With Candy Hearts

            “Spike?” Dawn frowned at the vampire slumped by her feet. “You’re…not poofing.”

            He opened one eye, looking around in obvious surprise. “Guess not.” He looked back down at the stake again before looking up at the vampire in front of him. “Plastic?”

            It said nothing. The fear in its eyes said it all.

            “Right.” He sighed, tentatively pulling the wood from his flesh. Dawn winced at the ensuing slurp noise.

            She kneeled down, looking at the wound. “…Does it hurt?”

            “What do you think?” He snapped. The blood, now free from its limitations, poured steadily down his chest. Already he was feeling light-headed. Since when do I feel light-headed?

            “Hey.” One of the now-forgotten vampires glared at them. “Are we going to do this or what?”

            “Oh yeah.” The master vampire shook his head. He grabbed onto Dawn’s arm.

            “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Rona warned as she came out from the alley. “That girl can really scream if she wants to.”

            The clan growled as the other Slayers came out from their hiding spots.

            “Let’s do this.” Kennedy ran through the crowd, leaving a trail of dust.

            Vi easily ducted a blow, staking two vamps in the process. “It’s almost too easy when there are this many,” she mused.

            “Har har.” Spike coughed. “Hey, anyone think they could lend a hand?” He let his question go unanswered. Sighing, he managed to drag himself over to the shadows to watch the fight. Not much else I can do at the moment. He removed the duster, tearing at his sleeves to press into the hole in his chest. This is interesting. Very interesting. Without batting an eye he staked a vampire that stumbled into his lap.

            “Seven…eight nine ten…” Shannon called out gleefully. “Eleven…” A grunt escaped her as she fell to the ground.

            “Stake!” Rona held her hand out as her weapon was kicked across the street.

            Vi threw one, managing to catch another vampire in the process.

            “Twelve…”

            “How many are there, anyway?” Kennedy asked.

            “Sixty,” Spike muttered quietly. This was really starting to hurt. Great. I’m not going to explode into a cloud of dust. I’m going to die the old fashioned way. He watched the vampire that held Dawn intently. Hey you.

            The vampire’s head shot up.

            Well well well… Spike smirked. A psychic vampire. You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?

            He looked around before settling his gaze on Spike. You will know death.

            I know it quite well, actually. He struggled to his feet. Let the Bit go. Laughter filled his mind.

            You think you can defeat me? I am more powerful than anything you have ever dreamed. He gripped the terrified teen tighter. Thanks to that little red snack.

            Spike took a deep, unnecessary breath. Willow.

            Oh, is that her name?

            Damn, forgot about that. He tilted his head. Tried desperately not to think about the Slayer who was creeping up behind him. You think you’re the Big Bad?

            We will rule this town. Glaring at Spike, he didn’t notice Dawn’s awareness to Rona and her stake.

            That’s what they all say. He smirked at the shocked expression on the vampire’s face as he turned to dust. Dawn, now free, jogged over to where he leaned against the building.

            “Are you alright?” Her fingers rested gently against his chest as if she was afraid of hurting him. He shrugged, wincing at the pain it caused him. “We have to get you cleaned up.”

            “No.” He pulled two stakes from his duster, handing her one. “We finish this.” He turned to look out into the construction site.

            “Seventeen…”

            “Will you shut up?” Vi staked her last opponent, annoyed, not ready to admit the only reason she wanted her to shut up was because she had only killed twelve.

            Rona looked around, confused. “I thought there were sixty.”

            Kennedy blushed crimson. “I, um, killed twenty...”

            Rona started calculating. “Twenty. And I got nine...” She turned to the other girls.

            “Eighteen!” Vi jumped up, flushed from her fight.

            “Twelve.”

            “That gives us…” She paused, working the numbers in her head. “Fifty-nine.”

            Spike suddenly spun around, staking the vampire that was creeping up behind them. “Make that sixty.” The girls looked at him, loosing their congratulations at the sight of his stake wound.

            “I think we need to go home,” Dawn suggested, letting the weakened vampire lean on her.

            “Good idea.” Kennedy beckoned to the other girls to head on back to the apartment. She paused at the funny look Spike was giving her. “What?”

            “Red,” He said, hating the way her face paled. “That vampire said he drained Red.” Now whether he drained her physically or mentally is a whole other problem…

            The girl nodded. Without a word, she walked faster towards their building. And their phone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            *** She was standing over her, smiling. Her hair was the color of spun gold-her features soft and child-like. Gently brushing the hair away from her face. “You have to wake up now, dear.”

            “Why?” Buffy pouted, sitting up in the small, warm space.

            The girl smiled again. “You are not meant to be here yet. It isn’t time.”

            “Time?” She peered up into the bright face. She didn’t understand.

            “You have to go back,” she purred softly. “It wouldn’t do any good now, after all we’ve done, would it?”

            Buffy squinted at her. “Do I know you?”

            She laughed. It was high and silvery. “Let’s just say I’m a friend of an…acquaintance of yours.” Coming closer, she laid a hand upon Buffy’s shoulder. “But I won’t always be there to save you.”

            “Wait!” She reached out, clinging to her arm. It felt like she was leaving…she didn’t want to leave… “I don’t understand. Why are you here?”

            The girl backed away, the light surrounding her. “You will know. In time, you will know.”***

            “Thank goodness, you’re awake.” A man approached her bed. “I was beginning to think you’d sleep forever.

            Buffy blinked at the harsh hospital lights. “Faith…” She sat up abruptly. “Where’s Faith?”

            “The girl you came in with? Down the hall.”

            “Is she alright?”

            “Yes.”

            “Where am I?”

            The man grinned. “Benin City Hospital.”

            Her eyes widened. “How’d I get down here?”

            He laughed. “You’ve been asleep for three days. You were at a local hospital in Kano, but they flew you here for better treatment.”

            “Oh.” She looked around the room.

            “That reminds me…” He reached over, taking a letter and a cell phone from the table. “Your cell phone has been going off the whole time. Not just one or two calls a day, we’re talking constant. And this letter arrived for you.” He slowly handed them to her. “If you feel up to it, you might want to tell your loved ones you’re alright.”

            “Thank you,” she said quickly as he left. Holy crap she thought, looking at the messages. Then she looked to the envelope. I know this handwriting…With shaky hands, she opened it.

Dear Buffy-

I don’t know what to say. No words could really fit what I want to tell you. So before I go off on some poetic babble, I think I should be blunt. You know I love you. I think you’ve become quite used to it, actually. I’ve always dreamt of someday holding you, kissing you, having you. I’ve always wanted that more than anything. Hell, I gave up my life for you. And reclaimed it for the same reason.

Buffy, my heaven was hell without you there. Literally. Being without you and knowing I wouldn’t be there to watch you live, it was unbearable. I couldn’t exist without you. You’re my life. I’m a stupid wanker who will probably never be able to admit that orally, but it doesn’t make it any less true. You changed me.

I know you far better than you think I do. I know you’re scared of getting hurt again. I know you don’t like people knowing you’re not Super Girl. I know you’ll hide every negative thought in your pretty little head until you explode. I know you don’t like having to live in the gray of what should be a very black and white world. I know you’re sexy without meaning to be and you can’t, for the life of you, figure out why. And I know that you don’t want any one person to know it all-you don’t want someone near you, for fear of them not loving what they see. And I know you hate to be scared. Wait-don’t rip this into little shreds just yet. I have a point. I know you inside and out; every quirk, every fault. And I love you all the more for them. I love the little y’s you put on the end of every other word and your hyper activeness. I love how everyday life confuses the hell out of you. I love how your lip trembles when you’re scared and how it curls when you’re upset. I love that cute, innocent little Buffy you keep hidden so well behind your tough Slayer shell. I love the fact that you would rather suffer than disappoint the people you love. I love your annoying sense of morality. And god knows I love the way you blush and look away when you’re embarrassed.

Well, this has turned into a bit of a sonnet. I could go on for hours, if you wanted. But why do it in the security of a letter when I could do it face to face in all its embarrassing glory? Come home soon, love. I’ll be here. With candy hearts.

                                                                                                                 Spike

She refolded the letter in a daze. He…He… She looked at the cell phone. She could call Xander. Or Giles. Or Willow or the girls in Cleveland. She dialed her own home.

            BRRRING

            BRRRING

            “Hello?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Spike looked up as the phone rang. “You got that?”

            “Yes.” Giles picked up the phone. “Hello?” He started choking.

            “What?” He watched the Watcher intensely.

            “Are you alright?” Giles said quickly. He looked over to the anxious vampire on the couch. “Buffy,” he whispered.

            Dawn reached out to grab him as he sprang up. “Hold on.” She pulled him back down, picking up the alcohol swab again. “I’m not done.” Using one hand to hold him down, she dabbed at his chest.

            “Don’t see why you’re doing that,” he grumbled while watching the phone. “What with my ‘amazing healing abilities’ and all.” Actually, he was surprised at how slowly the wound was healing. Nearly four days after he was injured, it was still troubling him enough for his Nibblet to be looking after.

            She tried to read his face as she taped a new patch of cotton to his skin. It was etched with worry and apprehension. “Spike?”

            She really needs to get out of here more often, he thought as he looked at her. The girl had seen things no one should ever see, been through more apocalypses than she could count, and cleaned more vampire wounds than possible. He offered her a trademark smirk.

            “Spike.” Giles stood, holding the phone out.

            Hi Buffy. Glad you’re not dead. No. Buffy! Are you okay? Well, obviously…He wracked his mind for something clever to say as he took the phone.

            “Spike?”

            “Buffy.” The word came out more like a long, happy sigh than an actual name.

            “Hi.” She sounded weak.

            “Are you okay?” The question was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

            “I…I think so. I don’t really know what happened.”

            “Two legs? Two arms? Twenty digits of various types?” He couldn’t help himself. Anything just for a laugh. Anything just for a smile…

            Her giggle could be heard across the ocean. “Yup.”

            “Good.” He smiled to himself. “That’s good.”

            “I…um…” He could hear her soft breathing against the mouthpiece. “I got your letter.”

            He stayed silent. If she really has something to say, I’m sure not going to interrupt her. He noticed, with another smile, she had realized she had been breathing into the microphone. Even though she kept it away from her mouth, he could still hear the gentle rush of air escaping her lips as she waited for his response. “Oh.”

            She sighed softly. “I’m coming home.”

            “Oh?” He frowned. Was she really that badly hurt? “Sure you’re alright, love?”

            Silence.

            “Buffy.”

            “…I won’t be winning any beauty contests for awhile,” she decided finally. She’s trying to soften the blow. She’s hurt.

            “Like you even need to try.” Clearing his throat awkwardly, he forged on. “You’ll both be back, then?”

            “For awhile.” Another pause. “We need to figure out what to do with these things.”

            “Like you should have in the first place.” He let his anger towards her rash decision show for the first time.

            “Huh?”

            “Do you realize how easily you could have been killed?” The words tasted bitter on his tongue, but it was the way he felt.

            She sighed again. “I…I just want to come home. We can talk about it later.”

            “I’m not forgetting,” He warned her.

            “I know.”

            He smirked, looking over at Dawn and her medical supplies. “We have a lot to talk about.”

            There was a smile in her unusually quiet voice. “Really now? Don’t tell me you all got into trouble when I was away.”

            “You don’t know the half of it.”

            “Great,” She said sarcastically. “I’ll call again with the flight information later.”

            “Alright.” He paused, suddenly very aware of the people in the room. “Love you,” he murmured.

            She smiled again softly. ‘In time, you will know…’ “I’ll be home soon.” With an afterthought, she added, “With candy hearts.”

            Spike barley noticed as she hung up. He was too busy grinning like an idiot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Strong

            “Ow! Hey! Watch the drink cart!” Faith grumbled. She had her ankle-complete with brace-propped up on the arm of her seat. How the hell did I manage to break my ankle anyway? The last thing she remembered was trying to stake the demon. Then she passed out, and woke up hours later in another, smaller airplane. With a broken ankle. And an incredibly sore back.

            Buffy, who had been gazing out the window at the ocean, turned to watch her. The girl was now attempting to open a bag of peanuts. I swear, if that girl was ever forced to do one thing for too long… A wry smile crossed her face as bad thoughts crossed her mind. No. Bad Buffy. Don’t even think it. Too late. The image was there. Faith, in the middle of the night, curled up next to Robin, trying to open a bag of peanuts. She giggled.

            “What’s so funny, B?” Giving up on the snack, the brunette crunched on the ice in her cup. The little Slayer just smiled, shrugging tiredly. Since when has she ever been tired? Her eyes traveled over the girl’s small frame. Since when have her hands been covered in battle scars? Since when has she looked so thin? When did she…grow up?  

            Buffy tried to figure out exactly what she was looking at. She gave up fairly quickly, turning her attention back to the window. The minute I know what’s going through her mind is the minute Spike dies his hair black. Another smile tugged at her lips with the change of topic. Her fingers gently brushed the letter she had concealed in her lap. Her mind softly reminded her of the words it contained. ‘I’ll be here. With candy hearts.’ Just for a second, can I let down my guard? She thought, hoping the waves beneath her held some sort of answer. Just for a while, can I care? Shifting uncomfortably, she remembered the actual reason for returning home. In her phone call, she hadn’t mentioned the fact both of her legs were in light casts, having been ripped to shreds by the demon and then operated on in hopes of repairing some of the damage. Or that she had gotten eight stitches in her cheek. Or the bizarre break the doctors had discovered in her hand. Well, they’ll know soon enough. We land in…she looked down at her watch. Three hours. Actually, they weren’t even landing in Nevada. They had a layover in Virginia. So really, it was more than three hours. Yes. And that’s all I need. A little more than three hours to figure out what I’m going to say to hi-… to them. Supposedly, a lot had occurred in the time they had been away. Neither Giles nor Spike had so much as hinted what it was, though. And there was the whole I’m Sorry I Ran Off And Nearly Got Myself And Faith Killed speech to plan. Surprisingly, when on the phone it seemed Spike was actually more pissed off than Giles. Is that possible? She mused. Giles was like a father to her. He was…well; he was expected to stay up half the night, worried for her safety. It was his duty as a Watcher, and as her surrogate dad. But Spike? I don’t want him to worry about me. And now, it was evident that he had. A lot. And when you’re worried for so long, you tend to get a bit grumpy. There had been concern in his voice, yes, but something else, stronger, hidden. He was mad.

It’s just because he loves you, a voice within her pointed out. He was scared for you. He doesn’t like being scared.

Neither do I, she silently argued, but I’m okay. We’re both okay.

Not the point… it replied in a singsong tone. He was scared because you took a risk like that. And you know it.

That’s my job. I’m a Slayer.

And you’ve already died what, three times? Why not tack a fourth on there?

I’m careful.

Oh really? Admit it; Part of you wants it. She shivered at the familiar words. Part of you yearns for it.

If I’m ‘yearning’ for anything, it sure as hell isn’t death. The thought popped so suddenly into her head she jumped.

“Must have been some dream,” Faith commented.

“Hmm? Oh, I wasn’t sleeping.” She muttered. “Just thinking.”

“Well, I think I’m going to try and get some Z’s in.” Faith readjusted her chair, grabbing a pillow from the overhead storage. “Wake me when we land, k?”

“Sure…” Buffy bit her tongue. Felt the soft paper against her skin. The bag of candy settled deeper into her pocket. Back to dreamland I go…“When we land.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            “Is this too much?” Willow asked from behind her bouquet of balloons. She squeezed Kennedy’s hand excitedly.

            Xander shook his head. “Nah. I’m sure it’s just what the girls expect; a little airport embarrassment.”

            Spike snorted. Why the whole Scooby gang had to tag along to what he had hoped to be a very private reunion was above him. The girl beside him noticed his contempt, and smiled. “What?”

            A slight blush accompanied Dawn’s smile. Does she get that from her sis? “Nothing.” She wrung her hands nervously. “Buffy’s coming home.”

            “Yeah.” An awkward silence. Go on you git, say something!

            “I think it’s good,” she said slowly. “I mean, with everyone back together.” She managed a few seconds of eye contact before staring at the floor. It caused him to smirk.

            “Flight 772 from Alexandria, Virginia to Las Vegas, Nevada has now arrived at gate 9. Flight 772, gate 9.”

            “Good lord.” Giles stood to pace again. “They’re here already?”

            “Already?” Robin looked up from his newspaper. “We’ve been here for over two hours, Rupert.”

            Ignoring the comment, he looked up as people began getting off the plane. People he didn’t know.

            “Are you sure this is the right gate?” Dawn asked quietly as the stream of people passed them.

            Spike nodded, gesturing to the gigantic GATE 9 on the wall. Calm down. Your heart hasn’t beaten for over a hundred bloody years, it’s not going to pop now. ‘Sides, you’ve got to be strong for the Little Bit.

            Faith was the first to come off. On crutches. “Hey!” The group rushed up to her, barely giving her and Robin space to do the traditional I’m Glad You Didn’t Die hug.

            Spike didn’t want to think about what had happened to Buffy when he saw how beat up she was. The way she flinched at everyone’s hugs. Or even taking a deep breath. Come on Buff, step out of that bloody plane so we can get this over with. He shifted from foot to foot. Step off that plane so I know you’re alright.

Inside the plane, Buffy slid from her seat to the wheelchair the airline had provided her with. She was absolutely terrified. She couldn’t go out there, to all those people, like this… Damn it, I’m not going to cry just because I got a little hurt. She looked back at her still legs. Okay. Maybe a lot hurt.

            “Do you need any help, miss?” A stewardess strode down the aisle towards her.

            “No thank you.” With another deep breath, she offered the woman a smile. “Lead the way.” Grabbing the wheels, she turned herself and began rolling towards the gate. Come on, Buffy. Be strong. You have to be strong.

            “Listen.” Faith pulled back from the group. “We got more than a little beat up over there, so…” Her voice faded as everyone looked towards the gate. Turning her head, she found Buffy, in the wheelchair, coming towards them.

            “Hi,” she whispered. Try as she might, she couldn’t look any of them in the eye.

            Dawn smiled, pretending not to notice her sister’s sudden immobility. “Buffy!” Leaning over, she hugged her. “I’m so glad you’re back.”

            “Me too.” She managed to share a glance with her sister. All the while trying not to notice the one person who was looking at her with love instead of worry.

            “How-how was your flight?” Willow asked as they all moved towards baggage claim.

            “Fine.” Why won’t any of you say anything? She shrugged. “Long. But that generally comes with flying from Africa.” Small, uncertain smiles fluttered among them. Fake masks that covered up the shock they still wore from seeing their Buffy, their strong Buffy, incapacitated.

            “Why don’t you all go and fetch the luggage.” Spike suggested quietly, stepping up behind her. Give the poor girl some air. Can’t you see she’s drowning? Reluctantly, they left the two of them. He sat down on a bench a few feet from her. Tried not to smirk as she wheeled herself closer.

            “Hi,” she murmured again sheepishly. A slow grin captured him. Why is it you’re always the only one?

            “Hi.” Reaching over uncertainly, he brushed his hand with hers. And was pleasantly greeted by a warm, inviting grasp. He edged closer. “You alright?”

            He wasn’t wondering about her legs. He wasn’t questioning the bandage on her face. He acted as if the cast encircling her hand didn’t exist. He just wanted to know if she was alright. Why is it only you who can see me? “I’ve been better,” she answered truthfully. Her hand slipped away from his for a moment to dig the small pink box from her pocket and set it on her lap.

            He smiled again as he noticed the candy. His box sat at home on the kitchen table, momentarily forgotten. A long, exhausted sigh escaped him. “Glad you’re home, love.” His fingers found hers once more.

            Something was wrong. Something about the vampire in front of her was…off. She frowned slightly.

            “Something wrong?” His eyebrows shot up at the oddly concerned look he was receiving. What do you see, pet?

            “…Are you okay?” Without realizing it, she had stretched her arm out further and now found herself placing her hand on his chest. And feeling the slightly bulky bandage beneath the shirt. Her eyes widened.

Quickly, he drew her hand away. “Never better,” he reassured her. Too bad she can see right through me. He sighed again. “You missed a lot, love.” “Apparently.” She leaned back in her chair, still scrutinizing him. She let out a little yelp as a suitcase was plopped down in front of her.

“Sorry,” Xander said quickly, bending over to look at her. “Did I hurt you?” The instant the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them. Her eyes glazed over in plain, uncontrollable anger as she started rolling towards the main doors. “Buffy!”

“Leave her be, you git.” Spike grabbed the bag, glaring daggers. He took off after the petite blonde. What with a broken hand pushing one wheel, it didn’t take him long to reach her. “Buffy.”

She stared straight ahead. “I want to go home,” she pouted. Whoops. Forgot he likes it when I pout. She drew her lip back in quickly.

“What a coincidence.” He leaned over, sweeping her up into his arms before she could protest. “That’s just where we’re going.”

For a moment she was too upset to say anything. Her pride, after all, did not tolerate being carried around by Spike. It was humiliating. It was degrading. And if she let him do it now, he’d probably try it again. But there really wasn’t much she could do about it at the moment…and he did smell good, after all. Still covered in leather and cigarette smoke and…blood? She’d forgotten his chest. Again, she pressed her palm to the wound. His still chest seemed to jump at her touch. Just for a while, can I care? Maybe this wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t like the car was parked very far off. And the evening breeze felt good against her face. Relaxing, she let her forehead rest against his shoulder. Just for a little bit, can you be the strong one?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            She slept the entire way home. Her friends kept saying things like ‘oh, gotta love that jetlag’, and ‘she’s probably just tired’. But he knew that, most likely, she was just trying to avoid them. The moment she’d gotten off that plane he could tell she hated having them there. Hated having them see her like that. Crippled. Weak. When she was the strongest one among them. Poetic irony strikes again.

            He rode with Giles and the Nibblet home. Funny how crowded the living-or un-living-conditions had become. Rather than driving the fifty some miles daily, Xander had begun staying on Giles’s couch. Robin also resided with him, for obvious reasons-to have him living under the same roof as the vampire was just stupid. When he had been away Willow had invaded what he had begun to think of as his room, and he hadn’t had the heart to kick her out now that he was back. Plus Kennedy was in there now too, and he really didn’t want to get on the bad side of a Slayer and a powerful Witch on the same day. He had taken the fold out couch quite happily, considering.

            “Spike?” The quiet voice brought him abruptly from his daydream.

            “I’m here, love.” He gently brushed her hair back, feeling her warm skin against his hand.

            “And where’s here, exactly?” She squinted up at him. Good lord, she is cute.

            “Back at your house. Your room.” Spike noticed he might have just placed himself between a rock and a hard place. “I, um, was just waiting for you to wake up-” Her smile cut him off.

            “Okay,” she whispered. She took her good hand and grabbed his shoulder, pulling herself up painfully. After a moment she patted the bed next to her. Smiled again as he took of his boots before sitting down on top of the covers next to her. “What happened when we were gone.”

            He turned his head to look at her. She was just staring up at him with those big green eyes that made him feel like if he looked at them any longer he was going to melt into her-well well, William the Bloody Awful Poet rears his ugly head again. He cleared his throat. “Lots of bad things. Vampires. Kidnappings. Near-death experiences. Oh, another impending apocalypse.” His eyes twinkled mischievously.

            She sighed. Slowly, she took his arm and draped it around herself. A small, private smirk appeared on her lips. Why use a couch cushion when you’ve got the real thing?  She dropped an arm around his waist, closing her eyes. My Spike pillow. “Can it wait till tomorrow?” She murmured.

            Another lump surfaced in his windpipe. He tilted his head so his face was buried in her golden tresses. “Course,” he whispered gruffly into her ear. She hummed against him. He swore he could feel her smile into his chest. She was asleep a moment later. “It can wait.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One Night’s Rest

            The first thing he noticed as he opened his eyes was the picture of Dawn and Buffy on the nightstand inches from his face. ‘ello girls…He rubbed his sleep filled eyes, a smirk beginning to form on his lips. The second was the fact that he was in her bed, alone. Spike sat up abruptly. No! Not after all this time, not after all of that… He scanned the room desperately. She wasn’t there. Don’t tell me after all we’ve been through, you’ve left me alone again.

            “Hey,” she said quietly as she rolled in through the partially closed door. To her delight, he was awake. Finally. She paused as she noticed the odd look he wore. “Everything okay?” Carefully, she moved up beside the bed.

            “…Peachy.” He muttered, suddenly deciding the floral print of her comforter was horribly interesting.

            Buffy sighed. Reaching over, she cupped his chin in her palm. Tried not to notice the way he was clenching his jaw. “Spike. What is it.”

            Defenseless under her touch, it was all he could do not to lean over and shower her in kisses. “Nothing.” Quieter, he added, “Thought you’d gone…”

            If any bit of her had any inhibitions towards the man in front of her, they officially disappeared as she witnessed the doubt in his blue eyes. She pulled him closer. “Not gone.” Enjoying the way he shivered even when he couldn’t feel the cold, she let her other hand come up to trace those impossibly perfect cheekbones. “Not going.”

            His eyes widened in disbelief. A soft chuckle escaped him. Trying to control the purr she was creating in him, stroking him like that, he gazed deep into her eyes. “Alright.” Hmm. That came out much huskier than intended. “Alright,” he tried again. Her giggling certainly didn’t help him any. What the hell am I supposed to say?

            Watching his mouth silently open and shut was certainly amusing to the blonde as she shifted in her chair. He noticed apparently and lifted her out into his lap. I knew he’d keep doing that… Oh well. For some reason it didn’t particularly bother her. Absent-mindedly, her fingers wandered down to his chest. And to the bandage on it. She frowned as she tugged at his shirt to look at the wound. “What happened.” Cutting him off, she let her fingers work the tender skin around the medical tape. “And don’t give me any macho excuse you’ve got prepared. What. Happened.”

            Spike smirked. I do believe you know me too well, love. Sighing, he tenderly peeled away the dressing. And frowned down at the scar on his chest. What the…? Four days of oozing and scabbing, all healed up in one night’s rest? “Got staked.” He tried to read her ever-turbulent eyes. “What?”

            She let the information sink in slowly. “St-Staked?” Did I hear him right? She shook her head incredulously. “You got staked?” 

            Silently, he nodded.

            “But…” A confused frown finally surfaced on her features. “Stake.” She gently put a finger in the center of the scar. “Heart.” Her finger traveled up to catch him under the chin. “Vampire.”

            The smirk turned into an all-out smile. “Indeed. Has had me-and all the Scoobies, for that matter-puzzled as well.”

            “What exactly happened when I was gone?” she asked suspiciously. He moved her from his lap to the bed so she could watch him explain.

            “Right.” He cleared his throat. “Well, it all started out in Cleveland…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            She had been eerily quiet ever since the end of his story. Which had been about ten minutes ago. “Love?” He reached over to touch her arm. No response. “Buffy?”

            “Hmm?” Jumping at the cold hand against her skin, her eyes finally settled on the concerned face before her. “So let me get this straight… you beat up a vampire, got really, really drunk, spied on some other vampires, found out they were planning on capturing my sister, bumped into a warlock vampire who had teleported himself and Dawn, and then let him stake you.”

            “That’s about right.” He nodded. “ ‘cept you left out the bit where Red participated in a magical smack down.” Hmm. It didn’t seem like his jokes were lightening the mood at all. Considering that the little scowl that had been tugging at her mouth all morning only deepened at his quip. “You alright there?”

            She shook her head. “Of course.” Busying herself by unwrapping the gauze around her legs, she asked nervously. “Why-I mean, um, why did you let them…”

            “Stake me?” He finished for her. “They were going to hurt Dawn.” Insert defensive shrug here. “No time to pull her out of the way, only thing I could do was jump in front of her.” At this point, he took her hands away from their present task so he would be sure to have all of her attention. “I told you, love. I swore I would protect her. And I did.” There. That seemed like a good answer. The best, as a matter of fact. So why is she looking at me so sadly?

            She forced herself to smile. A hard, fake, plastic smile she knew he would see right through. “Thank you,” she managed. Again, he would probably see right through her. She could tell even without looking at him. The way his fingers softly caressed her own was warning enough. “Just…” This is stupid, Buffy. Why even mention to him that you don’t want to loose him? Why tell him you were scared? Hesitantly, she looked up into his eyes. And suddenly, she knew why. “I don’t want to loose you again,” she blurted out.

            Spike smiled. Before she could explain or apologize or even blush, he pressed his lips softly to hers. Surprise rocked her body as he pulled away. Pushing down the ever-rising lump in his throat, he swung himself around to sit cross-legged in front of her. “Don’t want to loose you either,” he murmured. A hushed moment quickly ensued. What did you expect, really? Did you think she was going to tell you she loved you? Did you think she’d forget all of those times she’s been hurt? Did you think she was just going to drop all of her old habits and fling herself into your arms? Did you think-his mental rant was cut short by her gentle kiss.

            Why she chose that particular moment to kiss him, she had no idea. All she knew was that suddenly their mouths were together again, and she had been the one to provoke it. Tenderly, she let her lips caress his. After the initial shock, he cautiously let his tongue brush against hers. Just a moment, no more, but it left her far less composed than she would have liked. Her response was not nearly as cautious.

            How long they sat there, kissing like that, was unknown to him. Could have been an hour. Could have quite possibly been a minute. Hell, it could have been fifteen seconds. But it would have been fifteen seconds of pure and total bliss. When they finally separated, they were both gasping for breath. No matter that one of them didn’t even need it.

            With a content sigh, she let herself slump back against the headboard. Neither one of them moved for what seemed like an eternity. Remembering her original task, she went back to unwrapping her legs. And trying not to notice the intensity with which he was watching her do so. Endless minutes passed as she removed layer after layer, bandage after bandage. She stopped as she neared the last layer. They said it wasn’t pretty. They said I should give it time to heal. Her eyes went back to him. As if he could read her mind, he turned his gaze elsewhere. Slowly, she peeled off the wrappings. Looked down at her damaged legs. And let out a surprised squeak at the red scars that lay in front of her. What the…? She had watched them change her dressings before coming back to the states. They had been gross; all pussy and swollen and disfigured…all healed, in one night’s rest? Damn. The role of fresh gauze was on the dresser. And out of her reach. “Could you pass me that gauze, please…”

            Standing automatically, he retrieved the bandaging in question and returned to her. With a hesitant glance he began rolling it around her ankle. Funny; she seemed to be healing remarkably fast. Even with her Slayer abilities. “ ‘s not that bad, love,” he reassured her. Slowly, he began to travel up her leg. Always watching her reaction to him. Always aware of whether or not she wanted him there with her. “Buffy…” A small smile surfaced momentarily as he caused her to shiver with his cold hands. “How did this happen?”

            Buffy shrugged. “The demon. The Betugk demon. We hit one with the Jeep…” her voice began to trail off. “It broke through the bottom. Scratched me.” She giggled shyly. “Okay. It more than scratched me.”

            “How did you get away?” He was up to her knee now. Without even realizing, he ran his fingers slowly over the back of the joint.

            Trying desperately to ignore his touch, she shrugged again. “Don’t know. It stabbed me-” she lifted the edge of her shirt to reveal another bandage. “-and then I passed out. I woke up again in the hospital, days later.”

            “And Faith?” He finished with the left leg and moved on to the right. Teasingly, he ran a fingernail along the bottom of her foot.

            She let out a soft yelp. “Hey!” Once he had stopped tickling her, and she had given him the appropriate glares, she shrugged for the third time. “Again, I don’t know. She said that she passed out too, and woke up on the plane. She wasn’t out as long as I was.”

            “So neither one of you know who saved you,” he clarified.

            A memory suddenly came back to her. “Wait!  I…I think I had a dream or something.” Ignoring the confused look, she bit her lip. “At least I think I did. It was…I don’t know how to describe it.”

            Spike sighed. “What was it?” He let his fingers brush out imaginary wrinkles in the fine fabric as he stretched it over her small leg.

            “I was in this…place. A white room, I think.” She frowned in concentration. “There was this girl. I don’t know who she was. She said something…how she couldn’t always save me…”

            His eyes widened. Girl? “A girl. Do you…do you remember what she looked like?”

            She shook her head. “Not really. Long blond hair, maybe. She almost…glowed.” More of the dream was coming back to her now. “And she said she knew someone I knew.”

            If it were necessary for him to breathe, he would have stopped at that last phrase. “Someone you knew.” Pretending to mull it over in his head, he tucked the last bit of gauze around her.

            “I could have just been hallucinating, though,” she added quickly. And he doesn’t need to know about his cameo appearances now, does he?

            “Of course.” Nodding far more than was necessary he stood again. The first aid kit was still sitting open, so he helped himself to a fresh cotton pad and medical tape. All underneath the intense scrutiny of her gaze. “Just going to clean up your other…” he tried to explain.

            Silently she pulled her shirt up more. He sat down in front of her again, gently removing the old bandages. Only to expose a fresh, tender looking scar. Odd…Forgetting it quickly, she watched him go about his work. Always being careful not to hurt her. As he finished, she let her good hand catch his. “Thanks.” For taking care of me, for staying with me, for sending me letters and saying that you love me…she silently added.

            “Anytime, love.” Repositioning himself, he took a deep, if unnecessary, breath. No more waiting, he thought. After all, he’d said it more than once already. What’s the harm in stating the obvious one more time? He was about to declare his undying love yet again. He was set to stay right there across from her until she said those three little words he so badly needed to hear. He’d wait all bloody day, if need be. He was prepared for any rejection that might come his way. Any little doubt or fear. What he wasn’t prepared for was another soft kiss; lay upon him so delicately it nearly destroyed him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            “Buffy!”

            “You’re awake!”

            “Are you alright?”

            She blushed fiercely as he carried her down the stairs. After hearing his horror stories of having to drag the chair up them once, she figured it might be easier just to let him do what he probably would have done anyway. Still, it wasn’t exactly pleasant to come down to a full house.

            Dawn quickly scooted over, leaving a spot for two on the couch. “How ya doing, Buff?”

            Settling in amongst the cushions, she smiled. “Been better.” Leaving it at that, she looked around to all her friends. “What’s with the gathering?”

            Xander looked up at her. He tried to ignore the arm that was still draped around his best friend. “We were just talking about those demons. Didn’t figure you’d be up yet…” He gestured towards the anxious looking redhead beside him. “And Willow found out more about the prophecy!”

            She turned her head towards her friend. “Willow?”

            “Um, well, I did... sort of…” Willow walked quickly towards the table where her notebook sat. “I was able to figure out more of the translation, and more about the book. It’s set in chapters, I think. What I have translated is most of chapter one. I think.” In a quieter tone, she began to read. “ ‘Into each time before one was sent to save the world. One to balance the forces of light and of dark. Among them, there will be one unlike the rest. The One. She is the way to maintaining the balance for which they have fought.’”

            “Believe we’ve heard this bit, Red,” Spike interrupted.

            “I know.” She glared at him. “Just, let me finish, okay? There are… changes. ‘She will be beyond goodness or evil. To save her, the champion of heart will rise. Dark will lighten and the world will be anew as it never was.’”

Buffy looked over silently to the man sitting next to her. The world will be anew as it never was.

“ ‘He will give himself to save them all. There will be a great battle, in which he will perish. The forces of evil will bide their time under the Earth, waiting for the time when they might rise again. The One and her army will be spread far and wide. They will face their own evils as they would-alone. Only together can the balance be achieved.’ Okay. Here’s the new part.” Making sure she had everyone’s attention, she continued. “ ‘Alone will they go towards small victories. Alone shall they die. Without completion, each shall spiral down into the fiery pits as evil grows impatient and shows itself. Risen again, he will fight for one dear.’”

Spike looked over silently to the two women beside him. Risen again he will fight for one dear, eh?

“ ‘The armies of the dark will keep hidden the answer, keep hidden the key to their being. They shall rise up in their numbers and be spread to keep apart the forces. As long as they remain unbalanced, so shall the armies succeed in their quests. Dark is held as long as light remains; without her it devours. And the world will become hell. She will fight, but she will fall. Without heart, she will fall.’” Finishing, Willow looked around the confused room. “I don’t really know what the new part means. It keeps mentioning balance and togetherness, but it never says of what.”

“Prophesies can be that way,” Giles sighed. “Very useful once you figure out what the hell they actually mean.”

The rest of the group, stunned by the British-man’s harsh language, stayed quiet for some time. Finally, Spike piped up. “Red. Is there anything else?”

“No.” She shook her head. “I mean, yeah, there’s more, but I haven’t figured it out yet. The languages keep changing; evolving within the text almost. It’s pretty hard to follow.”

“But it’s basically a book about B, right?” Faith, silent until now, pointed out.  

Willow frowned. “I don’t know. It does have a lot to do with Buffy. But that’s just the first chapter. Besides-” She glanced back to her notebook again. “-I think there’s a mention of Spike in here too.”

Buffy tried hard to ignore to poignant stare the brunette was sending her way. “Is there anything else?”

Giles shrugged. “Well, no. We still don’t know how to kill these demons, and there’s really no way of narrowing down what ‘a one tool crafted before the time of steel’ actually is. I think we are, how would you say, stuck in-between a rock and a hard place?”

She sighed. “Guess so. But hey-at least we only have that to deal with now. I mean, the Cleveland job’s done, so…” Noticing the way everyone was avoiding looking at her, she frowned. “That’s not the reason you’re all over here, is it,” she muttered quietly.

“We just wanted to make sure you’re alright,” Xander offered.

She stiffened. “I am fine. Really. Sure, I got a little more beat up than I usually do but-” unconsciously, she took Spike’s hand. “-I don’t I am the only one who came out of this experience undamaged.” She let her eyes rest meaningfully on Faith’s ankle. Kennedy’s bandaged arm. The lump on Giles’s head. Spike’s chest. Willow. “Why don’t you all go home.” It came out much softer than she intended. And she couldn’t help feeling guilty as Xander, Giles, Faith and Robin all came up to her in turn to bid their farewells. It wasn’t her fault if they were being overprotective, was it?

They love you. They’re just worried about you.   

Then why does it feel like they’re smothering me?

“Buffy?” Dawn stood from the couch. “Me and Willow and Kennedy are going to go get some groceries for lunch, okay?”

She looked up at her. Since when has she looked so grown up? “Um. Yeah. Sure. Be home before-” The door closed behind the girls. “-Noon.” She could hear a low chuckle coming from her side. “It’s not funny,” she pouted.

His chuckle grew. “Not why I’m laughing, love.” With a glint in his eyes he pulled a box of candy from his pocket. Never tearing his eyes from hers, he opened it and poured several candy hearts out onto the coffee table. Picking one at random he lifted it to her lips, murmuring, “Wonder what that could say.”

Her eyes jumped to the table. All of the hearts said the same thing: I LOVE YOU. She swallowed hard. Oh come on. It’s not like it isn’t true. You know it. He knows it. Hell, you’ve already said it. Sort of. In a strictly no-talking sort of way. What’s the big deal in saying it, really? She opened her mouth and he popped the sweet in. Without thinking she took one from the glass surface as well, lifting it with her ‘broken’ hand so it hung teasingly in front of his face. He watched her, bemused. His expression changed to one of surprise as she slid it between his lips. What’s the big deal in saying it, really?

“I…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three Soft Words

            “Potatoes…check…tomatoes…check…garlic…check…”

            “Garlic. Ew.” Dawn wrinkled her nose as she peered into the grocery cart.

            Willow threw the girl an amused look. “Soup, silly. You like soup.” Silently, she bagged a few onions.

            “I like soup too,” Kennedy chimed in with a small smile. Both girls grinned back at her.

            “So…” Dawn tried to renew the conversation as they paid for their items. “How about Buffy and Spike, back at the house?”

            Willow turned to look at her suspiciously. “What about Buffy and Spike, back at the house?”

            She shrugged. “I don’t know…I guess they seemed sort of…”

            “Snuggly?” Kennedy offered. She winced at the mild glare the red head gave her.

            “That’s good, right?” Dawn asked quietly, grabbing a bag and heading for the doors. “I mean… it’s good that they have each other.”

            “We don’t know anything,” Willow warned. After mulling it over in her head for a long, drawn out while, she decided, “Buffy missed him. It’s just…natural.”

            Kennedy’s eyebrow went up. “Natural. Uh-huh.”

            “There’s nothing there,” she insisted again. Mostly to herself. “Besides, if there was you know she would tell us.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            The gleam of the headlights streaming in through the window reminded her she was not the only person residing in the house anymore. Groaning, she rolled herself from the semi-upright position useful in watching old sappy movies so that she was lying on her back, her head still resting in his lap. Dang headlights. Dang car.

            “My guess is the Scooby girls are back,” he said quietly. Just in case you don’t want them to find us quite so…Letting his thoughts trail off, he brushed his fingers through her hair again.

            “Don’t care.” She pouted. Her Spike pillow was too comfy to give up just because her sister and friends were back. She let her fingers trace patterns on his leg at random.

            A smile tugged at his lips. It still shocked him when she did things like that. Touched him. Said those little things. And even after she said…It was hard to believe he wasn’t going to wake up alone in his crypt, victim of a very detailed, very cruel dream. He still remembered too well the times when she did care. The times when she’d tried to hide…whatever they’d had…from everyone. But no more. Now…Whistfully, he looked back down at her. His Slayer. His Goddess. His girl. The Scoobies will just have to deal. His smile widened at the thought of Giles catching the two in a passionate embrace. “Love…” Taking her small face in his hand, he turned her to look at him. “Say it again.”

            She rolled her eyes. “Is that all you ever want to hear?”

            “Yes.”

            Slowly, she reached up and wound her arms around his neck. Bringing him closer she murmured three soft words into his ear. To her delight, he smiled again. No idiotic grin or trademark smirk. She knew from watching him that, more often than not, they were a defensive gesture. But a smile…she pulled him back down again, whispering until she thought he would burst.

            After a long moment, Spike sat up again. His eyes twinkled mischievously just as the door opened. 

            “Hi we’re-” Dawn nearly tripped as she came in laden in grocery bags. Never mind that her eyes were now bugging out of her head. “-Home…” Blushing fiercely, she rushed through to the kitchen.

            Willow and Kennedy soon followed, again having the odd tendency to redden and look away. “Um, hi guys.” Willow waved uncertainly.

            “ ‘lo Red.” Moving purposefully slower than he had to, Spike lifted Buffy from his lap and stood. Only to be jerked down again by a possessive hand. He offered her a rueful smirk before turning his attention back to his Slayer.

            She wound her fingers around his, finally sliding her gaze from the endless blue depths of his eyes to her very uncomfortable friend. “You got groceries?”

            It was all Willow could do to nod. “Um. Yeah. We got some, uh, groceries. For lunch. Say-” she gestured desperately to her friend “-Why don’t you come help me with that?”

            Her eyebrow crept up suspiciously. “Mm hmm.” Carefully untangling herself from the pile of arms and legs on the couch she slid into the chair she silently suspected she didn’t even need, and followed the small troop of girls into the kitchen. They had barely gotten around the corner when she was attacked.

            “What’s going on?”

            “Are you and Spike…?”

            “Do you love him?” This last question posed quietly, if not randomly, by a very earnest looking teen made all of the others turn to look at her.

            “Nothing. Yes. And…” Buffy tilted her head slightly to watch the reaction of her friends. “…yes.” She cleared her throat. “But I think we already knew that.”

            They watched her in stunned silence until Dawn finally stepped forward. With a tentative smile, she hugged her older sister. “Congratulations.”

            Quickly remembering their manners the two other girls followed suit, giving her hugs and the appropriate congrats. They didn’t even notice the blonde figure smirking in the corner until he cleared his throat.

            “And what could have happened in such a short time to have earned a congratulations?” He questioned innocently, staying in the shadows to avoid the light that would surely give away his suddenly moist eyes. The last thing he could have expected was the youngest Summers girl letting out a noise he could only describe as a squeak and capturing him in a death-grip embrace. Rolling his eyes he attempted to squirm out of the touching moment. “Hey Bit, Big Bad here. Not one for the hugging.”

            Letting out a giggle she squeezed him tighter. “And what are you going to do about it, huh?”

            Pulling away, he tried to regain his dignity by straightening his duster. “Don’t make me tickle you,” he threatened teasingly. Then, he noticed the weird looks he was getting from the Slayer and the Witch. “What?”

            Willow started as she realized she had been staring. “Oh. Sorry. Nothing. Just, you know, spacey.” Letting out a nervous laugh she twirled a finger by her ear. Kennedy simply blushed and looked away.

            He raised an eyebrow questioningly as he went to the refrigerator and grabbed a blood bag. Quickly, he emptied its contents into a mug and stuck it in the microwave. All the while trying to ignore the four pairs of eyes bearing into his back. After taking a sip of his beverage he made a face. Must have gotten a spoiled bag or something. Thinking nothing of it, he poured the fouled blood down the drain and turned back to the suddenly tense conversation.

            “So…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            *** She stood off in the distance, always smiling down upon him. Even in this world of white she seemed to glow. Sighing, he approached her. “What? Come to invade my dreams too?”

            “Hello William.”

            “Don’t you ‘hello William’ me! I know what you did!” Angrily, he poked a finger at her. “You saved Buffy, didn’t you?”

            She frowned. “Didn’t you want me to save her?”

            “Of course, but…” He shrugged confusedly. “I thought you didn’t want her to know about you.”

            She smiled. “Not about me. About you.”

            “Whatever.”  

            “William, you are running out of time.” Her face turned serious as she gazed out into the gleaming world of white. If anything, she seemed concerned. “You remember our deal.”

            “That I have to go back to Heaven if I can’t prove she needs me. I know.” He ran his fingers through his hair. He knew all to well. It was all he could think about when she smiled at him, when she had whispered those three soft words into his ear just hours ago. And it killed him to think that just when things were going so well, he might have to leave her yet again. “How much time do I have left?”

            She smiled. “You have time. If what you said is true.” Softer, she murmured, “If you were destined for her.”***

            He woke as he felt warm skin rub against his own. Rubbing his eyes, he turned to see who had snuck under the covers of his pullout bed.

            “Couldn’t sleep,” Buffy whispered apologetically as she spooned behind him, cautious fingers running over his back. Laying a gentle kiss against his shoulder she closed her eyes.  

            He smiled; listening patiently as her breathing slowed and she fell asleep. Love you, pet. Her heart, beating so closely to his own with the gentle thump thumping he loved, lulled him back to his dreams.

            *** “See? She loves me. She bloody said it!” He shook his fist angrily at the amused girl. “What else do you want?”

            “We know she loves you,” she said slowly. “We knew that before. It doesn’t prove anything. She needs to say-”

            “She needs me.” He muttered various curses under his breath. “Bloody hell! Can’t you see she does? Can’t you see she can’t go a sodding night without me?” He gestured wildly towards the empty space, trying to express with his hands what he couldn’t with words. What was in his heart. Slowly, he turned back to face the quiet entity before him. “I know she needs me,” he whispered.

            She looked at him with a combination of pity and worry. “That isn’t enough. She has to say it. And soon.” With a wave, she began walking away from him. And before he could say anything else to her, she was gone. Faded away into that annoyingly bright world of white.

            He spun around, suddenly back in his own crypt. The first thing he saw was Buffy sitting on the bier. “Buffy?”

            She smiled, not looking at him but instead staring blankly off into space. “You are, you know.”

            Frowning, he came closer. “I am what.”

            “A champion.” Her head jerked as she turned her gaze to his approaching form. “My champion.”

            The possessive way in which she spoke caused him to smirk. “All yours, love.” Standing in front of her, he brushed a stray tendril of hair from her face.

            “My champion.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. “My heart,” she whispered into his ear.

            Spike let himself drown in her intoxicating scent for a long while before responding. “I don’t understand.”

            Again a smile graced her lips. “You are my heart. I am your soul. And together we are one.”

            “I don’t understand, Buffy.” Wrapping his arms around her waist he buried his face in her hair. She was saying things that didn’t make sense to him. She had a heart, this he knew; it was alive and beating this very minute. And he had a soul…didn’t he?

            “You will know.” She placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. “In time, you will know.” As quickly as she appeared she vanished, leaving him alone once again. ***

            A strangled cry late in the night woke them both. “Dawn,” she gasped, jumping out of the bed and racing up the stairs. Pushing the younger girl’s door open she rushed in. “Are you okay?”

            Dawn sat up in her bed, shaking. “Had a dream,” she managed.

            “A bad dream?” Buffy asked. She sat down next to her, wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulders. The teen nodded, brushing at the tears streaming down her cheeks. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

            She sighed. “It was…hot. We were out in, in the desert I think. There were these…things.” A shiver ran through her. “They attacked us, they just kept coming, and I tried to make them leave…”

            “Shhh.” Tenderly she pulled her sister closer to herself. She ran her hand down the teens long locks. “It’s okay. It was just a dream. A stupid, bad dream that was probably inspired by a horror movie of some sort.”

            Dawn smiled. “Our whole lives are horror movies,” she pointed out. Frowning, she sat up straighter. “Hey. You can walk.”

            “Yeah, guess I can.” She shared a baffled look with her for a moment. Makes sense…my legs got better pretty fast, once I came home. “Guess Spike doesn’t have to wrestle with that wheelchair anymore.”

            A giggle escaped her. “You should have seen him with that thing. It was hilarious.” Her voice took on a softer, if not more hesitant, tone. “In case you can’t tell, I’m really happy about you two.”

            Buffy grinned. “Good. Though I can’t say I could do much if you weren’t.”

            “He loves you more than you know,” she confided. “Sometimes, when he thinks no one’s watching, he just looks at you as if nothing else exists. It’s almost like…you’re all he knows.”

            A pleasant, familiar warmth overtook her face. After opening and shutting her mouth several times, and not being able to say anything, she gave up. Instead, she fingered Dawn’s hair again. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

            She nodded. “Perfectly fine. Nothing a cup of cocoa won’t fix.” With a smile, she slid out of bed. “Are you coming?”

            “Right behind you,” she said. The two sisters tiptoed down the stairs, afraid of waking the other inhabitants of the house. As they went around the corner the odd sight of a vampire preparing three mugs of hot chocolate confronted them.

            Shrugging embarrassedly, Spike muttered, “Thought you might like some chocolate.” As if that explained everything, he handed Dawn a mug and took the other two to the table where Buffy was watching amusedly. Stopping suddenly, he cocked his head. “Hey. You’re walking.”

            “Yes indeed.” With a raised eyebrow she helped herself to a cup of the warm drink. Sipping slowly, she hummed in contentment. “Mm. Yummy.”

            He grinned. “You alright Nibblet?” He asked over the rim of his own mug.

            She smiled a little at him. “Fine. Just a bad dream.” Absent-mindedly she stirred the marshmallows around, her smile broadening as she thought of Spike remembering how she liked her cocoa.

            He nodded silently, peering into his own as if it might hold all the answers to life’s little mysteries. How ironic it would be if he could solve every problem that came along with hot chocolate. He looked back up at the Summers girl who had turned him into this cocoa-loving, wheelchair-wrestling being. Blonde haired, green eyed, and filled with more lovable quirks than one would think possible. His entire world, wrapped up in one tiny package. His family, friend and love, now watching him curiously through those damn green eyes and trying to figure out what he could be thinking. You have no idea, pet. He smirked devilishly and took another long swig. You have no idea.

            “Well, I think I’ll be heading back to bed.” Dawn stood and tried to pull off a realistic looking fake yawn. “Night,” she murmured, walking up the stairs slowly so she could hear the conversation she knew would ensue once she was gone.

            Silently Buffy took her now empty mug and Dawn’s to the sink. She didn’t notice the bleached figure behind her until he pressed himself up against her in all the right places. She shivered happily as his fingers trailed up her bare arm.

            Kissing her neck lightly, he let his nose brush her ear. His arms wrapped around her waist, increasing their contact. “ ‘m going back to bed too,” he murmured softly, the words tickling her delicate skin. Unwrapping himself he took a few steps back towards the living room before turning. “Coming?”

            With a smile she followed him back towards the pullout bed. Going upstairs to her own room would be nice, of course, but she knew Dawn wouldn’t be asleep yet and liked to cling to the hope Dawn didn’t know about her sleeping with Spike. Soon she was nestled against his chest, little purrs of contentment escaping her lips.

            “Buffy?”

            “Hmm.”

            Pulling away so he could see her eyes, he asked, “What happened in Africa? I mean, to make you…”

            She sighed. In truth, she really couldn’t explain why she suddenly was ready to admit-no, to announce-that she was in love with him. Maybe my cookies are done, she thought with a little smirk. No. It wasn’t that. It wasn’t her. It was him. He had always been there for her, always; and when he had left, she had blamed her sudden love on missing him. Missing his consistent presence, missing the way he had loved her no matter what. But when he had come back…she had been scared. She didn’t want to be with him because she was still as in love with him as she had been when she thought he was dead. And it is so easy to love someone when they are not there. There was no fear of rejection; no possibility things wouldn’t turn out exactly as she had dreamed them. But it wasn’t real. This-those pools of blue she was currently drowning in-this was real. This was what she had been waiting for. It had just taken nearly getting them both killed again for her to realize it. Pressing her lips to his quickly, she whispered, “You.”

            He smiled, kissing her back. Temporarily, all thoughts of needing and heaven and time left him as he lost himself in her kiss. All he needed to be happy the rest of forever was the memory of this. After a long, sweet moment, they returned to their prior cuddling. “Buffy?”

            “Hmm?”

            “You love me?”

            She opened her eyes. He looked so sincere, his flat tone of voice only further revealing how desperate he really was for the answer. “Yup,” She said, murmuring three soft words against his skin.

            “I love you.”

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