Chapter 5

Days Like This

9:29 a.m.

“So, Rupes,” Spike said while picking at the chipped paint on his nails, “get to talkin’.”

Giles had to stifle a laugh at the vampire’s predictability. The watcher knew that his tone had put the blonde on edge and Spike had surmised that what Giles was going to say was serious. It reminded the watcher about the first time he had tried to have a serious talk with Spike. It had been a few weeks after the Initiative had chipped him and Giles had come to Spike while the vampire was searching for another place to live. Giles had proposed the question of whether Spike had seen the chip as a sign: a beacon of sorts, giving the vampire a second chance to fight on the side of good. He had been met with open hostility from the bleached blonde and had never again broached the subject, even during last summer when Spike had been integral to the group. No, they had still treated him like an outsider. No matter how much Dawn loved him, Spike was never looked at as part of the gang. He was the muscle or babysitter on call but never anything more. And as much animosity the Scoobies rightfully had towards Spike, despite the obvious changes that the vampire underwent, their viewpoints had never changed.

And Giles had no one to blame for that but himself.

The watcher pinched his nose, a tired sigh slipping from his lips. He had to apologize to the vampire but was clueless as to how to begin.

Despite his cavalier façade, Spike was anything but calm waiting for Giles to break the ice. By the grave look in the watcher’s eyes, Spike knew that dear old Ripper wanted nothing more than to warn him to stay away from Buffy. The vampire had known for the past month that the threats would come but he just didn’t know when. If Xander had still be here, Spike had no doubt that the brunette would have taken it upon himself to give the speech but with Xander gone, the duty fell to Giles.

"Spike," Giles started but was interrupted when Spike stood unexpectedly.

"You know what, Rupes? Save it."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me, you wanker." He paced a few feet from the table before walking back again. Running a hand through his sleep-tousled hair, the vampire turned towards Giles, his cerulean eyes filled with anger, pain, fear and disappointment.

"It's never gonna be enough for you lot, is it?"

"Spike," Giles said, trying to keep his tone steady. "What are you talking about?"

Spike let out a harsh laugh before fixing Giles with a determined gaze that made the watcher squirm. "I will not leave 'er." Though his voice was steady, Spike could feel his emotions overflowing inside.

"You…you mean Buffy?"

"I don’t care what you think is best for 'er, I won't go. I made 'er a promise to always be there for 'er and you won't drive me away just because you think I don’t deserve 'er. Wake up, Rupes. I know I don't soddin' deserve the slayer's 'eart, but by God, I 'ave it. And now that I do, I sure as 'ell don't intend to piss on it."

Spike stared at the bewildered man in front of him and, if anything, Giles's confusion only fueled the vampire's frustration.

Giles jumped when Spike roared and slammed his fist on the island countertop. "What do I ‘ave to do, huh, Rupert? What do I 'ave to do for you to trust me? For you to know that I love your slayer--that I love Buffy more than my soddin' existence?" He sat down tiredly and when he next looked at Giles, the watcher saw the hundred plus years of bloodshed and pain wash over the vampire's face.

Spike sat there, head in his hands. All the anger had drained from his body and the weariness he had tried to stave off for the past month broke free from its moorings, inundating him with a grief similar to what he had felt when she had plunged off that tower.

"I have worked by your side for three years, Ripper. True, I haven't been the paramount of cooperation with the lot of you but--ever since this summer, I've done nothing but work beside you, no questions asked. Never have I asked for the respect or gratitude I deserve and with the exception of Glinda and Nibblet, I've never gotten consideration for the feelings that I do have.

"I know that you think I'm nothing more than a soulless monster with government plastic shoved into my brain, making me play nice but it's not that. Do you think Buffy would have told me that she loved me if she didn’t trust me? If she didn’t believe in me?

"I can't fight you all. If you want me out, sooner or later, I'll be out. But I won't leave without a fight. So unless you're prepared to dust me, I suggest you sod off." The last words were whispered though Giles heard them quite clearly.

Giles motioned to put his glasses back on but decided against it. He granted Spike a humorless smile and took a deep breath before beginning.

"Spike, for over a century, you brought death to countless innocents as William the Bloody. You have been a danger to us every moment up until the Initiative chipped you. Even then, you were dishonest with us countless times, and that’s not including your impetuosity."

Spike opened his mouth to speak but Giles silenced him with a wave of his hand. "We have had every reason to distrust you and your motives from the beginning, especially when we discovered your feelings towards Buffy. Angel once told us that you would stop at nothing to obtain that which you desire. So why would Buffy be any different?

"Be that as it may, you did show nobility when you were taken by Glory though I must say, despite what you allowed her to do to you, I still did not trust you. But Buffy had. Truth be told, if Buffy hadn't been so adamant about it, you never would have been included in our attempted escape from Glory. It just so happened that were it not for those events, everything I detested about you would have stayed in my mind. And I would have been wrong."

Spike looked up at that, the sincerity of the watcher's words bleeding through his dejection.

"Spike, during those last days against Glory and the subsequent months before Buffy's resurrection, you showed me something. You showed me that demons could change for the better. That they, or more to the point, you could feel just as deeply as any human being. You disproved a lifetime's worth of education about the nature and motivations of demons. I am ashamed that I never expressed my gratitude…"

"Gratitude?" Spike repeated as if the word was foreign to him.

"Yes, Spike. Gratitude. Not just with when you went out on patrol with us or was there for Dawn. But also for the times you patrolled without us, fought things that even Buffy had never seen before." Giles chuckled at the vampire's surprise. "Oh, yes, Spike, I know about some of the things you did without our knowledge. I always desired to confront you about that but my grief at the time often stood in the way. I do hope you forgive my tardiness.

"Spike, even in those times when I didn’t trust you, I did respect you."

"Why?"

"To go on after you were violated by the Initiative. The strength and fortitude it took to continue on is inconceivable. To have you entire lifestyle ripped from you without any means of retrieving it, to have the courage to go to your mortal enemy for help when you were defenseless against us. You showed a strength that most people cannot even conceive of, much less do. That was precisely the reason I approached you about your possible change in destiny."

"If I remember correctly, I sorta threw it back in your face," Spike said and smiled sheepishly.

"That you did. Still, I should have known that you would do that. My God, it had only been a few weeks since the chip had been implanted in your head. How could I not have understood your reaction and given you more time to adjust instead of sulking?"

"Sulking?" The vampire repeated. "Not quite sure I follow you."

"After I asked you that first time whether or not you saw the chip as an opportunity as another way of life, I never broached the subject again and I can only assume that it was my blasted pride that prevented me from asking you again. Not only that, but I never tried to include you as a part of the group, despite the time we shared in my flat."

"Sorry, Rupes, but you know as well as I do that, back then, I'd 've drained the lot of you the first chance I got."

"So why didn’t you?" On the blonde's puzzled stare, he continued. "You could have hired demons to kill us, just like you did with the Order of Taraka. You could have sent an army of bounty hunters after us until we were finally beaten. You didn’t. Why?"

Spike shrugged. Truthfully, he had briefly entertained that exact course of action but dismissed it just as quickly.

“I do not know, either,” Giles conceded, “but what I do know is that if you were the same demon that came to town all those years ago, then chances are we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Spike, you have changed and it’s a tragedy that we’ve never taken notice of it before.”

The room was silent for several minutes as Giles allowed the blonde to mull over what had been said. When he thought enough time had elapsed, the bespectacled man addressed the final segment of his thoughts.

“Buffy has been through so much in her young life, and I am not just referring to the task of fighting evil virtually every night. I’m referring to the heartbreak of loss; of those she gave her heart to leaving her.

“Her sorry excuse of a father was her first major disappointment. He skipped out on her without a second thought and has not contacted her since.”

“Good riddance,” Spike nodded, the vehemence clear in his tone. Giles smiled grimly and not for the first time he wished he could get his hands on Hank Summers, to throttle the man into submission for abandoning his family.

“Then,” the watcher continued, “there was the Angel debacle. Having to kill him tore away any innocence and faith that she had. Though she will never regain the former, her faith has been slowly restored. Of course the faith that she had begun to get back before Joyce got sick was damaged by Riley’s betrayal and what she felt as her mother abandoning her.”

“But Joyce would have done anything for Buffy.”

“I know that, you know that and, somewhere deep down, so does Buffy. But it still doesn’t change the fact that, in Buffy’s eyes, Joyce, just like all the others, left her. Just like her father, just like Angel and Riley. Just like me.”

“You?”

“Because I left her, too. Although it was under the pretense that I was doing her a favor, even as bad as she was apparently doing after the resurrection, I still felt as if I was no more useful than a crutch to her, having no real value.”

“I understand,” the vampire whispered. Giles nodded though decided not to comment any further on the subject.

“So, you see, Spike, every man Buffy has ever cared for has left her. Though their excuses may have been different, the fact remains that they all deserted her. All of us. Except you.”

“And I never will,” Spike swore.

“I know you won’t. If you haven’t left yet after all we have put you through, then you won’t now that Buffy loves you.

“You are her equal, Spike. You stand up to her regardless of her mood. You instill confidence when she requires it and feed her the unvarnished truth unlike any other. You hold her in the highest esteem yet do not place her upon a pedestal where she can do no wrong. You are the only one strong enough, in both mind and body to be what she needs. A partner.”

Reading the vampire’s thoughts, Giles stood and walked over to the seated vampire, laying his hand on the blonde’s shoulder. “Spike, despite you not having a soul, despite the demon living inside of you, your love for Buffy has proven to me that you have within you what most people in this world shall never have.” Off of Spike’s look, Giles finished.

“Humanity.”

Spike felt chills creep over his undead flesh at the simple word and tears threatened to spill from his eyes. Buffy had told him the exact same thing the night before the fight at the Bronze and it had meant everything to him. He never thought anyone could say anything that would affect him the way her acknowledgment of him did. And even if Giles’s admission did not top that moment with Buffy, it had come pretty damn close.

Giles saw the vampire-no-the man, before him struggling with a battery of emotions. He smiled internally at Spike’s desperate attempts to conceal what he was feeling to no avail. Giles had always known that the vampire’s emotions were always revealed through his cerulean eyes. And though he was of the “stiff upper crust variety”, Giles wondered briefly if his own feelings towards his surrogate daughter’s paramour were evident.

Saying no more, the watcher nodded before taking the paper and exiting the kitchen, leaving Spike to his own devices.

As soon as Giles left, a single tear made its way down Spike’s cheek and he roughly wiped it away. Taking a deep breath, he headed to the basement in an attempt to find a semblance of peace.

Plopping down on the mattress, Spike stared up at the ceiling. “Thank you,” he whispered to the empty room before falling asleep and, for the first time since he had been with Buffy, Spike slept with a smile on his face.

*&*

"Faith, no!" Dawn screamed though her shouts of protest fell on deaf ears.

"Sorry, Dawnie, but I don’t think that'll cut it," came the snarky reply from the slayer.

"Faith, if you drop me, so help me I will…" but Dawn's words were cut short when she was tossed three feet into the air and into the snapping waves. The water crashed over her head and it was several seconds before she surfaced, hacking water from her mouth. All the while, Faith stood knee deep in the waves, hands on her stomach as she laughed uncontrollably.

"You are so dead," Dawn yelled and charged the laughing slayer. Faith evaded Dawn's lunge and ran to shore with the brunette not too far behind.

"Come back here, Faith," Dawn screamed, chasing her through the throng of beach going onlookers.

"Gotta catch me first, Auntie," she hollered over her shoulder. They had been at the beach a little over two hours and the whole time had been spent like this; laughing and joking with Willow and Tara, though the latter two had remained in their initial spot, reading and soaking up the sun.

Faith laughed as Dawn chased her. The blonde risked a peek behind her and saw that Dawn was catching up rapidly. Wow, she thought to herself, Dawnie’s really…

She never finished the thought because, when her eyes focused in front of her, a group of three guys with their backs turned blocked her path. Faith reacted instinctively, somersaulting over the group, landing on the other side of them.

“Hey guys,” Faith said, grinning sheepishly at the three guys that gaped at her in shock. She glanced past them, looking for Dawn but saw no sign of her. Shrugging her shoulders, Faith turned around and made her way back to Tara and Willow.

He had come out of nowhere.

One minute Dawn had been on her niece’s heels, intent on making Faith pay for the little ‘hoist Dawn into the ocean’ stunt while, the next minute she was spitting out a mouthful of sand.

“Damn it,” the teen growled, her anger directed at whatever it had been that had tripped her up.

“Careful baby,” a deep voice said close to her ear. Dawn jumped up, pushing off the hard body underneath her. She scrambled to her feet and glared at the smirking figure still on his back.

“Young ladies aren’t supposed to talk like that,” he teased and held his hand out for Dawn to help him up. She folded her arms across her chest in response. “So, I take it you’re not going to give me a hand, huh?” Dawn cocked an eyebrow at the stranger who chuckled at her gesture before getting to his feet and dusting the sand from his body.

Although she was pissed, Dawn couldn’t help but gasp when she finally got a clear view of the guy in front of her.

He wasn’t too tall, maybe an inch or so taller than Spike and had the same lean and muscular build. That however was where the similarities ended.

Where Spike was light, the shirtless guy in front of her was dark. His chocolate brown skin shone with what looked like oil as specks of sand still clung to his arms and chest. She could make out a few scars here and there, as well as a tattoo encircling his right bicep but those particular details were secondary to his other outstanding features.

A dark blue sun visor lay on the ground beside him and his baldhead twinkled almost as much as his chocolate brown eyes. Familiar eyes that beckoned to the brunette but she shook it off and studied the strong jut of his jaw and his full, inviting lips that were highlighted by a nearly perfect goatee. She trailed the pattern of his facial hair before settling back on those oh so inviting lips that were now curved into a smile.

Her breath hitched in her chest when he closed the short distance between them and looked down at her with his friendly eyes. She thought she saw a flicker of recognition pass through them before the warmth returned. His gaze traveled over her and though she was surprised by his observation of her bikini-clad form, she did not for a second feel uncomfortable.

“You’re a little dirty there,” he said, his voice husky. He lifted his hand to her arm and gently brushed the sand away. Dawn’s eyes widened at the simple touch and she bit her tongue to stifle a groan.

Brown-eyes must have felt it too, she surmised when he took a quick step back before regaining his composure.

“Sorry ‘bout that. Guess you weren’t watching where you were going.”

“Yeah, about that…” Dawn started but frowned when she realized what he said. “I wasn’t watching where I was going?! Are you serious? That was like totally your fault.”

“Easy there, tiger,” he said, raising his hands, palms up, in submission. “I was just messin’ with you.” His thick eyebrows arched in amusement that only irritated Dawn further.

“First off, my name is not ‘tiger’. It’s Dawn.”

“Dawn,” he repeated as if trying her name out on his lips. “I like.”

“Whatever.”

“Look, Dawn,” he said and the teen shivered at the way her name sounded on his lips. “I was just playing around with you when I said that. I am sorry that I did run into you.”

“That’s why you were so concerned on whether or not I was hurt.” He opened his mouth to say something but decided against it. He didn’t think ‘I know you can take more than that’ would land him in Dawn’s good graces.

“Sorry,” he said and shrugged his shoulders. “Forgive me?” He gave her another brilliant smile before jutting his hand out to her. Dawn studied it intently, trying not to stare at the marble chisel of his abdominal muscles or the vein that flowed down his bicep, branching off into his forearm.

Taking a deep breath, she shook his hand and relaxed as the warmth from his touch slithered up her arm and into her chest.

“C.J.” His voice broke Dawn from her reverie and she gaped at him with wide eyes.

“What?”

“C.J. That’s my name. Well, at least what everyone calls me. My real name’s Cedrik, or Ced for short.”

Dawn smirked. “So, you just have the monopoly on aliases, don’t you?”

“You could say that.” He dropped his eyes, his attention inadvertently falling to Dawn’s exposed midriff. Coughing, to cover up his embarrassment, C.J. focused back onto her face. “So you forgive me?”

“For what?”

“Well, for the whole human roadblock thing.” Dawn laughed aloud and covered her mouth in embarrassment almost immediately. C.J. chuckled at her modesty before instinctively brushing a strand of hair from her face. Dawn’s cheeks flushed at the contact and she hugged herself tightly.

“Well, I better go,” she stammered. “I’m still looking for payback on that dear old niece of mine.” On his perplexed look, she waved her hand. “Don’t ask.”

“Sure,” he said and couldn’t hide the disappointment in his voice.

“It was nice meeting you, Cedrik,” she smiled and started to walk past him.

“Are you gonna be here awhile longer?” He asked and Dawn thought she caught a trace of hope in his tone.

“At least a few more hours.”

“That’s good. Maybe we’ll run into each other again before the day’s out.”

“Maybe,” Dawn whispered just loud enough for him to hear before waving back at him shyly and walking away.

“Well,” Cedrik said to himself, “if it’s up to me, that will definitely happen.” He couldn’t conceal the grin on his face as he walked back to his friends who had already started teasing him from afar.

The pain was something that, a year ago, would have been expected. A sharp jolt to the skull, kind of like being cracked by a sledgehammer, always accompanied their delivery. She’d get up (with help, of course), recite what she saw before downing two or three (sometimes even four) aspirins with a glass of water and then-hey-back to normal. Of course, that didn’t include the little sidebar that the supernatural migraines were turning her brain to mush but that was okay. Once she became part demon, said migraines immediately following the PTB’s glorious emailing system had become a thing of the past.

Now, as she writhed on the floor, screaming incoherently, Cordelia was reminded a little too bluntly how bad the visions used to be. More than that, however, her mind's eye saw that her pain, however mind-numbing was nothing compared to…

"Angel!" Cordelia screamed as the final visions assaulted her mind. Not ten seconds later, the dark vampire was by her side, followed by Gunn and Fred.

"Cordy," Angel said as he held the limp woman in his lap. "Cordy, answer me. It's Angel, I'm here."

"What happened?" Gunn asked.

"I…I don’t know," Angel conceded. "It looks like she had a vision."

"But she hasn't been one with the cosmic migraine since she…"

"Became part demon, I know," the vampire ground out. His hands held her shoulders firmly as her body slowly came down from the seizures. He wiped away the blood from where she had bitten her lip. Time stood still for Angel as he watched Cordy's now unmoving form nestled in his arms. It felt so good, so right for her to be here. Unfortunately, the reason was not quite what he would have wanted.

"Here's a pillow, for her head," Fred whispered as she kneeled down next to Angel and the vampire glanced at her. He hadn't even realized that she and Gunn, who followed her and took position on the opposite side of Cordelia, had gotten up.

"Three industrial strength aspirin and a cup of water for our very own oracle." Gunn smiled at his fallen comrade, hoping that he could will her eyes open. It was a gesture that he shared with the two others across from him.

"Do you think we should move her to the couch?" Fred asked and her eyes sought those of her boyfriend. The fear and helplessness within her fell away temporarily as she stared into Gunn's loving eyes.

"Fred's right, my man," Gunn conceded. "As comfortable as it probably is in your lap, maybe she'll be better off over on the couch." The two lovers waited for Angel to respond to the suggestion and, after several seconds, he nodded and lifted the seer into his arms effortlessly.

It took a few minutes for Cordelia to open her eyes, and when she did, Angel's undead heart seized in his chest at the pain and fear reflected in her irises.

"Cordy," he said and took her hand. Although the seizures had subsided, her body still trembled, though it was not from physical injury. "What is it?"

Tears cascaded down the woman's cheeks as she took in the man before her. No longer had Cordelia thought of Angel anything but that. True, a demon resided inside his flesh but that did not make him less of a man. On the contrary, it made him more. Most people had their own internal demons to battle in order to remain on the path of righteousness, but with Angel, he had to battle his own demons and not just in the metaphorical sense but the literal as well. Everyday his soul warred with his natural instincts and everyday his resilience to fight against the darkness grew. He was strong of mind, body and soul. The fact that his past was covered in darkness was irrelevant now because he was now the champion of the light. He was the embodiment of redemption, a man who was determined to make amends for his past mistakes, no matter how long it took. And no matter what obstacles were in his path, he would find his way around them.

It was for all those reasons that Cordelia had fallen helplessly in love with him.

She pulled Angel close to her, pushing away the memories of his face, twisted in evil as it glared contemptuously down at Buffy. She could not let herself imagine that. The look in his eyes had been so hateful, so cold, quite the opposite of the warmth that greeted her only moments ago. It had been even more terrifying than Angelus, that scornful sneer in her vision. It couldn’t have been him, But what if it was? What if something caused him to relieve that one true moment of happiness? - Ripping his soul away. What if it had been…?

"Cordy?" This time it was Gunn, his tone soft and worried, just like Angel's had been. She stared at him over Angel's shoulder as she clung to the vampire. For some reason, the picture of her fellow comrade and his girlfriend stabilized the brunette and she gently pushed Angel away.

"I'm…I'm fine, guys," she lied. Their looks told her that they knew that she wasn't though they said nothing of it. She ran a hand through her short hair and inhaled deeply. Angel's comforting scent, a mixture of leather, blood and cologne assaulted her and she smiled inwardly. His hands still rested on her hips and she didn’t mind one bit. She exhaled sharply, knowing what she had to say to him, knowing that, in less than a day, they would be headed down the road and back to that small little town that she had once called home.

"It's Buffy," she said and although she knew what his reaction would be, it still hurt to see the concerned frown mold his face. God, Cordy, she thought derisively. Selfish much?

"Is she all right?"

"Well, she will be." Cordelia dropped her gaze to Angel's strong forearms. She placed her hands on them, her fingers kneading his tense muscles. When she looked back up, the tension that had appeared at the mention of his ex's name was a distant memory. Of course, it would return in full force once the whole story came from her lips.

"But not for long," she said and brought a hand to his cheek.

"That doesn't sound too encouraging," Fred's meek voice sounded in the silence.

"How bad?" The vampire almost growled and the seer flinched though she knew the anger was not directed at her.

"Bad bad. As in 'end of the world' bad."

"Like I'd expect anything less," Gunn bit sarcastically and massaged the back of his neck with one hand.

"Oh, it's more than 'apocalypse' bad," Cordelia replied and stared directly into Angel's dark eyes.

"What?" He whispered, realizing that she was speaking directly to him.

"Whatever it is that's coming is bad. And if we survive, we're never going to be the same." Angel sighed. He wanted to tell her that he already knew that much from his distinguished experiences of being on both sides of an impending apocalypse. Even if all did survive they were changed, another coat of innocence stripped away. But that was life for them. She should have been used to that by now. That's what he wanted to say.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he held his tongue. The conviction behind her words, the truth he read in her eyes was what got to him. It wasn’t just because Cordelia believed it that he conceded. There was also that prickling feeling at the back of his neck that continued to grow, had been growing ever since Connor had been taken from him. He had, at first, thought it was nothing more than grief; grief and hope that his son would be returned to him. But that had been two months ago and still there had gotten no answers on how to retrieve the infant and yet, the uneasiness remained. Now, as he stared longingly into Cordelia's eyes, Angel knew why it had never left.

Whatever it was she had seen, whatever it was that awaited them in Sunnydale would fundamentally change them forever.

The only thing Angel wasn't sure of was if that change would be for the good.

Or a sharp left turn into a world of badness.

*&*

Faith groaned as she limped up the steps, weapons bag slung over her shoulder. Her whole body felt like one big bruise.

"A bruise and then some," she grumbled to herself when she reached the second floor. She walked into the bathroom and closed the door, letting the bag slip onto the floor. The blonde stuck her tongue out at the weary face that stared back at her through the mirror.

"I look wonderful," she smiled sarcastically at her blood and dirt encrusted features. Tonight had been her first full night of patrolling since…well, since she’d been here. Her and Spike had left for patrol at around nine, done some patrolling together before splitting up at around eleven or so. Of course, after separating, she would get hounded the entire night by demons and vampires. She had lost count of how many she dusted but judging from the burning in her chest, her lungs sure as hell hadn’t.

She grimaced when the rough edge of the face rag rubbed the gash in her forehead the wrong way. Oh well, she thought, nothing but a little pain.

Finishing up with her face, the slayer stripped down and hopped into the shower. She turned the water all the way over till it was nearly scalding her skin. The heat was a welcome distraction from the throb of her muscles and tendons, especially the throb that radiated from her right knee.

As much as she had told everyone her leg was fine, it was far from it. Not that it kept her up at night or anything but when she put too much stress on it, like, say, when she was fighting for her life, the discomfort was very real. Taking out at least a dozen demons, several of whom had gotten a few good licks in, two of whom stood out for throwing her though tombstones no less, was the reason for the full tilt boogie on the pain as it was now. Her slayer healing would make the pain go away by the time she got up in the morning but that didn’t help her much at the moment. No, the only thing that was helping was the lovely feel of water scorching her skin.

By the time Faith exited the shower the water had cooled significantly. She took a few minutes to dry off and gingerly applied baby oil to her skin before wrapping a cold compress around her right knee. She’d keep it on fifteen minutes and would take it of before getting in bed. And that way Spike would never have to find out. Satisfied that everything was in order, she gathered her belongings in her arms and hobbled to the room she shared with Dawn, mindful of the towel wrapped around her petite frame.

Once in the room, she silently went about her business, putting her weapons away and getting dressed in the darkness. She was mindful of the noise, knowing that Dawn still had a few more weeks of school left. How the teen remained so strong in light of everything that had happened was a mystery to Faith but, like her, Dawn was a Summers woman and the slayer took no small pride in the strength of her heritage.

Taking a few minutes to brush her growing hair, Faith finally climbed into bed after removing the compress on her knee, thankful that Dawn hadn’t claimed the entire surface as her own. She had remained on her side, giving Faith half the mattress and possibly a chance at a decent night’s sleep.

"Sleep," she muttered dreamily as the word immediately began to fade from her mind. The aches of her body were suddenly a distant memory as the warmth of rest twirled its thin tendrils of influence around her entire being. A tiny smile creased her lips as she rushed to greet the restful unconsciousness. She was almost there when the silent click of a door opening coincided with her mind bolting awake as it remembered something she had chronicled in her diary over a month ago.

"Mum," she said into the darkness, her voice carrying through the air. She heard the quiet beat of footsteps up the stairs and then the light knock at the door.

"Bitlet," Spike whispered before slowly opening the door. Faith barely registered the presence of her father as images not her own flooded her mind…

"Faith," Spike said and winced when Dawn mumbled in her sleep but returned his attention back to his daughter, thankful that the younger girl did not waken. "C’mon, Bitlet, snap out of it." He grabbed her shoulders and tried to keep his tone light but a hint of worry tinged his words. He had been uneasy all night, his predatory instincts screaming in his ears that something was wrong. Though it had been the first time Faith had patrolled without him, Spike doubted that that was the reason for his unease. No, it was something else. Something having to do with…

"…Her," Faith’s voice broke through his whirling thoughts.

"What was that, ‘let?" He asked and dropped his hands from her shoulders. He gasped at the smile she graced him with. So like Buffy yet still her own.

"Go to her."

"Go to who, pet?" He asked. Faith cocked her head to the side, clearly annoyed but before she said anymore, Spike’s eyes sparkled with understanding and love. He kissed her on the forehead and sped out the room.

Five seconds later, Faith heard the distinct slam of the front door.

Three seconds after that, the revving engine of the de Soto shattered the silence of the night.

Two seconds following, Faith heard tires peel as Spike was undoubtedly about to break every speed limit known to man.

Three seconds later as she heard him turn the corner, Faith’s head hit the pillow, a content sigh escaping her lips before she allowed sleep to finally claim her.

Her last thought was that the next time she opened her eyes Buffy would be awake. They would be a family again.

And nothing in the world could make Faith happier.

What would normally have been a twenty minute drive was made in five, thanks to reckless driving, vampiric reflexes and, hey, a tank on wheels.

Spike stopped in the front of Sunnydale Memorial, the front tires of the de Soto resting on the sidewalk. Cutting off the engine, he leapt out of the car without closing the door. He heard several shouts of protest and threats of security as he tore through the first floor. He vaguely felt the light shock to his brain when he pushed an orderly out of the way as he ran towards the steps. It took less than five seconds to climb the three flights of steps to reach Buffy's floor. A few seconds after he rammed through the stairwell door, he found himself in front of her room.

The adrenaline that propelled him the last few minutes was sapped from his being in an instant as he stared at her through the glass. The hope that bloomed within his chest curdled into doubt and his excitement dwindled into fear, as he stood, immobile, only a few feet away from the love of his unlife. He wanted so much to hold her again in his arms, to have her whisper her love to him as he promised her the world. He wanted to feel her warm lips against his cool ones, to hear her moan into his mouth as they reconnected with one another, never to be separated again. Oh, how he wanted that and all that was between them was one insignificant door.

A single door and his own terror.

Spike had given no time about the validity of Faith's statement on his way over but now his mind wouldn’t let go of the possibility that his daughter's words were nothing more than talking in her sleep. He was afraid of going into the room and finding out that Buffy was still lost in her coma. If that was the case, the vampire didn’t know how he would cope, thus his hesitation. It was better not to know than to have his hopes crushed.

"Quit being such a git," he scolded himself and ran a shaky hand through his platinum locks. "Bitlet wasn’t dreamin', you ninny. Now, go in there and sit by your woman till she wakes up."

Satisfied with the self-imposed pep talk, Spike reached up towards the door and slowly pushed it open. He winced at the minute creek of the hinges but continued on until there was enough room for him to slip through. Once inside, he closed the door softly. He stared at the handle, his shoes and through the window--anything to keep him from turning around and facing the petite woman in the bed. Be a man, Spike, he chided himself. Slayer's always counted on you to be strong. Now's no different. Show 'er that she wasn't wrong about you.

Taking a deep breath, Spike turned around. Words failed him as he caught sight of Buffy. She looked so at peace, so at ease, as if there was nothing in the world wrong with her. Not even the IVs that stuck in her arm marred the image of his beautiful goddess. He closed the distance between them slowly, afraid to disturb Buffy's peaceful slumber. He stopped less than a foot from the bed, close enough to touch but far enough away so as not to intrude on her privacy.

"Hey, luv," he whispered and inched forward even more. His thighs brushed against the mattress and his hands clenched and unclenched at his sides. He wanted nothing more than to stroke her face, whisper in her ear that she was not alone. But as much as he longed to touch her, another part of him was afraid that the simple, innocent contact that he craved would do nothing but shatter the image of peace he saw before him.

Get off it, mate. Sooner on later you're gonna have ta do it. Might as well be now. Taking another deep, unnecessary breath, Spike reached out tentatively towards Buffy's cheek. He shivered when his fingertips glided across her warm flesh and he struggled not to pull her into his arms.

"Hey, Buffy," he said and leaned closer towards her. "It's me, Spike. Sorry bout not comin' by last night, 's just that I told Faith I'd let her patrol alone tonight and, well, I wanted to make sure there weren't any ultra Big Bad wannabes tryin' to snack on our daughter. Figure if she got roughed up, you'd make sure to kick my arse right an' proper. Speakin' of arse kickin's, you should've seen me the other night, pet. I was wonderful if I don’t say so myself. See, there were these two Lei-ach demons. You remember 'em, don’t ya? From when Glinda did that spell to conceal her demon self. Anyway, like I said, these two Lei-ach…"

As Spike wove his tale of patrolling, the doubt he had felt earlier gradually dissipated as he scooted carefully onto the bed, his right arm propping up his head while his left hand tenderly stroked the back of Buffy's hand. Soon, he had forgotten (or more to the fact, pushed out of his mind) about what Faith had said. Instead, he was intent on passing this night with Buffy just as any other night he stayed with her.

Not long after he had slid onto the bed had Spike began to doze and, several minutes after his initial head nod, the vampire was asleep, holding the limp hand of Buffy.

If he would have staved off sleep for two minutes longer, he would have felt the small fingers of the slayer tighten around his hand.

*&*

"Angel," Cordelia yelled at the swiftly moving vampire. She hadn't been vertical five minutes before Angel had left her side, intent on gathering supplies for their short notice trek to Sunnydale. He had ignored her requests to settle down and think about things, replying over his shoulder that they didn’t have time. Like he's the one with the visions, she growled internally. As much as she loved Angel, she couldn’t help but be frustrated by his insufferable "This is what we're going to do" way of doing things.

"Gunn," he said as he scavenged the weapons case, "you and Fred stay here with Cordelia."

"Come again, bro?"

"Buffy needs help but not all of us. And since I don’t know how long it's going to take, someone has to stay here and keep the Agency running."

"I agree on that last part my man but thinking that you're gonna be enough to help Buffy when whatever it is has Cordy being one with the Tylenols--I mean, no offense, but I don’t think you're gonna be able to cut it goin' solo."

"Well, it'll have to do," he replied absently. The truth was that if what was coming was strong enough to give Cordy a major migraine despite her new hybrid self--well, he had to agree with Gunn on that assessment. Still, he would never admit that to them.

"Well, I don’t like it," Gunn persisted. "I mean if…"

"You don’t have to like it," Angel growled, interrupting the man. "Just do it."

"Um, excuse me, Mr. Take Charge," Cordelia interrupted, "but you're not the boss of us anymore."

"Cordy…"

"Don’t 'Cordy' me. You are not our boss. Ever since you went all 'I wanna lose my soul' last year, you have worked for us or, at the very least, this has been a partnership."

"Cordy," The vampire muttered, clearly trying to reign in his temper, "we don’t have time for this."

"That's where you're wrong," she replied. "We do have time and, if you would stop with the double-time march over there, you would have known that by now."

"All right, then how much time do we have?" He asked condescendingly.

"I don’t know…" Cordelia started.

"Well, then, do you think we should wait until you think it's time and then head out? Do you want to take that risk?"

"I don’t know exactly long we have but I do know that a few days of preparation will be a lot better than going in, guns blazing, in the middle of the night with no clue as to what's going on. Besides, Gunn is right." Cordelia's voice softened as she grabbed Angel's hand. "As good as you are, Angel, what I saw coming--you're not going to be able to do it alone. You--and Buffy--are going to need us."

"And me," a familiar voice sounded from the front of the lobby. All heads turned towards the door and saw the petite brunette, dressed in all black staring back at them.

"Faith?" Angel questioned in disbelief before striding across the room and to the slayer. "What are you doing here? Did you break out?" Faith cringed slightly at the disappointment she heard in Angel's voice but steadied herself. Bruised feelings weren't quite on the list of high priorities at the moment.

"Long story that’s so not important right now. But what is important is that May Queen's right," Faith said and shot a smirk at Cordelia before returning her attention back to Angel. "As good as you are, lover, it's not gonna be enough for B. Hell, I don’t even know if me and that undead boy toy of hers will be able to make a difference."

"Undead boy toy?" Angel repeated.

"Yeah, the Billy Idol wannabe. The one with the killer cheekbones." Faith bit her lip when she saw the flecks of gold dot the vampire's irises when he realized what she was talking about. "But that's not the point."

"I'll kill him if he's touched her," Angel growled.

"Listen, stud muffin," Faith said, "as much as I enjoy a guy fight, now's not the time for the bruised ego bit. We're gonna need everybody on the same team here and if you're gonna get into a pissing contest with the gorgeous undead when we get back to Sunny D, then keep your broody ass here."

Silence filled the room as the others glanced from Faith to Angel then back again. The tiny slayer folded her arms across her chest and tapped her foot impatiently. "So, what's it gonna be?" She asked Angel after a few minutes.

The vampire balled his hands into fists, relishing the pain as his nails cut into his flesh. He took several steadying breaths before addressing Faith.

"You said we have some time. How much time do we have?"

"Not long," she replied. "Not long at all. I suggest we get a move on within the next two days."

"Two days?" Gunn asked, wrapping his arms around a shivering Fred. "Why two days?"

"Well, the main course may not be here for a while yet, but that doesn't mean that there won't be appetizers while we wait."

"You saw all this?" Fred asked.

"That," Faith said and her eyes locked on Cordelia, "and a whole helluva lot more."

*&*

Pain ripped through him as he exited the portal, his body spasming as the cool breeze assaulted his flesh. Gathering his bearings quickly, he studied his surroundings, noting that he was in some sort of warehouse. The broken windows offered no protection from the elements or prying eyes so he wandered further back into the deserted maze before he was satisfied with his current location.

Laying down behind several large boxes, the demon nestled into the concrete, the discomfort of the hard surface on his back drawing a tight smile from his lips. His Master had told him to feast, to cause havoc, but not to touch the slayers. And he would lose himself in the pain and suffering of others soon enough but for now, he would rest.

And as he fell into unconsciousness, Algolagniar shivered in anticipation of what was in store for this quaint little town when he awoke.

*&*

The scent was the first thing she noticed. Tobacco, leather and strength wafted through the air and to her nostrils, beating away the residual panic she had felt as she surfaced from the blackness of her own mind. When consciousness was within her reach, she grasped at it with all that she had, determined not to remain in the world of dreams that plagued her the last…what? --Days? Weeks? Years? To be honest, she had no idea how long she had been gone and was dreading to find out. Last time it had been a hundred and forty-seven days. To her, however, it was like an eternity and an instant rolled into one. But unlike that time, she had wanted nothing more than to return to her family. To Dawn. To Giles and the Scoobies.

To the man that was by her side.

Buffy smiled at the sleeping form of her vampire lover. He had told her he would never leave her side and here he was, adhering to a promise despite not knowing when she would awaken. Waking up with him next to her was indescribable. The part of her that was aware during the time she slept was terrified that she would wake up--cold and alone, clawing her way through mounds of dirt. A part of her, for that very reason, wanted nothing more than to remain ignorant of what reception she would receive when she opened her eyes. But she hadn't been alone. Spike was here for her, by her side. Just like he always was.

Tears trickled down Buffy's cheeks as she studied the face of the man who had fought against his nature because of his love for her. He had taken the worst she had to offer and, instead of running away, he only loved her more. Buffy bit her lip, stifling the sob that begged to be released.

I don’t deserve this, she thought and gripped his hand tighter. I don’t deserve what Spike has given me. I'm such a bitch--how could he love me so much after everything I did?

But he does, another voice whispered in her ear. Does it really matter if you don’t feel worthy of it so long as he does? .

And yet he remains by your side, true to you. And he always will. The final words spoken by a part of her that had slowly emerged the last few months quieted the slayer's doubts. The voice was right. No matter what she thought of herself or what she 'deserved', Spike's love was given to her free of conditions save for one hope. To love him unconditionally. Just as he loved her.

Shaking the thoughts from her mind, Buffy leaned over to the sleeping vampire, mindful of the IVs embedded in her flesh. She smiled when he jerked slightly as her free hand cupped his cheek. The scowl that lined his face melted into a contented smile when she stroked his face and he leaned into the touch, purring as he did so.

Buffy giggled at the sound before sobering up. As much as she loved watching him sleep like this, as peaceful as he looked, Buffy wanted to look into those beautiful blue eyes. Eyes that held an unfathomable love for her. She had to see them to erase the insecurities that her own past had carved into her. Only then, watching him drink her with a glance, would she feel safe and secure.

"Spike," she whispered and stifled another laugh as her breath tickled his ear. "Baby, wake up." He mumbled tiredly before turning towards her, still asleep. Buffy would have laughed again but the slight jut of his lips caught her attention. Her tongue moistened her own automatically as she replayed the hundreds of kisses those lips had delivered to her.

Unable to resist the call, Buffy closed the distance between them and brushed a feathery kiss to Spike. Chaste at first, it didn’t take long for her to want more and her demanding mouth probed his lips and, before long, he responded with equal fervor. She moaned when his hands roamed over her body and Buffy returned the favor, cupping the bulge in his pants with the roughness he liked. Their tongues battled for custody of the other and Buffy moaned his name breathlessly.

And just like that, the kiss ended.

Fully awake now, well behind other parts of him, Spike pulled back and stared at the vision before him. Yes, it had to be a vision because his Buffy was…

"Spike?" The sound of his name on her lips was unbearable and he gasped. It was a far cry from manly but, at that moment, Spike cared for nothing else save for the beautiful angel with hazel eyes that shone with love. It had been so long since he had seen those eyes--seemingly a lifetime, but they were open now. Open and hazy.

Spike shook his head, trying to clear the blurry image before him. Buffy's hand cupped his cheek before her thumb brushed away the moisture that had fallen from his eyes. He watched her in fascination, still oblivious to the tears that poured from his eyes in waves. It reminded him all too much of that first time he had seen her descend the steps after being dead for so long. But this, this was something entirely different. No matter what he told himself, loving her alone was never enough. And as much as he loved her then, nothing could compare to the feeling of knowing that she loved him just as much. That everything that was Buffy Summers was for him now. Him and him alone.

It was then that the sobs that had caught in his throat erupted.

"Shhh, baby, it's okay," Buffy whispered and peppered his face with kisses as he hugged her tight. "I'm here now, see? I'm here baby and I'm not going anywhere." Her words only made him cry harder and Buffy winced as his arms tightened around her though she said nothing. She would take any discomfort the world threw at her if it would soothe the pain inside her beautiful vampire. Her beautiful man.

It took several minutes before Spike regained control of his emotions. Slowly, as if any sudden movements would drive her away, Spike lifted his head and gazed into the teary eyes of the slayer. His slayer. Though he had been in his own world, relief and fear blocking most things out, her words of love had reached him, tethering him to this plane. Without them, he thought he may have incinerated by the heat of his emotions alone.

Spike opened his mouth to speak but only managed a hoarse whisper. His mind ceased functioning as Buffy graced him with a soft smile she rarely showed, even to Dawn. That smile made him want to confess his love and devotion to her all over again but when he finally regained the use of his voice, the words he finally spoke to her were not his first choice.

"Your eyes are all puffy." The look on her face was priceless and he would definitely tease her about it later. But now, there was nothing but her.

After the initial shock of Spike's first words, Buffy chuckled before running the back of her hand once again across the cheek of the awestruck vampire. "Looks whose talking--you made my shirt all sticky. Never knew that vampires had snot." She smirked at him at this last bit and was relieved to see the paralysis melt away. The sheer joy in his smile took her breath away and Buffy could not help but fall in love with her angel all over again.

Better not tell him that, she thought amusedly. He may get the wrong idea. No, Spike didn’t need any reminder at all about the great poof. No, he needed every reassurance that she was here to stay.

"…To you." She snapped out of her thoughts in time to catch the last part. "I didn’t wanna believe 'er, but I did--believe 'er I mean. She said that you'd want me 'ere, luv. She said it."

"Who, Spike?"

"Bitlet, luv. Our daughter. I think she saw you, in a slayer dream." At the mention of the latter, Buffy cringed. The dreams that invaded her mind during her coma reintegrated themselves into her now conscious mind. Not fully able to comprehend them, she pulled Spike a little tighter and burrowed her face into his chest. Spike assumed it was at the mention of their daughter's name and he stroked her back and reassured her that everything was okay.

"I know, luv. I know you wanna see Bitlet and Dawn and the others. I'll ring them right away." He moved to get up but her slayer strength kept him bolted to her side. "Luv, what's wrong?" He asked and lifted her chin up with his finger. Her eyes had once again filled with tears and Spike frowned at the display. He shrugged it off immediately, assuming she was so happy to see her friends again.

"Don’t go," she murmured and her hands pulled him even closer, if that were possible.

"I'm not goin' anywhere, luv. I was just gonna call the Scoobies.

"No," she said and ran her fingers through his hair. "Not…not yet. I--I just want to have you to myself for a little while. I want you to hold me. Will you hold me?" she asked and he almost withered at the fear in her tone.

Nodding to her, Spike pulled his tiny slayer closer, burying his face in her hair that, somehow still smelled of vanilla and spices. He smiled when she kicked the covers off and snaked her leg between his.

He listened to each beat of her heart, each breath that she drew as it all started to even out. But before she succumbed to sleep, Buffy whispered to Spike, "Love me forever?"

Spike nuzzled her hair and closed her eyes. How could he tell her that, no matter what, he would always love her? That no one else would ever have his heart like she did? There was so much he wanted to tell her but now was not the time. As much as he wanted to write sonnets about his love for her, as much as he wanted to tell her he loved her in every language known to man and demon alike, he also knew that sometimes, the simplest of answers were often the most poignant. Armed with that knowledge, Spike whispered to her just how long he would love her.

"Till the end of the world, luv. Till the end of the world."

TBC…