Real

Everything else faded away, and all that was left was her. He blinked, feeling her in his arms. Her face against his. Her soft breath, tickling his skin. Every bit of her.

She tried to speak, tried to ask him how? But no words came out. Her mouth sat slightly agape, with no words to fill it. She lifted one of her arms from his neck, bringing it around to run her palm along his cheek. She closed her eyes. Leather and cigarette smoke filled her senses like a strong musk. Spike.

“Spike?”

Slowly, he tore his gaze from Buffy’s astonished face. Dawn wore the crazy grin only she could possess upon seeing one of her friends whom she’d thought to be dead. Reluctantly, he loosened his grip on Buffy to give the teenager a well-deserved hug. Over her shoulder, he still watched Buffy. She stared at him, as if she was seeing a ghost.

“How?” She whispered, sounding for the entire world like a small child. He reached out to her, gently. She stepped closer, nestling herself against his chest.

He couldn’t contain his smile as he held the girls. “Bit of a long story, love.”

“Come inside.” Dawn grabbed one of his hands, leading the group slowly back up the driveway.

They followed her, never averting their eyes from one another. She was scared of looking away, sure that if she did he would disappear. His eyes are bluer that I remember. She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts.

They sat down in the living room, content with the silence that surrounded them. Buffy broke their stare, turning to Dawn. “It’s late.”

Dawn nodded slowly.

“You should…probably….go to bed.” She sighed, feeling him sitting beside her.

Dawn frowned, looking over at Spike desperately.

“’S alright, pet,” he murmured. “I’m not going anywhere.”

She smiled, casting a suspicious glance at her sister before going up the stairs.

Buffy let her breath out slowly. She turned back around to Spike, confused. Reaching out delicately, she let her fingers run slowly over his face. He smiled. “You’re dead.”

His smile broadened. “Not like that’s anything new.” His forehead wrinkled with concern as the tears she’d been holding in so long streamed down her cheeks. “Buffy?”

She looked up at him. Laughing nervously, she whipped the tears away hurriedly. “You can’t just show up here, Spike.”

His face fell. Swallowing hard, he wrung his hands. “I know.” He jerked with surprise as her lips caressed his.

Buffy smiled a little as she drew back again. “Should have called first.”

“My apologies,” he snarked as she wound her fingers in his. He brushed some hair out of her face absent-mindedly.

She caught his other hand in hers, fear reflecting in her eyes. “Your real, right?” She bit her tongue. “I don’t think I could stand such a horrible dream.”

He raised an eyebrow, scooting closer to her. “I’m real.” Squeezing her hand, he ran his thumb over the back of her hand. “Promise.”

She smiled. Standing, she led him down the hall. “We have a spare bedroom over here.”

“Oh.” Spike gulped, trying to hide his disappointment. “Right then. So I’ll be seeing you in the morning.”

She turned around, frowning. “No.” They walked into the bedroom, Buffy closing the door behind them. She sat down on the edge of the bed. “Come here.”

He happily obliged, sitting beside her. They stared at each other for a few minutes, just basking. Slowly, she crawled up and under the covers. Unsure of what to do, he watched her.

“Come on,” She whispered, reaching out towards him. Kicking off his boots and laying his duster on the bedpost, he slid under the covers with her. She spooned up against him.

He shivered as he felt her silent tears sink through his shirt onto his chest. Wrapping his arms around her, he ran his fingers through her hair. “Don’t worry, love. ‘m not leaving,” he whispered. He kissed her hair gently. “I’m never leaving.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun streamed in the open window, casting a shadow on Buffy’s face. Slowly, she opened her eyes. She smiled as she felt the arm slung protectively over her waist. Real. She looked over at the window again, gasping. Jumping out of bed, she ran to close the blinds.

“Buffy?” Spike mumbled sleepily, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

She paused at the window, looking back at him. The sunlight danced in his confused eyes.

“What?”

She looked back and forth between the window and the vampire. “Huh?”

Spike grinned. He beckoned her back over to the bed. “Forgot to mention that, did I?”

She ran her fingers through his mussed curls, standing in front of him. “You aren’t poofing.”

“Nope.” He caught her wrists in his hands, pulling her down closer to him so he could look into her eyes. God Buffy, do you even know how much I missed you?

“How.” She sat down next to him, tucking her legs up underneath her slim frame.

“How am I not poofing?”

“How are you here.” Buffy cocked her head, trying to memorize every curve of his face. “I thought you were gone.”

“I was.” Inside, he debated with himself. Does this count as part of the stuff I’m not supposed to tell her? No, he rationalized, I only can’t tell her the specific reason why I came back. “Old Spike went to that bright place in the sky.”

Her eyes widened as she absorbed this information. “You were in…”

He smiled sadly at her. “Yeah.” He winced as she turned away slightly.

“Why did you come back?”

“You.” It was out before he could even process the question. Well, at least I didn’t elaborate.

She glanced at him with a look about her he couldn’t distinguish. Disgust? Sympathy? “Spike…”

“No.” He stood up, standing ironically enough right in front of the window. “I didn’t come back here for your pity, Buffy. I chose this.” He smiled involuntarily. “I’d rather be here, with you. And don’t go brushing it off like you always do because-“ He smirked. “-darn it all, I was starting to believe what you said in the cave.”

After all this time, you never even knew? She shook with the blindest pain and range imaginable. He seemed to notice, for he took another step back. “Starting?” Shocked at the waver in her voice, she continued. “You thought I didn’t mean it.”

He flinched as he realized his words had scalded her. “No, pet. I knew, even if you didn’t.”

Buffy scowled, not understanding what he meant. “What is that supposed to even mean?”

He approached her so they were less than an inch from touching. Dropping to his knees, he tried to draw her out from the deep crevice of her mind she had retreated to. “I was starting to believe that you knew you loved me.” He smiled again, ignoring how she jerked away as his fingers brushed her cheek. “But even before that, I knew. You certainly didn’t hate me that last night, did you?”

Slowly, she lifted her line of vision to cross with his. “No,” she whispered, mostly to herself. I loved you. I loved you so much I thought I’d die. So why can’t I just tell you that? “I…-“

“Bloody hell,” Spike muttered, as he looked over his shoulder in the general direction of the front door.

Sighing, Buffy stood up and walked out of the room. She walked over to the door, pulling it open when she saw Willow and Kennedy in the window. “Hey.”

“Oh, hi.” Willow waved as they stepped inside. “We just got back. Paradise isn’t as much of a Paradise as we thought.”

“What did you run into?” Buffy crossed her arms, looking back and forth between the two.

Kennedy shrugged. “Vamps, mostly. Chased a demon around for awhile, but he got away.”

Spike stepped into the doorframe, leaning against it while watching their company. ‘Ello there, Red. He smirked.

“Did you get a good look at him?” Buffy started walking towards the bookshelf.

“I…” Willow’s eyes grew wide as she noticed someone standing in the far bedroom. He was standing in the shadows, so she could only make out the general shape of him. “Buffy….”

“Hmm?” She turned back around.

Willow cocked her head. “There’s someone in the bedroom.”

Kennedy peered around her to get a look into the bedroom.

“’Hey there, girlies.”

Willow let out a small shriek at the British voice, jumping. Then she blinked a few times, in disbelief. “Spike?” It was hard to recognize him-instead of his trademark duster and bleach blond hair he had a thick sweater and overgrown, unkept brown curls. Still, it was Spike.

He smiled a little, stepping out into the shadow in the living room. Old habits die hard, I guess. He let himself relish in the fact that Buffy subconsciously stepped closer to him before turning his eyes back to Willow and Kennedy. “Long time.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2:

Nothing But Love

“Spike?” Giles stepped through the door, looking around for the vampire he’d believed to be gone.

“ ‘lo.” He nodded to him, a wry smile upon his face.

“Good lord. How-how did this…occur?”

“That’s what we’ve been trying to get out of him for the past hour,” Willow sighed from her seat on the sofa. She reached over, taking Kennedy’s hand in hers. “He won’t tell us anything.”

Spike smiled at the pout Red wore. And I don’t bloody plan to, either. He turned his attention to the Slayer sitting at his side. “Buffy?”

Her head snapped up as if he had woken her from a bad dream. She looked around dazedly, letting her focus rest on the Watcher. “Hey, Giles.” She tried to ignore the way Spike was watching her.

What’s the matter with you? He’s back; that’s what you wanted, isn’t it?

Yes, another voice in her head argued, I wanted him back. Needed him back.

Needed him? The original said. You’re the Slayer.

You aren’t supposed to need anything. It’s a weakness. Bad Buffy.

You missed him.

He’ll hurt you…

She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. No use. She was trapped in a cloud of confusion. And those eyes were bearing down on her so hard. Try as she might, she couldn’t raise herself to meet them.

“Buffy? Buffy?” Giles stood in front of her, finally bending to tap her on the shoulder.

“Huh?”

He sighed. “I was asking if you knew how this could have happened.”

She shook her head slowly. “No. Don’t know. He was just…there.” She blinked a few times.

Realizing it was fruitless, Giles turned his efforts on Spike. “You don’t remember anything? You don’t recall being anywhere?”

Spike barely heard what he was saying. She wouldn’t look at him. Why won’t you look at me? He rested his arms on his thighs, watching her avoid his gaze. Buffy?

“Giles, I think….” Willow beckoned him over to where they sat. “I think maybe they need some time….alone. They both seem kinda…” She looked over, scrutinizing them. “Wonky.”

He glanced back at them worriedly. “I suppose that might be best.” He straightened. “Will you be staying?”

“I think we’re going to go.” Willow offered him a friendly smile. “I’m sure they’ll be fine, though.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Giles muttered under his breath as he turned to leave. “Buffy?”

She raised her eyebrows, studying the carpet with an intensity that scared him. “Hmm.”

“I’ll be leaving now, if you don’t need me.”

She nodded, blinking a few times. “Okay. See ya.” He loves me. I love him. Why is it so hard?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Yeah…” Buffy sighed, pacing around the room and trying not to trip over the phone cord. “I know. Tomorrow. Okay….I’ll be fine….Yes…I’m sure, Xander.” She bit her tongue as he winced at the name. “Okay. Goodbye.” Slowly, she hung up. The house was empty. Dawn was at school. Everyone had gone. It was just them.

He cleared his throat uncertainly. “Don’t you have work, love?” Please Buffy, don’t get cold now.

“No. I took today off.”

“Why.”

She sighed. “Don’t.”

He stood up, walking over to her. She didn’t protest as he ran a hand up her arm. She didn’t encourage it either, though. “What’s wrong?”

She looked up into his eyes. Why do you love me? Why is there nothing but love and trust in your eyes? “I…”

“Tell me.” He braced himself, ready for whatever she threw at him. “Just bloody tell me.”

“I…I don’t think…I can do this.” Her voice was so low it was barely audible.

He held his breath, trying not to show the pain she caused. “Why, Buffy.”

She dropped her head. Taking his hand in hers, she lightly traced all the lines in his palm. “I just can’t.”

“No.” He jerked away, shocking both her and himself. “There’s more to it than that. I know it.” He stepped closer, daring her to back up. “And I don’t want to hurt you. But, dammit Buffy, what is it you’re not telling me?”

She bit her tongue, looking away.

“Tell me!” Spike grabbed her by the shoulders, ready to shake her if that’s what he had to do to get the truth out.

Buffy pulled away, rubbing her arms. “It hurt,” she whimpered. The tears glistened as she swallowed her fear. He looked so confused. So lost. Too late now, Buffy. “It hurt so bad I didn’t think I’d survive. I don’t even think I did.” She cocked her head at that realization. “It was…beyond pain. It was nothing. Even with Riley, with Angel…” Her voice trailed off. “I was still me. Still Buffy. They never took any part of me away when they left.” She looked back to him. “You did.”

He didn’t know what to say. Nothing could have prepared him for such a startling confession. But you didn’t say you needed me, Buffy. He pressed himself tighter against her lithe body. “And?”

She didn’t say anything for the longest time. She didn’t know what to say. Or, more importantly, how to say it. “I…I can’t, Spike. I couldn’t bear to loose you again. It would hurt too much.”

“You know I’d never hurt you.” He lowered his face so their lips were a fraction of an inch apart. He could feel her heavy breathing, her pounding heart.

“I never said you’d mean to,” she whispered. So close, but still so far away. She closed her eyes.

Spike let his fingers trail up her neck. Gently, he ran his thumb over her cheekbone. “Love?” He felt her tense under his hand. Why are you scared? His eyes widening, he repeated his pet name for her. “Love.” She squirmed, unconsciously readjusting herself against him. He took a firmer hold of her face. “Is that it?” He pulled Buffy to face him. “Are you scared of loving me?”

Buffy wanted desperately to back away from him, stand on the other side of the room, in another state practically. But something kept her close to him. She was frozen, forced to face the one person who knew her completely. Knew every weakness. Every fault. Every button that, when pushed, would cause her to self-destruct. Why is there nothing but love in your eyes? “Yes.”

He kissed her quickly, igniting within them both a flame they’d considered to be long extinguished. He let his hand slide back to run through her hair. Leaning in, he whispered to her “Will you always be scared, love?”

She felt his breath tickle against the skin of her neck. His face, brushing hers as he pulled back. His fingers, idly fondling her hair. He was smiling. “I don’t know.”

“Someone once told me something.” His smile turned into a playful smirk, as he kissed the tip of her nose.

“Really.”

His eyes glittered dangerously. He looped his other arm around her waist, murmuring into her ear. “You should always face your fears.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How Much I Care

Buffy woke up again after the sun had risen. For a while, she lay in her bed mulling over the previous night’s dream. Oh well. I’m sure it didn’t mean anything. Just a dream… Try as she might, she couldn’t shake it. She dressed slowly, putting off going downstairs.

“Morning, Love.” Spike greeted her from the table.

She smiled at the strange sight that lay before her. Obviously, he’d been up awhile. The sweater had been discarded and he was back in his trademark black t-shirt and button up. His oddly brown hair was gelled back. And he was munching on Buffalo wings out of a take out bag, reading the paper. Did he even sleep? “Good morning.”

“Sleep well, then?” He raised his eyebrows, not looking up from the oh-so-interesting business section.

Oh yeah. I slept well. I didn’t dream up scenes from porno films at all. Nope. “Uh, yeah.” Hurriedly, she went about the kitchen getting herself breakfast.

Noticing that his disinterested, paper and wings routine wasn’t working, Spike stood and followed her. “Niblet went off to school.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You have work?” He looked down at the gym bag resting next to her feet.

Buffy nodded as she swallowed a mouthful of orange juice. Spinning around quickly, she bumped into him. “Sorry.”

He took her glass and set it on the counter. As she watched confusedly, he brushed a stray piece of hair out of her face. What’s the matter?

“You’re going to be okay here today..?” Her eyes trailed off to an imaginary point behind him.

He smiled, backing off. “Who says I have to stay here? Not bursting into flames is working out quite well for me.” He went back to the table, sitting down again and grabbing another wing. “Might have me a walk about town.”

She nodded, mostly to herself. “Mmmhmm. Dawn usually gets home before I do…”

“I’ll be back for the Niblet, don’t you worry.” He smirked over his bag. “Me and her got some catching up to take care of.”

“Spike?” She stopped, her hand on the door.

“Hmm.” He stood up, licking the last traces of sauce from his fingers.

She opened her mouth, but stopped. What do I say? ‘Thanks’? I love you? I can’t stop thinking about the last night we never had? “…Never mind.”

He frowned slightly. Standing in front of her, he tried to figure out this woman who’d stolen his heart so many nights ago. Do you even know how much I care? She wouldn’t look at him. Why won’t you look at me, Buffy? She avoided his gaze as if looking directly into it would cause blindness. Great. I’m a sodding eclipse.

“Doyouthinkmaybeyoucouldtellmehowyoucamebackhere?” The words rushed of her mouth, startling him. She looked down again sheepishly as he processed it.

“Yeah, pet.”

“Oh. Okay.” She managed a brief glance. “I’d like to know.”

“Alright.” He grinned. “Tonight. We’ll go out. We can get some more buffalo wings.”

She smiled. God, how he loved that smile. “Sounds good.”

“See you then, love.” He let his fingers brush hers as she turned and went out the door.

He turned to the phone with an evil grin on his face. “Hello?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, I’m home!” Buffy kicked open the door, racing through with her various bags of groceries. The house was quiet. Too quiet. “Hello?” Setting the bags down, she went upstairs. Dawn’s room was empty. Her room was empty. No one was hiding in the linen closet or the bathroom. Downstairs, no one occupied what she now thought of as ‘Spike’s room’, and no one was in the kitchen pantry. Odd… A slip of paper on the counter caught her attention.

Frowning, she slid the note in her pocket and went back to the car. Wonder what’s wrong now…

Giles’s driveway was packed as she pulled up. Giles car…Willow’s car…Xander’s car…a little brown car I’ve never seen in my life…and a really big conversion van. Parking along the road, she hurried up to the front step. The door was unlocked.

“Hey, B.” Faith nodded from her position on the counter.

“Faith?” Buffy looked around. Not only Faith-Robin too, and a few of the girls from Cleveland who were eyeing a vampire they had tied up to a chair.

“Yeah, I know, bit of a shock for me too, having the whole bunch of us together again.” Faith grinned. “Noticed you got your vamp back.”

“Uh, yeah.” Buffy looked around for Spike, finally finding him standing in the corner. “What’s going on?”

Giles stood up from the couch. “Well, for one, these girls have come here in need of help.” He nodded to the vampire. “They’ve become completely overrun with vampires-some sort of breeding program, apparently. This one seems to know about it, though he’s not doing us much good at the moment.” He gestured to Faith and Robin. “A new breed of demon has popped up in Africa and seems fairly unkillable,” he turned back to her. “And I got more of the translations done.”

Buffy blinked several times. “…Wow.”

Spike smiled a little from his corner. “That’s what I said.”

“The world’s going mad again.” Xander nodded seriously. “We’re all going to die.”

“We’re not going to die.” Buffy raised an eyebrow. “We just have to…ration out…our…..”

“Strength?” Giles offered. “We do seem to have multiple problems.”

“One at a time.” She walked over to Giles’s pile of books. “What do you have?”

Giles held the notebook up in front of him, squinting at his handwriting. “Into each time before one was sent to save the world. One to balance the forces of light and of dark. Among them, there will be one unlike the rest. The One. She is the way to maintaining the balance for which they have fought. She will be beyond goodness or evil. To save her, the champion of heart will rise.”

Spike looked up, startled. Buffy smiled at him.

“Dark will lighten and the world will be anew as it never was. He will give himself to save them all. There will be a great battle, in which he will perish. The forces of evil will bide their time under the Earth, waiting for the time when they might rise again.” Giles looked over at the other Slayers. “The One and her army will be spread far and wide. They will face their own evils as they would-alone.” He frowned. “I don’t quite understand that last line. Only together can the balance be achieved.”

“Balance?” She sat down on the edge of the couch.

“The balance between good and evil, I’ve be led to presume.” He took of his glasses, whipping them on his shirt. “Although it also implies that you are this very balance.”

“Maybe not,” Willow piped up. “Maybe she’s…she’s just…the tool! You know, she can wave her hands and ‘poof!’ we’re all balance-y.”

Giles nodded, mulling it over.

“Problem number two?” Buffy looked around expectantly.

Robin stood up. “We’ve been traveling around, as you know. Well, we went into Africa-“

“Africa, great spot.” Spike chipped in.

“-Uh, yeah…” Robin blinked a few times. “Anyway, we came across these demons. Big. They live out in the plains. Pretty much unkillable.”

“What did they look like?” Kennedy reached over for one of Giles’s books.

“Standing up, maybe eight feet tall.” He wrung his hands. “The front….appendages are really long curved claws. The back legs are longer, stronger.”

“Looked kinda like a kangaroo…” Faith mused. She looked up at all the curious eyes. “What?”

“It did.” Robin walked around the room. “It ran similarly, didn’t bounce though.”

“Cause that would just be weird.” Buffy smirked.

“Yeah. Scale-y, tan and dark brown splotches, no ears.” He shuttered. “Small eyes in the front of the face. Seriously long tounge.”

“With venom.” Faith rolled up her arm to reveal a nasty looking wound. “Bad little suckers.”

Buffy nodded. “Okay. Big evil kangaroos. Check. Problem three?”

The Cleveland trio stood up. “The vampire’s in our town are turning everyone they run into into a vampire.”

“Ah.” Buffy smiled at the explanation. “And him?” She nodded towards the vampire.

“He seems to know what’s going on.”

Buffy walked up to him. “How about you tell me what’s going on.”

He looked up, glaring at her. “I’d rather be eaten alive by a Shereglack demon,” he hissed.

“Okay.” She punched him in the face. “How about now?”

“I’ll never tell you anything.”

“Yeah, you will.” She punched him again. “Giles, lock him up…somewhere.”

“Tub’s a good spot.” Spike smirked.

“Tub. Very good.” Giles went to fetch his chains.

“We’ll see what song you sing after a few days with no blood.” She ran her fingers through his hair, grabbing a fistful and jerking his head back.

Giles came out, fastening the chains to his ankles and wrists. Spike came over and helped drag the vampire to the bathroom. “Why do I always have to watch the evil vampires?”

“ ‘Cuz you’re the only one of this lot who can drive a vamp mad.” Spike shoved the vampire down the hall.

“I’m offended.” Giles glared at Spike.

He shrugged. “Only telling the truth, mate.”

Buffy watched the two bicker, a smile dancing on her face. Does he even know how much I care? With a sigh, she turned back to the group. “Okay. Here’s the plan…..”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blush

They sat across from one another in an uneasy silence. After revealing her practical plan, she and Spike had gone out to a little sit-down restaurant. As the waitress dropped off the onion flower, he looked up from the napkin he’d been fiddling with.

“So…this plan, are we going to go about it soon?” He looked up at her. “I mean, I just figured the Scoobies would want to sink their teeth into it a little, do the research gig…”

Buffy smiled. “No big rush. A couple of days, probably.” She tilted her head, squinting at the freshly bleached vamp that sat before her. “You made your hair all…Spike-y.”

He smirked. “Yeah. Had some spare time.” Clearing his throat, he leaned across the booth. “Do you want to know or not?”

“Huh?”

He bit his lip, for once uncertain. “I mean, that’s why you’re doing this, right? You want to know the big story of how old Spike magically popped up again?”

She nodded slowly. “I’d like to. But whether or not you’re going to tell me is a different thing. And that’s not the only reason.” She dropped her gaze as she muttered the last line of her mini-speech.

“Well.” A small, pleased smile flashed across his face. Shaking it off quickly, he got back to business. “Right then. Abridged or unedited?”

“Which one’s better?” She asked innocently, twirling her straw around in her glass of water.

“Alright, you want to be cheeky?” He growled. “I fell out of the sky, got horribly lost in Canada, called up Nancy-boy and came here.”

Buffy’s eyebrows shot up. “Huh?”

He smiled. “Fine.” He leaned back, studying his fingernails. “First thing I know, I land on this really big rock. When I finally come to, I’m in the middle of nowhere stark naked.” He paused as she smirked. “Anyway….I wander around for awhile. Eventually, I come to this campsite. Well, there’s this map there, blanket too, some marshmallows. You know. Camp stuff. So I get the map, and find out I’m in Canada-”

“How’d you get to Canada?” She interrupted, frowning.

He blinked at her. “I wish I knew. Really. Should I go on?”

Buffy blushed. “Uh, yeah.”

“-So I’m in Canada. I walk around some more, until one day I figure out I’m some sort of super vampire who isn’t poofing in sunlight.” He smirked. “That helped. Couple of days later-”

“You say later,” she interrupted again “but do you know when, really? You were gone for months.”

He shrugged. “Figure I spent a bit of that time up there-” nodding to the ceiling, he continued “-but the days really melted together. Not sure.”

“Hmmm.”

“Eventually, I see a train. So I’m running, right? And I get to the tracks, and I’m so tired, I fall asleep.” He sat up again, grinning. “And I wake up right as the train is coming down on me.”

Buffy’s eyes flew open. “Wait, you’re saying you almost got hit by a train?”

“I didn’t get hit,” he scoffed, “but it did tear my map to shreds. So now I’m out in the forest with no map. I went along those tracks for…god knows how many days, until I got to the Bay. Now, there was a boat sitting along the edge.” He held his arms out, trying to describe his boat. “A two person, old, broken row boat. One oar. Hole in the bottom. You know the kind.”

She nodded.

“So I get in this boat, patch it up a bit, and head out. Well, this sodding boat only goes maybe ten miles on a good day, and you have to add on the time you’re going in circles because of the oar. But then, maybe a week later, I came across another boat.” He stretched his arms further. “Big. Lumber boat. Lots of men onboard and a nice, fast engine. So I get on this boat, and the men want to give me a lift to…Fort Rupert.” He snickered at the name. “I got off at the nearest village though, and went into town to call an old, old friend.”

Buffy blinked, absorbing the information. “Angel. You called Angel?”

Spike nodded. “Had to. You know Sunnydale was completely gone. He was the only one I still knew would be there.” He took a sip of water, cracking his knuckles as he did so. “Well, the pansy made me beg for a few minutes before agreeing to wire me some money to fly down to LA.”

“Why LA?” She cocked her head. “Why couldn’t he just tell you to come here?”

Spike raised his eyebrows at her. “Because you didn’t tell him where you were, pet. He didn’t know.”

She inhaled sharply as she realized the truth behind what he was saying. “Yeah…sort of forgot about that, didn’t I?”

He smiled. “No worries. Still found you, didn’t I? So I go to LA, and it turns out he only brought me down to beat me up but-” he held up a finger before she could comment “-I won. So we go back to his place, he gives me a phone number and, as I discovered later on, slips some bills in my pocket.” He shook his head at the idea of his grandsire actually being generous with him. “I do a bit of sleuthing and manage to get your home address, hopped on a bus and came over.” Shrugging, he stuck his hands in his pockets to search for a cigarette. “That’s pretty much it.”

Without pausing in her thought processing, Buffy opened her purse and tossed him her pack and light. “And you just wandered the streets until you found us?”

“No, I followed your car from Giles’s.” He looked down at the cigarette, puzzled. “When did you start smoking?”

She looked down. “Oh, ah…after you left…”

His head snapped up, eyes focused on her pretty face. Slowly, a smile replaced the astonished look upon his face. “ ‘Tis alright, love. No harm in missing little old Spike.”

She blushed again. Why is it he can make me do that? She looked up, prepared to change the topic. She was thrown off guard as his fingers brushed her cheek. “Spike...”

“Shhh.” He pressed his finger to her lips, studying every curve of her face. Swallowing hard, he whispered, “I missed you, too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, were home.” Buffy pushed the door open, looking around the living room. “Dawn?”

The teenager popped her head out of the kitchen. “Oh. Hi.”

“Hi…” She looked around again suspiciously. “Okay. What did you do.”

“Nothing!” Dawn glared at her sister until she noticed Spike slip through the door. “Spike! Hey!”

“Hey there Bit.”

“You bleached your hair.”

“I did.” He cocked his head. “Summers women seem to like it, too.”

Dawn grinned, watching the red creep up her sister’s neck.

“I’m going to change before patrol…” Buffy started heading for the stairs. “Don’t…break anything.” Giving them both apprehensive looks, she went up.

“Yeah. Like we’d really break anything.” Dawn gestured around the room to the various cardboard boxes hiding in the corners. “We don’t have anything to break!”

Spike smiled, sliding down onto the sofa. “She means well.”

She crossed her arms before her, studying the vampire before her. “It’s good you’re not dead.”

He chuckled. “Yeah. It is.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I mean, yeah, alive is generally a good thing, but it is really good that you’re back…with us.”

Spike cocked an eyebrow. “Don’t catch your meaning I’m afraid, pet.”

“Buffy.” Her sister’s name came out like a sigh. “You were gone, so you didn’t see. How she was.” She turned her gaze back to him. “It was bad.”

He frowned. “Buffy’s strong, Nib. She survived a bleeding apocalypse, didn’t she?”

Dawn sat down next to him, his blue eyes bearing down on her. “Sometimes I think she didn’t.” Whipping at her face quickly, she looked away. “It changed her. Took her away.” Her fingers toyed with the edge of her shirt. “Maybe you could bring her back.”

He whistled slowly. “Nibblet…”

“I know that you guys have had your problems and you’ve done some really shitty things-” She winced as he frowned at her language. “-But I can’t help thinking she’s better off with you here. You’re good for her.”

He didn’t say anything. After a minute, she started fidgeting, more nervous with every empty tick of the clock. Finally he reached out, catching some of her hair in his fingers. Soft. Like hers. He brought the ends of the strands to his nose. Vanilla and peppermint wafted through him. He smiled. She looked at him, smiling as well though not fully understanding why. “So I’m happy you’re back, basically.”

“Got that.” Standing, he turned towards the stairs as Buffy walked down them.

“Look, I’m back.” Buffy smiled at Dawn.

Dawn gazed at Spike a moment longer. “Yeah. You’re back.”

“And I’m all Slayer-y.” She spun in a little circle.

“Always a treat.” Spike smirked, sauntering closer to her. “After all, what’s a Slayer without her mercilessly tight pants?”

Buffy reached out to push him away, laughing and trying to hide the sudden warmth in her face. “Yeah. That’s me. The Slayer who wears Hot Pants.”

He leaned closer, whispering so Dawn wouldn’t hear. “Didn’t say that was a bad thing, love.”

After giving Spike a severe glaring, she looked over to Dawn. “I’m going to be back before midnight, okay?”

Dawn nodded. “Midnight. Check.”

A concerned look crossed his face. “You’re going patrolling?”

She shrugged. “I mean, no big, just a little run of the mill walk in the dark.” She grabbed her coat off the banister.

“I’m coming with you,” Spike sighed, following her.

“Have fun killing things!” Dawn called out.

“Always,” Buffy replied. As they headed out the front door, she grabbed onto his sleeve. “Hey.”

He stopped, glancing over at her. She stood with her hands on her hips, looking exactly like the little tough Slayer she was. God, I love her.

“What were you guys talking about anyway?” She tilted her head back to gaze up at his unwavering stare.

Spike smiled softly, reaching down to take her hand. “You.”

Buffy blushed.

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