London Underground

Season 8, episode 10

Disclaimer: I own nothing

“Morning,” Xander said sleepily as he padded into the kitchen.

“Holy mother of-“ Dawn exclaimed, snatching the pan off the stove and thrusting it into the sink.

“Isn’t it’s a little early for blasphemy?” Xander asked.

“It’s never too early for blasphemy.”

“Add schnapps and you’ve got Uncle Rory’s motto,” Xander said and took a seat at the table.

“Speaking of alcoholics,” Dawn said, turning her attention away from the debacle in the sink. “How weird is it that Spike’s alive?”

“Forget the miracle of resurrection – that’s old hat. How weird is it that he’s working for Angel?” Xander replied.

Dawn nodded and looked down. “I wonder if he and Buffy…” she said hesitantly.

“God I hope not. I mean – nice that he died to save the world but I don’t see those two brining each other anything but pain.”

“Yeah. And, speaking of pain – Breakfast will be a while longer.”

“I noticed. Pancakes a Go Go?”

“I’ll just get my coat.”

She tried not to show it, but truth was, Faith didn’t like the girls. It wasn’t that they were spazy, though they were. And it wasn’t that she felt threatened by so many people who stood a chance of taking her, though she kinda did. It was the way they looked at her.

If any of them still blamed her for the explosion it didn’t show. All that showed on their faces was respect .When she said do something, they did it. And after training they always asked for stories. Problem was, she didn’t know the ‘right’ way to do anything, and she’d long since exhausted the stories that didn’t end with her murdering someone.

Still, they looked at her like – like she was Buffy. But she wasn’t Buffy and she didn’t particularly want to be Buffy.

Which I why when she woke up and found that Xander, Dawn, Giles, Fred and Willow had already gone to breakfast without a thought of inviting her, it was almost a relief. At least some people still treated her like Faith. Although, as she glanced over at the knife she kept by her beside table, the knife that the major had given her, she wasn’t exactly thrilled to be Faith either.

Willow watched Giles from the doorway for a few moments. He was sitting in the library, books stacked high around him as he had so many times before. The scene was utterly familiar but Giles was completely changed. He didn’t look like Giles anymore. He looked like a man who’d murdered a child.

‘So this is what it was like,’ she thought. ‘When he found out about the whole ‘flaying thing.’’ He looked at her with the same revulsion and pity that she was feeling, but he didn’t look away. She owed it to him to be forgiving. This was her chance to repay him. So she took a deep breath, forced a smile, and walked into the library.

“How’s the books?” she asked in a hyper cheerful voice.

Giles looked up guiltily, though he wasn’t sure why. “Um, they’re fine, though not very useful.”

“Cemtaur?”

“Yes. So far his history is even vaguer than Glory’s - and more bizarre. Why make threats out of iridescent blood?”

“For the wackiness?” Willow offered, pleased at how normal she sounded.

“Would that it were.”

“Wackiness?” Fred asked as she entered. “Are we making hats?”

Willow and Giles both turned to look at her.

“Wacky hats,” Fred clarified.

“Of course,” Giles replied. “No.”

“Ok,” Fred said and took a book off the top of one of the stacks.

“Need any physics equations?”

“Not as such,” Giles replied, “What we need is new intel.”

“Goody. Undercover work,” Willow said. “I can glamour us up some disguises and we can hit the demon haunts.”

“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea,” Giles replied. “Better wait till Buffy gets back.”

“That could be weeks,” Willow protested. “Come on, we can handle a little investigation. Oh! You can track down some of your friends from your orgy days.”

Fred’s head jerked up. “You had orgy days?”

Giles began to protest but Fred hurried to add, “I mean, I’m sure it’ll be fine. Willow will protect us.”

Willow turned to Fred and smiled. She wasn’t so sure she liked the idea of holding their lives in her hands, but something about Fred’s open belief was so touching. It was strange, the same talk from Kennedy had made her feel like she’d just sung in front of Simon, but Fred made her feel a mile high.

“Of course I’ll protect you,” she finally said. “Come on Giles, if we run into trouble we’ll call Faith.”

Giles considered for a moment before replying, “Fine, I’ll see who I can find.”

Meanwhile, Dawn and Xander were enjoying their favorite breakfast spot.

“Didja bring the cell phone?” Dawn asked between bites of waffle.

Xander fished it out of his pocket and set it on the table. “I’m sure things are going fine though.”

“Yeah, just a little war. Nothing Buffy can’t handle without us.”

“Hey kids,” Faith said as she slid into the booth next to Dawn. “Saw the disaster in the kitchen. Figured you’d be here.”

“Yeah, sorry we didn’t invite you,” Xander said. “We didn’t know you were in.”

Faith shrugged in response, “Whatever. Hey,” she called out. “Can I get some huevos rancheros?”

“So where were you last night??” Dawn asked.

“A club near Covent garden. Shoulda been. They had this room full of bubbles and everyone was floating around-“

“They had an anti-gravity chamber?” Xander asked.

“No, I was on XTC.”

Xander and Dawn exchanged a worried look.

“Save the after school special. I was speaking metaphorically Mr. SAT. Anyway, it was awesome. You should check it out.”

“Dawn can’t go clubbing,” Xander said.

“Sure she can. Sis is away the mice will play. I’ll get you in,” Faith said.

“Faith-,” Xander began.

“What? God you’re worse than Buffy. You’re always locked up in the library, studying the night away. You used to be cool. You used to have fun.”

“I used to be cool?” Xander asked, incredulous. “I mean – I have fun.”

“Please. You haven’t been out once since we got here and I’m getting a little tired of being everyone’s activities coordinator.”

“Well, I don’t need you to tell me how to have fun. I’ll have you know I’m going out tonight,” Xander said, fishing a flyer out of his pocket. “To a rave in Islington.”

Faith’s eyebrows shot up. “And who’re you bringing for protection?”

“No one. I’m perfectly capable of going to a party by myself. Now if you don’t mind I’m going to go pay the bill,” he said and slid out of the booth.

“Why did you goad him into that?” Dawn hissed after he’d left.

“What? Guy need to get out – enjoy life.”

“Every woman he dates turns out to be a demon.” Dawn said. “This is a disaster waiting to happen.

“Tell ya what – I’ll make sure he takes his cell phone and I’ll stay at the house tonight just in case alright?”

“Fine but if he gets killed-“

“Buffy’ll kill me.”

“Buffy’ll be the least of your worries.”

Xander didn’t have much in the way of party clothes. He didn’t really have much in the way of clothes. Which is why he found himself walking from tragically hip to disastrously silly store trying to work up the nerve to enter.

He was certain that as soon as he walked in the clerks and all the patrons would recognize him for the loser he was and stop everything they were doing to mock him. Maybe not out loud, but he knew they’d be thinking it.

But more frightening than the mockery of the patrons was the mockery of his fellow ravers when he showed up in baggy jeans and flannel.

“Hello, can I help you? A Goth but nice looking girl inquired as Xander entered Hot Topic.

“Um yeah, I’m looking for clothes.”

The girl looked around at the racks of t-shirts. “Could you narrow that down?”

“Clothes someone might wear to a party or a rave or something-“ Xander mumbled.

The girl smiled, “I see. Don’t worry, I’ll have you looking, young and hip in no time.”

Fifteen minutes later Xander walked out of the dressing room wearing leather pants, a black mesh sleeveless top and a studded leather chocker. To complete the look he had his hair spiked up with blue glitter. Parvati had gathered the other clerks to watch. They burst into applause upon seeing him.

“He’s totally transformed,” one said.

“The blue gel is perfect for him,” another agreed.

Parvati graciously accepted the complements.

Xander felt a little awkward. The top was a tad – revealing. But everyone else seemed to think he looked great so he grinned and pulled out his credit card.

Back home the response to his new look was not as effusive.

Dawn stifled her laughter while Faith free associated cat calls.

“Enough,” Xander finally yelled. “I happen to think I look nice in this outfit.”

“’I look nice in this outfit?’ Honey, we don’t say ‘outfit’ and you’re not going for nice,” Faith replied.

“You’re wearing eye liner,” Dawn said.

“Manly eyeliner,” Xander said. “Spike used to wear eye liner.”

“Yeah, you’d make a cute couple,” Faith said with a glint in her eye.

“I’m leaving,” Xander said, not a little hurt.

“Wait, I think you look cool,” Dawn called after him.

“Whatever.”

On the outside it had looked like your average herbalists’ shop, inside it looked like a dingier version of the Magic Box. It was only when they reached the lower floor that Willow and Fred understood why Giles had brought them there. The basement must have spanned the entire block. Franklin, the store proprietor, had acquired a massive collection of occult books and some herbs that Willow had coveted since high school.

“Wow,” she said breathlessly as she turned around to admire the walls.

Franklin watched her face light up and smiled. “I see you’ve got the magic bug.”

“She’s got the whole colony,” Fred agreed.

“Can I interest you-“

“No,” Giles said simply.

“I was speaking to the lady.”

“And I am speaking to you. She’s not interested in anything of yours.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Strictly for information.”

“I assume you’re prepared to pay.”

Giles nodded. “We have money.”

“You know money means nothing to me,” Franklin replied and raked his eyes over Willow.

Giles’ back bristled and he was overcome by the urge to strike Franklin right there in front of the girls. But instead he decided to give Willow the benefit of the doubt.

“Go ahead and try,” Giles said calmly. “I’d love to see what she’d do to you.”

Willow raised her hand and said, “Um, what exactly are we talking about?”

Giles turned to her. “You remember Rack.”

Willow’s eyes went cold and she turned to look at Franklin. “Oh.”

Franklin smiled back. “No harm in askin’, right? It’s not like you wouldn’t enjoy it.”

“Do you have information or not?” Willow replied in a tone that said, ‘I am more powerful than you can imagine – Do not fuck with me.’

Between not knowing London too well and the great lengths the organizers had gone to in avoiding the police, it took Xander two hours to find the place. The party spread three floors of an old warehouse on the outskirts of a run down industrial park.

For a moment Xander felt at home, or rather at Bronze, but close enough. Then three girls wearing fairy wings fluttered by and realized that he wasn’t in Kansas anymore. He wanted to flee, find a nice coffee shop, call Buffy. Call Buffy. That sounded like and excellent plan. As he was turning to go he caught sight of a girl about ten feet away smiling at someone behind him. She was beautiful either because of, or in spite of, her electric red hair, he couldn’t quite decide. Xander turned to look over his shoulder but there wasn’t anyone smiling back at her.

When he turned to look at her again she was walking toward him.

“Hey, nice ass,” she said.

“I’m sorry did you-?” his question was cut off by her hand reaching around to squeeze one cheek.

“Wanna dance?”

Xander tried to say yes but all that came out was, “Dance.”

“Yeah, with me?”

“Yes, please,” he answered.

She smiled and pulled him onto the dance floor.

“What’s your name?” he asked as she draped her arms across his shoulders and intertwined their legs.

“Carmen.”

“Xander.”

“Xander, that’s cute. I like it. Wanna touch me Xander?” She grabbed his hands and placed them on the small of her back.

“Uhh, ok,” was all Xander could manage in response.

Their bodies thoroughly interlocked, Carmen began to gyrate to the beat, taking Xander along with her.

He tried to keep up but she was riding his leg and pressing her breasts into his chest and all he could think was, ‘Ah. Girl. Hmm. Soft.”

Suddenly she lowered her hand and flicked his nipple. ‘Hugh,’ he thought.

Before he had time to recover she rose up on the balls of her feet and nibbled his ear lobe. “Wanna find someplace more quiet?”

“Nugh pleade,” Xander whispered.

Someplace quieter turned out to be a woman’s bathroom tucked away on the first floor. Xander began to have second thoughts as Carmen pushed him into an empty stall. He’d never really been one for casual sex, except that one time with Faith, and well the first time with Anya hadn’t exactly involved candles and promises of eternal devotion. Still, he didn’t really think of himself as bathroom stall sex material.

Which is why he was almost relieved when Carmen followed him into the stall, stabbed a needle into his arm, and faded into a blurry outline before he passed out completely.

“Faith, go look for Xander,” Dawn demanded.

“Dawn, go bite me.”

“That makes no sense. You’re here. Why would I go to-“

“Just go then,” Faith replied without looking up from her comic book.

“I think he’s in trouble.”

“Are you psychic?”

“No.”

“Well then.”

“It’s late.”

Faith looked at her watch. “It’s midnight. When he’s not back at three, I’ll worry.”

“Fine, I’ll go,” Dawn said and turned t leave.

Faith had a sudden flash of trying to explain to Buffy how both Xander and Dawn got killed on her watch.

“Fine, I’ll go. But if he’s ok you’re taking over my breakfast duty for a month.”

“Deal.”

Faith didn’t have to change her clothes, nor did she need to wait in line. She found the place, walked right up to the bouncer, smiled, and was let in.

She walked in and scanned a room full of leather clad men with spiky hair. “He couldn’t have rebelled in a more original way?” she muttered as she entered the dance floor.

She strode purposefully through the crowd, ignoring the lust filled stares. Despite her obvious lack of interest, one guy kept following her. “Come on, just one dance,” he pleaded.

Faith looked at the guy. He might have been cute under all the makeup, but it was hard to say.

“I’m looking for my boyfriend,” she answered.

“I can share.”

“He can’t.”

Faith continued her walk through the club. She was getting more agitated by the second. She was supposed to walk in, find Xander drooling over some chick half his age and leave. But instead she found herself sweeping the floor again and double timing it up to the next story.

As she rushed up the stairs, Carmen began walking down. Faith had almost walked right past her when she noticed the blue glitter on her finger tips.

She grabbed Carmen’s arm and said, “Hey, wanna dance?”

Carmen smiled, “Sure.”

They walked back to the main floor and began to dance. The people around them moved back to watch.

Legs intertwined, hands sliding up bare torsos and grazing each other’s breasts, Carmen and Faith were close enough to kiss. Their heads moved closer then back away, again and again, until Carmen darted forward and captured Faith’s lips. Their movements slowed as both concentrated on soft lips and warm tongues.

Finally Carmen pulled away.

“Wanna go someplace more quiet?”

“But not more private?”

“Not too private,” Carmen replied with a wide grin.

‘Kinky, hot, good kisser,’ Faith thought as she followed Carmen to the ladies room. ‘It’ll be a shame to have to kill her.’

Faith readied herself as she stepped into the stall. Trap door? Toilet demon?

She caught Carmen bringing out the syringe and in an instant had her twisted around and pressed up against the stall door.

“What’s this?” Faith asked, holding up the syringe.

“Nothing.”

“Well that’s clearly not true,” Faith replied and tightened her grip.

“I’m sorry. I thought you’d be into it.”

“Into what? Is it a drug?”

“Yes.”

Faith released Carmen’s arms and let her turn around.

“Did you give this to a guy named Xander?”

“Maybe.”

“Where is he?”

“I don’t know.”

“Cut the crap or I will unleash a force so powerful, you’ll wish you were never born.”

Carmen laughed a little. “Ooh, what are you going to do?”

It was a pretty good question. The girl was messed up, but no demon. For a moment Faith envisioned beating her up, her helpless cries for mercy, the way her flesh would give under her punches. She put an arm out to steady herself against the wall.

“Never mind. Just take me to him.”

“Fine, but remember, you asked,” Carmen said and pressed three tiles on the wall. The back of the stall suddenly opened and the toilet pulled away to reveal another bathroom.

“This another dimension?” Faith asked.

“Dimension? You’ve been playing too much D and D honey,” Carmen replied as they passed through the other bathroom and into another party.

Carmen and Faith came out on the third floor of a warehouse similar to the one they left.

“Welcome to the real party,” Carmen said.

Faith surveyed the room in awe. The lights hung suspended in air and the walls were covered in holograms that shifted into different scenes as she looked around.

“Wow.”

“Wild huh?”

“Who did this?”

Carmen shrugged and led Faith off the balcony. As they stepped out stairs appeared under their feet.

“But you understand that there’s some magical force at work here right?” Faith asked.

Carmen shrugged again.

“Ok, in your dye fried head how do these stairs appear here?”

“Mirrors?” Carmen offered.

Faith wanted to question her further, maybe slap her, but something caught her attention.

Xander.

Xander dancing.

Xander dancing shirtless on a pedestal while girls reached up at him from below.

As she continued down the stairs her first thought was, ‘Oh for a camera.’ But that was quickly superceded by ‘That man can move.’

But instead of either of these things she said, “Xander Harris get down off that pedestal this instant.”

Xander gave no evidence of having heard her.

Faith fought her way to the front of the gaggle and gave the pedestal a good shove, sending Xander toppling into her arms.

Xander blinked up at her, “Faith?”

“Yes, what the hell are you doing?” Faith said as she tipped him up.

Behind them the girls were protesting the loss of their entertainment.

“I’m dancing,” Xander exclaimed and leaned in to whisper, “They love me here.”

“Yes because they’re high. And as entertaining as this whole thing is – it’s time to go home now.”

“No,” Xander said, pulling back from her. “I’m having fun.”

“Yes, and again, the being high is a factor here.”

“Am I on drugs?” Xander asked.

“Yes,” Faith said patiently.

“I like drugs.”

“Great. Hey, there’s lots of drugs at home,” Faith said as if tempting a small child with candy.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Wanna go home?”

As Xander pondered the idea, Faith realized she was going to have to sweeten the deal. “You can do your sexy dance at home.”

“But my groupies,” Xander said, gesturing forlornly back at the girls.

“I could be your groupie,” Faith said and arched her back for emphasis.

Xander smiled goofily. “Ok.”

“Right,” Faith replied and pulled him back toward the stairs.

They were making their way up when Faith caught Carmen’s electric red hair out of the corner of her eye. She turned around in time to see Carmen getting smacked by a huge guy who looked like Thug 1 in a mobster movie.

Faith paused on her mid air step.

“What?” Xander asked, looking around. “Time to dance?” He was about to start bobbing to the beat but Faith grabbed his arm to quiet him.

“No, time to fight.”

“Oh, I’m not so good at that,” he said. “Unless the drugs gave me super powers. Hey – do you think the drugs gave me super powers?”

“No,” Faith replied and led him back to the main floor.

“How do we know if we don’t try?” Xander asked. “Come on, hit me.”

Thug 1 was raising his hand to strike Carmen again when Faith shot out her arm to stop him.

“Hey, wanna die?” she asked conversationally.

“What?”

“Touch her again and I’ll kill you, ok? Come on Carm,” Faith said and pulled Carmen away.

Thug ducked in front of them. “And what if I touch you?” he asked.

“Let’s not find out,” Faith said. “Right now – everything’s cool. Let’s just leave it, alright?”

Something in her tone and the way she carried herself made Thug a little wary, a feeling that generally pissed him off. Still, he backed down. “Fine, but don’t show your face here again- either of you.”

Faith nodded and watched in horror as Xander came up behind Thug, tapped him on the shoulder, waited for him to turn around, and clocked him.

Xander looked so pleased with himself she didn’t have the heart to berate him. So she just pushed Carmen and Xander ahead of her up the stairs.

Halfway up she halted at the sight of thugs 2 thru 4 blocking the bathroom. Below Thug1 had summoned reinforcements. “We can’t let them catch us,” Carmen said looking around wildly.

“Yeah, got that,” Faith said and charged up the remaining stairs.

They were almost at the third floor landing when the stairs fell out from under them. Faith twisted to position herself beneath Xander and Carmen as best she could and looked up at the astrological signs acting out their myths against the ceiling before blacking out.

“Of course, if you want information fast, you could use the orb,” Franklin said with a twinkle in his eye.

“No,” Giles replied firmly.

Willow couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with curiosity. “What’s the orb?” she said, almost in a whisper, not wanting to upset Giles, not wanting seem untrustworthy. She remembered her lessons. Respect for power – check.

“Danger,” Giles replied.

Thanks to the slayer aptitude for taking a licking Faith was the first to come to. She started to look around, but she didn’t have much time to acquaint herself with her newest prison before Xander started to groan on the other side of the room.

“Sobering up are we?”

“Oh my God,” Xander said covering his horror struck face. “Was there dancing?”

“You didn’t so much dance as tease,” Faith said and went to inspect the bars.

“Tease?”

“As in strip.”

“Not again,” Xander moaned.

“Again?” she said, taking her attention off the bars long enough to look back at him.

“I mean, not for the first and only time.”

“Nice save.”

“What did I have?”

“Some sort of mystical meth.”

Xander looked around the room for the first time. “Where are we?”

“The Hilton.”

“Huh, I’d expect less prison and more plush.”

“I’ll ask for more pillows when the maid comes around.”

“Is this my fault?”

Faith looked back over her shoulder at his guilty face. “No, I pissed off the wrong guys. Sorry.”

“Hey, no problem,” Xander replied. “Who’s the girl with the freaky hair?”

“She’s the one who drugged you.”

“Can I kick her?”

Faith shrugged. “Have a ball.”

Xander got up and walked over to where she was still sleeping, curled up like a child, but he couldn’t hurt her. “Why don’t girls like me? They like to drug and kidnap me sure, but I’d prefer it if they liked to date me.”

“Anya liked you.”

“Not once she got to know me.”

“Ok, Mr Sunshine. Time to be useful,” Faith said. “Let’s talk construction.”

Xander looked around the cell. “The bars are our best bet. Try pulling here at this joint. It’ll be the weakest point.”

Faith was about to start on the bars when Carmen began to stir.

“Mommy,” Carmen said quietly as she unfurled.

“Mommy’s not here,” Faith said and walked over to her. “What the hell did you drag us into?”

Carmen squinted and rolled over to face the wall. “Go away.”

Faith grabbed her shoulder and rolled her back.

“Why did that guy hit you?”

Carmen rubbed her eyes and raised herself up onto her elbows.

“We’re not supposed to bring people here sober,” she replied.

“But you are supposed to bring people here?” Xander asked.

“Sure, it’s a party.”

“A party thrown by a witch that you have to be drugged to see?

Carmen nodded in agreement and turned back to the wall. “Cept for the witch part,” she muttered.

Faith looked over at Xander “Do you remember anything else?”

“I think someone stuck a twenty on my pants.”

“Anything magical?”

“Hey, don’t underestimate the joy of sexual exploitation.”

“Xander.”

“Nothing. I remember dancing and the belief that I was some sort of sex god and nothing else. Maybe the party’s just to push drugs?”

“No, the drugs are to push something else, I’m sure of it.”

“But they let the people go. Right? Carmen, you aren’t being held here are you?”

Carmen rolled back to face them, considerably more awake this time. “Nah, I got a place and a job. I think. No, I’m sure. Begins with a ‘g,’ maybe a ‘p’.”

“You can’t hide,” Franklin said, leaning in so close that Willow could smell his acrid breath. “I know you. I know that curiosity, that thirst for control.”

Willow looked across the room to where Fred and Giles were engrossed in some old texts. She turned her eyes up slowly. “You know nothing,” she replied.

“Of course I do dearest. I know you because I am you.”

Willow knew she should turn away, avoid the temptation altogether, but she had to ask. “Why doesn’t Giles want me to use the orb? What will I see?”

“The mind of whom ever you wish. Cemtaur – if you like.”

“And the dangerous part?”

“It takes a lot of concentration, or rather a complete lack of concentration. You have to subsume yourself and be in his mind or he’ll sense you, and he’ll kill you.”

Willow wasn’t impressed. She had concentration –loads of concentration. And it wasn’t like the orb gave her the power to melt things with her eyes. Giles was overreacting. “I want to try the orb,” she announced loudly.

Giles turned around slowly. “Willow, this isn’t something you try. You fail and you will die, to say nothing of the damage that exposure to his mind could do to yours,” Giles replied.

“Thank you for your input,” Willow replied. “I’m doing this.

“Does she look different to you?” Xander whispered.

Faith stopped pulling at the bars and glanced over at Carmen. “I don’t know, a little pale.”

Carmen looked down at her hands and began to shake. She managed to get up and stumble to the bars. “Hey, let me out,” she shouted. “I need-“she glanced back at Xander and Faith. “I need out.”

“Wow, that girl needs detox in the worst way,” Faith muttered.

The guard walked up to Carmen and looked at her with pity. “You should have thought of that before you brought her here,” he said, glancing at Faith.

“I’m sorry, ok? What do you want?”

“It’s not up to me.” The guard shrugged and turned away. As he walked down the hallway Carmen started throwing herself against the bars. “Let me out,” she screamed.

“Ok, that’s enough of that,” Faith said, grabbing her and pulling back from the bars.

“We’re gonna die,” Carmen muttered. “You know too much.”

“We know jack,” Faith said tossing her on the floor. “Now start explaining.”

Carmen gave no sign of even having heard her. She just rocked back and forth on the floor and cried. “I didn’t want this. I didn’t mean for this to happen,” she muttered over and over.

Xander went over to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “It’s alright,” he murmured.

Above them Faith looked on. She wanted to be Carmen. She wanted to be the girl who cried and was comforted, not the girl everyone expected to save them.

She gave them a few moments, then glared down at Xander.

“Alright, alright,” he mumbled. “Hey, Carmen? What do we supposedly know too much about?”

Carmen choked back her sobs and replied, “Us. What we are.”

“And that would be?” Faith asked.

Carmen shook her head in reply.

“Look, we’re screwed anyway. I’d at least like to know what we’re up against.

“Chameleons. We’re chameleons.”

“Like the lizard?” Xander asked.

Carmen nodded.

Xander looked up at Faith. “Am I still high?”

“No, but I think she is.” Faith knelt next to Xander and Carmen and said, “Sweetie you’re not a lizard,” in the most patronizing voice possible.

“No,” Carmen said in an equality patronizing tone. “We’re human chameleons. We take on the characteristics of the people around us.”

“So why don’t you look like us?” Xander said.

“With prolonged exposure I would, but mainly it’s characteristics, not features. And we can’t do it unless you have a combination of our hormones in your system.”

“The drugs,” Faith said.

“Right. They tried to engineer them so that they don’t make people act weird, but they can’t.”

“So you have to use the party as a cover for all the strange behavior you cause,” Xander said.

“And the people?” Faith asked. “What happens to the people you drug?”

Carmen shrugged. “They have a good time. At some point we lead them back to the fake party, they go home, go to sleep and all they remember is that they had a good time.”

Faith thought back to Carmen’s freak out. “What happens if you don’t have someone to mimic?”

Carmen looked down and said quietly, “We die.”

“Don’t worry,” Xander said, hugging her close, “We’ll get you out of here.”

Faith turned and put all her strength into pulling the bars apart.

In the orb Cemtaur sat back in his throne and watched the wall of the cave. Willow honed in on his thoughts and experiences and found her sight had magnified 100 times. There were ten or twelve ants milling about, living their little bug lives. As she watched a few began to shudder and turn over, throwing their spamming legs into the air.

“How interesting,” she thought. “The way they react to pain – fascinating.”

Gradually the shuddering stopped and the bugs lay lifeless in the crevasse. “Convenient – no Bug Be Gone – just dead.”

Before she could stop them, her own thoughts intruded. “I wonder – what did they feel?” Instantly the scene backed up to the beginning. This time she experienced it from the perspective of the bugs.

Giles and Fred watched anxiously as Willow began to twitch.

“We have to help her. He’s killing her,” Fred said. She reached out to grab Willow but Franklin held her back. “No,” he said, slightly bewildered. “She’s not in his mind.”

After a few seconds the convulsions subsided and Willow looked around at the dingy room, momentarily confused by the unfamiliar sensation of seeing through her own eyes.

“Are you ok?” Fred asked. “Willow turned to her and replied, “No, no, I’m not.” She stumbled up the stairs and rushed out of the shop. Outside she leaned over and threw up on the sidewalk.

Fred was only a few steps behind her. “What happened? What did you see?”

“Me. I saw me. I’m- I’m a monster,” Willow stuttered, looking around wildly.

Once they’d crawled through the bars and knocked out the guard, Xander, Faith and Carmen took off down a long corridor. Faith took the lead, ready to take on anyone who tried to get in their way. From the front at least.

She was entirely unprepared for the man who came up behind them, gun in hand. As soon as she heard his footsteps she whirled around and tried to push Xander aside, but Xander pushed both she and Carmen away and stood in front of the bullet. His legs buckled and he fell, almost gently, to his knees. Faith didn’t pause to see if he was ok, she just charged the man, grabbed the gun and slammed the butt into his head, knocking him out cold.

“Oh God, of mother-“ Xander muttered as he looked down at his shoulder.

Carmen went to check on him, but Faith pushed her aside and crouched down next to Xander.

“Let me see – oh, oh God, ok,” Faith said as she peered at the gushing shoulder wound. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“Um – thank you?”

“Thank you, dear bullet, for the pain?” Faith asked.

“No you thank me,” Xander said, every syllable a concerted effort.

“Why? That was idiotic. I can take a bullet – you not so much.”

Xander shrugged and winced from the pain. “Instinct. Besides, if you’re out we’re both screwed,” he said through gritted teeth.

Faith shifted back onto her heels and gazed at Xander. She was having trouble processing any part of what he was saying. He leapt in front of a bullet for her? Change her to Buffy and it all made sense. Or change Xander to Angel and things came together nicely. But Xander wasn’t invulnerable and she wasn’t the kind of person who inspired devotion.

After a long while she realized Xander was shouting something. “Go! Get out of here!”

Faith shook her head. “No,” she said simply and pulled him up.

They started down the hallway toward a large door but their movement was hampered by Xander’s stumbling and in her mimic deprived state, Carmen wasn’t much help either.

Faith didn’t think she’d ever felt more overwhelmed, then, at the end of the hallway, Thug 1 slowly stepped out in front of the door and she brightened considerably. If this was all they had to get past they were as good as free.

“Oh God, oh no, no,” Carmen whispered.

“’Salright,” Faith said and set Xander down. She walked toward the man. “Give it up,” she said when she’d gotten within striking distance. “You have no idea what you’re up against.”

“No,” he answered. “But I will.”

Before Faith could react he whipped his hand out and shot a dart at her thigh.

“Ow,” Faith said, more irritated than pained. “Oh a pin prick I’m-“ she said, bravado fading as she realized what he’d done.

He grinned widely and began to stand a little taller. “Amazing,” he whispered.

Faith took the opportunity to dart forward and slam into his face with a right hook. A normal man would have been knocked out, maybe killed, but he just stumbled a bit and turned back. There was something new in his face. Something Faith recognized.

Glee.

Pure joy at his power.

Faith stepped back, more than a little unnerved at seeing herself in his face. He took the opportunity to send a right jab at her nose.

“Now we’re equals,” he whispered.

Faith stumbled back, shocked at the unfamiliar sensation of slayer strength used against her.

“Faith,” Xander yelled. “Fight him.”

Faith pulled herself together and focused on her opponent.

“You’ll never be my equal,” she replied.

She caught his next punch and squeezed his fist as hard as she could. He crumpled a bit at the pain, but rallied and freed his hand, at the same time, kicking out at her knees.

Faith managed to jump back in time and grasped his leg, tossing him onto his back. He was only down for a second before he kipped back onto his feet and unleashed a flurry of punches. Faith dodged as quickly as she could but he was too fast and several of the punches landed, sending pain shooting through her body.

She stumbled back to get out of range and fell backward onto the floor.

Thug stepped forward to loom over her, delighted at her helplessness.

“Who’s got the power now?” he asked.

Faith waited as he stepped closer. She knew she’d have to use all of her strength and she tensed every muscle while trying to look passive and weak. When he was close enough she lashed out with her right foot and caught him in the balls.

He stumbled backwards and in an instant Faith was back on her feet. She whipped around and delivered a kick to his head, knocking him out cold.

“You may have the power,” she answered. “But I am the power.”

She walked back to where Carmen and Xander were huddled against the wall and hauled them up and out the door, into the hazy early morning sun.

Fred stepped closer and put her arms around Willow. She twisted away but Fred held tight.

“Shh, no you’re not.”

“I am, you don’t know. I’ve done things-“ Willow replied, calming slightly under Fred’s caresses. “Fred, there’s something you should know about me,” Willow began.

“Ok, is this about that guy you killed?”

Willow looked up, “You know about that?”

“Everyone knows about that.”

“Really?”

“Yes. And I totally get it. He shot your best friend.”

Willow hesitated for a moment. That didn’t sound right. Warren had shot Buffy, yes, but that hardly seemed like reason enough to flay him. But it had been. Right? The more she thought about it the more confused she got.

“I killed a man once,” Fred said quietly.

“What?”

“He was my professor in college. He sent me to Pylea, so I killed him.”

Willow stood there, mouth agape for seconds before she could formulate a reply. “Do you regret it?”

Fred suddenly looked …different. She had always seemed girlish, much younger than her twenty five years. Now she seemed so old, weary. She had the look of someone who’d seen things the rest of the world couldn’t imagine. ‘She looks like… well,’ Willow thought, ‘Like us. Like all of us. Is this how I seem? One second childlike, another so much older than aged?’

“Yes,” Fred answered, interrupting Willow’s reverie. “He was awful but-“

“He could have changed. You took that away.”

Fred looked up into Willow’s eyes and for the first time in her entire life, she felt completely understood. She nodded and replied. “I made it so all he ever was, was a monster. And I never once thought about what it was like for him – the terror. I just-”

Willow nodded “I know.” Everyone made excuses. He was a monster, a murder. Who knows how many lives Rack had destroyed. But it was all meaningless because she knew, she knew that what she’d done was wrong. And Fred knew, Fred knew her.

“We were monsters. But we don’t have to be. We can be better,” Fred said.

Willow nodded and smiled. “Thank you.”

Fred tightened her arms around Willow and they put their heads on each others shoulders and stood in the street, heads, breasts, bellies, thighs pressed together.

From the doorway Giles watched in silence. The thoughts that had sped through his mind in the last few minutes were too numerous to process. But primarily he thought, ‘How amazing. These girls, these children, these murderers, these heroes. How amazing.’

“How ya feelin’?” Faith asked as she entered Xander’s hospital room.

“Lousy. I hate hospitals and stuff’s been coming back.”

“Yeah, hangovers are a bitch. Want a bucket or something?”

“Memories.”

“Oh.”

“I was an ass. If I hadn’t hit that guy-“

“Then we wouldn’t have had our wacky adventure. And you wouldn’t have this sexy new hospital gown,” Faith replied. “Don’t worry; the other guards probably would have stopped us anyway.”

“Still, it was stupid.”

“No. It was brave,” Faith said looking down at her hands. “Um, I was thinking-“

“Yeah?”

“I tried to kill you.”

“Segue much?”

“You took a bullet for me and I tried to kill you.”

“Yeah, but that was years ago.”

“Fun legal fact – there’s no statute of limitations on murder.”

“Well then the law is stupid.”

Faith wanted to say more – ‘Hey want to get coffee?’ ‘Hey I hear you’ve got a thing for mass murderers.’ But somehow hitting on Xander wasn’t like grabbing a guy on the dance floor so she said, “Anyway, thanks. Get some rest.”

“Ok,” Xander replied and watched her go.