A Love As Strong As Death

Author: enigmaticblue

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Everyone knows that not all these characters are mine, and I'm not making money off the ones that are. So there.

Archive: Anywhere that already has my stuff. Anywhere else, ask and it shall be given to you.

Summary: Set after the end of Cast Me Not Away and its follow up stories. This sequel is longer and darker than the intervening short stories. It deals with family, children, immortality, life and death, and making amends. We will also be jumping around in time a bit, so look sharp.

A/N: I debated for a long time before writing this one, although the idea was there before I even finished CMNA. Some of you will believe that I have ruined the previous stories, which is fine. All I ask is that if you're unhappy with where this goes that you'll go back, re-read Cast Me Not Away through Silver Bells, and then you can flame me if you'd like. I'll calmly pull out the fire-extinguisher and ignore you, but that's alright. The themes have been there; I just hadn't quite managed to elaborate on them yet. (Oh, and before anyone screams Nika, Wesley, Spike and Buffy will survive. More than that I won't promise.)

 

Chapter 23: March 2017

 

Davey and Will lagged slightly behind Hannah. She was walking them home as she always did, Sam acting as her shadow. They were talking and laughing, Hannah allowing Sam to carry her backpack as well as his. She was finding out how nice it was to have someone else take care of her on occasion.

They were wrapped up in their own world, leaving Will to attempt to console his twin. "Maybe it'll be okay?"

"How is it supposed to be okay?" Davey asked glumly. "There's no way they're going to let me play Little League this summer. I'll probably be stuck doing lessons all the time." A note of panic crept into his voice. "And England! We're s'posed to go visit this summer. What if they leave me behind?"

"They're not going to leave you behind," Will said, sounding very much like his father. "'Sides, Mum knows now about Mrs. Howard."

Davey scowled. "Yeah, and you heard her. She said I had to stick it out this year. Dad's going to kill me."

"He's not going to kill you."

"Yes, he is," Davey argued. "You're always getting high marks, and I just—"

"I'll tell them," Will said. "It's not your fault."

"It's not fair."

Will didn't have a response to that. It wasn't entirely the teacher's fault that Davey was failing. His twin had always struggled more with school, and when the pressure was on like this, Davey tended to freeze up. Put him in a similar situation on the baseball diamond or football field, and it was the exact opposite, though.

Will understood that. Davey was essentially his other half, after all.

"Dawn and Connor are coming," he said, trying to find something that would cheer Davey up. "Mum and Dad will be in a good mood."

Davey kicked at a rock in the path. "Not after they see that note."

Will sighed. "Yeah. You're probably right."

~~~~~

Wesley looked up at the knock on the door. The downside of owning a business was the paper work, and he had to admit that it was his least favorite part. He and Spike had retained a reputable accountant a number of years before, but that didn't get him completely off the hook. He'd hoped to be finished before Dawn and Connor arrived for dinner, but he kept getting interrupted.

"Come in," he called, watching as Davey pushed the door open, remaining in the doorway. "What is it, Dafydd?"

There was more impatience in his voice than he'd meant to convey, and Wesley winced when his son did. "Come inside, son."

Wesley wasn't sure what had brought his son in to visit. Will could often be found sitting on the couch, reading silently as he did his work. Davey was more likely to be outside, especially when the weather was nice.

Even if the rarity of Davey's visits wasn't an indication, the expression on the boy's face would have been enough to tip Wesley off that he wasn't going to like what Davey had to say. He'd been a father long enough to know guilt when he saw it.

Davey said nothing, just came up to the desk and handed him an envelope. It was unopened, and Wesley frowned, wondering why he hadn't shown it to Nika first. Typically, she was the one the boys brought their school notes to, since she was usually the first to greet them.

His frown deepened as he read the teacher's words.

David is doing poorly in three out of five of the major subjects. I would suggest keeping him back a year. He lacks the maturity and focus needed to be successful.

Wesley raised an eyebrow. "Does Mrs. Howard know your full name?"

"She doesn't ever spell it right," Davey replied, knowing what his father was referring to. So far, Wesley hadn't shouted, or even appeared to be all that upset. He relaxed slightly.

One of the reasons that Wesley preferred to let Nika deal with this sort of thing first was that he feared reacting as his father had. He did not want to demand perfection from his sons, knowing first hand how damaging those unreachable expectations could be. Wesley wasn't sure why Davey had come to him first, but he didn't want to hurt the boy's feelings.

After all, he had very vivid memories of standing before his father in just this way with a similar note. Not that he'd been failing, but he hadn't managed perfection. He hadn't been good enough.

Remembering that scene, and his father's harsh words, gave Wesley the ability to take a deep breath and ask, "Would you like to tell me what happened?"

Davey looked at him, startled, and then stared at the floor. His expression was a mix of sullenness and dread. "I'm not that smart."

"I don't believe that for a minute." Wesley moved around the desk so he could meet Davey's eyes. "I know you've been doing your homework. Your mother and I have been checking it over. Unless you haven't been bringing it all home—"

"No!" Davey said, stung that Wesley could think he'd been lying for the last few months. "I haven't been hiding anything!"

Wesley nodded. "I believe you. You've always been honest with me in the past. So what's been happening? Because you are certainly not stupid."

"It's the tests," Davey confessed, his face turning a dull red. "It's just—I can't do them. My brain freezes up."

Wesley shook his head. "Failing a few tests shouldn't be enough to hurt your scores that much, Davey. Surely—"

"You can ask Will," Davey shot back. "She gives them out every week. Quizzes and then tests too. Mum said I had to stick it out and get my grades up. Now I won't be able to go on, and everybody's going to think—"

Wesley hushed him with a look and a rough hug. "You're not staying back," was his firm answer. "If I have to tutor you myself this summer, you will go on to the next grade. Besides, you're not going back to that school, so it shouldn't matter what this woman has to say." The way his dad said "this woman" made Davey grin. "She can't even spell your name right."

"Then I can still come to England with you?"

Wesley stared at him. "Why on earth would you think we'd leave you behind?"

Shrugging uncomfortably, Davey said, "If I have to be in summer school..."

"You aren't going to summer school," Wesley said. "As I said, I'll tutor you myself, and I'm sure your mum will help. Although, I imagine you'll end up wishing you were in summer school."

Davey gave a huge sigh of relief. "Then I can still play baseball?"

"Yes, you can play baseball," Wesley replied. "Now, go find your mother and ask her to come see me, please. And do your homework!" he called as Davey ran out the door, heaving a sigh of relief. That hadn't gone too badly, although it seemed they needed to have another conference with the teacher. Wesley was sure that she had Davey's best interests at heart, but she didn't know his son as he did.

Wesley hadn't received much support from either of his parents growing up, and he never wanted his own children to be able to say the same. This was a battle he had no trouble fighting on Davey's behalf.

~~~~~

"We're telling them tonight, right?" Buffy asked, watching as Spike finished buttoning his shirt.

He shrugged. "Up to you, pet. We don't have to."

"No, I want to, if you do," she replied, smiling. "Besides, I don't think Meg's going to be able to keep it a secret much longer."

Spike grinned. "She's nearly bursting, yeah?" They had sat Meg down the day after they'd done the at-home pregnancy test. With Dawn and Connor coming, it was unlikely that Buffy would be able to keep her morning sickness private, and Dawn would know exactly what was going on, since her own experiences were so recent.

Neither of them had been sure how Meg would react. It was a toss-up between thrilled to death and upset over losing her spot as an only child. They needn't have worried, however. Meg had been wanting a sibling ever since Carwen was born, and she immediately started telling her parents how big of a help she could be.

Meg really was a good kid. Buffy was deeply afraid that it wasn't going to last through her teenage years. Hadn't her mother always said "Wait until you have a child just like you someday?"

Now, of course, she wanted to tell the world, and had been persuaded to keep quiet with some difficulty. Dawn and Connor had arrived only a few hours before, and Meg had nearly dropped the news twice already.

"You're really okay with this?" Buffy asked suddenly, wanting to know that he wasn't just play-acting being happy for her sake.

Spike turned to look at her, his blue eyes serious. He'd begun to develop a tan in the last few months, and it just intesified the color. "I'm okay with it." Spike sat down next to her on the bed. "Let me ask you. Are you really okay with me? Being human, I mean. I know you didn't want me to do this, and I can't help but wonder—"

"I didn't want you to leave," Buffy corrected him gently. "I didn't want to lose you. Spike, I love you. I know you feel different, but you're the same to me. You're still the man I fell in love with. I've had so many people leave one way or another, I was scared to death of losing you. You came so close in Cleveland..."

He pulled her to him, still not used to the fact that his skin was as warm as hers now. Spike had found a few new gray hairs that morning, a reminder that he was aging.

Right along with his wife.

"I just thought it was because you wanted me because I was a vampire," Spike said, adding sheepishly, "Figured it was because the undead got you hot."

It was such a typical comment coming from him that Buffy didn't even react except to roll her eyes and thwap him across the chest half-heartedly. "Would we be dealing with this now if you were still a vampire?"

"No, luv, but—"

"I know I've screwed up before," Buffy said. "I know that sometimes when you doubt that I love you, there's good reason."

"Buffy—"

"But I love you. I don't think I could live without you. I was so afraid that you wouldn't come back to me, or that you'd be a stranger, and I couldn't deal with that."

It wasn't often that they were so honest with each other. Actions spoke louder than words for the both of them, and she and Spike often preferred it that way. Still, Buffy had gotten better over the years at being honest, at telling Spike how she was feeling, or what she thought. During those awful months when Spike was trying to figure out what he wanted to do, and Buffy was doing her best to ignore his journey, she had not allowed herself honesty.

During the last couple of months, once he was back safe with her, Buffy felt that Spike might be too fragile to hear the words, and not ready to listen.

"I love you," Spike said softly. "Don't doubt me when I say that I'm thrilled 'bout this. You know I think of Meg as mine, but this—"

"This is different," Buffy agreed. "It would be nice if he looked like you."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Could be a girl."

"I'm rooting for a boy," she replied. "It'd be nice."

He smiled, reverently putting a hand over her abdomen. "That it would." They sat for a long moment before Spike started speaking again. "I have a question, but don't feel like you have to say yes."

"Just ask," Buffy replied.

Spike shrugged. "You think you'd want to renew our vows?"

 

"What?" Surprise made her tone sharp.

He stood quickly. "Forget it. It's a stupid idea, and—"

"No, it's not stupid," Buffy quickly replied. "I just—you surprised me. Why do you want to renew our vows?" He just looked at her. "Humor me."

Spike sighed. "Because it would be nice. Because I'm not the bloke you married, even if you don't think of us any differently. You married the vampire without a soul. I'm—not him."

It was useless to try to argue, of that Buffy was sure. For one thing, she'd been trying to convince him that he was the same man since he came back. Spike just wasn't buying it, and it had only been when she'd stopped trying to tell him he was the same, and simply accepted what he was, that things had gotten easier between them.

It didn't really matter anyway. Buffy would still marry him in a heartbeat, so it wasn't like it really mattered. Or maybe it did matter, but not in the way that it would to Spike.

"Okay."

"Okay? Okay what?" Spike asked, scowling.

Buffy smiled. "Okay, I'll renew our vows, and I do get why you want to do this. Just one thing."

"What's that, luv?" Spike asked, relief evident in his tone. He hadn't wanted her to think less or him, nor had he been certain she would understand.

"We do it before the baby's born," Buffy replied. "I'm going to do it right this time. First the wedding, then the baby."

Spike couldn't help but laugh.

~~~~~

Meg heard her father laugh down the hall, and a little more of the fear seeped out of her bones.

She had a lot of friends whose parents were divorced, and she'd heard their stories. How their moms and dads had yelled at each other, or had never spoken. How one parent was never around and the other was always sad.

Ever since her dad had come home from that trip, Meg had been scared that he would leave, or that her mom would make him go. They had fought for months before he'd left, and Meg was sure that it was something bad.

By now, she knew the difference between a normal argument and a fight that would leave the house ten degrees cooler for days.

Meg's joy over getting a little brother or sister was real, but it was more than that. She figured her parents were definitely sticking together now. They wouldn't have wanted another kid otherwise.

It would be nice to have a younger sibling, though. She had wanted one since Carwen was born. Meg had envied the twins their younger sister, plus having Hannah living with them. There was always so much going on, and she wished it could be more like that at her house.

This was a good start, though.

 

 

Chapter 24: March 2017

 

Sam didn't let go of Hannah's hand until her embracing Connor and Dawn forced him to. This was the first time he'd faced her family since they had been attacked, and he wondered how Wesley was going to react to his presence. He really liked Wesley and Nika, and he hated to think that they would think less of him.

"This must be Sam," Dawn said, smiling at him. "It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise," he replied, flushing slightly as he realized that Hannah must have told them about him.

Connor raised an eyebrow. "So are you treating Hannah right? Because if you aren't..."

Hannah glared at him. "Connor, stop teasing. I can take care of myself."

"You know I have to check on my favorite Slayer," Connor replied, not noticing that Buffy was standing behind him.

"Your favorite Slayer, huh?" Buffy asked, winking at Hannah. "I thought that was me."

As Connor tried to get himself out of that pickle, Hannah tugged Sam away. "Come on, Buffy will keep him busy for a while."

"Ah, Sam, there you are," Wesley called out. "I wanted to speak to you."

Sam froze, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Don't worry so much," Wesley assured him. "You're not in any trouble. Hannah, Nika could use your help in the kitchen." Hannah looked at her boyfriend, shrugging helplessly before she headed off to find Nika. Wesley led the young man back to his office, and then waved him towards the couch. "Have a seat."

"Is this about the other night?" Sam asked.

Wesley nodded. "It is. I assume you haven't told anyone what happened."

He shook his head. "Spike and Buffy told my parents that Hannah fell off her bike, and that I had helped to get her to the hospital. I figured that was a pretty good story."

"Then you aren't planning on telling anyone what really happened."

"Who would believe me?" Sam asked incredulously.

Wesley nodded. "And yet you had no trouble believing."

Sam was silent for a long time. "Did Hannah tell you how we met?"

"She said you were in a few of her classes," Wesley replied. "I take it there was more to it than that."

"Last year, before I got my growth spurt, the football players thought it was fun to shove me into my locker on a regular basis," Sam replied. "One day, Hannah grabbed Reuel and shoved him in a locker instead. No offense, but a girl who can do that isn't normal." A goofy grin spread over his face. "She's extraordinary."

Wesley had to fight to keep from laughing at the boy. Young love was interesting to watch in action. "I do apologize that Hannah placed you in danger Friday," the Watcher said, watching carefully for his reaction.

"It wasn't Hannah's fault!" Sam said quickly. "I wanted to go along. I just—I'm sorry I ran off. I mean, I know she wanted me to, and Spike and Buffy said it was the right thing, but—"

"You did exactly the right thing," Wesley said, quick to reassure him. "Without your quick assistance, things could have turned out much worse." He took a deep breath. "I was wondering if you would like to know more."

Sam stared at him. "What do you mean?"

"You do not have to be a part of this world, Sam," Wesley said quietly. "You can certainly be Hannah's boyfriend without knowing or doing anymore than you already do. In fact, you could go about your life, forgetting all about what Hannah showed you."

"Or?"

"Or you could choose to learn all you can and help us on a different level," Wesley replied.

Sam shook his head. "But there's nothing special about me. I'm just a guy."

Wesley gave him a gentle smile. "Just as there is nothing special about me. The Watcher's Council, the people whose duty it is to look after Slayers, has utilized the talents of very ordinary people for quite some time now. We have found, in fact, that they are often more than they seem." He stood, indicating that the interview was over. "You don't have to make a decision today, but I wanted to let you know that you have that option."

Sam stood as well, meeting Wesley's gaze with a directness that the Watcher respected. "This is Hannah," the young man said quietly. "I'll do anything I can to help her. Even if—" He stopped, looking away for a moment. "Even if we're not always together, I think that I'll always love her. And I think—I think this is important."

"This is very important," Wesley agreed, putting a hand on his shoulder. "We'll talk more later, Sam. If you want to be a part of this, there will be a place for you."

That was something Sam had always dreamed of.

~~~~~

"Spill," Dawn commanded, finding Hannah in the kitchen.

"What?" she asked innocently.

Dawn stared at her. "Hannah, you didn't tell me he was that cute!"

Hannah grinned, her eyes softening. "Yeah, he really is, isn't he?"

"You're in love!" Dawn exclaimed, sounding like a teenager again herself.

The younger girl shrugged. "Maybe." When every eye in the kitchen turned towards her, she flushed bright red. "Okay, so I am. Who wouldn't be?"

Buffy grinned as she walked through the doors. "Has he asked you to prom yet?"

"Sort of," Hannah replied. "I said that if we were still going out at prom, I'd go with him, and he's talked about buying tickets."

"You'll need a dress," Nika said. "We'd probably better start looking soon."

Buffy nodded. "That's probably a good idea. You'll want to take your time finding something. Senior prom is a big deal."

Hannah fiddled with a napkin she was supposed to be folding. "I don't know. I mean, dresses are expensive, and—"

"Don't even think about it." Enid's voice was sharp, cutting off the other women who were about to say the same thing. "As Buffy said, this is very important for a young woman. You'll want to look your best."

Hannah blinked. "But patrol—"

"That's why there are two Slayers," Buffy said easily. "Not to mention Spike and Angel. Between the three of us, we should be able to handle anything that comes up that weekend, leaving you free for a couple of days to be a normal high school senior."

Buffy had long since gotten over her jealousy. Besides, she wouldn't give up what she had now for the whole world, even though there had been a lot of pain over the course of the journey.

"There'll be other things to get done too," Nika chimed in. "Your hair and nails, of course. Those appointments should be made soon."

Hannah was beginning to look a little overwhelmed. "Really? I mean, thank you, but—"

"Don't fight it," Dawn suggested, a touch of nostalgia in her voice. "I remember my senior prom." She suddenly laughed. "Buffy went on a killing spree, just to make sure there weren't going to be vampires crashing the dance."

"Well, there were hellhounds at mine," Buffy said, then started recounting the whole story, Hannah shaking her head.

That tale led to another from Nika, about a dance she'd gone to as a teen in Wales, and then Enid told the story of the time she'd gone on a date with three men—all on the same evening.

Hannah laughed as she listened and felt once again that she'd come home.

~~~~~

The table was piled high with food, as was fairly typical of this sort of gathering. Dawn and Connor were planning on spending the next day at the Hyperion, catching up with Angel and Cordelia, who hadn't been able to make it to dinner. Xander and Willow were both coming later in the week, and so it was really just the core group.

Hannah and Sam had been afforded the honor of sitting at the adult's table, while Meg and the twins ate in the kitchen. Carwen had been fed earlier, and the other children were looking after her, leaving the adults to eat in peace.

Once everyone's plates were filled, Dawn looked over at Spike. "Okay, you said you were going to announce the big news at dinner."

"I did, didn't I?" Spike replied with a smug smile.

Wesley hid a laugh. Spike was sounding more and more like himself. It was nice to hear him joking around again after the gloom of the last few months.

"Stop teasing, sweetie," Buffy said, although there was an answering sparkle in her own eyes.

He shrugged, his attitude one of complete insouciance. "Should you tell them, or shall I?"

"You're enjoying this too much," Dawn exclaimed. "Come on, Spike! We've been dying all day."

"What's this about big news?" Hannah asked. "You guys aren't pregnant or something, are you?"

Every eye turned, and she flushed. "Never mind."

Spike lifted an eyebrow. "You completely ruined the drumroll, pet."

"Sorry," Hannah said quickly, turning an even deeper shade of red. "It was just a guess."

"It was a good one," Buffy said, her tone a shade rueful. Although, she thought it probably served Spike right for drawing out the suspense so painfully.

Spike sighed. "Yes, Buffy's pregnant. Looks like we'll be havin' another kid in, what?" He looked over at her.

Buffy shrugged. "I'd guess another seven or eight months. We'll know more once we hear what the doctor has to say. I've got an appointment on Wednesday."

There was a general round of congratulations, plus some good-natured teasing surrounding the fact that both Dawn and Buffy were pregnant at the same time. "Although," Dawn said, "I'd like to point out that I'm due in just a few months."

The news just added to the already-celebratory feel of the evening, although Hannah leaned over to whisper another quick apology to Spike. "Forget it, Sweet," Spike said with a wry grin. "Serves me right for not just spillin' the news."

"I'm really sorry," she said again, although the seriousness of her tone indicated that she wasn't talking about inadvertantly ruining his surprise.

"This about the other night?" he murmured, amidst the general conversation. At her nod, Spike sighed. "Don't be. I s'pose I'm sorry too. I should have been a little quicker about getting back into our usual routine. If I had been, you wouldn't have been put in that position."

"It's not your fault," Hannah said, worried that he was taking an a load of guilt he didn't need. "I shouldn't have been out there without backup, not when I knew that the Kraechers were around."

"True enough," Spike allowed. "Tell you what. From here on out, we'll both try not to do anything stupid, yeah?"

Hannah grinned and nodded, and Spike gave her pony-tail an affectionate tug. "You were right about one thing, you know," he added.

She gave him an inquiring look. "What's that?"

"Reckon I have managed to save a couple of Slayers," Spike replied. "And it does count for a lot."

~~~~~

It was late by the time everyone went home. Wesley had watched from the window as Sam had bid Hannah a lingering goodbye. He had been somewhat reassured by their still-tentative embrace. Even though he liked Sam, the thought of his Slayer going much further than good night kisses on the front porch wasn't a happy thought.

Hannah's face when she came inside, however, flushed and happy and somehow both older and younger—it made his heart ache in a special way. She would be eighteen soon, and technically his and Nika's guardianship would be over at that time. More than that, she was growing up, and though Hannah would always be his Slayer, she was no longer a child.

Wesley had never imagined that the Watcher-Slayer relationship could be like this. He thought that it probably never would have been had he stayed with Buffy or Faith. He'd been too near their own ages at the time to have the truly paternal relationship that Giles and Buffy shared, or that he now shared with Hannah. It was deeper and richer than he'd ever imagined.

It was probably a richer relationship than his father had known.

Wesley sighed, wishing that Roger Wyndam-Pryce hadn't come to mind. It had been five years since he'd last spoken to the man, although his mother still called every once in a while. Nika still sent pictures of the children every year, and again at Christmas, but that was the extent of their contact with one another. There were days he wished it could have been different, but it wasn't possible.

The boys had been four when Roger had approached him, asking when he was planning on enrolling them in the Watcher's Academy. Wesley's reply, that he wasn't planning on doing anything of the sort, had brought Roger up short. There had been the long speech about family honor and duty and the fact that there had been a Wyndam-Pryce on the Council for generations upon generations.

Wesley had calmly replied that they would not go to the Academy, but that they would be given an opportunity to decide whether or not they wanted to be Watchers. If they so chose, he had already worked things out with Giles for their training. When asked why not the Academy, Wesley had said, "Because I refuse to send my children away for seven years of their lives, Father. I want to see them grow up."

"You're a fool," was the response. "A sentimental fool. Mark my words, Wesley, those boys of yours will turn into soft-headed idiots."

"I very much doubt it," Wesley had said. "Their mother would never allow it."

Instead of hearing the wry humor in Wesley's voice, Roger had said, "You are no son of mine to neglect your duties to your family. I will see that a place is saved for David and William—"

"It's Dafydd, Father," Wesley had replied coldly, "and please do not bother. I won't be changing my mind."

He'd hung up the phone then, knowing that arguments were useless. Wesley had not spoken to him since, and his father had not tried to call. It was just as well. He had his own family, not to mention the support of the Council. Tradition was taking a backseat to utility these days, and Wesley was certain that either or both of the boys—or Carwen, for that matter—would be well enough trained, should they choose that path.

His children were going to have a choice; he'd promised himself and Nika that much.

"Gloomy thoughts, my love?"

"Not gloomy, just remembering," Wesley replied, putting  his arm around Nika's shoulders as she snuggled up to him.

She smiled, seeing their reflections in the window. "You were watching Hannah."

"I wanted to be sure Sam got off alright."

Nika chuckled. "Cariad, I know you better than that."

Wesley smiled in response. "Yes, you do. I like that boy, Danika."

"You talked with him tonight?"

"Yes, and he wanted to help." Wesley laughed. "He's a bit too eager, actually, but I imagine that has as much to do with his age as his relationship with Hannah."

"Quite possibly," Nika replied. "He's a good kid." She was silent for a moment. "When did you want to discuss matters with Hannah?"

"I'm not sure," Wesley admitted. "We could do it on her birthday, I suppose, or possibly before. I'm not sure she realizes the significance of the date, other than in Slayer terms."

Nika wrinkled her nose. "She knows that the Council doesn't subscribe to such barbaric rituals any longer."

"Yes, but the tests this summer are designed to do essentially the same thing, without the risk." Wesley shook his head. "It's a good thing Giles managed to do away with that, because they would have had to conduct the Cruciamentum over my dead body."

Nika lifted an eyebrow. "They would not have gotten that far," she said. "Because Nain and I would have cursed the lot of them." The lines on her forehead deepened as she frowned. "I would suggest speaking to Hannah before her birthday, however. Just in case there's any doubt in her mind."

Wesley nodded. "Of course. That might be best." He bent his head, catching her lips in a heated kiss, the passion no less strong now than it had been more than a decade before.

They were both breathing hard when he pulled back, and Nika took his hand, tugging him back towards the bedroom. "Let's go."

"We need to talk about that note from Davey's teacher," Wesley reminded her, although he definitely had other things on his mind.

Nika gave him an incredulous look. "Are you mad? After that kiss? We can talk in the morning. Or sometime tomorrow afternoon, if Nain could be persuaded to take Carwen out for the day."

Wesley grinned, a hungry expression in his eyes. "Oh, I'm sure she'd be happy to help."

Their conversation that night required no words.

 

Chapter 27: December 2014

Buffy spotted Wesley immediately in the waiting room for the maternity ward. He was sitting slumped, his head in his hands, and seeing his posture made her fear the worst. "Wes?"

He sat up immediately, staring at her. "Buffy, you didn't have to come."

"Nonsense," she retorted. "Of course I had to come. I wasn't going to let you sit here all by yourself. How's Nika?"

Wesley shook his head, worry stamped on his features. "I don't know. They wouldn't allow both Enid and me back there, and we thought it best—" He stopped, running a hand over his face, obviously trying to keep himself under control.

Buffy rubbed his back soothingly. "Nika's going to be fine," she assured him. "The baby too. It's early, but it's not that early."

"I can't lose them," he replied.

"You won't." Buffy heard the desperation in his voice and knew exactly how he felt.

He took a deep breath. "Where's Spike?"

"He stopped by your house and found Hannah by herself. That's where he was when I called. Spike will stay with her and the boys tonight, and Dawn's got Meg." She stood. "Do you want coffee? Or tea?"

"Coffee, please," Wesley replied. As she walked away, he called out after her, "Thank you."

She smiled at him over her shoulder. "Don't mention it."

Wesley leaned back in the hard plastic chair and stared up at the ceiling. Nika had started experiencing contractions, and they had grown in force quickly. The due date was two months off, and the doctor had started shooing him out of the delivery when the monitors showed that the baby was in distress.

They had started talking C-section, and lack of oxygen, and emergency procedures. All Wesley could think about was three miscarriages and that this was his wife and child they were talking about so clinically.

He felt as though his heart was in his throat.

"Wes?" Angel was standing in front of him, looking concerned. "Are you okay?"

"How—"

"Connor was with me when Dawn called," Angel replied, shrugging. Wesley always forgot how quickly news often spread. They were all connected in so many ways, on so many levels, it was impossible to keep a secret. "How is Nika?"

He shook his head. "They wouldn't tell me. Enid's with her, but—" The doctors had chased him out, but he'd needed to go. There was nothing he could do this time. No amount of coaching could have prepared them for this nightmare.

"Is someone with the kids?" Angel asked.

Wesley nodded. "Spike apparently dropped by after we'd left. He's going to stay."

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

It was not a question he would have had to ask once upon a time. Although there had been a lot of repair work done on their friendship, they would never have the closeness that had once characterized their relationship. Angel had come to grips with that, even if he couldn't quite forgive himself.

These days, he wasn't always sure where the line between them fell.

"If you'd like," Wesley replied. "Buffy's here, so you wouldn't have to."

There was a touch of wistfulness in his voice, as though asking Angel to stay was a request above and beyond the call of duty. "I'll stay," Angel said.

"Thank you." The sincerity in Wesley's voice didn't go unnoticed.

Angel leaned back in the chair, trying to find a comfortable position. "It's going to be fine, Wes," he said. "Nika—she's tough."

"I know." Wesley just wasn't sure that would make a difference right now.

~~~~~

"Maybe you ought to get to bed, pet," Spike suggested. "I'll stay up."

Hannah shook her head stubbornly. "I wouldn't be able to sleep."

"Right." Spike was at a loss. He had no idea what to do with the girl, so he reached for the remote and flipped on the TV. She watched him channel surf in silence, unsure of what kind of conversation you made with a vampire.

There really wasn't anything on, and so the vampire soon turned to look at the girl. She reminded him of someone, but he couldn't put his finger on who. "So you like it here?"

Hannah looked over at him in surprise. No one had asked her that yet, possibly because they didn't really want the answer. After all, if she didn't like it—if being the Slayer and living with her Watcher sucked, there wasn't anything anyone could do about it.

Good thing that wasn't the case.

"Yeah."

"I meant what I said, you know." Spike kept his gaze on the television, the late night talk show host and his guest laughing at something. "About it being different."

"I know."

"Your mum—she didn't hurt you or anything, did she?"

No one had asked about that either, and probably for the same reasons. Or maybe not. Maybe, Hannah thought, they just wanted to respect her right to privacy. There were so many people around all the time that privacy was a very important thing.

"No." Then, for reasons Hannah couldn't quite fathom, she turned and looked at him. "Not really. Sometimes she went a little crazy, and then I just tried to stay out of her way."

"Bit of a nutter, was she?"

She couldn't really take offense at the term, since it was pretty accurate. "They said she had bipolar disorder, or something like that. She'd be depressed, and then she'd be—I don't know, hyper or something. Crazy."

"Dru—that's the vampire that made me—was a loon," Spike said conversationally. "She'd go off on me, completely barmy, and then the next day would be callin' me her brave knight, and I'd have to take care of her."

Hannah felt a strange kind of tension leave her. Everyone was so nice, so normal, that she often wondered how she was supposed to fit in. It wasn't like any of them would understand about her mom—but apparently Spike did, to a certain extent.

"That was mom," she admitted. "When she was depressed, she wouldn't even get out of bed." Hannah looked over at the vampire to see how he was taking her words. "It's weird, because everybody seems to think that being the Slayer is hard. It's not."

Spike tilted his head. "Why is that?"

"Because that's all I have to do," she replied. "I mean, besides school. I help out and stuff, but—" she stopped, unsure of how to explain. "Before, if I didn't do laundry, I didn't have clean clothes, and if I didn't go to the grocery store, we didn't have anything to eat. Nika—Nika said they were going to give me an allowance, and I don't have to use it to buy food or pay rent."

"You worried that's going to go away?" Spike asked. "Doesn't work that way, pet. Bein' the Slayer's a lifetime commitment."

Hannah shook her head. "But they didn't—they don't have to do all this stuff. I don't get it."

There—it was all out in the open now, and the young Slayer watched him with wary eyes. Spike wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. What the girl was seeing was a family that had been built over years. It was impossible to explain that sort of thing in minutes or even hours, especially since she hadn't an inkling something like this could even exist.

"If it makes you feel any better," Spike began, "Nika did about the same thing for me. It's what she's always done—taking people in and makin' them feel at home." He saw the doubt on her face. "That'll take time to figure out, luv. It took me a bit to get used to it, too, an' it took Wesley two years to get comfortable. He told you about me, right?"

Hannah blinked at the abrupt change in subjects. "Wesley? Yeah, you're a vampire."

"He tell you I've killed two Slayers?"

"Sure, but you're different now."

It was said with perfect assurance, and Spike wondered what exactly Wesley had told her that would put that sort of trust in an otherwise wary child. "I am. I've also made it my business over the last few years to keep Slayers alive." Spike let his meaning sink in for a moment. "When I make a promise, I keep it, Hannah. You ask anybody, an' they'll tell you that. You ever need a good kill, or a place to go, or someone to watch your back, you let me know."

He understood. Spike understood living with a crazy person, and having to scrounge, and not fitting in. Maybe the others did too, or they had at one point in the distant past. Spike was still set apart by virtue of his being a vampire, just as Hannah was set apart because she was the Slayer.

Buffy would have known what Hannah found in that moment with Spike. It was the same reason she'd gone to him again and again after her resurrection. The strange fact was that the Slayer of Slayers understood what it meant to be the Slayer better than anyone.

For the first time since discovering what she was, Hannah felt completely at ease. Actually, it might have been the first time in her life.

"Okay." The word was spoken with quiet conviction, perfect understanding of what had just been offered, and simple acceptance.

When Hannah fell asleep just a little while later, her face relaxing, looking like the child she was, Spike watched her. Somewhere along the way, he'd managed to get himself a gig saving people, including Slayers. It was crazy, but it felt right.

Not for the first time did Spike wonder at the turn his life had taken. A soulless vampire shouldn't be enjoying a quiet moment watching a baby Slayer sleep, while waiting for a child to be born. It wasn't natural.

But it was real, and oddly enough, it was exactly what he wanted.

~~~~~

It was early morning when Enid finally came out into the waiting room. Her face was tired and drawn, and she looked every single one of her eighty-odd years. Wesley was on his feet immediately, offering her a seat, which she sank into thankfully. "Nika and the baby are fine," she said as she sat. "There was some concern, but it's past."

"Can I see them?" Wesley asked.

Enid nodded. "Nika is sleeping, but she would appreciate your presence, I'm sure. They wanted to keep the little one in NICU for a time to make sure there aren't complications."

Wesley didn't even spare a look for Angel or Buffy; he immediately headed for Nika's room. "I think that's our cue to leave," Buffy said wryly. "Would you like a ride home, Enid?"

The older woman hesitated before nodding. "I'm afraid I'm not as capable of staying up all night as I once was."

"Spike is with Hannah and the boys," Buffy replied. "We can get them to school today if you want to sleep."

"That sounds wonderful." Enid smiled wearily. "I think I shall sleep soundly knowing that everyone is in good hands."

Angel had remained silent through the exchange, knowing that he wasn't a part of their daily routine. "I should go. You'll tell Wes to call if he needs anything?"

Buffy smiled at him. "Yeah, I'll tell him, Angel. I know he appreciated you being here."

"It was the least I could do," Angel replied before leaving, disappearing back into the shadows the way he always did.

Buffy looked over at Enid. "Will you be okay?"

"Now? Yes." Enid sighed. "It was too close, though. My poor old heart isn't up to such shocks these days."

"I have a hard time believing that," Buffy replied quickly. "You're not that old."

Enid just shook her head. "Old enough. I'm old enough."

~~~~~

Nika awoke when she felt Wesley's hand on her brow, stroking back her hair. "Have you seen her yet?"

"For a moment," he replied. "The doctors are still hovering, but they aren't looking quite as worried. She's beautiful, love."

She closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad." A pained look crossed her face. "How long before I can see her?"

"It will be a while yet," Wesley replied. "A C-section is not an easy surgery."

"But Carwen's alright? There aren't more problems?"

"She's going to be fine," Wesley promised.

They had found out the sex only a few weeks before, and had picked a name. The baby wasn't due until January, and her early arrival had placed her in danger. Even now that it appeared that she would survive, the doctor had warned Wesley that it could be several weeks before Carwen was ready to come home.

It wasn't going to make for a very cheery holiday.

Wesley soothed his tired wife as best he could, knowing that she was aching to hold her daughter as much as he was. Nika would recover, though, and Carwen was demonstrating quite a bit of tenacity. If she was anything like her mother, she would do just fine.

Relief and worry filled his mind in equal measure, and so it was a long time before Wesley drifted off to sleep in the chair next to Nika's bed.

~~~~~

Spike was awake when Buffy arrived, sitting in a chair in the living room, watching over a sleeping Hannah. Enid went up to her small apartment over the garage immediately, and although Buffy could have tried talking to Spike, she decided to wait. He didn't seem interested in speaking with her anyway.

Instead, she called Dawn and gave her the news, then asked her to see Meg off to school. "And would you mind picking her up today?"

"Of course not," Dawn replied. "I'm guessing you and Spike didn't get much sleep."

Buffy laughed shortly. "Try none at all. We're going to take care of things here, though, so it'll be a few hours before we can get to bed."

"Connor and I will take care of her," Dawn promised. "Besides, since we're moving in a few months, I'd like to spend as much quality time with my niece as I can."

"Thanks, Dawnie," Buffy said gratefully. She didn't bother telling her sister that she had plans to do other things besides sleep, for which they really needed an empty house. Buffy had decided to take her daughter's advice and "kiss and make up."

The morning ritual with the Wyndam-Pryces was three times as chaotic, partly because there were three children to get ready rather than one. Partly because the boys were in an uproar over not being able to go to the hospital to see their parents and their sister.

Spike was the one to rein them in when they kept protesting that they'd never be able to concentrate, and couldn't they stay home, and they wanted to make sure their mum was alright. "That's bloody well enough!" he said, loudly enough to shut them up. "Are you calling your Aunt Buffy a liar?"

Will and Davey looked at each other. "No," they said in unison.

"Well, then, if she says your mum and Carwen are fine, then they are. Wesley said you're goin' to school today, so you'll go to school, and that's final."

They subsided after that with commendable meekness, and Hannah helped Buffy herd them into the car. The younger Slayer got dropped off first, and then the boys at school, before Buffy swung back by the house to pick Spike up.

The tint on the windows was dark enough to keep Spike safe, as long as he stayed under a blanket, and the attached garage ensured that he didn't get flambéed as he entered the house. Buffy wasn't all that surprised when he stayed quiet during the drive, or when he walked into the house without a word, heading straight to the kitchen.

She followed him, sitting down at the dining room table and watching as he prepared his blood. "You should catch some sleep," he said finally, after the microwave beeped at him.

"I'm not interested in sleep right now," Buffy replied.

Spike's features hardened. "Buffy—"

"No, I want you to let me speak." When he remained silent, she said, "I know you watched me die, Spike, so I'm pretty sure you have some idea of what went through my mind in Cleveland. The difference is that things were okay between us before we went up against Glory. As okay as it got back then, anyway. That's not the way it was a few months ago. I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at myself, because at that moment I didn't know whether you knew how much I loved you."

"Of course I do," Spike scoffed. "Don't be silly."

"Is it silly?" she challenged him. "Spike, I know I'm not always very good about expressing my feelings. I get impatient, and a lot of times I end up taking it out on you."

"Well, you do that when you're scared too, pet," Spike replied. "Buffy, I know all this. I just need you to ease up a bit."

"I'll try," she promised. "It's just—I never thought anything could happen to you."

Spike met her eyes. "You don't think I know that? I live with that every day, Slayer. One of these days, you're going—" He stopped, swallowing, unwilling to say it.

One day she would go where he could not follow. Heaven wasn't a place for demons.

"So life is short," she said, deliberately trying to lighten the tone. "Neither of us knows when something bad could happen. I say we enjoy what we've got right now. Meg said she thought we ought to kiss and make up. Maybe we could start there."

It had been a good while since their last tumble, Spike realized, and he had missed it. "I don't know, luv," Spike said, deliberately baiting her. "I haven't slept for a while, and I might not be up for it, still bein' so weak an' all."

Buffy lifted an eyebrow, appreciating his sally. "Oh, I've got something that will definitely get you going, mister. Besides, you keep telling me you're all better. Maybe you should prove it to me."

"Oh, I'll prove it to you, luv," he growled. "What about Meg and the others, though? I don't want us getting interrupted."

"Dawn's picking Meg up from school, and Enid's got the other kids this afternoon," Buffy replied, sliding her hand under his shirt. "They won't be expecting us anywhere for hours."

"And you're sure you don't want to sleep?" Spike teased.

Buffy shook her head. "Plenty of time to sleep tonight. Right now we have time and an empty house. And I want you now."

Kissing and making up was definitely the way to go.