Cruel to Be Kind

Based on the movie ’10 Things I Hate About You’. It is a widely known fact that the Summers sisters are not allowed to date until they are 18. But due to a new rule, the youngest is allowed to date as long as her older sister does. Easier said than done. In order to date Dawn Summers, Conner James pays William ‘Spike’ Develin to date Dawn’s older sister Buffy. But Dawn’s interest lies in senior Liam ‘Angel’ O’Conner, who is only intending on sleeping with Dawn on Prom night to win a bet with friends. As Spike soon finds out, getting to Buffy is no easy task.

Prologue

Sunnydale, California. Affectionately called Sunnyhell by its residents. Just your below average, one Starbucks town located two hours from Los Angeles. The end of Spring Break signaled the beginning of school. Wonderful to some, hell to others.

Four teenage girls in a shiny red convertible pull up to the stop light. All cheerfully singing to the Barenaked Ladies, they looked forward to going back to school. Just as they were singing the chorus, loud, angry rock music drowned out the cheery beat.

Buffy Summers pulled up to the stop light next to the convertible in her old beat up car. She looked at the girls and smirked, happily drowning out their too cheery music and effectively destroying their good moods. The light changed to green, and both cars sped off.

Buffy pulled into the parking lot of Sunnydale High School with a sense of dread.

‘Only a few more months, only a few more months.’, she repeated to herself over and over.

She got out of the car and headed towards the entrance. Just as a girl taped a Prom poster to the wall, Buffy walked over, looking at the paper in disgust, then promptly tore it off. Then she headed to her first class.

Conner James walked down the hall towards the Principal’s office. Son of a Navy officer, this was the third town in a year and his second school.

‘Maybe this one will be different.’ he thought, his mind going back to the past few months at the last school.

He was branded a loser, constantly tormented by the jocks. His loser status was so low, he had no friends at all.

He entered the office, Principal Hallie Addams. He knocked on the door.

“I’ll be right with you,” she told him never looking up from her computer screen. She was busily typing the new chapter of her romance novel, which she was sure would get published this time. She closed the laptop and picked up Conner’s folder.

“So, Conner, is it? Here you go.” She handed him his schedule.

“Nine schools in ten years. My, my. Army brat?”

“Um yeah. My dad is a…”

“That’s enough. I’m sure you won’t find Sunnydale any different than your old schools. Same old brats with shit for brains everywhere!” She laughed.

Conner looked at her in shock.

“What? Am I in the right office?”

“Not anymore. Now go. I’ve got deviants to see and a novel to finish. Now go. Go!”

Conner stood up so fast he tipped the chair. He picked the chair up and turned to leave.

“Uh right. Thanks.”

As he turned to go out the door, he ran into a boy with bleached hair and a leather coat. Conner immediately tensed up, expecting a fist in his face, and when nothing happened, he left quickly.

William Develin, known as Spike, looked at the boy curiously and went into the office.

“William Develin. I see that you’re going to make these visits a weekly ritual.”

Spike looked at Ms. Addams and gave her one of his trademark smirks.

“Only so we can spend these moments together. Should I hit the lights?”

“Ooh, very clever, bleach boy.”

She looked at the file in her hand.

“It says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria.”

Spike rolled his eyes.

“I was joking with the lunch lady. It was a bratwurst.”

Ms. Addams stood up and looked at Spike.

“Bratwurst? Is that what they call it these days?”

She looked at his crotch and smiled.

“Aren’t we the optimist! Next time, keep it in your pouch. Ok!”

Spike looked at the woman wide-eyed.

“Go!”

Spike slowly turned and left, still in shock that the Principal just referred to his goods as a bratwurst.

‘Bloody bitch.’ he thought as he headed to his next class.

Back at the computer, Ms. Addams quickly revised her last sentence, replacing ‘member’ with ‘bratwurst’.

She smiled at the thought and continued typing.

Conner walked out of the Ms. Addams’ office and was greeted by a boy wearing khakis and a necktie.

‘Oh no. He’s one of those geeks with the slides.’, Conner thought.

The boy looked at Conner and smiled.

“Hi, I’m Jesse Crawford. I’m supposed to show you around.”

Conner smiled and shook his hand.

“Thank God. I thought they were going to send one of those audiovisual nerds.”

Jesse laughed nervously.

“I-I do, I know what you mean.”

Jesse grabbed Conner’s arm and began to lead him away as a boy with a cart of slides came up beside them.

“Hey, Jesse. Where should I put the slides?”

Jesse looked at the boy and laughed.

“Slides?”

He laughed nervously again and quickly led Conner down the busy hall.

“So, Conner. Here’s the breakdown. Over there we’ve got your basic beautiful people. Now listen, unless they talk to you first, don’t bother them.”

Conner looked at Jesse.

“Wait, is that your rule or theirs?”

“Just watch.”

As they walked down the hall, they passed Angel O’Connor and his group of friends, Riley, Parker, and Gunn.

Jesse looked straight ahead as they passed, “Hey there!”

Angel glared at Jesse, “Eat me!”

Jesse looked over at Conner, “You see that?”

They continued down the hall until they exited the building onto the quad. Jesse pointed to a group of People with coffee cups.

“They are the Coffee Kids. Very edgy. Don’t make any sudden movements around them.”

They walked a little further until they got to a group with dreadlocks and tie-dye shirts.

“These delusionals are big Marley fans, semipolitical, but mostly…”

“Just smoke a lot of weed?”, Conner finished for him.

“Yeah. These guys,” he pointed to a group of guys with cowboy hats trying to lasso a trash can.

“Wait, wait, wait. Let me guess. Cowboys?” Conner chuckled.

“Yeah, but the closest they have ever come to a cow is a hamburger at McDonald’s!” Jesse laughed, but stopped when he realized Conner was looking at him strangely. They passed by a group at a table dressed in suits busily typing on laptops.

“Anyway, these are your future MBA’s, all ivy-league accepted.”

They continued walking, and Jesse spoke again.

“Now over there…”

Conner stopped. “Oh my God.”

Dawn Summers walked out of the building chatting with her two best friends, Harmony Kendall and Cordelia Chase. Just as they walked by Conner began to follow.

“What group is she in?”, he asked Jesse.

Jesse looked at Conner shaking his head.

“The ‘don’t-even-think-about-it’ group. Dawn Summers, a sophomore…”

Conner kept staring at Dawn, “I burn, I pine, I perish.”

Jesse laughed. “Of course you do. You know, she is beautiful and deep, for sure.”

They continued following the girls, listening to their conversation.

Dawn looked at Cordelia.

“Yeah, but see, there is a difference between like and love. Because, I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack.”

Harmony looked at Dawn.

“But I love my Skechers.”

Dawn and Cordelia looked at each other and sighed.

“That’s because you don’t have a Prada backpack.”, Dawn told her.

“Ohhh.” Harmony smiled thoughtfully.

The girls walked away, leaving Conner and Jesse staring after them. Jesse noticed Conner still staring intently at Dawn.

“Listen, forget her. She has an incredibly uptight father and it’s a widely known fact that the Summers sisters aren’t allowed to date.”

Conner was too busy staring at Dawn to listen to what Jesse was saying.

“Yeah, uh huh, whatever.”

The bell rang and the students begin to walk back to the building to go to class. As Conner was walking, he was busy thinking of ways to ask Dawn out.

Chapter 1 (Meet the Characters)

The bell rang signaling lunch, and everyone headed to the cafeteria. Buffy plopped her tray down on the table where her best friends were sitting. They were considered the “geeky freaks” of the school, mostly because they were not geeky enough to be considered losers, and everyone hated them because they had very strong opinions about everything, and for that they were called freaks.

Buffy looked like your average California girl: long blonde hair, green eyes, tanned and toned body. But everyone knew that she was not. She was quick-witted, hot tempered and not someone you would want to mess with.

Buffy looked at her friends and smiled. They began to talk about the day, classes, and the night’s plans.

Willow Rosenberg is a very shy girl with flame-red hair and a friendly expression. She was very smart, and had been accepted at many top colleges. She and Buffy formed the core of the group, for they were best friends since they were in daycare.

Tara McClay had been the next addition to the group. She is also very quiet and smart, with blue eyes and light brown hair. She is currently dating one of her best friends, Amy Madison, who is also a member of the group.

Amy joined the group when she began to date Tara. Black hair and brown eyes, she likes to study the occult and works part-time at a bookstore where the girls hang out. She also has a weird obsession with cheese.

Fred Burkle joined the group on her first day of school her sophomore year. She was a transfer from some foreign country where she had been living with a foster family. She is a very shy girl with brown hair and glasses, who likes to spend most of her time reading.

And then there is Anya Jenkins. She joined the group last year. She was a transfer from Los Angeles.

She doesn’t know her natural hair color due to the fact that she changes it all the time. She is also very blunt.

The girls continued to eat their lunch, while a few tables over Spike sat down with a loud thump.

Spike sat down at the table with his friends. Spike was known as the school bad boy: bleached hair, black clothes, English accent, and a leather duster which he wore every second of the day. He began school at Sunnydale a year ago. Most students didn’t know anything about him except rumors. He skipped most of his classes and was known to pick a lot of fights. He is also a member of the band, Dingoes Ate My Baby, in which he sings and sometimes plays guitar.

Spike greeted his friends, the only people who had bothered to talk to him his first day of school, and also members of the Dingoes. He noticed the boy from Ms. Addams’ office. He introduced himself and everyone began to talk about their upcoming gig at the Bronze.

Xander Harris is the quirkiest of the group. He often makes jokes that only he and Jesse laugh at. He plays guitar for the Dingoes. Daniel Osbourne, known as Oz, also plays guitar for the Dingoes. He is very stoic, and his hair has been every color of the rainbow at least once.

The guys looked up as they heard a loud crash.

The freshman fell to the ground as he was tripped. He heard laughing as he looked up at Angel and his friends. He quickly gathered his things and ran, already embarrassed and not looking forward to a beating.

Angel O’Connor is the most popular guy in school. The guys want to be as popular as he is and the girls wish they could get with him. He spends most of his time tormenting the less fortunate. Laughing, he turned to go to his table and sat down.

Riley Finn, a farm boy from Iowa, is only popular because he happens to be on the football team with Angel.

His father is in the military, so he often talks in military code. Parker Abrams is also on the football team. His hobby is getting girls to sleep with him and then leaving them the next morning, never speaking to them again.

And then there is Charles Gunn, known as Gunn. Also on the football team, he enjoys taking the geeks to the bathroom and beating them senseless.

Angel sat down at the “popular” table just as three girls entered the room.

Dawn, Harmony, and Cordelia walked into the room. They spotted Angel at the popular table and went to sit down at the table next to it. All sophomores, the girls were among the most popular girls in school.

Dawn is Buffy’s sister, although neither one admits it. She’s had her eye on Angel since she saw him her freshman year. Cordelia, a very tactless girl with jet black hair, is a walking fashion magazine. She only wears the best names in fashion and dates the most popular guys. She and Dawn have been best friends since they were little. Harmony is the epitome of a valley girl. Blonde hair and tanned body, she lacks common sense and has the lowest gpa in the sophomore class.

Lunch continued on, with everyone chatting. The bell rang signaling the end of lunch, and the students reluctantly get up, and head for their next class.

Chapter 2

Buffy headed towards her next class, English, with Mr. Rupert Giles. Giles was her favorite teacher, and the only one she could tolerate. A middle-aged Englishman, Giles was very intelligent and sparked many opinions from Buffy, causing them to constantly debate.

Buffy walked into the room and sat down. The other students filed in and Giles began class.

“Okay then. What did everyone think of The Sun Also Rises?”

A girl sitting in the back of the room raised her hand.

“I loved it. He’s so romantic.”

Buffy turned to the girl and looked at her with disgust.

“Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.”

The students groaned and Giles looked at her and sighed. Angel spoke up from the back of the room.

“As apposed to a bitter, self-righteous hag who has no friends?”

The class laughed and Angel slapped hands with Gunn. Giles looked at Angel sternly.

“Quiet down now!”

Giles began to speak again when Buffy interrupted.

“I guess in this society being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time.”

The class snickered while Angel glared at Buffy.

Buffy looked back at Giles.

“What about Sylvia Plath, or Charlotte Bronte, or Simone de Beauvoir?”

The door opened and everyone turned to look as Spike ran into the room out of breath.

“What’d I miss?”

Buffy looked at Spike and rolled her eyes.

“The oppressive patriarchic values that dictate our education.”

Spike nodded.

“Good.”

He turned and left the room and Giles yelled after him.

“Hey! Come back!!”

Finally having a good comeback at Buffy, Angel called out to Giles.

“Mr. Giles. I there any way we can make Buffy take her Midol before she comes to class?”

After this latest disruption, Giles was very angry. He turned to Angel and yelled.

“Someday you are going to get bitch slapped and I am not going to do a thing to stop it!”

Then he turned to Buffy.

“And Buffy, I want to thank you for your point of view.”

Buffy nodded and smiled.

“But the next time you storm the PTA crusading for better lunch meat or whatever, I will not be there to save you from suspension!”

Buffy’s smile faded.

“Anything else?” she asked him mockingly.

“Yes. Go to the office!”

“What? Mr. Giles…”

“Go!”

The students chuckled as Buffy got up and gathered her things. When she walked by Angel, she smacked him on the head.

In the office, Ms. Addams was busy working on her novel.

“Undulating with desire, Adrienne removed her red…”

She stops and sighs. She turns to her computer and retypes the rest of the sentence.

“Crimson cape…at the sight of Reginald’s stiff and…”

She pauses again and calls to her secretary.

“Judith! What’s another word for ‘engorged’?”

“I’ll look it up.”

“Okay.”

Ms. Addams thought a moment.

“Swollen. Turgid.”

Buffy walks in and says, “Tumescent?”

Ms. Addams looks up at Buffy.

“Perfect.”

She types her new sentence and turns to Buffy.

“So, I hear you were terrorizing Mr. Giles’ class again.”

“Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action.”

“The way you expressed your opinion to Scott Hope? By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, in case you were interested.”

Buffy laughed.

“I still maintain he kicked himself in the balls.”

“The point is Buffy…People perceive you as somewhat…”

“Tempestuous?”

“’Heinous bitch’ is the term used most often.”

Buffy laughs and rolls her eyes. Ms. Addams looked at her sternly.

“You might want to work on that. Thank you.”

Buffy gets up to leave.

“As always, thank you for your excellent guidance.”

As she left the room she said, “I’ll let you get back to Reginald’s quivering member.”

Ms. Addams looks up from her laptop.

“Quivering member, I like that.”

Outside, everyone was congregating on the quad, getting ready to leave. Angel was standing around talking to Gunn. Gunn looked up.

“Virgin alert. Your favorite.”

Angel looked over and saw Dawn walking with Cordelia. Dawn walks by and smiles flirtatiously at Angel.

“Ooh. Looking good ladies.”

Gunn laughs.

“Oh, she’s out of reach, even for you.”

“No one’s out of reach for me.”

“You want to put money on that?”

Angel smiles.

“Money I’ve got. This I’m gonna do for fun.”

Across the quad, Jesse and Conner were watching Dawn and Angel.

“Who’s that guy?”

“That’s Angel O’Connor. He’s a jerk off and a model.”

Conner laughs.

“A model?”

“A model. Mostly regional stuff, but he’s rumored to have a big tube sock ad coming out.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

They both start laughing.

“Man, look at her. Is she always so-“

“Vapid?”

“How can you say that? She’s totally-“

“Conceited.”

“What are you talking about? There’s more to her than you think. Look at the way she smiles and- and look at her eyes, man. She’s totally pure. You’re missing what’s there.”

“No, no, Conner. What’s there is a snotty little princess wearing a strategically planned sundress to make guys like us realizes that we want her, and guys like Angel realize they want to. She, my friend, is what we will spend the rest of our lives not having. Put her in your spank bank and move on. Move on.”

“No, no! You’re wrong about her. I mean, not about the spanking part, but the rest, you’re wrong.”

“All right- I’m wrong? You wanna take a shot? Be my guest. She’s actually looking for a French tutor.”

“Are you serious? That’s perfect!”

“Do you speak French?”

“Well, no, but I will.”

Buffy and Willow said goodbye to the girls and began walking to Buffy’s car. Angel drove by them in his red convertible and stopped.

“Hey Buffy! Your Rambo look is out. Didn’t you read last month’s Cosmo?”

Buffy glared at him.

“Run along!”

They walked away and Angel sped off.

Dawn was walking in the parking lot with Cordelia.

“I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?”

Dawn looked at Cordelia thoughtfully.

“I think you can in Europe.”

Angel pulled up next to them.

“Hey ladies. Would you sweet young things like a ride?”

Dawn and Cordelia looked at each other and squealed. They climbed into Angel’s car and sat down in the back.

“Hey, careful on the leather!”

Buffy and Willow were in the car getting ready to leave. Willow looked at Buffy.

“That’s a charming new development.”

“I think it’s disgusting.”

As Buffy pulled out, she had to immediately slam on the brakes when Jesse drove right in front of her on his moped and stopped.

“Remove head from sphincter, then drive!” Buffy yelled.

Jesse drove over to Conner as Buffy drove away.

“You ok?”

“Yeah. Just a minor encounter with the shrew. That’s your girlfriend’s sister.”

“Wait, that’s Dawn’s sister?”

“Uh huh. The mewling rampalian wretch herself.”

Jesse sighs.

“Stay cool, bro.”

Conner nods.

“Yeah. See you later.”

Jesse speeds off, and has to swerve to miss a truck. He speeds off the side of the hill. Everyone runs to the side to watch as Jesse rolls down the hill. When he finally stops, he shakily stands up, turning to the crowd, and throwing his hands in the air.

“Yeah! Whoo!”

He turns around, eyes wide, and promptly passes out.

Buffy was sitting in her favorite chair reading when Hank came in.

“Hello Elizabeth. Make anyone cry today?”

“Sadly no. But it’s only 4:30.” She said without looking up.

Dawn bounced in and kissed Hank on the cheek.

“Hi daddy!”

“Hello, precious.”

Buffy looked up at Dawn.

“And where have you been?”

“Nowhere.”

Hank was looking through the mail.

“Hey, what’s this? It says Columbia University.”

Buffy jumped up and grabbed the package, ripping it open.

“Oh my God! I got in! I got in!”, she screamed.

She ran over to the chair and plopped down in it, intent on reading the rest of the package. Hank walked over.

“Uh honey. That’s great. But isn’t Columbia University on the other side of the country?”

“Thus the basis of its appeal. And Willow, Tara, and the rest of the gang will be going.”

“I thought you were going to stay here and go to school. UCSunnydale, like me.”

“No, you decided.”, Buffy said as she sat up.

“Oh ok, so what, you were just going to pick up and leave?”

“Let’s hope so.” Dawn said.

Buffy glared at Dawn.

“Ask Dawn who drove her home.”

Hank looked at Buffy.

“Now Buffy, don’t change the- “

He spun around and looked at Dawn.

“Drove? Who drove you home?”

Dawn glared at Buffy and turned to Hank.

“Now, daddy, don’t get upset, but there’s this boy-“

“Who’s a flaming idiot.”, Buffy added.

“And I think he might ask me-“

Hank looked at Dawn.

“I think I know what he’s going to ask you. And I think I know the answer: no. It’s always no. What is the house rule? No dating till you graduate. That’s it.”

Dawn sat down.

“Daddy, that’s so unfair. I am the only girl in school who’s not dating.”

“Oh, no you’re not. Your sister doesn’t date.”

“And I don’t intend to.”, Buffy said.

Hank looked at her and smiled.

“And why is that again?”

“Have you seen the delinquents that go to our school?”

Dawn looked at Buffy.

“Where do you come from? Planet Loser?”

“As opposed to Planet Look at Me, Look at Me.”

Hank clapped his hands and the girls looked up.

“Ok, here’s how we solve this one. Old rule out. New rule: Dawn can date-“

Dawn looked at Buffy smugly as Hank finished.

“When she does.”, he pointed at Buffy.

Dawn jumped up.

“But she’s a shrew! What if she never dates?”

“Then you’ll never date. Oh, I like that. And I’ll get to sleep at night. The deep slumber of a father whose daughters aren’t out being impregnated.”

His pager went off. As he leaves, he points at Buffy.

“We’ll talk about Columbia later.”

“Fine.”

Buffy stood up and headed towards the stairs to go to her room and call Willow. Dawn chased after Hank.

“Wait, daddy!”

“Gotta go.”

He leaves and Dawn turns to Buffy.

“Can’t you just find some blind, deaf retard to take you to the movies so I can have one date?”

“I’m sorry. Looks like you’ll miss out on the witty repartee of Angel “Eat me” O’Connor.”

“You suck.”

“You suck.”, Buffy said mockingly. She turned and continued up the stairs leaving behind a fuming Dawn.

Chapter 4

Conner was trying to decipher his French text when Dawn sat down.

“Hi. Can we make this quick? Cecily Hall and Owen Duprey are having a incredibly horrendous breakup on the quad…again.”

“Oh, yeah, um, ok. I thought that we’d, uh, start with pronunciation, if that’s alright with you.”

Dawn shook her head.

“Not the hacking and gagging and spitting part, please.”

“Well, uh, there is an alternative.”

“There is?”

“Yeah, French food. We could, um, eat some together, uh, Saturday night.”

Dawn smiled.

“You’re asking me out? That’s so cute. What’s your name again?”

“Conner. Listen, I know that your dad doesn’t let you date, but I thought that if it was for French class-“

“Oh, wait a minute. Curtis-“

“Conner.”

“My dad just came up with a new rule. I can date when my sister does.”

Conner got excited.

“You’re kidding. Let me ask you, do you like horses? Cause we have a stable and maybe you could come over and-“

“A beaucoup problemo, Calvin. In case you haven’t heard, my sister is a particularly hideous breed of loser.”

Conner looked down.

“Yeah. Yeah, I noticed she’s a little…antisocial. Why is that?”

“Unsolved mystery. She used to be really popular, and then it was like, she got sick of it or something. Theories abound as to why, but I am pretty sure she’s just incapable of human interaction. Plus, she’s a bitch.”

“Well, yeah, but I’m sure there are lots of guys who wouldn’t mind going out with a difficult woman. I mean, people jump out of airplanes and ski off cliffs. It’d be like ‘Extreme Dating’”

“You think you could find someone that extreme?”

“Yeah, sure, why not?”

Dawn gave Conner a smile.

“You would do that for me?”

“Hell, yes!”, Conner said a little too excitedly.

“I-I mean, you know, I could look into it.”

Conner told Jesse his plan and Jesse compiled a list of possible guys.

“Now, I have gathered a group of guys- couldn’t be more perfect. Sunnydale’s finest.”

They walked over to a group of guys. Conner greeted them.

“Hi. How you doin’? Would any of you be interested in dating Buffy Summers?”

One guy laughed. Another just stared at him.

“I’ve never been that ripped.”, said another.

“Maybe if we were the last two people alive…and there were no goats. Are there goats?”, another said.

The last guy just screamed.

Defeated, Conner and Jesse headed to class.

Conner and Jesse were in Biology lab, dissecting frogs.

“Did I not tell you it was pointless? No one will go out with her.”, Jesse said.

Conner looked up as he saw Spike take a knife and violently stab the frog.

“Hey, what about Spike?”

“Him? No, don’t look at him, ok? I may sit at his lunch table…but he’s a criminal. I heard he lit a state trooper on fire. He just did a year at an England jail.”

Conner laughed.

“Well, at least he’s horny.”

“I’m serious man. He’s whacked. He sold his liver on the black market for a new motorcycle.”

Conner looked up at Spike again. Spike had turned on a Bunsen burner and was lighting a cigarette. Xander leaned over and snatched it out of his mouth and put it out on the frog.

Conner looked at Jesse.

“He’s our guy.”

They both turned to look at Spike. He looked up and they both quickly turned away. Spike looked at them and continued playing with the fire.

The next period, Conner and Jesse went to find Spike in the garage. Conner walked over to him.

“Hi. How you doin’? Listen I-“

Spike turned around to face Conner with a drill in his hand. The drill went through Conner’s French book.

“Ok , later then.”, Conner said and quickly walked away.

Spike looked at the boy curiously and shrugged turning back to his work.

The bell rang for lunch and everyone headed to the cafeteria. Buffy sat down at a table with Willow and the others.

“Hey guys.”

“Hey Buffy!”, everyone greeted her.

Buffy noticed Anya was missing.

“Where’s Anya?”

Willow rolled her eyes.

“We think she might be in a closet with that guy from our calculus class. You know, the one who thinks he’s a supervillian. Uh, Andrew, I think.”

“What is it with her? Why does she keep going through all these guys?”

“She says that they ‘provide many orgasms’, or something. You know how Anya is.”, Amy answered.

At that moment, Anya sat down looking extremely angry.

“Hey Anya. What’s wrong?”, Buffy said.

“Ugh, I think Andrew is gay. I tried to convince him to go to the closet with me, but he refused. That little troll!”, she replied huffily.

Fred looked up.

“It’ll be ok Anya.”, she said.

“Yeah I know. I’ll just find someone else next period.”, she said.

The girls held back giggles as Willow changed the subject.

“So, are we Bronzing it tonight?”

“Most definitely.”, Buffy said.

“Ok. We’ll meet at Tara’s house and go together.”, Willow said.

“I might be a little late. I have karate practice this afternoon.”, Buffy told her.

“Oh, me too.”, Anya added.

“What bands are playing tonight?”, Fred asked.

“Um, I think Dingoes Ate my Baby is playing tonight, then a dj is going to take over.”, Tara replied.

“Cool.”, Amy added.

“They’re local. I’ve heard them before,” Buffy said. “That English guy, Spike, is part of it. The one who thinks he’s a badass.”

“Oh yeah! Oz is in it, too. Don’t you think he is cute?”, Willow said excitedly.

“A little. I think Xander is hot. I bet he would give me many nice orgasms.”, Anya said.

“I haven’t really noticed with the whole ‘staying away from guys because of heartbreak’ thing.”, Buffy said.

Willow looked at her sheepishly.

“Don’t worry Buffy. You’ll find the right one. It’s just a matter of time.”

Spike sat down with the guys.

“Hey bleach boy!”, Xander said.

“Hey whelp. Oz.”, Spike replied.

Oz nodded his head.

“So, are we still on for tonight? Gig at the Bronze?”, Spike asked.

“Yep. We’re setting up at 7 and playing at 8.”, Oz said.

“Practice after school at my house. I’ve already talked to Devon.”, Xander said.

“Sounds good. I’ll be a little late though. I need to pick up new guitar strings.”, Spike told him.

“We’ll wait for you. No big.”, Oz said. Spike nodded.

“Right then. It’s a plan.”

Conner and Jesse sat by themselves because they wanted to avoid Spike. Jesse was examining Conner’s French book. He shook his head.

“How do we get him to date Buffy?”

Conner sighed.

“I don’t know. I mean, uh, we could pay him, but we don’t have any money.”

“Yeah, well, what we need is a backer.”

“A backer? What’s that?”

“Someone with money who’s stupid.”

Angel was sitting at his usual table with Gunn, Riley and Parker. He was sitting there drawing on his tray when Jesse sat down next to him. The guys looked at him.

“Is that a peach fruit roll-up? Because you don’t see many-“

As he reached over, Gunn grabbed his wrist.

“Oh, ok, yeah. All right.” Gunn let go of his wrist.

“Are you lost?”, Angel asked him.

“No, actually, I came by to chat.”

Angel shook his head.

“We don’t chat.”

“Well, actually, I thought that I’d run an idea by you, just to see if you’re interested.”

“I’m not.”

“Well, hear me out.”

Angel grabbed Jesse’s face and began to draw on him as he spoke.

“Now, you want Dawn, right? But she can’t go out with you because her sister is this insane head case, and no one will go out with her, right?”

“Does this conversation have a purpose?”

“What I think you need to do, is you need to hire a guy who’ll go out with her. Someone who doesn’t scare so easily.” Jesse pointed at Spike a few tables away.

“That guy?”, Angel asked. “I heard he ate a live duck once.”

“Everything but the beak and feet. Clearly, he’s a solid investment.”

“What’s in it for you?”

“Hey, I’m walking down the hall and I say hello to you, you say hello to me.”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. You’re cool by association. I’ll think about it.”

Jesse nodded and kept sitting there.

“We’re done now.”

“Yeah.”

Jesse got up and went over to Conner.

“What are you doing getting him involved?”

“Relax, now, relax. We let him pretend he’s calling the shots. While he’s busy setting things up, you have time with Dawn.”

“That is a good idea. All right.” Conner chuckled and walked away quickly.

Jesse shook his head.

“I have a dick on my face, don’t I?”

Chapter 6

Spike was sitting in the gym with Xander when Angel walked up.

“Hey. How you doing?”

Spike just ignored Angel, and turned his head the other direction. Angel tried again.

“So, I ate some great duck last night.”

Spike turned to Angel and glared.

“Do I know you?”

Angel ignored him and continued.

“You see that girl?”, he pointed at Buffy across the gym. She was practicing karate moves with another guy. Spike looked up.

“Yeah.”

“That’s Buffy Summers. I want you to go out with her.”

Spike looked at Angel with a shocked expression before he burst out in hysterical laughter. After he calmed down he replied.

“Yeah, sure, Peaches.”

He looked at Xander and shook his head, and they both chuckled. Angel rolled his eyes.

“Look. I can’t take out her sister Dawn until Buffy starts dating. See, their dad is seriously nuts. He has this rule where the girls-“

Spike interrupted.

“That’s a beautiful story. It really is. But it’s not my problem.”

“Would you be willing to make it your problem if I provide generous compensation?”

Spike laughed.

“So, you’re going to pay me to take out some silly bint?”

Angel looked momentarily confused at the use of the word ‘bint’.

“Uh, yeah.”

Spike laughed again and shook his head.

“How much?”

“Twenty bucks. Should be enough for the movies.”

Spike and Angel looked up as Buffy nailed a poor guy in the stomach. The boy doubled over in pain and Buffy shrugged. Angel winced.

“Uh, make that thirty.”

Spike looked at Buffy again, and then back at Angel.

“Ok, let’s think about this. We go to the movies, that’s fifteen bucks. She wants popcorn, that’s fifty-three. And she’ll want Milk Duds, right? So, we’re looking at seventy-five bucks.”

Angel glared at Spike.

“This isn’t a negotiation. Take it or leave it.”

“Fifty bucks and we have a deal, peaches.”

Angel rolled his eyes and gave a slight nod. He handed Spike a fifty dollar bill. Buffy’s instructor blew the whistle, and told them to go. The instructor turned to Buffy.

“Great roundhouse Buffy.”

“Thank you Wesley.”

Buffy headed towards the bench where her things were sitting. She took out a water bottle and gathered her things to leave. Spike saw his opportunity and walked over.

“Hello cutie. How are you?”

Buffy smiled sweetly, rolling her eyes.

“Actually, I’m sweating like a pig. And you?”

Spike looked at her and chuckled.

“Now that’s a way of getting a guy’s attention.”

“Yep. It’s my mission in life. But, obviously, I struck your fancy. So, you see, it works. And the world makes since again.”

Buffy picked up her things and walked away. Spike followed her.

“So, I’ll pick you up on Friday then. At nine?”

She shook her head and laughed. She stopped walking and turned to Spike.

“Oh, Yeah. Right. Friday. Uh huh.”

Spike took this opportunity to lean over and whisper in her ear.

“I’ll take you places you’ve never been before.”

Despite the immediate urge to hit him, Buffy found herself shivering at the sound of his voice. To her relief, he didn’t seem to notice. She quickly regained her composure.

“Like where?” She snapped her fingers. “Oh, I know. I bet you take all the girls to Willy’s bar. Ugh, do you even know my name?”

Spike looked at her.

“I know a lot more than you think, blondie.”

“Don’t call me that. And about you knowing me, doubtful. Very doubtful.”

Buffy turned and walked away leaving Spike staring after her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Conner and Jesse were sitting across the gym. They watched as Spike hit on Buffy and the conversation that followed. Conner saw Buffy say something to Spike, then turn abruptly and leave. Spike didn’t look too happy. Conner shook his head.

“We. Are. Screwed.”

Jesse looked over, looking equally disappointed.

“Hey. I don’t want to hear that attitude. You need to be more upbeat. More optimistic.”

Conner rolled his eyes and humored Jesse.

“We’re screwed!”, he said, making a vain attempt at sounding cheerful.

“Yeah. That’s it. Optimistic!”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike arrived at Xander’s house just in time to hear him recounting the events in the gym to Oz.

“And then, Buffy was like, ‘You don’t know me!’. And then she left. Man, she looked pissed.” Xander looked up as Spike entered. “Oh, hey man.”

Spike nodded at Xander. Oz looked at Spike.

“So, let’s see if I have this right: Angel is paying you to go out with Buffy, just so he can take out her sister Dawn?”

Spike nodded and sat down with his guitar.

“She’s a tough girl, Spike. It won’t be easy. I mean, if you pull the wrong move, you could get castrated. Remember Scott Hope?”, Xander said chuckling.

They looked up as Devon walked in.

“Alright dudes, let’s practice.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy went home and took a quick shower. When she was done, she put on a black leather skirt and a black, backless halter top. She put on some light makeup and went downstairs.

She left to go to Tara’s house. The entire drive, she kept thinking about Spike.

‘Why would he ask me out? He’s never bothered to talk to me before.’

She just brushed it off as a momentary lapse of sanity and figured it would probably never happen again. She parked in front of Tara’s house and got out. She went to the door and rang the bell. The door opened.

“Hi Buffy!”, Tara greeted her.

“Hey Tara. So, is everyone ready to go?”

Willow walked up.

“You betcha.”

Anya was looking in a compact reapplying her lipstick.

“Well, I sure am ready to dance with a lot of guys. Maybe get orgasms.”

They looked at her. Fred broke the silence.

“So, who’s car are we taking?”

“We can take mine.” Buffy said.

Amy walked in and kissed Tara on the cheek, then turned to the group.

“Let’s go!” she said.

They all grabbed their things and headed out.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The girls entered the Bronze just as Dingoes Ate my Baby began the third song of the set. Buffy saw Spike onstage and her heart skipped a beat.

‘Whoa. What was that. God, he looks hot.’

The girls found a table and sat down. They listened to the band play before deciding to dance.

The dance floor was crowded as they made their way towards the front where there were fewer people. As the Dingoes went into another song, Buffy looked at Spike, but when he saw her looking, she turned around and continued dancing.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike saw Buffy on the dance floor. She was dancing with her friends and laughing. She looked at him once or twice, but she would quickly look away.

‘Damn, she looks good.’ , he thought as he continued playing.

Oz was on the other side of the stage playing his guitar. He looked up and out into the dance floor, his eyes scanning the crowd. Then he saw her. She had flame red hair and a beautiful smile. He watched her as she danced with her friends, one of them he recognized as the infamous Buffy.

Devon stopped singing as Spike and Oz kept playing. Oz called to Devon.

“Hey. Who’s that?” he pointed to Willow.

“Uh, Willow something, I think. She’s in my Biology class. I copy her notes.”

Devon went back to the microphone. Oz smiled, watching the girl intently.

The Dingoes ended their set and the crowd applauded. The exited the stage.

Devon left, leaving Spike, Xander, and Oz.

“Buffy’s here.” Spike told them.

Oz looked at him.

“Well, maybe you should introduce us to her and her friends.”

“Oz, does this have anything to do with a certain red head that you were so blatantly staring at?” Xander questioned.

Oz looked at him.

“Yeah. I want to meet her and I figured that if Spike went to talk with Buffy it would be a good excuse.”

Spike looked at them.

“Well, then, let’s go over and chat.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The girls left the dance floor and went back to their table and sat down.

They ordered drinks, and were sitting there talking about the Spike situation.

“I dunno, Buffy. Maybe you should give him a chance.” Tara told her.

Buffy looked at her.

“Nuh uh. I keep telling you, me plus any guy equals total heartbreak.” , she said glumly.

“How do you know for sure it won’t work out?” Anya questioned.

“Just…because! Remember, the last guy I was in love with slept with me, cheated on me, and left me. I’m not gonna take that chance again.”

“Buffy, that was Angel.” Tara told her.

“Angel’s a prick.” Anya told her.

“Come on Buffy, you never know, Spike could be the right guy. You’ll never find out though if you never try.” Willow told her.

Buffy looked at Willow hopefully.

“I’ll think about it.”, she replied.

Anya looked over Buffy’s shoulder. She saw Spike walking over with two other guys.

“Well, Buffy. It looks like you have a chance right now.” Anya told her.

“Huh? What are you-“

Spike walked up to the table.

“Hello blondie.”

She jumped at the sound of his voice. She turned around and looked at him.

“I told you not to call me that. What do you want?”

Anya rolled her eyes.

“Well, that idea went to hell quick.”

The girls held back giggles as Spike looked over.

“What?”, he asked Anya.

“Oh nothing.”

He turned to Buffy.

“So, pet. Aren’t introductions in order?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. She went around the table introducing everyone. They all looked at Spike and said hello.

“So, what about your friends, Spike?”

“These are my friends, and bandmates, Xander and Oz.”

“Hey” Xander said.

Oz smiled and nodded looking at Willow. She nervously smiled back.

“So, would you like to sit down?” Willow asked them.

“Sure.” Oz said.

The guys sat down and they began talking. The time passed by too quickly. About two hours later, they all stood up to leave and said their goodbyes and went their separate ways.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy dropped off everyone and went home. She was in the bathroom washing her face when Dawn walked in. She circled Buffy, looking her over.

“Have you ever considered a new look? Something other than leather and dark colors? You know, something a little more girly? You could have a lot of potential under all of that hostility.”

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“I’m not hostile. I’m annoyed. You forget, I don’t care what other people think.”

Buffy watched as Dawn brushed her hair.

“You don’t have to always be what they want you to be.”, she told her.

Dawn turned around and faced Buffy.

“I happen to like being adored thank you very much.”

Buffy noticed the locket around Dawn’s neck. She thought it looked vaguely familiar.

“Where’d you get the locket?”

“It’s Mom’s.”

Remembering the locket, anger filled Buffy.

“So what? You’ve been hiding it for three years?”, she yelled, tears threatening to spill.

“No. Daddy found it in a drawer last week.”

“So, you’re just gonna start wearing her locket now?”

“It’s not like she’s going to come back to claim it! Besides, it looks good on me.” Dawn said, admiring her reflection in the mirror.

Buffy started to shake. She gritted her teeth and glared at Dawn.

“Trust me, it doesn’t!”

She practically ran from the bathroom. She went in to her bedroom and slammed the door just as tears began streaming down her cheeks.

Chapter 7

It was Saturday morning. Buffy woke up and took a shower and got dressed and left. She went to her favorite record store on Main Street. As she was leaving the store, she saw Spike leaning against her car.

Her mind wandered back to what Willow had told her the night before. Spike saw her and stood up.

“Nice ride. Vintage fenders.”

“Are you following me?” Buffy asked.

“I was in the laundromat. I saw your car and thought I would stop and say hi.”

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Hi.”, she said mockingly.

As she was getting ready to open her car door, Spike slid over and blocked her.

“Not a big talker, huh?”

“It depends on the topic.”

Spike inched closer until their faces were only a few inches apart.

“You’re not afraid of me, are you?”

“Why would I be afraid of you?”

“Well, most people are.”

“Well, I’m not.”

Spike decided to tease her a little more.

“Well, maybe you’re not afraid of me, but I’m sure you’ve thought about me naked.”

Buffy stepped back and looked at him mockingly.

“Am I that transparent? I want you. I need you.”

She opened her car door, shoving Spike out of the way. Spike threw his hands in the air and walked away. Just as Buffy was getting ready to back up, Angel parked behind her, blocking her exit.

“What is it, Asshole Day?” Buffy yelled. As Angel walked by, she asked, “Do you mind?”

Angel laughed.

“Not at all.”

‘Oh, I’ll show him.’ Buffy thought.

She revved the engine and slammed on the gas, crashing into Angel’s car. Sahe pulled back up, revealing a huge hole in the driver’s side door. Angel ran up to the car.

“You bitch!”

Spike, having witnessed the beautiful scene, began laughing. Buffy giggled, then she shrugged.

“Whoops.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hank stalked by Buffy.

“’Whoops’? My insurance doesn’t cover PMS, Elizabeth!”

Buffy sighed.

“Well, tell them I had a seizure.”

Hank started pacing again.

“Is this because of Columbia? Are you punishing me because I want you to stay close to home?”

“I’m not punishing you. But I do want you to stop making my decisions for me.”

“I’m your father. It’s my right.”

“So what I want doesn’t matter?”

“Elizabeth, you’re eighteen. You don’t know what you want. And you won’t know what you want until you’re 45. And even if you get it, you’ll be too old to use it!”

Buffy stood up, angry.

“I want to go to an East Coast school! I want you to trust me to make my own decisions! And I want you to stop trying to control my life just because you can’t control yours!”

Hank looked at her.

“You know what I want?-“

His pager beeped. As he headed out the door, he turned back to Buffy.

“We’ll finish this later.”

“Oh, I can’t wait!” Buffy said in mock excitement.

She began to go up to her room when Dawn ran up.

“Did you maim Angel’s car?”

“Yep. Looks like you’ll have to take the bus.”

Buffy rolled her eyes and continued upstairs.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Monday, Spike was standing at his locker when Angel walked up.

“When I pay someone fifty bucks I expect results.”

“Yeah. I’m on it.” Spike told him.

“Watching that bitch violate my car doesn’t count as a date. Now, if you don’t get any, I don’t get any. So get some.”

Angel walked away and Spike called after him.

“I just upped my price. One hundred bucks. In advance.”

Angel glared at him.

“Forget it.”

He turned to leave and Spike spoke again.

“Well, then forget her sister.”

Knowing he had Angel then, Spike smirked. Angel walked over and gave Spike another fifty bucks.

“You better hope you are as smooth as you think you are.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next period, Conner and Jesse cautiously crept into the garage looking for Spike. When they saw him, they stopped and looked at each other nervously.

“Go.” Jesse told Conner.

“No, you go. I went last time.”

At Jesse’s look, Conner sighed.

“Fine. I’ll go. But if I lose any body parts, you’re paying for them.”

Conner walked up to Spike, with Jesse following.

“We know what you’re trying to do with Buffy Summers.”

Spike looked at Conner and chuckled.

“Is that right? What are you going to do about it?”

“Help you out.”

“And why’s that?”

Cowering behind Conner, Jesse answered.

“The situation is, my man Conner has a major crush on Dawn Summers.”

Spike looked at Conner.

“What is it with this bint?”

Jesse continued.

“I think I speak correctly when I say that Conner’s love is pure, purer than Angel O’Connor’s.”

Spike sighed and shook his head.

“Look, I’m only in this for the cash. Angel can shag whoever he wants.”

“Hey! There will be no shagging!” Conner told him.

Jesse pushed past Conner.

“Spike, let me explain something to you. We set this whole thing up so Conner can get the girl. Angel is just a pawn.”

Spike considered what they were offering.

“So, you two are going to help me tame the wild beast?”

They nodded.

“Absolutely.” Jesse replied. “We’ll do some research, find out what she likes. We’re your guys!”

Conner stammered.

“Uh, he means that in a non-prison movie way.”

Jesse shook his head.

“Uh, let’s see here.” He took a flyer out of his pocket. “Riley Finn is having a party this Friday night. It’s the perfect opportunity to take out Buffy.”

Spike nodded.

“I’ll think about it.” , he said as he walked away.

Conner looked at Jesse.

“I hope this works.”

“Trust me. It’ll work.” Jesse told him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Angel was standing with Dawn at his locker.

“Now this is really important. Which one do you like better?”

He held up two pictures of himself, with identical poses, except in one shot his shirt was black, and the other was white.

Dawn looked at them, not really seeing any difference except the color of the shirt.

“Um…I think I like the white shirt better.”

“Yeah. It’s more-“

“Pensive?”

“Damn. I was going for thoughtful.”

Dawn looked at him, barely containing a giggle.

“So, are you going to Riley’s party Friday night?”

“Yeah, I might.”

“Good, because you know, I’m not gonna bother if you won’t be there.”

Dawn grinned widely.

“So, see you there?”

“Yeah.”

“All right.”

Dawn left and headed to her next class.

Chapter 8

Dawn and Conner met for another French lesson.

“So, have you heard about Riley Finn’s party?” Conner asked.

“Yeah. And I really, really, really wanna go. But you know I can’t. Now unless Buffy does.”

“Yeah. I know. I’m working on that, but so far, she’s not going for my guy. She’s not a-“

“KD Lang fan? No. I found a picture of Christian Slater in her drawer once, so I’m pretty sure she’s not harboring same sex tendancies.”

“Oh, ok. So she likes pretty guys?”

I don’t know. All I have ever heard her say is that she would die before dating a guy that smokes.”

“Ok. So, no smoking. Anything else?”

“You’re asking me to investigate the inner workings of my sister’s twisted mind? I don’t think so.” Dawn rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, well. We have nothing else to go on. We have to get behind enemy lines here.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dawn was looking through the drawers in Buffy’s room while Conner fidgeted nervously.

“Ok. Here we go. Class schedule, reading list, date book, concert tickets.”

She handed him the items and went to the other side of the room and began to look through those drawers.

“Aha! Black panties.” Dawn said holding up a lacy thong.

“Uh, what does that tell us?” Conner asked.

“That she wants to have sex, that’s what.” Dawn told him.

“What? Oh, come on. She could just like the color. She does wear a lot of black.”

“Conner, you don’t buy sexy, black lingerie unless you want someone to see it.”

“Oh. So, can I see your room.”

Dawn stood up.

“No! A girl’s room is very private.”

Disappointed, Conner nodded.

“Oh, ok.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Conner and Jesse nervously entered Willy’s bar.

“So, is this what a bar looks like?” Conner asked, reaching into a jar for a peppermint. Jesse slapped his hand.

“Don’t touch that! You could get hepatitis!”

They saw Spike playing pool with Xander and Oz and walked over.

“So, what have you got for me?” Spike asked them.

“A little insight to a very complicated girl.” Conner told him.

Jesse looked at Spike as he took a drink of his beer.

“Excuse me. Just a quick question before we get started here. Should you be drinking when you don’t have a liver?”

Spike looked at Jesse confused.

“What?”

“Nothing. Nevermind.” Jesse said.

Conner shook his head.

“Anyway. First thing: Buffy hates guys who smoke.”

Conner reached over and took the cigarette out of Spike’s hand.

“So, you’re saying I’m a non-smoker?”

“Yeah, well, just for now.” Jesse told him.

“And here’s another problem: Buffy likes pretty guys.”

Spike looked at Conner and Jesse.

“Are you saying I’m not pretty?”

Conner and Jesse laughed nervously.

“Of course you’re pretty!” Conner told him.

“Yeah, he’s a gorgeous guy!” Jesse told Conner. Conner continued.

“Ok. Here we go. Likes: pasta, feminist prose, and angry girl music. Here’s a list of CD’s she has in her room.”

Spike looked at the paper.

“So, what you’re saying is, I have to buy her some noodles and a book, and listen to some chits who can’t play their instruments?”

“Yeah, well, her favorite band is playing at the Bronze tonight.”

“Wait, I can’t sit there and listen to that crap!” Spike told them.

“Just for one night.” Jesse said.

“She has a black lace thong, if that helps.” Conner told him.

Spike looked at Conner and chuckled.

‘Wouldn’t mind seeing that.’ Spike thought.

“Hey, couldn’t hurt, right?” Jesse said.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike entered the Bronze. It was filled with mostly girls, and Spike felt a little emasculated as he walked through the crowd to the bar. He ordered a drink and turned to look for Buffy.

He saw her dancing with Willow and the others. He watched her dance, loving the way she moved to the beat. When the song was over, Buffy headed towards the bar.

Spike turned around and bent over his drink. Buffy walked up and ordered a bottle of water. She saw Spike and sighed. She got her water and walked over to him.

“If you’re planning on asking me out again, you may as well get it over with.”, she told him.

Spike looked up.

“Do you mind? You’re kind of ruining the moment here.”

“You’re not surrounded by your usual cloud of smoke.”

“Yeah. I quit. I hear they are bad for you.”

“Really?” Buffy said sarcastically.

“You know these guys are no Velvet Chain or Letters to Cleo, but they’re not bad.”

Spike stood up and headed out onto the dance floor. Intrigued, Buffy followed.

“You know who Velvet Chain is?”, she asked.

“Why? Don’t you?”

Buffy stared at him not knowing what to say.

“I was watching you out there earlier. I’ve never seen you look so sexy.”

He said the last part just as the song ended. Everyone laughed and Buffy blushed.

“Come to Riley’s party with me.”

“You never give up do you?”, she asked.

“Was that a yes?”

“No.”

“Well, was that a no?”

“No.”

Buffy laughed and walked away.

“So, I’ll pick you up at nine then?”

Not hearing him, Buffy waved at him and continued walking through the crowd.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was Friday night. Dawn and Cordelia were sneaking down the stairs towards the door.

“You should have used the window.” Hank said from the sofa.

“Hi Daddy.” Dawn said.

“Hi.” He stood up and walked over to the girls. “So, where are we going?”

“If you must know, a small study group of friends.”

“Otherwise known as an orgy?”

“Mr. Summers, it’s just a party.” Cordelia said.

“And Hell is just a sauna.”

Hank turned to Buffy as she came down the stairs.

“Do you know anything about a party?”

Buffy shook her head.

“People expect me to be there.” Dawn said.

“Buffy’s not going, you’re not going.” Hank told her.

Dawn stalked over to Buffy.

“Can’t you just be normal?”

“Define normal.”

“Riley’s party. Normal. Dating. Normal.” Dawn said.

Buffy looked at Hank.

“Riley’s party is just an excuse for the idiots at our school to drink beer and rub up against each other in hopes of distracting themselves from the pathetic emptiness-“

“Of their meaningless, consumer driven lives.” Dawn and Cordelia finished.

“Can you go just this once? Please. Buffy, please?” Dawn pleaded.

Buffy sighed.

“Fine. I’ll make an appearance. I’m gonna go change.”

Buffy went up the stairs and Dawn and Cordelia squealed.

“Oh, no it’s started.” Hank said.

“Daddy, it’s just a party.” Dawn said.

“I want you to wear the belly.”

Dawn gasped.

“Daddy, no.”

“Just for a few minutes. Just so you’ll know the weight of your decisions.”

Hank put the belly on Dawn. Buffy came down the stairs wearing black leather pants and a red backless tube top.

“We’re going now.” , she announced, putting on her jacket.

“Just a minute.” Hank told her.

“Now, no drinking. No drugs. No tattoos. No kissing. No piercings. No ritual animal slaughters of any kind. Oh, no I’m giving them ideas.”

Buffy opened the door just as Spike was about to knock. Buffy looked at him in shock.

“What are you doing here?”

“Nine o’clock, right?” At Buffy’s confused look he added, “Well, I’m early.”

“Whatever. I’m driving.”

Buffy walked out. Spike looked at Dawn and chuckled.

“Who knocked up your sister?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Conner and Jesse were getting ready for the party.

“So then, Dawn says that I was right. That she didn’t wear the Kenneth Coles with that dress, and that-this is a direct quote-‘Really meant something.’”

“You told me that already. Stop being so self centered for a minute. How do I look?” Jesse asked.

Conner chuckled.

“Like my great uncle Milton.”

“So should I lose the tie?”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe you’re right. I’m just so nervous. And I’m also very excited. I’m nervous. I’m excited. It’s all very mixed up. I don’t know what to do.”

“All right! Calm down!” Conner told him.

“The last party I went to was at Chucky Cheese. You wanna talk about some fun. That was a good time.”

Jesse picked up a hair dryer and began to blow dry his already dry hair. Conner looked at him and shook his head and continued getting ready.

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