Chapter 1:

*

"Dawn! Time for dinner!" William Michaels called out as he finished stirring the pasta sauce. He poured his daughter a glass of Coca-cola, topped it off with ice, and waited for her to come downstairs. Normally she'd be jumping into her seat by now, shovelling food into her mouth. The girl had a real appetite. William smiled to himself, and placed three candles on the table, lighting them quickly.

The food was waiting, the candles were lit, and Dawn still hadn't come downstairs. Concern knotted itself in the pit of his stomach, and William rushed from the room to find her.

"Dawn?" He went to the foot of the stairs and waited for her response. "Nibblet?"

Soft whimpers echoed from upstairs, and he instantly panicked. William raced upstairs and threw her bedroom door open to find nobody in there. He went into his bedroom and found it empty as well. She wasn't in the bathroom or the activity room.

That only left one room, and his heart plummeted, dread coursing through him. William hurried into his study and found Dawn sitting by his cabinet, sobbing into a collection of crumpled papers.

"Sweetheart?" He approached her carefully, reaching out to take her hand as she cried.

"Don't touch me." Dawn hissed, glaring up at him. "You dirty, rotten LIAR!"

William felt tears sting his own eyes. "Nibblet, please.. tell me what's wrong, pet."

"YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL ME THE TRUTH NOW!!" She shrieked hysterically, tearing out of his embrace. "I hate you.. I hate you.. I hate you!"

She continued chanting in this way, her brown eyes darting back and forth as though she were a frightened rabbit. Tears streamed down her face, and William felt his heart shatter to see his little girl this way. He couldn't think of what to say.

"Please.. don't say that, luv." He reached out to touch her again, but this seemed to enrage her more. She whacked him across the face and started pummeling his chest with weak fists.

"I hate you.." Dawn sobbed, shoving the fifteen-year-old adoption papers at him. "I hate you!"

She ran from the room and before he could chase after her, William heard her lock click shut. He sunk down onto his knees, feeling the tears start to fall.

*
 

Chapter 2:

"Dawn.. I know you don't want to talk to me right now, luv, but I think you're making a mistake." William glanced at her, his heart aching as Dawn simply glared back at him.

"I'm fine, William."

That hurt him all the more. He'd always been Dad, or even Spike occasionally. They'd been like best friends for years now, closer than he knew any other father and daughter to be. Now she was treating him as though she were a total stranger.

"Pet, can you not do this right now?" William pleaded as they pulled into the rest bay. "Do you want something from the store?"

Dawn jumped out of the car, slamming the door shut behind her so hard the windows shuddered. She stormed ahead of him, ignoring him as he called after her.

"I want these." Dawn insisted, thrusting three bags of candy at him. "Oh, wait, maybe I should pay. I'm not meant to take candy from strangers."

He grabbed them from her and handed them to the cashier. "A cup of coffee, too. And how far are we from Sunnydale?"

"Bout a half hour." The woman smiled at him. "Your daughter looks upset about something..?"

"I'm not his daughter." Dawn broke in angrily. "He's been lying to me for fifteen years. I'll be in the car, William."

He blinked back tears and forced a smile at the woman. "She found out she was adopted."

She gave him a sympathetic smile. "The food's on the house. It must be tough for you."

"Thanks." He smiled at her gratefully and reluctantly returned to his SUV. Dawn had cranked the music right up, and simply snatched the bags of candy from him without so much as a glance. He hardly ever yelled at Dawn, but right now she was really making his blood boil. "Dawn.."

"Yes, William?" She gave him an icy look.

"Stop being such an ungrateful little brat." He hissed, slamming the car door shut behind him. "Sure, I didn't tell you yet. I was waiting until you turned 16, because that's when me and your mother-"

"She wasn't my mother." Dawn snapped. "She was your wife, that was all. Nothing to do with me."

"She helped me raise you!" William shouted. "And don't act like you didn't love her for it. You cried for weeks when we-"

"DON'T!" Dawn shrieked, slapping her hands over her ears. "Just don't."

*

He stood silently outside the door for a few moments before knocking. William had left Dawn at the hotel, just as furious as she'd been on the ride over. He'd considered going to a bar somewhere and getting drunk until his mind went blank, but he knew that wouldn't help the situation.

He'd met Dawn's mother once, back when she was just a kid in trouble. William barely remembered what she looked like now, and even her name had faded in his memory. But ever since Dawn had decided to hate him, their conversations were haunted with it. She spoke of Elizabeth this, Elizabeth that, as though she'd be the greatest person in the world.

The door swung open, interrupting his thoughts. A blonde girl smiled at him radiantly and offered him her hand. "Hey, you must be William. I'm Buffy."

Christ, she's beautiful. He found himself speechless before her. "Um... yeah. Dawn's at the hotel, I thought we should speak.. first?"

Buffy nodded. "Come in. It's been years.. it's not like I'd forgotten Dawn, but it's just a shock to hear from you guys."

"She wouldn't speak to me until I made the call." He rolled his eyes. "Not that there's been any improvement since."

"It must be hard for her." Buffy said softly. "Would she like to come over tomorrow?"

William nodded. "Look.. she's pretty set on the idea that you're going to take her back. It doesn't matter what I say, she just wants to be with her real mom."

Buffy was silent for a while, then stood up and started bustling around the kitchen. "Right then. Look, William.. um.. wait, didn't you call yourself something else back then?"

He chuckled. "Spike. Dawn's the only one who really stuck with that.. until now."

"Can I call you Spike?" She asked, placing a plate of Oreos in front of him.

He nodded, and she continued. "I'd love to meet Dawn, and even have a relationship with her. But I don't think she can live here, there's just stuff going on that I.. well I.."

"I understand." He said quickly. "But I'm not sure Dawn will, and.."

A set of keys turned in the front door, and heavy feet stomped through the house. Spike watched the conflict of emotions rise on Buffy's face, first confusion, then anger, then fear. He turned and saw a man coming into the kitchen, a small boy perched on his hip.

"Who's this?" The man sneered, glaring at Buffy.

"A friend. William." She said quickly, going to take the boy from him.

"Another one of your quick fucks, slutface?" The man smirked at Spike. Anger flared up within him at hearing the man's referral to Buffy, and Spike found himself ready to punch him.

"Get out, Riley." Buffy hissed.

"I'll be here for Adrian next week." He said and left.

"I'm so sorry." Buffy gushed, blinking back the tears that were brimming in her green eyes. "This is... well, that was Riley, my ex. And this is.. our son, Adrian."

Spike stared at the small child and gave him a small smile. "Hi."

"Hi." Adrian replied shyly, sucking on his thumb.

Buffy smiled down at the boy and said softly, "Adrian, this is Spike. He's a friend of mine."

"Hello Mr. Spike." The boy chuckled as he spoke.

"I'll just take him upstairs." Buffy said quietly.

She returned a few minutes later and sat beside Spike. She gave him a weak smile. "I know what you're thinking."

"You do?" He asked doubtfully.

"Dawn's going to see this as a matter of I ditched her, and kept him. But.. Dawn's father was much different to Adrian's."

"How so?"

"Dawn's father didn't know about her." Buffy took a deep breath. "I wanted it to be the same with Adrian. I planned on having an abortion at first, because the kind of relationship I had with Riley wouldn't be healthy with a child involved. But he found out and insisted we have the baby. He's a very.."

"What?" Spike prompted her curiously.

"Persuasive man." She finished, and again, fear darted into her eyes. "Look.. bring Dawn over here tomorrow at 11. We can have lunch and she can meet Adrian."

Buffy paused, and asked nervously, "How do you think she'll react?"

Spike sighed and muttered dismally, "This is going to kill her."

*

 

Chapter 3:

*

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Spike asked gently as they pulled into Buffy's driveway.

Dawn didn't reply, but he could tell she wasn't. She was staring up at the house with wide, frightened eyes, and he took her hand. "Luv, I know this is hard."

"I'm okay." She said firmly and gave him a tiny smile. "Thanks for bringing me here."

"It's okay, Nibblet. Now c'mon." He jumped out of the car, and went around to her side to open the door. Dawn stepped out and hugged him quickly, smiling up at him gratefully.

Spike held her hand reassuringly as she rang the doorbell. "It'll be okay, pet."

"I know." Dawn said in a wobbly voice as the door swung open.

"Hey." Buffy grinned at Dawn. "Wow."

"Yeah." Dawn mumbled, eyes downcast.

"Come in, honey." Buffy glanced at Spike and saw he was looking at her with concern. "Is everything okay?"

Dawn nodded and smiled at Buffy. "It's just weird. For him and me."

Spike was still worried about the purple bruise shadowing her right eye, but he forced a smile at Buffy. "Would you girls like me to.."

"You can stay." The both blurted out at the same time. Dawn turned to Buffy and they laughed.

"Come in." Buffy offered and let them past. "Here."

Spike felt her hands on his shoulders, and shivered slightly as Buffy slid his coat off. "Where's Adrian?"

"It's his naptime." Buffy explained, glancing at Dawn. "Would you like to meet him when he wakes up?"

"Sure." Dawn smiled weakly. "How old is he?"

"He's four. Hey, let's sit down." Buffy led them into the living room and they all sat down.

Nervous to be the first one to speak again, Dawn took a deep breath and asked, "Where's my dad?"

Buffy glanced at Spike and saw how stung he was by this question. Jokingly, she said, "Umm.. right here?"

Dawn frowned. "He's not my real dad."

Buffy took Spike's hand and squeezed it gently. "Well, Dawnie, I'm afraid he's the only one you'll ever know."

"You mean.. you don't even know who my dad is?"

"I know who he is, I don't know where he is." Buffy smiled sadly. "I'm sorry."

"Did he even know about me?" Dawn asked quietly.

"No, I'm sorry, Dawnie. But you wouldn't have wanted to know him, he wasn't a good guy. And it looks like the father you have now is really great and-"

"I don't want him! I want my real dad!" Dawn yelled, glaring at Buffy loathingly. She ran from the room, tears streaming down her face.

Buffy turned to Spike and saw he was about to cry as well. "She doesn't mean that. I'm sure."

He swallowed hard and smiled at her. "Yeah."

*

Dawn left the bathroom, wiping tears from her face. She felt really and truly awful inside for saying what she'd said to her dad. She was about to return to the living room, when a soft cry of, "Mama!", came from nearby.

She went into the next room and realized it must be Adrian's. In the corner of the room was his cot, and a little brunette boy was trying to climb out of it. Dawn smiled and approached him, sweeping him into her arms. "Hey you."

"Hello." Adrian giggled, poking his tongue out at her.

"You're just the cutest!" Dawn cooed, brushing her hands through his thick curly hair. "Wow. Hey, I'm Dawnie."

Adrian started squirming about in her arms and she placed him on the floor, watching adoringly as he ran over to a huge box of toys in the corner. He pulled out a small train and yelled out, "Traim!"

"Okay." Dawn knelt down in front of the toy box and pulled out the jigsaw pieces of railroad, along with the other trains. "Want to put them together?"

Adrian squealed happily and they went to work piecing it together.

*

"I think she's playing with Adrian." Spike noted as they listened to the boy's happy laughter floating down from upstairs. "Do you mind?"

"No." Buffy smiled at him. "So.. your wife.."

Spike took a deep breath and said softly, "She died four years ago. Cancer."

"Oh. How did Dawnie take it?"

"Hard. She just.. cried." Spike winced at the mere memory of how miserable Dawn had been. "For weeks, if not months."

Buffy realized she was still holding his hand and blushed, unlacing their fingers quickly. "Tell me a bit about her."

"She wants to be an artist when she's older, she's really quite good at it." He smiled to himself. "Photography's also one of her hobbies, I taught her all about it since she was little."

"Are you a photographer?" Buffy asked curiously.

He nodded, gleefully noticing she was hanging on his every word. "Yeah, I kind of work for myself these days though. I used to do fashion stuff, like for Vogue, for a while, but now it's just scenic things."

"I'd love to see it some..time." Buffy paused briefly, realizing he was staring at her lips with lust in his eyes. She cleared her throat and quickly continued the conversation, "Does Dawn have a boyfriend or anything?"

Spike scowled and shook his head disapprovingly. "Yeah. It's this guy, Connor, he's 18."

"You don't like him?" Buffy guessed.

"He's too old for her." Spike sighed angrily. "But she won't listen. I can't say anything to her anymore without her shouting at me that I'm not her real dad."

"Ouch." She smiled at him. "You may not be her real one, but you seem like a good one."

Spike reached out suddenly and traced his thumb over the bruise he'd noticed earlier. "Where'd you get this?"

Buffy trembled slightly at his touch and pulled away. "Nowhere."

Spike frowned. "You don't just get a bruise like that 'nowhere', luv."

Buffy giggled nervously and jumped up. "I'm going to get Dawn. Do you think she'd like some lunch? I can make hot dogs.. Adrian loves them, he calls them hom-doms. I don't really know why."

She rushed out of the room, gingerly holding her hand over the mark Riley had drunkenly left the night before.

"Hey guys." Buffy smiled at Dawn and Adrian from the doorway. "You want some lunch?"

"Sure." Dawn smiled. "Oh, wait."

She reached into her bag and pulled out a small photo album. "I brought this for you. I thought you might like to look at it.. it's photos of me growing up, that my dad.. that William.."

"You can call him your dad." Buffy assured her, helping Dawn up. "So.. you and Adrian are getting along?"

"Yeah. You don't mind me playing with him, right?" Dawn glanced nervously at the little boy who was still rolling the trains along the wooden track.

"Of course not." Buffy grinned. "He loves it when people play with him. I don't always have the time. Look.. we should talk about Adrian."

"What about him?"

"Just.." Buffy smiled uneasily. "Well, why he's here with me and you aren't."

Dawn nodded. "Okay. So.. why?"

"Is now the right time, your dad's waiting.." Buffy laughed nervously. "No, you're right. Look.. let's sit down."

They sat down beside Adrian on the carpet. Buffy flipped through the photo album as she spoke, a small smile on her face. "Look.. when I got pregnant with you, I was your age. My mom was furious. It's not like she expected me to remain a virgin until my honeymoon or anything, but a baby at 15, to her, wasn't an option. I could never have an abortion, so I decided to have you adopted. That way, you could have a real home, a real family, a real life. Adrian.. he came along when I was ready. I couldn't give him up like I did you, because I've never stopped regretting it. With Adrian, it was a safe bet, because I'm at a place in my life now where I have stability, and I wish you could be a part of it. I really hope you can be a part of it." She smiled lovingly at Dawn. "You're so beautiful."

Dawn went bright red and grinned. "I'd really like you to be in my life too."

"There are a lot of people who won't like it, though." Buffy said sadly. "Adrian's dad, for example. And my mom.. she said that I was never to see you again, perhaps for her own sanity. And your dad.."

"Oh, he won't have a problem with it." Dawn shook her head. "He's cool."

"But you guys live in LA... that's a lot of driving back and forth for your dad." Buffy shrugged. "I guess things can be figured out. How about we go get lunch?"

Dawn knew her dad wouldn't like what she had in mind, but she really liked Buffy. And Adrian. And she knew that family was very important to her dad.. as it was to her.

Dad will do it. Dawn smiled to herself and picked Adrian up. He loves me. He has to.

*
 

Chapter 4:

"So.. you guys should come around again sometime." Buffy glanced at Spike. "Would tomorrow night be okay? We can have dinner and talk some more."

"That's alright." Spike agreed.

"Great." Buffy turned back to Dawn. "Do you like pizza? We can order out, get some movies.. just have fun."

Dawn nodded eagerly. "That'd be cool."

"We'd better go." Spike smiled at Buffy again and then led Dawn back to the car.

Once they were driving, Dawn turned to him and grinned. "Did you like her? She's great, isn't she?"

"She is, luv." He smiled at her. "You looking forward to tomorrow?"


Dawn nodded. "Sunnydale's nice, isn't it?"

He frowned, and asked suspiciously, "What exactly are you getting at?"

"I think it's a nice town, that's all." She gazed out the window. "It's peaceful. You're always talking about LA being too noisy."

They stopped at the lights, and he turned to face her. "Why don't you just say what you're thinking, pet?"

"I want to move here." Dawn said happily. "Wouldn't that be the best?"

After a long pause, Spike sighed angrily, and muttered, "We've known your mother two days. We can't just move here."

Dawn glared at him. "No, you've known her two days. I've only known her one. And I want her to be a bigger part of my life."

"I do too, Nibblet, but you can't ask me to move here." He stopped the car outside their motel door and turned to her. "Luv, it's just not sensible."

"She's my mother!" Dawn yelled. "This isn't fair."

"We can visit, alright, but I don't think Buffy will want us bearing down on her like this." Spike unlocked the door, and Dawn shoved past him.

"She's my mother." Dawn repeated icily. "I want to have her in my life."

"I know that-"

"I'll stop dating Connor!" She cried triumphantly. "If you let us move here, I won't see Connor ever again."

Spike chuckled. "Yeah, like that would stick."

"It would!" Dawn insisted. "Please, daddy."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't try that."

Dawn pouted. "It would be my birthday and Christmas present. And you know I love my birthday and Christmas. That's how much this means!"

"Dawn. You are asking me to give up my life-"

Dawn narrowed her eyes at him. "You're a freelance photographer! You can do that here too!"

"You're asking me to move to a town that looks like a bloody hole!" Spike protested. "For a woman we hardly know."

"She's my mom!" Dawn shouted and stormed into her room, slamming the door behind her. Through it, she shouted, "You aren't even real to me! You're not my real dad!"

He hated those words. He hated that for the past week, every conversation they had was punctuated with them. Unable to control his anger any more, he picked up a glass from the table and hurled it at the wall as hot tears slid down his face, for the millionth time in the past week.

*

"Did you suggest to Dawn that we should move here?" Spike demanded as soon as Buffy opened the door. He froze, eyes fixed on Adrian. "God.. what happened?"

The boy had blood pouring out of his nose, soaking his shirt as it dripped down. Buffy was clutching him in her arms, the both of them crying. "Spike.. now's not a good time."

"What happened?" He asked gently, pushing past her so he could get inside. He took Adrian from her and studied the child carefully.

"He.. he.. bashed into a door." Buffy explained feebly.

"I'll fix him up..?" Spike offered, taking him into the kitchen. "Hey little guy. That hurt much?"

Adrian nodded through his storms of tears. Spike grabbed a box of Kleenex and held a wad of tissues to his nose. He glanced at Buffy and smiled at her. "Can you get me some ice in a towel?"

"Ice pack?" She offered it to him questioningly.

"Even better." Noticing the illustration on the pack, Spike grinned at Adrian. "You like Bert and Ernie, huh?"

He smiled, and mumbled through the tissues, "They're funny."

"Why don't I put one of your videos on, honey?" Buffy ruffled his hair and left the room.

"Why did mommy lie?" Adrian asked curiously as Spike replaced the tissues with the ice.

Spike frowned. "What did she lie about?"

"About the door." Adrian whispered, and in an even lower voice, "Daddy did it."

"Your dad did this?" Spike repeated, horrified. "Has he done it before?"

Adrian nodded and burst into tears again. Spike quickly gathered him into his arms and hugged him, whispering, "It's alright. Don't cry."

He wiped the tears away from the boy's face and smiled. "You alright now?"

"I guess."

"Adrian?" Buffy approached him with a smile. "Honey, are you okay now?"

"We'd best get him to bed." Spike smiled down at Adrian. "That good with you, tiger?"

He smiled. "Okay."

"We need to talk." Spike muttered to Buffy as he passed her. "Let's put him to bed first, alright?"

He watched as she tucked Adrian in and turned his Mickey Mouse nightlight on. She kissed him on the forehead, then turned to Spike, tiptoeing over to him.

"You lied to me." He said softly as they went downstairs.

Buffy sighed. "What about?"

"About Adrian. He said that.. Richard.."

"Riley." She supplied tersely.

"Adrian said Riley did it to him. And I reckon he gave you this." Spike touched the fading bruise circling her eye. "Look.."

"This isn't any of your business." Buffy hissed.

"Fine, maybe it isn't." He sighed. "But Dawn.. that's why I came here. She wants to move here."

Buffy smiled. "Really?"

"This isn't a good thing!" Spike snapped, glaring at her. "I wish she'd never found out about you lot! Do you have any idea how hard this is?"

Buffy sat down on the foot of the stairs. "Look.. I know it must be tough.."

"She said she hates me! She said she doesn't want to know me because I'm not her real dad!" He willed the tears stinging his eyes to go away, but they refused. "We used to be so.. close."

As he actually started to cry openly, Buffy pulled him down to sit beside her. "It'll be okay." She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him close. "I promise, Spike. It will be."

He turned his head, and pressed his lips to hers in a soft kiss. It lasted only seconds, but Buffy was left breathless and utterly shocked. Spike smiled at her, and amended, "It will be."

*
 

Chapter 5:

"What are you doing?" Dawn asked curiously as she emerged from her room the next morning. She glanced over her dad's shoulder and shrieked happily, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I love you!"

"I didn't say we're moving yet." Spike grumbled as he flipped through the real estate section in the paper. "I'm just looking. You're up late."

"Yeah.. I was tired. I might go for a walk." Dawn said, smiling at him. "Do you mind?"

He shrugged. "No."

"I'll be back in like, twenty minutes. Then can we have lunch? I just want to see how hole-ish this town really is." She grabbed a jacket from the coat rack and left, humming to herself.

Spike had to admit that Sunnydale did seem like a nice town. There were several houses up for sale that really appealed to him, especially a two-storey one nearby Buffy's house. He smiled to himself, thinking about what had happened the night before. He'd left almost immediately afterwards, not wanting to seem over-bearing.

But he could still feel her, close to him, touching him, soothing all his pain away. Spike made a grab for the phone, but just as he did, someone knocked on the door.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" Spike growled, glaring at the unwanted visitor.

Connor grinned. "I'm here to see Dawn, sir."

"Dawn isn't here." He hissed in reply. "Now you run off back to LA, before I rip your bloody head off. I told you to stay away from her."

"Mr. Michaels, don't be silly." Connor laughed heartily as though he and Spike were the best of friends. "Dawn called me."

Spike glared at him. "You'd better leave now, boy."

The smarmy smile didn't leave Connor's face for even a second. "Can I come back later?"

"No, Dawn and I are going out." Spike slammed the door in Connor's face and locked it, muttering, "Stupid pillock."

*

Dawn returned half an hour later, arms loaded with shopping bags. "Guess what?"

"I don't care." Spike snapped, snatching the bags away from her. "You called Connor."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "So?"

"So, I said I didn't want you seeing him. And I started to consider this moving thing of yours, and as part of that deal, you had to break it off with him."

"Fine, I will." Dawn took the bags back. "Check out what I got."

Too tired to argue anymore, he flopped down on the couch and smiled. "What'd you get?"

"They had this great art shop, and I got really cheap canvases and oil paints." Dawn pulled out the supplies and presented them to him. "I'm going to make Adrian something. And then, they had this really cool jewellry shop, so I got Buffy something."

"That's lovely of you, Nibblet." He studied the necklace Dawn had chosen for Buffy. "I'm sure she'll love it."

"And I got you this." Dawn handed him a small film canister.

"A film?" Spike raised his eyebrows. "It's.. nice."

"I know it's small compared to the other things. But think of what it's for, silly. You can take photos of Buffy and Adrian and me tonight." Dawn grinned. "We can be your new subjects for when we move here."

"If, Bit, if." He smiled at her. "But it might be nice to live here, yeah."

*

"Can I take Adrian upstairs to play?" Dawn asked once they'd finished their pizza.

"Sure." Buffy smiled at Adrian. "You want to play with Dawnie?"

The boy nodded eagerly and clung to Dawn as she led him upstairs.

"He's really taken to her." Buffy said softly.

"Yeah." Spike agreed, leaning in towards her. Buffy was about to protest, but he kissed her before she could speak. She melted into him, wrapping her arms around his neck as he pressed her down against the sofa.

"Wait." She whispered, placing one finger over his mouth. "Dawnie and Adrian could come downstairs.."

"So we'll stop if they do." Spike replied, smiling at her adoringly.

"I have pizza breath." Buffy protested.

"So do I." He started kissing her neck, but she pushed him back.

"You've known me a week." Buffy frowned. "It's too soon. I'm sorry, Spike."

He pulled away, but brought her with him so she could rest in his arms. "So let's get to know each other, pet."

"Actually.. there was something else I wanted to talk about." Buffy smiled up at him. "You know how Dawn wants to move here?"

"Yeah."

"Well.. I know that it's awfully soon.. I'd really like to have her around.." Buffy sighed, trying to compose a proper sentence. "Look. When you guys called, I was scared, and I considered calling and cancelling. I didn't think Dawn would like me the way she seems to, and I didn't think you'd.. well.. you'd have the feelings that you do."

She took a deep breath and continued, picking the photo album of Dawn up off the coffee table as she spoke, "And I didn't think I'd love Dawn the way I do. I thought that to love your child, you'd have to be there for everything, and I haven't. But I was looking through this the other night.. and I just fell in love with her. I need her, here. She's so.."

"I know." Spike smiled. "She's an amazing kid."

Buffy sat up, staring at her hands, knitted together on her knees. "But I know it's asking a lot. I mean, I tell you we can't make out because we haven't known each other a week, but I'm asking you move here for me. What do you think?"

"Nibblet is really keen on it." Spike agreed. "And I'm sick to death of LA. Not just because of the noise and that wanker boyfriend of Dawn's... but I want to make her happy. She doesn't seem happy in LA. And.. I like you."

Buffy couldn't help but smile at that. "It is soon for that though."

"I know."

"And I know that buying a house isn't easy.. so that's why I thought.." Buffy started mumbling, obviously uncomfortable or embarrassed by what she had to say.

"What's that?" Spike asked, a confused frown on his face.

"You could move in with me and Adrian." Buffy glanced up at him to see if he hated the idea, but Spike was smiling at her.

"That'd be great." He grinned. "You sure you're okay with that?"

"Yeah." Buffy nodded eagerly. "I mean, we can have it on a trial basis for a while. Dawn's on break at the moment, isn't she?"

"Three more weeks of it."

"Well.. then you can stay for that long, and if you like Sunnydale, and decide you'd like to move here.. then I can organise a transfer for Dawn. I work at Sunnydale High." She explained quickly. "Would you like to?"

"I'd love to." Spike smiled at her. "Thankyou, luv."

Buffy returned the smile. Okay, you made the right choice. He's a good guy. He'll help out with Adrian, and hopefully Spike can protect us from the likes of Adrian's father..

"I'm just going to check on Dawn and Adrian." She lied, and made a quick escape, darting into the bathroom. She stared into the mirror, glad that the lipstick she was wearing concealed the bruise Riley's forceful lips had left just that morning. Blinking back tears, Buffy reached down and touched her thighs, bruised horrifically, after Riley's attempted attack.

The tears wouldn't hold back anymore.

*

 

Chapter 6:

*

"This'll be your room." Buffy smiled at Dawn. "I thought if you guys do move here, you'll be spending time here and at your dad's.. so we can redecorate sometime soon."

"Cool." Dawn grinned. "He's already looking at houses."


Buffy turned her gaze to Spike. "That's sweet."

Adrian tugged on Buffy's skirt, trying to get her attention. "Can I show Dawn her other room?"

"Oh. Of course, honey." Buffy grinned at Dawn. "Your dad said you might need a place to paint and stuff, so I cleaned out the basement. You know, it's all quiet down there, it might be nice."

"Thanks." Dawn took Adrian's hand. "Wanna show me?"

He pulled her downstairs, happily explaining what they'd done to set up the basement. Spike smiled at her. "That's sweet of you, luv."

He leant down and brushed his lips against her cheek, whispering, "Can I just tell you how beautiful you look today?"

Buffy blushed bright red and quickly ducked her head. "Thankyou. Um.. this is your room.."

She led him down the hall and opened the door. "It used to be a study, so it's kind of small. Do you mind?"

"No." He smiled at her. "It's great."

"When were you thinking of moving in?" Buffy asked, sitting down on the edge of the king-sized bed.

Spike went and sat beside her, a look of uneasiness appearing on his face. "Well.. when I told Dawn, she insisted we move in as soon as possible. So.. our stuff's in the car."

Buffy burst out laughing. "She has to get her way, doesn't she?"

Spike nodded. "But then again, I told her that I wouldn't let her unless she broke it off with Connor. She did that this morning."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I was suprised too." He rolled his eyes. "But apparently I ruined her life."

Buffy frowned. "She seems fine now. Maybe it's the whole teenagey-girl thing with the moods. Then again, Adrian's a handful."

Spike shrugged. "I don't get it. Maybe having you around will help."

"So we'll help each other with the whole parenting things?" Buffy smiled winningly at him. She couldn't think of a better way to say it, except, Please protect me from my ex-boyfriend and make sure he never touches me or my son again. And that seemed a little blunt.

He took her hand in his and squeezed it. "Sure."

*

"I taught Adrian to paint." Dawn announced proudly as she came upstairs with him. "It's still drying, but he wants to hang it up on his wall."

"We used canfess." Adrian ran to Buffy and grabbed at her legs, leaving sticky paint marks on her black skirt. "Oops."

"That'll come out." Dawn said anxiously, picking the boy up. "Let's get you washed up. I'm sorry.."

"It's alright." Buffy grimaced. "Hey.. it's creative."

Adrian ran back into the kitchen with clean hands. "Can we go to the park?"

Buffy sighed, and started, "Oh, honey, I'm tired-"

"We can take him." Spike offered. "Give you some peace. We took up your whole day unpacking after all."

"Adrian?" Buffy knelt down in front of him and kissed the tip of his nose softly. "Do you want Dawnie and Spike to take you to the park?"

Adrian nodded eagerly.

"Get your jacket." Buffy reminded him. "And behave for Spike."

"Okay!" Adrian ran from the room, tugging Dawn behind him. They returned with his jacket.

"Alright, let's go." Spike smiled at Buffy. "I'll have him back in one piece, don't worry."

"Okay." She watched as they left, slightly angry with herself for not going. He's your son.. she's your daughter.. and that's the best guy you've ever met. What's wrong with going to the park with them?

She went upstairs and shut herself in the bathroom, quickly stripping out of her skirt. She studied the paint stains and quickly tossed it in the basin, deciding it would come out easily.

She turned the shower on, and just as she was getting in, cold hands hit her waist. A scream rose in her throat, but a firm hand slapped it's way over her mouth. Riley pushed her against the floor, digging his nails into her shoulder-blades hard enough to draw blood. This gave her the chance to scream, but there was nobody to hear it.

*

"See? You can photograph that, and that, and that.. and that!" Dawn pointed to several locations around the park, finally landing on Adrian who was playing with two other boys around his age. "God, isn't he cute?"

Spike smiled at her. "You're not going to let it rest, are you?"

"I like Adrian, I like Buffy, and I like this town." Dawn shrugged. "I just think that it would be a nice change to LA."

He was silent for a while. In LA, the traffic was thick, noisy, and he hated it. Here, it was peaceful. In LA, Dawn was unhappy, whereas she'd obviously fallen in love with Sunnydale. And if they weren't in LA, Connor wouldn't be a problem anymore.

And then there was Buffy. Beautiful, sweet, enchanting Buffy. Spike smiled to himself, the very thought of her delighting him.

"We'll drive up to LA sometime next week and get the rest of our stuff." He said quietly, watching Adrian slide down the curving red slide. The boy shrieked happily and waved at Spike.

Dawn stared at him, completely shocked. "Huh?"

"I like it here too." He replied, getting up to go and play with Adrian, his thoughts again turning to Adrian's mother. "I love it here."

*

Buffy sobbed against the cold tiles as Riley pulled away, satisfied.

"Good girl." He whispered, his hot breath harsh against her skin as he leant down to kiss her. "Don't breathe a word of this to anyone, you hear? You do and I'll kill you."

Another loud, tortured sob escaped her and he growled. "But first.. I'll make you watch me kill that little shit. You don't breathe a word, sweetheart. Not a word."

*
 

Chapter 7:

"We're home!" Spike called out as he unlocked the front door. "Dawn, go get Adrian washed up, alright?"

He went upstairs in search of Buffy, trying to ignore the eerie silence filling the house. Spike tapped gently on her bedroom door. "Luv? You in there?"

He heard a soft reply and entered cautiously. Buffy was lying in bed, her back facing him, her quiet sobs finally breaking the tense silence. "Sweetheart? What's wrong?"

Buffy turned to him and smiled weakly. "Nothing. I'm fine."

"You're crying." He rushed to her side and touched her face gently, suprised when Buffy yanked away.

"Please. I'm fine." Buffy gave a shaky breath and smiled at him again. "How was the park?"

"Adrian got in a bit of a mess, he tripped into a puddle of mud." Spike chuckled. "He thought it was great fun."

"That's great." Buffy said softly, staring at Spike longingly. All she wanted to do was jump into his arms and let him hold her and protect her forever.

"Luv, are you sure you're alright?" He placed a hand on her forehead and sighed. "You're burning up, you must be ill."

"Y-yeah." Buffy agreed slowly. "I haven't been feeling so good."

"You get into bed properly." He ordered, stroking her hair away from her slightly sweaty face. "I'll get you some tea, luv."

He quickly propped her pillows up against the headboard so she could rest against them. Buffy laid back and took a deep breath, wishing the huge rock in her throat would disappear. Her legs weren't aching as though someone had smashed them with a sledgehammer, and the throbbing in her head wasn't much better.

Just tell him!, a little voice in her head screamed. He'll help you.

Spike returned moments later carrying a tray with a cup of tea and buttered toast. Buffy smiled, "Thanks."

"Anything else you need, kitten?" He took her hand and kissed it softly.

"Just.. stay. Keep me company." Buffy took a tiny bite of the toast and shut her eyes to savour the taste. "This is good."

"Why don't I bring the TV up?" Spike offered. "We can watch a movie or something."

*

The movie idea lasted well up until a point. Buffy asked Spike to lie next to her, and she ended up cocooned safely in his arms, finally at peace. Spike held her close, gently caressing her until all the tension left her. It was the closest he'd ever felt to anyone, and he never wanted it to end.

It was when a sex scene came on that she wrenched her way out of his arms and ran from the room in a panic. He shut the TV off and followed her into the bathroom, where Buffy threw up violently into the toilet bowl, tears streaming down her face. Spike pulled her hair away and waited for her to finish, a damp towel ready. He dabbed her flushed face with it, and quickly filled a glass with cold water. "Drink this."

She sipped at it slowly, trying to calm the storms of tears escaping her. He scooped her up and carried her back into the bedroom, lying her down on the bed. "You get some sleep, luv."

She rested her head against the pillow and gazed up at him sadly.

"You'll be alright, princess." He kissed her on the forehead softly, smiling at her. "I promise."

He was half-way out the door when she said dismally, "You can't keep that."

Spike frowned. "I can't keep what?"

"That promise." Buffy turned away from him, burying her face in the pillow. She wanted to sleep, she wanted to rest for a thousand years, but images of Riley kept filling her head. With every image came a jolt of fear to her heart, and she knew there was every chance she wouldn't get a second of rest for the next thousand years.

*

"How's Buffy?" Dawn asked curiously as Spike came down into the basement the next morning.

"She's still not well. I think it's a flu." He sat on the bottom step, watching as Dawn painted. Adrian sat on the floor beside her, playing with a Barbie. "Why's he got a Barbie?"

Dawn shrugged. "It's one of my old ones."

"He's a boy." Spike pointed out. "What are you painting?"


"Us. All of us." Dawn leaned back and gazed at the painting. "You and Buffy, me and Adrian."

He smiled, admiring her work so far. "That's great, Nibblet."

"Thanks." Her head perked up as the doorbell sounded. "Wonder who that is?"

Spike got up and climbed the basement stairs. He went to the front door and opened it. Riley glared at him. "Where's the kid?"

"You mean Adrian?" Spike shrugged. "He went to a friend's house."

"Can I see Buffy?" He sneered, glancing past Spike.

"No. She's not well."

"Okay." Riley shrugged and started walking away.

"Did you hit Adrian?" Spike asked, anger rising into his tone as he saw a smirk appear on Riley's face.

"So what if I did? Kids need discipline."

"What exactly did Adrian do?" Spike growled.

"That's none of your goddamned business." Riley snapped as he got into his car. "Tell the bitch I'll be back."

"Don't talk about her like that." Spike warned, but Riley had already started the engine.

He slammed the front door shut and started angrily upstairs. He burst into Buffy's room and went to shake her awake. Buffy cried out in shock and bolted upright, glaring at him. "What the hell.. do you mind?"

"I want you to go to the police." Spike said, quietly but firmly.

"What are you talking about?" Buffy asked, scared for a moment he knew what had happened.

"Riley. I don't want him anywhere near you or Adrian anymore. I don't want him to hurt you, princess. Please, just go to the police."

"I can't." She said icily and turned away from him.

"Then I will." Spike said.

He got up but was almost pushed to the floor when Buffy flew into his arms. "Please, don't. He'll hurt me again, Spike, please.. don't.. god, don't.."

"What do you mean?" Spike demanded. "What did he do to you?"

"Nothing." Buffy whispered sadly.

"He did do something, please tell m-"

"NOTHING!" She yelled. "He didn't do anything. Please. Just believe me."

Spike pulled her close and held her to him. "If he ever hurt you, I'll kill him."

The little voice, the one from her heart, screamed, Tell him. Let him hold you and love you and heal you. You know he can.

But the one in her head, the one who knew Riley and the way he worked, the one that knew she'd never be safe no matter what Spike had to do with it, whispered, He won't understand. He may care, but he'll do the wrong thing and get Riley all angry again. So just shut up.

She whimpered, burying herself in his embrace.

Just shut the fuck up.

*
 

Chapter 8:

Spike woke to Adrian tugging on his arm, shouting, "Dawnie got what Mommy got."

"What's that, Bit?" Spike ruffled the little boy's hair, yawning as he sat up.

"Dawnie's sick." Adrian said solemnly.

"Christ." Spike got out of bed and went into the bathroom where Dawn was throwing up. Buffy was kneeling down beside her, hugging her to soothe her. "Is she alright?"

"It started half an hour ago." Buffy said softly, caressing Dawn's long chestnut locks of hair. "Honey? You okay now?"

Dawn shook her head and went over to the sink to wash her mouth out. Buffy glanced at Spike and Adrian and smiled. "Adrian, can you go play downstairs? I don't want you getting sick."


"You okay, Nibblet?" Spike put his arm around her.

"No." She whimpered sadly.

"You need to rest." Buffy said and they went back into Dawn's bedroom. "We'll look after you today, okay? Just rest."

"But we were going to go into LA." Dawn whined as Buffy forced her back into bed.

"I'll go, luv. You can't go anywhere like this." Spike grabbed another quilt from the armchair and threw it over her.

"But I wanted to see M.. I mean, um.. Cecily.. her grave... for the last time."

"It's okay to call her your mom." Buffy said, smiling at her reassuringly.

"It's not going to be the last time. I'll take you another weekend, okay? But I've organized it with the movers and all, Bit, I have to go."

Dawn nodded. "Okay."


"I'd actually better get moving soon." Spike said and kissed Dawn on the forehead. "You get better, sweetheart."

Buffy smiled at her and followed him out of the room. "Umm.. I know it might be a lot to ask.. but Dawn's sick.. and could you take Adrian? He'd love to see the city, and I just don't want him catching anything."

"Yeah, that'd be okay." Spike smiled. "So you're feeling better?"

"A bit." Buffy returned the smile awkwardly. "It's like.. two hours in a car with a kid, though. You're okay with that?"

Spike nodded. "He's a good kid."

Buffy leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks."

*

An hour later, she waved Spike and Adrian goodbye from the doorstep. Buffy turned around and found Dawn watching her from the foot of the stairs. "Honey, you should be in bed!"

"I need to talk to you." Dawn said softly, her eyes filled with tears.

"Okay, but let's go upstairs where it's warm." Buffy led Dawn back upstairs. "Come on, we'll go in my room and watch TV."

"Okay." Dawn happily climbed into bed with Buffy and smiled nervously at her. "This is kind of big. And in a minute you'll know why I came to you."

Buffy smiled. "What's up?"

"I'm not sick." Dawn stared down at the doona, tears sliding down her face. "Um.. the thing is.. um.."

She burst into tears, and through her sobs, moaned, "I'm pregnant."

Buffy's eyes went wide and she found it hard to breathe. She remembered this conversation with her mom, and knew exactly what Dawn wanted to hear. She wrapped her arms around her daughter's shuddering frame and whispered, "It'll be okay, honey. It'll be fine. I promise."

Her mother had started screaming, about irresponsibility, stupidity and hormones. It had been absolutely horrible to listen to, and Buffy remembered actually taking a knife to her wrists in the hope of ending it all.

"It won't." Dawn sobbed. "What'll dad say?"

"He'll be upset, sure. But I promise, honey, it'll be fine. We'll sort things out." Buffy planted a tiny kiss on her forehead. "Okay?"

"Mmm-hmm." Dawn agreed, snuggling into Buffy's arms. "Thanks.. mom."

Buffy smiled. "Wow."

"Well, you are." Dawn said, matter-of-factly.

"How long've you known?" Buffy asked gently.

"I'm a few weeks late, and then today, the whole gross morning sickness started. Was it this bad for you?"

Buffy shrugged. "It's totally gross. But mine came in the evening, rather than the morning. I wanted to know why, but my mom wouldn't tell me anything. I was kind of left on my own."

"I will be when dad finds out." Dawn said dismally. "He hated Connor and he had no idea that we were.."

"Yeah." Buffy helped Dawn sit up. "Look.. let's cheer you up. A movie and some chocolate icecream? I loved that when I was pregnant with Adrian."

Dawn nodded sadly. Buffy wrapped her arms around Dawn and whispered, "It will be okay, honey. I'll make sure it is for my little girl."

*

It was almost 8:30 when Spike and Adrian returned home. Buffy ran to greet them at the front door and hugged both of them, determined to keep Spike in a good mood for as long as possible. "How was LA?"

"Good. The movers will be here tomorrow at 7.. is that too early?" He kissed her on the cheek and nodded his head at Adrian. "This little guy needs a good night's rest. I'll get him upstairs, eh?"

"Okay." Buffy smiled at him. "Umm.. come back down into the family room in a minute, okay? Dawn needs to talk to you."

"She alright?" Spike peered past Buffy. Dawn was sitting on the sofa, knotting her hands together. "Nibblet?"

She flashed a nervous smile at him. "Hi."

"I'll be down in a minute." He smiled at her and hurried Adrian upstairs.

"It'll be okay." Buffy said, sitting beside Dawn.

"You realise it's like the fiftieth time you've said that today?" Dawn giggled anxiously. "What if he hates me?"

"He won't hate you." Buffy said firmly, clutching Dawn's hand in hers. "But I hate the fact I'm only 30 and I'm gonna be a grandma."

Dawn laughed softly as Spike came back downstairs. "What's going on?"

Dawn remained silent, simply too scared to talk. Buffy motioned for Spike to sit down beside them, and as he did, she started for Dawn. "Okay. Dawn has something important she has to tell you."

"Please don't hate me." Dawn blurted out tearfully, and buried her face in her hands.

Horrified, Spike wrapped his arms around her. "Nibblet, what's wrong? Tell me."

"I.. I.." Dawn started choking on her words, afraid for a moment she'd be sick again. "Daddy, I'm sorry."

"For what?" He asked gently, holding her close. "Come on, it can't be that bad."

"I'm pregnant." Dawn whispered shamefully, and he released her as though she'd burnt him.

Spike jumped off the couch and glared at her. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"I'm sorry." She whimpered. "Please.."

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Spike yelled, turning to Buffy. "Does it run in your family or something?"

Buffy recoiled, stung. She felt close to tears herself now. "Spike, come on."

"Did that little shit do this to you?" Spike demanded, grabbing Dawn roughly.

"He didn't mean to." Dawn insisted. "This was an accident."

"You're fifteen." He hissed. He gazed down at her, a sad look coming into his eyes, and he repeated in disgust, "You're fifteen."

He glared at Buffy one final time and stormed out the house, slamming the door behind him. Dawn dissolved into tears again.

*
 

Chapter 9:

Buffy waited up for Spike, at Dawn's desperate request. She was afraid he wouldn't come home, or get hurt, and since it was late, Buffy sent Dawn to bed and promised she'd look out for her father.


He returned just past midnight, still as angry as he'd been when he'd left. Buffy got up and watched as he stumbled through the front door, exhausted, yet none the less furious. He stopped in his tracks and glared at her. "What do you want?"

"I want to talk to you." Buffy grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the sofa. "I know you're upset. That's perfectly understandable. But the way you acted was horrible. Dawn didn't deserve that. Dawn hates herself for making this mistake. She's terrified right now, and she needs her father to be there for her."

"He probably raped her." Spike muttered, clutching his head in his hands. "She'd never.. he must have."

"Dawn wasn't raped, Spike. She loved Connor and she just wanted to.." Buffy paused, suddenly aware of the fact Spike didn't want to hear this. But for some reason he was making her really angry. "She wasn't raped. You'd know if something like that had happened."

"She's not having this baby and that's that." Spike glanced at Buffy. "Did she say anything about that?"

Buffy frowned at him. "Dawn is having the baby. She doesn't want an abortion and when I asked if she might give it up for adoption I don't think she knew how to answer. I can't see her giving it up in any way."

"She's too young." Spike said softly, and to Buffy's shock, started to cry. She pulled him into her arms and hugged him, whispering,

"I know it's hard. It'll be okay."

"I'm sorry for what I said." He whispered. "I didn't mean to hurt you like that."

"You were upset, it's okay." Buffy sighed. "You aren't going to put Connor in jail or anything, are you? Dawn was really worried about that."

"I should." Spike said softly, staring at the floor. He was silent for a while, then added quietly, "It is technically rape."

"He didn't rape her!" Buffy cried angrily. "If Dawn had been raped.. she wouldn't be bright and chirpy like she is! Rape victims aren't like that! It's one of the most horrible things you can experience, having your body invaded like that, and-"

"How would you know?" Spike asked curiously, staring at her as Buffy stood there, tears streaming down her face. "Did something happen to you?"

He stood up and grabbed her, but Buffy wrenched away. "Don't. Please, don't."

"What did he do to you?" Spike demanded, pulling her right to him.

Buffy whimpered and tried to pull away. Spike loosened his grip a little and touched her face gently. "Princess, please. Tell me what he did."

Buffy sat down and pulled her dressing gown away to reveal the bruises decorating her legs. Tears slipped down her face as she spoke, and in a whisper, she said, "He came here when you took Adrian and Dawnie out. He's tried it before, but I've always fought him off. This time.. I guess I just didn't have a chance."

Spike sat beside her and pulled her into his arms. He pressed a tiny kiss to her temple and whispered, "I'm so sorry."

"Some days I wake up feeling better," Buffy admitted softly. "But then I look in the mirror and I see the bruises and I.. god, they hurt. It hurts. Everything just fucking hurts."

Spike continued holding her and planting soft kisses on her shoulders and neck to soothe her. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to. I wanted you to hold me and love me and make it all better.. but I was scared." Buffy sobbed as she spoke, clinging onto him desperately. "I just feel so dirty. I can still feel him on me, Spike."

"Okay." He picked her up, scooping her into his arms as though she were a child. "C'mere. I'll make it better."

He took her upstairs, into the bathroom, and undressed her until she was only in her underwear. Spike sat her down on the edge of the bathtub and ran a wet wash-cloth over the purple marks on her legs. He gazed at her lovingly while doing so, making Buffy feel completely naked, yet completely safe.

Spike grabbed a bottle of vanilla lotion and rubbed it over the bruises to soothe them after the hot touch of the water. Once the lotion was rubbed in, he collected Buffy into his arms again and carried her into her bedroom. Spike pulled back the covers and laid Buffy beneath them. "That better?"

She nodded, a shy smile playing on her lips. Spike leant down and kissed her softly, and promised, "You're safe now."

Buffy snuggled down under the covers, and for the first time in weeks, had a peaceful night's sleep. No nightmares of Riley existed, just heavenly dreams of her blonde knight in shining armour.

*

"Hey." Dawn said softly as she came into the kitchen the next morning. "The movers are here, huh?"

Spike nodded without looking up from the newspaper.

She sat beside him and smiled hopefully. "Dad? Can we talk?"

"Not yet." He muttered, sipping his coffee slowly.

Dawn's face fell and she felt like crying, and asked in a wobbly voice, "Why not?"

"Because I'm still angry at you." He replied in an empty voice, staring at the paper, though not taking any notice as to what was on the page.

"Did you expect me to have a white wedding or something?" Dawn snapped, snatching the paper away from him.

"No, I expected you to have some bloody common sense." Spike tried to take it back and it ripped in half. He glared at her. "And of all people, Connor had to be the bloody father."

"Would you rather I didn't know who it was?" Dawn shrieked, her desire to make amends with him gone. Now she just wanted to whack him across the face, and that hurt her more than anything.

"I'd rather you hadn't gone sleeping around with that git!" Spike shouted back. "You're fifteen."

"What's so bad about it?"

"It's irresponsible, unbelievable, and illegal, to name a few things!"

"Like you waited for that long!"

"I bloody well did!"

"Janice started when she was 13! And she had an abortion at 14!"

Spike fell silent for a moment, shocked by this revelation. "Do her parents know about this?"

"They don't need to." Dawn glared at him. "I swear to God, if you tell them.."

"What, you'll go and shag Connor again?"

"See, this is why I told Buffy first! She understands it!" Dawn fixed him with an icy look. "I'm not giving this baby up. There's no way I'd ever have an abortion, and I'd never have it adopted either."

He rolled his eyes. "Why, because you had such a hard run of it?"

"No, because I found out my favourite person in the whole world was lying to me all my life." Dawn retaliated angrily. "That really hurt."

"You don't think you telling me you hate me every five seconds hurts me? You think finding out you're pregnant doesn't hurt?" Spike was trying hard to keep a strong resolve, but he was cracking more with every word. "I couldn't have kids, Dawn. And when your mother suggested bloody adopting a kid, I couldn't think of anything worse. I only wanted someone that was mine. But when we got you.. it was like you were mine. You were amazing. I never wanted to tell you that you weren't, because I knew it would hurt you, and destroy everything we had."

Dawn stared at the floor, tears sliding down her face. "I'm sorry."

"I know." Spike took her hand and squeezed it gently, placing his other one on her stomach. "I know you want this baby, Nibblet. But it's just not right. You're too young, and it's not fair on you, or the kid."

"I know. But I can't.. I can't give it up. I'm sorry, but I can't. I want to keep it. I really do. And I'm going to."

"It's your decision." He said quietly, yet she could still sense how disappointed and angry he really was. She burst into tears and fell into his arms, repeating over and over,

"I'm sorry, dad. I'm so sorry."

*

 

Chapter 10:

Buffy woke and found Spike staring at her intently, a small, sad smile on his face. She sat up and frowned at him. "You know.. that's kind of creepy."

"Dawn wants to keep the baby." He said in a tiny voice, making it obvious he was very close to crying.

"Oh." Buffy took a moment to think about this and then patted the space in the bed beside her. "Come here."

He slid into bed beside her and she drew him close, holding him tenderly. Spike choked back tears and whispered, "This is going to ruin her life. I know that sounds horrible, but it will."

"It's her decision, though." Buffy said softly, running her hands through his hair. "If this is what she wants.. then.."

"Yeah." He sighed angrily. "But she's making a mistake. Why can't she see that?"

Buffy shrugged. "Kids are pretty idealistic. At her age, she just sees this baby as something to love and care for, not a huge, screaming, attention-craving responsibility."

"I'm taking her to the doctor." He smiled at her. "Can you come? I need you there."

"Moral support?" Buffy guessed. "Sure."

*

"I told you, I don't need to go to a crummy doctor." Dawn slumped down in the backseat and glared at Spike in the mirror. "I've taken like ten EPT's."

"EP-whatta's?" Spike turned to Buffy cluelessly.

"Emergency Pregnancy Tests." She explained softly.

"Duh." Dawn ruffled Adrian's hair and smiled at him. "We'll play trains when we get back, okay?"

Spike pulled into the carpark and looked back at Dawn. "Come on, Nibblet. She's a specialist for pregnant women. It's not going to be that bad."

"I. Don't. Want. To." She said firmly.

"And I don't want you to be pregnant, but you are." Spike glared at her. "Come on."

"Why is Dawnie sick?" Adrian asked loudly as they walked into the doctor's office. Spike headed straight to the desk to speak to the receptionist, leaving Dawn and Buffy to answer Adrian's bold question that had drawn the unwanted attention of several other pregant women.

"Dawn's just.." Buffy sighed and smiled sympathetically at Dawn. "She's not really sick, honey. We'll explain it later."

Spike came and sat beside Dawn, who was still sulking. "Dr. Rosenberg will see you soon, pet."

She glared at him. "I've taken the tests. I know I'm pregnant."

"I want a doctor to see to it." Spike replied with as much patience as he could muster.

"It's not a disease." Dawn snapped.

"Hormones are kicking in, huh?" A red-haired women smiled down at Dawn. "Hey Dawn, I'm Willow."

She offered Dawn her hand but Dawn remained icy. "I don't need a doctor."

"It's a good idea, though." Willow grinned. "Come on, I have chocolates in my office. And magazines."

"Fine." Dawn got up and followed Willow down the hall.

Buffy came and sat beside Spike. "I left Adrian over there in the little play pen. Now talk."

He looked at her cluelessly. "Talk? What about?"

"You've looked grumpy all morning. Is it your fight with Dawn?"

Spike looked at her, his face crumpling with guilt. "You heard that, huh?"

"Kind of." Buffy shrugged, an embarrassed smile on her face.

"It's not really that. I've had millions of fights with her." He sighed. "She's making the wrong decision. I don't want her to have this stupid kid, let alone keep it."

"But you said you don't believe in abortion."

"I don't believe in fifteen year old girls having children!" Spike retaliated furiously. "But I told her I'd respect whatever decision she made."

"That probably didn't include stupid ones, huh?" Buffy giggled, wishing he'd laugh too. But Spike just remained angry and withdrawn, and all she could do was hold his hand to comfort him, hoping it would do some good.

*

Dawn emerged with Willow half an hour later, a small smile on her face. Willow approached Spike and Buffy and smiled down at them. "Okay, everything looks great. She's eighteen weeks into it, and I'm fairly sure everything's healthy, but I would like an ultrasound done just to be sure. We've just run out of time today."

"Eighteen weeks?" Spike stared at Dawn in disbelief.

Buffy was equally confused. "You aren't showing yet, though."

Dawn blushed, and lifted her shirt up a little, to reveal a tiny bump. Buffy gasped, and placed her hand on Dawn's slightly rounded stomach in awe. "This is amazing."

"I've been wearing loose clothes." Dawn said quietly. "And I still had periods. I didn't know for ages, but Willow said it's normal."

Spike got up and glanced at Willow. "How much do I owe you?"

"Minimum consultation fee, you can pay at the counter." They went over to the receptionist to pay.

Dawn gazed after him sadly. Buffy took her hand and smiled. "He'll come around, honey."

"He hates me." Dawn said sadly.

"No, he doesn't." Buffy stood up and hugged Dawn. "Honey.. it'll be okay. And can I just say, you look absolutely beautiful."

Spike returned, Adrian in his arm, and he said softly, "You're coming back tomorrow for an ultrasound. Let's get out of here, Adrian's hungry."

He walked ahead of Buffy and Dawn to the car, the same look on his face that had been there for days, as though he was sad and angry at the same time. Dawn had described it as his 'sulky' look, whereas Buffy thought the only word for it was heartbroken.

*

"Hey." Buffy entered Spike's room cautiously. He was stretched out on his bed, staring up at the ceiling blankly. "You didn't show up for dinner."

"Not hungry." He muttered.

"Want to talk?" She sat beside him on the bed and put her hand on his knee, stroking it gently.

"Not about Dawn." He said dismally.

"Okay. But you've been in your room for a whole day now, if it gets to be any more than that, we're talking. No arguments." Buffy leant down and kissed him on the cheek. "I just wanted to thank you.. for what you did the other night."

He rolled onto his side and smiled at her gently. "Just wanted to help, princess. You feeling better?"

"A lot, especially after what you did." She snuggled up to him. "Dawnie should be home soon."

"Where'd she go?" Spike asked curiously.

"The doctor's."

"Alone?" He sat up. "I would have taken her."

"She wanted to go alone, so I let her catch a cab." Buffy kissed him softly. "Now.. we can be alone. I can thank you properly."

She moved on top of him and deepened the kiss, running her hands over his body. She broke away and whispered, "You feel good."

"You feel bloody amazing." Spike flipped her onto her back and kissed her passionately, not even noticing the front door open and shut with a loud slam.

"Spike." Buffy pulled away from him, noticing a shocked Dawn watching them from the hall.

"Oh, christ." Spike swallowed and wiped a trace of Buffy's lipstick from his lip.

"Don't worry, go back to making out." Dawn said tearfully, glaring at them. "Just be the happy couple, don't worry about me. Me and my stupid baby."

"What's wrong?" Buffy asked gently, still trying to disentangle herself from Spike.

"Willow says my baby might have a defect." Dawn spat out, her river of tears turning into a storm. She stormed into her room and slammed the door shut, but through it she screamed, "And I might have to have an abortion!"

Spike jumped up and went to her door. "Nibblet, let me in. C'mon."

"Go away. You wanted this. You wanted my baby gone." Dawn threw the door open and glowered at him. "And the only reason you let me stay with my mom is because you wanted her for yourself. So go to hell, William. I hate you."

*
 

Chapter 11:

Spike left Dawn alone until the morning, possibly for sheer fear of having to hear her tell him she hated him again. Buffy had offered him a key to get in, and as well as he knew it would infuriate Dawn, he unlocked her door at eight o'clock the next morning.

She wasn't asleep, and he was sure she hadn't been for the majority of the night. She gave him a tiny smile and said, "Hey."

"Hey." He went and sat beside her. "How are you?"

"Okay." She shrugged. "Okay, not really. Kind of awful."

Spike put his arm around her and said gently, "Tell me what happened? Please, sweetheart."

"Willow did an ultra-sound, and she said there were a lot of things wrong." Dawn blinked back tears. "Apparently by now the baby's bones should have developed more than they have, and she's just too small to be healthy."

"She?"

"It's a girl." Dawn burst into tears.

"It'll be alright." He said softly, holding her close as she wept.

"I want her more than anything." Dawn said softly, staring up at him. "Is that so wrong?"

"Of course not, pet." He blinked back tears. "Look.. we'll go see Willow, and we'll find out what can be done."

"She said the baby might not live long if she was born." Dawn swallowed hard and said softly, "I think I should have an abortion."

"You don't believe in it, though." He reminded her gently.

She breathed a ragged breath and whispered, "But I don't want the baby to hurt. And I don't want to have it if it's going to be unhealthy. And you're right, I am too young... I mean, I couldn't give it anything, could I?"

He nodded. "I want you to make the right decision by you, Nibblet."

"I think that it might be the right one." Dawn said softly, staring into space.

"Well, I want you to know, so you think about it, okay? I mean, really think about it, pet." He kissed her on the forehead and smiled. "I'll respect whatever you do, Bit."

"Thanks." She watched as he got up and walked over to the door. "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm kind of happy for you and Buffy." She smiled at him. "It's cute."

"Thanks, sweetheart. I'll give you some peace now." He shut the door and bumped into Buffy.

She leaned up and kissed him softly. "How is she?"

"She's considering an abortion. I'm going to call Willow later and talk to her properly about it." Spike sighed. "Did I push her into this?"

"No." Buffy smiled. "Um.. you got this in the mail."

She handed him an envelope and he tore it open. "Brilliant."

"What is it?" She peered over his shoulder at it. "A photography convention?"

He nodded. "They hold one every year, apparently this year it's in Boston."

"Are you going to go?"

He made a face. "They're always a bunch of pretentious gits, luv."

"But I'd like to go to Boston." Buffy said, sliding her arms around his waist. "It could be a little holiday. When is it?"

"Two weeks." He smiled down at her. "You'd really like to go?"

She nodded, planting tiny kisses up and down his chest. "It'd be nice. I have to take a shower, okay?"

*

Buffy stepped out of the shower, dripping wet, and found herself confronted with a mirror. Instantly the bruises on her thighs stood out, black against her creamy skin.

"Ugly." She whispered, tracing her fingers over the dark marks. "He'll never want you."

Buffy swallowed hard, her head spinning at the realization that the words she was speaking were Riley's, and not her own. She backed against the tiled wall and breathed heavily, trying to rid herself of the dizzying feelings consuming her.

A soft rap came at the door. "Luv? Can I come in?"

"Sure, just a sec." Buffy grabbed her panties and her t-shirt and quickly put them on. She unlocked the door and let Spike in, smiling brightly at him.

"Why're you smiling at me like that?" He asked curiously as he went to the basin to wash his hands.

"Why are your hands blue?" Buffy stared at the blue water falling down the drain.

"I was painting with Adrian." He smiled. "That's a gorgeous kid you've got there."

"Mm-hm." Buffy sat down on the edge of the bathtub and found herself staring at the bruises again.

Spike knelt in front of her and gazed up at her. "These'll get better."

"Yeah."

"Buffy..." He paused for a minute. "I'll take you to Boston, okay? I'll get us a beautiful suite in a five-star hotel, and we'll have a great weekend away."

"Okay." She smiled at him.

"If you do one thing for me."


Buffy's face fell slightly. "What?"

"Go to the police. Tell them what that bastard's done to you and Adrian, and get him put away. Okay?"

She blinked back tears and glared at him. "I told you no. They'll think I'm crazy, there's no evidence."

"There's this." Spike traced one finger over her scars. "And I have photos of Adrian when the bruises are still fresh."

"I can't-"

"You can." He stood up and pulled her into his arms. "You have to, sweetheart. To do the right thing by you and Adrian."

"Promise you'll be there for me." Buffy said, a lump rising in her throat.

"I will be." He kissed her and whispered, "I love you, princess."

*

It was past 11 when Dawn came downstairs, her face red and blotchy from crying constantly. Spike was asleep on the couch, cozily resting in Buffy's arms. She shook him awake gently as Dawn came to sit beside them. Buffy took her hand gently.

"What's up, Bit?" He asked through a yawn.

"I think I should see Willow soon, and talk to her about how bad the baby's condition is. If it's really as awful as it sounded, I'm going to have an abortion." Her words were empty, her face blank. A heavy, unsure tension hung in the air.

Buffy gave Dawn's hand a little squeeze. "Are you-"

"Don't. Just.. don't." Dawn got up and left the room.

"She wasn't even crying." Spike said in disbelief.

"Maybe she's cried all she wants for now." Buffy shrugged. "Maybe it's just too hard right now to even think about crying."

"She was totally empty." Spike put his head in his hands, trying to make sense of everything.

But there wasn't any more time for questions.

*

 

Chapter 12:

*

She actually went through with it. This thought kept repeating itself in his head, haunting him with it's relentless echo. Spike sat outside the hospital room and took several deep breaths to calm himself.

Spike jumped up as soon as Willow emerged from Dawn's room. She smiled sadly at him. "We're going to have to keep her here, Mr. Michaels."

"Is she alright?" He jumped up and was about to go into the room when Willow grabbed his arm.

"She had a panic attack." Willow said softly, avoiding his gaze. "She was fine during the procedure, but afterwards, she started hyperventalating and screaming."

Spike frowned. "I didn't hear.."

"It's a sound-proofed room, a lot of our patients don't fare well. It's disturbing to visitors and others to hear them." Willow took a deep breath. "I'm going to keep her here, possibly for a few days, so she can be counselled and return to proper health. Is that okay?"

Spike nodded. "Can I see her?"

Willow blushed. "She asked that nobody comes in to see her."

"I'm her father." He snapped impatiently. "I want to see my daughter."

"She asked that you leave." Willow kept her eyes trained on the floor, too scared to look at him. Without even seeing his face, she could feel how hurt he was.

"Fine." Spike picked up the bouquet of roses from the chair. "Give her these?"

"I will." Willow smiled at him. "I'm sure if she needs you, she'll call. We'll take her to a private room soon, and it might be nice if she has some personal possessions to make her feel at home."

"I'll get it here within an hour." He sighed to himself and left the hospital, his mind again haunted, this time tainted by horrible thoughts of Dawn and the pain she must be feeling.

*

"She went through with it." He said softly to Buffy as he returned home, not noticing her distress. He started up the stairs, and went into Dawn's room. He packed her quilt, soft toys, magazines and lollies into her prized possession, a Louis Vuitton bag that used to be her mother's.

He returned downstairs quickly and finally noticed Buffy was crying. He dropped the bag and rushed to her side, panicked. "What's wrong?"

"He did it again." Buffy choked on her words and dragged Spike upstairs. "He came and attacked Adrian."

"Oh, fuck." Spike stared down at the sleeping child, his face completely discoloured with bruises. "Come on, we're going to the police."

He ran downstairs and grabbed the phone, dialling the police quickly. "I need to report an attack."

Buffy watched him from the foot of the stairs, as he spoke quickly and angrily to the policeman on the other end of the line. Finally, he hung up and turned to face her. "They'll be here in ten minutes."

She jumped into his arms and hugged him. "God, thankyou."

"S'alright, pet." He kissed her softly. "They're bringing over a nurse as well, for you."

Buffy nodded, though the very idea sickened her. "Okay."

*

"What's happening, where's mommy?" Adrian stared up at Spike as the policeman snapped shots of the boy's battered face.

Spike knelt down and took Adrian's hand. "We're going to make sure that you don't get hurt again, alright, cookie?"

He glanced up and saw Buffy and the nurse returning downstairs. He pulled a tearful Buffy into his arms and kissed her. "It's going to be okay, now."

"It will be, Miss Summers." The police officer smiled. "Riley Finn is going to be put away for a long, long time."

"Is that it?" She asked nervously.

"We'll call if we need anything more. I'd recommend a good night's rest." He gathered his things and left quickly, along with the nurse.

"I need to get to Dawn." Spike said quietly as he lugged Adrian upstairs. "I'll wait til he's asleep, then I'll bring her this stuff."

Buffy nodded as he laid the tiny boy down in his bed. He turned and smiled at her. "You alright, pet?"

"Just shaken." She sighed. "Adrian was asleep, I was in the bath, I didn't even hear Riley come in."

Spike's smile faded. "I'm so sorry."

"How's Dawn?"

"Wouldn't see me." He shook his head sadly. "You think she'll be okay?"

"Give her time." Buffy kissed him on the cheek. "Go give her the stuff. I'll wait up for you."

He was about to leave when she asked in a tiny voice, "Will you still take me to Boston?"

"Why wouldn't I?" He kissed the tip of her nose.

"It's just.. I put you through so much." Buffy blinked back more tears. "I've turned your life upside down."

"But you make me happy." Spike pulled her into his arms and hugged her to him. "Happier than I've ever been. And next week, we're going to go to Boston, and have a good time."

"I want to talk to you about that.." Buffy smiled at him and led him into her room. "I kind of want you all to myself. Should we leave Adrian and Dawnie here?"

"Not by themselves." Spike said in a horrified tone.

"No.. my mom.. she offered to come and babysit. She wants to meet Dawn." Buffy frowned. "It only took her, what, fifteen years? She didn't even see me when I was in the hospital. She signed your fucking papers and called me once or twice, basically just to remind me I shouldn't see Dawn before I gave her up to you."

Spike found himself laughing and quickly apologized to Buffy. "I'm sorry. I just remember when I met you.. and.. I don't know how that chubby, scraggly teenage girl became this beautiful, amazing woman."

"I was not chubby!" Buffy giggled and slapped him on the chest. "It was baby weight, you jerk. And scraggly? Um, the Billy Idol clothes you donned all that time ago weren't so hot."

"I'm glad your mother didn't meet me back then, she'd probably have thought I wanted to sell Dawn on the black market." He chuckled and kissed her softly. "Speaking of which, I'd better go see the Nibblet."

"Okay." Buffy reached down and stroked his thigh, watching in amusement as his eyes went wide. "Hurry back, baby."

*

He did hurry back, but his mood wasn't half as good after quick words with Willow.

"Dawn sends her love." She said uneasily, and then added, "But she won't want to see anyone, except for maybe Adrian, for the next few days. And she said if Adrian does want to see her.. bring his.."

"Trains." Spike guessed, trying to hide his misery. "Look.. tell her I love her, and if she wants anything at all, she can call."

Willow nodded and watched as he left, dragging his feet dismally as Spike disappeared down the hospital hallway.

But his mood managed to lift again when he found Buffy waiting for him, in bed, in a tiny red nightgown. She smiled at him and pulled him into bed. Spike returned the smile and traced his fingers over the crimson satin. "I hope you don't think this is staying on, sweetheart."

"Of course not, just don't r--" Buffy squealed as he tore the fabric off her body, devouring her skin with soft kisses.

Just as she'd wanted, he held her, loved her, and made all the pain just go away.

*
 

Chapter 13:

"DAWNIE!" Adrian screamed happily as he raced towards her, and jumped up onto her bed. "Mommy let me come see you."

"I was looking forward to seeing you." She pecked him on the cheek. "Did you bring some toys?"

"Yeah." He pulled his knapsack off his back and dumped the wooden objects on the bed.

"This looks like fun." Dawn grinned at Adrian.

"Why are you in hopsitell?" He frowned at her.

"Hospital." She corrected him. "I'm just not that well lately."

"Spikey brought me. He wants to see you." Adrian grabbed a red train and started pushing it around the bed.

"I might see him later." Dawn said quietly, taking a blue train. She rolled the wheels over the palm of her hand, her eyes fixed on her stomach. My daughter used to be in there.

She knew she couldn't cry in front of Adrian, it might scare him. But she desperately wanted to just bury herself under the blankets and cry everything away. At night her dreams were haunted by images of baby girls, just screaming, their tiny faces screwed up. During the day, her mind echoed with unanswered questions. Should I tell Connor? Did I murder my own child? Did I give up too soon?

"Guess what?" Adrian smiled at her, breaking her thoughts. "Mommy and Spikey are going away soon."

"Huh?" Dawn stared at him. "Where are they going?"

"I'll go get Spikey." Adrian raced out of the room before Dawn could object.

"Hey, Nibblet." Spike came in with Adrian in his arms. He placed the boy down on the bed and smiled at Dawn. "How are you, sweetheart?"

"Why are you and Buffy going away?" She glared at him.

"Buffy wants to go to the photography thing I always manage to avoid." He made a face. "But it might be nice, it's in Boston this year. Do you mind?"

"When are you going?" She asked in a small voice.

"Three days."

"But I get out tomorrow!" Dawn shrieked angrily. "You're just gonna leave?"

"Buffy's organized for her mum to come and stay with you."

Her face brightened slightly. "So.. she'd be like my grandma."

"Yeah." He smiled. "She really wants to meet you. Joyce, her name is."

"That's okay." Dawn grinned. "How long will you guys be off romancing in Boston?"

"Just a weekend, sweetheart." Spike lowered his voice slightly, and added, "Really, luv, how are you?"

"I don't really know." She shrugged. "I feel all weird. Do you think I should tell Connor?"

"If you think it's the right thing to do." Spike replied gently.

"The right thing would have been to tell him before I killed her."

"You didn't kill her, luv. You did the right thing, by you and her." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "You'll be alright, I know."

She nodded. "I kind of need some alone time at the moment."

"Okay." Spike smiled at her and picked Adrian up. "Come on, let's give Dawn some peace, okay?"

"I want to stay!" He whined.

Dawn shrugged. "I don't mind. He can play, and when it's lunch, he can have my icecream."

"Alright." Spike kissed her hand and left.

*

When he returned home, Spike found Buffy still asleep, wrapped up in a tangled mess of sheets. He kissed her softly, peppering her face with kisses until she stirred.

"Hey baby." She smiled at him sleepily. "How late is it?"

"Pretty late, princess." He nodded at the clock. "Nearly lunch."

"I woke up after you left, my mom called." Buffy pulled a face. "She's coming today."

"That'll be great, sweetheart."

"No, it won't be great!" Buffy sat up and glared at him. "She'll start being pushy. And by pushy, I mean, tell me off for interrupting Dawn's life like this."

"You didn't interrupt, if anything, me and the Nibblet did."

"That's not how she'll see it." Buffy rolled her eyes. "And then of course, the whole me falling in love with you thing."

Spike smirked. "You're in love with me?"

"No." Buffy said quickly, scowling at him. "That's just an expression.. used when.. when.."

She sighed in defeat. "When I'm in love with you."

He moved on top of her, pulling the sheets away to reveal her bare body.

"I have to have you, right now." He whispered, nibbling at her earlobe.

Buffy gasped as he kissed up and down her neck, suckling slightly on bits to make marks. She threaded her fingers through his soft blonde hair and kissed him passionately, moving one hand down to undo his pants. She gripped his erection and stroked it gently, making Spike moan, his face buried in the soft skin of her shoulder. Buffy rubbed the head of his cock, spreading the milky drops of semen while her second hand squeezed his balls. Overcome with lust for her, Spike grabbed both of her hands and pinned them above her head, staring into her green eyes as he plunged inside her.

Buffy cried out in ecstasy as he thrust deep into her hot core, her body shaking against his as waves of intense pleasure hit. Spike freed her hands and she cupped his face with one, bringing her lips to his in a fiery kiss. He moaned her name against her lips, grasping her hips as he fucked her without any restraint.

Buffy bit down on his shoulder, gasping his name as her climax took over her body. With a loud scream she came, flying up to an all new high as Spike reached his own.

"Love you." She said breathlessly, kissing his temple softly as he rested his head on her shoulder.

"Love you too, kitten." He kissed her and smiled. "I have an idea."

Spike jumped out of bed and left the room, returning moments later, polaroid camera in hand.

"No way." Buffy frowned at him.

"For my private collection?" He pouted at her pleadingly.

Buffy poked her tongue out at him and dove under the rumpled sheets to hide. A moment later a squeal erupted from her as she felt Spike dive on top of her, tickling her through the cotton bedsheets.

"Let me take one photo." He said, pulling the sheets back, his voice muffled as he pressed his lips to hers.

"One." She said firmly, and gave a tiny smile, gazing into the camera. Snap. The photo peeled out of the camera, and Spike took it, shaking it quickly. He gazed at it adoringly and held it up for Buffy to see.

"See how beautiful you are, princess?" He threw the photo aside and kissed her. "You're the most beautiful creature in all the world."

She giggled as he kissed down her neck, flicking his tongue over the two love-bites he'd left. She picked up the photo and looked at it, a tiny smile playing on her lips. She did look beautiful.. and it was him who made her realize it. Buffy pounced on him and kissed him, murmering undeniable words of love in his ear.

*

 

Chapter 14:

"I think I have your eyes." Dawn said softly, gazing at Joyce intently.

"I think so too, honey." She smiled. "Okay. Tell me about you."

"I'm kind of an artist." Dawn explained shyly. "I paint stuff.. did you see the big painting in Adrian's room?"

Joyce nodded, a smile growing on her face. "You did that? It's amazing."

"Thanks." Dawn shrugged. "My dad's more into photos, but my mom.. um.. my adopted mother taught me how to paint."

"Are you glad you met Buffy?" Joyce asked curiously.

Dawn nodded eagerly. "She's really great. And Adrian's adorable. At first I kind of had a problem with the whole keeping-him-and-not-me thing, but I get it now."

"Buffy was awfully young." Joyce said quietly. "She must have told you all kinds of awful things about me. I wasn't very nice to her during that time."

"She told me some stuff, nothing too bad." Dawn bit her lip. "I kind of got how angry you must have been when my dad found out that I was.. umm.. you know about that, right?"

"William told me." She smiled sympathetically, reached out, and took Dawn's hand. "I'm so sorry. It must have been hard for everyone."

"Dad was furious about me being pregnant, but I think he's just sad for me now. And Buffy.. well, she'd obviously been there." Dawn stared down at her hands, blinking back tears as she spoke quietly.

"What about you?" Joyce squeezed Dawn's hand. "It must've been awful for you."

"I keep seeing her." Dawn said, the tears spilling out of her suddenly. "In my dreams.. she's screaming. I want to hold her, and love her, but she's-"

The phone rang, startling both of them. Joyce pulled Dawn into her arms and held her as she picked up the phone. "Hello?"

She paused and smiled down at Dawn. "It's your dad."

Dawn grabbed the phone. "Hey. How's Boston?"

"It's alright, sweetheart. I just wanted to see how you are."

Dawn grinned at Joyce, sniffling back on her tears. "Good. Joyce and I got out videos, kiddie stuff for Adrian, and then some horror movies for later. And pizza."

"Good. Look, call if you need anything, Nibblet. Okay?"

"Okay." Dawn hung up and smiled at Joyce. "He just wanted to check up on us."

"You want to talk some more?" Joyce smoothed Dawn's silky hair. "I'm a good listener, hon."

"Okay." Dawn smiled shyly. "It all kind of started when dad told me he hated Connor and didn't want me seeing him anymore.."

*

"Can we go now?" Buffy said in a whiny tone, leaning against the door as Spike went to get his tie. "Quit stalling."

"I'm telling you, you'll be bored." He turned around and his eyes went wide. "You look.."

Buffy smiled. "Thankyou."

"I'm very, very glad I sent you shopping." He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, running his thumb down from her chest to her navel, where the dipping neckline ended. The red silk of the dress clung to Buffy's body, accentuating her every curve. It was completely backless, and a simple ribbon tied it around her neck.

"If you're lucky I'll let you take some photos." She pecked him on the cheek. "Come on, I bet the cab's waiting."

"Let's just stay home." He whispered, nuzzling her neck. "And I can make love to you."

"I want to go and see this thing."

"You don't even know what it is." He teased her as she dragged him towards the elevator.

"I do so." Buffy paused, her face falling slightly. "Okay, I don't. What is it?"

"All the photos are put up for display, there's food, and thank god, wine, and some presentations."

"Awards?" Buffy grinned at him hopefully.

"Speeches." Spike rolled his eyes. "I've been to one of these things, when I was in college, and it was a class thing, and I promised myself I'd never go again."

Buffy frowned disapprovingly at him. "Don't be silly, it'll be fun."

She smiled and pressed him against the wall, running her hand up and down his black silk tie. "And if it's not.. I'll let you take as many photos of me as you want."

"I think I'll need more film." Spike muttered as they walked out the hotel doors to the awaiting cab.

*

"Do you think I should tell Connor?" Dawn asked Joyce through a mouthful of buttery popcorn.

Joyce hesitated. "Are you still together?"

She rolled her eyes. "No. I only got to move here if I ended it with him."

"He is a bit old for you." Joyce noted. "But does he need to know?"

"I just think it would be the right thing." She shrugged. "Dad says it's up to me."

"I guess it would show you respect him." Joyce bit her lip. "But it might hurt him. Buffy never told your.. um.. your real father. He wasn't the kind of guy.."

"She told me he was a total jerk." Dawn smiled. "Luckily I wound up with a great dad."

"Do you mind about him and Buffy?"

"No, they're cute together." Dawn grinned. "And guess what?"

Joyce smiled. She had to admit she loved Dawn more than anything already. "What?"

"I was looking for the photos of Adrian I showed you in his room, and I found something." Dawn giggled and said ecstatically, "Guess what it is?"

"Give me a clue?"

Dawn's eyes lit up and she whispered, "It has a diamond, and it's for Buffy."

Joyce blinked, silent for a moment, still with shock. "You mean..?"

Dawn nodded and clapped her hands. "Isn't it great, Joyce?"

"Oh, honey, it is." Joyce hugged Dawn. "And you can call me Nanna."

*

"You bloody owe me." Spike glared at her, and Buffy smiled innocently.

"What'd I do? You're the one who took me there."

"I wanted to stay home and shag you." He pressed his lips to hers. "That was the most boring three hours of my life."

He growled and threw her over his shoulder as she giggled, kicking the door to their hotel room open. "You stay in that dress, understood?"

He disappeared into the other room. Buffy waited, and burst out laughing as he returned with a handful of film canisters. "You can't."

"I can, you promised." He loaded the first one into the camera and snapped photo after photo as Buffy flirted with the camera.

As he replaced the first film with another, Buffy unpinned her hair and let it tumble down her shoulders. She untied the ribbon and let the dress fall away, so she remained only in her red panties. Spike turned to look at her and smirked, holding the camera up to snap another photo. Buffy squealed happily and ran into the bedroom, holding her hands over her breasts. He dropped the camera and followed her, pinning her down onto the bed.

"You didn't use up all the film." Buffy said breathlessly as he covered her bare breasts with kisses.

"I don't care." He whispered as she pulled his clothes off. "I love you."

She paused and kissed him, whispering against his lips, "I love you too."

*
 

Chapter 15:

Joyce woke to the phone ringing and jumped up, realizing she and Dawn had fell asleep on the couch. She rubbed her tired eyes and grabbed the phone, leaving the room to take the call. "Yes?"

"It's Buffy. I just want to know how things are."

"Good, honey. We stayed up talking a lot." Joyce smiled. "How's the holiday?"

"It's good." Buffy smiled down at Spike, still asleep beside her. "How's Dawnie?"

"She did most of the talking. She got a lot of her chest, I think." Joyce sighed, sitting down on a kitchen stool. "She's a good kid."

"She's lovely." Buffy agreed, suddenly noticing Spike was stirring. "I got to go, okay?"

"Okay." Joyce yawned and hung up.

Buffy smiled at Spike. "Morning, sleepy."

He propped himself on his elbows and smiled at her. "Come here."

She snuggled up next to him and planted a tiny kiss on his lips. "What?"

"I love you." He whispered, gazing at her adoringly as he ran his hands over her body, stopping at the swell of her breasts. "You're so amazing."

"You are." She pressed her lips to his. "God, I just never want to let you go."

"Don't have too, kitten." He smiled up at her. "Do you want to go to the beach later?"

She nodded and laid back in his arms, completely content.

*

"How's the painting going?" Joyce asked as she came down into the basement. "Oh.. honey. It's beautiful."

Dawn stood back and admired her work, a baby lying among beds of roses. "I thought it might help me feel better. And I made it all kind of blurry, you know, because it looks pretty, and.. I never knew her. She's kind of a blur."

Joyce cocked her head, studying the painting carefully. "You do have talent."

"Kind of." Dawn shrugged. "I know I did the right thing. I'd never have been able to give it a proper life, and if it was unhealthy I don't know how easy it would have been to raise it."

"You're very mature for your age, you know that?" Joyce smiled at Dawn lovingly. "Buffy always was. She made bad decisions, but she was always very.. well.. you wouldn't have known she was 15."

"Did she love me?" Dawn asked softly.

"Of course she did." Joyce smiled sadly. "She loved you more than anything."

Dawn traced her finger over the pink paint and smiled to herself. "One day I'm going to have a real family."

"You'll be a great mom." Joyce reassured her. "Is Buffy.. I mean.. I don't see her as often as I'd like to.. is she doing well?"

Dawn nodded. "She's a great mom." She smiled, and added, "She's marrying the best guy in the whole world. Isn't it great?"

*

"That was great. You should've come for a swim." Spike said as he dried his hair off with a beach towel.

"I was sunbaking." Buffy mumbled as she got up.

"Obviously." He pulled the straps of her bikini away to reveal white skin. "Come on, let's get home."

"Can we watch the sunset?" She pleaded.

"Sure, kitten." He kissed her softly and pulled her into his lap. "I need to talk to you 'bout something."

"What?" She rested back in his embrace, sighing happily. "God, look at the sky. It's so pretty."

"Last night, did you see me talking with a guy with floppy dark hair?"

Buffy frowned. "The guy with the blonde girl?"

"Yeah, he's a friend from college. He was my best man when me and Cec got married."

"Why aren't you still friends?" Buffy asked curiously.

"Me and Cec moved to LA, and he was in New York. Besides, when we had Dawn, it was like we had two different lives. Anyway, he's moving to Paris this year, and he was looking at my photos, and thinks I have a lot of talent."

"You do." Buffy smiled at him. "I loved the ones of Adrian."

"He thinks I could be a professional photographer, or open up a shop in the city." Spike turned her around to face him. "And he's offered me his apartment."

"To keep?"

"No, to buy. But at a really good price. It's on Park Avenue." Spike met her gaze nervously. "But I don't want to go without you. And I thought.. you know.. Sunnydale.. it's nice, but-"

"There's a lot of bad memories." Buffy interjected, a sad look crumpling her face. "I've been thinking about moving, too. But.. Park Avenue.. that's, well, it's wow."

"I don't want to uproot your life for no reason though." Spike reached over into his bag and placed a tiny velvet box in her hand. "But maybe.. you'd move because you don't want to be without your husband?"

Buffy flipped the box open and felt tears spring into her eyes as she stared down at the diamond. "It's beautiful."

"If you don't want to, if it's too soon.." He bit his lip, watching her carefully. "If you're not ready.."

"Shut up." She slid the ring onto her finger and grinned at him. "Yes. Yes, we'll move to New York. Yes, I'll marry you."

"I love you." He pressed his lips to hers, grasping her body to his.

"I love you too." She smiled down at him. "Let's go home."

"Sunset." He reminded her, and Buffy turned around to watch as the golden sun faded into the horizen, leaving behind a mist of pink and purples in the sky. "Buffy.. promise me something, sweetheart."

"What?" She giggled as he nuzzled her neck affectionately.

"Promise we're forever." He whispered. "I don't ever want to lose you."

Buffy straddled him and rubbed her nose against his. "I'm yours. I'm only yours, and you're only mine. We are forever, baby. I promise."

They continued watching the beautiful array of lights until they all faded into a glittering black night sky. Buffy smiled to herself. Forever.

*