling back onto his face.

"You…you're not dead."

"No, honey, I'm not. Thanks to you."

"Good," she replied, "That would have sucked. I…I love you too much for you to di…" But she never finished and Xander watched, horrified, as her head lolled to the side and the gleam in her eyes dimmed until there was no light in them.

"Ahn?" Xander choked out as the fear clawed its way into his chest as he shook her. Gaining no response, he jarred his fiancée harder all the while screaming her name to no avail.

"Anya," Xander sobbed and he reached a shaky hand towards her neck. He hoped he was wrong and that this would prove it but as his fingers settled on her neck, the truth slammed into him and his whole world crumbled.

Anya's hair wasn't enough to muffle the sobs of a man who had just lost the love of his life.

***

"That all you got, Spoike?" Seth goaded after Spike landed a punch that sent him to the floor. In truth, Seth had been surprised when he felt himself being hoisted off the ground and thrown through the air. One minute, he was talking to Emerald, making sure she was okay and the next minute his back slammed through a table. The rage he felt quickly simmered once he saw the murder written across Spike's eyes and Seth smiled, knowing that this was going to be one hell of a fight.

"Hardly, mate," the Brit responded, game face in tact. He threw a kick at the downed vampire but Seth caught it and pushed Spike back. He barely had time to catch his balance before Seth's shoulder smashed into his gut and they both feel to the floor, the younger, more powerful vampire gaining the advantage.

"Well," he said as he rammed a fist into Spike's face, "this was disappointing." Seth's follow-up punch connected but before he could pull it back, Spike's hand shot up, latching onto his forearm in a vice-like grip.

"It would be," Spike quipped as he used Seth's momentum to throw him off of Spike. The two vampires rolled to their feet in opposite directions, their eyes glistening with the call of the demon within.

Spike was the first to react. Taking two steps, he sailed through the air and his heel caught Seth in the chest, staggering him. Not wasting any time, Spike spun around and his elbow slammed into the other vamp's jaw. A punch to the ribcage and a kick to the knee followed the elbow and Spike cocked his fist back, ready to deliver another blow but he never got the chance.

With a speed that Spike had only seen with Glory, Seth's hands wrapped around other vampire's neck and slammed him into a pillar. The impact jarred Spike enough to knock his demonic visage away and he struggled to focus on the crimson and gold eyes that smiled at him with the promise of pain beyond comprehension.

"Now," the demon sing-songed, laughing at Spike's useless struggles, "like I said; this was disappointing. I mean, here I thought that the Big-Bad daddy would give more of an effort to regain his baby girl's virtue. Tsk, tsk, William. You are such a disappointment. After all the things I did to lil' miss Faith and this is the best effort you could give me? Pathetic." His eyes rolled over Spike, taking everything in before he leaned towards the struggling vampire. "You know, I'm thinking that if you fight this badly, there's no way in hell that little pecker of yours can satisfy that sweet little misses of yours." Seth winced when Spike's nails tore into his arms but he didn’t relinquish his grip. Instead, he pressed his thumbs even harder into Spike's Adam's apple and the peroxide blonde's eyes widened at the feel of his larynx being crushed.

"Now that wasn't nice, now was it?" Seth mockingly scolded. "Thought you would learn your lesson by now, boy. Don’t fuck with the big dogs." Seth smiled and Spike watched in horror as Seth's teeth lengthened and his face contorted to reveal the demon underneath.

Spike tried to bring a knee between them but Seth crushed his body to Spike's, preventing any movement. Spike's arms still dug into the other vamp's flesh though the pain of his throat being compacted was robbing him of all strength. But just as his eyes fluttered close, they opened when he fell bonelessly to the ground. He barely had time to put his arms down to cushion the fall. Unneeded breaths attempted to circumvent his partially crushed throat to no avail and Spike knew it would take some time for this injury to heal but there were more pressing matters to attend to.

As he lifted his head up, he saw the stunned Seth getting to his feet. But Spike ignored him for the moment as he took in the most breathtaking woman he had ever seen.

Buffy stood there, her mangled arm clutched tightly to her chest while the other held a thick wooden table leg whose end was spattered with blood. Her face was swollen and covered with blood and marred by several deep gashes but Spike couldn’t help but smile at his beautiful savior.

Buffy was staring intently at Seth who struggled to his feet. She chanced a look at Spike and saw the love radiating from his cerulean eyes even now. She smiled even though the gesture produced a blanket of pain across her face. She scowled when she saw the obvious indentations left in his throat and took a step over towards him. He waved her off and stood on unsteady feet. He made no comments and Buffy knew he couldn’t talk or else he would have spat out a cocky rejoinder. Instead, he morphed into game face and pointed at the now smirking Seth.

"Oh," he said to the two blondes now staring him down, "so the two lovebirds are gonna double-team me?"

"You should have listened to your own advice, Seth," Buffy gritted through clinched teeth.

"And what would that be, buttercup?"

"Don't fuck with the big dogs," and with that, she and Spike attacked.

***

Faith grinned drunkenly when Spike hurled Seth through the air and she cringed excitedly when his body crashed through the table. That's it Daddy, she thought as she got to her feet. She was surprised at the strength in her legs and only swayed when a wave of lightheadedness washed over her. It quickly dissipated, however, and she risked a glance at her attire.

Her thin blouse had been ripped to shreds and she couldn’t fathom why it still clung to her. She absently tore it away and grimaced as the motion caused the slashes and bruises in her back to ignite with an animalistic ferocity.

"That didn’t feel too good," she muttered and dropped the tattered remains of Buffy’s shirt to the floor. Her breasts were uncovered and she huddled herself inside of her father’s duster to conceal her nudity. Memories of happier times crawled into her mind. Anytime she was afraid, Spike would envelop her little body into his duster and she would be lost in the scent of it-the scent that was almost as good as her own daddy’s protective embrace. A small tear trickled down her cheek at the memories and she smiled fondly at the warmth the duster provided even now.

So lost in her memories, she failed to hear the two Jct’ars as they awoke behind her. The leader shook its head, purple eyes re-focusing after the wave of power that had rendered it unconscious. It glanced over at the remaining Triumph member and nodded as both their eyes found the unsuspecting slayer as she watched the other two blondes fight Seth.

With a stealth born of years of combat, both Jct’ars rose to their feet and silently stalked over to the unsuspecting girl. The leader communicated with its soldier with unspoken commands and, obeying orders, the latter reared back a spiked fist and hurled it at the head of the slayer.

The Jct’ar blinked in surprise when its fist swam through empty air. The surprise only lasted a moment before the air was driven from its lungs by a crippling body shot.

"Now that just wasn’t nice," Faith stared down at the Jct’ar, hands on her hips, oblivious to her breast peaking out from the confines of the black duster. "Sneaking up on a girl like that? You two should be ashamed." She smiled wickedly and, before the leader could react, used the downed Jct’ar as a springboard and launched herself at the wide-eyed leader. Her feet landed squarely in its chest, knocking the seven-foot demon to its back. She turned with a dancer’s grace and landed an axe kick in the neck of the still heaving demon, the sick crunch of bone and limp body of the Jct’ar let her know that it would be causing no more trouble.

"Now for Mr. General," she quipped and turned to the leader and saw the fist flying towards her face. She barely had time to dodge the punch and winced with it grazed her jaw, cutting into her flesh. Faith rolled away but quickly got to her feet, hiding her surprise when the Jct’ar launched another attack. Its booted heel sliced through the air, intent on snapping her neck.

Faith shot to her feet, grunting when the kick slammed into her side. Her arm took the brunt of the attack and it flopped loosely at her side, crippled. She had no time for concern about the injury as the Jct’ar threw a barrage of kicks and punches at her, all of which she narrowly avoided.

The demon, frustrated at the slayer’s speed, feinted a left hook and pulled back when she reacted. It did not hesitate and spun around, whipping its left leg into an arch that connected with the back of Faith’s knees and the slayer went down in a heap. Her head cracked against the floor and stars flooded her vision. She pushed away the nausea that swam in her gut and motioned to get up but before she could, two powerful hands held her wrists down and a giant body straddled her waist.

Faith cried out as pain lanced through her injured arm and the Jct’ar smiled at her, a hideous grin of jagged teeth and sadistic eyes. She knew what was coming as its thick tongue ran along the edges of its teeth and it was oblivious to the cuts that permeated the organ. All it saw was the delicious flesh of the slayer and the anticipation that coursed within at the prospect of taking her life. Not one to waste the moment, however, the Jct’ar slowly lowered its head down.

Faith tried in vain to buck the burly creature from atop of her without success. Though the feeling was returning to her arm, it was far from full strength. Coupled with the toll of the earlier fighting and Faith knew she was in a spot of trouble. And this time Spike wouldn’t be able to save her.

She wrinkled her nose as the putrid breath of the Jct’ar caressed her face as its teeth came closer. Faith’s heart rate increased as the demon lowered its neck and she had to resist the urge to close her eyes. She tried to pull her head away but the floor wouldn’t allow any movement. If she wanted to move her head, the only place was up…

"Oh God," she thought and rolled her eyes, "this is gonna hurt like a bloody bitch," she swore before she smashed her forehead into the Jct’ar’s gaping mouth.

Both combatants screamed; the Jct’ar from the sickening sensation of having most of its teeth driven into its jaws and down its throat while Faith howled as the remaining teeth sliced into her flesh, some even embedding into her skin. But that didn’t stop her from repeatedly head-butting the Jct’ar several more times until its hands went up to protect its bloodied face.

Wasting no time, Faith’s left hand slammed into the creature’s jaw and she simultaneously rolled her hips and bucked the creature off of her. She stood, her vision marred with her own blood mixed with the Jct’ar’s. She wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of the duster, wincing as some of the teeth stuck into her flesh were ripped out. Shaking the pain away, she concentrated on the slowly rising, heavily enraged demon.

"Whassa matter?" She asked innocently as the demon gurgled in attempts to speak. "Cat got your tongue? Oh, I forgot, I just smashed your teeth down that ugly ass gullet of yours." She smiled apologetically and that only angered the Jct’ar even further.

With a final snarl, the Jct’ar charged, its remaining fangs bared and arms outstretched. Faith smirked at the beast’s recklessness before sidestepping its attack and countering with a spin kick to the back of its head and the creature tumbled to the ground. The crack of bone let her know that she had fractured its skull but that wouldn’t be enough. Without hesitation, she pounced on it and, taking its head in her hands, jerked it sharply to the left, sighing at the satisfying pop of its now broken neck.

Standing slowly, Faith stretched her arms to the sky but turned at the blood-curdling howl behind her. It only took a moment to locate the source of the scream.

Not fifty feet from her was her father, slumped to his knees, holding an unconscious Buffy in his arms. His face and chest was covered in blood and even before she saw the wooden pike sticking out of her mother’s back, she knew it wasn’t Spike’s blood.

"Oh my God," she whispered before making a mad dash towards her parents.

***

Spike and Buffy were a perfectly coordinated team, attacking Seth mercilessly from either side. They required no communication and even to their adversary, slayer and vampire fought as an extension of one. If it were a fair fight, Seth would have been concerned for they attacked with a viciousness rarely seen in demons from even the worst hell dimensions. But it wasn’t a fair fight. Buffy had the use of only one arm and Spike's crushed larynx as well as other various injuries between the two hampered them greatly. Still, it was a very entertaining fight for Seth.

"Whoa," he whistled as Buffy narrowly missed him with another swing of her makeshift club. "Almost got me there. Ummphh!" Seth grunted when Spike connected with a round kick to his kidney. Buffy followed up with a kick of her own but Seth reacted faster than she expected and sent her sprawling to the ground with a leg whip as her kick sailed over his head.

Seth smiled and started to brag but a right cross from the Brit prevented any such discourse.

"Good shot," he admitted to Spike as they both began bouncing on the balls of their feet. Seth made the first move, feinting a takedown and when Spike jumped back, he pounced on Buffy, landing a hard knee to her solo plexus that drove the air from her lungs.

Spike tried to call Buffy's name but it came out as a hoarse whisper. His eyes held all the fury and rage of both demon and man and he charged the other vampire.

Seth smiled at Spike charged him. He had inconspicuously picked up Buffy's weapon and patiently waited until Spike was right…there.

The club whistled through the air and Spike barely had time to put up his arm to block the strike. He roared as the wood snapped in half and a six-inch splinter impaled his bicep. Seth used the distraction to his advantage, ripping into Spike with an uppercut that sent the former Big Bad careening backwards.

Spike shook his head to clear out the cobwebs but they refused to leave. He used the pillar behind him to help himself stand. He saw the hazy image of Seth a few feet in front of him, tossing a sharp slab of wood from hand to hand.

"Hmmm," Seth murmured. "Now I was never too good at darts, with those damn bulls' eye so small. But then again, darts usually aren't quite as big as this here projectile I know hold in my hand. So Spike, do you think I can hit the bulls' eye this time? What? Didn’t hear what you said over that gurgling of yours. Well, since you aren't gonna say anything, I guess I'll have to see for myself." And with that, Seth cocked back his arm and hurled the wooden spear at Spike, oblivious to the blonde streak that cut in front of the battered vampire.

"No!" Buffy yelled when she saw Seth pull back his arm. Without preamble, Buffy reacted. She sprang to her feet in an instant and ran towards her dazed lover. In two long strides, she was almost there when she caught Seth release the projectile on a course to turn Spike to dust. In a final gasp, the slayer pushed off on both feet and flung herself into Spike's unsuspecting arms.

Spike stared down at Buffy and smiled despite the situation at the love he saw in her eyes and her relieved smile. But her smile quickly transformed into a twisted scowl of pain and Spike looked down. There, protruding from her chest and only an inch from obliterating him, was the jagged piece of wood that Seth had broken over his arm moments earlier.

"Bu…Buffy?" Spike choked out and tears pooled in his eyes, a direct reflection of her own hazel eyes.

"Spike…" She choked out and blood spilled from her lips. "Spike…I love…I love you…" she finished before collapsing to the ground, wrapped in Spike's protective embrace.

***

Giles slowly climbed out of the blackness that swam before his eyes and was greeted by the muted lighting of the Bronze. His head was pounding and a weariness filtered through to his bones. For some odd reason, however, it didn’t hamper him from sitting up or surveying the scene before him; a scene his mind would never forget.

He watched as Faith ran towards three blonde heads, two of which were Buffy and Spike. He gasped when he saw a blood covered stump sticking out of Buffy's chest as Spike held her and his mind was inundated by his own grief and that of the vampire.

Determined to help, Giles got to his feet and moved towards his weapon bag. His limbs froze as he saw the unconscious Willow, helpless as the vile warlock caressed her unmoving body. Giles knew what Rack was doing as the fizzle of energy rushed into his palm from Willow. Anger clouded the Watcher's eyes and, for the moment, he realized that he could offer more help to Willow than the others.

Stalking with a purpose, the Brit reached a hand out to throttle the warlock before a boot smacked Rack in the head.

"Stay the hell away from her!" Tara seethed and bent down towards the now convulsing redhead. Giles blinked, momentarily stunned at Tara's appearance and the anger that radiated from her. Watching Tara cuddle Willow in her arms and Rack laughing mirthlessly as he wiped the blood from his lips, fueled the darkness within Giles and, in seconds, his transformation into Ripper was complete.

"Well, well," Rack teased and attempted to get up but a sharp kick to the ribs sent him back down.

"You bastard," Giles cursed and kicked the stunned man again. Wanting to deliver a more personal assault, Ripper knelt down and grabbed Rack by the collar. He slammed his fist several times into the dazed man's face before an unseen force hurled him into the air a crashing into a table.

Giles screamed as he felt a jagged piece of wood skewer him. He looked down at his leg and saw that a thick splinter from the table had entered from the back of his leg and protruded out from his thigh. It took a moment for the pain to truly set in but when it did, it was nearly unbearable. Tara's heart rending scream tore through the haze of pain and Giles looked up just in time to watch the blonde witch fly through the air and into the wall, a sickening crack signifying severe injuries as she slumped to the ground.

"That was just too easy," Rack quipped as he watched Tara's body slide down the wall, a trail of blood smearing the wall where her head had cracked against it. Though he wasn’t sure, he assumed that, from the force she hit it with, she was dead.

"Too bad. I would have loved to taste her, too." His black eyes fell to the semi-conscious Willow and his grin widened. "Guess I'll just have to make do with my sweet, sweet strawberry," he finished and dragged his knuckles across Willow's face.

"No," Giles said and Rack looked up just in time to watch the ax slice through the air before there was nothing.

"You won't," Giles finished as he watched the warlock's head roll away before his headless body crumpled to the ground.

"Giles," Willow whimpered, her energy drained from the ritual as well as Rack's 'feeding'.

The Watcher dropped the ax and his injured leg gave way. He fell to the ground, narrowly avoiding Willow. He managed to sit up and rest her head on his uninjured leg as the pain and blood loss threatened to send him back into oblivion.

"Giles," the red head repeated, "what's going on?"

Giles remained silent and his eyes studied Tara's unconscious form. He saw the telltale movement of her chest and sighed, knowing that she was alive. Against his wishes, he then turned towards his downed slayer. She and Spike were in the same position and Faith battled Seth across the Bronze. He closed his eyes but caught a flicker of…what was that?

There! Walking towards the dueling combatants was Dawn--was it Dawn? --Her long, black hair halfway down her naked back. She was surrounded by a pulsating emerald glow and Giles hung his head, knowing that the counter spell had never been completed. Tears clouded his vision as he faced the shaking Willow. What could he tell her? That Tara was seriously injured, maybe dying? That Xander and Anya were nowhere to be seen in the pile of bodies lining the floor? Or that a virtual two-by-four protruded from Buffy's chest? That Dawn was now gone, replaced by an ultimate Evil?

"It's quite simple, really," he said, his voice calm despite the grief threatening to overpower him. "We failed." And with that, he usual calm reserve broke and Rupert Giles sobbed.

***

When she had turned sixteen, Faith knew she had been stronger than her parents, in speed and strength and though she won many of the sparring matches with them, the times where they really fought her, she was always picking her butt and pride off the floor. She had always thought that it was their decades of experience that had refined their technique and though that was a part of it, it wasn’t the primary reason. Spike and Buffy contained something primal within them that Faith had a difficult time grasping. She knew that her dad carried a demon’s spirit within him, so the rage he sometimes let loose was understandable-but her mother-there was no demon within Buffy yet she also fought with an equal viciousness. They had tried to explain it to her once but she had not understood.

Now she did.

Faith fought with a ferocity she had never known she possessed. Despite her injuries, every kick, every punch, was thrown with lethal intent and, for the first time she saw concern in Seth’s eyes.

The first minute of fighting had been more or less a feeling out process and Seth attacked and defended with a smirk etched on his face. He had quipped and teased her about their ‘time’ together and several times she allowed herself to be distracted and Seth had landed several shots that had drawn blood. It was only when he had commented on Buffy’s current condition and what he wanted to do with her mother that the vampire saw a Faith he had never seen.

The speed and crispness of her moves were beyond any of his previous opponents and the force behind her blows were staggering. She attacked relentlessly, full tilt Seth was amazed at her even breathing despite her exertion.

One especially powerful blow sent him into a wall and he felt the plaster from the ceiling rain on his head. He had been fighting without his demon raised then and knew it was time to call forth his true beast. The pain was unbearable as his bones and skin shifted but it had lasted merely seconds before she was upon him, not once hesitating at his new appearance.

Ducking a right cross, Seth countered by slashing at her midriff. Faith wasn’t quick enough to dodge the attack and she winced when the razor sharp talons bit into her flesh. But she didn’t stop to gauge the wound and instead, shot out her right foot, catching Seth in the gut.

Seth doubled over at the impact of Faith’s heel into his stomach but he quickly recovered. He rolled to his right when she tried to follow up with a round kick to his exposed head. He heard the whoosh of her foot as he narrowly avoided it. He pounced off the ground, his heel slicing the air, connecting solidly with her shoulder and the slayer careened to the floor. The blonde vampire smiled, thinking the advantage was his and he charged for the kill.

Through her focused mind, Faith recognized her big bruise of a body. Once the fight was over, she knew she was going to hurt everywhere for several days, accelerated healing or not, but it would be worth it to send her past tormentor to hell.

Course I better get my ass up if I wanna do that¸ she thought. She sensed Seth’s approach and waited to the last second before pushing up with her hands and whipping her feet behind her. She felt the hard crack of heel against chin as she completed the front handstand. She whirled around before her feet were set and, planting her left foot, jumped in the air and extending her right foot, grazed the dazed Seth across his jaw. She followed up immediately with a spinning sidekick that crushed the demon’s noise and his animalistic howl tore into her ears.

"Bitch!" he spat, wiping the blood from his face. Seth was angered beyond words at this wisp of a woman delivering blows of unparalleled power into his face. He had been hurt seriously many times before but those were due to his own careless mistakes. It was not the case here. He had done everything right and knew his moves and counters had been flawless. Faith was just one move ahead of him and he wasn’t sure what to do. For the first time in his life, Seth knew he was against a better fighter.

"What can I say, Sethie boy," Faith said snarkly, "guess you’re just not quite as good as you thought you were." She smiled arrogantly at the demon and that, more than her words, sent him into a berserker rage and he attacked.

Shit, Faith thought to herself as Seth slashed at her repeatedly with his razor talons. She had been silent the duration of the fight, concentrating on her actions more than her words but she couldn’t resist throwing that barb when she saw in Seth’s eyes the look of one who realizes he’s fighting a superior opponent.

Don’t know how long this superiority will last, she thought as she ducked another vicious swipe. Though Seth was telegraphing some of his attacks, his sheer speed made it almost impossible to counter. The leather duster had taken the brunt of the attacks and it was shredded in several parts. That alone made her mad, considering how much it meant to her and her dad but she kept a level head, waiting for an opening.

Gotcha! Faith smiled as Seth overextended on a left slash and Faith brought her leg up to execute a front kick. It was lucky she did that as Seth followed up his attempt with counter that even Faith couldn’t stop.

Using the momentum of his swing, the demon rotated his hips and brought his right hand around with the intention of gutting the slayer. His rage-filled attacks had been purposely brazen and he waited for her to gain confidence at his telegraphed moves. Sensing that she had, his right claw slashed out but instead of cutting her open at the stomach, it tore into her right leg.

Faith screamed as she felt Seth’s claws shredded muscle, tendon and cartilage from her mid thigh to her knee. The pain was dizzying as her kneecap was sliced in half and her leg collapsed under her. She had wherewithal, however, to catch his booted heel aimed at her face with her left hand before smashing her palm into his shinbone and his shattered bone sounded off in the air like a shotgun.

"Fuck!" Seth screamed as he fell to the ground, clutching his broken right leg. Though his attack had been meant to kill, he knew immediately the damage to her leg was extensive and even slayer powers would have trouble healing it. So he had gone for the coup de grace, not expecting her to be able to defend herself. She had, though, and now he was strewn out in front of her, both crippled though his was the decidedly less serious injury.

"Nice show, baby doll," He flirted as he pushed himself to one knee, his broken leg angled to the side of him. "But not enough," he slammed a palm into the girl’s lowered head, snapping her head back. Faith screamed again as her body twisted back on her leg and her severed kneecap poked further through the skin.

Stay awake, she scolded herself as the first wave of blackness crept up on her. She cried out again when a fist rammed into her exposed stomach and she rolled to the side, painfully aware of the mounting damage each movement did to her leg. She watched in horror as Seth rose to his feet, dragging his useless leg behind him. His smile was one of intense pain and impending victory as he hobbled over to an overturned table and snapped its leg off.

"Well, Bitlet," he taunted as he slowly made his way towards her. "It’s been a hoot. Never thought you had it in you, ya know? Best damn fight I’ve ever had. Actually, I thought you almost had me for a minute. Guess I underestimated myself," he finished and raised the makeshift spear over his head.

Faith watched in horror as Seth readied for the killing blow when something told her to look to her right. There he was, her daddy, holding something in his hand. Before she could discern what it was, he threw it at her and Faith barely had time to catch it before it hit her face. The cool silver blade alerted her to what it was and, without thinking Faith reacted even as Seth brought down the wooden table leg to impale her.

She rolled instinctively to her left and at the same time gripped the dagger by its hilt with the blade down. The wood slammed through the floor, catching the duster and Faith planted her right knee in the ground despite the pain and slashed into Seth’s wrist with the blade. He lost his grip on his weapon and Faith used that to her advantage.

Maintaining the momentum of her attack, she used her uninjured leg as a catapult and pushed off and somehow forced her injured leg to obey commands. It connected with the side of his neck with enough force to knock him off balance and put his weight on his injured leg.

Faith ignored the scream that filtered from the vampire’s throat as she landed on her knees. She slashed at him again and this time the knife bit into the sinewy tissue of his shoulder. She followed up by jabbing the knife into his chest and it tore through his sternum. She ripped it out before he could react and landed a right cross that spun his body halfway around. Faith pivoted on her knees one final time and sent the dagger home into Seth’s lower back.

Seth screamed as the knife severed his spinal cord and he fell to his face as all feeling in his lower body vanished. His vampiric visage melted back to his human features and he attempted to push himself up but Faith’s forearm in the back of his neck kept him pinned down. His body was on fire from Faith’s expert strikes and he had to smile at the woman’s viciousness.

"Looks like the tables have been turned," he conceded as she held him down, her pain filled breaths caressing his ear. "Congratulations, Faith. You’ve beat the bad guy. Big smiles all around."

"I won’t smile until you’re dust," she spat through gritted teeth. She was exhausted and she knew his injuries were the only thing keeping him down. Her own wounds sizzled and threatened to deliver her into the peaceful realm of unconsciousness. But she couldn’t-not until Seth was dead.

"Sorry little lady," he snorted through the pain, "but you know the rules. Sethie boy here can’t die. And considering that my baby Em is on the way over, you lose."

At the mention of Emerald, Faith looked behind her and saw the figure lined in a green effervescent glow that walked toward them. She marveled at the perfect features of her once aunt before shivering in fear at the blackness that clouded Emerald’s eyes. She scrambled backward on her elbows, ignorant of the pain in her body and instead afraid for the carnage that the people of the world would experience if this truly were the First Evil throughout.

"My God," Faith whispered as Emerald stopped just a foot away.

"Not quite," she smiled at Faith and the slayer couldn’t detect any type of malice in the smile.

"God’s overrated," Seth quipped and he grunted when he pulled the knife from his back and pushed himself over. "But you aren’t baby, are you?" Faith studied the look that passed between Emerald and Seth and was surprised at the love evident between them. She couldn’t fathom the idea that a beast such as the one that violated her for months could ever look at someone with the adoration that Seth now looked at Emerald with. It was even more difficult to comprehend the affection that Emerald obviously held for Seth as she knelt down and caressed the vampire’s bare chest.

"You’re hurt," she said, the worry plain in her voice.

"Yeah, but it’s nothing a little Emerald love can’t handle." His smile broadened when Emerald smiled back though he noted the sadness in it. "Em, what’s wrong?" he asked and caressed her cheek, the world around them forgotten.

"I tried so hard, Seth, to get you away from all the killing on the streets. I knew that, sooner or later, as tough as you were, a bullet would have found you." On his look, Emerald nodded, "Yes, I remember everything, even things that haven’t happened yet." She stroked his bloodied cheek with the palm of her hand before leaning in and kissing him passionately on the lips.

"Wow," he said when she pulled away. "What?" He said when he saw the tears trailing down her cheeks.

"It’s just that, after everything I did, you still ended up being swallowed by the darkness. I mean, I knew you would never be an angel but…" she sighed as Seth ran a hand through her hair.

"But what?" The pain in his body had now taken a backseat to his concern for his lover.

"It’s my fault, Seth. It was my selfishness that caused this."

"What do you mean ‘your selfishness’?"

"I knew I could never stay with you, that I would have to go back to Gabriel. I also knew that he would somehow find out about you and when he did, he would kill you for having me." On Seth’s dark look, she patted him on the cheek. "Don’t worry, it was always you that I loved. Gabriel and I…it was more a relationship built upon the power we both contained. It was the Evil in me that had been drawn to him and we had a bond that wasn’t of a romantic sort.

"But I knew, that despite that, he would kill you for taking his 'portal opener' from him. And I couldn’t…couldn’t let you die. By his hand or any other. That’s why I Marked you."

"Wha…?" Seth asked, wide-eyed. He had always thought that the gift Gabriel had bestowed upon him was what prevented him from dying. Evidently that was not the case and his right hand absently fingered the hand mark that had been branded into his flesh.

"I knew that, with my powers, I could prevent you from dying but that wouldn’t mean Gabriel wouldn’t do other things to you. So I tied your life to his, though he didn’t know it was me that did that. I told him that by giving you his Gift, he would never die as long as you lived. It was an…irresistible offer even for someone as powerful as he was."

"So what are you so sad for?" he questioned, still confused at what he was hearing.

"The Mark. It gave you autonomy to wreck havoc on anything and everything without fear of death. I knew that when you were infested with the demon of the vampire that near omnipotence would cause you to take many lives but I had convinced myself that Gabriel’s plans only concerned the demon world and that, as his chief lieutenant, you would only slaughter demons. So I turned a blind eye towards the obvious bloodlust for humans you would feel. I justified it by saying even if you were stopped, Gabriel would slaughter the people anyway." She chuckled. "I know; I’m supposed to be this all-powerful One and yet my mind was ruled by the affairs of the heart. The emotions and feelings of the sixteen-year-old Dawn that was still inside of me. That part of me saw you like I saw Spike; I looked past the killer and to the man that you could have been-the man that you can still be."

"Still not following you…" But she silenced him with another kiss.

"I love you, Seth. I truly love you."

"I love you, too, Em," Seth replied. He looked down as her hand caressed the Mark she had bestowed upon him all those years ago. When their eyes met again, he was stunned at the loss that permeated through her black orbs.

"You know, that the only person that can remove the Mark is the one who gave it." The sadness of her voice finally registered and Seth understood.

"Em…" he tried but she pressed her fingers to his lips.

"Please, Seth, don’t. I can’t overlook it anymore. The things that I let you do while I stood by and watched," she turned guilty eyes toward Faith and the slayer looked back at her, tears falling from her cerulean green eyes. "I can’t stand by and watch any more."

"So it’s that easy for you?" he spat bitterly.

"No, it’s not. But don’t think that this is punishment. I do this for you, as well."

"Gee, thanks," he said sarcastically. He wouldn’t fight her, he couldn’t. He loved her too much to lift a harmful hand towards his love, the only person that had ever accepted him.

"Seth, my love," she said and her hand glowed as she released the energy from within, "know that I will love you always and if fate ever brings us back together, I will love you again." He nodded mutely, unaware of the tears that sprinkled from his own eyes. All he knew was the warmth of her touch and the love in her eyes as her sweet voice chanted in his ears.

"Half a life wasted in discord, half given unto pain. Turn back all that has been taken, giving half those years to live again." As she finished, both Emerald and Seth were engulfed in a blinding light and Faith had to shield her eyes from the two. She vaguely heard someone shout as the room filled with the shining light and her ears were blitzed with an ephemeral hum that reverberated throughout her body and soul. Suddenly, the pain in her body wasn’t quite as acute and neither were the horrible memories of her time spent at the hands of Seth. A vast weariness settled upon her and Faith gave into the earlier calls of unconsciousness, hugging the darkness to her eyes.

She didn’t see or feel the light as it died down nor the fact that now there was only one person where there used to be two. She didn’t see Emerald-or was it Dawn now? -Crying as she whispered to the vanished body "Godspeed, my love."

No. All Faith saw was darkness.

And it was good.

Chapter 16

It would have been so easy to sleep, Spike thought as he stared unblinkingly at the woman lying in his arms. He didn’t know how much time had passed since he had thrown Faith the knife-a gesture he had done without thinking--but he had been aware of the overpowering wave of--what was it? Content? -- That spread across his skin and into his mind. It whispered to him, 'close your eyes; rest', but he fought the urge; he refused to leave his lover, his Love, alone o die while he slept.

"You're not gonna die, luv," he heard himself say hollowly. Spike caressed Buffy's cheek while his other arm held her up, unsure of how to handle the wood that impaled her. He wanted to pull it out of her but knew that would only make things worse. So I just sit here like a stupid git and let her die of shock? He ranted inwardly. The truth of the matter was that he didn’t know what to do. So, in the end, he resigned himself to whispering love and encouragement to her despite the expanding ache in his gut telling him it all was hopeless.

***

The muffled sobs finally broke through Faith's peaceful high and the slayer opened her eyes. The Bronze was still somewhat dark though some of the darkness seemed to have abated. She shook the grogginess from her mind and tried to stand, only to fall down as her damaged leg reasserted itself.

She gasped at the acute pain, thankful that it was nowhere near as painful as it had been when it had been received. She sat up but refused to look at her leg; there were more important things to do, starting with figuring out where the crying was coming from.

That didn’t take long as she turned to her right and saw the huddled form of Dawn (or Emerald) naked and curled up into a fetal position, her long black hair shielding her face.

"Dawn?" Faith asked, scooting towards the young girl. "Dawnie, is that you?" Faith reached out with a tentative hand and patted the sobbing girl on the shoulder. She almost screamed in surprise and pain when Dawn hurled herself into Faith's arms. The throb of her leg was temporarily forgotten as she enveloped the teen in a soothing hug as her hands stroked the raven hair that flowed down Dawn's back.

"I'm sorry," the teen choked out, "I'm so sorry." Her arms tightened uncomfortably around Faith's neck but the slayer didn’t complain.

"Sorry about what, sweetie?"

"What…what I let him do to you," she cried and Faith couldn’t help but wince at the reminder of her time with Seth. But as much as it hurt, the pain wasn't close to as bad as it used to be and, in seconds, it became bearable and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was due to the young girl that cried into her arms.

"It's okay, baby," Faith cooed in Dawn's ear, "it's okay. He'll never hurt me again."

"Yeah," Dawn said after a long moment of silence, "never again." Faith couldn’t help but shed a tear at the sadness in Dawn's voice despite the central figure in that sadness. Yes, Seth had been an evil bastard that had tormented Faith and countless others but he had loved this young woman in her arms. Faith refused to be bogged down with superfluous thoughts and instead relegated herself to comforting Dawn even as she spotted her parents across the room.

Please be okay Mum, she thought to herself and her tears mingled with those of her aunt's.

***

Willow forced the weariness back as she pushed herself up from a still weeping Giles. To say she was rattled that the usually in control Watcher was an understatement. Her own reserves were scarcely together as her eyes traveled across the room and she ached at the sight of the prostrate Bronzers that had been unable to escape. They lay across the floor, their bodies looking lifeless except for…except…

"Giles!" She breathed and was thankful that the Watcher took notice. "These people…they aren't dead, are they?" she asked hesitantly.

Giles peered around the room, squinting to catch something, anything, from the Bronzers. Though it was barely noticeable, he did catch the haggard breathing of some people that had been closest to them. They were alive though their uneven breathing looked strikingly similar to Tara.

"Tara," he said at the thought of the Wicca and his eyes widened.

At the mention of her lover's name, Willow frantically searched the bodies until she noticed the huddled mass slumped against the wall not ten feet from her.

"Tara!" She exclaimed and crawled over to the unconscious Wicca. Tears spilled from Willow's eyes as she saw the bloodstained wall and the back of Tara's head. She reached out to touch the sandy blonde hair that was matted with blood but recoiled as their spiritual bond reaffirmed itself. Her insides churned as the pain that Tara would feel upon waking settled into her mind and, without examining any further, Willow knew how badly her lover was injured.

"Giles," she called over her shoulder, afraid to take her eyes off of Tara, "she's hurt really bad. We need to get her to a doctor." Willow frowned when Giles didn’t respond and angrily whirled around and stalked over to the downed Englishman.

"Didn’t you hear me?" She half screamed as she roughly grabbed him by the shoulder. "Giles, I said that Tara's…" But her next words caught in her throat as she caught sight of what had grasped the Watcher's attention.

"Buffy," she whispered and new tears raged down her cheeks at the sickening sight of her best friend impaled through the chest and back.

***

"Spike…" Buffy whispered as her eyes fluttered open. She smiled weakly and focused on the watery blue eyes of her lover, of the man she loved.

"Don't try to talk, pet," he responded hoarsely. "Save your strength."

"What…what happened?" She asked, ignoring his warning. She winced with each breath and she knew something was wrong. The last thing she remembered was jumping into Spike's arms though the reason for that, especially considering the battle that had been on hand, remained unknown to her.

"You got hurt," he choked out and she saw that he was barely holding it together.

"It's bad, isn't it," she said without question.

Not trusting his voice, Spike nodded. It was worse than bad. Not to say that he hadn't seen worse, but not on a human--not on her.

"I feel like I've been staked," she said and risked a glance at where the pain was coming from. Her eyes widened when she saw the wood protruding from her chest. "Well, whatta ya know," she quipped, "I have been staked." She turned mirthful hazel eyes back to Spike and tried to alleviate the tension etched into his face. "Of course, whoever did this missed the heart by about a mile." She started to chuckle but was caught in a spasm of coughs and Buffy knew blood spilled from her lips. She didn’t give into that particular fear as the pain and difficulty breathing required all her concentration.

"Spike…" She began before he cut her off.

"Why?" He spat and she cringed at the anger and bitterness in his tone.

"Why what?" She asked, confused by the change in his eyes that were now flecked with gold.

"Why did you do it? Save me? Why, Buffy?" She would have gotten mad per her usual but the sheer desperation in his eyes cut into her more than any weapon ever could.

"Spike…"

"Why Buffy? Do you want to die again? Do you want me to watch you die again?" Buffy couldn’t help but cry at Spike's desperation and she saw him crumble further at her tears. "Buffy, why?" He whispered and fought to keep himself still. "I'm not worth your blood," he added and, for the first time, averted his eyes.

Buffy fought off the pain and touched his cheek with her palm. She forced his chin up to look into her eyes and forced all the love she felt for him bleed into her gaze.

"Don't ever say that," she told him sternly, "don’t you ever say that you aren't worth it. You are worth sacrificing every drop of blood in my body for. Do you understand me?"

"Buffy, I…"

"Do you understand me?" He nodded, as her tone brokered no argument. Her eyes softened when he acquiesced and she continued. "Spike…William," she amended, "I love you with all that I am. The Slayer in me loves you as does the woman; just like I love William the man, and Spike the demon," she explained. The words were taking their toll and it was getting increasingly difficult to breath much less speak but she knew he needed to understand--to be strong when she left.

"I didn’t know until earlier today how much I loved you. You are everything to me, everything that I want. Everything that I need. And I want you to understand that this is something I've known for sometime now, but I was just too scared to admit it. Too scared to confront what I truly was…" Another fit of coughs echoed from her chest and she whimpered as the pain tripled. The call of darkness was strong and she knew the light and warmth of heaven awaited her across that barrier.

As her body rippled with pain, she smiled inside at the irony of it all. Not too long ago she would have welcomed death, welcomed the call back to heaven. But now, that was the last thing that she wanted. She had found a daughter, a daughter she would have never imagined having and a man that would love her through everything. Even at her worst, he would still love her unconditionally and she would only become a better and stronger person because of it. No, dying was the last thing she wanted.

But as she took another painful breath, she knew that she couldn’t stop the inevitable. Still, that wouldn’t stop her from loving him with everything she had within her up until her very last breath.

Even if that did happen to be today.

***

Faith and Dawn finally managed to get to their feet. As Faith wrapped the leather duster around her, Dawn felt memories of the last several minutes (or was it eons?) slowly dissipate. They were still there but as she came more to her senses, it was as if a shroud was being placed over that particular part of her. She tried to fight it but she was too exhausted. She laid her head on Faith's shoulder, relaxing in the woman’s comforting embrace.

Keeping all of her weight off her injured leg, Faith held onto Dawn while simultaneously leaning on the teen. She doubted that Dawn even knew it but Faith could sense the new strength, both physical and metaphysical, that coursed through the teen. She smiled weakly into Dawn's hair before taking a deep breath.

"Well, as much as I love the embrace, kiddo, there are others that need our help." Faith dodged Dawn's head as it shot up and lost her balance. The Key grabbed her around the waist effortlessly, preventing Faith from falling to the ground.

"Sorry," Dawn said meekly. Faith smiled tiredly, waving it off. That's when Dawn noticed the lack of covering for her future niece. "Your shirt…" she nodded at Faith's bare chest.

"Yeah, well, it kinda got destroyed." She shrugged. "Hazards of the job."

"But you are okay," the teen demanded.

"Yeah," and her voice cracked.

"But what?" Dawn grasped her shoulders and Faith winced as the teen squeezed, unaware of her new strength.

Faith said nothing but cocked her head to the side. Dawn followed her gaze and gasped when she saw her sister in Spike's lap.

"Buffy…" Dawn sobbed and covered her mouth with a trembling hand. She stared in disbelief at her sister's battered form and only the recognition that she was holding Faith up kept the teen from bolting to Buffy's side.

"She'll be okay," Faith encouraged though she didn’t feel the confidence of her words. "Daddy's with her." She forced Dawn to look at her. "But the others…we have to see if they're okay." Dawn nodded mutely, understanding what Faith was saying. Spike would protect her sister better than any of them ever could.

Faith saw the resignation in Dawn's eyes and the slayer smiled lightly before turning her attention elsewhere. She scoured the Bronze, noticing the piles of bodies’…bodies that looked to be breathing? She shook the realization from her head and continued to search for the others. She saw Xander cradling Anya at the far end of the club; the sadness in his eyes screamed at her what was wrong. Fear gripped Faith and she frantically searched for Giles and the others and saw them huddled in the corner. They were closer than Xander and it would be much easier to hobble over to them then navigate through the bodies between Xander and his fiancée.

"Let's go," she told Dawn after explaining to the teen her logic. Faith slung her arm over Dawn's shoulder and the latter snaked her arm around the slayer's waist. Faith didn’t use much energy as Dawn halfway carried her over to the two witches and watcher, though she was ignorant of the ease at which she escorted the slayer.

"Giles," Faith said when they reached the three Scoobies. The Watcher immediately turned his gaze over to Faith and it only took him a moment to recognize the severe injury to the slayer's leg.

"My God, Faith," he said and tried to stand only to be reminded of his own leg. "Bloody hell," he spat when the motion jarred the wooden splinter lodged in his thigh.

"No need to get up, Giles," Faith smirked as Dawn lowered her to the ground. Her eyes turned serious again when she saw Willow staring at her. She looked down at Tara's bloodied head and swallowed the lump in her throat before speaking.

"How is she?"

"Not good," Willow replied, wiping a strand of red hair from her bloodshot eyes. She shook her head to clear her eyes lest another tearful onslaught begin. "How's Buffy?" She forced herself to ask Faith and the slayer lowered her head.

"I…I don’t know. We haven't checked yet, but it didn’t look too good."

"I…I better check on Xander and Anya," Dawn interrupted and the two others finally noticed that it was her.

"Dawnie?" Willow whispered. The teen nodded and smiled sadly. She chuckled when Giles removed his cracked glasses and rubbed them with his jacket.

"Yes, it's me," the teen said and gave them a genuine smile before sobering. "But we can talk about that later. I have to check on Xander." She brushed a kiss across both Giles and Willow's foreheads and whispered something into Tara's ear before running over to Xander and Anya.

Giles closed his eyes, saying a silent prayer that they still had Dawn before turning his eyes back to Faith. Upon seeing her condition, he offered her his jacket, which she gratefully accepted.

"Seth?" Giles asked after a few moments of silence.

"Gone."

"How?" Willow asked. "I thought he was…"

"Dawn. She did it. I don’t know what she did or how, but she did."

***

The tears hadn't fallen as long as Xander would have expected. In fact, they had barely fallen once he realized that Anya was dead and not coming back. He had gone back to rocking her gently in his arms, never turning his gaze from her lifeless eyes. The numbness inside of him was beyond comprehension and he laughed to himself, thinking this must have been what being pulled out of heaven felt like. The deadness of this world pulled at his soul and Xander could feel nothing but apathy. Apathy and resentment, the latter for the person that had caused all of this, for the person who should have never have been here in the first place.

"Xander," a familiar voice sounded in his ear and the brunette felt a comforting hand on his, on the one that held Anya. Xander looked up and saw the sweet face of Dawn staring back at him, emerald tears shimmering in her obsidian eyes. Emotion threatened to resurface at Dawn’s sympathetic eyes but the carpenter slammed the lid shut before they emerged.

"Hey, Dawnster," he said and plastered a wry grin on his face. Dawn saw through the bravado, grimacing at the pain radiating from him. "Guess we won, huh?" He commented after scanning the crowd, seeing no traces of Seth or Jennifer.

"Guess so," she said and risked a glance towards Buffy and Spike.

Xander didn’t notice her drifting gaze and, instead, turned his eyes back towards his deceased lover. "So the wickedly cool Wiccas and G-man came through for you, huh. Must have happened before I rejoined the land of the wakeful."

"No," Dawn said, her teary eyes now locked on Anya's still form, "they didn’t get a chance to…I don’t know what happened," she absently fingered the cool silver locket around her neck, "but I think Faith had something to do with it."

Dawn didn’t notice Xander's body tense or his eyes darken at the mention of Faith. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and he was taken by surprise at the love that radiated from Dawn.

"I'm sorry, Xander," she whispered in his ear. "I am so sorry." Her words and subsequent kiss on his cheek abated the anger in his heart for the moment and he responded by nodding into her hair.

All too quickly for him, she broke the embrace though her hands remained on his shoulders. "I…I have to get over to Buffy," she told him and fought to keep her voice steady.

Xander's eyes popped out at the mention of his best friend and he fired a look over the teen's shoulder. Though he was somewhat obscured by the way Spike was turned, he still recognized the foreign object protruding from the slayer's chest and it was all that he could not to burst into fresh sobs.

"Is she…?" He trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

"No. I don’t know how I know, but no," she sighed and her eyes turned back towards her fallen sister. "Still, I don’t know how much longer…I can feel her…slipping away." Dawn and Xander dropped their heads in misery, unwilling to face what the Key knew.

Buffy was dying.

***

"Spike," Buffy whispered.

"Yeah, pet?" the vampire answered, relief coating his voice. They had been silent for several minutes, both lost in their thoughts, fear robbing them of words. Though Spike knew that his lover was not dead, he could hear the steady fall of her pulse and he could do nothing but hold her, afraid to move. He sensed the Scoobies shuffling towards him and Buffy but his eyes never left his slayer.

"Remember…remember that time that I thought I killed that girl and you told me to go home?"

"Yeah, darling. What about it?" He cooed while his hand stroked her cooling cheek.

"I…I dreamed about you that night. Before I went to the police station."

"Always knew I was haunting your dreams, luv," he smiled wryly. His eyes lit up when Buffy smacked him on the shoulder but he quickly sobered at the grimace of pain that marred her features. "Buffy, don’t…" he began but was interrupted.

"Yeah, whatever, Spikey." She closed her eyes and for a minute Spike was afraid that was the last thing he would ever hear from his slayer until she opened her eyes a few seconds later.

"I remember it like it was yesterday. I was so…so tired and the guilt was overpowering me. I remember you sliding in bed behind me. You kissed my shoulders and told me that everything would be all right. And you know what? I believed you because…"

"Because what?" he whispered after brushing a kiss across her brow.

"Because you've always made things right."

"Buffy…" Spike began but a sob caught in his throat. He had been so enraptured with her voice that he had ignored the steady decline in her pulse. It was almost non-existent now and he didn’t know how she was still conscious.

"You…you have. I know I told you how--how much I've depended on you and how much I owe you--"

"You owe me nothing," he whimpered.

"I owe you everything. Without you…without you, Spike, I never would have made it back. My spirit was dead and you gave it life again." As Buffy spoke, her eyes glazed over and though she said nothing about it, Spike knew she couldn’t see him anymore.

"Buffy I…"

"I don’t wanna die, Spike," she said and tears poured from her sightless eyes. Spike bit into his lip to prevent from crying out and he ignored the blood that spurted from the cut.

"I don’t wanna die," she repeated and Spike heard the last gasps in her voice. "I don’t wanna leave you, Spike. Not after…not after knowing how much…"

"How much what?" Spike asked but there was no reply. "Buffy?" Spike repeated frantically and he shook her gently. The movement did nothing but cause her head loll to the side and Spike couldn’t contain the harsh wail that escaped from his lips.

Spike lost all feeling of self as he held Buffy's limp body. His mind whirled as images of he and Buffy fought for supremacy in his fracturing mind. The first time he had spoken to her outside the Bronze and working as a team to stop Angelus months after their initial clash. Willow's love spell when he first held her in his arms. The kiss she gave him after Glory had beaten him. The naked pain of seeing her body to the unspeakable joy of watching her walk down those steps again, alive.

The sheer awe of their first coupling to their first true love making of the night before flashed through his mind until he was shoved back into the harsh realities of the present.

The primal scream that tore from his throat was heard for blocks and those that heard it felt their hearts constrict--not in fear, but in the knowledge that someone had lost a part of himself to some unspeakable tragedy. They would never know who it was or how but, for that night, they would hold their loved ones just a little tighter, understanding how precious little time they really had.

But Spike would never know. He would never know anything again as a life without her, without Buffy had been too much the first time around. How could he possibly face it a second time? So he would do the only thing he could think of; just as she had died in his arms, he would die in hers…

And he would have, were it not for the hands around his neck and arms that prevented him from joining her in a final embrace. The pain of the chip was forgotten as he struggled to no avail. Just as intent as he was on dying, the arms that wrapped around him were just as resolute in keeping him alive.

Finally, as grief clamped over his heart, Spike gave up the fight and held onto the nearest body. He wept openly as comforting arms held him tight. As he cried, he heard a familiar voice whisper into his ear that she would always be there for him, that she would never leave him. The soft reassurances only caused him to hold on tighter and he inhaled the distinctive scent that pressed against him.

Spike's last thought as he gave into the darkness before his eyes was what Buffy had said before she had died. She had told him she loved him and even as she lay their in his arms and he watched life seep from her veins, his heart had ached in sheer joy to hear her finally say it. But now, now that she was gone, that ache was now one of incomprehensible grief.

Hoarse and lifeless, he heard his voice drift into the oppressive silence of the Bronze.

"It should have been me…" he said and repeated the mantra until the haze expanded over his mind.

He never saw the tears fall from the eyes of the others though he did hear Faith's voice sound shakily in his ear, repeating the exact same words Buffy had spoken not one day ago.

"Don’t leave me," she whispered. "Please, daddy, don’t leave me." As Spike finally succumbed to the numbness of unconsciousness, he vowed, just as he had to Buffy, he would watch over their daughter until he was no more.

After all, that's what Buffy would have done.

Epilogue

April 14th, 2002

2:16 p.m.

Forty-two days.

It's been forty-two days since all hell broke loose at the Bronze. Forty-two days since me and my family, blood and otherwise, almost lost our lives to that sadistic bastard Seth who, to my utmost satisfaction, is nothing more than dust particles in the ether. Forty-two days since our lives were irrevocably changed forever.

It's been thirty-six days since we buried Xander's fiancée, Anya. It was a beautiful spring day with the wind and the sun but I don’t remember the day because of how pretty the blue sky was--I'm not that shallow. No, what I remember most about it was the infinite sadness in those dark, once glistening eyes of Xander. I watched as they lowered her into the ground and the life seeped from him with each passing second of her burial. Everyone cried, even Daddy and me, though I hadn't even known her for two days. Ironic, isn't it that in my time, Xander and Anya had been killed before I was born and now, in this time, they died two days after my arrival. Yeah, I know Xander is still alive (I think) but what made him Xander Harris died that night in the Bronze where he held her as she died in his arms.

You know, I think he blames me. On the days leading up to the funeral, he never spoke a single word to me (of course, he didn’t speak much to anyone else for that matter) but with me, it was different. He never stayed in the room for more than five minutes if I was in it and, though he rarely even glanced at me, when he did, it was clear as to how he felt about me coming here. I think it was only a matter of time before he said something hurtful, something that would have broken my barely healing heart.

Instead, two days after the funeral, he left without a word. That was thirty-four days ago and we haven't heard from him since.

It's been twenty-three days since Giles moved in with us. With Tara and Mum…gone, the house was pretty empty and I think all of us needed the companionship that we now have. Daddy teases Giles and says that the only reason he moved in with us (me, Dawn, Willow and Daddy) is because he needed someone to care for him after the surgery on his leg. But for all his snarky comments, I can tell he's glad that Giles is here. His presence has been a godsend to us and it goes far beyond his "watcherly" duties. He's been there for Willow and together they have begun to mold her powers into something rooted in light and not darkness. Even though she's still in pain over Tara, I can see her inner strength growing with the control she has gained as well as the fact that she has taken over the 'motherly' duties of Casa Del Summers for Tara. Dawn sometimes whispers to me that her cooking's not nearly as good as Tara but light years ahead of Mum's. Of course, I defend my Mum even though her cooking forty years from now doesn’t go too far beyond microwave nukage. If it weren't for Daddy, I probably wouldn't weigh more than fifty pounds.

Speaking of him, it feels so good to have him back in my life. They say you don't know what you've got until it's gone and, while that sounds overly trite and Dawson's Creek-y to me, I can't help but agree with it completely. Those two years wandering the world by myself, knowing that he was gone and I'd never see him again, were the hardest of my life. I loved, no love, Mum dearly but deep down I was always Daddy's little girl. He called me his partner in crime and whenever I got into trouble with Mum, he'd come to my rescue and take the heat from what would usually be a brassed off slayer--one of the most dangerous things to man and demon alike. He spoiled me something awful and still does; all it takes is a single look from my cerulean green's and he's around my itty bitty baby finger. It's not that I exploit it or anything--unless Ben and Jerry's or Playstation is involved--but it makes me feel so loved, like nothing can touch me. And whenever he wraps his arm around me and stays with me until I go to sleep--and no, I'm not a baby…okay, so maybe a little--I feel nothing can touch me. Not even the dreams.

The first one occurred ten days ago and I've had them every night since then. In it I see a man familiar to us all, himself now but in the future ripped from his own body. I must face him alone and my Mum and Daddy beg for me not to. I know what I must do to stop him. I tell them I will be all right but the look in their eyes tells me that they don’t believe me. The only comfort I have is telling them that they'll see me again and before I turn from them, I bend down to kiss my mother's belly…

Sorry, Diary, but let's talk about something else--like today. Two days ago Tara woke up from her coma. Yeah, I know, we are all so ecstatic about it. We didn’t know how long she was going to be out of it, but thank God that she is. Still, it'll probably be a couple of weeks before she can come home since she's in traction. That little trip into the wall broke her back and gave her a right cracked skull but she should recover fully, it'll just take some time. Willow can probably do a healing spell for her or something to speed the recovery and if her powers are accessible, Dawn could help.

Dawn. I can't help but look up to the young woman that I share a room with. Even if I am outwardly eight years her senior, she's the one that's been acting along the lines of an adult. Maybe it's because she is technically older than time that gives her the maturity I sometimes lack or maybe it's just because she knows how hard things have been on me. She's held me when Daddy's out patrolling and the nightmares are too much. I can talk to her about what I'm feeling, considering she's lost a Mum, too, except in her case, Grandma Joyce wasn't gonna come back. I wish she still had her healing powers that I remember but she doesn’t. Well, it's not that she doesn’t, it's more along the lines of she can't access them yet, not since the night at the Bronze where she brought Mum back. She says it's like the power's there but hiding, like it's waiting for something. The first time she told us that was right after we got the news on Mum that she'd probably never wake up. I cried and screamed that she wasn’t trying hard enough and if Daddy weren’t there to shake some sense into me, then I would have said something even more hurtful. As it is, we're all in the same boat right now; waiting.

Damn it, Diary. I just saw another tear stain your pages. Sorry but thinking of Mum looking so lifeless, hooked up to machines like she was hurts me so much. After all I did and said to her when I first arrived here I can't help but feel guilty that she's like this. Great, here comes the pity party again. I'm glad Daddy's not here yet. Seeing me like this would only make him sadder because he'd know just what it was that I was crying about and I know how much it hurts him though he doesn’t show it. He feels that he has to be strong for us all. For me and Dawn, Giles and Willow. I worry about him. Sometimes he goes patrolling at sunset and doesn’t return until sunrise. Okay, so I exaggerate. He hasn't pulled that particular stunt since hobbled to the graveyard one night and yelled at him the whole way home, tears of worry and frustration blurring my eyes. He promised that, until I could patrol again, he wouldn’t do that and Daddy always keeps his promise. Yeah, even with slayer healing and twenty-first century science, it'll be another week or so before I can start training again--that's how bad it was. The doctors said it was a miracle I didn’t have to have my leg amputated but those are the perks with being the kid of a vampire and slayer. And yeah, I know I sound like a kid saying "daddy always keeps a promise" but you don’t care, do you? You better not considering you're just my sounding board.

Back to Daddy. Like I said, there are times where he's cut the whole patrolling all night thing close but…he knows I worry. The sadness radiates off of him like something radioactive. I mean, he puts on a brave face for us, but we can all see it, especially me. I see the way his left eye flinches every time Mum's name comes up or that faraway look he gets when he leans on the tree out front. I've even watched him cry silently on the back steps though I never let him know. I want to go to him so bad, tell him everything will be all right but I don’t want to hurt him anymore. I know if I came to him when he’s like that, he’d only feel worse, like he failed her and me and it wouldn’t matter what I said to him, he’d just ignore it and fall deeper into the darkness and, though he promised to be there for me, one night he’d make a mistake and it would all be over. I can’t lose him-none of us can. Especially Mum.

I don’t believe what the doctors say. Hell, according to them, it’s physically impossible for her to be alive, much less wake up. I mean, after we took her off life support ten days ago, they were giving us the whole nine yards about preparations to make about the body-soddin’ bastards.

I know, I know, they were just doing their job, but they don’t know how much of a fighter my Mum is. Yeah, she may look fragile and weak on the outside, but her spirit is there, fighting to get out. I’m gonna stop by and talk to her after we visit Tara. We go every day to talk to her, even if it’s for five minutes, to let her know that we believe in her--that we’ll be waiting for her when she wakes up. Daddy never goes with us. After the first time we went to see her together, he said he couldn’t do it, couldn’t see her like that; so helpless and small. Don’t get me wrong, we all know he goes-in fact, the nights that he barely makes it here before the sun peaks above the clouds are the nights he spends perched by her side, holding her hand, but we never ask him about it. At night, when I sometimes lay in bed with him, he holds my hand just like I know he holds hers and the pain he feels radiates from his cool hand into me, beckoning me to hold him just a little closer. I told him once that he could cry on me but he told me that he didn’t deserve to cry over her. I tried to ask him what he meant but he never explained…

Oh, Willow’s calling me, telling me that we’re ready to go. I can’t wait to see Tara. Daddy said he’d sneak in tonight, after patrol and talk with ‘Glinda’. Guess he wants his own one-on-one with her. Oh well, I’ll ask him after we come back.

April 15th, 2002

3:24 a.m.

Thirty-two days.

I saw it! Thirty-two days until Mummy wakes up. Thirty-two days before Daddy can finally accept what I’ve told him-that Mum will always be with him. I want to run now and tell him about the dream I just had but I…what if it’s just wishful thinking and she doesn’t wake up? I can’t do that to him…any of them, really. I know I’m getting my own hopes up but I can prevent them from feeling the disappointment if it was just a dream and meant nothing.

I’m gonna try and go back to sleep though I don’t think that it’s gonna happen. Maybe I can wake Dawn and play some poker. Nah. She’s got school tomorrow and she’d kick my arse if I woke her up or, even worse, she tell me to "Get out! Get out! Get out!" LOL. Guess I’ll just lay here and think about everything I want to tell Mum-things that I didn’t get a chance to say either times…

April 17th, 2002

4:27 a.m.

Everyone’s back asleep again, I think. Guess I woke the whole house up with the bloody yelling and screaming but I couldn’t help it-I saw Him.

Damn it, even with Daddy here beside me, my hands won’t stop shaking but after what I saw, who came blame me. I don’t even want to write down what I saw, I’m too afraid that it will pull me to the pages. Or maybe I know that writing it down will make it all the more real because, unlike the dream I had about Mum the other night, I know this one was a slayer dream.

Death. Death and fire and blood, raining from above and below-that's what I saw. Death is coming…Death and His riders, ready to smite down man and demon alike.

Bloodshed. Oh, there will be rivers and oceans of blood coating the streets and waters. The stench of the dead will choke us and He will use it to further our suffering.

Death is coming with the name of an Angel.

Death is coming for us, for me.

And I have one hundred and forty-seven days to prepare.

And I thought some of my Mum's birthdays sucked…