Chapter 11: Words of Wisdom

Buffy, Spike and Cordy walked into the Bronze. The club was quiet packed for Monday night. The trio then headed to one of the tables as soon as they caught sight of Willow and Xander chatting face to face, hands linking together and they had an I'm-in-my-own-fantasy-world-go-away look.

"Hi, guys!" Buffy chimed in. Willow and Xander said 'hi' back, still staring at each other intently and completely ignoring her. Buffy frowned at them, eyebrows drawing together.

"Hi, guys!" Cordy now had a go, hoping her voice would gain their attention. It did.

Willow and Xander stopped smiling at each other when they heard Cordy's voice and finally turned their heads to her.

"Cordy? Oh my God, you're here!" Willow squealed excitedly when she saw the short brunette.

"Yes, I am." Cordy replied smiling as she wrapped herself around Willow and Xander for a group hug.

"Tsk tsk tsk...Damn Cordy, you look hotter and hotter every time I see you, girl!!" Xander complimented her, arms folding on his chest and head shaking lightly as he took the whole sight of her in appreciatively.

"Why, thank you, Xander. You look good yourself. I see you picked on a girl and turned her world upside down tonight," Cordy teased, glancing at Willow who was blushing like a ripe tomato.

"I did indeed. And while you're here, let me introduce her to you.Cordy, this is Willow, my girlfriend 6 months running," said Xander proudly, puffing his chest as he wrapped his arm around Willow's waist. Willow blushed again. Cordy couldn't stifle her giggle and the others soon joined her.

"I'm so happy for you guys," Cordy stated as she pulled them into a group hug again. Willow and Xander thanked her simultaneously.

Buffy, Willow, Spike and Xander then filled Cordy in with the hot gossips and facts in Sunnydale through the years she'd been missing out. Cordy told them her adventures of going to places around the world while she was on business trips.

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Buffy and Cordy were dropped off by Spike at Buffy's place. Her mom was out of town, again. But Buffy was quite happy having Cordy for her company at home. They were extremely tired from the Bronze and it was midnight already. Still, Cordy kept her promise to have a girl's talk during the slumber time.

They lay on Buffy's bed side by side in a darkened room, one telling jokes to the other.

"Hey, Buffy. Have you realized what an incredibly yummy body Spike has?"

"What!?!" Buffy yelped in giggles, incredulously surprised. She never thought of taking an appreciative look at Spike's body. That's why the question Cordy threw her was a bit bizarre to her ears. "I know I haven't seen him naked but just from the look of his tight shirt and tight jeans that wrap his body, I can tell he at least has a nice muscly abdomen. A six pack too!" Cordy wiggled her eyebrows, trying to picture him without clothes on.

"I-I-I never see him that way," Buffy said in oddness, doubt in her voice.

"What about when you sleep over at his place? Ooohhh...silly me, you must be sleeping in the guest room now, huh?" Cordy slapped her head lightly when she realized that her cousin and Spike had grown up and wouldn't be possibly still sleeping together on the same bed. Buffy felt an oddity swim through her. For the first time she was reminded that she and Spike were not kids anymore. But breaking a habit she shared with him would be hard and…abnormal.

"Well...actually, we still sleep on the same bed, Spike's bed." She declared, almost shamefacedly. Hearing her respond, Cordy weighed her body on her elbows as she raised her upper body up to look at her cousin in the dark. Her eyes wide open and her delicately shaped eyebrows rose. She observed her cousin to find a confirmation on her statement with the help of the moonlight.

"Buffy, you DO know that you're almost 17, right?" Buffy rose her upper body up as well, adjusting to Cordy's level.

"Yes, but it's a habit, Cord. I-It's kinda hard to break, and I don't think Giles has a problem with that." The blond felt guilt strike her although she didn't know why she should feel it.

"Ooo-kaayyy...so I assume you still snuggle up together, huh?" Buffy gave a sheepish smile and a meek nod. "Then how come you never notice his body? You literally touch him every hour, Buffy! Are you blind or are you just dim-witted??" Cordy shook her head incredulously. Her cousin surely was innocent and TOO naive! She used to listen to the blonde's whining about being not able to find a perfect guy while there was an almost-too-perfect man always beside her everyday.

"That's because we always fall asleep almost instantly," Buffy said honestly. Cordy raised a brow again.

"Wow! Is that right? Hmm…Maybe I should borrow Spike for snuggling up if he can make me sleep during my insomnia." Her brain started to work on her schedule to make a 'sleep over' appointment with Spike. Buffy swallowed hard. Uneasiness filled her as she registered the brunette's words to her brain. The idea of Spike and Cordy curling up on the bed that had become her second bed discomforted her, even though it was her own cousin. That's not right. It was her bed, and he was her Spike. Whoa…hold on there, girl!! Since when did she own the bed?? And most importantly, since WHEN did she OWN Spike???

Cordy watched different expressions played across the blonde's façade, from awkward to determined then wandered until confused. "Buffy, you okay?" she asked in concern.

"What!?! Oh. I-I'm fine, I'm fine," Buffy assured her with stammering. Cordy gave a sweet smile to her. She knew her cousin must have thought about the words she said.

“So, what's new with you? Any boy season so far? I don't think I've heard you talk about a new guy since Scott." She changed the subject to ease Buffy’s discomfort.

“That's because I couldn't contact you at all, Cord! You keep moving from one country to another. Aren't you supposed to get a dual band cell phone? I heard it's quite handy for someone who expects her cousin to dish all the juicy stuff going on in Sunny D." Buffy glared at her. The brunette girl just smiled sheepishly.

"Oops! Sorry…there was something wrong with it before and for your information, it can't be used in all countries, so forgive me for not being able to be reached." She rolled her eyes and cocked an eyebrow up.

'Well, what about email? Don't tell me you don;t know how to login.”

"Of course I know HOW to login. I'm not that helpless with Internet y'know. Beside, you know how chaotic my schedule is…" Buffy rolled her hazel eyes.

"Yeah, I know. But you get to travel around the world, doesn't that excite you?" She lay on her back again.

"Sometimes, but mostly I just keep trying to cope with my jet lag." There was a brief silent before Cordy spoke up again. "You still haven't answered my question."

Buffy took a deep breath as she struggled to decide if she should tell her cousin about her relationship with Angel. "There was actually. A guy, an exchange student from Ireland. His name was Angel."

"Angel?" Cordy raised a delicate eyebrow again at her cousin as she suppressed her chuckle.

"Don't even start!" Buffy warned her, throwing a murderous glare at her.

"I'm sorry, go on!" Cordy apologized. Just before her cousin opened her mouth to continue, she interrupted her again. "But Angel? What were his parents thinking? I can understand if that's for a girl, but this is a guy we're talking about, right? What, his face is angelic or something?”

"Actually it is. But that’s not the point, you want me to tell you the story or not?" Buffy was getting annoyed. She glared at her cousin again.

"Okay okay, I'm not gonna interrupt again. Please, tell the tale." Cordy laid herself on the bed again, next to Buffy.

Buffy took another deep breath before she continued. She told her everything right from the time they met till the reason she broke up with Angel. Once she finished, she looked at her cousin expectantly for feedback. Cordy was silent for a brief second while she took in Buffy's tale. She sat up straight and turned to look at her.

"Buffy, have you NOT realized what you've done to him? From the story you told me, he wasn't a jerk type of a guy."

"Yes, but he made me choose! Everything fell apart because he's just jealous of Spike. God, could there be any lamer reason?" Buffy joined her cousin in a sitting position. Cordy reached her arm and planted her own hand on it.

"Well, I have to disagree with you. That wasn't a lame reason, Buffy. You and Spike are always attached to each other. And everyone but you two can tell that you both are so right together. Why can't you see that?" Cordy reasoned with her in a big sister attitude.

"We're maybe right together…but as siblings, nothing more." Buffy insisted. She was getting fed up with this. She and Spike had a special friendship, why couldn't people understand that? Why did they keep expecting this special relationship to be something more? To be something that involved romance?

Cordy let out an exasperated sigh. Her cousin was too stubborn, but she still loved her. And she was sure Spike loved her too.

"Fine, if that's what you want to believe. But trust me when I tell you that if you don't tell him how you really feel, you're gonna lose him forever." Buffy set her eyes on the white comforter as she absorbed Cordy's words. Her fingers twisted and played with her top's hem absently. A few seconds passed in awkward silence.

"Well, I'm off to bed then. Nite, Buff. I love you." The brunette gave a sisterly hug.

"Nite, Cord. I love you, too." Buffy mumbled as she hugged her back before Cordy sauntered towards the door.

Buffy propped herself down on her bed again, she stared intently at the ceiling. Her mind drifted to one certain bleached curly head. Was it true she had feelings for him? Sure, she cared about him. But was there more than that? She recollected the discussion about his body with Cordy earlier. As far as she could remember, Spike did have a great body. But she never gawked at it, never in her mind came the thought of taking in his form appreciatively. Now she wasn't sure if she could face him without trying to gawp at his body especially when he was asleep…half naked.

Chapter 12: Dangerous Thoughts

Cordy was working while Willow was on a date with her boyfriend, Xander. Joyce went to New York for a conference and Buffy was left alone by herself. The only place she could think of right now was Spike's place, the place where she could feel as her second home with a warm welcome.

Buffy went to Spike's room and climbed over the bed, starting to curl up against him as usual. She closed her eyes as she draped one arm on Spike's waist and stroked his back lightly. Just when her palm reached above his bottom, she froze, eyes flustered open.

His lower body wasn't wrapped in a piece of clothing. She practically jumped from the bed. Her hazel orbs got even wider when Spike startled and sat straight immediately at her shock. His features mirrored hers.

"Spike, what are you doing?!?" Buffy shrieked, her heart pounding real hard. She put a hand on her chest as if lowering her heart rate.

"Wha'?!? I thought you're gonna spend time with Cordy as much as you can, so I assumed you're not gonna come over here then. That's why I took this advantage to sleep naked as much as I possibly can. Y'know I missed that a lot what with you keep sleeping in my bed and all." Spike tried to calm his heart down as well from his shock. His body was no longer covered by the sheet, except his calves that still tangled between it, exposing his deliciously naked body.

Buffy lowered her gaze from his eyes, down to his neck, across his lean and hard abdomen and landed on his member. She took the whole sight approvingly, especially when she now focus on his groin. Her mouth grew dry in an instant as she felt her blood rushing through her body. The winter breeze suddenly felt like a steaming sauna. She was half way to lick her lower lip reflexively when she heard Spike continued to speak. She broke her gaze off and shot her eyes up to look straight at his eyes.

"Buffy?? Are you alright, pet?" Spike followed her gaze, which landed on his member. A pride raced uncontrollably through him. He had seen girls drooling over his body, but not Buffy. Not Buffy, his non-existent sister. 'Wow! She slept with me hundreds times and she just realized what a hot tight little body I have??' He smirked at the thought.

"Uhh...y-yeah...o-of course I am..." Buffy stammered. She started looking around. Spike's guitar that was leaned against the wall by the bed's end, suddenly gained her interest. She began pacing around the room.

"Umm...you know what, I-I just remember that I have to meet Cordy for shopping." She lied. Her voice was too perky as she tried to cover her embarrassment. She could feel her face flushed and her heart wouldn't calm down a bit. 'Dammit! What is WRONG with me?? This is your brother, idiot! Well...he's not really my brother though...he's just like one of them...' Buffy was getting frustrated at her own mental conversation.

Spike glanced at his alarm clock. It read 8.45 P.M. He raised one scarred brow. "At this hour??" he asked, confused.

"Well, won't kill to find out if there's still stores open," she winced at her reasoning, knowing that it wasn't a shopping night. 'Geez, Buff I know you're not the brightest person in the world. But, lame much?!?' She offered a nervous smile while she attempted to focus on his eyes. 'His eyes, Buffy! NOT his member!! Bad Buffy!' She emotionally kicked herself in the head. Buffy made a mental note to herself, 'Must KILL Cordy when I get home. This is all her fault for putting dangerous thoughts of Spike in my mind.'

"I-I better go. Bye!" She rushed towards the bedroom's door and started to pull the knob briskly, but it wouldn't budge and the door wouldn't open. She was getting more and more agitated, her face already matched with the color of flame.

"Pet, you need to turn the knob clockwise to open it. Where did Cordy take you these days? Dinosaurian world?" Spike arched his eyebrows again. A cocky grin never left his features. He obviously knew what went through her mind and he found it quiet amusing.

Buffy flashed a sheepish tight smile. She closed her eyes momentarily at her stupidity. She turned the knob to the right and sighed in relief when the door ripped open. She said another goodbye before storming out of his house, out of his room, out of the sight that made her temperature went straight to 40 degrees. Once she was in his front yard, she took a deep breath. Sucking a cool air into her lungs never felt better. Her features turned into relief but soon turned into anger. She knew where she had to go now. Her cousin's pretty face came across her mind. 'Cordy, you are SO dead!'. She took wide steps heading to her own house as she wrecked her brain out to figure out the best way to torture her cousin after she damaged her brain with wild thoughts. She just hoped that Cordy was home already by the time she confronted her.

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"You are one DEAD woman, sista!" Buffy burst into her house with her index finger pointing at her cousin's startled reaction. Cordy shot her eyes up and dropped her magazine instantly when she heard Buffy's yell.

"What?!? What the hell are you talking 'bout?" Cordy heard herself yelled back. Buffy started pacing around the living room, in front of her cousin who sat on the couch.

"You know what I'm talking about! That thought with Spike being a hot and sexy hunk and all..." She waved one hand in front of her and placed the other firmly on her hip. The previous sight came across her mind and she felt her face flushed once again. Cordy's features now turned into an amused look at her cousin's flushed face. She smiled to herself, her brown eyes darted following Buffy's motion.

"What happened?" she simply inquired.

"Well I was at- What makes you think something happened?" Buffy stopped her feet when she realized that her cousin knew something must be up, judging from her reddened face. Cordy gave a stern look, crossing arms across her chest matching her crossing legs. Buffy finally conceded, she slumped into the couch next to Cordy.

"I was at Spike's house an hour ago and went straight to his bed. Y'know, started snuggling against him like we usually do. But then when I put my arm on him...I found out that he was umm...he was..."

Buffy thought of a better word to say beside 'mouth-wateringly naked'. Okay, maybe 'deliciously' was more polite, less pervert. She startled at her cousin's snap.

"He was what??"

"H-h-he was...naked" Buffy let out the last word in a whisper. It took all Cordy’s ear strength to hear her cousin’s whisper, she decided to torture her cousin even more.

"He was what?" She repeated her question, suppressed her smile.

"He was NAKED, okay!!" Buffy said it loud in irritation. She knew that Cordy just wanted to press her button. She glared at her amused look.

"So...what did he look like underneath? You know, his package..." Cordy grinned wickedly, a gleam in her crystal brown eyes.

"Who said I saw his...package..." Buffy's face blushed again at the word 'package'. 'Damn this running blood!' If she was a vampire, she wouldn't have to worry her face being hot and rosy.

"Oh come on, Buff. You won't be blushing by now if you didn't see his package." Cordy rolled her eyes at her cousin's denial. Buffy blushed even more. Her cheek turned from soft pink to flame red in a flash. She let out an exasperated sigh. Having more denials wouldn't help to drop the case. So she told the rest of the story starting from when she jumped from his bed. Cordy laughed so hard, her tears pricked in her eyes. She hadn't laughed this hard for a while and she found it was a good medicine for her overly stressed job. Buffy shot daggers at her, feeling more irritated.

"Oh my god, Buffy. You've just given me the best prescription in my life. Not even one psychiatrist I visited gave the kind I needed." Cordy said between her laughter. Buffy scowled at her comment.

"Glad I can help." she replied sarcastically. Then she continued,

"This is all your fault! Now I won't be able to face him again. I can't even sleep over his house anymore!" She whined, still annoyed. Cordy burst into laughter again at the thought of Buffy who always felt comfortable with Spike, suddenly stiffened around him.

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Buffy tossed and turned around on her bed. She glanced at the alarm clock on her nightstand. It read 5 A.M. 'Shit. Four hours before school. Come on, Buffy! Sleepsleepsleep!!" She silently chanted to herself. She began twisting the locks of her hair. It was her habit whenever she couldn't sleep. She found this comfort her nerves and frustration. Weird, I know! Freaky, hell yeah!

She wrecked her brain out, trying to find some thoughts in the back of her mind to make her doze off, when suddenly an image of a very naked Spike entered her mind uninvited. She opened her eyes promptly, then shook the image off, desperately trying to erase it from her mind.

She had seen naked Spike before, but it was a wayyyyy long ago. Back when they were still new friends, they had often shared a bath together. It was all being so cute and making people gasping 'aww' at their sight. But now, everything was different. Buffy hated to admit that Spike was now more than her dorky friend. He's turning into a charming and gorgeous as hell young man, not to mention that he had a killer body and sexy smile to go with his brainy skull of his.

She turned to the side as she put a pillow above her head tightly and squeezed her eyes shut again, as if she was hiding from the light in her darkened room. The action didn't help her. She discarded the pillow and lay on her back when she began lacking of air. She took a gulp of air as she stared at the ceiling. 'How am I going to face him tomorrow?' Her mind started working on the possible reactions she would give when she saw him at school. But nothing good came up. Buffy heaved a sigh. This was going to be one of those long nights she had...or mornings rather.

Chapter 13: Seeing Red

Buffy walked to her locker, a tired look clearly registered over her features. Her eyes were half closed, she would give anything for some sleep at this time. But in a few seconds they were stretched open when she saw a peroxide head stalking over her. She clutched her thick math book firmly. Her tired look changed into a horrified one. 'Oh no!! He's coming! What am I gonna do?!?' Buffy stepped back a little. Her eyes grew wide but a slight disappointment was evidently inside them when she saw him fully clothed.

'Big NO to ogling at Spike's body! Bad Buffy, bad bad Buffy!!' Her hands began slamming her forehead with the thick book she'd been holding as if punishing herself. The rhythm became faster as Spike came closer. He grabbed her hands immediately to stop her once he was close enough to reach for her. "Whoa, pet! No need to damage your brain there. Although I can assure you, slamming your head to a locker door is definitely more efficient." He flashed her a sexy grin. Buffy looked up to him and blushed in crimson. 'Oh my god! Even his grin is sexy! Since when did he start doing that sexy grin?!?' She shook the thought off. She tried to come up for a reply when the bell saved her from the tormenting situation she was experiencing.

"Class! I-I-I better go," Buffy piped up and for the first time she was grateful to Snyder for ringing the bell so soon. She gave a tight smile before turning her heels around to go to her next class.

Spike furrowed his brows at Buffy's rushing steps. A smirk tugged at his mouth once he finally had his brain work out the reason for her recent reactions. For the first time ever since they met when they were little, he had never seen her so nervous and tense around him. 'Oh yeah, this is going to be a hell of a ride,' he thought. Taunting Buffy and making her squirm were always on the top of his favorite to-do list.

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"'Ello people!" Spike greeted his gang as he sat next to Buffy. She stiffened when his arm slightly brushed hers along with their thighs. Xander and Willow greeted back with a smile plastered on their faces.

"So, where have you been with Cordy, Buff? Got some action going on?" Xander's hands waved in the air, mimicking the word 'action'.

"Huh?!? W-what actions?!?" Buffy stammered, she began fidgeting.

Spike suppressed his chuckle but failed miserably. Willow raised a delicate brow at him while her boyfriend replied to the petite blond.

"Y'know, going to places for photo shots. Who knows you might be offered to be a model like Cordy." Xander gave a 'duh' look.

"Oh. I-I don't think they would give me a thought, Xan." She said in relief. But soon she stiffened again when she heard Spike's comment.

"Yeah, she's more likely to be an observer than be the object of the observation." He chuckled again, feeling amused at Buffy's flushed face.

Xander and Willow now gave weird looks to both blonds, not understanding what was going on. "Huh?!?" was all Xander and Willow could come up with. A confused expression still glued on both faces.

"My eyes were partially closed when that happened!" Buffy blurted out, panicking. She widened her eyes as she realized what her words could lead to. 'Oh God! That's just bad!' She tried to add something, but came up with nothing.

Spike pursed his lips together, closing his eyes briefly, clearly struggling to stifle his laughter.

"Again with the 'huh?!?'" Xander asked again, dumbfounded.

"I-I-I have something to do. I'll see you guys later." Buffy quickly packed her bag up and began walking off from her friends, not bothering to wait for a response. Once her retreating form faded, Spike burst into laughter causing the couple to frown at him.

"What's so funny?" Xander glared, he was completely befuddled and felt irritated at the apparent secret Spike held from him. Spike was his male best friend and he never hid anything from him, even the most 'exclusive' stuffs. Spike would confess everything, anything just like he would do that to him. Willow, on the other hand, made a mental note to herself to dig in the tales Buffy hadn't told her.

"Nothing, mate. Nothing at all." With that, he sauntered to the exit door, leaving two very puzzled teenagers.

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Buffy rummaged her locker, throwing her books inside more harshly than she intended to. She muttered incoherently under her breath, scowling at her stupid reactions around Spike. As she closed her locker door, Buffy yelped and jumped a little when she saw him leaning against the nearby locker, arms crossing over his chest and a cocky smirk tugging at his mouth. She took a deep breath wryly, both because he sneaked up on her AND because of the way he stood, looking extremely irresistible and manly.

"Do you know there's this little ritual where one needs to announce one's presence when one comes near one's friends?" She scolded, sending a death glare to him.

"Sorry, luv. Doesn't apply to me." He shrugged his shoulders indifferently.

Buffy watched him cautiously as she spoke again, "H-how long have you been standing there?" She silently prayed that he didn't hear her babbling too clearly. She could die if he continued tormenting her with that embarrassing incident, and with the way she reacted towards him in these last 15 hours.

"Long enough to hear you mumbling about something being stupid and not your fault. I'm taking it this is 'bout last night, innit?" His grin grew wider when she blushed furiously. She tried to keep her heartbeat steady while she lowered her head for a moment.

"You're not gonna let this go so easy, are you?" She sighed wearily, her eyes pleading in desperation to let the matter go.

"Why should I? When I can watch you squirm like those tiny worms…" He tilted his head to the side and bit his bottom lip to contain his amusement.

Buffy scrunched her face at his respond. "Ugh, worms?!? That's just gross, Spike…anyway, that thing last night was stupid a-and embarrassing. So just drop it, okay!" She hurriedly begged again, giving another beseeching look.

His heart melted instantly by her pleading puppy eyes. 'Damn those puppy eyes!' Spike grumbled mutely, he would never be able to resist them. They always made him promise anything to make her feel better. He rolled his eyes and stood straight before he muttered his reply, "Oh bugger! Fine, I drop the case. So stop doing that wounded puppy act!"

Buffy sighed in relief as if loads had been lifted off of her shoulders. She smiled graciously at him. "Thank you. Now, shall we go to our next class?" She gestured towards the left end of the hall. Spike stepped forwards and walked side by side with her, hands inside his duster pockets.

There was a brief silent before he said, "I was right, y'know."

"You were right about what?" She turned her head to look at him, a mischievous glint in his eyes and another cocky grin formed across his lips.

"About you being an observer. You do have a potential for that." He laughed when she smacked him on the ribs.

Chapter 14: Something Long Forgotten

It was the last day of Cordelia's business trip in Sunnydale and once again she had to travel to another continent. She spent her last night chatting with her cousin until dawn, even though she needed much sleep before her flight departed.

Buffy sauntered sluggishly, her feet idly kicked the white sand while her eyes wandered around the quite beach. The waves were dancing across the sea, but they died down every now and then. The sky was marred in copper red, signaling that the sun was about to set. Her mind drifted to her cousin's beautiful visage. God, she'd missed her already! Cordy was more than a cousin or good friend to her. She was more like Buffy's big sister; a person she always looked up to, a role model. Tears began welling behind her eyes as she grasped the fact that her house would be empty and cold without her cousin's rich laughter. Her mother would be busy for her business trips and she would end up being home alone again.

Sighing deeply, she wiped her eyes quickly as soon as she caught the sight of her three friends. They were sitting on a wooden rectangle-shaped table, their feet landing on the long bench that attached to it. Green bushes bordered the back of their spot within several feet apart. This was their sacred place where they would gather together, watching the sun slowly made its way to the west and letting the breeze play with their hair. She forced a smile as she approached them.

"Hey…" She announced her presence in a soft voice. Her friends greeted back and threw her their warm smiles. Willow, who was sitting between her boyfriend's thighs, sat straight but still let Xander's arms encircle her waist firmly.

"So, Cordy's really gone, huh?" She gave a sympathetic smile to her best friend, noticing the sadness washing over her façade.

"Yeah, she has. Her flight departed an hour ago." Buffy climbed up the bench and sat between Spike's thighs. She leaned against his hard chest as he wrapped his arms around her, resembling Willow's and Xander's positions.

"How are you doin', pet?" He whispered his question into her ear, sending shivers to her spine. She shifted her position to distract the new sensation that filled her.

"Sad, but I'll be okay. Although I miss her already…" She answered while her eyes fixed to the sea waves.

"I know, luv. But I'm sure you'll be fine."

Buffy smiled half-heartedly at his comforting words. She leaned further against his chest and placed her head on the crook of his neck. Her white tank top exposed her slender shoulder, pale and smooth. Spike stared at it intently, being drawn to the bare tender flesh. He was struggling over the urge to suck and nibble it. Taking a deep breath, he lowered his head but instead of sucking and nibbling it like he desperately wanted, he planted a feather-like kiss on her shoulder.

Buffy closed her eyes when she felt his soft lips brushed over her shoulder. Her stomach was doing flip-flop and she shuddered vaguely as another new commotion overwhelmed her. She inhaled sharply, trying to contain her excitement; only it got worse when his unique scent filled through her nostrils. Attempting to ignore the new feeling that started building inside her, she exhaled warily, causing him squeeze his eyes shut as her warm breath tickled his neck.

Willow and Xander raised their eyebrows and exchanged looks at the scene played before their eyes. Both of them wondered how Spike and Buffy maintained to be so calm and comfortable at that position, knowing that they weren't a couple. Little did they know, the blond couple was trying their hardest to restrain their sexual tensions.

The sky got darker as the sun was vanishing through the horizon. The four of them sat in a comfortable silence. It was really peaceful out there. No distraction, no vehicle noises and only a few people visited the beach. Buffy sighed in contentment when the cool air hit her face. Soon she found herself fall deeply into slumber. One hour elapsed rapidly.

"I think we better get out of here. The sky is already dark." Xander declared, pointing at the darkened sky.

"Guess so. Let's go home, pet!" Spike murmured through her tresses. Buffy only shifted her position, nuzzling further towards the crook of his neck.

"Hmm…." was the only respond he got.

"Looks like you've got a sleeping beauty there. Should I get water to wake her up? Adding a bucket of salt might help…" Xander offered, indicating the seawater, a sly grin plastered on his face. Willow elbowed her boyfriend on the ribs and glared sharply at him.

Spike chuckled before answering, "Nah…don't need to. Let 'er sleep, she probably hasn't caught a wink last night." Slowly Spike slipped from his seat and landed his boots on the ground while his arms steadily caught her back. Once he stood straight, he easily swept Buffy from the wooden table and turned his heels around, started heading towards the parking lot.

"Let's go." He called over his shoulder. The brunette and redhead immediately followed Spike's footsteps. After they arrived in front of Spike's DeSoto, Willow and Xander separated themselves from the blond couple, having their own way to their homes. Spike drove Buffy back to her house while she was still asleep in the rear seat.

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The house looked empty when Spike unlocked the front door with the key he found in Buffy's shorts pocket. He put a holder on the door to keep it open, then went back to his car to get Buffy. Slamming the rear door with his foot, he headed inside the house with Buffy in his arms, still sleeping soundly.

"Home sweet home, pet…" He whispered softly as he ascended the stair and purposely strolled over her bedroom. Buffy stirred slightly when Spike struggled to open her bedroom door with his hand, her body still attached in his arms. He sighed in relief once the door swung open. Very carefully, he laid her on the bed, puffed the pillow to make her head as comfy as he could. Next, he reached for her beach sandals, taking them off with care as to not disturb her nap. Just after he put the second half of the sandals on the beige carpet, Buffy was fully awake. She rubbed her eyelids with the sides of her index fingers and partly yawned.

"Spike…are we home already?" She propped onto her elbows, raising her upper body as she took in her surroundings.

"Yes, luv we are." He stalked around the bed, then slumped his body next to her, causing the bed to bounce a little.

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry you had to carry me home, right to my bed." She apologized as soon as a realization of her being deep into siesta hit her.

"S'okay, pet. Didn't even break a sweat." He shrugged casually. Truth be told, he had troubles with getting the bedroom door rip open since his hands and arms were full of the petite body. He cursed himself for not having opened it before he fetched her from his car.

A long silent passed between them. Buffy was trying to remember what she needed to tell him…or maybe it was something she needed to give him.

"OH YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT!!" She exclaimed, slapping her forehead after the answer to her mental question popped into her mind. Spike jolted slightly at her outburst. Before he could ask what it was, Buffy crawled across his lap, headed for her nightstand. She crawled so low, her breasts brushed over his arm that was placed on his thigh. Spike gripped the bed headboard with the other hand as she sprawled her upper body on his lap with her busts crashed against his arm. The fact that her right one was accidentally cupped in his hand, made him clutch the board tighter. He swallowed hard, closed his eyes and took a gulp of air to resist the notion of squeezing the mound instinctively.

Buffy though didn't notice it. She was too busy exploring her drawer, trying to find something she wanted to give him. She stuck her hand further inside the drawer, pulled it back and examined whatever it was she caught. When the item was not the one she searched for, she discarded it then thrust her arm again. The movements of her hands shuffling the contents of the blue-painted timber furniture, made her breasts rub their heat to his palm back and forth in the process. He tightened his jaw at the teasing action she unwittingly did, trying to keep his loaded hand remain still until it felt numb.

"Wha-" He cleared his throat right away when his voice came as a squeak. He tried again, "What are you looking for, pet?" He needed to distract her from her activity…and distract himself from the affects she currently had on him. Thankfully, Buffy was now sitting up straight after she found what she was looking for.

"AHA!! Here it is…" She held a white envelope in the air triumphantly, satisfied look in finding it evident in her features. Spike let out a long breath, releasing the tension that had built up inside him.

"What is that?" He tilted his head, soon looking curiously at the envelope. He was about to reach for it with a shaky hand but quickly changed his mind, considering that she might ask the reason his hand was trembling.

"It's a letter from Cordy…" She answered, then handed it to him. "…for you."

Spike stared at it for a while, clenching and unclenching his fist as if to relax his hand. He finally took the letter from her and stared at it again, brushing his finger to a delicate handwriting that read his name - William Giles.

Buffy rolled her eyes, "Well, are you going to open it or not??" her voice screeched with impatience. She was curious herself as to the unusual way Cordy gave words to Spike. What could this be about? If Cordy wanted to say her goodbye, she could simply call him or drop by to his place. As far as Buffy knew, they rarely wrote to each other. Talking via phone would save time greatly since Cordy had a hectic agenda.

Spike was startled by Buffy's snap. He promptly torn the envelope off from one side and slid two fingers to pull a folded paper out. He chuckled once he read a brief message on it before he attempted to unfold it. Buffy drew her eyebrows together in a frown. "What are you chuckling 'bout?"

He looked up to her while pushing the letter back inside the envelope. "She said, 'Read this on your privacy.'" He chuckled again when she pouted, a smile already formed across his mouth.

"Fine. Keep all your secrets from me. It's not like I care." She grunted, making her way to descend her bed and collecting the abandoned items from the floor to be put back into her drawer. She was plainly annoyed at being out of loop. When there was Spike, there should be Buffy too. It was somewhat their unspoken promise to each other.

Spike heaved a sigh and shook his head briefly. "I'm just respecting her wish, luv. That's all I'm doing." He folded the envelope and shoved it into his duster pocket before climbing down the bed and helping her. He was sorting through the pictures when he stopped to a halt, drawing an unfamiliar picture out of the pile. It was an old black and white picture, a size of a tarot card. Since it was taken in a close distance, all that could be seen was an arm wrapping a curly fair-haired toddler around the shoulders. A half-inch width platinum bracelet with a string of small flowers and leafs engraved on it, hugged the wrist just right. Spike guessed the kid had golden locks like the person sitting next to him.

"I don't remember seeing this picture." He commented as he studied the portrait. Buffy leaned in to peek at it. Her eyebrows joined in a crease while she tried to remember when and where the old photo was taken. Her recent irritation was soon forgotten.

"I think it was taken when Mom was about 5 years old." She pointed at the arm, "That's Grandma's arm. Isn't the bracelet beautiful?" Spike only nodded. Buffy sighed, slumping her shoulders as mixed expressions played across her façade. He tilted his head when he noticed her reaction.

"Buffy, what's wrong?" She didn't answered immediately. Her eyes fell to the bedroom carpet as she gathered the memory when she and her mother just moved to Sunnydale. Sucking air in intensely, she began telling the tale she had not recalled for a long time.

"Remember when my mom got divorced, I was only 4 years old. Then we moved here and lived in a small apartment. My mom started working in various places but her income was always a little tight for the rent and the bills." She took a deep breath again. Her features were marred with sadness. Spike listened intently, waiting patiently for her to continue.

"Our condition got worse when I fell sick…malaria…" She uttered the last word in a whisper, her head hung lowly. He lifted one forefinger under her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye. Her hazel orbs glistened with tears. For a full minute, their eyes locked. Spike's blue ones gave an assurance that it was okay to free all the emotions she'd been holding back. Buffy looked away as she resumed her story.

"The medications were quite expensive and to make matter worse, the rent was a couple of months overdue. She tried to get a loan everywhere but couldn't. A-and you know my grandparents died before I was born. Cordy's family was living in Europe and my mom didn't know how to contact them for help." Her gloomy expression transformed into anger in a flash. "And the person I 'supposedly' call 'father'…" She accentuated the words supposedly and father with hatred. Her voice raised one level per word as she said the next line. "…He didn't give a damn about us! He never called, he never visited or even wrote. He-" Buffy paused for a while, attempting to control her fury. 'Better move on with the story', she thought.

Discussing about her biological father would only bring back the pain she buried ever since she closed her heart from him. She remembered when she was a kid, she used to ask where her father was every chance she got. Her mother was always lost in words, not knowing what to say to her. He no longer owned their house in Los Angeles and he quitted his job. He just vanished without a trace.

Buffy envied her friends whenever they talked about the time they spent with both of their parents…or the birthday presents their dads gave them. She even envied her friends when they ranted about the fight they had with their fathers and how their fathers made them go to their rooms. All the time she felt she was the odd one out…until she met Spike. The person who she could share her pain of missing a parent.

Spike laid a hand on her palm and squeezed it lightly. She looked up to him and gave a squeeze back. She sighed. "Anyway, my mom sold all the valuable things she had…y'know like jewelry and such. Except the bracelet in that picture." Buffy pointed at the portrait Spike found. "She said that she inherited it from my grandma when she got married. It was so precious to her. But then…we were still short out of money. So, she reluctantly sold it as well." In her mind, she still could see clearly the way her mom stared at the picture longingly. She could sense the older Summers was stabbed with regrets and failure of not being able to pass the tradition on.

Buffy stared blankly at the wall when she continued. "She worked very hard to claim the bracelet back, but it was too late. The bracelet was already gone…" She held her head down while she twisted the hem of her top unconsciously. She just realized it might be the reason - besides her being very sick - that her mother kept working really hard even though the bracelet was long absent.

As if reading her mind, Spike finally spoke, bringing her chin up again with his finger. "It's not your fault." His eyes sent warmth and soothe through her. She only smiled lackadaisically.

"I know. But it's-"

"Shh…No buts. None of that, kay…" Spike cut her off with a finger planted on her lips. He then cupped her face, stroked her cheeks lightly with his thumbs and gave her an affectionate smile. She nodded meekly and flashed him a smile again. "That's my girl." He kissed her forehead as she closed her eyes, sighing in appease. "Now, what do you say we make a coupla hot cocoa with those tiny marshmallows?" He winked at her, a trademark smirk creeping over his handsome features. Without waiting for her respond, he stood up and pulled her on her feet. "Come on, luv!" He dragged her out of the room, deciding to clean the mess up later. Buffy trailed closely behind him, glancing back at the old photo before she disappeared into the hall.

Chapter 15: Diverse Feelings

Spike killed the engine of his DeSoto, got out of the car and made sure all doors were locked. He ran a hand through his tousled hair as he stepped towards the front door, the other hand dug in his faded jeans pocket to find his house keys. Sucking the fresh morning air into his lungs, he pinched the bridge of his nose while closing his tired eyes briefly. He inserted the correct key through the lock before slowly opening the door, not wanting to disturb his sleeping father.

He needed more sleep, he thought. It was only four hours ago when he finally dozed off. Although he could sleep at the Summers' residence until afternoon, he decided it would be better to leave after Joyce arrived.

He tossed his keys onto the study desk, peeled his duster off and draped it on a chair. Sighing, he dropped his body on the mattress and lay flat on his back. His mind brought him to the memory of last night as he closed his eyes.

Joyce was expected to be home by evening, but her flight got cancelled due to the storm in Chicago. So she rang Buffy to inform her that she would be home the next morning. Buffy, once again, was too upset to be home alone. Her cousin had just left last night, and now her mother wasn't even coming home. Noticing her disappointment, Spike offered to stay with her until her mom arrived, which meant that he had to sleep over her house. Buffy gladly accepted his offer although she could invite Willow to have a slumber party instead.

The first thing they did was cook dinner…well, Spike fixed the meals since Buffy was doubtfully able to survive the kitchen without burning it. Then they watched TV, but mostly they were too occupied with commenting and bickering about any shows that popped into the screen. It was midnight when they decided to call the night off. Spike, remembering about the innocent grope fest that happened that afternoon, suggested he sleep on the couch. Since she had no idea about his real reason, Buffy insisted that they should sleep on her bed. Although he rarely stayed over her house, that did not mean the way they spent the night would be any different to the way they did at his place. Spike tried to back his suggestion up, but he couldn’t give her his real reason. He came up with ridiculous explanations and she obviously did not buy them. So he finally gave in.

After they entered her bedroom, he started to strip his clothes off. Buffy's face reddened instantly and she fidgeted when she saw him standing in front of her, topless. The Spike-nakedness event soon replayed across her mind. She swore Spike would taunt her again the minute he looked up to her. Boy, was she wrong! She was rather taken aback by his reaction. There was no trademark smirk, no cocky grin nor a mischievous glint. Nothing. It was in fact an awkward vibe he sent through her. They started to act nervously around each other as the air thickened in a flash. A second seemed to be an hour. The silent became deafening as they lost all words. Spike ultimately broke the agonizing silence, he decided he should crash in the couch.

Buffy did not feel right about it. She knew sleeping on the couch would be uncomfortable, especially for a tall person like Spike. She tried to think of another option.

Okay, her house originally contained three bedrooms. But given that only two people lived in it, her mother had turned the guest room into a storeroom for her personal art collections. Moreover her mother hardly ever stayed home for more than a week in a row.

'That's it. Geez, why didn't I think about that?' A bright light bulb popped up above her head. She grabbed an old blue tank top and sweats from her dresser before telling him to sleep in her room while she used her mother's.

The solution however did not provide Spike with the good rest he needed. Occasionally he turned and tossed around. His mind had screamed that this was not right. She should be here with him, wrapping one's body with the other's. Just like the way they did every night she came over his place. Once or twice, he went to the bathroom for a cover up to check on her. Perhaps she couldn't sleep either. Perhaps she also thought the idea of having two separate rooms was wrong. But her light was off and she never came out of her room once. Perhaps he was wrong.

It was approximately 10 o'clock in the morning when Joyce arrived. Both Spike and Buffy had just exited their respective rooms at the same time. Spike was half naked and Buffy's top hung dangerously low. The blond couple froze at their spots for a minute, gawking at each other.

'This is just bloody stupid.' He thought at their awkwardness. They couldn't thank Joyce enough for ending their gauche situation as she landed her feet at the top of the stairs. Joyce was seemingly surprised to see her daughter come out of her room, looking as though she had slept there last night. She knew they still shared a bed, so what changed?

Spike immediately went back to Buffy’s room and got dressed after he announced his leaving due to some urgent errands he needed to attend.

And now here he was…at home at last.

"What the fuck was that all 'bout?!?" He grumbled, sitting up on his bed.

He recalled all the incidents that had happened yesterday. Okay, they were at the beach, Buffy fell asleep, he took her home. Buffy woke up, she crawled over his lap, fortuitous breast-cupping incident happened, she gave him Cordy's letter, she told him a story, then they made…wait a sec! Cordy's letter…he almost totally forgot about it. Spike took his duster from the chair.

He was pretty curious as to what the letter was about. He and Cordy were good friends but they rarely contacted each other. Buffy, who was Cordy's closest cousin and friend, couldn't keep in touch with her regularly, and neither could he. He even found out about her engagement from Buffy. He was crushed. His world seemed to fall apart. Though he may have appeared to be a player, seducing every attractive girl he met, it was only a technique to deflect him from thinking of her. To tell the truth, he had been secretly in love with her from the time she moved to Sunnydale eight years ago. All of his friends, including Buffy, thought he only had a crush on her. No, it was more than that. Since then he completely lost contact with her, and finally buried his hopes that someday she would have feelings for him. Feelings that were more than towards a friend…or a brother.

And now she wrote him a letter. He could not even remember the last time she did that. The question in his mind was why she didn't talk to him in person. 'Maybe she was too busy with her job,' Spike tried to rationalize. After all, she only visited SunnyD to get some work done. Why couldn't she give him a call? Another question arose. He did not have any rationales for that one.

He stared at the white envelope, contemplating what had been written inside. Could she have changed her mind about him? Maybe she finally had feelings for him, like he had wished those years ago. Taking a deep breath, he pulled the folded paper out from the torn envelope once again. Just when the letter was about to come out fully, a ring sounded in his ear, startling him. He put the letter back inside and answered the phone.

"'Ello? Oh bugger! Sorry, Xan I completely forgot. Give me half an hour and I’ll be there." Spike sighed in between his curses. He was too engrossed by yesterday's events, he had neglected the plan of getting birthday presents with Xander. He closed his eyes momentarily, then put the letter inside his drawer before strolling over to his bathroom to get cleaned up.

Chapter 16: The Sweet Tradition

The cafeteria was fully packed with starving teenagers. They patiently lined up for their turn and once in a while peered at the displayed food in the steel counter. Buffy and the gang sat in their regular spot, chatting and laughing while shoving the tedious cafeteria food into their empty stomaches. Willow and Buffy poked and played around with their food. Xander did not really care about what kinds of ingredients had been put into the meal as long as he was well fed. Spike kept snatching Buffy's fries and eventually she pushed her plate to him.

"OOH…I want to propose a toast," Willow chimed in. The rest turned to look at the perky redhead in interest. "Since tomorrow is Buffy's birthday, I want to propose a toast. May tomorrow be Buffy's perfect day for once." She lifted her can of soda up and the rest soon joined her.

"Cheers!" They called out in unison.

Everyone knew that in the last three years, Buffy always had a disaster birthday. She thought she might be cursed. Three years ago, she went to get a hair cut before her party. Alas, her hair was entirely ruined by the new and inexperienced hairdresser. She had cried the whole day and wished that she did not have to attend her own party. The gang managed to persuade her in the end, after complementing her new look until their mouths foamed.

Then, two years earlier and just two hours before her party, Scott Hope, who was Buffy's boyfriend at the moment, broke up with her because of his coming out. Spike was absolutely furious at her ex. He did not have anything against homosexuality. But the way Scott broke the news on Buffy's birthday made Spike's blood boil with anger. Despite Buffy's protest of confronting her ex, Spike left Scott with purple bruises on his left eye and jaw.

Last year's birthday was possibly as much her fault when she unintentionally left a solution boiling above a burner for too long and caused the chemistry lab to explode. She ended up cleaning the entire lab and three days detention, much to Snyder's amusement.

"So Buffy, what do you wish most for a present this year?" Willow brought Buffy out of her reminiscence.

She startled slightly then answered nonchalantly, "Oh. Um, I wish I could get my own car this year." Everyone who was drinking their sodas choked on her respond. "Hey!" Buffy pouted, feeling hurt by her friends' reactions.

Spike, after recovering from his cough, finally spoke, "Luv, you don't even have a driving license yet."

"So I'm going to get one. It's that simple." She shrugged casually.

The gang chuckled in unison. Xander rolled his eyes heavenward, "Oh let's pray for the driver constructor, my brother." Willow giggled while Spike chuckled again. Buffy frowned and kicked Xander's shin under table. "Owww! You know, for such a little girl like you, you've really got some power in you." Xander scolded, rubbing his now sore shin.

Buffy snorted unladylike, then retorted, "and for such a so-called best friend like you, you really know how to make a friend feel better."

"M'afraid I have to disagree with you, pet. Remember when I tried to teach you drive illegally last year, you almost ran my car right through your neighbour's living room. We were fortunate enough that ol' lady didn't give you a hard time...or sue you even." Spike chuckled again as he reminisced the memory when Buffy's old neighbour fainted in shock before she could yap at her. And by the time she recovered, all damages were fixed and she didn't remember anything that happened beforehand, thanked to her senility.

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She smiled broadly at his sleeping state. He hardly ever slept lying on his back. His face was so innocent and childlike. The way his head turned somewhat facing her, his eyes shut tightly and his lips pouted slightly, made him incredibly cute. Her smile grew wider as an insane idea came to mind. She always thought his eyelashes were illegally long and thick. She had been itching to curl and enhance those lashes. Quietly, she open her bag to find her cosmetic purse. Finding brown mascara, she unscrewed its tip while suppressing her giggles. She carefully and slowly brought the brush to his eyelids and applied it on each eyelash.

'Oh this is gonna be fun. Spike is sooo going to be pissed off.' Buffy puckered her lips tightly, struggling over her laughter. As she finished fastening the mascara's cap, out of the blue, Spike grabbed her right arm with one hand and her waist with the other. In a swift motion, he laid her on the mattress and him on top of her. Buffy shrieked at the sudden movement, never seeing it coming.

"You know what they say, NEVER trust a sleeping figure. You never know what they're really doing." He smirked down at her, his hands gripping her wrists and pinning them above her head.

"You pretended to be asleep, didn't you?!? You jerk!" Buffy accused him in a high-pitched voice.

"Well, I was until y-" Spike cut his sentence off with a groan and eyes rolling back as she wiggled her thighs under him, struggling to be free. He instantly weighed his own thighs on top of hers to keep her still.

"Oh come on Spike, lemme go! Or I'll-"

"Or you'll what, luv? Lick me to death?" He smirked again, knowing that this time she couldn't escape from his grasp.

Buffy lay still, staring dumbfounded at him as she contemplated his statement. 'I was gonna go with kicking your crotch, but licking you to death sounds much, much better...hmm...Spike popsicle...' For a long moment, she imagined herself licking at a Spike-shaped ice cream fully from bottom to top. Flickering her tongue up and down, devouring its sweetness and coolness…hmm…'Arrghh…what the hell am I thinking?!?'

"Stop it!" She snapped herself out of her haze almost too harshly. Spike immediately loosened his grip, afraid if he might have hurt her.

"Stop what, Buff?" His blue orbs searched for frightened eyes in her. Buffy finally realized that she had said the word aloud.

"Uhh…n-nothing. Sorry, I-I was talking to myself." She looked down, unable to meet his gaze.

He cocked his head to one side, watching her flushing face for a while. His lips began to curve into a trademark grin. "Were you just thinking of me, pet?"

She rolled her eyes overdramatically. "Oh please. Don't flatter yourself…Wait, as a matter of fact, I was. You know why? Because right now, your eyelashes really go with the brown mascara I've applied." She giggled at his widened eyes. The brown liquid had not dried when he open his eyes for the first time, causing it to blotch on his lower eye lines.

"You're going to pay for this, Summers!" He growled, eyes narrowing into slits, menacing down at her.

"Oh really? What are you gonna do?" She challenged in a mocking tone. An evil smirk formed across his features.

"Oh I'll think of something. No need to worry, luv."

"Uh-oh. I-I don't like that sound at all. Y-You're not going to make me do something unbelievably ridiculous, are you?" Her hazel eyes filled with alarm.

"Well, you'll just have to wait and see." He singsong as he neared his face towards hers. His cocky smirk was gone when he realized they were only inches away. He could hear her breaths turn into pants, mirroring his own.

Buffy's eyes were wide open, her heart pounding uncontrollably. His face was too close, in spite of her comfort. His eyes were hooded, filled with lust and his hot breath tickled her face, sending tingles throughout her body.

Spike stared at her slightly open mouth, then back to her eyes, searching for anticipation in them. He brought his face closer to hers, slowly but steadily.

She panicked in horror but at the same time waited with intensity. With a mere inch away from each other's lips, both of them froze. A knock was heard from the front door. They kept eyeing each other as they pondered their next actions.

'Go away, go away, go away!' Spike mutely chanted his annoyance. To his dismay, the knock got louder and more frequent. A yell from a young man's lips soon followed.

"Spike! You there? Come on, we're gonna be late."

Spike sighed in disappointment. "Bollocks!" He muttered. In a flash, he jumped from the bed and strode crossly towards the front door.

Buffy let out the breath that she did not realize she'd been holding on. Her heart still pounded furiously but the beat was now slowing down. She quickly stood up, grabbed her bag and left his house after saying brief goodbyes to both men.

Xander watched her retreating form with a frown. "Boy is she in a hurry." Then he looked back at his best friend, tilting his head to one side and squinting his eyes. "Are you wearing mascara?"

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"I'm going to bed now. Night, mum!" Buffy kissed her mother’s cheek.

"Night, honey. I love you." Joyce looked up from her reading and smiled. The petite blond shouted "I love you" back over her shoulder, ascending the stairs.

Buffy stared at her bedroom's window. "Would he come tonight?" She asked no one in particular. "Maybe…maybe not." She answered herself. Sighing, she unlocked her window and lifted it open a little. She subsequently switched the light off and slipped under her comforter.

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The neighborhood was quiet and dimly lit, only a few dogs' barks could be heard. A black clad figure was moving cautiously. He glanced around the area before standing at the ladder that lay against the wall. Slinging his duffel bag over his shoulder attentively, he started climbing the ladder as inaudibly as possible. Once he reached the top of it, he lifted the slightly open window and dropped the bag carefully on the floor. He hopped inside. Almost stumbling over discarded items on the carpet, he muttered curses. "Bloody hell!"

Since the room was nearly pitch black, he had to feel every object he found, fishing the contents of the bag out one by one. Occasionally he glanced at the sleeping form in the bed with the aid of moonlight, hoping he hadn't woken her. Once he prepared everything, he stalked around the bed and kneeled in front of the sleeping figure. The alarm clock read exactly 12.00 A.M.

"Wake up, Goldilocks! I've got something for you," Spike whispered softly, hoping to awaken her and not to wake Joyce up from the other room at the same time. Buffy stirred at the low voice, she squinted her eyes as soon as she was greeted by a bright light from a candle. She blinked once, twice, in attempt to adjust to the blaze in her dark room.

"Hey…you came." She flashed him a lazy smile, rubbing her eyes from drowsiness before she raised her upper body with the support of her elbows. Then she fully sat up.

"Course I came. You know we've been doing this for years." He smirked and gave a wink. Standing, he moved to sit on the bed, facing her while presenting the black-forest tart with a 4-inch diameter.

White soft cream embroidered the top edge of the cake with four fresh cherries planted firmly in equal distance on it. Shaved dark chocolate was arranged delicately on the top and a single lit candle with pink swirls coating the white wax stood straight in the middle of the chocolate cake. More tiny chocolate pieces decorated and covered the outer side of the tart with the help of identical cream, causing Buffy to drool when she observed the whole cake.

"Ooh…black forest! I love black forest…" She exclaimed excitedly, her face lit up and enhanced by the bright glow. Spike grinned from ear to ear at her childlike reaction.

"I know, pet. You told me on your last birthday." He stated. She smiled cheerfully at him, then looked back at the mouth-wateringly tartlet.

Spike and Buffy had made a birthday routine ever since her twelfth birthday. He would come at midnight by climbing over her window, which was intentionally unlocked and opened slightly by Buffy. He’d also bring a small cake, enough for the two of them to eat, two plastic forks, a candle and of course, a birthday present. The funny thing was, nobody knew about this. Not even Xander or Willow. And not even Joyce, the only person who lived under the same roof with Buffy and whose room was only on the other side of the hall.

"Well, come on. Close your pretty hazel eyes and make a wish." He urged her while still holding the cake with his two hands. Buffy obeyed him and closed her eyes for a long minute. Spike watched her intently. She looked so beautiful at that moment, even though her hair was tousled. Her face glowed vibrantly and she looked absolutely like an angel. He smiled to himself.

Buffy opened her eyes and saw him staring at her. She ducked her head slightly, suddenly feeling shy. Then she blew the candle out softly and the room once again went pitch-black. She reached for her nightstand and searched for a bedside light switch. The room beamed brighter than before. Buffy found Spike with his eyes still fixed on her. A soft pink blush began creeping across her cheeks.

"The cake looks delicious. D-do you bring forks with you? I-I can't wait to try it." She piped up nervously. Spike finally snapped out of his haze and set the cake down on the nightstand.

"Yeah, sure. Give me a sec." He stood up, strolled towards his bag that was near the window, and brought it to her. Digging inside it, he searched for the forks and the gift he had prepared for her. He grinned widely when he pulled out a medium square, velvet box. "Happy birthday, Buffy," said Spike as he stuck the box out to her. Buffy open the box curiously. Her eyes widened when she saw the content of it. She looked back at him, agape.

"Spike, this is beautiful." She stared down again at the silver necklace that was set charmingly in a circle. It was simple, which was why Buffy liked it. A flower-shaped pendant was filled with five white gems, each on every petal and an additional similar stone added on the centre of the flower. She traced the silver chain with the tip of her index finger, then onto the pendant lovingly.

"I know it's nothing compared to your grandmother's bracelet…" His voice trailed off.

"No, it's as beautiful as my grandma's bracelet. And I love it. Thank you." She leaned forward to give a tight hug. Spike, accepting her embrace, ran his hand down smoothly on her golden locks.

"Your welcome." He inhaled her vanilla scent and exhaled his response. As she pulled back, Spike cupped her cheek still and caressed his thumb over the soft skin, his eyes bore into hers. Buffy's hazel eyes stretched wider, searching for anticipation in his. Strangely, he came to his senses in a brief moment and pulled back from her. He grabbed the box and took the necklace, holding it in the air as he said, "C'mere. Let me see if this necklace is worthy enough to be around your lovely neck." He gestured her to lean forward again. Buffy blushed at his statement but complied anyway. After he unlatched the hook, he also bent over her and encircled the jewellery around her neck. The scent of her filled his nostrils stronger as his nose was only an inch away from the crook of her neck. He was concentrating his hardest in completing the task but it was quite impossible with the display of her ivory flesh, just begging to be nipped on.

Buffy, on the other hand, tried to steady her heart beat and breathe normally. She stared blankly at the empty space but sometimes stole a glance at him. Spike took much longer hooking the clasp than he intended to, much to her dismay. It was obviously uncomfortable. A similar yet bizarre commotion washed over her when she felt his warm breath brush teasingly against her neck.

After two or three more tries, Spike finally succeeded. He pulled back from her almost too abruptly. Buffy mumbled her 'thank you' again while she brushed her thumb over the pendant. He only nodded, his gaze fell on the abandoned cake on the nightstand.

"Aren't you going to try that, luv? I know you've been eyeing the cake ever since you laid your eyes on it." He joked, a smirk creeping over his features. Buffy glared playfully at him. She took the tart and a fork that Spike handed to her.

"Wait…" She put the cake back on the nightstand and bent over to reach for something under her bed. She smiled proudly when she placed a wooden bed tray between them. Spike barely managed not to arch his scarred brow.

"You keep a bed tray under your bed? Now tell me, why have I never known that?"

She rolled her eyes. "Nooo…I don't keep a bed tray under my bed. Cordy and I used it for playing cards the other day but I forgot to return it." She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. She retook the cake and set it on the tray.

For fifteen minutes, the situation went back to normal. They chitchatted in a best friend manner while eating the black forest, laughed softly at each other’s jokes and attempted to keep their voices down as to not awake the older Summers—at least until Buffy shushed him and stretched her small hand out to his face. She wiped delicately a tint of white cream on the corner of his mouth with her middle finger. Then she brought her finger to her own mouth and sucked the cream, devouring it in a slow motion. Her tongue tasted the exotic flavor of dairy mixed with a hint of tobacco. It was striking to her.

Spike only stared at her astonished. He stifled his groan when she sucked her own middle finger while her eyes were fixed on him. Unconsciously he swallowed hard, his tight jeans felt tighter at her action. He shifted his position as to adjust the tightness of his denim.

"Right, uhh…where were we?" He broke his gaze off of her, looking at anything else but her.

"You were saying that you went to a soccer game with Xander this afternoon." Buffy dabbed a small amount of the cream from the tart and sucked her finger again, her eyes were still fixed on him innocently. Spike's gaze fell back on her. He suppressed the grunt in his chest while he shifted his position again.

"Yeah…course. Well, those stupid blokes kept running around after this halfback whom they believed to be the best shooter." He rolled his eyes and shook his head disbelievingly. Buffy chuckled softly, then continued eating as she intently listened to him.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

"I better go, pet. It's almost 2 already." He grabbed his bag, slung it over his shoulder and stood up. The petite blond descended the bed and followed him, heading towards the window. He pushed it upward enough for him to slip in. He leaned over, skidded across the window then landed one boot on the second top step of the ladder and the other on the third.

Buffy looked down to him from the other side of the window. "Thank you, Spike. For everything." She smiled genuinely. Spike gave a similar smile back to her.

"Anytime, pet." He winked at her before he leaned forwards and kissed her cheek. His feet started climbing down the ladder while his lips were still in contact with her cheek, rubbing down the skin and brushing lightly against her lips.

The slight touch on her lips held enough power to send tingles all over her body. Hazel eyes locked on dark blue eyes. Spike kept sliding down but his eyes remained set on hers. Once he attained the ground, he turned around and stomped away from her house, hands shoved inside his duster pockets. 'Gotta get away from here, mate. Or else God knows what I'll do,' His mind warned him as he attempted to compose himself.

The petite blond still stared down at the black clad figure. Her hands gripped the base of the window. One of them slowly reached for her lips and touched gently on the spot where Spike’s had vaguely swept over.

Chapter 17: Conversation with Other People...besides You

She paced around in circles, frustrated. Every once in a while, she came out of her room, wandering around the house as to take her mind off of the event of two days ago. She hadn't seen him since then. Joyce was a little worried about her only daughter, furrowing her delicate brows while she watched her coming and leaving the kitchen every fifteen minutes.

"Honey, is there something wrong? You keep toddling around the kitchen and please don't make me take my third aspirin today." Buffy stopped at her mother's comment. She heaved a sigh and decided to sit on one of the kitchen stools.

"I'm sorry, Mum. I just didn't get much sleep, is all," she lied effortlessly. But Joyce didn't buy it. She could see clearly something had been bothering the petite blond.

"Are you sure? You know you can always talk to me, sweetie. Or do you want to change your mind and have a party after all?" The older Summers coaxed her to open up.

Buffy had stated that she did not want to have a birthday party, considering all the incidents that had happened during her last three ones.

"I know…and no, I haven't changed my mind. I still don't wanna have a party at all," she offered her mother a half-hearted smile. "I'm going for a walk. I'll be back before dinner." Before Joyce could open her mouth, she had already fled the house.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

Buffy replayed the events from the midnight of her birthday while her feet dragged behind her, wandering around Main Street. Her fingers absently played with the pendant of the necklace Spike gave her. 'No, this is not happening. It was all just a mistake. Spike and I are best friends, and nothing can change that.' She assured herself desperately. Yeah, right. 'It was just an innocent kiss. No, wait…you can't even call that a kiss! That was lips accidentally brushing against lips. Yeah, that was it.' The more she tried to convince herself, the more she was in doubt. If it was whatever she called it, then what with the tingling sensations she had had every time she remembered it? 'Maybe that was a part of my birthday present.' She rationalized again. Hey, since when did they have a kiss routine for birthday presents?

Speaking of presents, Willow and Xander had come to her house the morning after Spike's and Buffy's little tradition. Willow gave her a red sexy dress that screamed "Hellooo sugar daddy, come to momma!" Buffy was wide-eyed when the dress was laid out. It had a very low neckline, which would display the entire valley of her breasts. The backside was only covered with a thin horizontal strap whose ends attached two vertical spaghetti straps that hung on both sides. The hem of the dress barely touched the knee and there were two slits on each side that reached the middle of the thigh. Willow only giggled at her best friend's expression. Buffy's jaw dropped to the floor as she eyed the dress intently. She was sure her mother wouldn't allow her, under any circumstances, to wear that dress. So she quickly hid it between stacks of her clothes in her closet as soon as Willow and Xander went home.

Xander, on the other hand, gave her an x-box game about vampire slayers. The ironic thing was Buffy didn't have the console. He knew that, but he could care less because she would play it at Spike's place. And as soon as it was left at his house, it would become a permanent possession there. Hence, Xander would be able to play it there as well. Smart ass.

And Joyce, she was too caught up with her work. So she gave Buffy a one-day shopping spree, allowing her daughter to shop till she dropped with her platinum credit card. Buffy was satisfied enough with her mother's decision though she hadn't decided when she would do it.

"This is not working," Buffy whined. The whole getting some fresh air to take her mind off of Spike was not working at all. She quickened her pace as if to erase Spike from her brain faster, without acknowledging a huge body was about to bump into her. "Sorry," she instinctively apologized as she looked up to the person in front of her.

"Whoa, what's the rush, baby? Running after the time, I see." A broad shouldered, dirty blond man was staring down at her. He had plastered an amused smile on his façade, twinkles in his blue eyes. Buffy stared at him, agape.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

Meanwhile…

"…you should see the features on the Star Wars II I just bought yesterday. They're really cool. They even have an interview with that hot chick Natalie Portman. And I can't wait for the next Star- Spike, are you listening to me?" Xander asked in annoyance at his friend who kept silence and looked around the street, trying to find something interesting other than Xander's praises to Star Wars movies.

"Yeah, I'm listening. You said about Star Wars, right?" Spike finally gave his full attention to the brunette.

"And??" Xander narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"And that interview with that hot bird Natalie Sportman."

"Portman," the brunette corrected. Spike rolled his eyes, then resumed his walking with Xander in tow. Xander spoke again, changing the subject. "So, did Buffy like the necklace you bought her?"

"What?!? Oh, that. Yeah, she liked it," Spike answered soberly. His mind drifted to their birthday routine two days ago. He hadn't seen her since then nor had he called her. He guessed he was still confused by the mixed feelings he had towards his best friend, his surrogate sister.

Xander frowned, unsatisfied with Spike's response. His eyes soon squinted when he caught a glimpse of Buffy and a guy inside the Expresso Pump. "Hey, isn’t that Buffy? Who's that with her?"

Spike swung his head at Xander’s pointed finger. He squinted his eyes as well to see a better look at the said guy. "Is that…"

"Riley," Spike completed his best friend's question, which was now more like a statement to him. He gritted his teeth at the laughing couple. The scene was disturbing him. So that lips-brushing thing never meant anything to her. Fine. As if it would bother him anyway. "Come on, we've got a soccer game to catch." He stomped his boots away.

"Wait, shouldn't we say-"

"I said let's go, Harris," Spike called more sternly over his shoulder.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

Buffy was laughing heartily at Riley's jokes. This guy was not only good looking, but a charmer as well. He knew how to make Buffy blush in four shades of red. She never noticed Spike and Xander walking by on the other side of the street, in front of the Expresso Pump.

"I still can't believe such a beautiful girl like you doesn't have a boyfriend in tow. I know choosing a guy would be difficult especially when you have so many candidates patiently lined up for you." Buffy blushed again for the umpteenth time. She lowered her head timidly at his intent stare. "If it's okay for me to jump the line, would you like to have dinner with me Saturday night?"

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

"And what did you say?" Willow asked in enthusiasm. Buffy smiled at her, her eyes sparkled with anticipation.

"I said I would like to." She broke into a huge grin, followed by Willow.

"Oh, wow! You have a date this Saturday! I'm so happy for you." Willow jumped to hug the blond. Buffy almost stumbled backwards but was saved by the lockers behind her.

"Did someone say something about a date?" Spike tilted his head to the side as he looked at the girls. Two heads turned to his voice immediately. Willow pulled away from Buffy while her best friend smiled awkwardly at Spike.

"Yes, indeed. Buffy, here, has a date this Saturday night." She swung her body from side to side in joy and nudged Buffy in the arm. Spike frowned in response.

"Who with?"

"You'll never believe who it is. It's Riley!" Willow chipped in, answering for the petite blond. "Oh crap. I'm supposed to meet Xander now. I'll see you guys next week. Bye." The redhead scurried down the hall, leaving the blond duo behind.

As soon as Willow was out of sight, Spike spoke up. "YOU have a date with Riley?!?" He spat Riley's name with repulsion.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Is it that bad?"

"With the captain cardboard, yes I would say it IS that bad."

"Basketball."

"What?" Spike furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Basketball. He's the captain of basketball, not cardboard." Buffy corrected him, ignoring his sarcasm. It was Spike's turn to roll his eyes.

"I know who he is, Buffy. In fact I know everything about him. He's your regular nancy boy that doesn't give a shit about anything.”

Buffy sighed. 'Here he goes again. Judging every guy I date.'

"Yeah yeah…whatever, Spike. Look, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later."

There, in the empty hall, Spike was left with frustration in his head.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

The phone rang perkily in Spike's room. He tried to block the noise by putting a pillow over his head. But it didn’t help. He had been attempting to get some sleep early this evening, catching up on some winks for the lack of the last two nights' sleep. Buffy's date was, of course, one of the reasons he couldn't doze off. The phone still rang continuously.

"Oh balls. Can't a bloke get a descent sleep for once?" Spike grumbled as he felt around for the wireless. "'Lo??" He muffled his greeting under his pillow. A sob was heard from the other line.

"Spike…" He immediately got up and sat straight on his bed.

"Buffy? What's wrong?" Full concern was evident in his voice. He hated to hear her crying. It tore his heart apart seeing her in despair. Another sob filled through his ears again.

"Spike, can you-" Another sob. "Can you pick me up please?" Her voice trembled in a plea.

"Course. Where are you?" Spike flicked the table lamp on and grabbed a pen and paper as Buffy gave him an address, again in between sobs and sniffles. "Stay where you are, pet. I'll be right there."