"No.....no......if you wanna learn the song you must listen and stop bloody interrupting me! Got it?" Spike scolded Buffy as they exited Dust n' Bones, Spike's demon bar of choice. The Slayer had come a calling not too long after sunset, reasoning that Spike was the only one who'd get drunk with her and not ask any questions. He of course was interested in the truth behind her stories, but was content with just being around her, without the others in tow. When it was just the two of them there was no pretense or posing, just a vampire and the Slayer. She stuck her tongue out at him and scrunched her face.

"Don't start tellin' me what to do there Captain Peroxide!" She hiccuped, then sneezed, to which Spike painfully held in a massive guffaw. She was right royally drunk and hardly able to talk without slurring her words. He continually checked her over to make sure an emotional crack wasn't about to occur, keeping their evening fun was his prerogative. Since her resurrection, enjoying living had been a rarity for her. It was when she was off her rocker that the truth tended to come out and he was always around to be the only one to hear it. For him it was a unique privilege."What are you waitin' for?? The mood to be right....start your singsong, limey!"

"I'm no limey......Valley Girl." Her mouth gaped open like a gutted guppy in mock horror. She hauled off and flicked his forehead with Slayer force, which in her drunken state was wickedly strong. He stumbled back a good couple of feet,"I can't believe you just did that!"

"Believe it, Blondie....SING!"

"Bloody hell....right then from the top.....think you can remember the first bit?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...." He caught up with her and they continued walking, Buffy gripping to the leather of the sleeve of his well worn black duster. "It's Saturday night, I'm feeling on song...." they sang off key, but in unison,"I think I'm alright, I know I'm all wrong......."

"The drink that I had three hours ago," Spike belted out,"The next part's your's love..."

"Has been joined by fourteen others.....in a steady flow!!!" she roared enthusiastically into the night.

"Together now...." he instructed, Buffy gleamed (she knew the next part too....),"So let me walk straight, don't let me feel pain....I'm gonna scratch cars, with my keys again..." They stopped walking, and Buffy sighed and pursed out her lips in a serious pout."S'alright love....I'll sing the next part, then you sing it back, right? 'Cos when I go home and fall on my bed....If it doesn't leave my stomach, It'll split my head. Now you.....then we'll go o'er the first part again....three....two....one..."

"Cos when I go home and fall on my bed....If it doesn't leave my stomach, It'll split my head..." She took in a full breath and they hit their cue together.

"It's Saturday night, I'm feeling on song...I think I'm alright, I know I'm all wrong....The drink that I had three hours ago.....Has been joined by fourteen others....In a steady flow!!!" Buffy squealed and started jumping for joy over their successful execution of the ditty, to which caused her to trip over her own feet. Spike's strong arm was instantly around her waist, keeping her from splattering herself to the concrete,"Careful there, pet..." She ignored his concerned tone and proceeded to feign playing Superman, stretched her arms out in front of her and lifting her legs off the ground. Spike continued to walk on, Slayer in tow who by now was giggling like a Tickle-Me-Elmo on rave quality speed."If you wanted to fly, love....we could've tried something besides the alcohol."

"Okay.....feet need floor again," Buffy mused, returning to walking on her own,"Spike."

"Yeah?"

"Just Spike.....I never thought about how funny your name is to pronounce.....Spppp-ike."

"You and Stephen Hawking...solving the mysteries of the universe one amazing revelation at a time."

"Be nice Fang Face!"

"Say Saskatchewan." There was little more that Spike enjoyed more than the banter that arose between him and Buffy when she was sloshed, the girl was more fun to watch than Temptation Island."Go on, Chosen One....give it a whirl.....don't think you can manage it?"

"I can manage it juuuust fine, thank you very much, Blood Breath....."

"Then say it." With her little fists tight and her mind set, she formulated the word in her mind first before opening her mouth.

"Saskitchen....Siskat....urrrg.....Suskat-tew.....Sesketchup....." Spike held his laughter in until his sides ached and blood vessels burst in his brain, but finally he let out a riotous chortle,"You're mean! I can't believe you do this to me every time!"

"You can lead a Slayer to the whiskey, but you can't make her drink."

"Okay....I've got one fer you now...."

"Lay it on my baby!"

"You can't say bloody hell again until we get home..."

"Un-huh....fine, cupcake....but what's the challenge?"

"Smurf."

"Smurf?"

"You know...little blue people, all look alike and live in mushrooms......Papa Smurf and Smurfette are different though....keep getting chased around by Gargamel and Azrael the cat??"

"I'm vaguely aware...you can pronounciate Gargamel and Azrael and have excellent recall on insipid kids' shows from the 80s but you can't say Saskatchewan?"

"SHUT UP!! And replace bloody with smurf."

"Why?"

"'Cause I say so...Please? For me? If you keep it up, I'll reward you." Spike's interested was suddenly piqued. He arched an eyebrow suggestively and centered in on her, close enough to feel her body's heat.

"What kind of reward....Slayer?" She slipped her fingers over the buckle of his belt and pulled him against her.

"That's for me to know and you to earn." The sultry roughness of her voice was enough to make him puddle at her feet. She didn't make any motions to pull away or divert her eyes from his, which Spike took as a signal to try and press his luck. He hands snaked around her waist to travel down and cup her rear and grind her hips against his. The mounting tension between them, and the rising...was enough to slowly incite them to bring their lips close on each other.

"Buffy?" a voice came from behind them. Spike let go of his Slayer and whipped around to confront the moron who'd had the unmitigated gaul to interrupt his first unsolicited Slayer smooch. When he saw who it was, both Spike and Buffy stood un utter shock.

"Oh blo....argg....smurfin' hell!" Spike let out, embarrassing himself in front of the other party with the utterance,"If it isn't GI Joe, home from the wars...couldn't you have French kissed a grenade or something along the way?"

"Riley..." Buffy spoke noncommittally, still holding on to Spike's coat with one hand. He raised his arm, breaking her hold on him, but the contact was regained as he wrapped his arm possessively around her shoulders. The gesture ensured that she had both physical and emotional support from him. The gesture was also in lieu of, for lack of a more suitable term, going medieval on Riley's ass, microchip be damned.

"Buffy, I've been searching all over town for you.....I'm back....." Riley began, trying his best to ignore both Spike's presence and his apparent closeness with the Slayer,"Buffy.....I......"

"Are not going to be welcomed home 'ere," Spike finished for him,"So sod off!"

"Buffy.....I came back because.....I'd like us to talk...."

"Oh look, pet," Spike spoke to Buffy, but for Riley's benefit,"He think that if he ignores me I'll just go away.....no bl...smurfin' likely, eh love?"

"I think you're the one that needs to leave, Buffy and I have unfinished business."

"No, mate, it's finished, it was finished when you left."

"You're one smart ass remark away from getting staked!" Spike's natural inclination was to get into a row but something in him suddenly twinged in the back of his mind and it wasn't the chip. He looked between Riley and Buffy and decided discretion was the better part of valor.

"Slayer, let's go.....you don't need to deal with this loser...." He put his hands on her shoulders and subtly encouraged her to come with him. Up until then she had remained silent, her head swimming with both alcohol and a swelling miasma of conflicting emotions.

"Riley," she finally spoke up,"Why have you come?" Spike's hands dropped from her shoulders and he sighed and began to back away. Buffy quickly shot him a look and shook her head, asking without words for him to stay.

"Buffy, I know I don't have the right..."

"That's for sure," Spike muttered under his breath.

"But, Buffy I realize now that leaving you like I did was wrong.....it was cowardly...ever since I left, you're all I could think about.....dream about.....I love you, Buffy....can we have a second chance? I'll do everything I can...." Smurfin' hell was once again heard from Spike, along with a drawn out roll of his eyes, not to mention a huff of total and utter disbelief. Spike looked over to the Slayer, waiting for her reply. She looked stunned, as if unable to process all that Riley was confessing. She looked into her former boyfriend's pleading, soulful eyes, then over to Spike who made dismissive gesticulations - too tired and too liquored to put on a show. Buffy squinted her eyes at Spike, trying to convey some sort of message, but the intent was lost on him. The meaning finally dawned on him when Buffy looked back at Riley and burst out laughing, sending out an impressive spray of saliva along with it. A pleasant grin slowly creeped across Spike's face until he showed a row of white teeth that rivaled the entire Osmond family combined.

"BURN!!" Spike declared, laughing with Buffy at the dumbstruck Riley."That's my girl.....bloo...er....sorry.....smurfing brilliant!!" Buffy had tears in her eyes she was laughing so hard, Spike moved back over to her in order to make sure she didn't topple over. Riley examined Buffy closely, wondering why on God's Green Earth she was behaving so callously and furthermore why she was hanging around with Spike.

"Are you drunk?" Riley asked, adding up the evidence presented to him,"You're drunk aren't you?"

"Bah....tell him Slayer....you're not pissed off yer ass blotto are you? After a bottle of whiskey and nine beers....not our Buffy...surely not..." Spike offered.

"Hell no! I'm not pished......wow, my nail polish is sure pretty!" She suddenly became wildly fascinated with her own hands, floating and moving around in front of her.

"Are you stoned too?!" Riley exclaimed before turning his attentions back to Spike,"If I'd known Buffy would've gotten messed up like this.....with you....I never would have left....."

"You mean if you had the stones to handle a bird like the Slayer you wouldn't have left....shoulda stayed gone, soldier."

"You think I left because I didn't have the guts to love Buffy? I left because...."

"It's all bollocks.....you're a Ken Doll and when it turned out your Barbie had broken mold you couldn't deal."

"Listen up.....you poor man's Billy Idol.....Buffy was everything to me....."

"One hundred and forty seven....." Buffy spoke aloud, a few epiphanies sparking in her mind. Both men stopped talking, Riley confused and Spike resigned.

"You certainly ride the mood rollercoaster when you're tanked...that's right, pet....147..." Spike repeated for her.

"One hundred and forty seven what?" Riley asked, noting how sullen the two of them had become. Buffy looked up at Riley, a scowl shrouding her face.

"He stayed for 147 days.....and you just up and left me! I wasn't even alive and he still stayed!!"

"Buffy, you're not making any sense....let's go and get you a cup of coffee...." He reached for her and she slapped his hand away.

"You know something, you smurfin' poofter?" Spike did a double take at Buffy taking on his brand of slang,"You're all manly acting and stoic.....but you know who the real man around here is?"

"You're not going to say him are you? The peroxide poisoned klepto punk?!"

"Hey!" Spike spoke up,"I'm no klepto...."

"That's right, Riley....Spike...Spike who never lets me walk alone, even if it's just 'cause he's following me; he's my sister's best friend and her protector.......he keeps on keeping my friends and family safe even after I push him away and insult him; sure he steals stuff....but it's only stuff he needs and stuff people can replace easy; he's the only one that doesn't treat me like some kinda damaged, confused little girl just 'cause I was ripped outta Heaven and stuffed back into Hell.....and well, he buys me beer."

"You're still not making any sense, Buffy.....if I'd known you'd hit bottom like this, I never would have left you..."

"Balders!" Spike stepped in, replacing his arm around the Slayer's shoulders,"You came back thinkin' the lovely would throw herself at you're feet and thank you for coming back for her. Buffy doesn't need you, she never did......that must really frost your cookies huh? That she needs me."

"You've got to be kidding me!" Riley wailed,"This? This is really who you're choosing over me? You have changed Buffy....and, I don't think I like this new you....."

"Death tends to have that effect on a girl," said Buffy honestly.

"He's right, pet....you did change....but I still love you....love you more," Spike observed in earnest.

"Oh my God....." Riley blurted out,"SPIKE?!? I can't believe you're really with Spike! Buffy you're out of your mind!"

"I'll show you how out of my mind I really am!" With that Buffy grabbed Spike's face and crushed her lips to his in a fierce wet kiss, plunging her tongue into his mouth and just about liquefying his spine. He forgot about Riley in less than two seconds after Buffy started kissing him and concentrated on cleaning her tonsils. He dipped down and pulled her against him, creating an arousing friction between their bodies.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," Riley stated before turning around and walking away, dismayed and crestfallen,"Have a nice life Buffy.....I'd hoped for more for you...." Spike broke off the kiss, unwilling to let his last opportunity to irk the boy walk away.

"She'll get more....soon as I get 'er home....isn't that right, love?" Spike silently prayed that Buffy would play along, letting him come out of the confrontation as shiny as a golden Buddha. Buffy looked into his baby blue eyes and then over to Riley, who seemed to be waiting for her to have the final word.

"I always thought you had stupid hair!" Granted it wasn't a Pulitzer worthy or Mensa level insult, but it certainly did the trick and it made Spike very very proud of his Slayer.

***

One by one Buffy's senses started to chime in again. First was touch, her skin against something that was both soft and hard at the same time, but the surface was cool, not cold persay, just tepid, cool. Next to come into play was her sense of taste, her tongue and cheeks felt stale and used, not unlike the uncarriage of an oldsmobile, it was the flavor of stale booze. She opened her eyes and saw little in front of her besides what seemed to be a quilt. Last to come into play was her sense of smell, the scent was strong, a melding of cigarettes, leather and maleness....Spike. Her eyes widened in horror and she shot straight up like she'd been fired from a cannon. The action promptly made her dizzy and nauseous and then she was hit like the sledgehammer to concrete by her emerging hangover. Unable to control the overwhelming spinning in her head, she swooned and collapsed back on to the bed....and Spike.

He came around from a rather restful slumber with a languid stretch and a soft moan. He felt the full eight Buffy's body slumped over his and purred from the close contact they'd been having since they'd returned to his crypt."Buff.....rise and shine Slayer," he called out, giving her body a solid nudge.

"Ummmph?" she mumbled with her lips unceremoniously pressed against his stomach in the general region of his belly button.

"Buffy, love, it's almost noon."

"Huh?" Slowly she came around, the same sensations as the first waking assaulting her once more,"Oh god....what the hell did I drink last night?" She rolled off Spike and lay next to him on the bed.

"If memory serves...and I think it does....over the course of the six hours last night you consumed most of my last bottle of Irish whiskey before we even left the crypt......"

"Oh good lord....my head feels like it...."

"Heavens, pet....that's nothing - you proceeded to down pint after pint of dark Irish ale....I felt a theme coming on, so we took in some Bailey's...then we settled in lastly at Dust n' Bones...."

"Dust n' Bones??"

"Yeah....demon bar on Wabash Street......you said the decor was delightful....where you segwayed into Mexico....Kahlua and tequila. I do hope your liver is also in possession of Slayer's healing powers." Buffy nodded her heavy head in agreement, it was then, by a cool breeze swirling through the depths of the crypt that she noticed that she happened to be topless....and braless. Once again she shot up like a rocket, searching madly for something to cover herself with, eventually settling on once of the heavy tapestry like blankets he had on his bed.

"You just now clued in that....." Spike began, more than a little disappointed that she'd hidden herself from his appreciative eyes.

"Where are my clothes?!"

"Are you trying to tell me you don't remember? Last night? Us??" Spike's hurt expression on his face made Buffy suddenly feel extremely bad....but mostly because the possibility that she'd slept with Spike had popped into her mind.

"Oh no....oh no.....oh no.....I didn't....I couldn't...." She looked him over, lying under his covers....bare chest, rock hard muscled bare chest, exposed - lavacious gleam in his eye,"I can't believe....I never....." He gave up the ghost and flipped off the covers, revealing that he still wore a pair of black jeans.

"Calm down, pet.....we didn't....." She breathed a sigh of relief, but was still perplexed as to her present state of undress,"But that's not to say that you didn't want to....Slayer...but....well....uh....smurfin' hell - and it pains me to say this......I respect you....as a woman....so.....we just went to sleep....there I said it, let's never speak of it again." Buffy was taken aback by his admission. It was certainly no secret how Spike felt about her and even less of a secret that he wanted to get in his bed. The opportunity had evidently presented itself and last night he'd behaved as a gentleman. As much of a gentleman as Spike could be. He rose from the bed and over to the corner of the room, there he opened a heavy wooden chest and withdrew and slip of dark blue fabric. He came back over and handed it to her in an almost shy manner."Here...it's clean." Buffy accepted his offering and slipped her thin arms through the sleeves of the garment, quickly fastening the buttons.

"Thanks..."

"No worries, love...as for your clothes, if you don't remember what happened to them, then I think it's better you don't know - but your secret's safe. I'd offer breakfast, but the only thing in my fridge is a pitcher of pig's blood."

"Uh....I'll take a pass."

"Suit yourself. Guess you'll be heading out then, eh?" She nodded her head, when in truth all she wanted nothing more that to throw the covers over her head and go back to sleep for 20 hours.

"Spike?" Buffy had finally noticed a few items that were not the standard decor for the lair.

"Yeah love?"

"Why are there all these big orange traffic cones all over the crypt?"

"Caw...you're not much for the remembers when you drink are you, pet?" Feeling embarrassed, Buffy cast her eyes down and shook her head, Spike took a seat next to her and patted her on the back,"Every bloke, or in your case lass, knows that an all night bender can't be considered successful unless you wake up with traffic cones in your sleep place and have zero recollection of how you acquired them!"

"So you have a few gaps too?" He admitted as much with an expression,"I feel like and idiot. Great way to put fear in the minds and hearts of demons and vamps everywhere - get drunk off my ass in public and not remember a second of it."

"It wasn't as bad as you think.....it was mostly just the two of us."

"Oh! Oh! I do remember something....I remember smurf thing!"

"Oh.....fabulous...how long is it going to be smurfing hell for ol' Spike??"

"You can stop, I'm surprised you kept it up as long as you did."

"I had incentive.....do you remember that part?" Spike crooked his head a little to once side, trying to see what her blushing eyes were saying.

"I have a question.....and it might sound a little wierd...but, did I have a conversation with a tree - a big oak or something?" Spike's body stiffened, he knew exactly what her mind was telling her even if the picture was fuzzy. The last thing he wanted was for her to remember Riley had been back in Sunnydale. It wasn't that he thought she'd go and find him now that she had a clear head; it was the fact that she might find herself in pain over the overwrought memories and hidden animosity and he couldn't bear it.

"Yeah...it was a riot.....you were talking about how to take care of bark in the winter...." She held up her hands in protest.

"No, no....I don't want to know.....let's file that under forgotten. I'm gonna hit the road..." She made her way off the bed and towards the exit, but Spike stopped her with his arm across her chest.

"Wait..."

"Spike....come on...."

"No....just wait....wait right here." He went back to the chest and pulled out a book and handed it to a confused Buffy,"It's for Dawn....she said she had to read it for school and I promised I'd lend her my copy. Just, just make sure she doesn't spill a coke all over it....I know she wouldn't mean to, but you know, it's a first edition....lasted over a hundred years - wouldn't want it demolished by a teenager....like the rest of western civilization." Buffy turned the book over and read the title, Great Expectations.

"I will.....thanks, Spike...."

"Anytime....Slay.......anytime Buffy." She gave him a little smile, then climbed the ladder to the outside. Spike watched as she ascended, feeling quite uplifted - they hadn't fought, argued, nary a harsh word had even been uttered. Infact, it was a faily pleasant morning, not to mention the fact that Spike had the memory of how Buffy lost her shirt and bra to keep him company until dusk. Great expectations indeed.

As Buffy stepped out into the noon day sun she thought she heard something vaguely familiar coming from the crypt. Curiosity getting the better of her she made her way back over to the mouth of his crypt and eavesdropped, sure enough Spike was singing to himself. It wasn't the usual punk oriented fodder, something a little more melodic.

"......that I was finished.....Thought that I was complete......Thought that I was whole instead of being half of something.....Thought that I was growing, growing older.....Wiser, understanding why this world hold nothing for my spirit.....Thought that I was destined, destined to be nothing, destined.......To be nothing in this world and then.....I met you.......smurfin' hell....what's the next part???....oh yeah...Thought the book was written.....Thought the game had ended.......Thought the song was sung and I could never sing another......Thought my faith was misplaced....Thought my back was broken.....Broken by a weight that I was never fit to carry......Thought I knew this city, thought I knew all about it..... And then one night I came to Sunnydale and you were waiting....Then I met you......I met you..."

***

Saturday rolled around a week later and Buffy found herself making her way once again to Spike's. The sun was balancing on the horizon, ready to fall into oblivion and let night blanket the skies. She'd spent the better part of the week contemplating the melee inside her mind. When she was around Spike she felt alive, uninhibited, when she was with him she had fun and it excited her. Not to mention the fact that he excited her, more and more every time they were around each other. It wasn't love....yet...but he was the only thing in all her life that truly challenged her, made her look forward to another day....if only because he made things interesting. Despite all her reasoning she was vaguely aware that something else was compelling her towards him, the question of what if? What if she just threw caution to the wind? More like into a hurricane.

"Spike? You there?" her voice echoed in the crypt. When he didn't respond to her calls, Buffy felt a twinge of worry.....Spike always answered when she called. After a nervous descent into the inner crypt, to her relief, she found him safe and sound in his bed. Se watched him for a time, the perfect stillness only a supernatural creature could possess when it slumbered. He did appear as death, pale and stonelike, as if a perfect male beauty had caught the eye of Medusa. He was nude, save the the slip of a sheet that covered the more dangerous aspects of him - and she wasn't thinking of his fangs. Now however wasn't the time to cower away or run scared - now was the time to go after what she wanted from life, now that she had the reluctant second chance. She slipped her jacket off and let it fall to the floor, revealing a mere shimmer of a gossamer thin blouse. He'd left a lamp on, how it was even getting electricity was beyond her, but it would suit her purposes for lighting the mood just fine.

Summoning every ounce of her courage she came to the bedside,"You'd sleep through an Apocalypse, wouldn't you?" she whispered before easing herself down to sit next to him,"Spike?" Still nothing, he was as deep as a six feet under. Buffy sighed and smiled her to herself. She stretched herself over him and held her face inches from his before pressing their lips together for a searing kiss that would have burned his soul into cinders....if he had a soul, which he didn't, therefore the effect was something along the lines of making him painfully hard......no better way to be wakened, he wagered. Her tongue twined with his, curling and drawing it into her mouth. The taste was one faintly of alcohol, reminding her of the previous Saturday they'd spent together. She had different ideas for that they'd be doing for the next six hours and it had nothing to do with drink. She abruptly broke off their kiss, breaths coming in heavy aroused pants. For Spike's part, he was utterly speechless, nothing so surprising had ever happened to him in his entire unlife....save for the time when he'd wakened from a dream of her and realized he was in love with her.

"Buffy???" he gasped, searching for any sort of explanation for her bold behavior. She smiled and laughed, letting her full weight spread over him.

"Shut up Spike......shut up and smurf me!"