By enigmaticblue  <enigmaticblue@yahoo.com>

Rated: PG-13

Summary: Spike leaves after "Dead Things," wanting nothing more than to get Buffy out of his head. Wesley's still an independent contractor after the events of "Loyalty." And the Slayer's still living in the land of denial.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters featured below except for Nika. She's all mine. And I'm not making any money off of her either, so please don't sue.
 

Chapter 29: August 2004
 

It hadn't been a fun week for anyone. First, Spike and Wesley had both been infected with K'lagor venom, which, while it wasn't deadly, made things decidedly uncomfortable for vampire and human alike. Then, the client who had hired them to take out said K'lagor refused to pay, and Spike had to go collect.

Now, Spike didn't really mind playing the Big Bad in order to scare up their money, but it was the principle of the thing. He'd grown used to things running rather smoothly around Wesley, and he hated having to frighten someone into giving up what was theirs to begin with. If he'd been into scaring people to take money, as he'd done when he had the chip in Sunnydale, that would have been a completely different story.

It was entertainment at that point.

Besides getting poisoned and having to play creditor, however, Spike was missing Dawn rather badly. He'd gotten another letter from her, detailing the events of the summer and full of excitement over her senior year. She was dating some new guy now, whom she was certain Spike would love.

Spike was quite sure he hated the guy.

He didn't begrudge Dawn her senior year—far from it. What he did hate was the necessity of being in L.A. while she was in Sunnydale. He wanted to meet this guy she thought was so wonderful, maybe scare him a little. He wanted to be around for her Homecoming and her Prom, so he could scare her dates then too. Spike wanted to look over her homework, like he had the summer Buffy was gone.

He was more than a little tempted just to go down to Sunnydale and surprise her, but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to resist the temptation to see Buffy. Who knew what the Slayer's reaction to his presence would be?

So, Spike would not be going to Sunnyhell for any reason at all, not until he was certain he could avoid all temptation to seek Buffy out.

All of that would have been quite enough to make it a reasonably bad week, but then Nika got sick, and it was officially downgraded to rotten.

Dawn had been remarkably—thankfully—healthy all that long summer, so Spike had little experience caring for sick humans. He had the patience, thanks to his dealings with Drusilla, but no knowledge. And Nika was sick enough to cause him to put in a call to Wesley.

"How is she?" the other man asked as he entered the house. It was broiling outside, but Wesley always wore a jacket when he rode his bike. As he put it, if he fell, there was no reason he should have road rash everywhere.

The air conditioning inside was working overtime, but there was still the feel of the dog days of summer, and Wesley wasted no time in stripping off his jacket, revealing only a thin green t-shirt.

Spike shrugged. "Dunno, mate. Never looked after a sick human before. 's been a while anyway. She's got a fever, an' she can't keep anythin' down. That's what woke me up this morning."

Wesley frowned and followed Spike back to Nika's bedroom. The woman was curled up on her side on the bed, covered by several blankets and shivering. "Danika," he said gently. "Do you need us to take you to the doctor?"

"No," she replied with a groan. "It's just a flu bug. I'll get over it. Just need some time."

Wesley put the back of his hand to her forehead. "Are you certain? You're quite warm, love." The endearment slipped out without him even being aware of it.

"Spike's hands feel better," she murmured in response.

Wesley tensed, then relaxed as he realized what she meant. "His hands are colder," he agreed. He turned back toward Spike. "Has she been drinking anything?"

Spike shook his head. "No. 've been tryin', but she's havin' trouble with her stomach."

"Nika, you know you need to drink something. Do you have tea?" Wesley listened as she whispered something about her bag, and then nodded. "I'll get something for you."

Spike followed him out to the kitchen. "She goin' to be okay?"

"I think so," Wesley said. "I imagine she's just caught a virus or something. These kinds of things just need to run their course." He started rummaging around cupboards for the proper elements to make tea, and then checked her herb bag, located in the back of the pantry. As he started putting together the tea, Wesley caught Spike's skeptical look. "What?"

"'s just, I know we're Brits, an' tea's good for a lot, but..."

Wesley smiled. "Mint tea is supposed to be very good for stomach ailments," he assured the vampire. "Hopefully, it will get Nika settled enough so that she'll be able to keep something else down."

Spike nodded. "Makes sense." He watched the other man for a moment. "You think you could stick around for a while?"

Wesley gave him a sharp glance and could see the worry in Spike's eyes. He couldn't blame the vampire. Whatever Nika had, it was nasty, and Spike wasn't really equipped to deal with human sickness. "Of course." Wesley gave him a sympathetic look, knowing that Spike had been up all the previous night hunting down their errant client. "Have you been awake all day?"

"Didn't want to leave her," Spike replied in answer to the question. He might have added that he didn't want to lose her, but that went without saying.

"She will be fine, Spike," Wesley assured him again. "Nika might feel as though she would like to die, but I very much doubt that her life's in danger. Why don't you go get some sleep? I'll watch for a while."

Spike sighed and rubbed tired eyes. "A bed sounds right nice," he replied, then smiled. "Think 'm getting soft. Was a day when I'd have gone for days without sleep an' not even notice, an' then I would have slept on anythin' available, hard or soft."

"One can get used to most anything," Wesley said. "Even creature comforts."

Spike smiled and nodded a good-night before heading down the stairs. Wesley poured the tea into a mug to take into Nika. She managed to hitch herself up in bed, and he couldn't help but notice the pallor of her skin and the trembling of her hands. "Spike?"

"I sent him to get some sleep."

"You don't have to stay, you know," Nika said. "I'll be fine on my own."

Wesley raised an eyebrow. "Do you want me to go? I wouldn't think you'd like being alone when you're ill."

Nika smiled wanly. "No," she admitted. "But Danny never liked being around sick people, so if you don't want to stay..."

"And who was it that took care of both Spike and me just recently when we'd been poisoned?" Wesley responded. "I do not mind returning the favor." He could see a flash of disappointment in her eyes, and put a hand to her cheek under the guise of checking her temperature. In reality, Wesley had discovered he liked contact with her under any guise at all. "And I would stay even if we hadn't been poisoned, and you hadn't stayed with the both of us."

Nika smiled at him. "You are a true gentleman, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. I had thought the breed extinct."

"We are usually well camouflaged." Wesley watched as she sipped at the tea, sitting silently as she finished it. "Better?"

"A little," she acknowledged. "I think it will be a while yet before I'm ready for solids though."

"Then perhaps you should get some sleep," he suggested. "I'll stay right here."

"Nain used to promise that," Nika murmured, sleep tugging at her. "She would promise to stay with me."

"Well, I'm not your nain, but I will stay." Wesley stroked her hair, finding that the stirring in his heart was becoming more insistent. He was falling for this woman—it was becoming more than mere attraction. Romantic entanglements never worked well for him, however. And this was a woman who had lost her husband under tragic circumstances; she could hardly be expected to fall for a demon hunter again.

She could hardly be expected to fall for him.

~~~~~

Wesley stayed, occasionally reading, sometimes just watching her sleep. At one point, Nika began to whimper, moving restlessly in her sleep. He quickly moved to soothe her, putting a hand on her sweat-dampened brow, speaking in a low tone. "Danika, it's just a dream. You're quite safe."

After a moment, she stilled, sighing quietly. Wesley watched her, blue eyes far away and thoughtful. "How's she doin'?"

Spike stood in the doorway, the expression on his face unreadable. "Sleeping now," Wesley replied quietly. "Hopefully, her fever will break soon."

"An' if it doesn't?"

"We'll take her to the doctor, irregardless of what she might wish."

Spike moved closer. "I know you probably have other things to do, but would you mind hangin' around?" he asked. "You could run home, get a change of clothing, come back."

"I don't have anything else to do," Wesley replied quietly. "I certainly don't have anything better to do." He stood and stretched. "I think I will follow your suggestion, however. I could use a chance to get cleaned up."

Spike nodded. "That tea...?"

"There's more ready in the kitchen," Wesley assured him. "Just put it to steep as you would any other tea."

"Right then," the vampire said, coming over to take Wesley's spot by the bed. "See you in a bit, mate." He watched the ex-Watcher leave and bit back a sigh of relief that Wesley seemed to know what he was doing.

Spike had long ago realized that Wesley was a good man to have around whatever the crisis. He could be relied upon to keep a cool head and think through things. Of course, sometimes thinking wasn't called for, but if he let himself react, his instincts weren't bad either. In a situation like this, Spike wasn't sure he'd want anyone else.

He'd realized over the last day or two that he hated sickness, more than anything else. Most things that threatened his loved ones could be fought off one way or another. Sickness and death seemed inevitable if you were foolish enough to love a mortal, and neither could be fought with fists or fangs.

Spike ran a cool hand over Nika's too-warm forehead, listening to her murmurs of appreciation, and, for the first time he could remember, regretted being immortal. For the first time, Spike felt that the future was something to fear.

~~~~~

Wesley showered and changed clothes, throwing an overnight bag together as quickly as possible. He hated having to leave Nika with Spike for too long. It seemed obvious that the vampire was more frightened of her illness than of the demons and vampires they fought on a regular basis.

The only reason Wesley wasn't anxious was that he knew she would recover, but he could imagine the sense of helplessness that would come if the problem wasn't so easily solved by time and plenty of liquids. The idea of Nika not being there was more painful than he would wish.

Slinging the bag over his shoulder, Wesley headed for the door, just as he heard a knock. He opened it, eyes widening at the sight that greeted him. "Hi, Wes."

"Fred." Wesley stared at the woman standing in front of him, hardly able to believe she was there. "What—"

"Can I come in?" She didn't move, and Wesley finally stood aside to let her enter. "How are you?"

Wesley wasn't rude enough to ask why she wanted to know, but he was still thinking it. After running into his old gang a few months previously, Wesley had even less desire than usual to see or talk to any of them. Even Fred, whom he would once have given his right arm to see show up at his door, was not a welcome visitor these days.

"I'm fine," he replied, a chill in his voice. "What brings you here?"

"We have a problem," Fred replied. "Angel's been trying to translate this prophecy one of his sources told him was important, but he can't make it out. I thought—"

"You thought I would do it," Wesley finished for her. "Don't you remember what happened the last time I attempted a difficult translation?"

Fred's head went back as though she'd been slapped. "Wesley, you were just doing what you thought was right."

"That's what I thought too," he replied quietly. "Funny how no one else seemed to realize that at the time."

Fred swallowed heavily, knowing what Wesley was referring to. "Wes, I'm sorry about what I said to you in the hospital. I just thought it would be better if you stayed away."

"Is that right?" Wesley asked. He shook himself. Berating Fred would do him no good, and he needed to get back to Nika. "Look, Fred, I am sorry, but I don't think I can help you. A friend is sick, and I really should get back to her."

Fred blinked, surprised. The few times she'd seen Wesley since the whole Connor debacle, he'd been cold and remote, so his attitude wasn't surprising now. What was surprising was his reason for being brusque. "Oh. Wes, this is—"

"Important," he sighed. It always was. "Did you bring the text?"

It didn't surprise him when Fred pulled the book out of her bag. "I told Angel I was going to take it to an expert."

Wesley laughed softly, sadly. Angel would have known who Fred was going to see. It was significant that she still could not say who it was aloud. "Of course. I'll do what I can and then give you a call."

Fred looked as though she might argue for a moment, before finally nodding. "Sure. That works."

They stared at each other, and Wesley unwillingly remembered the days when he was so in love with her he could hardly think straight. What had happened? He didn't remember a moment when he woke up with the realization that he was no longer in love with Fred. Wesley hadn't even realized that you could fall out of love with someone. Virginia had been the one to break off her relationship with him, and he had eventually managed to get over his broken heart.

If he were honest with himself, Wesley could admit that there was a good possibility that Fred hadn't even realized how deep his feelings for her went. And now—now his feelings for her were no more than they might be for any other person he'd known and worked with closely for a few years. His heart was with the woman whose life he'd saved, who'd made curry for him, and who saw he felt welcome in her house. Nika had taken Fred's place in his heart, and he hadn't even been aware of it.

"I'll let you know when I have something," he assured her. "But I really have to go."

"Yeah, you should be with your friend." Fred watched as Wesley shoved the book, along with several others, on top of the clothing in his bag and zipped it back up. A sense of loss stabbed at her. She remembered when she had considered Wesley the calm, rational center of the group. He was a mystery to her now—his cold remoteness at odds with his concern for a sick friend. She had no idea who he was anymore, and she wondered if she'd ever known him.

"Fred—" They were standing in the hallway now, and somehow Fred knew that Wesley was letting go, just as she was. What had happened had changed them in an infinite number of ways—Wesley more than anyone else. "Take care of yourself."

"You too." Wesley walked away from her, feeling the weight of the past fall away with every step. That wasn't where he belonged any more.

He had his own place in the world now.

~~~~~

Wesley let himself in the front door, Spike coming out of Nika's bedroom to meet him. Ever sensitive to the people around him, the vampire gave him a sharp look. "You alright, mate?"

"Fine," he replied. "Really. I just—I saw Fred. She wanted me to translate a prophecy for Angel."

"Hope you told the chit where she could put it," Spike said, anger causing his bright blue eyes to spark. "After everythin' they've done—"

"I can look at the prophecy and watch over Nika," Wesley said, interrupting him. "I wouldn't have agreed to it otherwise. Besides, the people Angel desires to help are the people we want to help as well."

"We just have a better business plan," Spike muttered. "Right. Well, good luck on that then."

"Did Nika—"

"Woke once an' I gave her more of that tea. Think her fever broke 'bout an hour ago while she was sleepin'," Spike said. "'Course, it might come back, but she's alright for now. Figure she might want to eat when she wakes up."

"Broth would probably be best." Wesley went into the kitchen and started going through the pantry. "It looks like she has some handy. If she's hungry when she wakes up, we can heat it up then."

Wesley pulled the volumes out of his bag and spread them out of the table, raising an eyebrow when Spike plunked himself down in the chair across from him. "Were you volunteering to help?"

Spike shook his head. "I had a question."

"Okay." Wesley waited for several moments, before speaking again. "Were you going to ask it sometime tonight?"

Spike shot him a hurt look. "You ever wish things had gone differently?"

"What do you mean?"

"'s just—" Spike sighed. "Never mind. It's not important."

"Spike, I'm sorry. What did you mean?" Wesley modulated his tone, realizing that Spike was being serious and not trying to annoy him just for the sake of it.

Spike frowned. "Got another letter from Dawn the other day, you know."

"Usually you enjoy receiving her letters," Wesley pointed out.

Spike smiled. "Still do. It just makes me wish I was there. That summer—when Buffy was gone—we were...close."

"She still cares for you, Spike," Wesley said gently. "She wouldn't continue writing to you if she didn't."

"Know that," Spike said impatiently. "Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't have stayed though. If I did the wrong thing by runnin' away."

Wesley frowned. "Do you regret coming to L.A. then?"

"No," Spike said, so quickly that Wesley knew he spoke the truth. "No. 've just been missin' the Bit, 's all. An' I don't trust myself to go to Sunnyhell."

Wesley understood. He understood better than anyone, probably. "It will get easier, Spike. Eventually."

"You know that for a fact?"

"I told you I saw Fred tonight."

Blue eyes met blue, and Spike nodded his comprehension. "You got over her."

"Yes, I did." Wesley smiled.

Spike smiled in reply, but there was a wealth of somber wisdom in the expression. "Then there might be hope for me yet, yeah?" He pushed himself up. "Better go see how Nika's doin'."

Several hours later, Wesley was still looking over the text, a particularly tricky one that seemed to be mixing a number of ancient languages both human and demon. From Nika's room, he could hear Spike's low voice. Nika had woken about an hour earlier, ready for something to eat, but not feeling up to doing anything.

Wesley had been that sick himself, and he knew how frustrating it could be to be too ill to want to read or watch TV, and yet unable to sleep because you'd slept so much already. To his amazement, Spike had offered to read aloud to her, anything she wanted, and Nika had quickly taken him up on his offer.

Her request had been for Jane Eyre, and while Spike had cocked an eyebrow, he hadn't raised any objections. Nika had told him he could skip the beginning, explaining that the story didn't become truly interesting until the meeting between Jane and Mr. Rochester.

The normally rough North London accent had softened as he read, and Wesley could hear the hints of a more polished tone similar to his own accent. Putting down his pen, he drifted over to the bedroom door.

The vampire was sitting in the chair by the bed, the lamp on its lowest setting because the light hurt Nika's eyes. She was curled up, facing Spike, and though Wesley couldn't see her face, he knew she would wear a soft smile. "Are you going to stand there forever, or are you going to come join us?" she called, interrupting Spike's reading.

Wesley blinked, and then looked back over his shoulder at the texts on the table. He would need to put some more time in, but he thought he might have a few moments to relax with his friends. "I think I could stand to take a break." He sat down next to Nika on the bed, and tensed, then relaxed again as she scooted closer. His hand reached out of its own accord to take hers. Pretending to ignore Spike's knowing smile, he stretched out on the bed to listen to the tale of Jane and Mr. Rochester.

He let out a soft sigh. With Nika in his arms, and his friend nearby, Wesley knew he had come home. For the first time in a long while, the future loomed brighter than the past.
 

By enigmaticblue  <enigmaticblue@yahoo.com>

Rated: PG-13

Summary: Spike leaves after "Dead Things," wanting nothing more than to get Buffy out of his head. Wesley's still an independent contractor after the events of "Loyalty." And the Slayer's still living in the land of denial.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters featured below except for Nika. She's all mine. And I'm not making any money off of her either, so please don't sue.
 

Chapter 30: May 2006
 

There were three very private good-byes going on at the same time. "Will I see you later?" Spike asked quietly.

"Of course," Buffy replied with a smile. "If you show up. You know you're always welcome."

"Always?" he asked with a leer.

She raised an eyebrow in reply. "Anything for the guy that braved the dangers of Lamaze class for me."

"Dangers is right." Spike shook his head in mock resignation. "Never thought bein' Love's bitch would lead me there."

Buffy laughed, a real joy in her voice that hadn't been there for a while. Spike had balked at the door to the class, looking a bit panicky. "Sorry, luv. I don't think I can do this. You think Nika'd give private lessons?"

"Spike, we're here. I'm going in, with or without you. I had hoped it would be with." The exasperation in her tone was real. She did not want to be the only woman in there without a partner, and the vampire had promised to come. They'd even chosen a late evening class to be sure that the sun would be down so they could attend without risk of him getting singed. For Spike to back out now was uncharacteristic.

Spike swallowed. "Buffy, I don't know anythin'. Are you sure someone else wouldn't be better? Your sister, or Willow, or—"

"Hey, guys." Nika walked up to them. She looked from one to the other, seeing the frantic look in Spike's eyes and the annoyance in Buffy's eyes. "What's up?"

"Can't we do private lessons?" Spike asked.

Nika laughed. "No, Spike. I don't do private lessons. These classes are as much for support as for information. You'll be fine. There are a lot of first time dads in there who are just as nervous as you are."

Buffy elbowed him in the ribs. "There. See? You'll fit right in."

It was actually true. Buffy had noticed that Spike was dressing differently—a little more modern, a little less '80's punk. The hair was still bleached, but it was curly, and it suited him. He still wore dark colors most of the time, but it wasn't monochromatic. In fact, tonight he was wearing dark brown pants and a blue shirt, and Buffy wondered when the change had taken place. Was it his own doing, or someone else's?

She remembered that he'd been changing before he'd left Sunnydale. Perhaps this was just a natural progression, and had nothing to do with her. Either way, she definitely liked it.

He gave her a skeptical look in reply, then shrugged, defeated. "Your wish is my command, luv."

The class itself hadn't been too bad. Spike had stuck close and tried not to look too menacing. Being around humans almost exclusively for the last three years had humanized him a great deal, however, and Spike really did appear to be just another nervous expectant father.

Nika did her best to normalize everything they were going through, pointing out that all of them had come a long way already. Buffy felt that was never more true for any couple than it was for her and Spike. The rest of the class she had them laughing as she shared stories from her own past birthing experiences, all the while giving them the information they needed.

At the end of the hour, Buffy found herself making the acquaintance of a number of other women, while Spike got caught up with the other men. Apparently, the males as a group felt they needed to band together in the face of all that estrogen. "Wow, girl!" one of the other women commented. "Is that one yours?"

Buffy looked over at Spike, who appeared to be enjoying himself, even as he realized that he was playing to a crowd. "Yep. All mine."

"Oh, boy," a brunette leaned in close. "What a cutie. What did you have to do to snag that one? Or is he snagged?"

"He's snagged," Buffy assured her, smiling.

Another woman shook her head. "Just pray your baby gets those gorgeous eyes of his."

Buffy hid a wince, not wanting to explain that it was impossible for a whole host of reasons. "We'll see. He keeps saying that he hopes she looks like me."

There was a number of "awws" from the others. "Lucky girl."

"I am," Buffy agreed, then extricated herself from the crowd, heading over to join Spike. "You ready to go?"

"Whenever you are, luv." He gave a quick wave to the other men. "See you next week, mates."

She laughed as they left. "And to think you weren't sure you would fit in."

Spike shrugged uncomfortably. "They're nice enough blokes, all of them. Doesn't hurt to chat a bit."

"I'm glad," Buffy insisted. "I'm glad it's you with me."

"Me too," he replied. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

There had been a couple more classes since the first one, and Spike was more of a sponge than she was. Buffy found herself unbelievably grateful that Peter had turned out to be such an ass, because if he hadn't been, who knows what would have happened?

Buffy would have liked to believe that they would have found each other again, but it was hard to say. As things stood, however, they were happy, and she was getting ready for a baby shower with no men allowed.

Spike, Wesley, and Connor had agreed to vacate the premises for the duration, and all three women knew they had planned something for a guys' night out. What had been planned was still up for debate, as not a one was sharing.

Buffy had wondered briefly if the guys on Angel's crew should be notified, since she had invited Cordy and Fred, but had quickly discarded the notion. If Spike or Wesley wanted to invite Gunn and Angel to their party, that was their business, not hers.

She glanced over at her sister and Connor, who were laughing quietly over something. Connor had gotten his acceptance letter to UCLA the day before, and they were both excited about being able to attend school together.

Buffy could just make out Nika warning Wesley away from anything too strenuous because of his shoulder. She was riding him pretty hard about his physical therapy, and was not keen on the idea of him reinjuring himself.

Spike's kiss brought her back to the moment. "I'll definitely be over tonight, luv," he promised. "Just don't know when I'll get in. Might be later than you like."

"Then you can let youself in," she said in reply.

Spike frowned. "Don't like you leaving the door unlocked for me, Buffy. I can—"

"Let yourself in," Buffy repeated, holding up a key on a ring, smiling at the flabbergasted look on his face. "I thought it was about time you had a key to my place."

"You sure you have to stay here?" Spike asked. "Because I can think of a number of ways to say thanks right now."

She grinned in response. "Then you'll have a very good reason not to stay out too late, won't you?"

His thoughtful smile had Buffy reconsidering the baby shower herself, but then Wesley and Connor were standing in the doorway looking at her lover impatiently. "Let's go, Spike." Connor was raring to go, and again Buffy wondered what the guys had planned. Even Wesley seemed like he was in a hurry to get away.

"Later, Buffy," he said with a quick peck on the lips, and then they were gone. Fred and Cordelia showed up just a few minutes later, and the party soon got underway.

They were all sitting around eating the hors d'oeuvres that Nika had made when Cordy asked, "So you know for sure that it's a girl, right?"

"Pretty much," Buffy said. "The doctor said that there was always the possibility of making a mistake, but it seems pretty clear."

"Have you thought of any names yet?" Fred asked, licking her fingers delicately. "I mean, if you've given any thought to it."

Buffy smiled ruefully. "Lots of thoughts, no decisions. I do think I want her middle name to be Joyce, after my mom, though. Other than that, I don't have a clue."

Nika gave her a thoughtful look. "Have you asked Spike what he thinks?"

"Not yet," Buffy said. There was a faraway look in her eyes that the other women knew well. "We just haven't gotten around to talking about it yet."

Dawn laughed. "That reminds me. Presents!"

"Spike reminds you of presents?"

Dawn shrugged off Buffy's question as though it didn't matter. "Well, this might be mostly a baby shower, but it's also a 'hooray that you and Spike finally worked things out' party too."

Buffy flushed slightly. "Have we been driving you guys crazy?"

"What, with all the drama?" Dawn teased. "Of course not. It's not like the drama's a surprise with either one of you guys."

Buffy looked like she was going to make some reply, but the other women present started pulling out brightly wrapped packages. "Well, this is from both Angel and me," Cordelia said, handing the Slayer a large box. "Also, he said to let you know that you can have the bassinet and all of that if you want. We still have Connor's baby stuff in storage, and neither one of us is likely to need it any time soon."

She nodded at her old rival (and friend) gratefully. "Thanks, Cordy. I really appreciate that."

"Oh, and Angel also said to tell you that he thought he might take you up on that offer you made him. He said you would know what he was talking about." Cordelia sounded puzzled, but Buffy laughed, knowing that Angel had just had Cordelia agree to a double date with Spike. She had a feeling that it could be either disastrous or wonderful.

"We'll see," Buffy said, without explanation. She pulled off the bow and the paper, finding about a half-dozen little outfits in various shades of pink and purple inside. "Oh, this is great!" she exclamined. "Thanks, Cordy. These are gorgeous."

Cordelia shrugged. "Well, duh. This is me you're talking to, and Angel actually has great taste in clothing."

Buffy smiled. "Then I'm glad you both went shopping. I appreciate it."

Next, Buffy opened Fred and Gunn's gift, which was a box full of various baby necessities: diapers, nipples and bottles, bibs, wipes. "This is really great," Buffy said sincerely. "I know all of it will come in handy."

She was actually doing fairly well financially. The house had sold at a good profit, which left her with a comfortable margin. Plus, the Council's pension was almost enough to cover the bare essentials, and her father had sent a nice hefty check. While she wasn't sure what to think of that, Buffy wasn't about to send it back. As Dawn had pointed out, he did owe her. He owed both his children for abandoning them. So, if he wanted to send her money to buy her off, Buffy was going to let him.

Of course, none of that meant she was at all averse to accepting any and all offers of assistance. Babies were expensive.

Dawn handed her an envelope. "Okay, so this is my present, and Connor promised he'd help too, but he doesn't have as much experience as I do. Actually, he doesn't have any experience."

Frowning at her sister in confusion, she opened the envelope, finding a stack of "coupons," each neatly lettered saying, "Good for one evening out sans kid. Free babysitting included." Buffy laughed. "Thank you, Dawnie. This is great."

"Well, as long as you show the proper appreciation, I think I could be persuaded to babysit pretty much whenever," Dawn replied. "Besides, you and Spike are going to need some time to yourselves."

"My gift," Nika said, handing her another envelope. "Actually, it's from both Wesley and me."

Buffy opened the envelope and stared at its contents. "I don't—I can't accept this."

"Of course you can," Nika replied. "As you can see, it's for anytime within the next year. Both of us have experience taking care of babies, and it will be our pleasure."

Buffy stared at the slips. Four nights had been paid for at a bed and breakfast up in the Sierra Mountains, good for a getaway just for the Slayer and her vampire boyfriend. Nika smiled at her. "Dawn and I were talking, and we know that you and Spike still need time to get to know each other, but that becomes difficult when there's a baby involved. We each wanted to do something for you that would help in that area."

"This—this is great, really," Buffy said quietly. "I can't tell you the last time I had a real vacation."

"Which is why Wesley and I decided it was exactly what you needed," Nika replied. "And we'll handle the babysitting for the duration."

Whateve else might have been said was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. Nika got up to answer it, and Willow appeared after a few moments. "Sorry I'm late!" she apologized. "Traffic was crazy."

Willow's gift was in two parts. The first included a number of very cute baby clothes, though she stayed away from the traditional pink and purple and instead stuck to turquoise and yellow. The second part were garments that were more typically found at a bridal shower, not a baby shower. "Actually, that's probably more for Spike than for you," Willow said as the other women giggled and Buffy blushed. "On the other hand, from what you've said in the past, he'll make it worthwhile for you."

Buffy held the garments up to her—by now—very pregnant belly. "It's going to be a while before I can wear these," she said ruefully.

Willow grinned. "Keep unwrapping."

Giving her old friend a strange look, she did so, coming across another set of sexy lingerie. This time, however, they were made specifically for pregnant women. Willow laughed as she watched the wheels in Buffy's head turn. "I'd say take advantage of your hormones while you can, Buf."

Buffy laughed again. "Well, I'll appreciate all of it, and I know Spike will too. You are staying at my place tonight, aren't you? I mean, I didn't even know you were coming."

"It was supposed to be a surprise," Cordelia explained, a smug note in her voice. "And if you're going to be busy with Spike, maybe Willow should stay at the hotel."

Buffy looked thoughtful. "I don't even know what the guys are up to. Spike said he might be back in kind of late."

Willow shrugged. "Either way, Buffy. I really don't mind."

"Then you can stay at my place," Buffy replied decisively. "Who knows what the guys are going to be doing?"

~~~~~

The guys were busy enjoying themselves at one of Wesley's favorite establishments. All three of them were doing their best to out-throw each other in a game of darts as they drank pints of beer with hot wings for chasers. In some ways, the three of them were enjoying the freedom that came pre-kids and pre-marriage. While the baby wasn't technically Spike's, he was going to be intimately involved, which certainly promised to change things.

Connor and Wesley both were also becoming more settled with their respective significant others, and Connor was going to be starting at the university in a few short months. Change was inevitable, of course, and these particular changes were exciting ones for all involved, but there was a certain nostalgia that surrounded the three of them.

"Been a while since we've been able to do this," Spike commented to Wesley as they watched Connor have his turn. The boy was good, placing all but one in the high scoring areas.

"I suppose it has been," Wesley agreed. "Circumstances may change, but this won't."

Spike nodded, knowing what the other man was talking about. The bonds between them went deeper than blood; there was nothing that could change that. "No, that's for certain."

Wesley grabbed the darts, taking his turn. "Spike?" Connor asked.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for inviting me."

"You're family, lad," Spike replied. "Much as I hate to admit it, Angel an' me are related."

Connor nodded, watching as Wesley hit the bull's eye twice and sent the third dart just to the right of the red circle. "You know, I never used to think family was all that important. It was just me and my father—Holtz, you know?—for a long time. It's different here."

Spike nodded, knowing what he was saying. It had been just he and Dru for a century, and then he and Buffy had been caught up in their own little world. It helped to have others that you could rely on, people that would stick with you, even through the worst of times.

He could honestly say that even if the worst were to happen and he lost Buffy, he would have good reasons to go on with his unlife. It would hurt, but Buffy wasn't his entire world any longer. It was that truth which had really freed him to take a chance on the Slayer again, knowing that he would survive her leaving.

"'s important," Spike agreed. "You can't make one person your world, Connor, no matter how much you might want to. I learned that the hard way." The vampire gave Wesley a knowing look and then took the darts that were offered to him. With a practiced flick of his wrist, Spike sent all three darts flying, each landing with a solid thunk in a high-scoring box. "What say we get out of here?"

"My place?" Wesley suggested. "I believe there might be a football game on."

~~~~~

Fred and Cordelia had left once all the gossip had been disseminated. Now that Buffy had finally come to accept that her relationship with Angel was over, she found his girlfriend much easier to put up with. She didn't think they would ever be fast friends—their personalities were just too strong—but they could be civil and enjoy each other's company in small doses.

Dawn was curled up on the couch next to Willow, talking quietly to the witch about something, and Buffy was watching as Nika put things away. As it was her party, she wasn't being allowed to help. "That really was a great gift," Buffy said again. "I never expected—"

Nika smiled. "I'm glad you liked it. I have a feeling that there will be quite a few people around to spoil your daughter, but sometimes the mother needs a little pampering as well."

"I'll take your word for it," Buffy replied, her hand over her rather noticeable stomach. "It's good to know that both of us can count on you guys. It's—different."

Coming over to sit across from her at the table, Nika's raised eyebrow asked the silent question. "It's like having—family, not just friends, you know? I've always been the oldest..." Buffy trailed off and chuckled. "Well, all I can remember is being the oldest, but I guess I was an only child too. Without my mom here, though, and Dad being no help at all, it felt like I was going to have to do this whole thing on my own."

"But you know that isn't true, don't you?" Nika asked gently. "I believe I speak for Wesley as well when I say that you are welcome to call on us whenever you need help. I do know a bit more about babies than just birthing them, and Wesley had experience with Connor."

"I know that," Buffy replied quickly. "Actually, that's what's so great. I don't feel like I'm alone in this. And with Spike..."

Nika could see the emotion in the other woman's eyes. "You feel as though you have finally found your place?" she suggested. "We all stand alone, Buffy. You know this. Yet we all need the comfort of others; I think you know this too. It's a great paradox."

Buffy nodded. "Yeah. When I first found out I was pregnant, and with Peter's reaction, all I could think about was the fact that I was alone. I wanted my mom so badly, but the first person who came into mind was Spike. I wanted him just as much."

"Remember that," Nika advised. "Remember the feeling of wanting him so badly your heart ached, because you will fight again. You'll say things to regret, as will he. If you remember why it was you wanted him in the first place though, it will be easier to forgive and to say you're sorry."

Buffy thought about the constant dull ache that had been her constant companion, how she had written it off as anything but missing the vampire. She remembered the sense of being torn in two, knowing that their relationship could end over a stupid fight and an impulsive action. It was going to be difficult, she knew. As she'd told him, no one could make her quite as miserable as Spike, say the things that stung quite as badly. Maybe the worst was over, but there was plenty of room for mistakes in the future; it would be exceptionally easy to fall into their old patterns.

Then she remembered the light in his eyes when she had asked him to go to Lamaze class with her, when she'd asked him to stay—forever. Things between them could be so good, and this time she would embrace all the possibilities.

~~~~~

"I'd better call Angel an' let him know his kid's here," Spike said quietly. Connor was stretched out on the couch, snoring lightly. The boy might have had a vampire's constitution, but too much beer had put him out like a light, and he was in no shape to be driving home.

Wesley raised an eyebrow. "Are you certain you don't want me to call?"

Spike shrugged. "No, we're good. Peaches knows 'm with the Slayer an' that I'm not completely evil anymore."

"He also knows you'll take care of his son," Wesley added.

Spike shifted uncomfortably. "He's a good kid, even if he is spendin' the night with the Niblet occasionally."

"How did you find that out?" Wesley asked, thinking the vampire had been snooping unnecessarily.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Called her dorm one mornin' an' Hell-Boy over there answered. Wasn't too hard to figure out. I told him I didn't want to know, but if she ever came to me cryin' over him, I wouldn't be responsible for the consequences."

Wesley chuckled. "I think that goes for both of us. I'm quite fond of Dawn myself."

"She grows on you," Spike agreed. "Always thought she had spunk."

"That she does." Wesley watched as Spike dialed Angel's number, apparently getting the vampire right away.

"It's me, Peaches," Spike said, grinning at Wesley as the older vampire said something derogatory. "Oh, stuff it. Just thought I'd let you know Connor's sleepin' on Wesley's couch tonight, safe an' sound." Spike shrugged, even though Angel couldn't see it and replied, "If you like."

Wesley took the phone Spike offered. "Angel?"

Angel sounded concerned on the other end. "Is Connor okay?"

"He's fine," Wesley quickly reassured him. "We were just watching some TV, and he had a couple of beers.  Nothing to be concerned about."

"You got my son drunk?"

Wesley didn't roll his eyes, even though he thought about it. "No, Angel. Connor had approximately four beers and dropped off on my couch. He's not drunk, but it's probably not safe for him to drive. We thought we'd let you know so you didn't worry."

"Oh." Wesley heard him sigh.  "Sorry, Wes.  I just—"

"Connor is a friend, Angel," Wesley said quietly. He didn't add that he took care of his friends, as he wasn't certain that the vampire would agree with that assessment.

"I know you'll take care of him," Angel quickly replied. "It's just—hard to let go sometimes. Look, come by the hotel sometime, will you? It'd be nice to catch up."

Wesley wasn't so sure how nice it would be, but he didn't care to argue. "Sure, Angel. Soon." He hung up the phone and looked over at Spike, an idea taking shape. "You want to go over to Angel's with me?"

Spike met the other man's eyes, and then laughed. "So I can needle him?"

"Actually, I'd rather like to hear the story of why you call him Peaches."

Spike's broad grin was all the answer Wesley needed. He and Angel might have decided to be friends, but that didn't mean he couldn't get some of his own back.

~~~~~

Spike let himself into Buffy's townhome as silently as possible. He immediately sensed the presence of another heartbeat, and quickly recognized it as Red's by the scent. Hesitating briefly by the stairs, Spike momentarily thought about going back to his place. He wasn't sure he wanted to face the witch's knowing looks in the morning. On the other hand, now that Buffy was actually enjoying his presence, Spike hated to sleep alone. It was always nicer to wake up with the Slayer wrapped tightly around him.

Letting himself into her bedroom, he quickly undressed, putting the bag with his own baby shower present down by the door. Well, it wasn't actually a gift for a baby. It was more for Buffy. He just hoped she understood it.

Spike was just about ready to slip under the covers when the bedside lamp was flipped on, and Buffy sat up to watch him. "Hey there."

"Hey, luv," he replied, feeling strangely awkward. Spike had thought she was asleep, and suddenly being confronted by an alert Buffy startled him. "Thought you were sleepin'."

"I was dozing," she replied. "But I was actually kinda waiting for you." Buffy's sharp eyes lit on the bag. "Whatcha got?"

Spike smiled slightly. "Well, it was your present. Thought I was goin' to wait till tomorrow to give it to you."

Buffy was now very awake. "We don't have to wait."

Feeling slightly sheepish, Spike grabbed the bag and went over to the bed, handing it over and sliding under the covers. He watched intently as Buffy snapped the string holding it shut and then pulled out his old duster. "This is supposed to be one of those gifts that's really heavy with the symbolism, huh?"

"Somethin' like that," Spike said.

"You gave the coat to Dawn, though."

"I loaned it to her," he corrected gently. "When I left, I gave it to her with the understandin' that I'd be back for it. Was like a promise she could touch, yeah?"

Buffy worked the leather with her fingers. "So she gave it back."

"I asked for it," Spike admitted. "Didn't want to take it when she offered it to me back a few months ago. It smelled like you, like your house. I couldn't—" He stopped. "I don't know if you knew it, but I took that coat off the second Slayer I killed."

Buffy hadn't quite realized, and she wondered what it said about her that it didn't bother her nearly as much as it probably should have. "I didn't."

"'m not sorry for my past, luv," Spike said softly. "There are some things you need a soul for, I guess, an' maybe that's one of them. Both the Slayers I faced, I faced 'em fairly, an' it could have gone either way, easy. They both left me somethin'—the scar, the coat."

Buffy watched as he touched the scar over his eyebrow and then the leather almost reverently. "I left the coat with Dawn so she knew I was comin' for it, that I wouldn't forget her. 'm givin' it to you now for the same reason—'cept I won't be goin' anywhere. It's—I guess it's tellin' you I won't leave, but that there's a part of myself 'm givin' up—for you, and for other reasons that are for me. It's—"

"A symbol," Buffy said quietly, petting the supple fabric. It was old and worn and scarred, and even though it had been in her sister's possession for years now, Buffy fancied she could still smell Spike's unique scent. Even though he hadn't said it, the Slayer also knew that Spike was saying that he'd outgrown the old image he'd projected. He had changed.

So had she.

"I wish I had something to give you that was just as meaningful," Buffy admitted. "I don't know if you'll even want the only thing I have to offer. Which, ironically enough, is my firstborn. I feel selfish for it, though, because I know it'll be more work than anything else. I'm asking too much of you, but—"

Spike's hand on her belly stopped her words mid-flow. "Luv, it's another Summers girl. What else could I do but love her? Even if you hadn't asked, it still would have been true."

Buffy let out a shaky laugh. "You're always doing that," she protested. "You say the sweetest things, and then I don't have a clue as to how to reply."

"Just—tell me I'm yours, Buffy, an' I'll believe it," Spike said. "Figure it's poetic justice that I'd end up belongin' to a Slayer."

"No, Spike," Buffy replied. "I won't say you're mine." At the look on his face, she hastened on. "But I'll say that I'm yours."

It was a surrender of the deepest sort, and it meant more to Spike than all the flowery speeches in the world. Her words, set so closely on the heels of her near-offer of blood, were close to the equivalent of a marriage proposal. They were a negative echo of that alley where she'd told him she would never be "his girl."

Where once Buffy would have denied all his claims, now she eagerly accepted them.

"Oh." Spike stared at her, his heart in his eyes. "That's—"

He was silenced by Buffy's lips, by her hands, telling him what she had no words for. They were learning a different dance, she seemed to be telling him. They were learning a new way of being, a new way of knowing each other. With the joining of their bodies, they celebrated a joining of their futures.

And the future seemed bright indeed.
 
 

By enigmaticblue  <enigmaticblue@yahoo.com>

Rated: PG-13

Summary: Spike leaves after "Dead Things," wanting nothing more than to get Buffy out of his head. Wesley's still an independent contractor after the events of "Loyalty." And the Slayer's still living in the land of denial.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters featured below except for Nika. She's all mine. And I'm not making any money off of her either, so please don't sue.
 

Epilogue
 

"You're almost there, Buffy," Nika said, her tone encouraging. "I can see the head."

Spike winced as the Slayer's hand tightened around his again as another contraction hit. She had been remarkably calm throughout the entire ordeal, her only reaction to the pain to squeeze his hand harder.

It was a very good thing he was a vampire. Otherwise, she would have ground his bones to dust.

"Don't push," Nika commanded. "Just another minute." Spike watched Nika's movements with concern. So far, everything had gone according to plan, but he was half-afraid a complication would come up and snatch away everything he'd gained over the last few months. "Spike, I need you."

Spike gently extricated his fingers from the Slayer's grip and moved to the foot of the birthing table. He watched in awe as he realized that what he was seeing was the crown of a head. Nika's hands were sure and steady as she guided the small body out into the world, and they were soon rewarded by the cry of a newborn.

Following the directions that had been drilled into him in the classes, Spike took the blanket from the nurse who was standing close by. Nika placed the infant into his hands, and Spike knew he was holding life. He looked over at Buffy, who was staring at the image he made, wide-eyed in spite of her exhaustion. "She's perfect."

Buffy gave a tearful little laugh in response, and Spike held the wriggling body as Nika tied off the umbilical cord. "You want to do the honors, Daddy?" Nika asked, holding up the clippers.

"I'm not—" Spike protested feebly, staring at the tiny girl.

"You are," Buffy insisted. "You and no one else."

Spike nodded, seeming to come to the same conclusion for the first time. He cut the umbilical cord, then—with a brief, longing glance at Buffy—followed the nurse as she whisked the girl out of the way to clean her up. Hovering on the edges, he watched anxiously as Apgar scores were taken, blood was taken, injections given.

Continually glancing back over at Buffy, Spike kept a close eye on the infant. His Slayer was in Nika's capable hands; he knew nothing about the nurses that had shown up to help with the delivery. This might be one of the premier birthing centers in the world, but he was in charge of taking care of his girls.

Finally, it seemed they were done with the newest Summers, and she was placed securely into Buffy's arms. Nika smiled at the picture they made; Buffy might have been any other new mother, staring down at her child with adoration. Spike might have been any other new father, looking at both of them with an awe bordering on worship. "I'll leave you all to get acquainted," she said softly. "Spike—" she waited until he'd met her eyes. "We'll be out in the hall. Come get us when you're ready."

~~~~~

Wesley was talking with Nika in a low voice outside the birthing room. Connor and Dawn had both gone off to get something to eat after they'd heard Buffy and the baby were both okay. "She did great," his fiancée told him. "You're never sure if they're going to scream threats at the man, telling him he's never getting sex, or just deal with the pain. And Spike was wonderful. You'd never know he hadn't done this before. I've never seen him more calm and in control."

"Well, to be fair, Buffy could hardly threaten Spike," Wesley pointed out. "It wasn't his fault, after all."

"That doesn't always matter," Nika replied with a smile. There was a light in her eyes that Wesley recognized.

"Soon," he promised softly. "Only a few months and we'll be married. It isn't so far away."

"No," Nika agreed. "And you live up to your promises."

"I try." Wesley looked up as Spike slipped out the door, a pink bundle in his arms.

He gave them both a weary smile. "Buffy's sleepin'," he said in explanation. "Just thought you lot would want a peek."

Wesley stood quickly, watching as Nika accepted the now-sleeping infant. "She's beautiful, Spike. Does she have a name yet?"

"Yeah," Spike replied. "Wesley, Nika, meet your goddaughter, Margaret Joyce Summers. 's kind of a big name for a such a little bit, but her mum says we can shorten it up some when her personality starts showin' through."

"It's a beautiful name," Nika said, watching as Wesley reached out a tentative finger to stroke a ruddy cheek.

Wesley nodded. "I assume her middle name is for Buffy's mother."

"Yeah. Buffy said the first name was for me." Both Wesley and Nika got the impression that if the vampire could have blushed, he would have. "Margaret was a family name, an' we both like some of the ways you could shorten it."

"It's perfect," Wesley replied sincerely, looking startled, then reverent, as Nika handed Margaret Joyce over to him.

He only had her for a moment before Dawn appeared, asking for a moment with her niece, and then Connor awkwardly held her, Spike watching him like a hawk. After everyone had their turn, Spike took Margaret back. "I should stay with Buffy," he said quietly. "See you all later?"

"Much later," Dawn agreed. "I'm beat." She gave Spike a kiss on the cheek, and then left, Connor's arm draped loosely over her shoulders.

"We should be going as well," Nika said softly. She stopped for another moment to look down at her new goddaughter. "We'll see you later today."

"Tomorrow," Wesley corrected with a smile, looking at his watch. "I think we'll be sleeping for more than a couple hours."

Spike nodded, watching them leave, feeling a sense of relief knowing that he and Buffy weren't in this alone. He felt as though he was out of his depth—he was drowning all over again. He looked down at the girl, who was staring at him with wide eyes that were a bright shade of blue. Spike knew that babies' eyes often started out blue and then changed later, but he was thankful they weren't as dark as he remembered Peter's being.

"Hello, li'l one," he murmured. "Guess I'm the one that's goin' to be lookin' after you for a while. Your mum will be there too, of course, but you're a Summers, so that means you're my girl, till the end of the world."

Spike went back into the room to find Buffy waking up. "Spike? Is—"

"Right here, luv," he said quickly, passing the baby back to Buffy. "Just introducin' her to the rest of the family."

Buffy smiled. "I'm glad it's you here, Spike. I wouldn't want anyone else."

"That right?" Spike ran a fond hand down Buffy's bright hair. "Wouldn't want to be anywhere else, so I guess it works out for the both of us, then."

He settled himself on the bed next to her, watching as she managed to start little Margaret breast-feeding. Nika had gone over the basics with her several times, and Buffy seemed to take to it like a pro. "When are you going to move in with us?"

Spike hesitated. "'m already there all the time, Buffy."

She looked up at him, her face serene. "But when are you going to realize I want you there permanently?"

"I already know," he assured her. "'s just... After the wedding? Nika and Wesley'll want their space. Figure that'll give all of us enough time."

Buffy nodded, a shadow crossing her face as she remembered that Spike had very good reasons for wanting to keep his own little hideaway, just in case. "Whatever time you need."

Sensing her mood, Spike laid a hand over hers where it was supporting Margaret. "I know where I belong, Buffy." His fingers tightened over hers in a tender assurance. "I'm not goin' anywhere."

Till the end of the world.