Heavenly Stroll

Heavenly Stroll 1/1

By Denna at dennaseer@hotmail.com

Rated G

Keywords: Buffy, Spike, Heaven, Dead Buffy, Buffy POV

Spoilers: The Gift, so if you haven’t seen the end of Season 5, you won’t

really get this

Summary: Just what was Buffy’s heavenly dimension like? What did she do all

that time?

Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Joss Whedon. I am not making any

profit from this story

Heavenly Stroll

Today, I went to the beach. Well, I go to the beach every day. In fact,

it’s the only place I’ve ever been to. It was strange at first how

everything had form yet didn’t, like fog or mist. Everything is soft and dim

here…safe. So much safer than the life I had before.

I often go to the sea to think about my mother. Her blonde curls, her

maternal smile and the slight catch in her voice she had whenever she caught

me sneaking out. It’s nice, that when I think of her, I don’t get that

horrible twisting feeling in my gut like I’m going to throw up. I just feel

like she’s right there with me, walking beside me on the beach. And she is.

I can’t see her, but she probably can’t see me either. I feel like I’m

holding her hand or she’s lightly touching my shoulder. I feel at home.

In the wispy features of my hand, I am suddenly carrying a bouquet of

flowers. White roses. Their petals soft and inviting in my hand, the thorns

gone, only the ivory flowers. As I walk along the water’s edge, I gently

prick the petals off the roses and throw them, one by one, into the ocean.

And I pray.

I pray for my mother, my father, Dawn, Willow, Xander and Giles. I pray

that they will be strong and remember to live. I pray for Spike.

I cry. But not in sorrow or fear. In happiness. Because in this beautiful

void, I can see him. Faintly, in the distance.

I know he is crying, for me, for his love. But I know he is strong. He will

continue to live…sort of. And when he leaves his world, he will be here with

me. And we will walk through the waters of this heavenly beach, hand in

hand, or maybe with his arm tucked comfortably around my waist. We’d be

barefoot, wind in our hair, smelling the faint salty air. In our own private

Eden.

I would tell him what a powerful fighter he was, what a grand protector,

and what a loving friend he had been. I would tell him how proud of him I

am, how he stayed strong and took care of Dawn. How he was a part of her

life and how he spoiled her rotten. I would tell him how much I love him.

That I was afraid, ashamed. Hurt too many times. But I’m not afraid anymore.

It fills me with comfort to know that one day all these things will happen.

That now I know what a great man he really is. I smile when I think of the

conversations on the beach we’ll have. Spike with his familiar gentle grin,

telling me of his great stories as a mortal and reciting his horrible

poetry. But I don’t mind. His poems to me would be like perfect prose, songs

of the soul. We will finally be together, as one. As was meant to be.

I know that Spike is hurting. I could feel it as I left this world. As I

looked down on him one last time. As he fell to the ground, bloody and

lifeless, crying his pain out in ragged gasps. I know that right now the

loss feels like he’s been torn in two.

But I know that he will not live alone, for I will always be with him. My

soul will fill him, my essence will breathe into him. I will make him alive.

I already have. He will never be alone, for I am always with him. For I know

he can see me too, in the distance, though he believes me not to be real. I

am here.

I know that one day he will be finally recognize the lone figure on the

beach. And he will smile and come down. And we will walk hand in hand down

the beach forever. I know that right now, he stays in the distance with

tears in his eyes. But I know he will come for me.

I am patient

The End