Title: Grey Lines

Pairing: B/S

Rating of the entire story: NC-17

Rating of this part: PG-13

Spoiler: Up to the end of Season 6.

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Not mine.

Author’s Note: First of all, I’m really, really, really, sorry to have left you guys at that chapter. I really didn’t mean to, and this time I can’t say it was my computer’s fault. This time it’s all my fault. I’m sorry! It’s just that my stepsister has been hanging around my computer and I didn’t have any time to write at peace.

Now, apologies aside, I have finally written the next chapter. It’s not as heart wrenching as the other, I promise. The song in this chapter is Peter Gabriel’s "I grieve" from the City of Angels OST. I heard the song when EosReia made a music video for it and I got completely hooked (You guys should really watch that vid, by the way). Anyway, if you’ve d/l the song you may read, if not… well you can read it too but it won’t have the same effect, so. Your choice! ;)

Chapter XX - I Grieve

"Buffy! I’m home!" Dawn’s voice echoed through the entire house as she climbed up the stairs taking two steps at a time. "Buffy!" she called out again as she knocked at door to her sister’s room before stepping in.

She found her scrambling to close her wardrobe, before turning around to face her.

"Hey, you’re home early." Buffy forced a weak smile as she nervously brushed her hair out of her eyes with a trembling hand.

"Buffy? Are you ok? Why are you crying?" the younger girl asked concerned as she closed the distance between the two.

"Me? I’m not crying." And yet another ghost of a smile plagued her swollen lips as she walked past her sister into the bathroom.

"I know you, you’re crying. What happened?" Dawn continued to question as she watched her sister frantically wash her face off.

"Nothing happen. I’m fine."

Buffy drowned her face into another handful of clear water.

"You’re not fi-"

"Look! I told you I’m fine, just stop grilling me about this!" the second the harsh words left her mouth she regretted them. Looking into her sister’s huge and soulful eyes she added in a softer and quieter tone: "I’m sorry, Dawn! I’m just tired I guess."

"It’s about Spike, isn’t it?"

Buffy immediately looked up from the towel she was drying her face with.

"What about Spike?"

"I know what happen. Willow told me." Dawn said with an understanding tone.

"What? What did Willow tell you?" Buffy closed the distance between them, the towel on the floor, instantly forgotten.

"He had to lose his soul in order to save Anya and Clem."

"Oh, right…" Buffy trailed off walking back to her room.

"Come on, it’s no reason for you to be like this." Dawn tried to help, but her sister seemed impervious to her words as she began to pick up the clothes scattered across the room. "I mean it’s still same old Spike, right? Soul or no soul."

Without a word, Buffy continued out the door and down the stairs straight to the basement while Dawn followed her close behind, desperately trying to get through to her sister.

"If you want I can go by his crypt and…"

"NO!"

Well, that did the trick, suddenly she had her sister’s undivided attention.

"Don’t! I don’t want you going over there."

"Why n…" Suddenly it hit her, there was something wrong with this picture. Something very wrong… Maybe…"Buffy, did something happen to Spike?"

"What?" Buffy tried to sound casual, but failed miserably at it. "No, nothing happen to him."

"Buffy, I know you, something happen. Tell me!" a hint of desperation crept in her voice.

"Nothing happen, Dawn." Buffy sighed and said nonchalantly. "It’s just that… We had a fight, that’s all."

She could immediately see the relief in her young sister’s face.

"Thank God! For a minute there I thought… well… you know." Dawn tilted her head as she tried to find a euphemism for the situation she’d envisioned.

Buffy gave her the best smile she could muster before reassuring her: "Nothing happen, now go upstairs and get cleaned up. I’m making omelettes for dinner."

"Oh, goody." Dawn squealed with fake enthusiasm as she walked out of the basement leaving Buffy alone in the dark room.

************************************************************************************************

"Here you go. Just the way you like it." Anya said in a babyish tone as she put the tray in front of a highly pampered Xander.

"Thanks, honey." Xander replied as he picked up the fork and drove it into the mountain of mashed potatoes in front of him.

"She’s spoiling you rotten." Giles grumbled as he saw the vengeance demon leave the room. "We all know that you’re faking it."

"What? How could you say something like that G-man? I feel so weak and helpless." Xander squealed in a seemingly offended tone.

"You call me that again and you’ll feel more than weak." Giles threatened.

"Oh, come on Xander." Willow stepped in. "That vampire didn’t leave so much as a scratch on you."

"No, he didn’t leave a scratch. He left two very deep and round holes in my throat. That’s what he left." Xander protested exposing the bite mark in his neck.

"Xander!" Willow and Giles said in unison.

"Nop! I’m not moving. I’m staying right here and I’m gonna milk this for all that it’s worth. I mean guys, look at this place. This house hasn’t been this clean since… since EVER. Anya will do anything I say."

"What you’re doing is not right." Giles advised, giving Xander a sharp disapproving look that made him what to melt under his sheets.

"Come on people, I left the hospital today." Xander argued.

"The doctor wanted to let you go last night, just after you came in. We all heard you begging him to stay at least that night." Willow replied.

There was silence for a second and then Xander broke it with a huge sigh:

"Ok, fine. You win. But I want it on record that this is not fair. It hasn’t even been a day since I got bitten. At least give me till tomorrow morning." Xander begged with huge pleading eyes.

"It’s your-"

A ringing sound cut off Giles before he could finish his sentence.

"Hello?" Xander answered the phone with a fake hoarse voice. "Sam, hey. How are-" Xander jumped up from the bed as a very angry voice answered from the other side of the line. "I’m a bit weak from-" Giles and Willow heard shouting and screaming coming from the small plastic object Xander held up to his ear. "But I can’t go to work tomorrow I’m-" More shouting. "It’s just that- But-" And yet more. "Ok, fine I’ll be there tomorrow. Eight o’clock sharp. Right. I’ll be there. Bye."

"I guess you’re going to work tomorrow, huh?" Willow said with a mocking grin on her face.

************************************************************************************************

She walked numbly through the graveyard, slowly going through the motions of another night out slaying. The small wooden stake tightly clenched in her able hand as she absentmindedly drove it into another vampire. As the creature quickly crumbled to dust a light gush of wind blew past her, causing the small featherweight particles to cover her marred face. As she brushed them away an image flashed before her eyes.

She squinted hard to make it go away but her mind refused to let it go - the sight of him, being enveloped by the flaming bright light, his hand stretched out to her, in his eyes a disturbing mixture of fear and acceptance for his fate. The visions, burnt in her retina, assaulted her mind. The heart wrenching pain in her chest grew uncontrollably as echoes of him calling her that same morning, just before dawn, crept into her hear. She could have sworn it was his voice. It was weak and hoarse, but it was his voice. Then again, she had been wandering barefoot in a pavement covered with broken glass and not felt a thing. The doubt haunted her in a way that she began to question her sanity.

Her fingers travelled up her face, over her forehead and paused on her temples, pressing hard, as if trying to erase the memories that flooded her eyes and her mind. Her eyelids slowly fluttered open as she instinctively knew she had arrived at her destination.

With trembling fingers she traced the hard markings on the old wooden door before pushing it open. She was greeted with the usual dark, murky walls of his crypt, except… it wasn’t his anymore, was it?

She barely heard the door slam shut behind her as she drifted into the large room. It was cold and damp but she remained unaware, unchanged, floating down the steps to the lower compartment. It was even darker, but she didn’t stumble over a thing. Her senses, her body knew every inch of that place and soon she was kneeling next to the bed, her right arm outstretched over the silk sheets.

A weak smile crept up her lips, as the memory became clearer. Suddenly, a thousand words and thoughts echoed in her ears. It was so loud she was forced to cover them, but it was no use, they came from inside her. From deep inside her. Sluggishly, her tremulous hands moved down her neck and back over the material that covered the bed. Her fragile body soon followed and she found herself laying numbly in a sea of white silk. She closed her eyes, letting the past scream at her, letting the distinct smell of cigarettes and alcohol that emanated from the sheet and the black leather that covered her seep into her skin.

She rolled to her side, pulling at the edges of the duster trying to cover every inch of herself. She remained still, comforted by the familiarity of it all, struggling to ignore the emptiness that crept its way into the room. But it was no use, soon reality seeped into her mind and it struck her chest, telling her he was gone.

She clutched onto the worn-out leather as if to life itself. Her small hands curled around her legs bringing them against her ribcage, desperately looking for isolation. Soon the tears rolled freely down two flushed, warm cheeks, around her chin, over her neck and onto the dry pillow. Her breath now came in short gasps as the pain flooded all of her senses.

Small cracking noises came from the bonfire as it slowly grew upwards toward the sky. She stood silently, watching it intensely, watching it come to life while a part of her died. Slowly, she let the leather slide down her lean figure grabbing it before it reached the grass beneath her feet. Her fingers mindlessly floated over the harsh fabric, as if caressing a wounded animal, careful not to hurt it. Her eyes drifted shut as she took in and registered those last moments. When she opened them again the duster was no longer in her hands but, instead, it lay over the burning wooden logs, bright yellow flames delicately hovering over it, engulfing it.

She stood there for what seemed like an eternity, staring blindly at the black material, oblivious to her surroundings when she heard him.

"I thought you like the duster, luv." Was the simple statement coming from behind her.

She remained still, yet her heart skipped a beat.

"Why’d you have to leave?" her hoarse voice echoed through the empty graveyard, but her eyes remained fixated on the fire in front of her.

"Had to. Just the way it had to be." She could tell he was close. Close enough to touch.

Slowly, two strong arms snaked around her waist and she felt him pressing against her back. For a second, a memory, of a different time, a different lover flashed before her. It seemed like a lifetime ago, a different world, a different place, a different Buffy. Somehow this pain was stronger, deeper.

With a light nod she shock away the memory and leaned back into the man standing behind her, holding her.

"I love you." She whispered truthfully.

"I know." The voice breathed back. She felt him nuzzle against her dishevelled hair before adding: "I have to go now."

She felt her heart leap out of her chest.

"NO! Don’t-" she turned around and he was gone. She was alone, sitting up in his empty bed, soaked in her own sweat.

"Harris! Move your sorry butt down that hole!" Sam yelled for the 1000th time that morning.

"Going, going, gee!" Xander mumbled to himself as he leaned toward the large hole in the middle of Roosevelt Drive. He swallowed hard as he imagined what *he* must have gone through. No wonder Buffy was so out of it.

After strapping a safety cord around his waist, he was slowly lowered down the hole by his fellow co-workers. As his feet reached solid ground he freed himself from rope and, turning on his flashlight, he began to examine his surrounding. There wasn’t much to it. Basically, a big gapping hole. Huge, tall walls threatening to fall out at anytime.

He walked around, careful where he stepped.

"See anything, Harris?" a deep voice asked from above.

"Nothing yet."

"Well, hurry up, I wanna have my lunch." The voice protested.

"Sure." Xander replied absentmindedly as he searched his surrounding, for what he wasn’t sure yet.

Suddenly, he stumbled on something. After cursing for a while he pointed his flashlight in the direction of what had nearly caused him to fall. He found a large pile of dust. He felt a pang in his chest as he slowly fell to his knees. He stared it, his hand hovering over it as he wondered whether or not to touch it.

"That’s not me, you wanker!" a familiar voice came from behind Xander, causing him to jump up, hit the low ceiling and, this time fall flat on his ass.

"Spike?!" Xander asked in disbelief.

Part XXI - Ghost

Previously on Grey Lines:

Buffy still hasn’t told Dawn about Spike’s death. Xander has completely recovered from his vampire encounter but is playing it sick. His boss calls and tells him to get his butt to work, which he says he will do - the next morning. Buffy grieves for Spike by going to his crypt. Xander goes to work, and guess what, he’s working on the site where the Foris Caliga exploded. He goes down the hole and finds Spike.



Author’s Note: I sincerely hope that this new chapter of Grey Lines reaches all of you guys. Because of FF recent change of policy (which I won’t even discuss here, it just makes me super mad!!!! Grrrr) some of the people who used to read this fiction on their site will probably lose track of where they can find it and I’m really sorry. Just want you guys to know that you can always find this fic, and all my other fics, on my site Echidna’s Pen - http://www.angelfire.com/80s/echidna/index.htm .

Hope you enjoy the new chapter. There are probably only two more on the way and then it will be the end. Buuuuaaaaa… ;)



Chapter XXI - Ghost

Xander stared blindly as if confronted by a real ghost. Confused by the young man’s astonishment, Spike tilted his head before speaking:

“You just gonna stand there while I bleed to death, again?”

The strong British accent seemed to seep into Xander’s clouded mind and he stuttered as he clumsily stumbled to his feet:

“Sp-Spike, you-you’re alive!” Unable to contain the impulse, the young man threw his arms around the vampire’s fragile form, successfully crushing him beneath his weight.

“Hey, hey, hey! Broken bones and serious internal bleeding here! Get off!!!” Spike managed to let out a muffled scream.

Instantly, as if burnt, Xander backed away, stumbling as he backtracked and falling flat on his ass.

“Spike! You’re alive!” he shouted gingerly pointing at the pain stricken vampire.

“Huh, I think the right term is undead, but glad to see you’re IQ has remained intact since the last time we saw each other.” Spike replied with his usual sarcastic tone, but this instantly changed as he continued: “Of course I’m alive, you wanker! Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re alive!!” was all Xander could say, repeating it to exhaustion as he came closer and prepared for another painful hug.

Spike immediately tried to back away, but in his condition it wasn’t easy. His body refused to obey him, but that didn’t mean his tongue did:

“Oi! You’re not going to hug me again, are you?”

Xander stopped dead in his tracks, arms wide open and a foolish grin about to crumble.

“Of course not!” he tried to deny, his arms dropping immediately to his side and finding their way into the pockets of his worn out jeans.

“Good! Always wondered about you. Always thought you were… well, always got this kind of… pillow biter vibe from you, but I thought you’d keep it to yourself, you know? Cause you’d be very disappointed to know that I only mingle with the ladies.” Spike forced an evil grin over his sore lips.

“You’re a pig, Spike!” was Xander’s feeble rebuttal.

“That’s it, back in the closet. Keep that sassy diva in you just locked in there and away from me.”

“You don’t shut up right now I’ll leave, let them burry you in here and they’ll never know you’re alive.” Xander threatened him.

“They think I’m dead… huh… deader? Dust? Poof?” Spike asked confused.

“Well, duh!”

**************************************************************************************

Dawn stumbled out of bed, her eyes still half closed as she made her way into the bathroom and washed up. Sluggishly, she went through the daily routine and eventually she ended up downstairs, in the kitchen, working on her bowl of cereals.

She glanced over her shoulder and found a note on the counter:

“Had to leave early! Have a really important exam today. Wish me luck.

Love, Willow

PS: sorry about the mess in the kitchen sink, I’ll clean it up as soon as I can.”

Dawn smiled as she looked at the lavatory to find it piled up with two dishes, three frying pans and a world of spatulas and forks.

“I’ve never seen anyone have so much trouble over an omelette, especially on exam day.” Dawn said to herself. Sighing, she shoved a spoon full of cereal into her small mouth and shouted: “Buffy! Wake up!”

Getting no answer, she yelled again. After a bit more shouting, her vocal cords began to protest and she decided it was time for her legs to do the work, climbing up the stairs and walking into her sister’s bedroom. To her astonishment, she found it empty and a perfect, untouched bed staring back at her.

“Buffy woke up early and made her bed?” Dawn said to herself.

She wandered around the room to find any evidence of her sister’s whereabouts. Finding none and realising she was late, she jogged down the stairs and headed for school.

**************************************************************************************

“I’m really worried about Buffy, I’ve been phoning her forever and there’s no answer.” Willow wondered.

“Maybe she decided to go for a walk.” Giles offered pouring the witch another cup of tea.

“I don’t know. She was really shaken up the other night. I mean, you should have seen her. She was completely out of it, I thought she was gonna go all comatose on us again. It was really scary for a second. I never realised how much he meant to her.” A shadow fell over Willow’s pale face as she remembered the reason for Buffy’s grief. She would certainly miss him. Miss being called Red. She smiled as the memory came to her. He had a thing for nicknames, didn’t he?

She stared blindly at her cup as she held it tightly with both hands. If she had been aware of her surrounding, she would have found Giles in a very similar state of mind as he wordlessly cleaned his glasses.

**************************************************************************************

“Will you just quit poncing around and get me out of here?” Spike protested.

“Gladly! But in case you don’t remember it’s daytime, you are stuck in a hole, you can barely walk and there are no sewer tunnels around these parts.” Xander summed it up.

“So what are we going to do?” Spike frowned. “I’ve been here for almost two bloody days now and the scenery is really starting to bore me and God do I need a fag…” he sighed.

“Who’s the pillow biter now, hum?”

“What?” Spike asked confused, while his mind backtracked and tried to find the origin of his remark. “FAG, a cigarette, not a fagot, you plonker.”

“Hey! I resent that!”

“You resent-You don’t even know what it means.”

“Well, no but-“

“Oh, just shut up and get me the hell out of here.” Spike protested.

“And what do you suggest I do. Call the guys to get you out of here and see you burst into flames the moment the sun hits you?” Xander asked sarcastically.

“You could say I’m photosensitive and have them carry me out covered in blankets.” Spike suggested.

“It’s Sunnydale. We play dumb, doesn’t mean we are.”

“Well, I have my doubts about some of you lot.” Spike snapped.

“That’s it! You’re staying here till the sun comes down and-and… and that’s it!” Xander ordered, turning on his heels and tying the safety cord around his waist.

“Oi!” Spike called out, but the young man pretended not to hear. “Hey, mate, pal, amigo, buddy! Harris!” At the last word Xander responded by turning to face the vampire. “Bring me a fag, please. I’m dying for one. Just one.”

Xander couldn’t believe it, but Spike was actually begging him. He made sure his mind recorded every single sound and image of that moment so he could replay it over and over again in the future.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

***********************************************************************************************

A thud was heard in the hall as Willow dropped her handbag on the floor upon entering the Summers’ residence.

“Dawn?” the witch called out as she hung up her coat.

“Hey!” the young teenager greeted hopping down the stairs, taking the steps two at a time. “Where’s Buffy?”

“What do you mean ‘Where’s Buffy?’?” Willow asked confused.

“I mean: ‘Where is my irresponsible sister who has completely forgotten about her little sister and whom I thought was with you’.”

“I thought she was here, with you.” Willow explained as she poured herself a glass of orange juice.

“Well, she isn’t. I haven’t seen her all day. When I woke up she was already gone.” A little worry started to seep into Dawn’s mind as she noticed the doubt and a hint of fear in the redhead’s eyes. “Is everything ok?”

Willow paused for a second as she stared into nothingness. Her mind racing.

“Willow?”

Dawn’s frail voice echoed in Willow’s ears and it seemed to snap her out of her daze:

“What? Ah, yes… hum, I forgot. Buffy called me, she said she was going over to Giles later today.” Willow lied.

“Well, it’s pretty late.” Dawn replied, looking up at the kitchen clock. It read 21h40m.

“Yeah, well I better call Giles just to check.” Willow quickly made her way to the kitchen phone, picking it up and dialling the familiar number while Dawn sat on the counter, watching and waiting.

“Hello, Giles? Yeah, it’s Willow. Oh, nothing, just wanted to check if Buffy is still there with you.”

“Buffy? No, she’s not here.” The voice on the other side of the line answered.

“Ok, then. Just tell her to come back home as soon as possible.”

“Willow? What are you talking about? I just told you she’s not here.”

“Oh, you’re going through fighting techniques. Ok, just don’t be late.” Willow tried to ignore the confused man speaking in her ear.

“Willow, is everything ok?”

“No, everything’s fine. It’s just that Dawn and I haven’t seen Buffy all day and we were kind of worried about… what she might be doing.” The young redhead tried really hard to hide the fear in her voice and apparently it seemed to work. At least on Dawn.

“I’m coming over here right now.”

“No!” Willow almost shouted. Seeing the frown settling over Dawn’s face she added in a calmer tone: “She doesn’t have to come over right now. I-I mean… y-you can talk about Slayer stuff as long as you like. You know, for an hour or two. In the meantime, Dawn and I are going to bed. To sleep.”

“I’ll be over there in an hour.”

“Ok. Good night then.” Willow hung up the phone and turned to meet a confused Dawn.

“What was that whole: ‘for as long as you like’, ‘an hour or two’? Are you ok, Will?”

“I-I’m fine. Just a bit tired from the exam and all.” The witch forced a smile to mask her nervousness.

**************************************************************************************

“For a second there I thought you were never coming back down here.” Spike grumbled as he saw the young man free himself from the safety cord.

“You’re standing!” Xander noted amazed.

“Yeah, and I can walk too, isn’t that neat?” the words came out dripping with sarcasm. “Special healing powers? Comes free with the whole vampire package?”

“It’s just that… Not used to it.” Xander explained. “Well, can you climb up this rope?”

“I can try.”

Spike stumbled his way toward the rope that hung in the middle of the dark cavern and whirled it around his left arm. As he slowly made his way up, his heavy breathing, though unnecessary, along with his muffled cries, testified to the pain that the seemingly easy task caused him. As he finally reached the top, he let out a shallow pant while his bloodied hands grasped the muddy ground and he whorled his body out the dark cavern.

Now it was Xander’s turn. With much greater easy, he pulled his body up the cord. He shuddered at the feel of a moist, slippery rope between his fingers, accompanied by the familiar metallic scent of blood. When he finally reached the top, he found Spike, laying motionless, belly up, eyes closed, arms spread out like an eagle on the muddied asphalt. A foolish grin on his face greeted the almost full moon that gleamed down on his tired body.

“We-we better go.” Xander hesitated at first, not wanting to intrude on what seemed like a sacred ritual. “The others still don’t know you’re ok.”

******************************************************************************************

“What happened? Where is she?” were Giles’ first words as he walked into the house.

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen her all day. Neither has Dawn.” Willow quickly explained as she followed Giles into the kitchen area.

“D-Does she know yet?” Giles stuttered as he entered sensitive territory.

“No.” Willow breathed, head bowed. “I thought Buffy was going to tell her today, but…You don’t think she…” the redhead refused to finish her sentence.

“No! Buffy would never do that. She’s been through worst and she has survived.” Giles tried to block out the idea. “Do you think she might have left? Like when Angel…”

“Well, her clothes are still here. All of them.” Willow explained. “That’s a good sign, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t know.” Giles mumbled as he paced around, the back of his hand nervously rubbing against his marred forehead.

“What do we do now?”

“We better call the others and start looking for her.”

Giles was still in mid sentence and Willow had already picked up the phone and dialled Xander’s number.

“No one’s answering.” The witch explained as she hung up.

They remained in silence for a moment, staring at each other, desperation reflecting from each other’s eyes.

“I-I can try to do a locating spell.” Willow offered.

Giles gave her a weak smile before replying: “You’re still worn out from the other night. I don’t want you to risk it. We have to look for her on our own.”

“What about Dawn? Should we tell her?” Willow asked.

“Tell me what?” Dawn feeble voice came from the kitchen door.

Willow and Giles turned to stare at the young teenager and having no answer she repeated:

“Tell me what?” she paused for a second, getting no reply she added in an increasingly angered tone: What are you hiding from me? I’m not a kid anymore. Something’s been wrong since the other night and you guys don’t want to tell me. I know something’s off. Buffy says that everything’s fine, but she keeps crying around the house.” She took a long needed breath and added calmly: “What happen to Spike? And where is my sister?”

“Dawn…” Willow trailed off as the tears began to flood her eyes. She slowly made her way toward the young girl. With feather-like touch she placed her hand over Dawn’s cotton covered shoulder before speaking: “Something did happen the other night. Buffy didn’t want to upset you, she wanted to tell you later, when everything had calmed down.” Her voice was smooth, even though the knot in her throat threatened to stop the even flow of reassuring words. “When we were fighting, we managed to thrown Ethan into the Foris Caliga. Un-“ she cleared her throat, swallowing hard before continuing: “Unfortunately, when it was destroyed, it exploded and somebody was caught in it.” Willow looked deep into Dawn’s glassy blue eyes, begging her not to make her say it. She saw the young girl’s gaze drift away from hers; saw her stare into an unknown spot behind her. “That someone-“

“Spike!” Dawn eyes suddenly lit up.

“Yes, it was Spike.” Willow’s head bowed down as she finally said it.

“Spike!” Dawn repeated and all of a sudden she was running. Towards the back door.

“Dawn!” Willow called out. “Don’t do anything- Spike??” the redhead’s eyes widened as she saw the peroxide blond standing at the door. Dawn ran towards him, throwing her arm around him, causing him to stumble back as a result of the impact.

“Watch it, Nibblet! Still got a little healing to do.” Spike gasped as Dawn released him from her deadly embrace.

“You’re alive!” She breathed, with a huge smile on her face.

“Surprise!” Spike gave her one of his trademark smirks as he spread out his arms.

“They were saying that… You know…” Dawn’s racing mind refused to give her any words to work with, but she didn’t care.

“Well, you can’t trust these Watcher types. Always get their info’s messed up.” Spike said, looking at the librarian out of the corner of his eye.

“Glad to see you.” Giles finally spoke; honesty being the dominate feature in his voice.

“You’re not gonna try and hug me too. Cause the whelp here already tried to cop a feel down in the hole. It was too scary.“ Spike mocked.

“No, I think a handshake will do.” Giles replied outstretching his hand.

“Good.”

“Are you sure I can’t kill him? Buffy doesn’t know yet, she’ll just think he died back in the Foris thingamajig.” Xander growled as he finally entered the kitchen closely followed by Anya.

Ignoring the young man standing next to him, Spike tilted his head to look over Giles’ shoulder and find a frozen Willow staring at him with tear-filled eyes. Her small hands covered her mouth, as if trying to keep her heart from leaping out.

“Hey, Red.” His head still slightly leaning to the side, his voice was a mere whisper.

In a blink of an eye, Willow’s arms were around him, squeezing the unlife out of him. Suddenly, she pulled back, staring wide-eyed at him. A painfully apologetic look on her face.

“Oh, I-I’m sorry, I-I forgot about t-the…” she pointed erratically at his entire body.

“The broken bones and open wounds, right?” Spike completed her sentence. Her gaze immediately dropped to the kitchen floor at her feet and he added reassuringly. “Don’t worry I’m starting to get used to that reaction by now. I’m passed the point of no return; don’t think I can feel a thing anymore.”

“What are these clothes?” Dawn finally noticed the white shirt and baggy white jeans.

“Xander’s. Mine got kinda, destroyed in the white, fiery cloud. No Hawaiian shirts this time. Thank God!” Spike sighed in relief.

“You look strange in white.” Dawn frowned. “Wait till Buffy sees this.”

“Yeah, where is the Buffster? I want to show her my good deed of the millennium.” Xander quipped with a smile, but it soon vanished as he saw the reaction in the room.

“She…” Willow tried to talk, but failed, as the knot in her throat seemed to finally close up.

“We don’t know where she is.” Giles stepped in.

“What do you mean you don’t know where she is?” Spike asked confused.

“We haven’t seen her all day. The last person to see her was Dawn, yesterday morning, before leaving for school.” Giles continued.

“You mean you haven’t seen her for almost two days and no one does anything?” outrage replaced the initial confusion in Spike’s voice.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” Xander asked.

“Because you’re idiot boss doesn’t let you take or make calls while you’re working.” Anya finally spoke.

“S-She was really upset about…” Willow paused, looking at the vampire standing in front of her. “…you and we’re afraid she… We just don’t know where she is.” As she finished, her gaze immediately fell to the floor again.

“Well, we have to start looking for her. We don’t have much time.” Xander stepped in. “We need to form groups and spread out. Me and Anya, Willow and Giles, Spike…” Xander looked over his shoulder and failed to find the familiar peroxide vampire. “Spike? Where’s Spike?”

************************************************************************************************

He took a long, unneeded breath as he pushed the heavy door open and walked into the large, damp room. He moved quickly in the dark, knowing every corner of that place. His hands soon found the trap door at his feet, pulling it up and sliding his tired body through the opening. Taking one step at a time, he came down the stairs into an even darker room. To the untrained human eye, there was nothing but blackness surrounding him, but his powerful vampire sight could easily notice the clear outlining of the objects that filled the room. The one that caught his attention the most was a large bed, in the middle of the room, the familiar form of a curled up human body laying motionless on it.

He stood still for what seemed like an eternity, just staring at the simple beauty of it. Taking one single step towards the bed he breathed:

“Buffy?”

Part XXII - Fumbling Towards Ecstacy

Title: Grey Lines
Pairing: B/S
Rating of the entire story: NC-17
Rating of this part: NC-17
Spoiler: Up to the end of Season 6.
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Not mine.

Previously on Grey Lines:

Spike and Xander quickly recommence their usual banter. Dawn wakes up alone, neither Willow nor Buffy are home. She finds a note from the witch, explaining why she left home so early, but has no news from her sister. More Spike and Xander banter. Willow comes home and worries when she finds out that they haven’t had news from Buffy for nearly two days, however, she tries to hide this from Dawn, calling Giles instead. While Giles and Willow duel on Buffy’s whereabouts, Dawn walks in and demands an explanation. Willow tries to tell her about what happen the other night, but is interrupted when Spike, Xander and Anya walk in. When all is settled down, Giles informs Spike that Buffy’s missing and before Xander can form a plan to find her, Spike has already left. He goes to his crypt and finds her laying on his bed.

Author’s Notes:

1) Once more I have a song suggestion. This one is easy and I’m pretty sure you all have it, at least if you are obsessed with Sarah Mclachlan like I am. It’s “Do what you have to do” and it’s one of my favourites songs by Sarah, along with, “Full of Grace”, “Good Enough” and “Witness” and “Fear” and I really have to shut up now. Anyway, for this chapter you’ll just need “Do what you have to do”.

2) The title of this chapter is from a song by, guess who! That’s it! Obviously, by Sarah Mclachlan.

3) This is, unfortunately, the last chapter, so make sure you enjoy it. ;)

Chapter XXII - Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

What ravages of spirit
conjured this temptuous rage
created you a monster
broken by the rules of love

Her mind whorled and looped down a dark spiralled path, deeper and deeper into the uncharted points of her consciousness, when a soft whisper in the distance seemed to ground her, seemed to stop the inevitable tumble towards lunacy. It sounded like her name…

and fate has lead you through it
you do what you have to do
and fate has led you through it
you do what you have to do ...

Slowly, a dim light appeared to seep into her jangled mind. As her eyes adjusted to the new feel of the room she dragged her head across the pillow she clutched between her fingers, looking up to find him.

and I have the sense to recognize that
I don't know how to let you go

He came back, but then again, he always did. He had, for the last tortuous hours, appeared to her in her clouded mind while she slept, in her dazed world while she dreamt, in that cold and dark room when she woke. He was always there. He would always be. He would come to her, without a word to comfort her in her blinding grief.

every moment marked
with apparitions of your soul

She knew he wasn’t real, she knew he was gone, but she didn’t care. She would take anything, she’d cling to any memory, any resemblance, any words, any sound or breath, any spectrum of light in her long decent into insanity. She knew the figure that stood before her was an illusion, a ghost in her mind which would fade away the second her fingers brushed over him, but she didn’t care, all she wanted was one last shred of hope to dull the pain that made it almost unbearable to breathe.

I'm ever swiftly moving
trying to escape this desire
the yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do

*********************************************************************************

“Buffy?” He breathed once more, getting no answer.

Unhurriedly, he took a step toward a table to his left. In few seconds he had the kerosene lamp burning and a soft fiery orange spread up the walls, down across the floor, over the silky sheets to finally bathe the curled up creature laying on the bed. Slowly, she began to stir, her hands remained tied up around her legs as her knees moved away from her chest, her neck craned up to expose the ghostly pale complexion of her marred face. She squinted as she tried to focus her tired sight on the figure standing next to the lamp. Deep dark bags encircled her eyes and it became clear to him that she had spent the last two days crying.

“Spike?” she whispered with a faltering voice.

He gave her a soft nod and a smile spread across her face. With some effort she sat up, her arms hugging her knees, bringing them against her chest once more. She tilted her head slightly, the sweet smile never leaving her lips as her eyes stared straight into his.

the yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do

A shy smile crossed his face as he noticed the familiar black leather that spread over her shoulders and down her back. Slowly, he took a step towards her and her eyes instantly grew wide. As he took another she suddenly crawled back, to the farthest corner of the bed, curling up into a little ball.

“Buffy?” he asked confused at the strange emotion that splayed across her widened eyes - fear.

She looked like a frightened mouse, cornered by a large cat, sitting there, hugging herself; her large glassy eyes never leaving him.

but I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how
to let you go

“Buffy, it’s me.” He tried to reassure her, taking another step towards her. In a blink of an eye she was standing, clutching the leather coat around her frail figure; the large bed standing between the two of them.

He stared at her with wide eyes.

“Buffy, it’s me… Spike.” He whispered with a faltering voice.

“I know.” Was her short reply.

“What wrong?” his voice echoed over the tall damp walls of the crypt.

Her answer to his question was a shadow of a smile. As the silence grew between them he decided to take another step and she immediately moved away from him.

“Don’t…” she breathed as her eyebrows moved closer to one another in a painful frown.

I don't know how
to let you go

“Buffy, what’s going-“ he stopped in mid sentence as she lifted an arm towards him, trying to keep the distance between them.

“Don’t com-don’t come near me.” The words cut their way up her throat as she spoke.

“W-why? What’s wrong?” he asked confused.

She tilted her head and smiled at him.

“I miss you.” She whispered with a flushed face. The tears quickly trailed down her cheeks and a trembling hand came to brush them away before they reached her chin.

“Buffy…” he breathed coming around the bed to reach for her.

She instantly jumped back, fear pooling into her eyes, turning them into ebony crystal.

“Don’t touch me.” She almost shouted at him.

“I-I don’t understand.” He stuttered.

“Please… Just stay there… Please….” Her shivering fingers brushed over her face and settled on her swollen lips as she spoke.

Silence filtered between them, filling the room, heightening their emotions, the only sound coming from the flickering flame in the kerosene lamp.

a glowing ember
burning hot
burning slow
deep within I'm shaken by the violence
of existing for only you

“It-it hurts too much when you leave…” she finally broke the stillness with a whisper. “I just hu-“ the words got caught in her throat, but she pushed them out “hurt… so much…”

“Luv…”

“Don’t… I just want to look at you before you leave.” Her lips came together and she forced a smile out of them.

“I’m not going to leave you.” He tried to explain.

“Yes, you will.” She replied, the vaporous smile never leaving her lips, the painful frown still settling over her eyebrows.

“No, I won’t.” he insisted, taking a few steps, causing her to back away against the damp wall.

“Please…” her eyes begged him as her tired body glided down the cold stone till she reached the frozen floor. “…don’t.”

Spike stopped dead in his track as he saw the fear growing in her, the darkness consuming her once green iris. He had never seen her so frightened and it killed him to think he was the cause of it. The tight knot in his stomach advanced up to his throat until it became unbearable.

“Please…don’t… please.” She whispered her mantra, from her cornered spot.

The black look in her pleading eyes, the way her fingers dug into her dishevelled hair while she lightly tapped her feet together reminded him of the time, a few months before, when she had been poisoned into thinking her world wasn’t real. Slowly, he kneeled in front of her, fighting the urge to just take her in his arms and hold her until it all faded away.

“Luv…” he whispered, outstretching his arm in her direction. Sure enough, she threw her body against the wall with a loud thud, crawling into a little ball; the blackness taking over her eyes once more.

“Please…” she supplicated.

“Wha-“ he swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears from spilling over. “What’s wrong? What happen?”

She didn’t answer, remaining frozen, glued to the wall.

“Luv, please… you’re scaring me… please… just tell me.” He begged her to no avail. “Buffy…” he tried to reach for her one last time, but seeing her frightened reaction he immediately recoiled his intruding hand.

They remained in silence for a while and gradually her body seemed to relax and the smile crawled over her lips once more.

“I don’t want you to leave...” She mouthed. “But I know I can’t be with you.”

I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do

“Why?” he asked with exasperation in his voice.

“Because you’re not real.” She answered simply and the smile crumbled; the tears now free to roam over her flushed cheeks.

His eyes widened at her response.

“Of course I’m real.” He forced a grin over his lips but she shook her head.

“No. No, you’re not. You’ll just leave like you always do… and-and” she clutched her hands over the leather, bringing it against her chest. “it’ll just hurt too much a-and I don’t think I can take it.”

“Buffy… Look at me. It’s me. I’m real. You know I am. Please…” the desperation was clear in his voice as she continued to shake her head in a repetitive and monotonous way. “Buffy… Listen… Buffy…” he called and called but had no answer beyond the infuriating motion of denial. “Buffy!” he finally shouted as anger spilled into him, forgetting the rules and reaching for her, grabbing her by her arms and shaking her into consciousness.

“No. Don’t touch me!!” she screamed off the top of her lungs, struggling to push him away, but she was too weak to fight. “Just leave me ALONE!”

“Buffy, look at me!” he ordered with a thundering roar, as she continued to kick and shout, pushing and pulling in every direction with blind anger.

“LET ME GO!” she panted furiously.

“LOOK AT ME!!” he growled.

Suddenly, for a second, their eyes found each other, locking their gaze as he forced her to look up.

“It’s me! I’m NOT a hallucination! I’m NOT going anywhere!” As he spoke he noticed the change in her glassy eyes, realisation seemed to dawn in them, pushing away the black; the bluish-green taking over its rightful place as she stared up at him wide eyed. “It’s me…” he breathed softly.

and I have sense to recognize but
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go

“Spike?” she looked at him as if she had just seen him for the first time that day. Her eyes overflowed with fresh tears as her arms wrapped around his neck, nearly braking it in the process.

His sour and open wounds protested against the sudden attack sending potent electric signals to his spine, causing the pain to spread across his body, but he seemed oblivious to it as he held onto her, sitting on the frozen floor.

Suddenly, her hands were all over his back, his shoulders, his neck, his chest, as if trying to test their consistency. When she was satisfied with the result she stared up at him, with a childlike astonishment ruling over her green eyes. Her lips soon smashed against his in an urgent and powerful kiss, while her hands roamed over his shoulders drawing erratic shapes across his chest. Her trembling fingers didn’t bother with finding the buttons of his white shirt, choosing to rip the strong fabric instead.

As their tongues battled for dominance in an incoherent dance, so did their hands. Pulling and pushing at every last fibber of clothing until all that was left on the floor was a mosaic of colours and textures serving as a soft bed for their hungry exposed bodies.

His fingers dug their way into her abundant locks of hair while his mouth traced the contours of her jaw down to her collarbone with furious passion, leaving a trail of red spots to attest to his passage. Urgent moans and desperate cries crawled up the walls filling the crypt as they entangled themselves in a primal rite of flesh and skin.

Thoughts whorled in her mind, leaving her in a dreamy haze where all she could feel was the soft brush of his fingers across her warm skin, the perfect match of his weight over hers… the sweep of his tongue over her exposed neck.

With a swift move of her thighs she rolled over him and he found himself lost in a maze of golden locks, which fell from her framed face to brush over his cheeks, his neck and his shoulders, encapsulating them, creating a world of their own - a shadowy world of yellows, pallid oranges and fiery reds.

A free giggle escaped her parted lips as his tongue found its way to her ear, tickling it incessantly.

“S-stop…” she managed to say between chuckled laughs.

Mercifully, he released the imprisoned bit of flesh and she sighed in relief; a smile still over her lips to match his own. She looked down on him and found him staring up at her with wide blue eyes. Amazement swam in them and she wondered how he managed to always look at her that way - as if it was the first time he was seeing her, the first time he touched her, the first time he kissed her. They remained silent as their gazes locked, the only sound disturbing the stillness being the harsh pants that she drew from her lungs. Slowly, she let her hips fall over his and it was his turn to let out a sharp gasp as he felt her warmth enveloping him, taking him in.

Suddenly, her eyelids seemed too heavy and she let them slide down over her eyes as she arched her back to its full extent. Sluggishly, she began to move. Her hips gliding up, down and back up it a slow, tantalizingly soft pace, tormenting him as the pressure built between their bodies.

Her thighs gripped his with brutal strength, pulling him in and pushing him out in the next instant in a disconcerting ritual, until it became impossible to resist the urge that spread through her body. The energy that brew between her legs suddenly spilled through her entire body, bringing to life every single particle in its path. Her head craned up as she let out a muffled scream, feeling her muscles contract and relax at a frightening pace.

He watched her, amazed, as she arched back, her naked wet form ruling over him as he felt her squeeze him with powerful force, her nails digging at his side and then he was following her, fumbling towards ecstasy. They moved in unison, clawing at each other as the energy between them consumed them, until there was nothing left; just limp flesh and bone. Exhausted, she collapsed over him; her sweat spilling over his chest.

Minutes went by and they refused to move, refused to break the spell that seemed to bind them motionlessly to each other. Gradually, the strength returned to their tired bodies and he felt her stir on top of him, her soft skin kissing his.

“Umm…” she moaned with a content smile, pushing her sagged, dishevelled mass of blond hair away from her face.

Her hands rested over his marble chest and she propped her chin over them to stare at him. He lay still, his eyes closed as if he slept.

“Spike?…” she called him with a whisper and he slowly forced his eyelids to open and looked at her.

“Yeah, luv…”

“Don’t ever do that again.” She asked him.

“Do what?”

“I’m the hero here. If someone’s dying, it’s gonna be me.”

“Hey. I had to live with knowing you were dead for 147 days, I thought you could stand it for two.” He said cocking his eyebrow when she slapped him across the chest.

“Don’t. Ever. Do that again.” She demanded with a dead serious look on her. “I nearly went insane, thinking…”

He stared at her, seeing how hard it was for her to remember what she’d gone through. With a soft reassuring voice he whispered. “I know.” His hand came to cradle her face and she leaned into his strong fingers as he continued. “Scared me half to death back there. Thought I’d lost you, luv.”

She smiled sweetly at him, pushing his impertinent curls away from his face. With some effort she moved up his chest and bushed her lips over his, ever so lightly, travelling down the path marked by his sharp jawbone until she reached his ear.

“I love you.” She breathed and he felt a chill run across his chest, threatening to take over his entire body.

“I love you too.” He whispered as she laid her head over his shoulder.

After a few minutes of silence, she propped up her chin over her hands once more and quipped:

“Spike?”

“Yeah?” he mumbled half asleep.

“Where the hell did you get those clothes?”

He chuckled back a laughter as he opened his eyes to meet her deep frown.

~The End~