The post mortem adventures of Anya and Spike

Season8, episode 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Acknowledgments: Many thanks to Mel D and Linda for beta reading this episode.

Willow and Xander were engrossed in their conversation as they walked up the drive to the new council headquarters.

“And I miss her greed, you know? There was a purity to it.”

“I can see that.”

“She was so, God, so alive. You know how at first she was so distant and abrasive, like being human was this huge burden? But then she started to find so much joy. She’d get such a kick out of stupid little things that I wouldn’t have ever appreciated.”

“I wish I’d known her better,” Willow said.

“Me too,” Xander replied.

Meanwhile back in the rubble formerly known as Sunnydale, Anya was waking up to the strangest day of her life. The last thing she remembered was a sudden pain in her right shoulder. Then - nothing. A prolonged nothing was followed by an intense craving for grass. She opened her eyes and could only see rubble. More distressing than the ruins themselves was her inability to sit up and look out over the concrete and lumber around her. She tried to look around and get her bearings but soon found there was something wrong with her vision. The images from each eye weren't matching up the way they used to. And she could see farther on either side than before, it was like she could see an entire 180 degrees.

Then it hit her.

‘Oh no, Oh God no! NOOOOOO!’

She was a bunny.

Spike lingered in the hotel for a while after Dawn and Buffy left. He was relieved that Buffy was doing so much better. He hadn’t seen her so care free and happy since before Angel. At the same time, though, he was a little disappointed that she was doing so well without him. It led credence to his “I was no good for her” theory. Would it have killed her to pine a bit more? Victoria mourned Albert the rest of her life, Buffy couldn’t spare a few months?

‘Selfish git,’ he thought. ‘You should be-‘

His recriminations were cut off by a flash of light. Then everything was dark and still. All that was left was the voice.

“That’s right, selfish. You were never good enough for her demon.”

“Come on B, it’ll be fun,” Faith cajoled.

“I’m sure it will – enjoy,” Buffy answered without looking up from her book.

“No you have to come too.”

“I’m not really in the mood for clubbing. Besides, aren’t I getting a little old for that?”

“You’re 22 B, you just act like you’re 40.”

“I do not.”

“Prove it. Come on, we’ll dance, we’ll drink, we’ll find cute guys to drag home and have our wicked way with.”

“No, no wickedness.”

“Why not? Still hung up on fang boy?”

Buffy turned to Faith and coolly said, “He died saving the world, a little respect please.”

“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it I swear. Look, there doesn’t have to be wickedness. Just hang out, have fun.”

Buffy looked at Faith’s imploring face.

“Fine, but if it sucks I’m patrolling.”

“Great, I’ll get Willow.”

‘But how, how could this have happened? I was human, I was, I remember. We were fighting the Bringers and Twirly Hans while Willow did the spell on the girls and- Willow,’ Anya thought angrily.

'Try to destroy the world - bad. Slice open Xander, he abandoned me - he had it coming. But now you've crossed a line. When I find you, you are going down!’ she mentally shouted and angrily hopped up onto the remains of someone's roof, or rather she tried, but ended up missing, slamming her head into the roof and falling back down. ‘Just as soon as I get my legs working together.’

Finding the highway had seemed like a good plan, but in retrospect, perhaps not. Anya could barely contain her terror as huge machines went whipping by. Even a small car could crush all her little Bunny bones - this was so much worse than being mortal.

Anya calmed herself with thoughts of how she'd make Willow pay for yet another blotched spell. She still hadn't worked out the logistics, but after a thousand years as a vengeance demon Anya was confident that even in her new, slightly less powerful and entirely more disgusting form, she'd still be able to wreck vengeance on the witch. She just had to figure out where they'd gone and hitch a ride - easy.

Five hours later Anya was forced to admit that hitch hiking without opposable thumbs was not in fact easy. She was about to give up and try to find a nice little one bedroom warren when a car pulled over just ahead of her and a little girl jumped out and ran toward her crying, "Little Bunny. Little Bunny."

A woman dressed in a God awful peasant skirt, mismatched vest thing and Birkenstocks got out after her and called, "Honey, be careful. It might be diseased."

‘Diseased! Diseased!’ Anya thought. ‘I can't believe I'm taking insults from a woman who clearly reads Vogue for the horoscopes.’

Anya was so enraged that she didn't notice until it was too late that the girl had grabbed her. Suddenly she found herself hoisted up and spun around in the air.

Between the alarming rate at which the world was spinning by and her lingering inability to reconcile the images on either side of her head, she was ready to throw up in a matter of seconds.

"Karen stop!" her mother ordered. Anya took back every bad thing she'd thought about the woman.

"Can I keep it mommy? Can I please?" Karen cried shrilly.

‘Ok,’ Anya thought. ‘It's not a spell, I'm in hell.’

"Well, it doesn't look wild," the mother said thoughtfully. "It's probably a lost pet. I guess we should take it in, it'll never survive out here."

"Yay!" Karen cried clutching Anya so hard she thought her eyes might pop out.

‘Yes, definitely hell.’

“A cage! A fucking cage! You've got to be kidding me!” Anya cried, but of course it did no good. Bunny vocal cords were not conducive to speaking English. ‘Willow is so going to pay,’ she thought as she was lowered into the wire prison.

"Don't you just love your little home Fluffy? Isn't it cozy?" Karen cooed.

Anya replied with a look that she hoped conveyed her utter contempt for the whole situation.

"Aw you're so cute," Karen replied and patted her on the head.

Anya gave up on conveying her rage and decided to sit back and bide her time. Polly Anna had to sleep sometime and when she did, Anya would pounce, or rather, hop.

Later that night Anya hatched her plan. It may seem that there are no advantages to being a person trapped in a rabbit, but there are a few. For example, Anya was a good deal smarter than the average rabbit and the cage latch therefore posed little challenge. Once she was out it was just a matter of following her nose to the kitchen, then out the dog door, and –

"AHHHHHH!"

-into the jowls of a huge angry dog!

Anya stopped short, pivoted on one hind leg and leapt back into the kitchen, onto a stool, and up onto the counter.

Her heart was beating so fast she thought it would explode. It took her a while to realize that at least part of the accelerated heart beat was a byproduct of being the most horrifying creature known to man. She had to get out of this body, fast.

‘Ok Ok Ok. I can handle this. I’m driven and smart and – I’m FLUFFY! This is so totally hopeless,’ Anya thought to herself. Luckily Fido hadn’t followed her into the kitchen so she had some quiet time to think – about how frightened she was.

‘Alright, there aren’t a lot of options. It’s pretty much run real fast or get used to pellets,’ she decided at last.

She took a few calming, but ultimately futile breaths and made for the door, leaping at top speed onto the stool, the floor, and out the dog door.

She was half way across the yard before the dog noticed and started after her. She ran faster, slamming her legs into the ground as hard and fast as she could. Still the dog gained on her, barking. The sound grew louder as he closed the gap between them. The sharp barks seemed to tear through her ear drums. She could feel his breath against her fur as she ducked under the fence, narrowly escaping before his jaws closed on empty air. On the other side of the fence she kept running for five blocks before she calmed enough to slow down and stop.

‘Right. Right. Ok, calm, calm down. Ok,’ Anya chanted to herself. She looked around at the empty street. ‘Now what?’

Anya’s only lead on Willow was Angel’s detective agency. She was pretty sure Angel and his friends were the only people the Scoobies knew outside Sunnydale, not like they were a particularly interesting or likeable bunch. ‘So, just get to LA,’ she thought. ‘Easy.’

Several hours later an exhausted ex demon turned human, turned demon, turned human, now rabbit hobbled more than hopped into the bus terminal.

Anya was so tired she wanted to cry but she was close and she wasn’t about to give up. She managed to find a bus headed for LA and darted on board without being seen. Anya crawled under the very back seat and wedged herself against the wall. The floor was varnished with spilt soda and bubble gum but she was safe and warm and she could rest. She closed her eyes and began to drift. She dreamt a jumble of bunny POV images: shoes bad dog, dish of pellets, but with time these were replaced by more pleasant images: money, cookies, Xander, naked Xander. She woke up and for the first time she let herself ask the question that had been hovering at the back of her mind, ‘Did he make it?’

She remembered Tara telling her once that if anything happened to him, she’d know. But would she? Tara was a sweet girl, but not exactly realistic. Anya concentrated on Xander, trying to feel his presence. But all she sensed was a sticky floor and the bus bumping along the road. Gradually the bumping became rocking and she fell asleep.

Anya woke to feet shuffling all around her. She crawled out from under the seat and peered up. Everyone was gathering their things and making their way slowly toward the exit. She waited till everyone had gone to dart off the bus and into bustling LA, where everything suddenly seemed three times worse.

“Oh good, I’ve gone mad again,” Spike thought. It was just like before, dark subterranean room, a voice tormenting him with his sins.

“I know,” he shouted. “Trust me I got that one already. Leave Me Alone!”

There was no reply. Spike started to panic. “Not again. Not again,” he chanted. How could he go through that again? And without her? Without her pulling him out, giving him a reason to get it together – impossible. He’d never manage alone.

“All true,” the voice said. “You’re pathetic.”

“What? Who’s that?” Spike asked.

His vision cleared a bit as he looked around, trying to determine what direction the voice was coming from. He seemed to be standing in a cave, but there didn’t appear to be a way out.

Suddenly a tall blue demon glided out of the dark. Her face seemed to shimmer. At first he though her face was reflecting some light source that he couldn’t see, then he realized her face was the light source. That was new. Well, at least he wasn’t going crazy again.

“You wish to go back,” Blue stated.

“Back?” Spike asked.

“To the realm of the living?”

“Yes actually. Is that why I’m still around?”

“Request denied.”

“What? I just got here. I didn’t even know going back was an option.”

Even with more than one bathroom at their disposal it took the girls several hours to get ready.

“I’m so glad you decided to come,” Willow said.

“Me too,” Buffy replied, not altogether convincingly.

“Is Kennedy coming?”

“No,” Willow answered looking down. “We’re kinda on a break – or rather, are broken up.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’ve just been processing it. It was just a couple days ago.”

“I’m sorry,” Buffy said hugging her.

“No worries, and we’re still friends, or we will be. The point is there won’t be any weirdness at council meetings, I promise.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Buffy replied.

“Hey girls, you ready to go?” Faith said poking her head in the bathroom.

Buffy looked to Willow, “Yeah we’re ready,” Willow replied.

Anya deftly dodged between pedestrians and up the stairs into the front door of Wolfram and Hart. Once inside she took a moment to get her bearings. She was doing this a lot lately. It was amazingly difficult to keep track of where you were and where you were going when you were less than two feet high. Despite these difficulties, it was a little unnerving how good she was getting at being a bunny. ‘If am stuck like this,’ she thought, ‘It wouldn’t be so bad.’ Just then a foot narrowly missed Anya’s head. ‘Who am I kidding, this blows.’

Xander whistled softly as the girls came down the stairs.

“How do we look?” Buffy asked.

“You’ll be the belles of the rave.”

“You know it,” Faith replied.

“I wish I could go,” Dawn said.

“Sorry, you’re underage even here,” Buffy said.

“ ‘Sallright. I’ve got loads of fun planned. First we’ll study vocab words then you can quiz me with reading comprehension games and to top it all off – the fun fest that is college entrance applications.”

“Don’t stay up too late,” Buffy said as they walked to the door.

“I think I can resist the temptation,” Dawn replied and reached out to hug Buffy. “Have fun. Remember to use a condom.”

Buffy was too shocked to reply and Faith had to physically turn her and push her out the door.

“You defiled her,” Blue said as she walked around the cave.

“Hey, she did her fair share of defiling,” Spike replied.

“She was lost and you destroyed her, pulled her down through your muck.”

“She wasn’t destroyed,” he objected, “take something much stronger than me to destroy her.”

“You’re disgusting,” the demon said circling around him.

“Stop it.”

“Vile abomination. You attacked her IN HER OWN HOME.”

“You think I’ve forgotten?”

“You dare to stay lurking about, stalking her. Your time has passed. LEAVE HER BE,” the demon bellowed.

Spike was about to shout right back, but he got a hold of himself and answered simply, “I can’t.”

“Selfish, obsessive, worthless demon.”

“Pot? Kettle? You’re not exactly human yourself. Now what am I doing here if you’ve already decided I can’t go back?” Spike asked.

“You will be judged.”

“Like for heaven or hell?”

“No, I have decided to hear your request for return.”

“You just said it was decided.”

“Yes, capricious, aren’t I?” Blue asked smiling for the first time.

“Great, well what do I do to persuade you?”

“This isn’t something you can earn. It’s a gift that I will or will not choose to bestow. And I never bestow it on A THING OF EVIL,” the demon shouted and Spike found himself flying through the air and slamming against the cave wall.

‘It’s remarkable how much this hurts considering I no longer have a body,’ he thought.

The club was so loud Buffy could feel her intestines vibrating. The Bronze had never been like this, had it? Faith was out on the floor dancing with anyone and everyone. Even Willow was getting to the spirit of things, wildly gyrating with the most gorgeous woman Buffy’d ever seen. Buffy, however, had only danced with Willow and Faith, then feigned fatigue and sat out the next twelve songs.

It had taken several hours but Anya had managed to type out a message on Angel’s computer.

Help me. I’m Anya. Buffy’s friend. I almost married Xander, you didn’t send a gift, remember?

Please help.

I’m a rabbit. Why? Three guesses. Right. Willow.

I need to find her and kill her. Kidding. Just want to go back. To being human. Help.

PS Did Xander make it?

It lacked the elegance her correspondences usually exhibited, but it was rather difficult to type with paws.

Angel entered soon after she’d finished. He was covered in some sort of demon blood and was followed by a bean pole.

“Wow, that was exitin’ wasn’t it?” Apparently the bean pole was Texan.

“I was worried lawyer work’d be dull, but that was great,” bean pole cooed.

Anya hated her.

“AHHHH,” beanpole cried, “Bu bu Bunny – Rabbit thing,” she said pointing shakily at Anya who was still perched on the keyboard.

‘Hmm, maybe this girl’s ok after all. Definitely sensible.’

“What the…?” Angel said. He went to pick up his phone and call Wes but the computer screen caught his eye. He read Anya’s message, then again, and a third time.

“Ah, hello,” he said turning to Anya, “Nice to umm. Well, I guess we’ve met, but not formally. Anyway nice to see you. Uh, yes Xander’s ok. And - WESLEY!”

“Fascinating, just fascinating,” Wesley said staring at Anya.

She had a vague memory of having met Wesley at prom or something, but she didn’t remember him being so annoying. If he said fascinating once more time, he was definitely going on her smite list.

“Wonderful. Well, I guess we’d better get her on a plane to London. I don’t know anyone here at Willow’s level and it’ll be impossible to figure out what happened without more details regarding the spell.”

“We can’t just put her on a plane by herself, can we?” Fred asked.

“No, she should definitely have an attendant. Would you mind going?”

‘Who?’ Anya thought, ‘Who’s he taking to?’ She was having a terrible time trying to crane her neck to follow the conversation.

“Me?” Fred replied.

‘Crap,’ Anya thought.

“Well, you’ve done the best job of getting your department in order. It seems you’re the most obvious choice.”

“But I- I’m,” she couldn’t explain to Angel and Wes that she was afraid of rabbits, not after all the horrific demons they’d faced. “Well, I always wanted to see London.”

“And this one time the dog ran away and when he came back he was green. No one knows why but I have a theory that…”

‘Oh God, just kill me,’ Anya thought. She and Fred were seated next to each other on the plane in flagrant violation of FAA regulations. Angel seemed to have connections.

“But if it was some sort of algae that wouldn’t explain…”

Anya mentally upgraded Fred from wart spell to eternal pain spell on her “to smite” list.

“Our in flight movie is The Emperor’s Club. If you would like to…”

‘Why am I being punished?’ Anya thought. ‘Is it the vengeance? Is this some sort of hell for vengeance demons?’

“Oh, I love these sorts of movies don’t you? All about the power of great teachers and education. It’s just so inspiring,” Fred said in just about the cutest voice imaginable.

‘Maybe if I bash my head against the arm rest hard enough,’ Anya thought, ‘I can knock myself unconscious.’

“The theme of the selection is A: Hope springs eternal, B: love never dies, or C: Love conquers all?” Dawn asked.

Xander answered mentally, ‘D: The test writers are heartless and cruel.’ “Hope springs eternal?”

“Very good. I don’t know why you’re so stressed. You’re totally gonna Ace this,” Dawn said tossing the booklet on the couch next to her. “And since you’re so well prepared, let’s have some fun that’s actually fun.”

“Ok, you pick.”

“We could rent a movie.”

“Boring.”

“Fine, you pick.”

“Pillow fort?”

Dawn mentally totaled all the pillows and cushions in the mansion and her eyes went wide with delight.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Xander replied.

Three hours later Dawn and Xander were ensconced in their seven bed, three bath pillow fort munching on popcorn and Laffy Taffy.

“What do you call a monkey who loves potato chips?” Dawn asked reading off the wrapper.

“No idea,” Xander replied.

“A chipmonk,” Dawn replied. “God these are terrible.”

“Anya would have liked it,” Xander said softly.

Dawn was silent for a moment. “You miss her a lot?”

“Yeah.”

“I miss her too. Were you two back-“

“Not really, I mean somewhat, in some ways. It was complicated.”

“Do you know,” the demon asked walking to where Spike was slumped on the floor, “what she did every day?”

“Watch Oprah?” Spike asked as very real feeling blood poured from his mouth.

“She went back into that bathroom and brushed her hair and teeth.”

“I’m sorry,” he said weakly.

“And do you know what she did every night?”

“Ba - back in the b-bathroom,” he sputtered.

“No. She fought a war she knew she couldn’t win just a surely as she knew she’d die trying,” the demon answered and with a flick of her wrist flung Spike against the ceiling. “And you have the audacity to claim you deserve to have your request granted?”

Spike fell back to the floor. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Spike muttered over and over.

“If you were allowed back you’d only make her miserable.”

“No.”

“You’d skulk around and keep her from moving on with her life.”

“Well maybe she shouldn’t move on,” Spike said, trying for bravado, but feeling increasingly hopeless.

The demon paced around him. “Please William, you and I both know that’s not true. She’d pity you. She’d feel grateful for your sacrifice. She’d feel obligated to you and you’d fall into your old patterns. Maybe she’d even convince herself that it was love. But it wouldn’t be real.”

Spike thought for a moment. The demon chick was right. Buffy didn’t need him. She finally had a chance at a normal life. Look at how happy she’d been with Nibblet. He could only screw that up.

“Fine then, I won’t go to her. I’ll stay away. I’ll help fight evil from a distance, I promise.”

“A promise from you? That’s funny. You’ll keep this promise? Like you kept your promise to protect Dawn? What about all those times you swore you’d never hurt Buffy?”

“No, I-“

“Silence,” the demon roared.

Spike started to protest but the demon seemed to have lost interest in him. She moved to the middle of the cave and looked up into the dark. Spike was struck by the sad beauty of her face. This powerful, solitary creature, radiating against the overwhelming darkness, she was so like Buffy that for a moment, despite the multiple broken bones, he felt for her.

Fred stepped out of the plane carrying Anya in a small bag at her side. She was so dazed by the throng of people that she walked right past the man holding a sign that read, “Mrs. Burkle.”

“Hmm, guess they couldn’t arrange a car,” she said looking down at Anya. “Oh well, the tube’ll be more fun anyway.”

‘Oh God,’ Anya thought. ‘It’s almost amazing how many ways this plan can go wrong.’

Roughly seven hours after they’d gotten off the plane Fred and Anya arrived at the new council headquarters. Fred was elated from the journey, babbling about the relative benefits of driving on the right as opposed to the left side of the road. Anya was terrified. She could hardly believe that they’d made it in one piece. She watched anxiously as Fred rang the doorbell, but there was no answer.

‘Oh, God,’ Anya thought. ‘Please let there be someone home, I can’t take another day with this girl.’

“Hmm, guess no one’s home,” Fred said jostling Anya as she shrugged her shoulders. “Luckily I know how to pick a lock,” she said kneeling down and pulling out some pins and a credit card.

Inside Xander and Dawn were playing Uno in the fort. At the sound of the muffled doorbell Xander looked up from his hand. “Did you hear something?” he asked.

“No, Dawn replied. “Should we investigate?”

“Naw,” he said, returning to the game.

Fred and Anya looked cautiously around the dark foyer.

“Hello?” Fred called. “Anybody home?”

“Yes,” Cynthia said and appeared before them.

“Oh my God,” Fred exclaimed stepping back. “What are you?”

“A ghost,” she replied.

“B-but you can’t be. I can see you. We could never see Dennis.”

“Who’s that? Another ghost?”

“Yes,” Fred said.

“Well he mustn’t be a very good one if he can’t even manifest visually.”

Fred couldn’t think of anything to say so she replied, “Oh,” and left it at that.

“Anyway, you’re trespassing and you’re annoying and you,” she said looking at Anya, “are not a rabbit. I’ll be turning you out now.”

Cynthia swept toward Fred and Anya, cackling all the way. Fred dropped the bag and ran. Anya took the opportunity to crawl out and to take off in the opposite direction.

As soon as they got home Willow and Buffy made a b-line for the kitchen and grabbed water bottles from the fridge.

“So you gonna see her again?” Buffy asked.

“I don’t know. I mean, I want to, but maybe it’s too soon. Anyway I have her number so I’ll think about it, maybe call tomorrow.”

“Well I think you should go for it, that girl was hot.”

“Buffy, thinking of switching teams?” Willow joked.

“What? I’m straight, not blind. Anyway did you see Faith? How many guys did she leave with?”

“Four, but I think she was only into the tall one.”

“Whatever,” Buffy said holding up her hands. “Not like I’m in any position to criticize other’s people’s kinks.”

“Speaking of, I noticed you didn’t dance much.”

“I tried, I did, I just…”

“I know. It takes time. After Tara…” Willow trailed off and looked down at her water bottle.

Buffy’s eyes welled up and her hands shook so bad she had to put down the water bottle.

“Shh, it’s ok,” Willow said and reached out to hug her. Buffy clung to her a moment then pulled away.

“I’m ok,” she said. “It’s just, it means a lot that you – that you compared Spike and me to you and Tara. Cause we were – I mean it was complicated but he meant a lot to me and I didn’t think anybody got that,” Buffy said wiping away the tears.

“I know,” Willow said. “I saw the way you looked at each other. I saw. Maybe I should have said something earlier. I just didn’t want to upset you.”

“I understand. Thanks.”

“Hey, how bout some ice cream?” Willow said cheerfully.

“Ice cream solves everything.”

“Darn tootin’,” Willow said turning to the cupboard. She opened one to look for bowls and out flew a fluffy white bunny.

“Ahhh God, get it off,” Willow cried spinning around with the rabbit firmly attached to her shoulder.

Buffy grabbed the bunny and plucked it off of Willow.

“What are you doing here?” she said looking at it.

Anya knew better than to try to communicate anymore so she settled for wiggling away and taking off down the hall in search of a computer.

Buffy was left empty handed and stunned. “How drunk are we?” she asked turning to the equally stunned Willow.

“Not that drunk,” Willow replied. “Should we follow it?”

“Ok, but we’re not eating any little cakes no matter how nicely they ask.”

They took off after the rabbit but hadn’t gotten far when they slammed into Fred.

“Fred,” Willow exclaimed.

“Willow, oh I am so glad to see you. Have you seen Anya?” Fred replied.

“Um I didn’t know you knew her,” Willow said trying to figure out how to break the news of her death.

“Oh we just met yesterday.”

“Oh,” Willow replied turning to Buffy.

“Um,” Buffy started. “Ok, first off who are you?”

“Oh, sorry,” Willow said. “This is Fred, she works for Angel.”

“Oh. Nice to meet you. And you’re looking for Anya?”

“Right, Wesley was supposed to call ahead but I guess maybe he couldn’t get a hold of you. See, Willow turned Anya into a bunny and I was supposed to bring her here to get turned back.”

“What? I didn’t. How could I? She’s dead,” Willow protested.

“Ok, we’ll deal with the morbid details later; first we have to find her,” Buffy said.

The three girls turned to leave but stopped short at the site of Xander standing in the hallway, slack jawed.

Buffy walked toward him. “Xander?”

“Alive.”

“Maybe, ok, maybe. I don’t want you to get your hopes up.”

“Right, that’s smart,” he said distantly.

“How about you let us work out what exactly is going on and we’ll let you know.”

“Ok, right,” he said still dazed and walked back the way he came.

Buffy looked back at Willow. Neither knew what to say.

They finally found Anya in the library, typing away at Willow’s laptop. Willow and Buffy, still not entirely sober were somewhat confused by the scene, but Fred took it in stride.

“There you are. You shouldn’t run off like that. Your little bunny body could get trampled.” Fred couldn’t be sure, but it seemed like Anya was glaring at her.

“Ok, Will, you’re gonna need to do that spell,” Buffy said.

“The unbunnifying spell?” Willow said, a little distracted by the hatred filled glare she was getting from the rabbit.

“No, the Turkish one, for things that can’t talk.”

“Right,” Willow said edging around the room to get supplies, keeping her eyes on Anya at all times.

“Speak,” Willow commanded as she finished the spell.

“-INCONSIDERATE, IRRESPONSIBLE, MAGIC JUNCKIE, COMMUNITST-“

“Anya, calm down we’re gonna fix this,” Buffy said suppressing the urge to pet Anya comfortingly.

“How?” Anya replied.

“We’re working on it.” Willow said. “I don’t even understand how this could have happened.”

“Isn’t it obvious? It’s another of your subconscious things, you resent me and it manifested in this,” Anya explained.

“But I don’t really think I resent you.”

“That’s what makes it subconscious,” Anya shrieked.

“Ok, how about we just entertain the possibility that Willow didn’t do it for a few minutes,” Buffy said. “What else could have caused this?”

“Only something very powerful,” Willow answered. “Turning something as complex as a person into an animal… Oh, oh Amy!”

“But what would Amy have against Anya?” Buffy asked.

“Good point,” Willow replied.

“What about D’Hoffryn?” Buffy offered. “He’s more than powerful and-“

“He still hates me,” Anya said quietly.

“Oh, so now we’re thinkin’ maybe it’s not Willow, maybe we should stop jumping to conclusions,” Willow said.

Anya grumbled in response.

“Right, so as I recall only a vengeance demon can undo their wish,” Buffy said. “Does that apply here?”

“Yes,” Anya answered. “It’s not something he wished for someone else but it’s still vengeance powered, even Willow won’t be able to break it."

“So we force him to undo it,” Buffy said.

“You’re no match for him,” Anya said.

“I just went up against the source of all evil. I’m not afraid of pimp daddy.”

“She’s right, a vengeance demon against a slayer,” Fred chimed in. “It’s like you’re Mr. Science and he’s Niels Bohr.”

Fred giggled and looked around. Buffy and Anya sort of smiled, while Willow laughed outright.

Buffy and Anya eyed at each other. “Right,” Buffy said. “Does he have a pendant I could smash?”

“Yes, but good luck getting it,” Anya replied.

“Um, hey,” a small voice said from the doorway.

“Dawn, how’s Xander?” Willow said turning away from Fred for the first time.

“He’s ok. He’s kinda in shock. Is that-?” she asked pointing at Anya.

“Hi Dawn, tell Xander I’m going to be fine, but keep him away, ok? I don’t want him to see me like this.”

“Ok, can I help with anything?”

“Well, we’re trying to get D’Hoffryn’s power center without getting turned into giant worms or incinerated, any ideas?” Buffy said.

“I’ll work on it,” Dawn said and went back to update Xander.

“I’ll try to find some counter spells, maybe something that can bind his power,” Willow said.

“Ok, Fred you help Willow, try calling the coven,” Buffy said. “Anya, let's talk vengeance demon weaknesses.”

“So what’ve you got for me?” Buffy asked as she walked up to the table where Dawn, Fred and Willow were pouring over books. It didn’t escape her notice that Fred and Willow were sitting much closer than was strictly necessary and that their knees rested against each other.

“Well the biggest problem seems to be his teleportation. Even if you get him on the ropes he can always zip out before you go for the pendant,” Willow said.

“Oh, hey you know how at Hogwarts no one can teleport?” Dawn said.

“No,” Buffy answered. “But go on.”

“Oh, good thinking,” Willow interrupted. “I’ve been looking for spells to limit him, but we could blanket the house instead.”

“Ok, get that spell up, Fred, Dawn collect the ingredients for the defensive spells, I’ll gather weapons. Will can I see you a minute?”

“Sure.” Willow and Buffy moved a ways away from the rest of the group.

“Things are going to get rough.”

“I know.”

“You don’t have to do this. I can manage.”

“No, I want to help. I want to do this for Xander, and for Anya.”

“Right,” Buffy replied. “Ok, here’s my idea….”

Ten minutes later they were all ready to go.

“Blessed be the name of D’Hoffryn,” Willow intoned.

The rest of them looked around anxiously as she completed the chant.

With a flash of light and smoke D’Hoffryn appeared before them.

“Well if it isn’t my old friend Ms. Rosenberg. How are you?”

“Good, thank you.”

“And Ms. Summers, congratulations on defeating the first. We all knew you could do it.”

“Really? I would have thought you were rooting for his team.”

“I never said we were pleased you could do it. Now, why have you called me here?”

“Did you turn Anya into a rabbit?”

D’Hoffryn turned his attention to Anya and replied, “Yes, brilliant punishment don’t you think?”

“Turn her back,” Buffy demanded.

“No,” D’Hoffryn answered as if it was the most absurd request he’d ever heard.

“Fine, then I’ll just smash your pendant and the spell will be undone,” Buffy said.

“I don’t think you want that.”

“Why?” Buffy asked warily.

“Undoing the spell means putting her back in her body at the moment of death. At least this way she lives.”

“Well I suggest you find a way of getting her back that doesn’t involve her death.”

“Such a thing would have a great price. Are you willing to pay?”

“I’m thinking no,” Buffy replied.

“Yes,” Willow said immediately after.

“What do you have to offer me?”

“Me.”

“No,” Buffy shouted.

“Stay out of this,” Willow replied.

“Will, you can’t do this-” Buffy began but within an instant she found herself pinned against the wall and unable to speak.

“This is between D’Hoffryn and me,” Willow said looking at him calmly.

“That’s quite an offer but how do I know you won’t betray me as Anyanka did?”

“You don’t.”

“You’re going to have to give me more than that.”

“Name it.”

“Your memories.”

“What? What memories?” Willow asked a little taken aback by his request.

“The memories of your sweetheart, I want them.”

“Why?”

“They keep you from your true nature. Her memory keeps you from your rage. With them you’ll never truly be a vengeance demon.”

Anya looked back and forth between them anxiously. This was too much. She didn’t want to go back if it meant Willow would have to give up so much.

Willow thought for a moment. “Deal.”

D’Hoffryn reached out and curled his fingers. It felt like the memories were being pulled from her. She could feel them go, one after the other. She tried to latch on, to feel them one last time, but they were gone too fast. And a moment later, she couldn’t remember why she had been so anxious.

D’Hoffryn smiled and reached into his robes and brought out a pendant. He went around behind Willow and draped the necklace against her skin. His nails lightly scratched her neck as he fastened the clasp.

As soon as the necklace was secured around her neck Willow was overcome by the feeling that she was being trapped, like a prison door was swinging closed on her. All at once the grief and pain and hatred and thirst for vengeance of everyone around her assaulted her senses. The strongest emotion was the closest, Anya’s.

“Now turn Anya back,” Willow demanded.

“You know, I rather prefer her this way, so much quieter.”

“You promised.”

“First lesson – never trust a vengeance demon.”

D’Hoffryn was preparing to teleport both he and Willow away when Anya cried out, “I wish myself human again and D’Hoffryn’s power extinguished.”

D’Hoffryn looked at her, shocked at her ability to speak. Surprise turned to horror as he realized what she’d done. He turned to Willow and grabbed for her pendant but it was too late.

“Wish granted,” Willow said with a smile.

In an instant Anya was transformed and D’Hoffryn was powerless. Willow felt the cage open and the thirst for vengeance recede.

“How? How is this possible?” he shouted.

“Anya wanted vengeance on you, Willow was a vengeance demon. You made the rules, you tell me,” Buffy said walking away from the wall.

“You tricked me!”

“Yes, it was very naughty of us,” Buffy replied.

“Now,” Anya said. “I know this’ll take some practice, what with the thousands of years of teleporting and all, but don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

“You’ll pay for this,” he replied and strode out of the room with as much dignity as he could muster.

Willow pulled her necklace off and gazed at it a little too wistfully. “I think I’ll keep it,” she said. “As a memento. Now, I can I be the one to tell Xander?”

“Sure,” Anya replied and Willow scampered off.

Buffy and Anya watched her go.

“You can only wish vengeance on your own behalf on someone you feel wronged by. I couldn’t wish her memories back, I’m sorry,” Anya said.

“I figured. And with D’Hoffryn powerless we have no way to get them back,” Buffy said.

“We can try the coven but I’m sure it’s hopeless. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know she’d have to give up so much. I wonder if she assumed I could…” Anya said.

“Don’t worry. It was her choice. I’m sure she knew what she was giving up. She knows better than anyone. Magic always has a price.”

Willow thought for a moment. She hadn’t anticipated this. The plan was to trick him into making her a vengeance demon, then as soon as Anya wished his power away she’d be free. But this, having to permanently give up her memories of Tara… she couldn’t think of anything worse. She knew it should have been a simple choice, memories or a life, no contest. But the thought of losing her again, for good this time, was too awful to bear. What would Tara think if she knew that Willow was considering giving her up? The answer came to her in a flash: Tara would be happy for Anya and Xander. She’d want Willow to do this.

“I agree with the witch sometimes,” Blue said. “Sometimes I think that the only way to save them is to end it. All they do is cause each other pain.” Blue turned back to face Spike. “I could end it you know, it’d hurt like hell, but I could do it. Sometimes the temptation is overwhelming,” she said as she walked around the cave. “I come so close… but then I see something amazing. My girls, enjoying some sort of joy amidst the cruelty that’s been thrust upon them. A vampire sacrificing herself for her child,” she said as she bent down to where Spike was lying on the floor. “A thing of evil,” she said into his ear, “wanting so badly to be good. You give me hope,” she said pausing to appraise him. “How could I deny you anything?” she finished and placed her hand on his chest.

The pain eased and he was filled with warmth. The light blinded him again and the cave and demon disappeared.

An hour later the gang was reunited in the library. Xander and Anya were exchanging awkward glances and Willow was beaming at them, so happy to have helped.

“Ok, Will, there’s something we need to talk about,” Buffy began.

“Ok, what?”

“You made a deal with D’Hoffryn.”

“Right, I’d be a Vengeance demon if he put Anya back.”

“But there was more, he made you give up some memories.”

“Of what?” Willow asked, furrowing her brow.

“Here,” Xander said holding out a wallet sized photo of Willow and Tara in their bride’s maid dresses. “This Tara, she was your first girlfriend.”

“Oh,” Willow said calmly.

“You met at Wicca group at UC Sunnydale. She helped you get away from the gentlemen,” Dawn said.

“I don’t remember,” Willow said shaking her head and getting a little distraught. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, but don’t worry we’re gonna fill in the memories, ok? Everything down to the shoes you wore,” Buffy said.

“You remember what shoes we wore?” Willow asked, momentarily distracted from her confusion.

“I’m Buffy,” Buffy replied with a shrug.

“Ok,” Willow said taking a deep breath and looking down at the picture again. “Wow those where hideous,” she said picking up the photo to examine it closer, “and who’s the hottie standing next to me?” she said looking around at the group.

No one met her gaze. They looked at each other and down at the table.

“She’s-,” Anya finally began, her throat tightening. “She’s a friend of mine from my vengeance days. No one you know.”