Severed Ties

"I sorry," Faith said, "I don’t think I heard you right."

Xander smiled and stroked his trimmed beard. The past few days had been uneventful in terms of a big bad, but it had given him a chance to interact with Faith. The two of them had gone on patrol every night, splitting the duties with Spike, Buffy and Jay. Patrols had been uneventful and he and Faith had gotten to know one another; they'd even shared a steamy after-patrol kiss the night before that the Newlyweds (everyone's term for Spike and Buffy) had broken up. That had been an end to the potential festivities for the night and the two had gone their separate ways. It had taken Xander several hours to get to sleep, unable to push the jasmine scent of Faith's hair and raspberry tang of her lips from his mind. It wasn’t until he had resolved to do something about it instead of have fanciful dreams that he fell into a fitful rest.

So here he was, carrying out his late night resolution, amidst a pile of laundry in the basement and ignoring the butterflies that danced in his belly.

"You heard me right," he replied, and gave the slayer his best smirk.

"Well, spell it out for me again. You know I dropped out of high school."

"Faith," he said, and took her hand (was she shaking?), "will you go out with me tonight? On a date."

The brunette's eyes widened at his question and for a moment, Xander thought she would say no. That is, until her face split into the most radiant smile he had ever seen.

"You bet your sweet Paul Bunyan ass I will," she said, and bit her lip, embarrassed. "Uh, that would be a yes."

"So I gathered," he smiled. He dropped her hand and the familiar jitters of what to do next filtered through the room. Xander's eyes traveled between Faith and his own boots, and he refrained from the urge to push her against the wall and kiss her senseless.

Surprisingly to him, that same nervousness was plastered all over Faith's beautiful face. She wasn’t one to show unease and this new part of her, the part he'd been acquainting himself with over the last week, was a welcome addition to her already impressive repertoire.

"So," she said, and kicked at the rug, "we gonna make out like a couple teenagers or do you wanna wait till after the date?"

"Well, we could wait…"

"Of course, there was the whole Buffy-interrupto last night…"

"True, damn true."

Their eyes lowered to the concrete floor of the basement before their gazes locked, mischief gleaming in two sets of brown eyes. "Make out!" they said in unison and closed the distance between them. After that, all thoughts of laundry were gone.

~~~

"You are not wearing that, missy," Buffy said to the lanky teen in front of her.

"Why not?" Dawn pouted.

"Aside from the fact that I said so? Hmmm, let me think; it's too short, Spike could go on a homicidal rage and kill your date, and, yeah, it's too short."

"You wore shorter skirts than this when you were my age."

"Perks of being the elder sibling," Buffy replied, and nodded in satisfaction when Dawn stomped back to the closet.

"You're just jealous cause I'm taller than you," the teen said over her shoulder, but Buffy ignored the barb. Instead, she concentrated on the coming night. Her little sister, former brat Dawn Summers, was going out on her first date. It was something that, after their Mom died; Buffy had never given thought to. Hell, she didn’t know how she'd help Dawn make it to that period much less give thought to her dating. But they had made it. With the help of the Scoobies and Spike, Dawn had continued her journey to womanhood, even while Buffy had been gone. And it seemed that since the resurrection, Buffy had watched Dawn age with a frightening rapidity.

"How about this?" Dawn asked. Buffy regarded her sister's next choice; a pair of white Capri's with a matching white tank; she held Buffy's white jacket, too, which was a perfect complement. Buffy thought to the purity that white symbolized and knew that, despite Dawn's experiences with the darkest things imaginable, she was just that; pure. Yes, her mother and sister had both died, but Dawn had yet to be tainted by the heartbreak of losing a lover and that was something Buffy hoped her little sister never experienced.

"Perfect," Buffy whispered, unable to keep the hitch out of her voice. She walked over to Dawn and gave her a spontaneous hug.

"Buffy?" Dawn asked. "Are you okay?"

"Just fine, Dawnie," the slayer replied, wiping at her eyes, "just fine."

~~~

Spike hated that Saturday night twilight time. It wasn't about being stuck in the house because, hello, twilight. And it wasn’t

that demons generally refused to appear en masse till about ten or eleven.

No, it was the fact that there was bugger all on in the way of televised entertainment.

"Bloody hell," he murmured and he flipped through the channels with the foreboding certainty that absolutely nothing of value would be on for the next hour and a half.

"You know," Jay said from her curled up position on the couch, magazine in hand, "you really should really think about other forms of entertainment, such as reading."

"Sure thing, Bitlet," he replied, "toss me that Cosmo why don’t ya. Maybe I can get the scope on that Sarah Gellar chit and that poof of a hubbie of hers."

"Sounds like someone's jealous," she sung and turned the page.

"Of that Prinze bloke?" He asked incredulously. "Give your Da some credit. There's no reason I should be jealous of that pillock. 'Sides, the last several hairstyles he 'as seriously puts him in contention for his own Queer as Folk show."

"Freddie Prinze is not gay, Daddy. Geez Louise."

Spike sat up in the chair and studied his daughter with wide eyes. For several seconds, she was unaware of Spike's gaze and frowned into the magazine. Finally, she turned annoyed eyes at her father. "What?"

"Sorry, 'let," Spike said, shaking his head, "but for a moment there, thought you said 'Geez Louise'. Must've been my mistake." He stifled a laugh when her face lit up with a blush.

"Yeah," she said, "your mistake." Spike chuckled at her embarrassment but his mirth quickly trailed off as he regarded his daughter with serious eyes.

In the months that she had been there, Jay had changed drastically. It wasn’t as much physical as it was emotionally, though there was definite changes in the former. For one, her once short hair now hung past her shoulders though it was often bunched in a sloppy ponytail. The scars that adorned her body had faded, thanks to Willow, Tara and Dawn. They had done their best to lessen the marks and, aside from a handful of indentations (one being the still visible jagged line down the side her face) she was flawless.

But it was her attitude that had been altered most of all. She had opened up to them, displaying the entire range of her emotions. She was confident and sarcastic, caring and understanding and quite easy on the eyes; she definitely took after her parents in a variety of ways, including her self-doubt.

"Bitlet?"

"Yeah?" she returned, never looking up from the magazine.

"Why don’t you ever go out?"

At Spike's question, she glanced over at him. "I do go out. With the wonderful Wiccas, with Dawnie and Mum. Even went shopping with Faith the other day."

Spike smiled. Oh, he remembered her and Faith returning with an armful of shopping bags that contained some truly less than covering articles of clothing. "Not what I meant, luv." Spike sighed, the irony of what he was about to ask her not lost on him. "Why don’t you date?" The surprise in her face was something he'd rarely seen on her and if he weren’t paying attention, the flit of shame would have gone unnoticed.

"Just really don’t feel like it," she said evasively, and returned her eyes back to the magazine.

Spike turned the television off and tossed the remote onto the floor. He stood and made his way over to the couch with careful strides. Jay started to shrink within herself when he took a seat and the vampire frowned at her distance.

"Faith, sweetie," he said, and his fingers grazed her shoulder. Thankfully, she didn't pull away. "What is it?"

The young woman shrugged. "I just…I just don’t feel…"

"Don’t feel what?"

She closed the magazine and tossed it on the coffee table. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself and Spike smiled at the image before him; it was a free glimpse of what she probably looked like as a child.

Jay nibbled her lower lip and cast swift glances towards Spike and he noticed her discomfort. Slowly putting his arm around her and drawing her into his embrace, Spike planted a feather-light kiss on her temple and said, "C'mon, Bitlet, it's me. You can tell me anythin'."

Nodding, Jay gave Spike a quick hug before sliding out of his embrace. She folded both legs under her and faced her father.

"I know I haven't told you guys much about, you know, my life with you guys in the future. And the whole boyfriend thing, or lack thereof, is one of 'em."

"What do you mean, you didn’t 'ave a boyfriend?" Spike asked, then fixed her with a serious look. "I didn’t eat 'em, did I?"

"No, Daddy," she said, and laughed, "although you did threaten Bobby Taylor from ever stepping foot onto Revello when he made me cry."

"And who exactly was this Bobby Taylor?"

"My thirteen-year-old crush."

"Well, the git deserved it, making my baby girl cry."

"Anyway," Jay said, and pulled a pillow into her lap, "like I said, I wasn’t exactly the boyfriend-y type girl. I mean, me and Jason Nance dated for awhile when I was sixteen."

"What happened to him?"

Jay shrugged as she fiddled with the frilled edges of the pillow. "Trademark sophomoric breakup having to do with peer pressure and lies. Not too long after that was when the drama started. After that, even during the lulls, dating was the last thing on my mind. I mean, there were guys…" On Spike's dark look she held up a hand and amended. "Not like that, Daddy, definitely not like that. Sheesh, mind out of gutter, please."

"Good, didn’t wanna have ta kill the bloke who tried touchin my girl."

"He's already dead," she whispered and Spike barely heard it.

"Jay, whatta ya mean? I thought you said…"

"Seth." Although it was one word, the heartbreak in her tone told Spike the entire story.

Oh, he remembered what she had said about Seth but Spike had never guessed that the dusted vampire had been her only experience with a man. Although she was his daughter, the thought of her never knowing the feeling of being with someone who cared and loved her as an equal sickened him and Spike wanted nothing more than to kiss away her pain.

"Bitlet…" he said and trailed off. What could he say to her? 'Sorry' that your greatest innocence was taken, ripped from you by a sadistic bastard? Nothing he could say would make it better and the rage that bubbled up inside him was moot; Seth was gone, and there was no outlet for his vengeance.

"So," she said, curiously cheerful, "now you see why I'm not all rah-rah with the dating game.

"Besides," she said, and stood up, gracing Spike with a kiss on the forehead, "I get way too much of a kick watching my two horn dog parents tryin' to keep their hands off each other."

Spike smiled as Jay flounced out of the room. That's my Bitlet, he thought wistfully. Jay would never let anything beat her, no matter how painful. She would always fight to the end and Spike couldn’t help the swell of pride that grew in his chest at the thought of his only daughter.

The knock on the door interrupted the vampire's thoughts and a sadistic smile broke out across his face. Standing, he reached his arms to the ceiling before sauntering purposefully to the door. Turning the handle, Spike slowly pulled it open to reveal an extremely nervous looking CJ dressed in khakis, a polo shirt and dark dress boots holding a single red rose.

"Hey, Spike," he said, and offered the vampire a tight smile.

"CJ," Spike replied, making sure to throw in a bit of a growl in his tone. Strangely enough, that seemed to loosen CJ up a bit too much. Oh, this will not do, the vampire thought, as he ushered the young man inside.

"Dawn's upstairs, getting ready," he said as they walked into the living room. "Sorta convenient, that, innit?"

CJ frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Just that it gives us time to chat some things out," Spike murmured, "man to…well, vampire." Spike couldn’t hide the smirk when he heard CJ's heart skip a beat before hammering as if he were running from something. Oh yeah, this was gonna be fun.

~~~

"Whoa," Dawn said as she plopped back into her seat, "that was hella fun."

"Yeah, it was," CJ said, and took the chair next to her. "Never thought I'd be the one tryin' to keep up with you."

Dawn sipped her Coke, thankful for the cool liquid. She let out a contented sigh as the soda passed her lips, glad that at least some burning fires could be doused. "Well," she said, and shrugged, "I'm just full of surprises, aren't I?"

She shivered when his knuckles grazed her chin and the look on his face as his hungry eyes devoured her turned the teen's stomach in all sorts of good ways. It also reminded her that certain fires were definitely soda-retardant.

"That you are, sweetie," he whispered, and closed the distance between them. Dawn's tongue slipped out of her mouth, moistening her lips as she leaned closer toward him. The blaring music was an afterthought to the pounding of the teenager's heart as her eyes zeroed in on the kissing target. So close, she thought. Just what she had been waiting for all night…

The evening had started on a rocky note. She had descended the steps with the intent to knock CJ's proverbial socks off, but of course pseudo brother-in-law had had CJ occupied, obviously threatening the young man with bodily harm should he touch his Nibblet. On the ride over, CJ had been uncharacteristically quiet (of course riding on a motorcycle was in no way conducive to idle conversation) although he livened up during the movie. By the time they had reached the Bronze, he'd been back to his normal self: sexy, charming and quite desirous. And now, with him being so close…

"So, you wanna dance some more?" CJ said, and Dawn blinked.

"Huh?"

"I said do you wanna dance some more?" She stared at him incredulously, searching for why they weren't engaged in a fierce lip lock. He was obviously reticent about giving her an explanation, considering his questioning eyes looking down at her. She took his proffered hand--and pulled him back down into the chair.

"Hey, what was that for?"

"You tell me," Dawn said and crossed her arms expectantly. CJ averted his eyes.

"I don’t know what you mean."

"What-the-freak ever, CJ. You know what I'm talking about. The kissage," Dawn hissed and pushed back the surprise at her candor.

"Kissage?" he repeated and his half hidden smirk only frustrated Dawn even more.

"You know exactly what I mean. We were point two seconds away from a major lip lock and you just pull away."

All pretense of hiding his amusement faded, and CJ broke out in a grin. "Pretty sure of yourself, aren't you?"

"I just know how to read the signs."

"So I'm giving off signs now?"

Dawn huffed and stomped her foot. "Get off the BS, CJ and tell me what's up. Did Spike say something to you about kissing me?" First chink in his armor. CJ dropped his gaze. "What did he say?"

"Nothin', D."

"What. Did. He. Say?"

"He…he saw us, D, out on the porch." He didn’t need to specify and Dawn's face contorted into a mask of horror and uber-embarrassment.

"No, he--he couldn’t," she murmured, "he would have said something…or killed you on the spot."

CJ chuckled humorlessly. "Apparently he didn’t want to cause a scene."

~~~

They sat in silence for several minutes as CJ watched the gamut of emotions pour across Dawn's face. Out of the anger, embarrassment and frustration, disbelief was the headliner. Although he hadn't known Spike long, CJ was willing to bet that the restraint the vampire called forth when CJ was nearly molesting Dawn was most likely the greatest pull of reserves the vampire had ever used. Not that CJ was complaining, however. Their talk earlier in the evening had shown the young man a different side of Spike and the lengths he would go to in order to protect Dawn.

"I don’t get it," she said, "why wouldn’t he say anything?"

CJ sighed. He'd promised Spike that he wouldn’t mention their conversation to Dawn, well, at least the details; but he needed to tell her something.

"He said that you were a teenager and teenagers make out."

"Spike said that? Are you sure there wasn't an alien spider attached to his back?"

"Huh?"

Dawn waved her hand. "It was a bad eggs thing. Anyway, I still don’t get it cause, yeah, teens do make out but what we were doing…" her cheeks flushed, "well, that was a tad more than 'just making out'."

"Yeah, I think he noticed that, too."

"So why aren't you like six feet deep now?"

"Gee, thanks, kiddo."

"You know what I mean."

CJ shrugged and took a sip of his drink. "He said as much as he loathes the idea of me puttin my hands on you, he also knows that you're Buffy's sister…"

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, that if he tells you not to do something then you'd just do it anyway to spite him."

"Would not," she said and crossed her legs in a very alluring pout. "Okay," she said on his skeptical look, "maybe he's not so wrong."

"And as much as he wants to shield you from things, he doesn’t want to make you feel like a kid."

"He's never treated me like one," Dawn whispered and CJ heard the emotion in her voice.

"He loves you, D, I can tell by the way he talks about you. He'd do anything for you."

"I know."

"That's why he threatened to rip my spleen out through my nose if I did anything--untoward," he said and took another sip.

"And that entails…"

"Anything beyond rubbing on shoulders, back, arms and the two inch free zone on your hips."

"You're kidding me."

"'Fraid not." Dawn wasn't too happy about that and CJ grabbed her hand before she could throw something. "Dawn, calm down."

"Calm down?"

"He just wants to protect you without getting too overbearing."

"And you don’t think that's overbearing?"

He shook his head. "No, I really don’t."

Dawn snorted and pulled her hand from his. "And why not?"

"Because, he saw something else in the way we were going at it that scared him."

"And what was that?"

"The fact that if we had been alone, things would have gotten out of hand."

"Out of hand? What does that--" And her hand flew to her mouth and she understood.

"Yeah," CJ said and leaned back in his chair.

"Do you think we would have?" Dawn whispered after several minutes.

"Dawn," he said, and took her hands in his, "I know we've only known each other a couple weeks or so, but when I'm near you, it's like every part of me points in your direction." When he saw her cheeks flush, he smiled apologetically. "Although I didn’t mean it in that way."

"It's okay."

"As for what would've happened if we were alone," he continued, "well, depending on what you said, we would have."

He saw her gulp and fought the urge to kiss her pulsating jugular. "Wow," she said.

"Yeah, wow." Dawn worried her bottom lip and her thumbs caressed his knuckles.

"CJ, I really like you. I mean really, really like you. And as much as I get all jumpy when you're around, I'm…"

"What, D?"

"I'm not ready for that."

"I know."

She frowned. "How do you know?"

"Because I don’t think I'm quite ready for us to…well, you know."

Dawn couldn’t keep the surprise off her face and CJ knew the question before she even asked.

"So, you mean you--never?"

"No, D, I have, but it was never with that special someone."

"Oh. So, what about since you've been here?"

Was that hope in her voice? CJ smiled to himself. Evidently Dawn Summers was making sure to lay claim to him as her Sunnydale man. Well, she didn’t have to worry about that at all.

"Not a one," he said, "although there were a couple close calls."

"Is that so?"

"Chill, sweetie," he said and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, "that was way before I met you."

"I didn’t…okay, so maybe I was going the possessive route, but you can't blame me."

"And why is that?" Dawn sighed and lowered her eyes for the first time since the conversation began. "Dawn," he said and raised her chin, "what is it?"

"It's just--it's just that I'm sixteen, CJ, and no matter how womanly I may look or try to act, I'm just a kid. But you, you're nineteen. You can get into clubs I can't, all the college sk--girls would jump on you in a second and I know that most of 'em wouldn’t mind going to bed with you."

"What's your point?"

"My point is, what do you want me for?"

Without thinking, CJ cupped Dawn's cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss. He reigned in on his desire to deepen it, though he allowed himself the opportunity to taste her. When he pulled back, she gasped and stared at him with wide eyes.

"Dawn," he said and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "you are incredible. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful you are. I wake up everyday thinking about you, and you're my last thought before I go to sleep. Do I want you in every way? Hell yeah, but I know that we're not there yet. We still have to get to know each other and sex won't help in that matter."

"But I thought it was supposed to bring people closer."

"It does, for people like your sister and Spike, who are in love already."

"Thanks for the image, CJ," she said.

CJ chuckled but focused on his point. "But for people like us, who are getting to know one another, it may screw everything else up. And I don’t wanna take that chance."

He saw the understanding in her obsidian eyes and before anything else could be said, CJ pulled her up with him and ushered her to the dance floor. When they got to a clearing, he brought her close, gasping softly at the feel of her body against his. She felt so perfect against him and, despite his words, CJ wondered how in the hell he was supposed to wait for her to be ready.

And as they swayed to the dulcet tune, CJ shook his head. He really couldn’t go against Spike's logic. Dawn was worth it. He would wait for her. Months or years, it didn’t matter, for when she was finally ready to take that next step, CJ had no doubt that he'd be beside her to take it with her.

~~~

"They seem to be having a good time," Buffy said as she took another sip from her Tequila Sunrise.

"Seems to be," Spike replied gruffly. Buffy glanced over at her boyfriend and smiled. His elbows were propped against the railing and he leaned over it, scanning the crowd like an eagle dive-bombing for a mouse. His duster covered his black ensemble and she smiled at the unlit cigarette that hung from his lips.

Despite it being her idea to 'check out the Bronze before patrol--for the safety of the people, of course, and in no way used as spy-

age on my sister, thank you very much', Spike had jumped at the prospects. Most likely because he knew that this little jaunt to the hip bar was to the tune of Dawn spy-age. Buffy didn’t know why she wanted to check Dawn out, the sisterly talk about sex and all that stuff had gone smoothly and, after a few close calls in which Buffy was tempted to call a nunnery, Dawn had come clean and been honest about not being ready for that. She also promised that when the time came, she and Buffy would have another talk about taking that next step.

"Spike," Buffy said, and nudged his arm; "she's all right. He's not gonna molest her in the middle of the dance floor, ya know."

"Reckon you must've forgotten our little Bronze show under tha coat a few months back."

Buffy blushed furiously. Oh, boy did she remember. "But it's not like he even has a duster."

"Yeah," he admitted, "but the boy's bright. He'd find some other way, believe you me."

The slayer rolled her eyes and hooked her arm through Spike's. On his questioning gaze, she cocked her head to the steps and pulled him along. "I am officially canceling our Dawn spy-age for the night. She is officially in good hands." Buffy held up a glass-filled hand. "I overrule you; sister, remember."

"Whatever, pet," Spike said disinterestedly as they walked down the steps. She caught him taking one final peek at the dance floor before ushering her through the back door.

"So," she said, after they exited the back alley, "where to next?"

"Figured we'd do a bit o' patrollin'," Spike said and laughed when Buffy sighed.
"But you said tonight was my night off."

"Don’t get your knickers in a twist, Slayer, I was just pullin your leg."

Buffy stopped and cut her eyes up at Spike. When he glanced over at her, she raked her eyes up and down his clothed form before locking her gaze on his. "But I thought you liked when I get my 'knickers in a twist'."

"Well, I…" he gulped when she pushed herself up against him and a thrill shot up Buffy's spine at the power she had over this beautiful creature.

"Cause if they're in a bunch," she said and kissed the corner of his jaw, "that means it's a wedgie, " she ran her tongue over his jaw line. Putting her hands on his shoulders, she raised up on her tiptoes and whispered breathlessly, "And to get 'em out, you could do that tongue thing."

Buffy gasped when Spike pushed her against the wall and his tongue assaulted her mouth in a way she hadn't been familiar with since coming out of her coma. She groaned when hands slipped under her white skirt and cupped her bottom. Buffy leaned into Spike, grateful for his strength as her knees buckled from the intensity. Her hands eagerly probed the muscles that lay hidden underneath his shirt and, when she started to really get worked up, it all stopped.

"What…what's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothin, luv," Spike said and his knuckles caressed her cheek.

"Then what's with the stoppage?" She frowned when he chuckled.

"Bossy lil' chit, aren't ya?"

"I sure as hell am when I ain't getting none," she huffed and started to flounce away. Of course, the weakness in her legs and the subsequent wobbling killed any statement she was trying to make.

"C'mere, pet," Spike said and grabbed her by the hips. Buffy purposefully pushed her backside into his groin and giggled when Spike murmured her name.

"I was offering," she sing-songed, "but I guess you didn’t want me. Well that serves…" She trailed off when a single keycard dangled in front of her eyes. Her brows knitted as she studied the elegant writing, and when she figured out what it said…

"The Sunnydale Arms!"

"That very same," Spike said and nibbled on her earlobe.

"But I thought that didn’t open until--"

"Tonight, luv."

She turned in his arms and glared at him with loving suspicion. "And just how did you get that, Mister?"

Shrugging, he said, " 've got connections. Could tell you all about 'em, but that wouldn’t leave me much room to talk about the suite I just so happened to get, complete with Jacuzzi and…"

Spike blinked and when he opened his eyes, Buffy was halfway down the street, keycard in hand. "I'll race you," she yelled back and continued her run, thankful for the comfort of an affordable pair of ankle boots.

She laughed when she heard Spike's growl closing but refused to look back. She knew if she did, they would never make it to the hotel, and where was the fun in that?

Scratch that, she thought, it would be damn fun and everything else. But the middle of the street versus a Jacuzzi suite…hmmm. Although Spike made any venue for lovemaking appeasing, that suite would win every damn time.

And she doubted Spike would argue the point.

~~~

"Wow," she said as she rolled off of him, and swept her damp hair out of her face.

"Yeah," he replied, "wow."

Silence permeated the room as they both stared at the ceiling. Their bodies were covered in sweat and the room was thick with the alluring scent of sex. She glanced over at him and he smiled tentatively.

"So," Xander said, "gonna kick me out this time?"

Faith winced at the remembrance of that one night. It had been his first time and she'd treated him like a piece of meat. And, if she were honest with herself, Faith had thought of doing just that a second time, although it had been a momentary thought, it had been there nonetheless.

"No," she said, casting as much nonchalance in her voice as possible, "I'm not quite done with you just yet."

"That's funny," Xander said with a smile, and disappeared under the covers, "cause I'm not quite done with you, either."

And when his tongue danced across that sensitive spot, Faith lost all form of rational thought. But not before a voice in her head whispered He's not going anywhere anytime soon; not out of this bed…and not out of my life.

My Cup Runneth Over…Spike and Buffy in a Jacuzzi Suite…'nuff said.

Buffy Summers was speechless.

On the short run to the hotel she had thought up several different scenarios she could act out once she saw the room; they ranged from flabbergasted Southern Belle to bored rich brat who'd seen it all before. Although she hadn't picked out her reaction before sliding the keycard home just before Spike's arms wrapped around her waist, she wanted said reaction to be what Spike least expected.

"So, you like?" He whispered in her ear and Buffy shivered. "Knew you would," he said and smiled into her neck. Okay, so she wasn't exhibiting that 'least expected' reaction, quite the opposite in fact. But it was difficult to do when something so wonderful was before her.

The suite--and, yes, it was that, to the nines--was decorated in a bevy of dark colors: hunter greens, burgundies and such, coordinated to perfection. The Jacuzzi lay in the far corner, near the skylight that gave the viewer a perfect view of the night sky. Not too far from the hot tub and staring out into the wall-sized window was the largest four-post bed Buffy had ever seen. Even from here she could tell that the sheets were either a fine velvet or pristine silk. She couldn’t completely say just by the way the candlelight reflected off the sheets. And speaking of candles…

The room was filled with dozens of candles, all a different shape and size. The wonderful fragrances blended perfectly, unlike her multi-scented candle experiments and Buffy marveled at whoever had been able to accomplish that particular task.

A gentle push propelled her forward and Buffy crossed the threshold. Her heels sank into the carpet and when she glanced down, it reminded her of sand during a midnight walk on the beach.

"Beautiful, innit?" The vampire behind her said and Buffy nodded, vaguely aware of the click of the door. "If you really wanna see somethin', pet, cast your eyes skyward."

Obeying his commands, Buffy gasped when her eyes fell upon the ceiling. "It…but how?"

"Should've told you that certain rooms in this establishment aren't what one would call 'for general use of the public'."

Buffy could only swallow, as she took in the twinkling stars that littered the ceiling. It reminded her of the visits to the Observatory in LA as a child, how the stars seemed to become larger than life, a direct contrast to the shell of life they resembled when staring into the sky with a naked eye. Yes, this was just like that, only it was almost as if...

"You can touch 'em…"

"Huh?" Buffy mumbled and turned to Spike.

"I said, it's almost like you can touch 'em." Buffy stared into the sapphire gaze of her lover and, before any other words were spoken, she kissed him.

Spike's muffled surprise was short-lived, and soon Buffy found herself enveloped in his strong embrace. His tongue stroked hers while his hands danced up and down her back, before sneaking underneath the boundaries of her dark blouse.

Buffy's hands were just as eager, slipping underneath Spike's black button-down shirt--worn just for her--and fondling the sharp muscles of his upper body. His hardness rubbed against her stomach and Buffy jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. The young woman was thankful that she was wearing the tight stretch pants, as friction of their two cores rubbing together was the closest they'd had to intercourse for months. The coarse fabric of the denim glanced across her clit and Buffy moaned, feeling her hips take on a mind of their own. She ground into Spike and he stumbled. She gasped when they tumbled onto the bed but their kiss was never broken. Not until Spike pulled away.

"Cor, luv," he whispered and his eyes shone with emotion nearly too intense for her to face, even now. "You are so bloody beautiful."

Although she'd heard Spike's admissions countless times, Buffy blushed under his platitudes and smiled shyly.

"You always make me feel…" but her words trailed off when she focused on the ceiling expanse just above the bed.

"You like?" Spike asked and rolled off of her. She gaped at the scene before her. In the mirror, where there should have been only one figure-- her--were two. The second figure was decked out in black and topped with a shock of platinum blonde. His cheekbones sliced the air as he smiled at her reflection.

"Right handsome bloke, ain't he?" Spike said and laid his head on her breast.

"But…what?"

"Called the Mirror or Razuel, made by the Razuel clan. Makes visible all entities, regardless of physical characteristics."

"How? I mean, how?"

"Like I said, luv, special amenities."

Buffy peeled her eyes away from the mirror and stared incredulously at her boyfriend. "Are you crazy?"

"Well," he said, and smirked, "how quickly the winds change."

"Spike, how can you be so cavalier about this. That's your freakin' reflection up there."

"So I gathered--"

"And you're all, ' 's not a big deal'," she said, and mimicked smoking a cigarette.

Spike shrugged and stared back up at the mirror. "It's not that I don’t care, luv, or that I'm not a bit intrigued; it's just that as surprising as it is to see yourself after a hundred plus years, it's nothing compared to the overwhelming urge to feel and make love to you."

Buffy's mouth opened as Spike again blindsided her with the beauty of his words. She traced the contours of his face with her fingertips before pulling him back on top of her. She kissed him but Spike pulled away and glanced at her with questioning eyes.

"I want to see you up there," she said, explaining her open eyes, "moving against me, in me. I want to see your beautiful body."

"Buffy, you always do," he said, the lust clogging his throat.

"But it's different like this, seeing it from this angle."

"Far be it from me to disappoint my lady."

~~~

Buffy's eyes flitted between Spike's face and the mirror and as much as the vampire loved the keys to her soul that those hazel orbs provided, the fascination etched across her face was enough to temper his longing for eye contact. They divested each other of clothing rapidly, not taking time for a slow undressing. There would be plenty of time for that later, but now all Spike wanted--and from her ministrations, Buffy too--was the feel of one another's flesh.

The platinum blonde gasped when Buffy's nails scraped tingly paths of arousal and pain down his back. His hands fisted in her hair as his lips claimed her neck as his own. The harder he sucked, the more she moved underneath him, and Spike had a hard time saying bugger all to the teasing. No, he wanted this to be drawn out as long as possible, even if they had the entire night to reaffirm their love.

"Want you," Buffy whimpered, writhing underneath him, "want you in me now." Spike shuddered at the need in Buffy's voice, and without a second thought he slid into her heat.

"God, Buffy," he groaned and Buffy answered him with an unintelligible grunt of her own. He remained still for several minutes, reveling in the love she gave him so willingly. Yeah, it may have been physical but Spike knew enough of Buffy to understand that giving herself to him as she had was more than just a good shag--there was so much more to that. It was something that he'd always wanted, always craved but could never receive, not even in a century with Dru.

"I love you," Buffy whispered in his ear and stroked his back lovingly. Spike groaned at her admission and began to move inside of her.

This is heaven, Spike thought as he allowed the scent and feel of Buffy to envelop him.

~~~

It was like nothing she had ever seen.

Buffy was transfixed with the image before her. She watched the reflection in the mirror intently, and her eyes traced the contours of Spike's back, the same contours that her fingers had navigated across so many times. To watch him from such a perspective only heightened her arousal and she pressed her hips forward to meet his, relishing in the barely contained power of his thrusts.

"God, Buffy," Spike whispered into her hair as his hands caressed her legs, "you feel so bloody good, wanna stay inside you, never be apart." The words that tumbled from his lips enthralled the slayer and she was helpless when her first orgasm slammed through her unexpectedly.

"Spike!" Buffy screamed and stared in fascination as her nails dug into his flesh. Spike's hips pumped into her faster and harder, and the sound of flesh slapping together was their own distinct melody. Her eyes rolled back when Spike mingled words of love with the most decadent of speech and when she bared her neck to him, begging him to take her, Spike did not hesitate.

The last thing Buffy felt before falling into darkness were the fangs embedded in her throat and her lover's essence filling her as only he could.

~~~

Spike awoke to the gentle caress against his chest. Smiling contentedly, the vampire opened his eyes and yawned, expecting to see mischievous hazel eyes staring back at him. But when he soaked in the slayer's face, he was surprised to see her deeply enthralled with the back of her eyelids.

"Mmmm, Spike," she murmured and threw her leg across his waist. He chuckled and intertwined his fingers with her hand that rested on his chest.

He lay like that--peaceful and calm--for nearly an hour before the petite woman beside him stirred.

"Spike?" she asked as she tried to blink away the residues of sleep from her eyes.

"Here I am, pet," he replied and kissed her on the forehead.

Buffy's leg fell between his as she stretched and the vampire bit his lip to contain the growl that was slowly bubbling to the surface. He stroked her golden locks as she snuggled back to him.

"What is it, luv?" he asked when she frowned into his chest.

"I'm icky."

"Icky? What are you blabberin' about? There's not one part 'o you that's 'icky'. You are the finest, most…"

"Down there, Captain Cums-a lot," she said. Spike couldn’t help but laugh and was rewarded with a slap to the chest. "Not funny, asshole."

"Oh, it was funny all right, Slayer," he said and he quickly rolled on top of her, holding her wrists over her head. "But it was also very, very naughty." Buffy gasped when Spike's erection drifted across the moisture of her new arousal. Spike closed his eyes and moaned when she parted her legs for him and he resisted the urge to drive himself into her with a ruthless passion.

"What is it, Spike?" She asked coyly, enunciating the 'ike' at the end of his name.

"When you do that, it drives me bloody loony."

She batted her eyelashes and his grip tightened around her wrists. "Do what?"

So you wanna play innocent, you little minx? Spike thought. Well, two can play this game. "You know what you do," Spike said and eased the tip of his erection into her.

Buffy gasped and her eyes fluttered. "No, I don’t know what you're talking about."

"Is that so?" She nodded and he forced another gasp from her lips when he swiveled his hips, pushing into her a bit further. "Well, guess I'll just have to refresh your memory." And without further preamble, Spike fell headfirst back into heaven.

~~~

Buffy stared at the images above her. She still couldn’t get the fascination of Spike appearing in the mirror beside her. Her eyes met with his in the mirror and she smiled as he traced her breasts with her fingertips.

"That was amazing," she said as she idly cupped his groin with one hand.

"Takes two to tango, pet," he said, and returned the gesture. Buffy moaned and spread her legs as his deft hands stroked her in all the right ways.

"Yeah," she mewled, "that too."

"We are bloody great together, Buffy, you know that?"

"I do," she panted as she neared that oh so blissful precipice once more. Spike continued his ministrations and swallowed her scream when she fell.

Buffy took her time regaining her breath as she stared at the resplendent form of her lover smiling at her. Still caught in the afterglow, she drunkenly stroked his cheek. "I love you, you know that, don’t you?"

"That I do, pet," he said. His aim for a confident reply failed miserably. Disbelief glistened in his eyes and Buffy sobered. All the hardships he'd endured, loving someone completely for a century, only to have her throw him by the wayside for her 'Daddy'. Then, falling in love with a slayer, only to be mocked by her and her friends alike; to be used as if he were nothing more than an undead vibrator by said slayer. Was there any doubt as to why he had a hard time believing in her love, even with the proof of their love in the form of a twenty-three year old child from the future?

"Spike," Buffy said, and cupped his face firmly between her small hands, "I want you to look at me, really look at me.

"I. Love. You." She held up her hand when he started to speak. "No, let me finish this.

"I love you more than any man I have ever loved, do you hear me? I love you more than Riley, even more than Angel. You've always been there for me, even when I didn’t want you there. You always tell me what I don’t want to hear but need to hear. You're there even when I'm being the uber-bitch to you, always with my best interests at heart." On his skeptical look, she amended. "Okay, usually with my best interests at heart.

"The point is, Spike, you're everything that I want, and everything that I need. And I'm not gonna ever give up on that, ever.

"I know never is a strong word, but baby, I want you to know, that I'm never going to give up on you, or us. No matter what comes our way, no matter tries to get in between us. Do you understand?"

Spike nodded and Buffy kissed away the lone tear that trickled down his face. "I'm in this for the long haul, sweetie, so don’t think that I'm gonna get tired of you and start looking for a normal guy. Cause I think I've finally gotten it."

"Gotten what, pet?"

"That I'm not the typical normal and that I don’t want the typically normal life. Yeah, my friends my think I'm crazy for loving another vampire, but you know what I say? For me, that is normal. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

"Luv, that was…"

"No more talking," Buffy ordered, "time for orgasms. Lots of orgasms."

"You minx you."
Buffy giggled as Spike nuzzled her neck. "And you love it, too."

He growled in response and the rest of the night was spoken by actions, actions that, after several months, they had finally perfected. Yet now this new step involved love and it was all that either one of them had ever wished for. After years of searching, they found complete acceptance in each other's arms.

As the night wore on, the slayer and her vampire further lost themselves in their carnal desires and heartfelt love. But even the paradise that accompanied their coupling was not enough to shake the disturbing thought that pervaded the slayer's mind that the night they now shared would be their last contented night for a long time coming.

Severed Ties

"Angel Investigations," a raspy voice said. A very familiar voice.

"Wesley," Angel growled, his hand tightening around the phone. He eased his grip when the sharp crack of plastic filled the air. "What the hell are you doing there?"

There was no answer from the other line but the vampire heard the former watcher's jagged breathing and Angel opened his mouth to speak when Wesley broke the silence.

"Gunn and Fred needed me."

"What? Is there another baby that needs to be kidnapped? You wanna break up another family, Wes?" Angel spat.

"I understand why you are upset, Angel," the other man replied, clearly forcing himself to be calm, "but understand that I was only doing what I thought was right. And…"

"You thought that taking my son from me was right? What's next, you're gonna put a stake through my heart to help alleviate my sour moods. Wesley, you took my son. My son! A son that was the greatest miracle in my life and you try to placate me with 'I was only doing what I thought was right'. How dare you?!"

"I dare, Angel," Wesley replied, the conciliation gone from his voice, "because there are greater things at work than my erroneous judgment."

The urge to kill Wesley was so great that the bloodlust in Angel's veins clogged his throat like bile. He was vaguely aware of shifting into game face but shook it away. Gritting his teeth, Angel reigned in the blind rage that seeped from his pores and cleared his throat. "Why are you there?" he asked, aware of the fragmentary control of his voice.

"As I said, Fred and Gunn called me in. It's Lorne…"

The vampire frowned, taken aback by the news. "Is he okay?"

"Physically, he's fine, but emotionally…I don’t know what it was he saw, Angel, but it disturbed him greatly."

"Did--did he say anything about what he saw?"

A tired sigh answered him. "All he could say was that something's coming, something bad."

"How bad?"

"Bad enough for him to close down Caritas for the past two days."

Angel shook his head in disbelief. That Lorne would shut down the bar for any amount of time--aside from remodeling--was disconcerting. And instincts told Angel that whatever Lorne had sensed had to do with Cordy's vision as well as the impending doom that was slowly working its way into his veins.

"Angel, are you still there?"

"I'm here, Wes," the vampire replied. "So Lorne has no idea what's going on, just that something bad is coming."

"That is correct. Except…"

Angel sat up straight, "Wes, what is it?"

He could almost hear the other man's brain spinning but said nothing, allowing Wesley time to answer. "Truly it does not make much sense, but Lorne said that he felt as if it had something to do with you--"

"What doesn’t nowadays?"

"And Connor."

The mention of his son's name twisted the invisible stake further into his chest and as he sometimes did, Angel wished the grief would incinerate him. It may have been selfish but the loss of his son was worse than any deed he'd ever perpetrated as Angelus and their were time that the Powers' Champion was overwhelmed by his loss.

"Angel," Wesley's voice broke in, the hesitancy clear in his tone, "about Connor…"

"Don’t, Wes."

"You have to realize that…"

"Wes," he growled and the former watcher was silent. "Don’t. I don’t know what's going on there but I'm glad you're there."

"That means a lot to me," he replied after a moment of silence.

"Don’t get it confused, Wes. I will never forgive you for what you did and, if you value your life, after all this is over, I'd suggest you disappear for a long time. Because next time I see you, there may be no one to pull me off of you." Without waiting for a reply, Angel clicked the phone off.

Tossing the phone onto the bed, Angel walked to the window. He watched as the sun was overtaken by the ominous thunderheads; they roared their triumph at the day's premature defeat as blackness began its descent over Sunnydale.

"What is it?" Angel turned towards the voice and his morose thoughts were forgotten as he watched his goddess exit the bathroom, clad in a towel. His eyes drifted to her exposed thigh where the towel's coverage concluded.

"Angel," Cordelia said, snapping a finger in front of his face. Only by force of will was he able to tamper the lust that flowed through his veins. Still, the overwhelming desire to touch her would not be satiated so easily. Giving in to the need, Angel pulled Cordelia to his chest, ignoring her protests. Said protests were quickly extinguished with a thorough exploration of her exposed neck as his hands roamed underneath her scant coverings. It was only a matter of time before his kisses migrated to her lips and the two lost themselves in the passionate struggle for supremacy.

Moments before her surrender, Cordelia pulled away and fed her depleted lungs. "Okay," she panted, placing her hands on his chest. "Not one to complain but--where in the hell did that come from?"

Angel ducked his head and shrugged. "Can't it just be my need to ravish my girl when she enters the room covered in a towel?"

"You could," she said and nipped at his ear, "but we both know that's not the reason."

All humor lost, Angel scowled. "And what is the reason?"

Cordelia graced his lips with a chaste kiss before taking a seat on the bed. She sat cross-legged and stared at him with patient eyes. "Well, brood boy, that's what I want you to tell me."

Sighing, Angel ran his fingers through his hair and stole a glance outside. The sun was now completely overshadowed by the unforgiving storm that was approaching yet the tiniest of rays fought through the blanket of darkness. Even when the sun was a distant memory and night ruled the hours, Angel knew that the light would never disappear; it would always be waiting, just over the horizon to banish the shadows and give its brilliant light to the world again.

"And it always will," he said, "it always will."

His gaze fell on Cordelia and he saw the confusion written in her eyes. Taking a seat next to her, the vampire clasped one of her delicate hands between his palms and stared into her shimmering pupils.

"I called LA."

"So how are they doing? Can't get anything straight without us there, can they? I knew we should've…"

"Cordy."

"Oops, sorry."

Angel smiled. "That's okay. But as far as the gang, things aren't sunshine and daisies." He sighed. "I talked to Wes."

"Wes?" Cordelia's eyebrows scrunched together. "But how? They know what happened with…"

"Yeah, they do," he interrupted tersely. "Sorry, it's just that…well, it's just that Gunn and Fred called him in."

Cordelia closed the distance between them and he saw her worry bubble to the surface. "But why?"

"That's the thing; it seems that things are getting more complicated than we thought…"

~~~

"Hey, luv."

"Shhhh."

"What? Tryin to hide from someone? 'S not like…"

"For your information I'm observing Xander and Faith."

"And you're channeling your inner secret agent because…"

A pointed sigh. "Don’t tell me, Mister 'I-know-what-everyone's-thinking-at-all-hours-of-the-day' that you haven't noticed the tension between them since last week."

"Well, yeah, but I'm still a bit thrown by the need to snoop on them."

"Body language."

"Mmmm." She gasped when he ground his erection against her butt. "Can you tell what I'm thinkin' by my body's language."

"You're always thinking that," she replied, desperately attempting to control her breathing.

"So you won't mind one bit if I toss you over my shoulder, take you back up to your room and proceed to shag you senseless and crippled?"

She slapped him on the thigh. "Talk a little louder, why don’t ya."

"Fine then," he answered, his annoyance clear. "So, what's this about body lingo you're lookin' for, 'Penny'." Studies her intently. "Hey, where're those lovely pig tails?"

"Ha, bloody, ha. Probably the same place you put your collar, Brain.

Leering smirk. "Always knew you were a dominatrix at heart."

Very annoyed sigh. "Will you shut up."

"Fine, shutting up." A beat. "So why the body language?"

"I wanna see why they've been actin' so weird around each other."

"Ever think of, oh, I don’t know, asking 'em."

Very unladylike snort. "As if they'll be honest."

"How do you know they won't?"

"Spike, it's Xander and Faith…"

Pause. "Say no more."

"Anyway," she said, peering around the corner, "I'm trying to see if they give away the big whoop on why they're so awkward now."

"Oh." Silence descends for several minutes. "Uh, luv…"

"What?"

"You know you could've just asked me, ya know."

"Like you know."

"I do. Remember, 'can tell what everyone's thinkin' and all that rot."

"You'd just say there's unresolved sexual tension and they need to shag it out."

"True," he admitted, "if that wasn’t already the problem."

Pregnant pause.

"Did you just say…?"

"Oh, yeah," he said, grinning ear to ear, "the whelp and Shade shagged big time that night we were in the hotel. Surprised you couldn’t smell it. Even non-vampires should've picked up the sex in the air. Hell, it was like bloody cookies were being, well, cooked." A heavy silence followed.

Buffy leaned against the wall and regarded her boyfriend. She smacked him in the chest, hard.

"Oy! What was that for?"

"You just scarred me for life," she said and walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, you asked." When there was no reply, he sighed and trudged towards the kitchen, muttering about the inconsistencies of 'bloody women' the entire way.

~~~

They sat in silence, she reading a magazine as he flipped through the channels. Every now and then he would say something insignificant and she would only shrug her shoulders. Xander would sigh and return to watching whatever passed for entertainment and she would continue reading. That was how it was supposed to be, right? Bang a guy for a night (or two, as the case was) and give him the brush off. Even if said guy was terrific in every way, even if he understood you as well as anyone could, even if you were in serious jeopardy of falling for him--scratch that. Especially if you were in serious jeopardy of falling for him. Yeah, Faith had the procedures for kicking a guy to the curb down. She'd done it dozens of times and this was no different.

Except for the fact that she was miserable.

Damn it, she thought, it's not supposed to be like this. I'm not supposed to feel bad about it. But she did. She felt worse about this than almost squeezing the life out of Xander all those years ago. At least then she could blame it on being royally fucked up. But now…how many times in the last year had she told herself that she'd changed? Her stint in Sunny D had proven that fact; she had opened up about things that she never would have given a second thought to before. She put off her trademark defensiveness, not taking things personally like she used to. And yeah, she still needed a whole helluva lotta work in certain departments, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t on her way to being the best that she could be (without a desire to join the Army). But this whole thing with Xander…

A chuckle from the other side of the couch interrupted Faith's thoughts and she turned towards the bearded man beside her. Though he tried to hide it, Faith saw the weariness and dejected edge around his eyes. It was like the air had been forced from his lungs and, despite his efforts, he couldn’t refill them. It was the look of major disappointment, the feeling of being used and unwanted.

It was something that Faith had become intimately familiar with.

What is your problem, bitch? She scolded herself. Faith's emotions were at war like they had never been; parts of her clung desperately to her ice bitch routine she had first exhibited when she was fourteen. Other parts wanted nothing more than to act the role of the girly girl, to be swept off her feet…but in order to do that, she had to open up, be honest with Xander and herself. But how could she do that if she was…

"…scared." Faith was startled by the sound of her own voice and she turned to Xander.

"What did you say?" he asked, the hope and longing clear in his eyes despite his efforts to hide them.

For a moment, Faith moved towards blowing him off again, to erect that impenetrable wall of cool indifference. She didn’t know what stopped her.

"I said I'm scared." She dropped her gaze from him and her eyes concentrated on her jittery hands in her lap. She heard the TV shut off and glimpsed Xander turn his body towards her. The couch groaned as he shifted his weight closer towards the center.

"Faith," his voice was steady, encouraging, "what are you scared of?"

That was a loaded question. What was she scared of? Nothing? Everything? The little ball of nervousness that made itself known when he was near?

She decided to go with answer number two.

"What do you mean?" His tone was a mix of disbelief and relief and that kindled her anger.

"What the hell do you think I mean?" she hissed and stood. "Generally when someone says they're scared, that means they're scared. God, what the fuck do you think I meant."

Xander stood with the fluid grace of a dancer and approached her with caution. "Faith, I didn’t mean anything by it," he soothed her, "I was just surprised that you…"

"That I what? That I can get scared? What do you think I am, some cold heartless bitch that doesn’t fear nothin'?"

"No, of course not. Faith, I know you're scared. Remember our last chat before you…you were scared then and you're scared now." He was barely a foot from her now. "But tell me, what are you so afraid off?"

"Everything," she shouted and stepped away from him. She hugged herself tight, trying to stomp down the chills that wracked her body.

"Remember last week, when we talked?" Xander nodded. "I told you how I was terrified of caring again, terrified that, if I did care, it would be taken away from me."

"Faith, what do you think will happen?"

"I don’t know! That's the point. I don’t know if what's coming's gonna get the best of us all. I don’t know if I start caring for you that you won't get tired of me. I don’t know how long B'll wanna put up with me. I don’t know a goddamn thing, Xander."

She turned her back and studied the fireplace. Although she heard him move, she was surprised when his arms circled her tiny waist. She leaned into him automatically, allowing herself this one comfort because, if she didn’t, she was going to fall apart.

"Do we ever really know if something's gonna last? Do we really know if the time we see our loved ones walk out the door will be the last? That some ridiculous accident won't take them from us? No, we don’t. All we know is that tomorrow will bring a new day and we have to live each to the fullest."

"But what if it's too much to ask of yourself?"

Xander's arms tightened around her and Faith sighed. His heart beat against her back and his breath tickled her ear. She didn’t understand the contentment that washed over her as he held her and she didn’t want to question it. Still, she couldn’t help the doubts that surfaced every time she thought of them together.

Warm lips on her neck broke Faith's thoughts and she moaned, craning her head to the side, offering herself to him.

"Faith," Xander whispered in her ear, "I know you. True, there's a lot I don’t know, but the important stuff; your strength, your courage, your ability to care even when you don’t want to…I see that as clear as I see the beautiful woman in my arms. You're right, it's scary. Emotions always are. We never know when we're gonna get burned but even in that, we generally truck on. Why? Because, although it may be too much to ask sometimes, to take those chances, the potential rewards for taking those chances always makes up for the doubt and heartache.

"I wanna take that chance with you, Faith. I know it's only been a few weeks, but there is something about you that I've always wanted to be a part of. Even back then when we first got down, I wanted to explore a relationship; and no, it had nothing to do with you being my first."

Faith whirled in his arms. "I…I was your first?" Although she was stunned, she couldn’t banish her amusement, especially when Xander's cheeks tinged a burnt red.

"Yeah, well, the Xand-man didn’t get around much. Third base coach never waved me around."

"So you were a virgin. Will wonders never cease."

"You saw me then. I wasn’t what one would call the Don."

Faith chuckled. "Oh I know that. You were a geek through and through."

"Thanks a lot," he said but before he turned away, Faith grabbed his hand.

"Of course, you were the sexiest geek there was."

Something thawed within her when he granted her that silly, lopsided grin and Faith squealed, wrapping her arms around his neck.

" 'There was'," he repeated, "as in, 'no longer'?"

"Of course not," she said and kissed him on the cheek. She pulled away and their brown eyes connected on a level of understanding that even their night in bed hadn't allowed. "You're not a geek anymore."

"So what am I?"

Without thinking, Faith's lips dove in, claiming Xander's. Her actions startled him and she slid her tongue into his mouth before he could respond. After a few moments, he melted into the kiss and pulled her against him.

Faith pulled away suddenly and grinned at his confusion. "C'mon," she said and pulled him to the door.

"Where are we going?" he asked as they stepped into the darkening day.

"I'm gonna show you what you are."

"And what is that?"

She regarded him with hooded eyes, trying to keep her throbbing core under control. There was so much inside of her that yearned for release, so much they had yet to discuss but it didn’t matter. Her admission from the last few minutes had echoed their previous conversation a week and a half before; she was scared. The other intricacies of her flight or fight responses were irrelevant now. Yeah, she still had some painful baggage that she wanted to share with him but that could wait. Right now, she wanted to enjoy him, enjoy the possibilities of what being with Xander could bring.

"Mine," she said, and winked at him. She took off into the night and heard Xander's footfalls not far behind.

As the first drops of rain fell against her white tank top, Faith smiled like she hadn't done in…in forever. There was so much she still didn’t know about herself and what she could be but she would risk the pain to find out. She would take that leap of faith. And should she fall? She knew Xander would be there to pick her back up.

And for the first time in her life, everything was truly five-by-five.

~~~

Buffy stirred the hot chocolate with her finger, watching the white foam of melted marshmallows swirl around her hand like some chocolatey tsunami. The sips from across the table gave her pause and she turned hazel eyes to her lover.

"They stopped yelling," she said, and he nodded. "Think she killed him?"

"Doubt that, pet," Spike replied and caressed her wrist with his fingertips. Even that simple gesture produced a gasp from Buffy's lips and she saw the mirth dancing in his azure eyes.

"What?"

"Nothin' luv, just basking in the effect I 'ave on you."

She rolled her eyes and took a sip from her cup. "And what effect is that?" Buffy shivered when Spike's tongue slithered out his mouth and his caught it between his teeth. Specific parts of her responded immediately to his teasing and Buffy felt, with some disdain, her panties becoming a bit too restrictive. Her pulse had already quickened and it was only a matter of time before Spike…

He sniffed the air and Buffy scowled at his smugness. "That effect, luv," he said and nodded towards her lap.

"Pig," she muttered, and brought the cup in front of her face to hide her blushing cheeks.

"And you love it."

This time she smiled. "I love you, ya know."

Just as she knew Spike would never get tired of hearing it, Buffy would never get tired of saying it.

"Guess the love birds 're aimin' for some alone time," Spike said at the sound of the door closing.

"Ya think?"

"Oh, me thinks," he said and stood. His gait was predatory as he circumnavigated the table. He squatted next to her and slipped a hand under her dress. At first he went no further than mid-thigh but when Buffy opened her legs just a fraction, he took it as invite to explore her more intimate parts.

"And now that those two are gone," she gasped when his deft fingers pushed her panties aside, "and the feminine quartet is still at the mall," his thumb swept across her clit, "and the Watcher's MIA," she cried out when two fingers plunged into her, "I have you all to myself."

Anything he said after that was lost on the slayer as she moved her hips to the timing of his thrusts. One of her hands held his firmly in place between her thighs and the other squeezed her throbbing breasts. Her body was on fire and the presence of Spike, the things he was doing, the things he was saying, only intensified that aching burn within her. Even the part of her that had only once felt his cool flesh's penetration begged for invasion. But as soon as those thoughts materialized, they were cast aside as the pleasure reached its inevitable crescendo and Buffy squeezed her legs together and murmured his name.

Her spurts came like rapid bursts of machine gun fire, and her body recoiled with each emission. When she started to come down from the high, she felt the sticky proof of the orgasm against her thighs. Still on the high, she stared down into the liquid fire of Spike's eyes and even when he pulled his fingers away from her and she groaned in disappointment, the blaze in her core had once again started to rise.

It shot through the roof when he licked her essence from his fingertips.

"God, I love you," she whispered and slid shaky fingers through his hair.

"You just love my tight, hot, lil bod."

She chuckled hoarsely and her affectionate perusal of his hair started to lose its innocence. "I love every part of you." She glanced down at the erection that screamed from under his jeans. "And I want that inside me."

"Well, don’t mind if I…"

"Everywhere inside me." She almost laughed when his eyes bulged and kissed him on the forehead.

"Even there?" he asked.

"Especially there." They both stood but never broke eye contact. She saw the need to possess every inch of her in his eyes but he was trying to blanket it with the concern…concern and shame.

"Buffy, are you sure? We've only done that once and when I did, I…"

"Hurt me, I know," she said and winced at the memory. It had been during one of their more out of control couplings. Spike had taken her from behind with his usual force, all the while whispering how he wanted to take her second virginity and, caught up in the haze of lust, she had agreed. The lust had been upon him too and he had slammed into her with his entire strength. She had cried for nearly an hour, the pain had been that great. He had never asked again and she knew he still felt guilty for that.

"I trust you, Spike," she whispered. "I trust you to go slow with me."

"God, Buffy, I swear I will. Never wanna hurt you. Never. Rather be burned by holy water than hurt you again." He wrapped his arms around her and Buffy melted into his embrace. Being this close to him, this lost in his strength gave her a comfort she had only felt when she was a little girl, sitting on her Daddy's lap as he read her a bedtime story. Buffy never thought she'd feel that safe again, but again Spike had proved her assumptions wrong.

The knock on the door caught the lovers' attention and Buffy stepped out of Spike's embrace.

"Think they forgot something?" She asked and absently straightened her dress.

"Don’t know," he said and kissed her on the cheek. "Why don’t you go see and I'll clean up this mess."

Buffy grinned at him. "Wow, am I so lucky. Not only do I have the greatest lover in the world, but he's also domestic, too."

"I bloody well am not," he roared and swatted her on the butt as she walked away.

She stopped in the hall and checked the mirror, thankful that she didn’t have the 'fresh from getting finger shagged' written across her face. Fluffing her hair once, then twice, Buffy walked to the door and swung it open, a large smile tainting her lips.

That smile faltered when she saw the man standing before her.

He hadn't changed much since the last time she saw him. He still had the ruggedly handsome features so similar to Giles. His hair was tinged with a dark gray that matched the well-tailored suit that fit him to perfection. His hazel eyes sparkled with happiness and his lips were turned in a boyish grin. The same grin her mother had always fallen for.

"Hey, Pumpkin," he said, "I missed you so much."

Buffy stared at the sight before her in shock. She was vaguely aware of her crushing grip on the door handle and knew it was only a matter of seconds before it broke. But the foggy haze was too much to penetrate and she could only mutter incoherently at the figure before her.

"Daddy?"

TBC in…House of Cards

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