Not Like Last Time
Season8, episode 16
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

"I agree with the witch sometimes," Blue said. "Sometimes I think that the only way to save them is to end it. All they do is cause each other pain." Blue turned back to face Spike. "I could end it you know. It'd hurt like hell, but I could do it. Sometimes the temptation is overwhelming," she said as she walked around the cave. "I come so close… but then I see something amazing. My girls, enjoying some sort of joy amidst the cruelty that's been thrust upon them. A vampire sacrificing herself for her child," she said as she bent down to where Spike was lying on the floor. "A thing of evil," she said into his ear, "wanting so badly to be good. You give me hope. How could I deny you anything?" she finished and placed her hand on his chest.
The pain eased and he was filled with warmth. The light blinded him again and the cave and demon disappeared. (from 8.04)

“The blood sample belongs to a very sophisticated, highly intelligent demon named Cemtaur. He’s the last of his kind.” (from 8.03)

“So far his history is even vaguer than Glory’s - and more bizarre.” (from 8.10)

“I want the slayer.”

“Course,” Spike replied, trying to catch his breath. “Which one?”

“The Slayer,” Cemtaur replied. “The last true slayer.”

“Buffy,” Dawn said.

“No, Faith.” (from 8.12)

Spike turned his eyes to hers. They were completely empty.

“Where’d it go?” he whispered hoarsely.

“What?” Buffy asked.

“The spark.” (from 8.15)

Faith turned to look at Anya. “It wasn’t just something to knock me out.”

“Oh, ok, well, I seem to be quite handy with the chemistry set, so…”

“There isn’t an antidote,” Faith said. “I know what this is.”

“What?”

“My Cruciamentum.” (from 8.15)

Cemtaur had made a tactical error. He should have known that even with surprise and the slayer’s unwillingness to hurt her friend on his side, he’d still be taken out in a second. No matter. The playing field had been leveled. It was just a matter of finding the girl and he knew just how to draw her out. Xander couldn’t help but smile as he surveyed his friends’ limp bodies. The slayer was as good as his.

“Ok,” Buffy said as she paced around the cave. “We need a plan.”

“Stunning observation. Brilliant really,” Spike muttered.

“Bite me.”

“That phrase is so tired, love.”

“It’s only tired when other people say it. When I say it it’s funny cause - you know - Vampire Slayer.”

“Right. Look, sun’s up so-”

“You know what’s tired? Your death wish. Get over it.”

“Oh, ok.”

“Spike-”

“Look, nothing you say can change the fact that I’m a danger and that at some point you’ll need to do your job - Vampire Slayer.”

“You’re not a threat.”

“How can you say that? How can you of all people say that? I‘m a monster.”

“Would you please stop going on like you’re Spikelus now? Even without a soul-”

“I still wanted to kill every person I came across. I still watched car crashes like most men watch porn. If you knew the dreams I had - the fantasies…”

“Spike-”

“I’m not safe. Not without the chip.”

“Ok, well plan D will be contacting Riley.”

“Buffy…”

“I’m working on the plan. Ok? Quiet time.”

“Fine.”

“Did you get a hold of anyone?” Anya whispered as Faith crawled back into the pantry.

Faith shook her head. “Phones are dead. No internet connection either.”

“Ok. So what’s the plan?”

“I don’t know,” Faith replied. “You think of the plan.”

“Ok,” Anya said. “How about we hide and wait for one of the slayers to stop by?”

“Good, good, I like that plan,” Faith said sarcastically and clasped her hands in her lap. She hated feeling so helpless, waiting for someone to rescue her was not her style. How had she ever lived like this? “I can probably still take him,” she finally said.

“Beat him senseless. Sound plan. But haven’t you been training him for a month or so?”

“Yeah. Kinda regret that now.”

“I think we should just wait here - or leave. I like that plan too.”

“I’m not running.”

“So we wait.”

Back at the hotel Buffy had just put down the phone.

“No answer. Wonder what they‘re up to?” Buffy said.

“Wacky fun I’m sure. I can just picture it. Abrasive curled up with a terrible book. Half Pint and Yellow Crayon playing pillow fort… “

“Stop calling people by their attributes and help me think.”

Spike looked up from the bed. “Why are you so intent on this? ”

“You know slayers. Always trying to help people. Meddlesome do-gooders.”

Spike looked her in the eye. “Seriously.”

Buffy looked down at her hands and considered the answer. It wasn‘t exactly a candle lit dinner but it seemed like as good a time as any to tell him. “Because,” Buffy replied quietly. “I meant what I said.”

“What?”

“In the Hellmouth,” Buffy continued. “I know you don’t believe me. And I can’t really blame you. I treated you- Well, I’d probably treat shit better than I treated you. But I meant it,” Buffy said, still staring intently at her hands.

Spike couldn’t quite process what he was hearing. “No,” he said. “You don’t. You can’t. You can’t trust me and-“

“I do,” Buffy replied. “I have.”

Spike stood up and walked up to her. “Really? You sure?” he said menacingly.

Buffy looked him in the eye and decided that actions spoke louder. “Yes,” she replied and grabbed his coat, pulling him down on top of her onto the floor. She looked up at him, searching his eyes. “You’ve changed,” she said.

Spike was visibly upset. “Doesn’t mean anything,” he said, trying to back away and stand up. “You know you could fight me off.”

“What do you want me to do? Stab myself? Break a leg?” Buffy replied. “Spike, I trust you.”

“Well you shouldn’t,” he said, crawling back away from her. “I don’t love you.”

The color drained from Buffy’s face as she sat up. “What?”

“Turns out, all those times I claimed I loved you and you claimed I couldn’t – you were right. I didn’t love you till the soul.”

“But-“

“I was obsessed. It was twisted and wrong. But after –“ Spike said, tears welling in his eyes. “I could feel you, see you and I loved you. I remember that I love you but I can’t feel it anymore and there’s just this… emptiness.”

“Spike-“

“I can’t live like this. I can’t go back to this,” Spike said, tears spilling down his face.

Buffy watched him, unsure of what to say. He sat across from her on his knees, his hands on his thighs, palms face up. She hadn‘t seen him look so broken since the church.

“Well,” she finally began. “You’re going to have to for a little longer because whether you love me or not, I still love you and I’m not giving up. Now, tell me about the demon who brought you back to life.”

“Fa-aith, Faithy,” Xander’s voice sing-songed down the hall. “Come out and see the present I got you.”

“Present?” Anya hissed.

Faith looked around wildly. ‘A gun? No, he seems to want to take me back to Cemtaur. He’s not going to kill me. He’s-’

“Old people are so delicate,” Xander called. “Skin like paper.”

“Giles,” Faith whispered.

“I wonder what it would sound like if I just started peeling.”

“Oh God,” Anya whispered. “What do we do?”

“You stay here,” Faith replied as she got up.

Anya reached up and grasped her hand. “I was kidding before. Don’t hurt Xander.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t,” Faith said as she turned to leave, then whispered under her breath, “Unless I have to.”

“God bless slayers and their predictability,” Xander called out as Faith stepped onto the balcony and looked down at the foyer.

“Let him go,” she said.

“Faith,” Giles whispered. “Get out of the house. Find Buffy.”

“Aw,” Xander cooed. “Noble self sacrifice. Makes me all weepy.”

“I’m here, now let him go,” Faith said as she walked down the stairs.

When Faith reached them Xander released Giles, who slumped down onto the floor. He hit hard, taking most of the force through his shoulder- but he didn’t pass out. He was determined not to pass out.

“Shall we?” Xander asked and offered his arm.

Faith barely glanced at him as she walked ahead toward the door. She was waiting. She wanted to get far enough away from Giles so that Xander couldn’t grab him again. But Giles had other ideas. Xander was almost out of reach when Giles rallied and reached out to grab Xander’s leg, throwing him off balance.

‘Ok, new plan,‘ Faith thought. She spun around and quickly slammed her fist into Xander’s face as he struggled to regain his balance. She used all her strength, but still it only knocked him back onto his ass. Meanwhile, pain shot through her arm so forcefully she thought she might have broken it. She shook it off and concentrated on pulling Giles up and running like hell.

“This is easily the lamest thing I’ve ever done,” Spike muttered.

“Shh,” Buffy hissed. “The guards are still around somewhere.”

“They wouldn’t be if you’d killed them like I suggested.”

“Yeah, but then there’s the blood splatters and I like this top.”

“So that’s the real secret to morality?” Spike asked. “Not having a soul - fashion consciousness.”

“Yep,” Buffy replied. “We could skip this whole mess if you’d start reading GQ.”

“But scaling library walls in the middle of the night is such fun.”

“I’m enjoying it.”

“You’re a freak,” Spike replied as he pulled himself over the wall and onto the roof.

Buffy pulled herself up after him and straightened her clothes. “What sort of security do you think they have?”

“Around the texts we’re looking for? State of the art.”

“So, open to suggestions here.”

“Here’s one: think of these things before we’re on a rooftop overlooking Nairobi.”

“Well, I‘m think of it now. How hard do you think it‘ll be to get in?”

Spike shook his head. “Very. And it’s not like the council couldn’t get us in.”

“It’ll take weeks to get authorization to see the texts we need,” Buffy said, though she suspected it would be more like a few days. But a few says was still a few days too long. She wanted Spike back. Not mopey death wish Spike. The fun Spike. The Spike who loved her. “We have to break in.”

“And this has nothing to do with you getting the Alias dvds for Christmas.”

“Nothing whatsoever,” Buffy said with a nod. “But I could take her.”

“Who?”

“Sydney.”

“Oh, easy,” Spike affirmed.

“Do you think Sydney’s prettier than me?”

“Not even close.”

“Good.”

“Giles!” Anya whispered joyfully as he entered the pantry. She got up and threw her arms around him. “You didn’t kill Xander did you?”

“No, he’s fine,” Faith said, taking a seat on the floor.

Giles slid down beside her and said, “Well, as good as can be expected when your body is possessed by a demonic force.”

“How do we get it out of him?” Faith asked.

“Well, normally I’d say Willow but he’ll expect that. I’m sure he’s ready to capture you if we go back to the library.”

“Well we can’t just keep waiting around for him to get his act together. Eventually he’s going to take another hostage and I won’t have any choice but to follow him.”

“You always have a choice Faith.”

“What? You think I should have let him peel your skin off?”

“Frankly, yes,” Giles replied.

“Giles.”

“This is more important than either of us Faith.”

“I don’t care. I’m not going to let him hurt someone. I can’t.”

“Ok,” Anya interjected. “We’re at a bit of an impasse. What do you say we move on? Ok? So let’s talk spells.”

“Ok,” Buffy said as she appraised the console before her. “I can do this. We just cut the wires, right?”

Spike shook his head. “That’ll trip the alarm.”

“Ok, we cut the alarm that this trips.”

“And that’s where?”

“How should I know? I’m not the one who lived a life of crime.”

“I wasn’t exactly an art thief, pet. Mainly liquor stores and jewelry for Dru.”

“Jewelry stores, they must have security. How’d you get past it?”

“I bashed in the window, grabbed what I wanted, and killed whoever got in the way.”

“Ok, so we’ll do that. “

“I‘m starting to think I‘m not the only one missing a soul.”

“Without the killing. Doesn’t matter how many alarms we set off, right? We’re faster than them.”

“We’re talking about stealing priceless antiquities.”

“We’ll give them back when we’re done.”

“We don’t have any spell books and we can’t go back to the library,” Giles said. “Our only hope is sending Faith for reinforcements.”

“You don’t remember a single spell?” Anya said. “Come on, you’re not that old.”

“The human memory is notoriously unreliable. Who knows what effect we could produce.”

“I say we try it,” Faith said.

“And I say the risk is too great,” Giles replied. “I am your watcher and-”

Faith’s eyes went wide. She was beyond pissed. “Don’t give me that crap. It’s a new world. Slayers call the shots,” she said forcefully. “I am co chair of this organization and I say we try the spell.”

Anya and Giles were silent for a minute. “Alright,” Giles finally said. “I think I can remember most of the ingredients for a sleep spell. It’ll at least take him out while we revive Willow.”

“Good.”

“Um,” Anya said tentatively. “How are we going to administer it? I mean- I don’t think he’ll fall for a little cake with ‘Eat me’ written on it.”

Outside something crashed through the front doors.

“What’s that?” Anya whispered.

Giles strained to hear the clicks and grunts coming from below. “He sent for reinforcements.”

“I want reinforcements,” Anya said.

“Tough,” Faith replied. “We’ve got us and that’s it. So here’s the plan-”

“Come on Buffy we’ve got to get out of here,” Spike urged.

“Just a few more,” Buffy whispered. “We have to be sure we’ve got everything.”

“We can outrun the guards, we can’t outrun guns. We need a head start.”

“Fine, got it. Let’s go,” Buffy said as she grabbed the last scroll off the shelf, stuffed it in her bag, whirled around and came face to face with a guard.

Before she had time to react, Spike’s fist struck out and knocked the guard down. “Come one,” he said and grabbed Buffy’s arm to pull her toward the door.

Outside the special collections room they tore through the hallway toward the entrance. In front of them four guards stepped out and raised their guns.

“Shit,” Spike whispered. Still holding Buffy’s arm firmly, he ran toward a stairway.

They could hear the guards follow them but vamp and slayer strength gave them the edge and they were at the top before the guards were halfway up the stairs.

They ran across the roof and stopped short where their rappelling gear used to be.

“They found it,” Buffy said.

“Shit.”

“You keep saying that,” Buffy said and turned to survey the roof.

“It keeps being appropriate,” Spike said, looking down at the alley below. “Now what?”

“Now we jump,” Buffy answered.

Spike turned to follow her gaze. Across the alley to their right was a building slightly taller than the library. “No,” Spike said.

“Come on, we can make it,” Buffy said and pulled him back to get a running start.

Spike stumbled backward, but he was still shaking his head. “No. It’s too far. The fall will kill you.”

“Then I won’t fall,” Buff answered and took off running. Behind her she heard the guards burst through the doorway. “Come on,” she shouted back at Spike.

Spike shook his head and took off after her. He ran as fast as he could to catch up and they both pushed off the rooftop at the same time.

Back on the library roof the guards watched on, too stunned to speak as the pair defied gravity and landed safely on the building next door.

“So,” Spike said as he opened the nearest scroll. “How are you with hieratic?”

“Shit,” Buffy replied.

“I think this might just be the most ill conceived plan ever. I mean ever,” Spike said.

“Well I thought we’d be able to get a hold of Dawn by now,“ Buffy said. “I hope they’re ok.”

“I’m sure they’re fine.”

“Yeah,” Buffy replied. “Ok. So we’ll just find a translator.”

“One who won’t turn us in to the authorities.”

“Yeah. One like that. You must have some evil crony contacts.”

“Right,” Spike said and put the scroll away. He didn’t hold out much hope of finding Blue but the sooner they exhausted all their options the sooner Buffy would give up.

“Faith, go. Faith, he’ll get what he wants and he’ll kill you,” Xander yelled as she approached.

Faith paused. Was this really Xander or was it a trick? “Xander,” Faith said. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know - he’s busy or something. His mind’s elsewhere but we don‘t have much time. Get everyone out.”

Faith eyed him for a moment. “Ok, but first I have to inject you with this,” Faith said and held up a syringe.

Xander took step back. “Don’t get me wrong, you and me playing doctor is one of my favorite fantasies but-”

“Don’t worry. It won’t hurt,” Faith said as she walked toward him.

“Ok,” Xander said and took a deep breath. He stuck out his arm and waited for the pain. But before Faith reached him the will came back. He grabbed Faith’s arm and pulled her to him.

“What’s this?” he asked.

Faith tried to jerk her arm away but he held fast.

“Smart move,” Xander said. “Won’t help though. You know what would help?”

“Hunting down your scaly ass and killing you?”

“Close. Killing him.”

“No,” Faith said.

“I know you want it,” Xander whispered. “It’s who you are. Come back with me. Be the slayer you were born to be.”

“That’s what you’ve wanted this whole time? A hired killer?”

“No Faith. You’ll be so much more than that. You’ll be the slayer.”

“I’m already a slayer.”

“The Slayer.”

“Can’t these guys translate faster?” Buffy said.

Spike looked up from the mound of paper piling up on the floor. “We haven’t read half the stuff they’ve put out.”

Buffy looked over at the demon translators. With one hand they ran their fingers over the text and with the other they rapidly wrote out English translations. “I know, I’m just anxious. I’ve never been a wanted criminal before.”

“Weren’t you wanted for murder?” Spike said, still looking through the papers.

“Yes, ok. But I’ve never been wanted for something I actually did.”

“Here, here,” Spike said suddenly, pointing to a page in front of him. “Cobalt demon…”

“Yes,” Buffy said and crouched down beside him. She leaned in over his shoulder to read along with him. “Sacred space… Incantation… Yada Yada. This sounds easy.”

“Blood of a sacrifice,” Spike said.

“What kind of sacrifice?”

“I don’t know.”

“Did you make a sacrifice?”

“I was non corporeal. I wasn’t exactly rounding up goats.”

“Then how’d you get in?”

Spike shrugged. “Dunno. We can probably get a lamb at the market,” he said as he stood up.

Buffy looked up at him, realization dawning on her face. “No. We’ve got the blood here. Your blood let you in. Your sacrifice.”

“I didn’t so much bleed as dust.”

“Whatever. It’s symbolic. We’re both sacrifices. We’re in.”

“People don’t change Faith. You’re still a killer,” Xander spat.

“Shut up,” Faith replied, still trying to pull her arm away.

“Come on, kill me. Kill me and become yourself.”

“No,” Faith said, shaking her head. “I won’t hurt Xander.”

“He hurt you. Bashed that bar right into that empty little head of yours.”

“That was you, not him.”

“I may have done it, but he enjoyed it. You should have felt the joy. Got him hard.”

“No. Shut up,” Faith replied.

“You’re two of a kind. Evil, murderous, bitch.”

Spike walked cautiously into the cave and stood before Blue. She sat cross legged in the middle of the room and gave no indication of having noticed him. Buffy came in and stood behind Spike and appraised the wall decorations.

Spike fidgeted and shuffled his feet for a while before speaking up, “Um, I need a favor,” he said hesitantly.

Blue turned her eyes up to look at him, then turned back to the wall.

“It’s a good thing,” he said lamely. “I need my soul back… It’s for the greater good and all that rot.”

“And all that rot,” Blue replied. “Well, I’m inspired. Now I’ll have to grant your request.”

“Come on, we’re palls you and I. I give you hope and that.”

Blue ignored him and looked over at Buffy, who had made her way half way around the cave, and was still examining the images. They were familiar somehow but she couldn’t quite place them. Demons, four people, no- three. Three against the fourth.

“What do you see?” Blue asked.

“You’re the demon,” Buffy said without looking back at her. “The demon whose heart created the slayer.”

Blue stood up and walked over to the wall. Buffy reached out her hand and brushed the tips of her fingers over an image of a girl in chains. “How did they do it?” she asked.

“Trap my heart in a box? Magic.”

“Wait. You’re the source? That’s impossible,” Spike said. “How did you survive having your heart ripped out?”

“It’s not literally my heart,” Blue explained with the air of someone explaining an idiom to a child.

“Right, well this is fascinating,” Spike replied. “Can we get back to the soul problem?”

“No more hand outs,” Blue said.

“Ok. No hand outs. What can I do in return?” Buffy asked.

Blue appraised her coolly. “The slayer champions a vampire,” she said. “Odd.”

“Not such a surprise,” Buffy replied.

“No,” Blue agreed. “Not for someone who knows you as I do.”

It was Buffy’s turn to appraise Blue. “What do you know?”

“Your heart. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, it’s why I chose you.”

“What do you mean?” Buffy said. “You choose the slayers?”

“Yes,” Blue said and returned to the middle of the cave and sat down.

“I don‘t understand.”

“It seems that by using my power the first watchers inadvertently gave me control over where the power goes.”

“If you’re so powerful,” Spike said, looking around the cave. “Why do you live in this hole?”

“It’s not so bad,” Blue replied. “I’ve got these lovely paintings and sometimes annoying vampires come to beg favors.”

Back at the house, Giles and Anya had made their way to Giles‘ apartment.

“Do you think she got him?” Anya said.

“We can’t worry about that now,” Giles replied.

“But if she didn’t… If he somehow trapped her-”

“Then we still have a house full of demons to take out.”

“Right,” Anya replied and turned her attention back to the weapons chest. “I want a cross bow. Long range weapons are the way to go. Learned my lesson the last time.”

“Don’t worry,” Giles said. “You won’t have to fight. Just run.”

Giles took the lead and Anya trailed anxiously after him. It took her a moment to realize that they were following the sound of crashing and breaking coming from the training room.

“Why do the lower demons have to be so destructive?” Anya whispered. “I never randomly destroyed property.”

“Just lives,” Giles replied.

“Yes, but not property and I think I deserve a little acknowledgement for that.”

“Fine. I’m very proud. Now get ready to run.”

Giles rounded the corner and stood in the entry way of the training room. “Hello,” he called to the two demons inside. “Love what you’ve done with the place.”

They turned to look at him, then surged forward.

“Run,” Giles yelled as he ran back the way they’d come. Anya turned to follow him.

“That was the plan?” she screamed.

Giles ignored her and kept running until they reached a doorway that Anya had never noticed before. He yelled, “Two,” opened the door and ran through.

Anya followed and nearly ran into Giles. “What’s this? Why are we stopping?”

“Watch,” he replied.

Anya turned back toward the door and watched as the demons ran toward them and were incinerated instantly. Anya stared at the demon ash on the floor, then looked at Giles. “What the hell was that?” she asked.

Beside her Giles was struggling to catch his breath. “Just a little home security system Buffy and Willow have been working on.”

“It’s brilliant,” Anya said with childlike glee. “Let’s do it again.”

“Spike,” Blue said without taking her eyes off Buffy. “Be a dear and leave.”

“Why?”

“We have things to discuss.”

Spike looked over to Buffy. She nodded and he turned and walked out of the cave.

“Why should I grant this request?” Blue asked as soon as he was gone.

Buffy thought of all the thing he’d done. His goodness. His ability to fight. But she knew none of these reasons would satisfy Blue so she looked her in the eye and said, “Because I love him.”

“Does that matter?” Blue replied.

“Well, it does to me.”

“Really? You‘ve admitted you love him but will that actually change anything or are you going to go right back to hiding your feelings?”

“No,” Buffy said, though she wasn’t entirely sure she wouldn’t. “Stop with the questions.”

“You love him but you’re not together. That’s idiotic,” Blue stated.

“Do you know Anya?”

“What?”

“Never mind. I actually like have reasons for not being with him.”

“What reasons? You don’t have everything figured out? Never going to happen.”

“Well, ok, but I need to concentrate on personal stuff.”

“Love’s not personal?” Blue countered.

“Fair point,” Buffy conceded. “I mean, I don’t want to get all obsessy.”

“So don’t get ‘obsessy‘.” Blue replied. “It’s time to embrace the pain.”

“Been there, done that, and all I got was a lousy mental breakdown.”

“Trust me, it will be harder for you if you don’t.”

“Ok, I’ll take that under consideration,” Buffy said. “Can we get back to the soul thing?”

“This is the soul thing. This is the deal.”

“What? I agree to date Spike and you give him a soul? That’s insane.”

“What can I say? I spend a lot of time alone,” Blue said with a shrug. “I’m asking for more than a date. I’m asking you to try.”

“How ‘bout I endure some more trials? Or a quest. I could kill something. Something big – with teeth.”

“Buffy.”

“Or I could bring you something. A puppy maybe. Everyone likes puppies.”

“No,” Blue said firmly. “This is the deal. Look, there are beings who care about the souled vampires. There are creatures who love humanity. Not me. Shanshu, Shamu, whatever. I care about one thing – my girls. He killed two and yet I gave him an enormous gift. I don’t feel inclined to give him another. If I do this I do it for you.”

Buffy looked around the cave. This wasn‘t going at all well. She was having a hard enough time processing the enormity of standing in front of the source of her power without having to deal with Spike issues. “I already try,” she argued. “I’m plenty open. You should see me with Dawn. I’m not parent of the year, but I’m head and shoulders above last year.”

“This is different. You know it is, that’s why you’re still hiding. Do you have any idea how few slayers had the luck to find someone with the strength and frankly, the patience to love a slayer?”

“Children are starving in China so I should eat my beans?” Buffy replied.

“That’s not what I mean.”

“I know. It’s a gift,” Buffy replied. “But sometimes the gift brings so much pain… and I’m not as strong as I was when I was younger. I don’t think I can love like that again. I don‘t know how.” Buffy paused to reign in her emotions. “You can’t deny him his soul just because I’m so broken.”

“I can and I will.”

Buffy threw up her hands in exasperation. “God you’re annoying.”

“Right back at you. Do we have a deal?”

Buffy looked down and kicked the ground. “Fine.”

Faith finally wrenched her arm away and stepped back. “I’m not a killer and I won’t be your instrument.”

Xander smiled and jabbed the syringe into her arm.

Faith stumbled back and collapsed onto the ground. Her eyes went glassy and her lids drooped. Her mouth opened and closed as if she was struggling to form words.

Xander looked down at her. “To be honest I didn’t hold out much hope that you’d be The Slayer. But you will be my instrument,” he said and leaned down to stroke her hair. “Whether you want to or not - you’ll be their undoing.”

Faith opened her eyes and smiled back at him. “No, just yours,” she replied and jabbed a trank dart into his side.

Xander’s eyes went wide and he fell back onto his ass.

“Sleep tight,” Faith whispered.

“Hey, didja miss me?” Buffy asked as she and Spike entered the library.

The gang looked up at her and the looks on their faces told her just about everything she needed to know.

“There was an attack,” she said.

“Yes,” Anya replied. “Luckily Giles and I fought them off.”

“Them who? Was Cemtar here?” Buffy replied.

“In a way,” Giles said. “He possessed Xander.”

Buffy’s eyes flew to Xander‘s. “Are you ok?”

Xander shrugged. “Sure. Not like it was my first time.”

Buffy nodded. She was sure he wasn’t ok, but further questioning could wait till they were alone. “Ok, did we know he could possess people?”

“It was a spell,” Willow replied. “One that I’m pretty sure I’ve got blocked.”

“Pretty sure isn’t going to cut it,” Buffy said. “Call the coven.”

Willow nodded. “On it.”

“There is good news,” Fred said. “He spilled the beans about Faith.”

“Well, not entirely,” Faith said. “Recruiting me seems to have been a side plan. The main plan was to use me to destroy the slayers.”

“We knew that. You didn’t get anything else?” Buffy asked.

“I was playing coma girl,” Faith replied. “I couldn’t exactly question him.”

“Ok, right,” Buffy replied. All in all it could have been a lot worse. She was about to stop panicking when a troubling thought entered her mind. “Ok, so, how did he know to make a move? How did he know I’d be gone?”

“Maybe he didn’t,” Willow replied. “Maybe he though with Xander as a cover he didn’t need to be cautious.”

“Maybe,” Buffy said.

“So,” Buffy said as she unpacked the weapons they’d taken to Africa. “You’ve got your shiny new soul.”

“Yeah,” Spike said. “Thanks by the way.”

“No big,” Buffy replied. She crouched down and quietly sorted her weapons for a while, setting aside and dull ones that needed cleaning. She looked up a few times, as if she wanted to say something, but thought better of it and looked down again.

Spike couldn’t help but smile. “Is there something you want to say pet?”

Buffy looked up, a little startled at his voice. “Um, well, I was- you know- curious about…”

“Whether or not I still loved you?” Spike offered.

Buffy couldn’t bear meeting his gaze. A thousand distractions entered her mind, a hundred ways she could play it off and change the subject. But she’d made a promise and more importantly- she was tired of feeling afraid. She was tired of being that scared, scarred little girl. She kept her head down and whispered. “Yeah, yes. Do you?”

Spike shrugged and replied, “Death, taxes, Spike loves Buffy. Some things are inescapable.”

“Unless you lose your soul again.”

“But without my soul I’m not Spike, am I? I’m Spikelus, or Spike: the mopey ass vampire.”

Buffy smiled and looked down. ‘Death, taxes, inescapable,’ she thought. ‘I’m a trap. I bring him nothing but pain.’ She shrugged off the thought. “We’ve both died twice,” Buffy replied with a forced smile. “And Will’s figured out all sorts of was of getting the Council out of paying taxes.”

He knelt down beside her and brushed a stray lock of hair from her face. “Well then, I guess there’s only one constant.”

Buffy smiled, a huge, toothy, joyful grin, then looked down self consciously.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said.

Buffy looked back up at his face and was struck by the open adoration. It used to be so scary, the way he looked at her. It only reminded her of how worthless she was. But now- it was exhilarating, freeing. “I- um. You too,” she blurted.

Spike smiled. “I’m beautiful? Not handsome?”

Buffy shrugged. God she was bad at this. “Yes, beautiful. That’s what I meant.”

“Ok, so, Beautiful, what now?

Buffy took a deep breath. “Want to get some coffee?” she asked.

“Sure thing.”

“You promised you could deliver the last slayer.”

“And I will,” Cemtaur replied.

“And what was all that? One of your games?”

“Call it a fact finding mission.”

“And what facts did you learn?”

“She’s stronger than her profile indicates. She refused to betray them,” Cemtaur said.

“Hardly surprising. Still, a little disappointing,” the man replied. “We could use another informant. Did you find out anything useful?”

“Time will tell.”