All Our Yesterdays
©2003 Evenstar

"Come, pet, got to keep moving. The next cycle's gonna start soon," said Spike as he maneuvered from one patch of solid earth to the next, carefully avoiding the slopes of mud that would send him careening into the swamp. He waited for her, watching as she tried to balance."Are you tired?"

"A little, yeah, but I'm okay, keep going," Buffy replied, following in his footsteps until she finally caught up with him. He took her hand and steadied her, then moved it around her waist.

"The next hundred feet or so look fairly steady, but stick close, can't have you tripping. Are you sure you don't want me to carry you?" She gave him the look again and he sighed.

"You're carrying both packs already, I don't think you need another hundred pounds. I'll be fine, Spike."

"Yeah, but, love, you're carrying the most important thing." The hand that wasn't holding her to him travelled down to her rounded middle. She was only five months along, showing prominently, which was a given considering her small frame,"And I'll not have the mother of my child burdened or under any more duress than we already are." She covered his hand with hers and craned her neck up to kiss him, just briefly.

"Mother and child are doing just fine. The exercise is good for me."

"Some, not this much. You'll say so, the very second something's not right?"

"I promise, come on, we gotta cover more ground before it starts up again, find a tall enough tree, or please god a cave." They started off across the mossy wet earth.

"We should head westwards then, there's a likelihood of finding a larger cave towards the coast. Wonder where the mouse has gotten to?"

"He's around here somewhere, I don't think we could be rid of him if we tried. Before you say anything, we're not going to try again. The last thing we need is more whining."

"Agreed."

"How much farther to the next town do you think?"

"Another day? Maybe two. My sense of direction is pretty keen, even in this bloody place, but it's harder when we can't see the stars, trees n' what not getting in the way and I don't fancy scaling up another one of these sky scrapers. Too easy to fall, too many branches waiting to pierce the heart. At least I can be out in the day with this kind of cover, no rays to smoke the Spike."

"Don't even talk about it, I can't stand to think..."

"I'm not going anywhere, Buffy, you know that."

"I know, what would I have done here without you? What would I have done anywhere for that matter? In case I haven't said it today, I love you Spike."

"You said it this morning after you woke up, and again after breakfast. But thank you, love you too sweetheart." They managed to traverse the terrain with minimal difficulty, never lingering on one footfall too long for fear of sinking. The boon of a rocky slope presented itself and after a few testing pushes with his boot, Spike deemed it safe enough to venture over. It was nice not to have to worry about getting their feet soaked for a little while. The vines that were draped over the tall trees came down only to the tops of their heads as they made their way to lower ground. The air was less heavy at this level, less humid, but it was much darker. Spike pulled Buffy a little closer, kept her turned slightly into him. Since the very first moment they learned that the seemingly impossible had occurred, and Spike had got Buffy pregnant, he was fiercely protective, as well as nurturing. She knew his greatest happiness was in taking care of her, though she insisted she didn't need it. However, in this new world, she was eternally grateful for it and him. She loved him completely and it made this quasi post-apocalyptic Earth a paradise. Where there was love there was hope. The hope was to provide their child with a good life. In and amongst all the chaos, they clung to each other and their love and perseverance was being rewarded. The prospects of bringing a child into this world was terrifying, but they were grateful for the miracle nonetheless.

Between the ruined cities of Los Angelos, and where they were heading, Seattle, the wilderness was a literal jungle. Soon after the First's attempts to reign Hell upon mankind were successful, Gaia revolted in her own way. She ravaged the world with storms of ice and water, then heat and aridity. Cities burned, nuclear explosions destroyed countries and parts of continents, disease and hunger eliminated most of the human race. In the process, the demons the First hoped would rule the planet were also put asunder. Little remained of the world they once knew, this part grown in a very short time into a miraculous expanse of rain forest and swamp. Once the proverbial dust had settled two years later, three survivors from Sunnydale were made to start over. Spike, Buffy and...

"Hey guys! Come look at what I found!!" the mouse, as Spike called him, shouted as he appeared several yards ahead. Spike sighed and dropped his head on to Buffy's.

"Best follow, bloody annoying little boy, but he's got a knack for finding things we need," Spike supplied, the boy's enthusiasm often irritating the vampire.

"He's not so bad," Buffy countered as they quickened their pace.

"If he makes one more bloody reference to how this place is just like Dagobah I'll tear his throat out with my bare fangs!"

"Play nice, think of how boring it would be without the comic relief."

"Oh you mean not having to worry about him spying on us when we shag? Perish the thought, don't know if I could even get it up anymore without the possible thrill of having him surprise us again. And again."

"Can the sarcasm, Spike. He's useful...and, well, he's our friend. You like him and you know it."

"Bloody lie."

"Hurry up! It's cool this time, I promise. Not just another tree that looks like David Letterman!" the boy shouted again.

"Coming Andrew!" Buffy yelled back, pulling Spike along behind her.

Chapter 2

So far since they began the trek from Southern California to Washington, Andrew had proven to be surprisingly valuable. Perhaps it was his extensive near perfect memory of every science-fiction novel ever written, or everything he'd ever seen on the Discovery channel, but the boy knew more facts about survival in a post-apocalyptic environment than anyone Spike or Buffy could have imagined. Spike had begun by calling him Gollum for all his foraging and need to please, but it softened into mouse somewhere along the way. Approximately the time when Xander died, Spike thought, when the vampire found himself in need of someone to make fun of. When he needed a friend.

The Scoobies and remaining potentials hid out for over a year in Sunnydale's underground. One by one they were either killed or died of a super-illness. That time was awful for Buffy, especially when Dawn's time came. Buffy never left Spike's side again, for fear of losing him too. When Faith bought it, things got interesting. Among the girls remaining, not one of them was called. There was a Slayer out there somewhere. The decision to go to Seattle wasn't impulsive, though perhaps a little foolhardy. Buffy had a dream, so they were following what the Slayer's subconscious told them.

Buffy showed signs of morning sickness. Naturally, at first, they presumed it was one of the innumerable illnesses that had plagued the planet. They thought she was going to die and it tore them apart. One month after that, Buffy got suspicious that perhaps her condition was something else. When she broached the subject with Spike he was dumbstruck to say the least, and too hopeful to believe it. At the time there wasn't access to things like home pregnancy tests or even doctors. People were few and scattered, the world above where they were held up for all those months was in chaos. They survived on well water, food grown hydroponically - something Xander had devised, and whatever Spike could scavenge from abandoned homes. It suited them well enough, it was a matter of survival. Getting out of Sunnydale and LA was no small feat. They'd taken the detour inland instead of following the coast in hopes that Angel and the others were still alive. The Hyperion Hotel had burned down and there was no sign of any of them. Los Angeles was a war zone. The three of them barely made it out alive.

A month passed and one night, as the vampire and his Slayer lay curled together in their make-shift bed that he heard it. The baby's heartbeat. Buffy woke to his tears wetting her bare stomach. They knew then that a miracle had occurred. A week after that she had her dream. A week after that they decided to leave Sunnydale.

Andrew said it was just like Stephen King's novel The Stand, when referring to the highways and cities littered with decomposing corpses and the remains of havoc from demons, humans, and natural disasters. The decision was made to travel in the wilderness. Certainly it made things more difficult, but in many ways it was easier to abide trees, ravines and wild animals than the remains of civilization. Furthermore, Spike was appreciative of having Buffy eating off the land, fruits and fish, rather than canned goods. They were making excellent progress, all things considered. Spike's best guess had them in Seattle in a month from now, perhaps two.

"Ugh, what's that smell?" Buffy asked, pinching her nose,"It's awful!"

"Sulfur, I think...breathe through your mouth. You're not going to be sick are you?"

"No, I'm okay. What can be so great if it smells this bad?!" A few minutes later the came to what it was had made Andrew so excited. It wasn't hard to find, they just followed their noses and the hot steam rising from the earth.

The mouth of the cave was just large enough for a person to fit through, opening up into a vast expanse that towered over their heads, an opening at the top of the dome letting plenty of light shine down.

"Would madame care for champagne and strawberries whilst she soaks in our springs?" Andrew welcomed them, making sweeping gesticulations with his hands not unlike the ladies on The Price Is Right.

"Bloody hell! Andrew you mad brilliant bastard, I could kiss you!" Spike exclaimed. Andrew waited expectantly, but received only a pat on the back from Spike. Beside him, Buffy was already unzipping her coat and ready to kick off her shoes."Hold up a moment pet, let me check things out first."

"Spike, I haven't had a hot bath in forever!" she protested, but one look in his eyes and seeing the trepidation there, she backed off. Spike shrugged off the two heavy packs he wore and progressed deeper into the caves to where the hot springs welled up into several large basins.

"He probably just wants to make sure there aren't any demon eggs incubating in the water, or any giant squid that have come up through deep underground interconnecting oceans like the one that links Loch Ness and Okanagan Lake in Canada." Buffy eyed him with a curious smirk.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's it. Andrew, listen, do you think maybe Spike and I could have some alone time? Maybe you could be just around the corner? Please?" The young man blushed, he imagined what Buffy had in mind. He nodded and she gave him a peck on the cheek as a reward,"Thank you and thanks for finding this. It's a godsend."

"Welcome." Suddenly there was a loud echo of a vampire's yelp and a mighty splash. Buffy and Andrew exchanged looks of panic, then rushed on after Spike.

They found him doing the back stroke. With a nod from Buffy, Andrew backed away and went to the left to find his own pool, while Buffy sauntered over to the skinny dipping vamp. She watched him, highly amused, as he dove under and resurfaced several times before coming to meet her at the edge of the pool. The look of utter glee on his face was beautiful, he hadn't show this much enthusiasm in months. The only exception was when they'd discuss the baby. Buffy picked up his discarded leather duster and clothing and made a neat pile before taking off her own clothes.

"Let me help you down, love, it's a tad slippy," Spike warned, taking both her hands as he guided her to the water. Buffy started to moan appreciatively the very second the hot spring water touched her toes. She let herself go and submersed herself fully in the water. The past two years of hardship seemed to melt away as her aching bones were warmed to the marrow and her muscles relaxed.

"Mmmm...heaven," she sighed. Spike wrapped himself around her and pulled them to the center where his feet barely touched and they could wade.

"Heaven, love, is wherever you are."

Chapter 3

Buffy broke away from him and dove under the water, circling around behind him, getting a lovely clear view of his tight behind. She couldn't resist giving a cheek a tweak,"Bloody hell woman!" he yowled, moving away from her. She resurfaced with a wide smile on her face, her skin flushed from the heat of the water.

"Oh ppffft! Don't be a spoil sport, I haven't had a hot bath in two freaking years! I could spend hours, days, weeks in here!"

"Ten minutes."

"Huh?"

"Hyperthermia, s'bad for the baby. No more than ten minutes at a time, then you can just sit and soak your feet." She was already pulling herself to the edge and getting out,"Buffy, wait..."

"Why the hell didn't you tell me before I dove right in!? Why didn't I know this? Terribly mother...terrible mother..." He rushed over and grabbed her, keeping her in with him.

"You're not hurting the baby and you're not a terrible mother. Quite the opposite, no one's more careful than you, pet, no one could possibly love a child more than you already do. Relax with me, come, you're all naked and warm...lovely, beautiful, intoxicating Buffy for me." He pulled her back into the water and wrapped his arms around her. He held her close and came down to kiss her, easing his tongue past her lips and deep into her mouth, curling it around hers. Outside the cave there was a faint rumbling as the next cycle of rain storms began. The storms came in with the tides, like clockwork, every day. More often than not they'd get caught in the deluge, though they certainly got clean, it often ruined many of their supplies, not mention exposing the two humans to catching colds or anything else. Spending the latest storm in cave full of hot mineral springs was definitely preferable."My beautiful girl...sweet....golden..." He whispered affections to her between breaths before delving back into her succulent mouth whilst his hands meanwhile kneaded and caressed her flesh.

This was the first bit of peace they'd had in so long neither could remember when. They often, always, found sanctuary in the other during this purgatory, but it always had felt as though they we loving on borrowed time. In this place, however, there wasn't much more than the contentment of being warm and safe and together.

They played in the water until they deemed Buffy had spent her allotted time submersed. Spike sat her bare bum on the rock surface, leaving her legs in the water up to her knees. In turn, he sat down in front of her and rested his head back against her stomach. The feel of the soft wisps of hair between her legs against the back of his next were absolutely thrilling. Under the water he began to massage the arches of her feet, making the Slayer moan in pleasure. She ran her finger through and through his hair, then down to massage his shoulders.

"How are you feeling, pet?"

"Sleepy, warm and deeply aroused." He peered back over his shoulder with eyebrow arched.

"Hmmm? Think I might have to do something about that..." He turned around, coming face to face with her heated center, all pink and swollen, her tummy rounded and full, everything about her was divine. Placing both hands on her middle, he dropped his head and kissed where the baby was nestled inside his mate. He moved higher, to her breasts, stroking his cheek over the areole and sensing the nipples harden despite the heat in the air. He took one in his mouth and gently suckled as Buffy's hands played over his back and neck. He released the pert nipple and lay his head to her chest, looking up at her with dreamy eyes."I know this life is hard on you, love, not having a home any longer, being on this endless sodding camping trip...being without the....without the others. I'm trying my best to provide...but...but I know it's not enough."

"What you mean it's not enough? William, you've done more than enough, you've...god, don't you know? The world has been in one kind of hell or another for two years and you've gone above and beyond the call of duty to make it bearable. You've given me some of the happiest moments in my life, you've taken care of me in everyway. You've given me a baby." He sighed and nodded, and clutched her tightly. Every now and again he needed to be nurtured too."Don't ever doubt, okay? Please?"

"I don't...it's just hard, you know? 'Course you know."

"Yeah, I do. Love you."

"Love you...oh Buffy...I need you."

"Right here, not going anywhere. Come here, baby..." He let her pull him from the water and into her arms. Her thighs cradled his hips between them and as soon as he in turn became aroused, he was easing himself inside her. Buffy let out a long sigh and pulled him even closer. He was so incredibly gentle now when he made love to her, always cautious, but always phenomenal. He tilted her back a little and slipped his hands under her bottom, raising her up to his languid, long thrusts. Buffy had once used sex with Spike as a way to escape the pain of being torn from Heaven; now she let them both escape together.

He didn't always kiss her, sometimes as with now he wanted to look upon her face, look into her eyes. He wanted to see her love for him and he always did. The effects of the sauna like cavern had them both feeling light headed, slow moving, utterly and totally relaxed. The perfect way in which Spike timed and executed his strokes was driving Buffy to a easily achieved climax. The water-warmed thickness and length of his cock stretched her all the most pleasurable ways, never failing to touch her most excitable places.

Buffy curled her hips to meet each thrust, unable to prevent her moans of rising ecstasy from escaping. Her thighs tightened around him as the moment came increasingly closer. She wanted to close her eyes and fall into him, but he held her gaze with frightening intensity. Down between them he made lazy circles on her clit, watching in fascination as tears slipped from the sides of her eyes. He felt her sex tightening around him and the pleasure was glorious, but he wouldn't let either of them look away. There was something in him that craved connecting their souls this way, he always needed the reassurance. Her breathing was hard, panting, coupled with sharp gasps and cries, she was so close. Her fingers gripped his shoulders with bruising force, nails digging into his skin.

Finally she threw her head back and exposed her neck in invitation. She always offered, but he never more than touched the spot with his tongue and lips. Soon, under the pressure of her own climax he too came, washing her with his release.

They held each other, submersed once more in the water, kissing passionately and still moving together,"Tell me...that...this isn't..." Buffy whispered breathlessly in his ear."All...mmmm...we'll ever need..."

Chapter 4

Having the foresight to have brought soap along with them, Spike and Buffy also used the spring to get clean. Leaving the bliss of the hot water was reluctant, but eventually they relented this one creature comfort. There wasn't much about Andrew that surprised them anymore, but coming back towards the main cavern they were met with a roaring fire and the beds already made. It consisted of no more than foam rolls and sleeping bags, but it more than sufficient. The small bonfire, and a pile of extra wood to endure the night was prepared in a dry corner. Andrew was already unpacking the camping gear to make dinner. The smile of appreciation on Buffy's face was thanks enough.

"Got the wood before the rain started," Andrew explained sheepishly.

"Let me give you a hand with that, mate," Spike offered, nudging Buffy to go and lay on the sleeping bag they shared, also handing her his duster to fold into a pillow. Spike knelt down as Andrew unpacked the pots and food from his own pack and started to help. Spike spoke quietly, as so Buffy wouldn't be distracted from taking a nap,"Listen, mouse, I want to thank you for all this, today and the bit you're doing here. I know it's meant alot to Buffy, but it also means a great deal to me, you helping, always helping."

"Um...I...I...you didn't leave me in Sunnydale."

"Couldn't do that, you're a Scooby, just us three now."

"Four, the, uh, bitty Buffy."

"Bitty Buffy, I like that. M' glad you're here, even if I don't always act like it. You make things better for Buffy and for that I'm in your debt." Andrew got that nervous, twitchy look in his eyes whenever Spike was nice to him. The look usually turned into a few tears. As a preemptive strike, Spike ruffled Andrew's hair and gave him a nudge, which unfortunately was enough to knock the poor kid over. They shared an awkward smile and prepared dinner in relative silence.

Later that night, after dinner had been eaten and fire built up enough to last until morning, Spike slipped quietly into the sleeping bag with Buffy. He'd made certain she'd eating half his share of the food, arguing that it really did nothing more than fill his belly and the nourishment it gave should go to her and the baby. He managed to go on a hunt every few days to get blood from any animal he could easily kill. Mostly rodents, but he spared her the details. She felt guilty that she couldn't be the one to feed him. He wouldn't allow himself to take from the child growing within. There was Andrew, but the boy was a little too bite shy from the time long ago when Spike was forced by the First Evil to drink from him, to offer. Spike never would have asked regardless.

Still asleep, Buffy rolled half over top him, resting her cheek against his and throwing her arm over his bare chest. Spike pulled the covers up to their necks and settled down for the night. He was always the last one to sleep, waiting until he was certain there were no predators around. It was in this time also that his mind ran wild, full of nightmares and daydreams. At some point Buffy would sigh or mumble against his chest and he'd come back to reality. It was a reality that had them together and becoming parents. He'd sleep peacefully then, listening to the heartbeats around him.

***

"I'm no bloody Tarzan, so don't even suggest it Slayer," Spike growled as they stood over a divide between two dense expanses of forest. The crevice was no more than 12 feet deep, and only 8 or so across, but it was a problem with heavy back packs and a pregnant Slayer who was not allowed to take chances."Doubt we can go around, not cutting down a tree...I'm also not Indiana Jones, so there'll be no dumb luck or sudden cunning."

"Okay, okay, it was just a suggestion," Buffy replied, rolling her eyes."So I guess we climb down, then climb back up? It's gonna take forever and there aren't any vines hanging down and no one on the other side to tie the rope to something. So?"

"So what? You're the bloody Slayer, slay the problem." She was getting irritated. She knew she could play the baby card and garnish waves of sympathy if she wanted, but that would be cheating.

"Okay, toss Andrew over gap with the rope. We use a vine to climb down one side, and the rope to climb up the other." Spike thought it over for a minute then nodded.

"Right then, mouse..." Andrew squeaked, solidifying his nickname. Spike slipped off one of the backpacks and shoved them into Andrew's arms. The boy started to back away, eyes widening in fear at the approaching vampire."Come on, it'll be fun."

"The hell you say!" Andrew shrieked, dropping the pack and picking up two sticks, making a cross in front of him,"Back! You evil souless fiend!" Behind them Buffy giggled. Spike rolled his eyes and snatched the twigs from Andrew's hands and tossed them on the ground.

"Two things, mate, one - got a bloody soul! And two, making a cross with sticks is pointless if you haven't got the faith to back it up. And, they're sticks!"

"No one tosses Andrew Wells!"

"Mouse, listen, it'll be no trouble, you're but a slip of a boy, be like tossin' a kitten." Andrew cringed and pouted, then stomped his foot,"Come on lad, for the Bitty Buffy?" That did it, Andrew's face turned to a stern scowl and he relented.

"Be careful where you grab, I bruise easily."

"No problem, you're a real sport."

"They say you have a soul, but you're still evil."

"Not evil, mouse, just bad."

With that one minor crisis safely maneuvered around, the trio made their way through the jungle that was once Las Padres Forest, towards Seattle. Spike followed his nose, metaphorically speaking, towards a point on the map he hoped was still there in reality. Shortly after sunset they emerged from the forest to an area close to Big Sur. They avoided the main areas of town, any remains of its people and headed towards what had been there six years previously when Spike had drove through on his way back to Sunnydale after Dru had dumped him.

It was glorious, like the doors to heaven had opened and paradise lay on the other side, theirs for the taking. A monument to all they once held dear about the world, a monument to the world before the fall, before the ruin....and it was still standing.

It was, and possibly the last, Wal-Mart in America.

Chapter 5

"Xander always said that at least we could count on there being Wal-Marts after the apocalypse," Buffy commented as she and Spike pried the sliding front doors open. Spike chuckled, Harris could always been counted on for comments like that,"Cockroaches and Wal-Mart and..." She paused and laughed to herself.

"And what?" he asked, mirroring her grin.

"Well, and you. He said there'd be cockroaches, Wal-Mart and Spike because you were too annoying to get killed and what would the few survivors of war and disease do without a bleached vampire to annoy them?"

"Good ol' Harris."

"Alexander's a nice name for a boy, don't you think?"

"Yeah, love, it's a bit of alright. Good name from a good man."

"William Alexander Summers, or are you ever going to tell me your last name?"

"I prefer Summers. The baby's a Summers."

"Then so are you, until you tell me your last name."

"Summers it is then."

"Uggh!! You're so annoying!"

"Yep, me n' the cockroaches." Andrew passed Spike and Buffy each a flashlight and shopping cart,"Go wild young ones, go wild."

"Yay! Shopping! Even if it's just Wal-Mart, but I don't have to pay!"

"Meet you two back here in an hour, alright?" With a quick nod from Andrew, the boy was off in a run down the center aisle. Spike turned to Buffy and pulled her into a tight embrace. After a long, deep kiss he let her go,"You mind yourself, keep your eyes on where you're walking as not to trip."

"Spike, go, have fun, I'll be FINE. Your baby will be FINE."

"I know, love, I just worry."

"And I appreciate it, but every now and again, we gotta lighten up. Now, I love you truly, madly, deeply, but I need to go find a bra that can actually hold these huge things!" She gave her breasts, altered and heavy from pregnancy, a squeeze in front of him then dashed off, leaving the vampire wide eyed and, horny again. He sighed and headed towards the camping and home repair side of the store.

Andrew was heading straight for the essentials. The snack food ailse. Beholding the row upon rows of vacuum sealed and still perfectly fresh Doritos, Cheetos and other things that ended in 'os', he gave a shudder and advanced. He piled in chips, nuts, chocolate, cookies, cans of soda, dips and everything else his little heart desired. He tore open a bag of Oreos and took four in his mouth at once, promptly starting to gag. Fortunately no one was around to witness his embarrassment. At some point he thought he should go find some new clothes, but oh god, there was a display of Riesens!!

"Bleedin' Tiffany's this ain't," Spike grumbled to himself as he looked over the rings displayed in the glass jewelry case. He had been on his way to the manly side of the store in search of camping gear and weaponry, but the beam from his flashlight had caught the gleam of cubic zirconia and his interest had been piqued. He didn't think there was a real diamond in the lot. It wasn't as if he didn't feel inside that he and Buffy were every bit man and wife, but he knew surprising her with a token of commitment was just the thing the sweet idealistic girl that was still inside her somewhere would get all teary over. It would probably earn him a righteous shag too. Only fact was what he saw before him was neither stylish nor particularly precious. He moved on to the next case and grinned. Picking the lock, he pulled out the sets of wedding bands, testing the sizes on his fingers before choosing two platinum bands and putting them securely in a ring box, then the inside pocket of his duster. He knew this would make her happy.

He'd make it to the supplies eventually, he supposed, when he spied something as coveted as the Lost Ark. Rows upon rows of music CDs, discmen and sweet lord in heaven, batteries. Spike gave a snarl of victory and headed down the aisle straight to the rock n' roll section. C for Clash, D for Deadboys...R, oh yes, the Ramones. He snatched a copy of Loco Live and tore off the cellophane with his teeth. He ripped through the cardboard around the diskman with equal fervor, popped in the batteries and attached the best, high fidelity, set of headphones he could find. When the first notes of the punk band's rendition of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly journeyed to his too long denied ears he sighed contentedly and sunk bonelessly to the floor. Hey ho let's go, hey ho let's go...

He lay out spread eagle and waited for it. The music segwayed into Durrango 95...just a little longer. Almost there and then the near orgasmic release of hearing Joey's "1, 2, 3, 4..." Spike vamped out and howled like a wolf to the moon. Teenage Lobotomy.

"Lobotomy! Lobotomy! Lobotomy! Lobotomy! DDT did a job on me! Now I am a real sickie! Guess I'll have to break the news! That I got no mind to lose. All the girls are in love with me! I'm a teenage lobotomy!" Spike sang in conjunction at the top of his lungs. He was in heaven!

Buffy heard all the noise Spike was making all the way on the other side of the store. She laughed to herself, it was good for the soul to hear him be so happy. At this point she knew the Ramones when she heard them, even if it was being mangled by Spike's shouting it out. Now he was signing something about Psycho Therapy. She sighed and passed her torch light over the array of undergarments still hanging on their racks. Just because the whole world had gone all Mad Max, it didn't mean she couldn't still have pretty things. Wal-Mart wasn't Victoria's Secret by a long shot, but she'd make due. She tossed a couple of pairs of maternity bras in her cart, even though she'd have no need for another four months, then gathered a few lacy underwire things and camisoles. She also grabbed some new panties, a size bigger than usual. Pregnancy was unkind to Slayer's bottom, no matter how much the vampire loved to squeeze her cheeks.

She veered towards the maternity clothes. As if the reality hadn't sunk in enough already, Buffy took a moment to stop and look at her stomach. She ran her hand over the rounded expanse. She was happy, truly happy to have this, but here she was in a Wal-Mart after the end of the world. She wished the circumstances were different, wished so much was different, but on the other side of the store her vampire lover was signing about how Judy was a punk something or other."Your daddy's a nut," she commented to her tummy.

Buffy was so wrapped up in her thoughts, that she didn't sense the demon's presence behind her until it was too late.

TBC...

Chapter 6

The blow across her back sent the Slayer crashing into the racks of clothing. She had her hands out in front of her and landed badly, but her baby caught none of the impact. She rolled on to her back, then lurched away just in time as the basketball sized fist of the ten foot, dark gray lizard skinned monster attacked again. The thing was well muscled and stocky, not something that could easily be knocked off its feet. It towered over her with its rows of shark like teeth snarling at her, and white eyes fixed.

"SPIKE!!" she cried when she had a moment to draw breath,"SPIKE!! SPIKE!!!" She got to her feet, and not a moment to late as the demon stomped down where she'd just been laying,"Oh god, Spike HELP!!" The demon was relentless, and much faster than her on its timber like legs. Rather than risked being thrown again, Buffy chose not to run and tried to get in close enough to make a hard fast strike to any vulnerable spots and give herself a chance to get to Spike. Her foot stomped on the demon's knee, trying to pop it out of its socket. She didn't quite succeed, but caused the thing enough pain that she could dart away. Unfortunately, it gained ground and closed the distance between them in mere seconds.

"AAAaaiiiieeee!!" came a battle cry from an unlikely source. Andrew leapt down from nowhere with a metal rod in hand and bashed the same knee as Buffy had kicked out. Obviously Andrew caught a bruised nerve with his strike and the beast stumbled back, clutching his knee.

"Andrew, go and get Spike!" Buffy ordered, but it was redundant, as the demon was on the attack again. Together Andrew and Buffy defended themselves, counterstriking with fists, feet and whatever weapons metal racks could afford them.

"Where's Spike?!" Andrew whined, bravely putting himself between Buffy and the monster.

"I don't know..." Buffy's cheek was clipped by one of the beast's knuckles and she fell again, her hand immediately going to her middle in defense. She was the Slayer and she could fight well enough and possibly beat this demon if she was free to do so, but her condition prevented it. She needed Spike, and soon.

The vampire had cranked up the volume on the CD and his brain was tingling with all sorts of carnal pleasures being able to listen to real music again. He'd been at this concert, live from Barcelona. He'd gone two years without it and hearing it again now made him realize how important this kind of escape was to him. This was better than a good fight. Not, however, better than time with his girl. His lovely, beautiful, golden haired Buffy. One song ended and the crowed erupted in roars and cheers and screams. There was one scream however that didn't quite jive with the ones on the CD.

Spike sat up and whipped off the headphones. The sounds of battle hit him like a sledgehammer, including the sounds coming from Buffy he knew all too well. He was up and running in the blink of an eye. The fear came upon him all at once, it didn't matter that Buffy was the Slayer, it didn't matter that she'd fought thousands of battles before. She was his mate, she carried his child and something was trying to take that from him.

Adrenaline fueled Spike with a strength beyond the supernatural abilities of a vampir, his mind was more focused - save Buffy, sod all else. When he saw the demon attacking his woman, Spike moved faster, got angrier, got stronger. With fluid grace, Spike sailed over thirty feet of floor and on to the back of the demon. He reigned fists of fury on to the thing's spine, knowing bones were cracking under the leathery skin. The demon reeled back with a roar and tried futilely to knock the vampire off. Spike instead jumped back and slipped under the demon. He saw how it was favoring one knee and went for a killer strike, this time popping the joint out from its socket.

The demon hit the ground with a thundering, resonating thud and instantaneously, Spike was upon him, smashing his fists into the demon's face, breaking teeth and bloodying its face. There was a primal rage pouring through his body and through his swinging arms he let it flow upon the foul monster that had tried take away the only light in his soul.

"Spike, stop! Please stop!" Buffy cried. Her first words to him snapped him out of his berserker rage and he spun around to her. She pulled him away from the demon by his lapels. Ahead of them there was crying, someone was crying. Spike saw them then, just as Buffy had the moment after Spike had come to her rescue. There were more demons, similar to the one on the ground, only small."He was protecting his children, he didn't know."

The demon's mate, was there now too, wrangling her children behind her. The demon on the ground came back to consciousness and crawled back to his family. The female smacked the back of her mate's head and gave Buffy an apologetic look. The children glommed on to their father and helped him up. Buffy nodded to the other female, a silent understanding passing between them."She's sorry...her mate didn't understand, it's been hard, there's no one to trust...they're going to Seattle too...they were just passing through...seeking shelter, they'll leave now."

"How?" Andrew asked from her side.

"Telepathy...she spoke to me. They won't bother us again. She think's I've chosen a worthy mate...woah...." The room began spinning around the Slayer's head as the rush of the fight finally hit her. She wavered, then went limp with a cry out."Spike..." He went down to the ground with her.

"Buffy?" Spike asked in panic,"Is it the baby?! Buffy...the baby?"

"Just...gimme a second..." She breathed in deep and let it out, then repeated the calming technique several times until she could get her heart to slow, her body to release the tension and the panic she'd built up, to move the stress away from the baby. She took Spike hand and held it on her stomach, bringing him close to the life inside.

"Buffy, tell me..."

"We're okay, love."

Chapter 7

As if she and Spike weren't already glued to the hip as it was, Buffy wondered now if she'd be allowed to go to the bathroom by herself! After she'd recovered her nerve after the fight with the demon she'd broken down and cried, and he'd held her and soothed her. Then Andrew threw his arms around them both. Andrew had been a real hero and Spike had told him as much. From that moments on Spike had gone into uber-caveman protection mode. He carried her around in his arms while she was allowed to finish her shopping, she'd insisted, but he'd only relented when she agreed to his terms. Andrew pushed the cart.

Buffy's only contribution to the making up of the beds from those giant air mattresses they'd seen once long ago on television was to chose the sheets and quilt and test the pillows. Buffy wouldn't deny that this behavior of her vampire's was getting on her nerves, but she didn't let it show, instead allowed him to do ever nuance of work and let her relax. The fight had been the most terrified she'd ever been, the first time she realistically could have lost the baby. There was a mortal dread in that she couldn't allow herself to consider. This baby had to survive, otherwise the death of her friends, and all the people of the Earth would have been for naught. This child was a miracle, proof that there was still goodness and hope in the world. It was also what made Spike believe that he wasn't still an evil, unclean, dead thing. The baby was everything.

When that night's camp was set up, Spike made Buffy sit comfortably in the center of the bed with a chenille throw around her shoulders. He cast many quick, adoring smiles at her and she returned them in kind. He left Andrew to prepare dinner, as the boy often volunteered to do. From the grocery section they'd gathered soups, canned vegetables, crackers, baked beans (at Buffy's request, she had a sudden craving). There were other things too, sweet things, like puddings, snack cakes, and cookies. Buffy was in a pregnant lady's heaven.

Spike had reluctantly left them alone for the time being, in order to finish his original pursuit of gathering more militant supplies, as well as scoping out for more demons, thankfully finding none. He had been quiet since the incident, as if any words would take them into somewhere full of darkness and fear. They'd have to go there eventually. Buffy sighed as she finished her dinner. Andrew was already done cleaning up, he was quiet to.

"I haven't thanked you yet, Andrew," Buffy began,"For attacking the demon." Andrew always squirmed when receiving a compliments or thanks,"You saved me, really. A fight isn't always about who's stronger or faster, there's a lot of luck. He was about to get lucky, I was down, my back turned. But then you showed up and jumped right in there. So, I thank you, Andrew."

"It's okay, I mean you and Spike are like....well..."

"Family, we're family." Andrew gnawed on his bottom lip and blushed. Buffy let him be. Moments later the patriarch of their family returned, both pushing and pulling shopping carts with him. He left them a way's to one side, taking a few things in his hands and coming to sit with Buffy,"We saved you some dinner."

"Ta, love, perhaps in a bit, appetite's not quite there. You ate though, right?"

"I did. What you got there?"

"The bloody mother load, that's what!" He handed her a handful of medicine bottles. She read the labels - folic acid, calcium, and other prenatal vitamins,"For the baby, never too late to start." Buffy cast her eyes down. She heard Andrew moving away, sensing a private moment was about to be had. Besides, he was excited about trying out his new Yoda sleeping bag and matching pup tent.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was meek and quiet.

"No more sorry than I am...off listenin' to a soddin' punk CD...while that thing..."

"I was distracted, I got caught up in the moment, it's been so long since I've been able to let my guard down..."

"And the first time I let myself forget what kind of world it is we live in... Buffy, love, I was careless and irresponsible. It won't happen again. I'll be dust before your child is ever harmed. Forgive me?"

"OUR child. There's no fault here. You're just scared, so am I. But we're all still here, together. You know, I think that fight did one to the baby though." If Spike had any circulation she could have sworn all the blood drained from his face. She saw it happening all at once in front of her as if it were playing on a tv screen, how the raw, primal fear seized upon him."No, Spike, a good thing!"

"Sorry?"

"Give me your hand, sweetie." Buffy lay back and guided his hand under her clothing to rest on her bare belly. After a few moments there was a wave of movement under his hand. This was the first time he'd ever felt the baby move, until now it had been something only Buffy had felt on the inside,"There, how's that? Sayin' hello to daddy."

"Oh god..." There was more movement and as he stared in fascination at the round place that held his child, tears came unbidden and streamed down his cheeks. Buffy wiped the wetness away and inched closer to him. She wrapped an arm around his neck and snuggled her face under his chin.

"This world is so scary, we never know what the next moment is going to bring, Spike. We've lived through hell and we survived. We have rage and sorrow and guilt because we're still here. I never thought I would be, didn't think you would either and I definitely never imagined we'd have our miracle. I'm terrified of losing the baby, in this world it is a struggle just to stay pregnant, to stay healthy, but I'm so full of hope that I can't give up or let my fears overcome me. Our child doesn't deserve that. We have to try to not let our fears shadow how wonderful this is. I know going to Seattle is the right thing and your faith in me makes me stronger."

"I have hope, I have faith - I truly do, Buffy. But sometimes it's not about the big picture you've just painted. I'm in love with you and I'm in love with the little one growing inside. I don't give a sodding damn about anything else to tell you the truth. So bloody what if there's no more television, Man U, heh, or civilization period, or anything else I ever thought was important. I just want to hold him or her when they're born, I want to raise them up...want them to love me too. You understand?"

"I do." She pulled back a little and drew his lips down to hers. The kiss was immediately deep, tongues ravenous and desperate, the need too great to give and take gently.

The mouse squeaked.

Spike and Buffy drew apart, each letting out heavy sighs."Yes Andrew?" Buffy asked.

"Ah...um..." the boy replied.

"It's fine, what do you need?"

"My tent...I can't get the poles to bend like they're supposed to. I'm not strong enough." Vampire and Slayer shared a smile.

"Right, coming mouse, I'll help," said Spike, he then turned to Buffy,"Get in bed, pet, I'll be back in a mo'."

Chapter 8

About twenty minutes later, Spike returned to his Slayer. Buffy had changed into her new yummy watermelon pajamas. She'd brushed her hair out with her new brush, the long golden tresses that extended down to her waist were light, free and healthy. The mineral water had done lovely things to it, it was so soft. She was happy to have fresh toiletries again, the ones they'd been using previously had been wearing out badly. Hell, even the use of the Wal-Mart washrooms had been a godsend.

Buffy had neglected, possibly deliberately, to button her pajamas to the top. One curve of pale, plump breast peaked out to wink at him. He almost made a move on her, but caught her yawning and decided that sleep was the best course of action for them tonight.

Before that however, Spike had a surprise for her. He made a detour to one of the shopping carts and retrieved two things."Get under the covers, pet, time to go down for the night," he instructed, turning his back to her as he slipped off his clothing. It wasn't often he felt he could relax enough to sleep nude, but even with the demon attack earlier, this place was safer than any other they'd come across in the past two years. Behind him Buffy giggled."See something you like, pet?"

"No...well, yes, of course, 'cause hey, yummy naked vampire bod you got there - but you said go down and I was wondering if that was a proposition?"

"Always, love."

"Just checking."

"I'd wager though that you're far too exhausted, whether you know it or not. I'd like to hold you close and watch over you. I've brought you something, shall I show you?"

"Only if you come here and do what you've just promised, it's been almost an entire half hour since I've had close Spikey contact and I'm sucker for it, pun intended, so c'mere babe."

"You're a bossy chit aren't you? Fine, fine, one vampire coming right up, pun intended there also." She tossed back the quilt and snuck under, holding the blankets up until he could join her. She settled back on the pillows, head turned slightly towards him. The lamp that ran on batteries illuminated his features in a beautiful, yet haunting manner, but in no way was it frightening. He settled in close, keeping his surprise behind his back. He kissed her forehead,"Almost seems normal, eh love? Being in a bed, being clean for once."

"It's pretty nice, even nicer to have new clothes, lip gloss and hey, we can even bleach your hair Mr. Two Tone. There's almost as much brown as there is blond." She gave his shaggy mop of curls a ruffle with her hand, then smoothed it back and behind his ears. One of these days he'd have to cut it, it was making him positively bohemian. She smiled and her eyes dipped closed. It was then that something soft and cool touched her cheek. She opened her eyes to see that it was a small scrap of white colored cloth. Spike held up the newborn sleeper for her to see.

"Can you imagine someone so tiny?"

"Oh Spike."

"I saw it and I couldn't resist." He turned shy then, quickly bunching up the baby outfit and going to hide it away, but she took hold of his wrist, then took the sleeper from him for herself.

"I love it. I didn't go look at the baby department. If we could, I'd like to find a blanket..." He reached behind his back presented her with the very same thing she'd just suggested. It was a dark color, too dark to distinguish in the dim light, but it was of a thick cotton and as lovely as could be. She clutched both items to her chest and turned into him,"I love you, my sweet William."

***

You won't even try to sleep?" Buffy asked, some time later on in the night, after Spike had changed his position for the twelf time in as many minutes.

"Can't get comfy," he complained, beating on his pillow in an effort to fluff it up.

"Spike, this is a bed, not the cold hard earth we've been sleeping on for the past two years. No, this is you not being about to stop your mind from running away from you." He huffed out a breath and stared up at the ceiling. To tell the truth, Buffy was still a little riled up herself. She needed to calm down almost as much as he did. She turned over to face him and lay her hand on his bicep. He looked at her and smiled.

"How are you, love?"

"A little hungry."

"What would you like? I'll go get it, something sweet?" She nodded her head, then stopped him before he could move by running her hand down his chest and under the covers. Next her finger curled around the base of his soft member. His reaction instant, the muscles of his abdomen tightening.

"Slayer..."

"Shhh, just relax...want my something sweet." She kissed his shoulder, slowly dragging her lips over the plain of his chest where she then tongued his nipples. This always made him very excited, never able to hold in those gasps of pleasure that made his entire body shudder. Buffy gently kissed over the quivering muscles of his lower abdomen, taking her time to enjoy the softness and flavor of his skin. He was so thin now, she realized, when her lips grazed his pronounced hipbone. He wasn't getting enough blood. She wished he'd take from her when she offered.

He might not take everything she offered, but this was something he couldn't deny. She disappeared under the covers and centered down on what she sought. The anticipation alone was enough to bring him to full arousal, let alone the overwhelming euphoria that seized upon him when half the portion of his cock was taken in by her sweet mouth.

Buffy loved this, the taste and texture of him. He was always cool in temperature, but he took her warmth into himself, swelling as her tongue laved and pushed on the underside of his shaft. She rose till only the head was engulfed, sucking eagerly and hard, making him sob aloud from the intensity of it. Then, she took him in again. She'd become an expert with him, for him, and it brought her as much pleasure to give it as it did for him to receive. His hand went under the covers, his fingers into her hair, while his other sought to hold her hand. She reached out for him too and grasped his hand while she brought him to completion.

Afterwards she kissed him deep and feverishly, he could taste his release lingering in her mouth. Buffy turned and rested her back against his chest, taking his hand and holding it over her stomach as they both drifted to sleep.

TBC...

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