Chapter 17.

Time passed slowly in the bar. Spike sat quietly listening to Faith as she told him the events of the evening. He just added a sympathetic nod every now and then, when she made eye contact with him, other than that he allowed her to get it all out of her system. It reminded him of when they were all at High School, Spike was always the listener, he was always the one the girls turned too when they had a problem, or just wanted to have a rant about boyfriends or friends. He had been like a big brother to Faith since they had met. He understood her like no one else, well no one else apart from Buffy of course. Spike couldn’t remember a time when he had seen her so low. Faith was good at hiding what she really felt, keeping her emotions buried deep beneath her mask, in all the time he had know her he had never once seen her cry, and she had more reasons than most to do so.

The conversation was interrupted as Willy approached them.

“Come on you two, drink up!” He said as he picked up some empty glasses from the next table. “Don’t you kids have homes to go to?”

Faith snapped her head up, just looking at Spike for the first time in what seemed ages.

“Yeah, I should get out of here,” she mumbled as she stood up from her seat. She wobbled slightly, before slumping back into it. “Ok stop moving the room, dammit!” She slurred before attempting the manoeuvre again. Spike grabbed her arm this time to steady her.

“My hero!” She drawled sarcastically.

Spike put his arm around her waist and led her towards his car that was parked outside, leaning her against the wing he rummaged in his pockets for the keys. She slid slowly down the side of the car, until she was sitting in the road with her back against the cold metal. Spike opened the car door, and reached his hand down to pull the inebriated brunette up.

“I am not getting into this heap of junk, so you can dream on asshole! I don’t even know what I have been talking to you for! Not after what you have done!” She snapped.

He ignored and pulled her up, pushing her into the passenger seat.

“Three things Faith,” he began, “one, this is not a heap of junk, it’s a brand new BMW! Two, there is no way on earth I am letting you walk home in this state! And three whatever I may have done, I am always here for you if you need me! So sit there, and buckle up love.”

Faith clicked her seatbelt into place and gazed out the car window. It was true of course, it had felt so natural for her to tell Spike all her problems, it was just like it had used to be, just like past days. She had missed him so badly, but she would never admit that to Buffy, that would be like a betrayal and Buffy would never understand how she could still trust Spike with her secrets and feelings. She started to doze off to the gentle movement of the car, as it drove through the streets of Sunnydale. By the time they pulled up outside the apartment she was fast asleep. Spike shook her gently to wake her, she sat upright with a startled jerk.

“We’re home pet,” he whispered. “Are you going to need some help getting up the stairs?”

Faith shot him a glare, “I will be just fine thank you!”

Spike watched as the brunette unsteadily walked towards the front entrance. He laughed quietly as he watched her trying in vain to fit the key into the door lock, and he could hear her talking to herself. “Stop moving the damn lock!” She slurred as she made another attempt.

He turned off the engine and came up behind her, steadying her as she wobbled.

“Here, let me try,” he spoke gently as he took the keys from her hands, quickly finding the correct one and opening the door. “Come on, lets get you upstairs,” he smiled.

“Ok, but don’t let Buffy see you. You were never here, we never saw each other tonight, right!” She said forcefully.

“Right!” Spike agreed nodding his head. “I don’t think I am on her Christmas card list at the moment.”

Faith thought he looked upset by this as he helped her walk unsteadily up to the fourth floor.

“Ok, this is me,” she whispered as she opened the front door, “looks like everyone is asleep.”

She stumbled as she walked into the hallway, Spike caught her before she could hit the floor. He decided it was safer and quieter if he helped her to her room.

“Which one’s yours?” He questioned, pointing at the doorways in front of them.

“Straight along at the end, that’s me,” she slurred in reply.

Spike bent down and picked her up, carrying her to her bedroom at the end of the hall. He opened the door with one hand and walked over to the bed, placing her down gently.

“Can I get you anything before I go?” He spoke quietly so as not to disturb the sleeping housemates.

Faith shook her head then changed her mind. “Can you fix me a hot chocolate?” She asked.

Spike nodded and followed her directions to the kitchen. He had hardly made it there before she was sleeping soundly. Spike busied himself opening and closing cupboards quietly to find the ingredients he needed. He could here footsteps coming down the hall and figured Faith had come to help him out.

“Faith! Faith is that you? Look I am so sorry…” Buffy jumped back startled by who she found in her kitchen at 2am.

“Spike! What the hell are you doing in my kitchen?” She looked confused.

Spike decided the best thing to do was to come clean, there had already been enough lies.

“I ran into Faith in town,” he began, “she was pretty upset.”

Buffy looked at the floor, she felt dreadful about the things she had said to Faith earlier.

“She was in a bit of a state so I drove her home, made sure she was safe, you know? She wanted a hot chocolate so here I am, in your kitchen.” He shrugged his shoulders and looked a little awkward. He turned to look at her again, she looked so cute in her pyjamas, hair in plaits.

“You want one? I think I boiled a bit too much milk up,” he asked.

Buffy nodded her head. It felt almost comfortable, him here in her kitchen.

“I am just going to check on Faith quickly, I need to apologise,” she said before ducking out of the kitchen and heading across the hall.

She pushed open the door and poked her head around. Faith was dead to the world. Buffy walked over to the bed and undid Faith’s boots, placing them neatly by the bed, she then slipped her out of her jacket and pulled a blanket over her. She stirred a little and half opened her eyes. Buffy leant in to her, “I am so sorry Faith,” she whispered, and placed a kiss on the brunette’s forehead. Faith smiled and slipped back to sleep.

As she arrived back in the kitchen Spike was just pouring the chocolate into two mugs.

“Here you go pet,” he said handing her the mugs. “I better be heading off, early start and all that,” he smiled slightly.

Buffy handed one mug back to him. “She’s asleep already,” she replied, “you can have that one if you like. I know you are a big hot chocolate fan.”

She wandered into the living room and settled on the couch, Spike followed a few steps behind, he wasn’t sure where he should sit, and was about to sit in the armchair in the corner when Buffy moved along the couch. He sat down beside her, it felt good to be close to her again, and he wanted to tell her. Before he had a chance the pretty blonde spoke up.

“Was she, you know, ok?” she started, “ I mean I was really out of line, I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately! She probably hates me right now huh?” She put her head in his hands.

“She doesn’t hate you pet, she’s just having a hard time dealing with things, maybe you didn’t see it because you are too close.” He patted her reassuringly on the shoulder.

“Sometimes it’s like that,” he continued, “and in any case if anybody is at fault it’s me, if I hadn’t wound you up all day, you wouldn’t have flipped out.”

“Yes, well you were a complete asshole today!” she forced a half smile, “But I deserved it.”

Spike turned and faced her, she hated the way he could do this, the way he could just make everything ok with a look and a smile.

She leant back into the couch and pulled up her legs and tucked them beneath her.

“Spike, about what I said the other night, at The Bronze, about your mom and dad,” she played with her hair awkwardly and found a really interesting piece of lint on the carpet to stare at. “I didn’t mean that…I just want you to know…”

He interrupted her mid sentence and took hold of the hand that was currently twisting one of her plaits.

“I know pet,” he murmured.

The touch of his hand on her, sent a tingle down her arm and through her body that she blushed, but he couldn’t see in the darkness.

“I was sorry to hear about you mum, she was a good lady. I really mean that Buffy.”

Buffy nodded, she new he was speaking the truth, he adored Joyce, and the feeling was mutual, he had been very much a part of the Summers’ family.

“What happened to your parents Spike??” Buffy looked at him and saw an expression of pure pain spread across his face.

“You don’t have to tell me, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t pry,” she quickly added thinking it must be too painful for him. They sat in silence for a minute or two, slowly drinking their chocolate. Spike broke the silence eventually.

“It was a year ago,” he began, “just before Christmas, I had moved back home with mum and dad. It had been a pretty awful year, I need some stability, you know, something normal.” Buffy nodded, she knew exactly what he meant.

“We had all been out for dinner and turned in for the night. I couldn’t have been asleep more than two hours when I woke up, I could hardly breathe, the room was filling with smoke. I’ve never been that terrified in my life. I managed to get to mum and dads’ room, they were both unconscious so I grabbed my mum and carried her out. The fire in the hallway was intense, that’s how I got this.”

He pulled up his black t-shirt to reveal a long burn scar along his side. Buffy instinctively reached out and ran her fingers along it. She looked up at him, tears welling in her eyes.

“I went back for my dad, but the heat was too intense, I couldn’t get there, I couldn’t save him.” He choked on the words, barely whispering the last few.

Buffy held his hand tightly and pulled him towards her. She held him as he quietly sobbed into her shoulder. Her heart was breaking for him, she didn’t want to let him go.

Ever.

“You did what you could Spike.” she whispered in his ear, “You did what you could.”

“It wasn’t enough though was it? My dad died in the house, my mum, well it took three days in intensive care before she passed on.”

He leant back and pulled his cigarettes from his pocket, pulling one from the packet and lighting it. Buffy didn’t normally let people smoke in the apartment, but she wasn’t about to stop him.

“Spike, I am so sorry, I can’t imagine how it must have been for you.” She kept hold of his hand and stroked it gently with her other hand.

“Why did you come back here Spike? I don’t understand, why Sunnydale?”

Spike released her hand and shook his head, “ I need to be somewhere familiar, somewhere I know, with people I know…. I can’t explain really, I just knew I had to come back.” He drained the rest of his chocolate from the cup. “Anyway I better head off, I hear the new boss is a stickler for timekeeping!” He forced out a smile.

Buffy walked him to the front door, as she opened it for him, she stopped him before he could walk away. “Spike,” she held his arm and pulled him closer, “Can we start again, forget all this shit and just start again, be friends?”

He held her to him for a second before releasing her. “I would like that love, I really would.”

Chapter 18.

Faith awoke to the distant sound of the television. Some chirpy woman was describing the weather for the day, in a far too enthusiastic manner. The brunette pulled her pillow over her head to muffle the noise.

Buffy was in the kitchen making some coffee, she heard Faith groan loudly as she realised she was still fully clothed, and the events of the previous evening came back to haunt her. She appeared at Faith’s door, cup of coffee in one hand and a glass of Alka Seltzer in the other.

“I thought you could do with some of this!” She smiled meekly, as she placed both by the side of Faith’s bed.

“Thanks B, you’re a life saver!” She replied, voice a little croaky from sitting in a smoky bar all night.

Buffy sat on the edge of her friend’s bed, still racked with guilt about her behaviour the day before. She pulled her hand back through her hair.

“Faith, about last night, look I am so sor……” She began.

Faith jumped up from her bed interrupting the apology. “Don’t sweat it B! Seriously it’s no big deal. I just needed some time out last night that’s all.”

She padded into the living room, stopping to pick up the mail from the table on the way. She flicked swiftly through the letters, her attention was grabbed by the sight of two empty mugs on the coffee table, and a lighter. Spike’s lighter!

‘Shit, shit, shit!’ She thought to herself, ‘I am so dead!’

Buffy sat down on the couch and sipped at her coffee, she picked the silver lighter up from the table and began to flick it open and closed, oblivious to the look of panic on Faith’s face.

“So, um, yeah guess who I bumped into last night?” She mumbled.

Buffy turned to look at Faith and held up the lighter. “Would Spike be a wild, but scarily accurate guess?” She replied.

“Yeah, I must have, like, picked up his lighter or something, in the bar,” she lied unconvincingly.

Buffy smiled at her and decided to put her out of her misery.

“No you didn’t pick up his lighter, you did manage to pick up something else though. Spike asked me to give you this,” she handed her a business card. Faith looked at the front.

Charles Gunn Private Investigations.

She flipped the card over, on the reverse was written ‘Faith, call me xxx’.

“Oh god!” She exclaimed, “And it’s all coming back to me now! I hit on Spike’s friend!” She slapped herself on the forehead and sunk down into the armchair.

“Aaaaargh! What am I like! I didn’t know he knew Spike honest B! I was just…….Oh god! He must think I am such a tramp!”

Buffy stood up and squeezed onto the chair next to Faith.

“Actually Spike said he was kind of taken with you,” she said as she gave her friend a big hug.

“He did!” Her eyes lit up, and then realization dawned. “Hang on, Spike said that! You spoke to Spike!”

Buffy nodded, “Yeah, we had a pretty good chat actually. He said you two got a lot out in the open as well, and that’s all good you know. It’s all good!”

Faith noticed for the first time that Buffy was actually rivalling the weather girl, on the television for early morning chirpiness.

“So, it’s ok?? I mean, you’re not mad then,” Faith searched her friends face for the answer.

“No, it feels kinda nice actually.” With that she bounced into the kitchen and put the washing up into the sink.

The morning passed swiftly at WP Publications. Faith’s hangover has completely dissipated and she was skipping around the office, like a schoolgirl with a crush. Buffy meanwhile, had spent the morning looking at Spike over the top of the manuscript she was supposed to be reading. She hadn’t meant to, but the way her desk was positioned meant that, when the office door was open, which it had been all morning, she had a clear view. Every now and then she would peek over the papers, when he wasn’t looking of course.

It was coming up to twelve o’clock. Buffy was actually immersed in a chapter she was reading, when she was approached from behind.

“So Summer’s, see anything you like?” He whispered in her ear. His breath was hot on her neck, and he seemed to linger there just a little too long. She became aware that she was holding her breath. Before she could turn around he had moved, and was now perched on the side of her desk, head cocked to one side, that familiar smirk on his face.

“Yeah, this is a good read, definite potential,” she replied waving the manuscript at him in a flustered manner.

“Is that right!” He grinned back at her.

Buffy pouted, she tried really hard not to, but it was almost an involuntary reaction when she was being teased.

“You look a bit hot pet, everything ok?” he said softly, raising his eyebrow.

“We still have to get the air conditioning fixed,” she replied fanning herself with the manuscript. “It’s hot in here today don’t you think?” She continued, breaking eye contact in an attempt to pretend to read a post it note, Faith had stuck to her monitor.

He reached over and pulled the note off, examining it, then looked back to Buffy, “Yeah, very hot!”

Spike had decided he’d had enough fun teasing the blonde for the moment, so decided to change the conversation.

“Is Faith okay today then?” He asked looking up at where the brunette was sitting. “Has she given Gunn a call?”

Buffy was glad at the topic change and relaxed back into her seat. She picked up her pen and began to fiddle with the cap, popping it on and off.

“Whatever you said to her it really made an impact, she is, well she is different today, but your friend shouldn’t expect a call anytime soon. I think its small steps for her, you know what I mean.”

Spike nodded, “Well so long as she knows she can come to me if she needs to talk,” he said honestly. “You too love, I mean it, anytime.” He touched her gently on her shoulder and held her gaze until she looked away.

Spike jumped up from the desk, “Right, well I got um things to do, so I’ll leave you to it then,” he made his way back to the office.

Buffy’s phone began to ring…

“Elizabeth Summ…..”

“Yeah, yeah B! It’s me. Lunch, now!”

Buffy grabbed her purse and headed for the exit with Faith in tow. The lift doors had barely closed before Faith spoke up excitedly.

“So, what was all that in there?” She quizzed, eyes wide.

Buffy undid the clip in her hair and shook it out. “All what?” she replied in the most innocent voice she could muster.

“You, Spike, all with the flirting!” The lift doors slid open.

“Flirting, there was no flirting, absolutely no flirting of any description!” The two girls burst out into the street.

Faith laughed loudly and pulled Buffy back. “Oh Spike, it’s soooooo hot in here!” She mimicked Buffy, and fluttered her eyelashes madly.

Buffy snorted and started to cross the road heading towards the coffee shop.

“Well its hot today! So what!” She snapped, “That doesn’t mean I am all ‘flirty Buffy’”

“Yeah right!” Faith continued unconvinced, “Well it’s not just you, I have been watching you both today. All with the sneaky looks and the leaning all over each other making moon eyes!”

Buffy pulled out a seat by the window and started to flick through the menu.

“I know what you think Faith, but it’s not happening!! I am so not going back there.”

Faith raised her eyebrows.

“Yeah right B! Sure you’re not!”

Buffy finished giving her order to the waitress, who had rudely interrupted their conversation.

“Nope, been there, done that, never going back.” She said decisively.

Faith looked confused, and picked at the tablecloth.

“Why not? I mean yeah you had the whole breaking your heart thing, but you both seem kinda happy today, you know. One little chat last night and already you are happy.”

Buffy grabbed her soda from the waitress and took a big sip. “You hit the nail on the head there Faith, with the ‘breaking my heart and leaving’ thing. I can’t go back now, can I?”

“Buffy, I got a hell of a lot of good advice last night, the way I see it is, he screwed up bad, really bad, but he came back. That can’t have been easy. It’s obvious he still has feelings for you, and I am pretty sure you are the same. If neither of you cared then you wouldn’t have hurt each other so much since he came back. Would you?”

Buffy couldn’t help but nod in agreement, Faith did have a point. If she didn’t care anymore then why had he got under her skin so much, and why was she so happy just being around him today.

“Well there you are then,” Faith continued, “He left, but he came back didn’t he, so why don’t you try living in the now, and not in the past. Its good advice B! I am gonna take it.”

She reached for her purse and pulled out her cell phone, with the business card Buffy had given her that morning.

“I’ll see you back at the office B, I’ve got something I need to do.”

Chapter 19.

“Dawn! Dawn are you home?” Buffy shouted out as her and Faith pushed open the living room door.

Buffy dropped her purse on the table and kicked off her shoes.

“My feet are killing me, why did we think walking home was a good idea?” She continued sitting down and rubbing her sore toes.

Faith picked up a note from the table and handed it to Buffy.

“Looks like Dawn’s out for the night again!” She said,

Buffy read the note and threw it back onto the table. “Jeez that girl has a busier social life than me!”

Faith nodded in agreement, Dawn had become quite the partygoer herself since starting college. She had a social life that easily rivalled Faiths, and a particularly sexy boyfriend that Buffy was yet to find out about. Dawn had confided in Faith a few weeks back, she often went to her for advice about boys and things. Dawn found it easier to talk to Faith, she didn’t judge, whereas Buffy would fly into a blind panic if Dawn and sex were ever mentioned in the same sentence.

“So what do you want to do tonight then?” Buffy asked. “We could go out if you like?”

Faith shook her head, she was feeling a little tired after the previous night.

“I vote for pizza and a night in front of the television,” she offered.

Buffy walked over to her friend and placed her hand on her forehead.

“Are you feeling ok Faith?” She asked in mock concern. It was true, Faith was never one to turn down a night on the town.

The brunette picked up the telephone and placed their order, then settled in front of the television and began to flick through the channels. She never really watched much television, she was normally out and about. She admitted defeat in the end and threw the remote control over to Buffy, who quickly selected a movie channel. Faiths’ attention didn’t take long to stray from the movie.

“So B! I had an idea today, about Christmas.” Buffy turned the volume down and put her feet up onto the coffee table.

“I was thinking maybe this year we could, well, sort of have one.” She smiled in a very bizarre way at Buffy.

Buffy didn’t quite know how to react. Christmas was a bit of a sore subject in their house, generally they didn’t celebrate it at all, not since her mom had passed away. Faith was never one to celebrate Christmas. She had never actually had a family Christmas, she was always being pushed from pillar to post, and so she had avoided festivities since her childhood. Buffy had found dealing with this time of year difficult. It had never been discussed, it was just an unsaid agreement, and Christmas doesn’t exist.

Faith could see the confusion spread across Buffy’s face, so she continued.

“Well I was thinking I could get Xander to pick us up from work tomorrow, and we could go get a tree, and stuff like that. Then we could do a big Christmas Day dinner thing! I mean Willow and Tara are here and Wills is good with cooking and stuff, and she never does the Christmas thing either!” Faith beamed at her bemused friend.

“Faith, Willow’s Jewish!” She chuckled.

Faith was not to be deterred. “Well yeah, but apart from that I know she would like it! And Xander could bring Anya, and Dawn, well she hasn’t had a Christmas for years, it would be good for her. We could have a sleepover the night before, and have a nice proper family day after. It would be good, don’t you think?”

It would be good, Buffy couldn’t help but agree.

“So what do you think Buff, it could be like old times, all of us together making with the merry!” She wriggled her eyebrows in a mischievous manner.

“I think it’s a great idea Faith, and you’re right it would be nice for Dawn to have a family Christmas. In fact it would be nice for all of us.” She smiled and went to open the door, which was being pounded on by the delivery door.

She returned a few minutes later and placed the boxes down on the table.

Tucking into a slice Faith finished a mouthful then spoke up. “Maybe we should invite Spike? I mean we are making new starts here, so maybe he should come over too. I am guessing he doesn’t have any plans seeing as he is here alone, it might be nice if we invited him back in.”

Buffy had suspected she was going down this road, but strangely she didn’t find the thought of spending the day with Spike offensive at all. In fact she agreed with Faith, Spike should be there too, all the gang back together.

“I think you’re right Faith, although when did you get so insightful!” She laughed.

Faith shrugged her shoulders, “Hey I had a wake up call B! What can I say, I realised there are other ways to fill the empty holes inside me. I always held on to the fact that I have no family, I was letting it destroy me, but I do, I have you guys, and that’s all I need.”

Buffy stroked her hair gently. “You always have us Faith,” she whispered.

Faith jumped up from the chair. “Okay, enough of the sappiness! I got a reputation here!” She laughed, wiping a stray tear from her cheek.

She took hold of her glass and raised it.

“I think we should have a toast here. To moving on!”

“To moving on!” Buffy clinked her glass on Faith’s and they turned their attention back to the television.

Chapter 20.

Buffy sat at her desk staring at the manuscripts in front of her. She had decided that she would get everything up to date, before they closed up for Christmas, but that was only 3 days away now. She looked at her clock, ‘make that two and a half days!” she groaned. Plucking one at random she relaxed in her chair and began to skim through the pages. She was interrupted as Faith bounced over and sat on her desk, pulling the manuscript from Buffy’s hand.

“Right B! I called the Xanman and he’s picking us up downstairs at five,” she beamed.

Buffy sighed, “I am swamped Faith, I am gonna have to work late tonight to get through this lot, you don’t mind if I sit out the decorating?”

Faith looked disappointed, but then looked at the paperwork piled all over the stressed blondes desk.

“No problem Buff, as long as you understand that means me, Dawn and Anya have full decorating licence!” She laughed mischievously.

“Go for your life Faith, just no inflatable reindeer, please I beg you!” She put her hands together in a mock pleading manner.

Faith face lit up, “Inflatable reindeer! They do those???” She turned and wandered back to her desk. Buffy rolled her eyes, ‘please no inflatable reindeer!’

Five o’clock came and went, and soon it was just Buffy and Spike left in the office.

They had hardly spoken all day, apart from a couple of conference calls, and last minute problems on an authors deal.

“You didn’t go off with Faith then pet?” He asked as she came into his office and deposited the latest batch of papers.

She sat down into the chair and rested her head on the desk for a second.

“Nope, got too much to tie up before Friday, I think my head is about to explode!” She sat up and rubbed her forehead. “I was going to go, but I think Faith has enough enthusiasm for everyone at the moment!”

Spike nodded, “She certainly seems to be making some serious progress huh! Next thing we know she will be baking cookies or something.”

Buffy laughed as she stood up and collected the last batch of paperwork from Spike’s desk. “I don’t think that will ever be an issue, Faith and cooking are a scary combination, don’t you remember the exploding macaroni fiasco!”

“How could I forget?” He replied, before standing up and walking towards her. He reached down and took the papers from her hand, taking half and giving her the remainder back.

“Let me help with this,” he said softly, “that way at least we will get out of here before eleven.”

She smiled, actually quite relieved at the offer. Her eyes were starting to blur from staring at print all day.

Four hours, and several cups of coffee later they were finally finished. Buffy put her feet up on the couch in the office and rested her head back on the armrest, closing her eyes for a moment.

“Come on pet, I’ll give you a lift back.” He said grabbing his keys from the desk.

Buffy groaned, “Just let me quietly die here please Spike!!” she said before closing her eyes again. Her stomach made an extremely load grumbling voice.

“No way, come on, we can stop for food on the way if you like?” He said helpfully, whilst pulling the reluctant blonde into a sitting position. Her head banged into his stomach and she became aware that she was dangerously close to a part of his anatomy she certainly shouldn’t be!

She jumped up flushed and slightly embarrassed.

“No need Spike, but thanks for the offer. Dawnie called and she made some pasta earlier. You can come back for a reheat if you like?” She smiled.

Spike grinned and wiggled his eyebrows in a way only he and Faith could do.

“A reheat hey! That’s my girl!”

Buffy lead the way out, ‘did he just call me his girl? Breathe Buffy breathe!’

Twenty minutes later they pulled up outside Buffy’s apartment. Spike looked out of the window towards the fourth floor.

“It looks dark up there, I thought they would still be in full decorating swing!” He said surprised.

Buffy didn’t look surprised, “Knowing Faith they are probably in a forest in the middle of nowhere chopping down some poor tree!” She exclaimed.

They slowly wandered up the stairs, and Buffy cursed the day she chose this apartment over the other equally nice one that had a lift.

“These stairs will be the death of me!” She moaned as they rounded the final flight.

Spike turned the corner first and stopped dead, causing Buffy to slam into the back of him.

“Sweet mother of god!” She cried as she looked up. “I am gonna kill them!”

She put the key in the lock, making sure not to dislodge the enormous plastic Santa Claus and garish tinsel pinned all over the door.

All the lights in the apartment were off and it was completely silent. Spike steadied her as she reached for the light switch.

“I think it’s fair to say Santa Claus is coming to bloody town pet!” he exclaimed as the full extent of the evenings work became apparent.

Buffy wondered how the hell they had managed to get quite such a big tree up the stairs at all. It took up a quarter of the room, and was covered with the tackiest of all tacky decorations. Buffy couldn’t control her laughter when she saw someone had stuck a Malibu Barbie on the top for the angel! She gazed around the room. Above the fireplace there were eight stockings, and somebody had glued felt letters onto them. She read them across. Buffy, Dawn, Faith, Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya and Spike. She felt a smile spread across her face. Spike, who had gone to the bathroom, burst back in.

“Buffy, there’s a bleedin inflatable reindeer in your bath!” He exclaimed, before looking at the stockings.

“I meant to ask earlier Spike. Do you want to spend Christmas with us?”

He couldn’t hold back the happiness, and Buffy was sure she saw a tear in his eye.

“You have no idea what that would mean to me Buffy, really you don’t. The last few Christmases have been pretty rough. Thank you.” He pulled her towards him and placed a kiss gently on her forehead.

“This was pinned on your door,” he handed her a sheet of paper covered in glitter.

‘Buffy, gone to The Bronze for a post decorating celebration. Come join us when you get home (if you like!!!) Big kisses Faith, Dawn, Xan and Anya xxxxxx PS don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!!!!!’

She tossed the note onto the side.

“If you want to go I can drop you off if you like?” He asked.

Buffy shook her head and picked her way through ‘Santa’s grotto’ to the kitchen. Half expecting a deranged elf to jump out at any moment.

“That would be a big no, I am kinda beat. You want some food?” She asked as she poked a spoon into Dawn’s earlier culinary experiment. “She said that’s pasta! You think we can get her under some trade description act or something?” She said screwing up her face.

Spike came up behind her and took the spoon from her hand, prodding at the offending congealed lump in the pan. She could feel him pressing into her and it sent a shiver up her back. He pulled away.

“Are you ok?” He asked, genuinely concerned. He took hold of a strand of long blonde hair that had fallen in front of her face, and replaced it behind her ear, gently stroking her cheek on the way.

She said nothing, just leaning her head on his chest and allowing his hands to fall around her back. He pulled her closer and rested his forehead on her, breathing her in as he did, taking in the scent of her freshly washed hair. They stood there for what seemed like an age, Buffy’s hands slid around his back, holding him tightly. It felt so good, so real, and so……………… right.

Buffy broke away and pushed him against the wall of the kitchen hard, causing one of the pictures to fall to the floor shattering glass at their feet.

“Shit Buffy, I am sorry….”

She cut him off pushing her finger against his lips. His eyes searched her face, confused by what was happening. He didn’t know what she wanted. He didn’t want to mess up now.

Buffy took her finger from his lips and slowly ran it along his cheekbones. She didn’t know what she was doing, this was so ‘not Buffy’, but it felt so right. All she could here was Faith, ‘He left, but he came back, he came back for you!’

Spike could see the scared look in her eyes.

“Buffy, we need to talk. There are things you need to know about where I have been.”

Buffy pulled her finger back up to his lips and pressed it hard.

“No! No talking, it doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is now!”

She pulled away her fingers and crushed her lips onto his, moving her hands up into his hair to pull him deeper into the kiss. Her tongue invaded his mouth, and he didn’t resist. He moaned as she pressed her body onto him.

He pushed her back across the kitchen slamming her against counter opposite. He leant down and lifted her up onto the side, standing between her legs and pulling her back into another embrace, never breaking their kiss.

Buffy pulled her lips from his and ran them down his neck, nipping gently along the way. She could feel him, feel his passion, he wanted this as much as her. Faith was right, you can live in the past all you like, but all that really matters is here and now, that is where you can change your future. You can’t go back and change the past, but you can take your chances when they come.

This was it, this was her second chance.

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