Chapter 11:

*

"Well, considering the consequences, you're very lucky. There's nothing been found yet." Dr. Matthews smiled at Buffy. "I would like to know a little more about your history though, so I know what we're dealing with."

"Alright." Buffy turned and smiled at Spike, who squeezed her hand gently.

"How many unprotected partners have you had?" She asked, picking up a notebook.

"Um.." Buffy went bright red. "I'm not really sure. Most guys did use protection, and I did have it on hand occasionally, but then there were a few who.."

The doctor nodded patiently. "Okay.. so can you assume a percentage? How many would you say were safe?"

"Eighty percent. Maybe eighty-five." Buffy glanced at Spike, but he didn't seem upset at all. He remained calm, holding her hand to reassure her. She gave his hand a little squeeze and smiled at him again.

"Can you tell me the average dates of these miscarriages?"

Buffy swallowed hard to clear the lump in her throat. "Um.. well, I think the first was when I was, like, 19. It was a few weeks after my birthday. I had two in 2003, and another one a few months ago."

"Well, there's nothing wrong with your ability to reproduce, Buffy. But lifestyle choices can harm an unborn child - drugs, alcohol, dangerous sex.. I'd say it was misfortune."

Buffy took a deep breath. "So I can have babies one day?"

"One day, if there aren't any harmful infections found. We'd like to see you again in the next two to three months, for the next year or so. Just to be safe - some infections don't show up for a while. So use full protection with new partners."

"Thanks, Dr. Matthews." Spike helped Buffy up and smiled at her. "Good news so far, kitten."

Buffy gave him a strained smile in return. "Yeah.."

*

"I'd better get to the restaurant." Spike said as Buffy flopped down on the sofa.

"Oh.. I'll go get dressed." She pouted and got to her feet again.

"No, no, just me today. It's only open for dinner, there's a health assessment." Spike rolled his eyes. "You'll be okay here?"

"Sure." Buffy moaned against him as he scooped her up and kissed her softly.

"You can have a long, lovely, relaxing, luxurious morning to yourself, eh?" Spike kissed her again, holding her close. "Call if there's anything you need."

Buffy ran her hands through his hair. "How long will you be?"

Spike shrugged, pulling his jacket back on. "Few hours. Andrew's coming in around 4, it depends it he wants me to stay. I probably should, I've been taking too much time off. But you can have the day to yourself."

"Thanks. I might have a swim." Buffy jumped up and walked to the door with him. She kissed him and whispered, "Bye."

"Bye." He watched in total adoration as she skipped upstairs to find her bathers, and called out, "I love you, sweetheart!"

He heard her giggle and left with a huge smile on his face.

*

"Hi, sorry I'm late." A tall brunette man hurried into the kitchen. "I'm Angel O'Connor, you must be Mr. Giles?"

"Yep." Spike shook his hand. "Do I know you?"

Angel frowned. "I don't think so."

"You just.. the name's familiar." Spike shook his head. "Anyway..."

"Right, I'll just have a look around. You've had excellent feedback from customers and employees, Mr. Giles. I'd have to hope so, this restaurant is very popular." Angel smiled at him. "Who is 'Spike'?"

"I am. Nickname from when I was a kid."

"Right. Where are the meatgoods held?"

"Seperate to everything else, just down here." Spike led him to the fridges.

Angel scribbled something down on his ledger. "I've heard you stock the best red meat in California?"

"Yes." Spike replied tersely. He was sure he knew this guy from somewhere, but he couldn't quite figure it out.

*

"Your standards are excellent, Spike." Angel smiled. "But, there have been a few complaints made about the staff."

"There have?" Spike's eyes widened. "What's been said?"

"That you've hired a whore as a waitress, and the chef is of questionable background."

"Buffy isn't a whore any more. She's had a pretty rough go of it, but there shouldn't be a proble-"

"People don't want their meals served by someone crawling with disease, I'm sorry." Angel shrugged.

"She isn't crawling with disease! It's my business who I hire to wait on people, and Buffy is perfectly respectable." Spike glared at Angel loathingly. "And I don't know what you have against Andrew."

"Well-"

"Oh, wait, he's gay! Of course." Spike laughed bitterly. "How the hell.. I mean.. sure, he's gay, and maybe that upsets some people but it's not like that affects his abilities as a chef! He's the best in Sunnydale!"

"But-"

"Listen, you prejudiced git! You can't close me down just because two of my staff get on your nerves. I think your boss would be very bloody impressed to know you're acting against me based on your own morals." Spike paused. "Wait a minute. I know you. You're Drusilla's new bloke, aren't you?"

"Yes." Angel smirked. "And I can and will shut this place down, Spi-"

"Don't call me Spike."

"Fine, Mr. Giles. I can and will shut this place down.. unless.." Angel sighed dramatically. "Oh, if only there was a way."

"Oh, you fucking bastard." Spike snarled, snatching his wallet from his jacket pocket.

*

Buffy was breathing in the scent of the vanilla bubbles surrounding her in the tub when she heard the door slam shut. Hard. This intrusive sound was followed by several other doors slamming, and glass crashing to the floor. She jumped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around her soaking body.

She raced downstairs and found Spike washing blood from his hand in the kitchen. She hurried towards him. "Are you okay?"

"Fine." He muttered, wrapping a paper towel around his hand.

"You don't seem fine." Buffy wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him softly. "Didn't the assessment go well?"

"I had to bribe him." Spike scowled. "Fucking wanker."

"Why? What was wrong?"

"Because apparently he doesn't like the fact I've employed a former hooker and a homosexual."

Buffy's face fell. "Oh."

"It's not your fault." Spike said softly, brushing her damp hair away from her face so he could kiss her.

"It is kind of." She replied sadly.

"No, it's not." Spike insisted. He swept her up into his arms and kissed her. "I'm going to make us some nice hot chocolate, and then maybe we can talk a little more."

"About?" Buffy inquired as he placed her back on her feet.

"Each other." Spike kissed her softly. "Wait in the library, eh?"

*

"Okay." Spike sat beside her and pulled her into his lap, handing her the cup of hot chocolate. "Tell me all about you. And I mean all about you."

"All about me?" Buffy shook her head. "Only if you do the same."

"Okay. But I go first." He whispered, nuzzling her neck affectionately. "Your first time.. was it with someone you knew, or with a.. client?"

Buffy noticed he struggled on he word 'client', and decided she knew what her first question would be. But in all fairness, she had to answer his. "It was kind of both.. technically. But I don't really want to.."

Spike frowned. "Tell me."

"Spike, you'll think it's sick." Buffy whimpered.

"Just tell me." He insisted, kissing her softly, reassuring her with the ginger touch of his lips.

"It was with Faith. She put this thing on.." Buffy grimaced and hesitated for a long while. "It was to teach me what to do."

"Oh." Spike fell silent, trying to rid his mind of horrible mental images. He held Buffy tighter, sensing her own misery and remembering.

"I told you that you'd think it was sick." She muttered. "Anyway.. can I ask my question now?"

"Sure."

Buffy looked him straight in the eye, and in her most demanding tone, asked, "Does my past bother you?"

Spike laughed, but she could see he was slightly unnerved. "Why should it?"

"Um, reasons could fill a book. I've slept with hundreds of guys, I could have diseases, I've taken drugs.. I'm not like you, Spike. You live this amazing life, and you'll never have any idea what I've been through. I have issues with men, I might not be able to trust you or love you the way you deserve. I might never be able to enjoy sex, and I-"

"Fine. It does bother me." Spike snapped, in a voice so harsh he instantly regretted it. He sighed and admitted softly, "I hate to think what you've been through. It breaks my heart, Buffy, nobody deserves it, especially not you. I love you, and I want us to have a life together. Having a life together, though, would mean things like love, and trust, and eventually sex. I'm willing to wait, I am, but if you honestly believe you can't give me that.."

Buffy slid out of his arms and studied him. "Do you really love me?"

"Yes." Spike took her hand and kissed it softly.

She smiled, and simply said, "Then I can."

 

Chapter 12:
"Roll this out." Xander ordered, handing her a rolling pin.

Buffy started flattening the pastry quickly.

"Can you cut out thirty stars?" He handed her the shape-cutter. "So how are things with Spike?"

"Good." Buffy smiled. "Okay, great."

Xander grinned. "I'm really happy for you two. It's about time that he decides to be with someone who's not a lying, heartbreaking, thieving, horrible bitch."

"Was Drusilla really that bad?"

"Um, yeah. Doesn't the name say it all? She sounds evil, therefore she is." Xander shook his head. "I mean sure, she's kind of pretty.. but she was such a whore!"

Buffy remained quiet, simply cutting out the pastry stars. Xander sighed. "I didn't mean it in a bad way.. well, not to you. She was though - she cheated on him millions of times."

Buffy frowned. "Why did he love her?"

"Because apparently he's 'love's bitch' or something." He shrugged. "He wouldn't speak to anyone after she ditched him. Except if it was about the restaurant.. you know, giving orders. He confused me and Andrew a lot, like he didn't remember anything. It was creepy."

"Hmm." Buffy slid the tray of star-pastries into the oven. "Are we going to frost these?"

*

Somehow she'd ended up on trash duty again. This time it wasn't Andrew who'd forced it on her, though, it was another waitress. They weren't forward about it, but they hated her and were totally bitchy. Buffy wished she could complain to Spike but he already had a lot on his mind during the day, and probably didn't want to hear her wimpy complaints.

She ditched the garbage bag into the dumpster, then knelt down and touched the cold metal surface. "Mr. Gordo.. I'm sorry for what happened. I still love you."

She knew it was slightly silly, talking to a dumpster, so rather than risk getting caught, Buffy got to her feet and was about to leave when she bashed straight into someone.

The first thing she noticed was the red leather dress.. and she went completely cold. Colour drained from her face and Buffy trembled violently as she found herself face to face with Faith.

"Hey B." Faith said quietly, appearing slightly suprised. "Wow."

"Wow what?" Buffy whimpered, backing away from her. She slammed straight into the wall and found herself trapped.

"You look really nice." Faith's eyes narrowed into menacing slits. "Enjoy the coke?"

Buffy tried to remain strong. "I'm clean now. You can't hurt me with that."

"How's your man candy? I've seen your house, it's pretty flash." Faith laughed bitterly. "After all my hard work, you end up the one with the fancy life."

She wrapped her hand around Buffy's throat. "You know you're just his sex toy."

"N-n-no." Buffy choked out, struggling to get free. Faith lightened her grip slightly and Buffy said, "He loves me."

"Bullshit, he loves you. He doesn't want a dirty little bitch like you for a girlfriend. Guys want to get married and settle down eventually, and he'll want a wife who hasn't slept around. God, B, you fucked anything with a pulse. He won't want you. You're a grotty little slut. Do you think he'll want to have kids with you? Don't be ridiculous! He'll only want you in the sack. That's all you're good for."

"No!" She sobbed as Faith dug her sharp, red acrylic nails into Buffy's thigh. "He loves me, he does-"

"Have you slept with him yet?"

"N-n-"

"Well, when you do fuck him, you'll probably wake up the next day to money on the nightstand. A guy like that, he's been with girls like us before. That's all we are to him. Pieces of meat. Then it's back to the streets with you."

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Buffy shrieked, shoving Faith away. "I'm happy! I'm healthy! So leave me the fuck alone!"

Faith smirked and reached out to smooth Buffy's hair where it had stuck up. "Okay, honey. I will."

Then she disappeared. Buffy sighed and wiped the tears from her face. She will leave me alone. She has to.

*

Buffy curled up next to Spike and kissed him softly. "Whatcha reading?"

"Nothing important." He tossed the book aside and kissed her back, mounting her body and pinning her down against the sofa. He kissed from her lips, down her jaw, to her slender neck. Buffy threw her head back, sighing in ecstasy as Spike's lips fluttered over her neck and shoulders. Spike clutched her body to his and whispered, "I love you."

Buffy wriggled out of his grasp and sat cross-legged on the plush sofa. "Have you ever been with a whore?"

"Pardon me?" Spike stared at her, completely baffled.

"Have you ever been with a prostitute?" Buffy demanded.

"No." Spike gave her a strange look. "Are you feeling alright, luv?"

Buffy wasn't convinced. She glared at him and snapped, "No."

"What's bothering you?" Spike pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight.

His affection didn't calm her at all. Buffy moved out of his arms and continued glowering at him. "I don't like to think that you're the kind of guy who would go and see whores, Spike."

"I'm not!" Spike cried in frustration. "Buffy, I promise. I don't know who's put these ideas in your head, but I'd never see a whore, alright?"

"Well, then-"

"And no! That doesn't include you. I love you." Spike pulled her close again. "What's upset you?"

"Nothing." She couldn't tell Spike who put the ideas into her head, or he'd just worry. "I just wondered."

"So you're alright?"

"Yeah." She gave him a big smile. "Where were we?"

Buffy straddled him and kissed him, making it last until he was gasping for breath. Spike pulled her closer and ran his hands over her body in the sweetest caress she'd ever felt. Spike kindled so many unfamiliar passions inside her - she'd never experienced this before, this dizzying lust, the firey arousal spreading through her body.

His hands were all over her now, on her thighs, rubbing her breasts, and as good as it felt.. it was all too soon.

You know you're just his sex toy.

"Stop." Buffy whispered, pulling away. "It's.. too soon. I want it to mean more."

"Okay." Spike slid out from under her and got to his feet awkwardly.

"Wait." Buffy pulled him back down to sit beside her. She placed her hand over his raging erection, pressed against the confining denim. Suprisingly enough, she'd never had to do this. If men were seedy enough to go to a street whore, they wanted the whole thing, and fast.

And she wanted to prove to Spike she wasn't frigid. Her lips landed on his and she kissed him wildly.

Buffy unzipped his jeans and wrapped her hand around his long, hard length. In deliciously slow movements, she stroked him, rubbing the head of his swollen cock with her thumb to spread the milky drops of precum. Spike groaned as her motions became faster, and Buffy pressed her lips to his and kissed him. Her tongue danced with his, the passion growing until Spike finally came. Buffy smiled at him lovingly and whispered, "That feel good?"

"That was brilliant." He replied and kissed her again. "Thankyou."

"I might go have a swim." Buffy whispered, kissing him on the cheek. Swimming helped her relax, but tonight, as she slid into the cool water, she found herself edgy. She constantly paused, spinning around to see if Spike was there.

He wasn't. She'd seen him off to bed over an hour ago..

Then why does it feel like someone's watching me?

*

 

Chapter 13:

She was still on edge the next morning. Buffy found herself absolutely terrified of everything. Spike would simply touch her and she'd jump, and even his arms around her couldn't soothe the fear curdling inside her.

She didn't feel like going to work, but staying home would mean being alone.

Or would it? It still felt like someone was watching her.

"You ready?" Spike asked, grabbing his keys.

Buffy nodded, and completely impulsively, leapt into his arms and hugged him. "Tell me you love me?"

"I love you. You know I do." Spike kissed her softly. "You alright?"

"Just a bit.. never mind." She kept her arms wrapped tightly around him. "Did you come watch me swim last night?"

"No." Spike frowned. "Why?"

It was all too overwhelming. She didn't feel safe, at all. She felt as though any minute she'd find herself under attack. Buffy burst into tears, falling ungracefully into Spike's arms. She barely noticed her feet leave the ground as he scooped her up and carried her into the kitchen.

"Tell me what's wrong." He said softly, wiping the tears from her face. "You've been acting funny all morning."

"I think someone was here last night." Buffy sobbed as Spike placed Mr. Gordo in her hands. She cuddled the tiny kitten as Spike did the same to her. "I felt someone watching me while I swam. I don't know who it was, because you weren't there. But I think they're still here."

Spike kissed her softly and said firmly, "There was nobody here, Buffy. The alarm would've gone off."

"Did you set it?" Buffy asked doubtfully. "We were kind of.. distracted."

"Jesus." Spike whispered and shook his head, fear darting into his blue eyes. "I didn't."

*

"You say the guys who set this knew the supposed predator?" The policeman shook his head. "Well.. this alarm is faulty. The cameras are working, but they don't lead back to the surveillance unit. I'd say you've had someone watching you for quite a while now."

Buffy slipped out of Spike's arms and left the room. Spike took a deep breath to calm himself. "Can you organise new security equipment? I don't think she'll rest easy otherwise."

"Sure, Mr. Giles." The cop smiled. "I'm very sorry this has happened, it must have been upsetting."

"I wasn't there for it. I was already asleep. Buffy just said it felt like someone was watching her." Spike stared at the sliding door that led out to the back yard. "Can you get fingerprints?"

"We're onto it. Does your wife know where they were watching her from?"

"She's not my.." Spike paused. Hardly matters at a time like this. "She was in the pool, they were either watching from outside, through the glass, or they were actually.."

He put his head in his hands and held tears back with all the might he had. "If they weren't outside watching her, they were inside. Fuck!"

The cop nodded and patted him on the back. "Why don't you go see to her? We'll sort all this out."

Spike raced upstairs and found Buffy in his room, curled into a ball among his rumpled bedsheets, Mr. Gordo in her arms. He barely noticed she was crying until he was closer and could see the tears rolling down her face. "Princess? C'mere."

He gathered her into his arms and hugged her tight. Her sobs grew louder, but Spike didn't let go until they'd subsided. He had no idea how long he sat there with her, simply holding her in his arms, hushing her as she wept.

"Luv, listen to me." Spike brushed his lips against hers gently, kissing her until she melted into his arms. "I'll keep you safe, no matter what. I don't care what it takes, whether I have to be with you 24-7, or move right across the world with you. I'm going to keep you safe, you here me?"

Buffy nodded, but he saw doubt clouding her green eyes. "Don't you believe me?"

"I don't know." She whimpered. "You made me feel safe from the very beginning, but now.."

"Now isn't any different." He promised, kissing each of the apples of her rosy cheeks. "I love you, and we're going to be okay. Tell me you believe me, Buffy."

"Okay." She snuggled into him and kissed him passionately, finding that all the fear in her just simply disappeared. She clung to Spike tight and whispered, "I love you."

*

"This place is beautiful." Buffy said softly, admiring the hotel room. It was two hours later, and she was still stuck to Spike. "You didn't have to take me here."

"The police suggested it. Just for the night." He smiled at her. "Do you really love me?"

"Of course I do." She replied, reaching up to cup his face in her hands. She brought her lips to meet with his and kicked the door shut behind them. "I want you."

Spike was about to speak, but Buffy placed her hand over his mouth and sat him down on the couch. "Give me a minute."

He waited as she disappeared into the bedroom, and minutes later, she called out to him. He went into the bedroom, now aglow with the golden light of candles, and smiled lovingly at Buffy. She was stretched out in the bed, covered only by the red satin sheets. The clingy fabric accentuated her every curve, and Spike felt dizzying arousal course through him. He approached her slowly, removing his shirt. He slid onto the bed beside her, and planted several long, lingering kisses on the soft golden skin of Buffy's neck. She sighed and let the sheets slip, and moaned in ecstasy as Spike turned his talented attention to her breasts.

She was like nothing else he'd ever known. Buffy succumbed to his every erotic motion, as though she were virginal, and unexperienced. It occured to Spike that she'd never known it to be like this, and it only prompted him to take extra care with her.

With Spike, she wasn't afraid to have sex with him. She knew he wouldn't hurt her, and the love flickering in his eyes made her wild with lust. She gave him pleasure in every way she knew possible, in return to what he did for her. Spike knew these weren't the moves she pulled on any other guy, that she'd been saving this kind of love..

"This is just for you." She whispered as he entered her. "Nobody else."

As they were spiralling into the ultimate heights of ecstasy, he looked into her emerald eyes and saw the life glowing in them. This time, they weren't alive with pain, or fear, but simply love.

Just for him.

*
 

Chapter 14:

Spike woke alone, instantly worried when he didn't find Buffy in his arms. But in the next room, he could hear the shower going, and his fears were replaced with arousal. He jumped out of bed and tiptoed into the bathroom.

Buffy was running the soapy loofah over her body when she felt warm hands on her hips. She spun around and found herself tangled up in Spike's arms as he kissed her neck. She moaned and dropped the sponge, succumbing to his advances. He handed her a condom and she slipped it onto his hard length, stroking him slowly. Spike groaned and pressed her against the wall and ground his erection against her. Buffy smashed her lips against his and wrapped her legs around him as he slid inside her.

"Harder." Buffy hissed, bucking her hips. Spike slammed into her again, grasping her hips as he pounded into her. Buffy cried out as he fucked her with incredible passion. She grabbed his left hand and brought it to her clit, searching for a more intense orgasm. He kissed her hungrily, groaning as her inner muscles tightened around him. He rubbed hard against her swollen nub, listening in delight as she gave a keening wail and rested against his chest. Hearing her scream for him was enough to push him over the edge, and Spike came with a loud cry of her name.

"So good." Buffy whispered. Then she scowled. "Now I'm all dirty again."

Spike picked up the loofah and covered it with vanilla body wash, then slid it all over Buffy to clean her. Once she was clean, she snuggled into his arms and kissed him softly. "I love you."

Spike swept her up into his arms and carried her back into the bedroom. He dumped her down on the bed and mounted her body, kissing her soft, wet skin as he went.

Buffy writhed against him as he sucked on her nipples gently. She noticed the sheets were getting soaked by their bodies, and whispered, "I'm not dry yet-- ohhh."

What he was doing was just too damn good to resist.

*

"Don't go." Buffy whined, attempting to pull him back into bed.

"We need more condoms, sweetheart." Spike kissed her reassuringly. "I'll be back soon."

"Fine." Buffy scowled at him. "Go and abandon me."

"I promise I won't take too long, alright?" Spike kissed her on the cheek and pulled his jacket on.

She flopped back against the pillows, finding it a relief to have a moment to herself. She needed to think things over properly.

He's the only guy who's ever loved me.. apart from my dad. That's different though.. and I seriously doubt dad loved me that much. Bastard.

Buffy slid out of bed and went over to the wardrobe to extract one of Spike's shirts. She put it on and smiled at her reflection. Spike makes me feel good about myself. He's really, technically, my first as well. He's the first guy who's ever let me enjoy sex. He's the first to ever love me... and the first to see me as more than just a quick fuck. Besides, nothing between us is quick. It's just.. lovely, long and luxurious.

She grinned and collapsed into the bed again. And I love him. It feels good to love someone.

A soft meowing was coming from outside the bedroom door, and Buffy went to get Mr. Gordo. "You must be hungry, huh? Lucky the hotel let us keep you here."

She went to the fridge and found only the bare necessities - soft drinks and a few snackfoods. "Why don't we call room service?"

Mr. Gordo meowed softly, clawing at her arm. She giggled and went over to the phone, and just as her hand was on the receiver, it started to ring. Loudly.

Startled, Buffy picked it up, trembling slightly. "H-h-hello?"

"It's Andrew." He didn't sound much better than herself. "Is Spike there?"

"No, he's gone out." Buffy frowned and put Mr. Gordo down. "Are you okay?"

"You guys need to get down here right now."

"But it doesn't open for another hour."

"I don't think it's going to be opening today." Andrew murmered.

"What's happened?" Buffy turned and saw Spike had returned. He scooped Mr. Gordo up just before the kitten could escape out the open door.

"Please just get down here." Andrew said in a whimper, and hung up.

"Hey sweets. Who was on the phone?" Spike kissed her softly, but Buffy pulled away.

"Andrew said we need to go down to the restaurant. It's an emergency."

"Bollocks." Spike scowled. "Okay, go get dressed."

*

"Let's see what the poof wants, then we can go home and be together." Spike smiled at her, giving her hand a little squeeze. "Hmm?"

"Okay." Buffy kissed him as the pulled up in front of the restaurant, pulling away reluctantly. "Love you."

"Love you too, prince.." Spike trailed off, finally taking in his surroundings.

Fire men surrounded the restaurant, packing up their equipment. His employees stood at a further distance, staring at the charred remains of 'Spike's'. Spike jumped out of the car and raced towards Andrew. "What the fuck happened?"

"It caught fire.. early this morning." Those appeared to be the only words he could get out before bursting into tears.

"Well, which one of you left something on?" Spike screamed, shaking Buffy off him when she tried to take his hand.

"We didn't, you know we check." Xander said quietly.

"Mr. Giles?" One of the firemen approached him. "We've extinguised the blaze, however, there has been extensive damage to the kitchen and the dining area. It appears to be the work of arson."

Buffy turned to see paramedics carrying a stretcher, and even though the body was covered, she could still see the charred feet. Andrew was watching as well, and she fell into his arms to cry.

"Whoever did this, died doing it. We found the body of a girl in the kitchen, where the fire started. She used gasoline to start it, and obviously it trapped her when it spread."

"Right." Spike said softly, staring up at what used to be his restaurant. The tears that had been stinging his eyes ever since he noticed the firemen started to fall.

And they didn't seem willing to stop.

*

 

Chapter 15:
Buffy was scared for him. Deeply, disturbingly terrified for him. Spike just sat there, still, staring into space, barely talking, and if he was breathing at all, she couldn't see it. He was almost dead.

She knew he was hurting over what had happened. She just wished he'd open up to her.. it was as though he didn't want her around any more.

And that scared her.

"Spike?" She sat next to him and smiled. "Tell me what's on your mind."

"Nothing." He murmered absent-mindedly, and continued staring at the television.

Deciding to approach it differently, she put on her best seductive smile. Buffy stroked his thigh gently, and whispered, "I want you, baby."

"Hmm." Spike still didn't take his eyes off the TV, although it appeared he wasn't even aware of what was going on.

"Spike.." Buffy waited for him to look at her, but he didn't. He remained totally frozen, and she wondered if he'd heard her. "Spike!"

He turned to her, glaring at her, and snarled angrily, "What?!"

"Can't we talk?" She pleaded desperately.

"I said, I don't feel like it." He stood up, possibly for the first time in days, and stormed out of the room.

*

The first body to be found wasn't the only one. There was a second corpse, one of a second girl who couldn't escape. Police had resolved that the fire had been planned by both women, aunt and niece, but the execution hadn't gone as hoped. The first had been burnt to death, the second had been trapped and choked to death on smoke.

Buffy begged Spike to come to the funerals, at least for closure, if nothing else, but he refused. He had no reason to mourn the death of two girls he hated. But Buffy had gone, and even cried, when Drusilla and Faith's caskets had been lowered into the cold earth.

She didn't know why she'd cried for two women who'd treated her so horribly. Maybe it was the whole idea of death that terrified her. She'd known it all too well over the years - first her mother, then her unborn children. She'd watched other people disappear from her life - her friends, Willow for example, who she'd lost when she'd run away. And now she was losing Spike, who simply wouldn't open up to her anymore.

She wanted to share his pain, as he had with her only months ago. But he was a closed book - he either had nothing to say, or was just too afraid.

*

"Hey." Andrew smiled weakly at her. "How are you?"

"I'm okay." Buffy hugged him quickly. "Um.. Spike's not really seeing anyone at the moment."

"That's okay.. but can you tell him that 'Red' is here to see him?"

Buffy nodded. "Come in. I'll be right back."

"Buffy?"

She spun around and gasped happily. "Wills!"

"Yeah!" Willow grinned and hugged her. "What're you doing here?"

"I'm living here. Spike and I are together."

Willow's eyes went wide. "Wait.. you're his girlfriend? Andrew told me he had one, but he said she was kind of a.. oh."

Buffy blushed and dropped her head. "I'll go see if Spike's.. well, in the mood to see anyone."

He's barely in the mood to see me. She knocked on the door and entered reluctantly. "Spike? Andrew and 'Red' are here to see you. You know, I know Wills from high school?"

"Mm." Spike didn't lift his eyes from Mr. Gordo. He was playing with the kitten on the bed, simply stroking it's silky ginger fur. Buffy jumped onto the bed and kissed Spike softly. He pulled away and rolled onto his side, turning his back to her. "I'm not really in the mood. You go talk to Willow, though."

"Spike.. you have to stop sulking." Buffy reached up and ran her hands through his hair. "And a shower would be a good idea. In fact.. why don't we do that together?"

"No thanks." He muttered and disappeared into the bathroom.

"He's not really in a talky kind of mood." Buffy explained as she came downstairs.

Andrew shrugged. "I guess I'll come back another time?"

"Tomorrow. Dinner." Buffy kissed him on the cheek. "I'll force him to be in a talky mood."

"Mind if I stay a while?" Willow asked, gazing around at the house. "Wow. This seems bigger than it last did."

"Sure, come and hang out for a while. It's been ages." Buffy led her into the library and they flopped down onto the couch. "So.. Spike said you were on sick leave for a while? What was going on?"

"Well.." Willow took a deep breath. "I had breast cancer. It was only tiny, but I had to have chemo and all, so I was off for a while."

"Oh. It's okay now, right?" Buffy gave Willow's hand a little squeeze.

"Yeah. All good. So.. what about you?" Willow smiled nervously at her. "Andrew told me about your.. um.. choice of lifestyle."

"It wasn't really a choice." Buffy said softly. "But it's a long story."

Willow nodded. "I've got time."

*

"Come on, it'll be fun." Buffy grinned at him. "We'll go shopping, and get icecreams, and see a movie. Lots of fun."

Spike stopped the car. "Wait a sec."

Buffy groaned and dropped her head against the dashboard when she realized where they were. Spike had already slipped out of the car, and was approaching his destroyed restaurant.

Spike stared up at the charred remains and fought back tears. The gold lettering, once spelling 'Spike's', now spelt 'ike'. And they were barely ledgible for all the black grime covering them.

"Spike, honey, come on." Buffy tugged on his arm.

"Five years. Five years of working my ass off, and what do I get?" Spike picked up a brick from the rubble surrounding the sidewalk and hurled it through one of the already half shattered glass windows. What little remained, broke under the brick's impact. Spike continued picking up heavy objects and throwing them at what used to be his restaurant. His pride and joy. Gone, smashed, burnt to a crisp.

"Spike, STOP!" Buffy screamed, yanking him back. "This is crazy."

"I loved this place more than anything." He muttered, storming back towards the car.

Buffy couldn't hide the fact she was hurt. "Um.. what about me?"

"Excuse me?" Spike snarled, slamming his hand down on the bonnet of the car. "This happened because of you!"

Buffy turned away from him and started storming off down the street. She didn't know where she was going, or what she was doing, but she didn't need to hear that from him, of all people.

Spike pulled up beside her, slowing the car to simply trail her.

"Get in." He demanded.

"Go away." Buffy snapped, quickening her pace.

"Buffy, I didn't mean it."

"I don't care if you meant it or not, you said it!" Buffy stopped in her tracks and simply glared at him. "I've thought that ever since it happened, I've tortured myself over it. And it doesn't help when my boyfriend barely notices I'm there!"

"What?" Spike sighed. "You're being ridiculous."

"You don't touch me, or talk to me, or call me 'luv' anymore! You just ice me out."

"Get in the car, sweetheart." He leant over and opened the door for her.

Buffy slid in and slumped against the seat. "I hate you."

"Let's just go." Spike muttered, and sped up the car. "Put your seatbelt on."

She'd expected him to try and comfort her, or get her to deny that she hated him. She loved him, undoubtedly.

But right now it seemed like Spike felt anything but in return.

 

Chapter 16:

"Where've you been?" Spike asked accusingly as soon as Buffy came in the front door.

"I was at Dr. Matthew's office." She leant up and kissed him on the cheek. "Everything's still good. You okay?"

"Just peachy." Spike snapped, and he started up the stairs.

"Spike, wait." She grabbed his hand and pulled him into her arms. "Talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

"You know what's going on." He growled, resisting her embrace.

Buffy blinked back tears. "Why do you have to be like this?"

"Be like what?" Spike asked, laughing as though she were being ridiculous. He stormed upstairs and disappeared into his room.

Buffy sighed in frustration and followed him. "Be a total jerk! I'm only trying to be here for you."

Spike glared at her. "I'm not being a jerk, as you put it. I'm just going through a hard time."

"So let me be here for you!" Buffy cried and sat beside him. She kissed him softly and threaded her fingers through his blonde hair. "Come on. Just tell me what's on your mind."

"I don't have anything on my mind." Spike retorted defensively.

"You do. You're all reclusive, and sad, and you jump down my throat all the time!" Buffy glared at him. "You're being unfair. I care about you, I love you, and I want to help! So let me!"

"I don't want your help!" Spike growled and refused to look at her.

"You're being childish." Buffy spat out bitterly. "I trusted you with my secrets, with my thoughts and feelings, why can't you do the same?"

"Because I don't want to." Spike said, and he realized that he did sound incredibly childish.

Buffy kissed the tip of his nose, and whispered, "Spike.. I love you. Let me in."

Her affection went nowhere fast. Spike simply glared at her and said firmly, "I'm fine. So just bugger off."

"There you go being a jerk again!" Buffy yelled.

"Oh, right. I'm a jerk. What the hell was I thinking, taking in a homeless person? That was darnright cruel."

"Go to hell." Buffy hissed and wrenched away from him. "If you think of me like that.. of us like that.."

"Like what?!"

"Like you're the hero for picking me up off the streets!" Buffy screamed. She took a deep breath and said softly, "This isn't working."

"Fine. So we're finished." Spike spat out.

"Fine." Buffy snatched Mr. Gordo away from him. "I'll pack my things."

*

She had three bags packed when Spike appeared in the doorway. He looked just as angry as he had half an hour ago, and Buffy burst into tears. She fell into a huddle on the floor and sobbed

"Stop. Princess, just stop." Spike wrapped her up in his arms and hugged her tight. "I'm sorry. Please, luv, don't hate me."

"Jerk." Buffy mumbled against his chest.

"I'm not a jerk.. okay, I'm not deliberately being a jerk." Spike kissed her softly. "I just.. this hurts. Losing that place. I loved it."

"I know." Buffy looked up at him with teary eyes. "But you're meant to love me, too."

"I do love you." Spike kissed her again. "You taste lovely, princess."

"Don't." Buffy scowled at him. "I'm not in the mood."


"You're no fun."

"I'm feeling a lot less fun after two weeks of you telling me you're not in the mood." Buffy frowned, eyeing the large bulge pressed against the confining demin of Spike's jeans. "You can figure that out yourself."

"Mmm." Spike kissed her neck, his fingers sliding up her thigh. "Really?"

"Y-yes." Buffy whimpered as he pulled her panties off. "I said to stop."

"Really?" Spike asked dubiously as he slid two fingers inside her. "Because I don't think you're going to stop me."

Buffy moaned and thrust her hips up as he massaged her clit with his thumb. "More."


*

"That was amazing." Spike said breathlessly as he rolled onto his back.

Buffy turned on her side to face him, still tingling all over. She smiled at him. "Thankyou."

"For what?" Spike asked, tracing his fingers over her thigh.

"You're the first guy to ever make me feel like this." She whispered and kissed him softly. She paused, then asked nervously, "How many girls have made you feel like this?"

"Sweetheart, nobody's ever made me feel like you." Spike smiled at her. "But you're not asking that, are you?"

Buffy blushed and said quietly, "I know it's silly for me to ask something like how many girls you've been with considering my past."

"No, it's perfectly reasonable." Spike gathered her into his arms and pushed her hair to the side, giving his lips access to her neck. "Four... no, five."

Buffy spun around and frowned at him. "Only five?"

"Yeah." Spike shrugged. "You, Drusilla, and three other chits."

"Who were these three other chits?"

"Girl called Harmony, she was a right pain, then there was Darla, a family friend. And my first time was with my best friend in high school, Cecily."

"But you're so sexy." Buffy blurted out, and went an even deeper shade of red. "I mean.. you're just.. you're 27, and you're a guy. I thought it'd be more."

Spike shrugged again. "I don't need to be with a whole heap of women. I just want one. You."

He tossed her onto her back and devoured her lips in a hungry kiss.

"Aren't you going to ask how many I've been with?" Buffy asked nervously.

"It doesn't really mat-"

"We should be honest, though. It's important." She snuggled back into his arms.

"Okay. How many 'ave you been with?"

She instantly regretted the idea and felt her eyes fill with tears. Spike hugged her tight and whispered, "It doesn't matter, I told you. All that matters to me now.. is our future. We belong with each other, and to each other. Alright?"

Buffy smiled, trembling as she struggled to hold her tears back. This time, they were tears of joy - he definetly had a way with words, Spike did. She kissed him and repeated, "Alright."

*
 

Chapter 17:

"Hey princess. What're you doing up so early?" Spike kissed her on the cheek, eyeing the plate she was holding. "We eating charcoal?"

Buffy glared at him. "It was breakfast. But stupid Buffy screwed up again."

"You aren't stupid." Spike pressed his lips to hers and whispered, "Though you do look damn sexy today."

"I wanted to make you breakfast." Buffy pouted.

"I'm not that hungry." He went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water, dropping down into his seat. "Feel a bit sick."

"Sick.. or sad?" Buffy asked gently, scooting into his lap. "Tell me what's on your mind?"

"I miss the restaurant." Spike said softly, a look of shame appearing on his face. "Look, you don't need me acting like a baby."

"I understand." Buffy kissed him and smiled. "Keep going."

"I miss Andrew and Xander too. I miss going around and meeting all the customers. The kids always loved me, I gave them free cookies after dinner." Spike chuckled. "It was like my kid, that place."

"If you miss Andrew and Xander, stop refusing to see them when they come to see you. And you know the insurance will pay for a new restaurant.. think." Buffy sighed happily, tousling his hair affectionately. "A whole new one."

"Won't be the same." He muttered dismally. "I just want to get away from it all."

After a long pause, Buffy said brightly, "So let's. Let's just run away. For a little holiday, it would be great."

He felt like saying, "Don't be silly." Every sensible vein in his body screamed that it was totally insane.

To run away. It sounded so romantic. "Alright." Spike said, laughter growing in his voice. "Let's go away. Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know." Buffy giggled. "Anywhere."

"Where've you always wanted to go, princess?" Spike nibbled at her neck as she thought.

"Is Europe a little elaborate?" She asked nervously.

"Maybe not the whole continent at first, kitten."

"No, of course not. Silly." She play-slapped him across the head. "Just Italy."

"Italy?" Spike nodded. "Good choice."

*

"Ischia is the largest among the islands in the bay of Naples, and from ancient times Ischia was considered a very interesting area both for its good position into the Mediterranean sea and for the richness of its territory." Buffy read from the brochure, eyebrows raised. "Wow."

"My dad has a villa here." Spike explained, wrapping his arms around her. "This is better than Rome, it's secluded and very beautiful."

"But we can go to Rome, right?" Buffy squealed with laughter as he dug his fingers into her ribs, tickling her mercilessly.

"We can, but you'll love it here." He kissed her softly. "Look out the window."

Buffy looked out at their surroundings as the taxi bumped down the road. She grinned. "It is beautiful. How far is your dad's villa?"

"Not far now."

"Will he be there?" Buffy asked, panic rising into her voice.

"He might." Spike shrugged. "He won't mind, though."

"But I do! I can't meet your father!" Buffy jumped out of his arms and glared at him. "How could you not warn me?"

"He's not a monster, kitten. He's the best guy I know and he'll love you."

"I'm a whore!" Buffy shrieked. "Men don't love whores!"

"Ex-whore." Spike corrected, thanking God that the taxi driver spoke very little English. "And I love you. Dad doesn't have to know, alright? If you're not comfortable."

Buffy scowled and stared out the window. Spike took her hand and said softly, "If he's there, which he might not be, it doesn't make a difference. He'll probably go anyway, give us some privacy. Okay?"

"You could've told me.. sooner." Buffy paled as they stopped outside the villa. "Spike.."

"We're here to have fun." He reassured her gently. He turned to the driver. "Grazie.."

Buffy stared up at the house and swallowed hard. It was when she noticed the car in the driveway that she started really freaking out. "Spike, I can't, I.."

"You. Can." He kissed her firmly on the lips and said, "Unless you plan on sprouting wings and flying back to America, we're staying here. Dad or no dad. C'mon."

Spike dragged her up the path with one hand, their luggage dangling off his other. He unlocked the door and let Buffy past. "It's great, isn't it? We had it refurbished a while ago, it's been in the family for years."

"It's... wow." Buffy grinned as she gazed at the beautiful interior of the villa. "Really, it's very wow."

The sound of feet echoed down the stairs, and Spike smiled at Buffy, caressing the small of her back to calm her.

"William?" A man with grey hair and glasses hurried towards Spike and hugged him. "What are you doing here?"

"Me and Buffy," Spike nodded towards her, "decided to come on a holiday. Is that alright?"

"You might've rang, it's a mess at the moment." He turned to Buffy. "I'm sorry, I'm Rupert, William's father. I don't believe he's mentioned you."

Buffy blushed. "We haven't been together long, a month maybe-"

"Three." Spike corrected her. "And a half."

"Oh." Buffy's cheeks burned all the more. "It's nice to meet you, anyway."

"You too." Rupert smiled at her. "Most people call me Giles, so feel free. William, I'm here working. Not that you two aren't welcome, but you should've rang."

"Wait. Rupert Giles?" Buffy's eyes went wide. "The Rupert Giles?"

"The writer." Spike rolled his eyes. "Bloody bollocks."

Giles snorted with laughter. "I'd have to agree."

"My mom loved your stuff." Buffy grinned madly. "Especially the poetry. She used to read it to me when I was little."

"I'm glad to hear someone likes it. I should get back, though." Giles checked his wristwatch quickly. "I'll let you two unpack, and rest, but shall we have dinner at seven?"

"Sure." Spike took Buffy's hand again. "Come on, princess."

"Isn't this a little big to be a 'villa'?" Buffy asked curiously as he dragged her down a small passage, and opened the door on the left.

"Well, I guess." Spike sat down on the bed, dumping their bags on the floor. "A whole week away. It'll be great."

"Why didn't you tell your dad about me?" Buffy sat beside him, kicking at their bags.

"I never know where to reach him. He's either here, or in England, or on another tour." Spike sighed. "He doesn't even know about the restaurant, yet."

"Where's your mom?"

"She died when I was five." Spike frowned slightly. "I barely even remember her, now."

"That's a shame." Buffy snuggled up beside him. "Was it sad? I remember I felt like I was dying when my mom did."

"It's hard when you're just a kid and don't even understand where she's gone." Spike fell silent, pain lapsing over him as he remembered. "I gave my dad a real tough time."

"Well, I bet you can't beat running away and becoming a whore." Buffy laughed, even though she knew that it wasn't really funny.

"Can you beat screaming at him 'I only want mummy to put me to bed' until midnight, when I finally conked out?" Spike gave her a sad smile. "If he asked me to do anything, I'd just scream the house down. I hated him for some reason. I guess I thought he'd killed her."

"I thought the same. Well, I knew it." Buffy buried her face in Spike's shoulder, blinking back storms of tears. "He didn't help, when she got sick. He just.." She chuckled softly, and whispered, "Screamed the house down, or so to speak."

"That's awful." Spike hugged her to him and kissed the tip of her nose. "If we ever have kids, let's not screw it up, eh?"

Buffy grinned at him. "You think about that?"

"Of course." Spike smiled at her. "Don't you?"

"Yeah." She pressed her lips to his and didn't stop until they were both breathless. Panting, she whispered, "I love you."

"Love you too, sweetheart." Spike grinned and kissed her again, feeling her smile against his lips. He whispered again, "Love you too."

*

TBC - please review :-) Thanks to Sarah G, Beth, Melissa, Spikes Niblet, Blondie Bear, Txjmfan, Essi, Samica, Brat, Shippy, Spikes Pet, Allison, Alicia, Dee, Seraiza, Mickey Blue Eyes, Tina, and Kimber.

Chapter 18:

"So, how did you two meet?" Giles smiled at the couple sitting before him.

Spike glanced at Buffy and said softly, "I hired her as Andrew's assistant after Willow went on leave."

Giles smiled at Buffy. "Have you worked in the culinary field before?"

"Um.. at the Double Meat when I was a teenager." She giggled nervously. "Spike, this is really yum."

"Thanks sweetheart." He gave her hand a tiny squeeze.

"How is the restaurant, William?"

Spike almost choked on his drink and took a moment to recover. He cleared his throat and said awkwardly, "It's alright. Bit singed, but otherwise it'll be fine."

Giles glanced from Buffy, then back to his son. "William? what's going on?"

"There was a fire." Buffy explained quietly, watching Spike with concern. He was staring at his plate, pushing the food around with the fork.

"My god." Giles met Buffy's eye and they shared a concerned look, both aware of Spike's sudden misery. "William?"

"I'm going to take a shower." He muttered, and left the room, avoiding looking at their Buffy or his father.

"He's taking it kind of tough." Buffy said softly, her appetite suddenly gone. She pushed her plate away. "Did you ever know Drusilla?"

Giles raised his eyebrows. "Unfortunately so."

"She did it." Buffy took a deep breath. "She burnt his restaurant down, and died doing it."

Giles didn't reply for a while. Finally he asked, "Is he bothered about the restaurant, or Drusilla?"

"He hated Dru, as far as I know." Buffy shrugged. "But I guess it's both. He did love that place."

"He did." Giles agreed. "Look.. why not take him for a walk on the beach? He always loved that, as a child. It might cheer him up."

*

"Look at all the stars." Buffy whispered in amazement, gazing up at the glittering black sky. "Isn't it lovely?"

Spike dropped down onto the sand and stretched out. "I always loved it here."

"Your dad said you did." Buffy copied his pose, wrapping her arms tight around his waist. "What are all those caves over there?"

Spike grinned. "I used to climb all through them. I'd find the most amazing shells and little hideout spots."

"How often did you come here?"

"Every summer."

"You know what you are?" Buffy propped herself up on her elbows, smiling down at him. "You're a spoilt brat."

Spike burst out laughing, and cried indignantly, "Am not!"

"Come on, Spike. Summers in Italy, houses in England, America and France as well.. your own restaurant, a father who's a best-seller internationally. You so are."

Spike frowned at her. "Hey, I've worked hard for what I have. So has my dad."

"I know, I know." Buffy giggled quietly to herself.

"What now?"

"Nothing." Buffy shrieked as he started tickling her again, and collapsed on top of him. "You're a jerk."

"A jerk who happens to give you everything you desire." Spike pointed out, sighing happily as Buffy kissed him.

She frowned, suddenly pulling away. "Does that make me a rich bitch?"

They burst out laughing again. Buffy eventually climbed off him and got to her feet. "Take me to the caves."

"Alrightey." Spike pulled her into his arms and led her up the beach towards the caverns stretched out on the curved shore.

"Did you play in these with any friends?" Buffy asked curiously as he helped her over the scattered rocks.

"Our house is pretty far away from any others, and any neighbours nearby were just adults. Played all on my own most of the time."

"I was kind of a loner as a kid, at least until I met Willow. She was my best friend. Until then I just played 'Aladdin'.. I was the princess, and this wonderful guy came and whisked me away."

"That was a good movie." Spike agreed, kissing her softly. "And you are a princess."

"Sing to me?" Buffy requested quietly, threading her fingers through his.

"Don't be silly." Spike murmered, brushing his lips against hers as he led her up to the first of the caverns.

"I like you singing." Buffy whined as they gazed inside the small cave.

"I don't think we'll fit, sweetheart. I was much smaller back then." Spike gathered her into his arms and they sat down on the cold stone ledge together, dipping their feet into the rippling water.

"It's cold." Buffy cried as she waved her feet through the icy water.

"I'll keep you warm, sweetheart." Spike hugged her tight, pressing his lips to the back of her neck.

"Keep doing that." Buffy sighed, tingling with pleasure as he kissed all over her shoulders, his hands caressing her belly gently. "Please sing to me?"

Spike sighed and whispered, "What would you like me to sing?"

"Anything beautiful." Buffy requested. She tilted her head back and let Spike drop a light kiss on her forehead as he started to sing.

I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?

I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways, and under
On a magic carpet ride..

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming..

Spike paused, smiling down at her. Buffy scowled. "That wasn't the whole song."

"Marry me." He whispered, pulling her into his lap. He kissed her passionately, leaving her breathless, and repeated giddily, "Marry me. Please, princess."

"Spike.." Buffy stared at him for a long time, shocked by his request.

"Please, princess." He said, grinning at her madly. "I love you. I will show you a whole new world."

Buffy smiled at him. "I'd love to, I really would, b-"

He cut her off with a kiss, laughing against her lips. "I love you so much, Buffy, it's going to be-"

"Spike!" She yelled, trying to catch his attention. "I wasn't saying that. I was trying to say, I don't think I can."

*
 

Chapter 19:

*

Buffy stared at the dark blue water, foaming around her feet, and said softly, "I'm sorry."

She couldn't bear to look at Spike. Without even taking one glance at him, she could feel his pain, his shock, and his complete confusion.

"Why not?" Spike asked in a whisper, snatching his bare feet out of the water. It suddenly stung him with it's iciness, almost burning his feet up, if that were possible.

"I'm just not ready for that. I love you, I do, but it's too soon." Buffy finally looked at him and felt her heart shatter into a thousand pieces. He looked so miserable. "I'm horrible, I know. I just can't so soon and-"

"It's alright." Spike forced a smile at her. "You're right, it is soon."

"And you're okay with it?" Buffy asked him worriedly.

"I'm fine, princess." Spike kissed her softly and pulled her to her feet, forcing himself to stand straight. He felt like keeling over and throwing up for all the agony inside him right now.

"Thanks for understanding." Buffy said and wrapped her arms tightly around him. "I love you."

She kissed him passionately, convinced he was okay for the momentary passion they shared. But when they pulled apart, Spike looked all the more tense, and her worries resurfaced.

*

"Where are you going?" Buffy asked as Spike rolled off the bed.

"I'm going to take a shower." He muttered in response and disappeared into the bathroom. She hurried after him, but found the door was locked.

She'd tried to make love to him, but Spike had just made the same excuse about a headache over and over until she finally gave up. A day had passed and he was still upset, but trying to cover it with fake smiles and awkward kisses. Any time she asked if he was alright, the headache excuse would come up again, or he'd say he was thinking of the restaurant.

Maybe he was. Buffy knew he was still down about that, but somehow she thought her turning him down had more to do with it.

She didn't even know why she'd done it. Buffy would have loved to marry Spike.

"Spike? Baby?" She tapped gently on the door, and in her most seductive voice, she purred, "Can I come in?"

"I'll be done in a minute." He called, and she heard him turn the shower off.

Even if right now, she leapt into his arms and screamed that, YES, she would love to marry him... Buffy doubted he still felt the same.

*

"I'm going for a run." Buffy mumbled as she passed Spike and Giles in the kitchen. "I'll see you later?"

"Alright." Spike agreed and kissed her on the cheek. "Have fun."

Once she was gone, Giles turned to Spike and frowned. "What's gone wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Then why are you two so utterly miserable?"

"We aren't. Perfectly happy." Spike said dismally, stirring sugar into his coffee slowly. He glanced at his father and snapped, "Stop looking at me like that!"

Giles shrugged, whipping off his glasses to clean them. "Not until you tell me what's wrong."

He took a long swig of coffee, flinching as it burnt his tongue. Spike sighed angrily, and hissed, "I proposed to her."

Giles' face lit up. "William, that's wonderf-"

"She said no!" Spike barked, slamming his empty cup of coffee down.

"Why?"

"Said she wasn't ready." Spike rested his head in his hands. "I don't blame her, really. She's been through a lot."

Giles put his glasses back on and asked curiously, "Such as?"

"Such as being a wh-- um.." Spike struggled to find words.

Giles frowned. "Such as being a what?"

"A whore." Spike mumbled.

"A what? Willaim, what on earth are you thinking? Falling in love with a.. with a.. oh dear."

"Calm down, she's not one anymore. She's quit. That's how we met, I found her on the streets-"

"Dear god."

"Shut up!" Spike yelled and glared at his father. "I took her home with me because she was as good as dead. I took care of her, and yes, I fell in love with her. And before you start on it, she's a good person. She's really cleaning up her act, and -"

"You can't truly believe she loves you." Giles cut in, about to launch into his own rant.

"I do believe she loves me. I believe she's the one for me, and I love her no matter what she's bloody well been through. All I know is that it's a lot, and she needs someone to love her right now."

"But her pa-"

"I don't care about her past! I care about our future. I love Buffy." He said firmly.

"You said just a moment ago this girl isn't willing to give you a future. She turned down your proposal." Giles shook his head. "Really, William."

"You don't know her like I do." Spike growled, just as Buffy burst in throught the back door, panting. "You alright?"

"I told you, I went for a run." She ran to him and hugged him, pressing her sweat soaked body to his. Spike smiled, and kissed her softly. Buffy smiled back up at him, and realized that for the first time since she'd rejected him, Spike was being himself again.

However, his father seemed a different case. Giles didn't look happy with her at all.

"Is everything okay?" Buffy looked from Spike to Giles nervously.

"Fine." Giles said quietly. "I think I'll be leaving tonight."

"Dad, come on." Spike glared at his father. "You're being a total pillock."

"I have a book release on Monday. I should prepare." He left the room quietly.

"It's nothing." Spike said softly. "Just a little disagreement."

"Spike.. you aren't mad at me, right?" Buffy peppered kisses over his jawline, her hands caressing his back. She was practically ready to scream the Hallelujah chorus - he was Spike again. He wasn't icy, or grouchy, or reclusive. He was just her favourite guy in the whole world again.

Spike kissed her and whispered, "Of course not. I never was."

"Just disappointed?"

"Yeah." He admitted, brushing his hands through her long blonde hair. "But it's okay if you want to wait, luv. I understand it's not easy."

"Thankyou." Buffy rested against his chest, simply listening to his heart beat. The low thumping soothed her slowly, and she gazed up at him adoringly. "But my answer isn't no anymore.. it's a definite yes."

*
 

Chapter 20:

"It's good to be home." Buffy said softly as they walked over to the baggage claim.

"Here." Spike handed her his cell. "Call Andrew and get him to drop Mr. Gordo off by 6."

"Okay." Buffy dialled his number and waited for him to pick up. "Hey Andrew, it's Buffy. We're back!"

"Yay! That's so great."

"Is it done?" Buffy asked, lowering her voice so Spike couldn't hear her.

"Yep." Andrew sighed. "He's going to love it. But he doesn't suspect anything, right?"

"Spike doesn't know anything." Buffy assured him, unaware Spike was behind her with the bags. "I'll be there at eight, alright? Just drop of Mr. Gordo so he doesn't think anything's up with us."

She hung up and turned around to see Spike frowning at her. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. "Hey baby. Got the bags?"

"Sure." Spike muttered. He pulled out of her arms and handed her three bags. "Here."

Buffy struggled to carry them as he stormed through the airport, unsure what had upset him. Normally Spike carried all the bags in a gentlemanly way, but now he seemed angry. She caught up to him and took his hand. "Baby, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah." Spike hailed a cab and dumped the bags down for the driver to load into the car. "Get in."

"Okay." Buffy got into the car, watching him with concern.


Spike got into the front seat, refusing to look back at her.

"Where to?" The driver asked in a thick Italian accent.

"Oh, we've just been to Italy." Buffy said happily, putting her hand on Spike's shoulder, displaying her sparkling engagement ring to the driver. "We're engaged."

"You must be very happy." He smiled back at her.

"Yeah." Spike snorted. "Happy, that's the word."

*

"Spike, why are you being such a jerk?" Buffy asked, her sympathy for him lost, replaced with fury.

"I'm not." He snapped, fumbling with his keys as they stood outside the house.

Buffy snatched them away and glared at him. "Yes you are, and I want to know why!"

He snatched them back and found the right one, unlocking the door quickly. "I'm fine."

Buffy turned to see Andrew's car turning into the drive. "Hey, Andrew's here."

"Right." Spike let the bags fall to the floor and stormed down the drive.

"Hey, Spike!" Andrew grinned at him as he jumped out of the car. "How was It- aargh!"

He fell to the groung, blood seeping from his nose. Buffy screamed and ran towards Andrew, pushing Spike out of the way. Spike unclenched his fists, staring down at Andrew, shocked at what he'd just done.

"Spike, what the hell is your problem?" Buffy yelled, pulling Andrew into her arms. "What the hell did Andrew do?"

"He.. slept with you?" Spike said meekly, suddenly not so sure.

"I did not!" Andrew cried.

"But you were on the phone with him, and you said I didn't know anything about you two." Spike helped Andrew up, suddenly sick with guilt. "Mate, I'm sorry."

"You're such a jerk, Spike." Buffy stormed past him and slammed the front door behind her.

"What's going on?" Spike asked, offering Andrew his handkerchief.

Andrew went to the car and retrieved Mr. Gordo, who was meowing loudly from the confinement of his cage. "Nothing."

"But you're meeting Buffy at eight for something." Spike said as they went up to the house. He knocked on the door, and called out, "Sweetheart? Can I come in?"

"Do you think I'm some kind of slut?" Buffy screamed as she flung the door open.

"No. God, no." Spike gathered her into his arms and hushed her. "I'm crazy about you, and I just jumped to the wrong conclusion."

"I hate you." She mumbled against his chest.

"No, you don't. Please don't say that." Trying to stop himself from crying, Spike plucked Mr. Gordo out of his cage. "That hurts Mr. Gordo's feelings."

"Don't use the cat to make me forgive you." Buffy said, snatching her kitten away from him. "Spike.. I love you. I love you more than anything. Why can't you just see that?"

"I do, princess." He pressed his lips to hers, smiling as Buffy wiped the tears from his face.

"Don't cry. I'm not that mad."

"I'm sorry." Spike whispered and kissed her softly. "But can someone tell me what's going on?"

*

"Kitten, why am I wearing a blindfold?" Spike grumbled as she guided him somewhere.

"Because." Buffy said simply, grinning at Andrew as they walked up the path.

"That's not a proper answer." Spike said, gripping her arm tighter. "This is bloody frightening."

"It's okay, we're nearly there." Andrew said softly, as Buffy led him up a set of steps.

Music floated from somewhere nearby, and Spike recognized the song.

You fill up my senses
Like a night in the forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again..

"Where are we?" Spike demanded as Buffy removed his blindfold. He blinked, and stared around.

It was his restaurant. The walls were a different colour, just a simple white, but one one of the four was a huge mural of the ocean. In the centre of the room was one long table, set out with a white linen table cloth and hundreds of candles. Everyone he knew was seated there, from his staff on one side, to his father and a few other family members on the other.

"What is this?" He asked, turning to Buffy.

"It's your restaurant." She smiled at him. "We had it fixed up, and they're still working on your office, and the kitchen's still charred in spots, but it's all better. You can start business again in a week's time."

He threw his arms around her and hugged her. "God, I love you."

"It was Andrew's idea.. but you can kiss me." Buffy giggled as he pressed his lips to hers.

"Thanks, mate." Spike smiled at Andrew.

"Dinner's ready." Xander announced, approaching Spike with a proud smile. "Me and Willow did the mural."

"It's great." Spike grinned. "Where are me and my lady sitting?"

"Up here." Xander led him to the far end of the table. One of the waitresses pulled out the chair for him, and then again for Buffy.

"How long've you known about this?" Spike asked Buffy curiously.

"Since Willow and Andrew visited the first time." She grinned at him, accepting another kiss on the cheek.

"I love it. I love you." He whispered, tears in his eyes.

"I love you too." Buffy leant over and kissed him.

"I'd like to raise a toast?" Giles announced, tapping his champagne glass. "To my son, William. May you always be happy."

"And to Buffy, as well." Andrew piped up. "May she and Spike have a long, happy life together."

Everyone cheered, applauding the happy couple, who were still so caught up in each other they hadn't noticed either of the toasts.

*
 

Epilogue:

Six months later...


"Get those to table 13." Andrew ordered one of the waitresses, and turned to Buffy. "Can you chop this up?"

She nodded happily and started dicing the lamb when she felt strong arms around her waist. She smiled and said softly, "Hey you."

"How's it going, princess?" Spike asked, nuzzling her neck. "You know, if you're not up to this, you can go home."

"I like working." She said firmly as he kissed the back of her neck.

"Alright, alright." Spike spun her around and kissed her softly.

"Unhygenic." Xander muttered as he walked past, and Buffy pulled back.

She placed a hand on Spike's chest and whispered, "I'll talk to you later?"

"Sure, sweets. It's pretty busy out there, I'd better get back." Spike grinned at her and left the kitchen to go and see his customers.

"You guys are cute." Andrew smiled at her. "In a sickly way."

"It's not sickly." Buffy said indignantly.

"It is to people who have to see it all day, when we don't have it."

"You'll find it." Buffy promised him, smiling at Willow as she came back into the kitchen. "Do you want your chef back?"

Willow sighed. "Yeah. We need another waitress, Buffy. I'm fed up with it."

"Sure." She swanned out into the dining area and went to table eighteen, where Spike was talking to an elderly couple. "Have you ordered yet?"

"No, they haven't." Spike smiled at her.

Buffy took down their order and glanced at Spike. "Should I..?"

Spike nodded. "Yeah, get them a special bottle of Merlot, on the house."

"Alright." Buffy was about to leave when he grabbed her hand. Spike smiled down at the elderly couple, and said,

"This is the girl I was talking about, my beautiful wife, Buffy. Buffy, these are the Winterbournes."

"Nice to meet you." The woman said.

"You too." Buffy smiled politely, ready to leave again, but Spike kept a firm grip on her hand. "What?"

He kissed her softly, placing two hands on her rounded belly. "We're expecting in three months."

Buffy frowned at him. "Two. And a half."

"Yeah." Spike grinned at her again. "Twins."

Mr. Winterbourne smiled. "Have you chosen names?"

"Jasmine and Annie." Buffy said shyly. "In honour of 'our' songs."

"I'll have to excuse myself." Spike said politely. "Buffy will have your wine in a moment, so please enjoy your evening."

He led her towards the kitchen, arm coiled tightly around her waist. "You look really beautiful tonight, princess."

He noticed tears in her eyes and stopped dead in his tracks. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Buffy sniffled, giving him a dazzling smile. "I just can't believe we got our happy ending."

He pressed his lips to hers, and smiled. "Yes we did, luv. Yes we did."

*