Part III – Shopping

She sighed in relief as she stepped out of the DoubleMeat Palace. The greasy scent of over grilled meat and melted cheese refused to stay behind and clung to every inch of her tired body. Sluggishly, she dragged her feet and leaned on the corner, a tall, skinny brunette following her close behind.

“Thank God for these breaks. I don’t think my body could handle another second without a major dose of nicotine!”

Her trembling fingers dug anxiously into her pockets and relief washed over the girl as they found a pack of cigarettes on one side and a lighter on the other. Hastily, she opened the red and white pack and brought a perfect cylinder to her deprived lips. Lighting it up, her mouth pulled at the small burning cigarette, her cheeks hollowing as she sucked the deadly smoke into her lungs. After what seemed like and eternity, Buffy saw two tubes of grey fog shoot out from her dilated nostrils as she exhaled noisily.

“Ah… I really needed that.” The girl’s eyes finally opened to look at the frowning blond that stared at her.

“You know those things will kill you, right?” Buffy asked.

All she got was a deadly look from the tall brunette. Shaking her head, Buffy’s interest returned to her white snickers.

“Just checking.”

“So, just one more hour to go and we are home free.” The brunette noted as her gaze hovered over the cars in the parking lot of the fast food establishment.

“I can’t wait to get out of here. I think I’m getting allergic to cheese.” Buffy protested under her breath.

“We all get that, honey. It’s the two month syndrome. You’ll get over it.”

Buffy simply smiled. Her hands ran through her dishevelled hair and came to rest on her face.

“I’m just really tired, Lisa.” The petite blond explained.

“I know what you mean. But it gets easier with time. Trust me.” Lisa tried to reassure her.

Buffy’s fingers rubbed her sour eyes before they fell to her sides and found their way back into her pockets. Suddenly, a strange sound, coming from the back alley, caught the taller girl’s attention. It sounded like a muffled moan.

“What was that?” Lisa asked as made her way towards the darker corner of the DoubleMeat Palace; Buffy remained in her place, shuffling her feet, uninterested in the occurrence. “Oh my God! Buffy come quickly!” the tall girl called out, her hand waving at the Slayer, trying to get her over there as fast as possible.

“What is it?” Buffy asked not moving an inch from her spot, simply turning to look at Lisa.

“Someone is having sex back there.” The girl giggled nervously, trying to keep her voice down so that the couple that moved sluggishly against the back wall of the DoubleMeat Palace didn’t notice her.

“What do you mean someone’s having sex back there?” Buffy asked, this time she started walking towards her friend.

She gasped and felt her stomach twist in a painful way as she recognized the long black duster that moved sensually, in the darkness, against the wall. Pale, small hands caressed his back, one tangled in his platinum hair, pulling at it vigorously, encouraging him. Over the muffled moans and cries of pleasure she was able to filter out her friend’s voice:

“I mean ‘someone’s have scorching hot, wild sex against a wall’.” A mischievous smile crawled over Lisa’s mouth, never noticing the painful look on her co-worker’s face.

Buffy felt as if the ground had been pulled out from underneath her feet. Her throat started to close off and suddenly she couldn’t breathe. She swallowed hard, trying to push down the acid vomit that now crept up from her stomach. Soon, dizziness struck her, her gaze still fixed on the passionate couple started to lose focus and, unexpectedly, the blackness that now swam in the corners of her eyes took over and she was engulfed in a total darkness.

~*~

“Buffy… Buffy…” she heard her name being called in the distance. Slowly, she became more and more aware of her surroundings. She was laying on something hard and cold. She forced her eyelids open and was greeted by Lisa’s skinny face. “Thank, God! Are you ok?”

“What happened?” Buffy forced the words out; the taste of acid still in her mouth.

“I don’t know. One minute we were watching the x-rated movie going on in the back, the next you we’re laying flat on the floor.” Seeing the young girl’s confused expression, Lisa simplified. “You fainted.”

Slowly, Buffy pulled herself off the cement floor, into the sitting position and was greeted by a major migraine.

“Oh… I think my head’s going to explode.” Buffy moaned in pain.

“It’s ok. Let’s just get you inside. I’ll get you an aspirin.” Lisa offered as she pulled the short blond to her feet.

Out of the corner of her eye, Buffy looked towards the dark ally she had been staring into a few moments before – there was no one there.

~*~

“Finally!!!” the auburn-haired woman breathed as she stepped out of the sewer pipe. She looked down at her feet and made a painful face: “Great! Those are ruined.”

“Will you stop complaining?” Spike hissed annoyed. He was having a really bad day and the last two hours he had just spent in the sewers with miss ‘I like to talk and bicker non stop’ hadn’t helped any. He was really beginning to hate this woman.

“Ah! Civilization!!!” the woman cried out over-excitedly, running towards the large building and gluing herself against one of its tall walls, as if trying to hug it. An avalanche of small pecks over the white paint soon followed.

“Stop doing that, people are staring!” the vampire complained.

The woman let go of the object of her affection and turned to face him.

“Actually they are staring at you. They can’t see me, remember? All they see is you talking to a wall.” She said walking past him and into the department store with a triumphant smile.

Spike reluctantly followed, shoving his hands into his duster, looking around and noticing that in fact he was the object of everyone’s attention.

They walked around for what seemed like an eternity. Spike could have sworn he had never seen so many beds in one day.

“It’s just a bed, will you just pick on already?” he hissed in annoyance, anger slowly creeping up behind it.

“It’s not just a bed. You may be able to sleep on anything, but I can’t. I’m special and so too will my bed be.” She held her chin up as she resumed walking.

“What about that one?” Spike asked pointing toward a large metallic master bed.

“You’re kidding, right?” She looked at him with disbelief in her raven eyes.

“What’s wrong with it? It’s big, I thought you liked big beds.” He shrugged, confused. For the last hour, one of the many faults she found in all the beds in that store’s was its “minuscule size”, as she put it. Well, that one was probably the biggest bed he had ever seen.

“It’s a big prison, that’s what it is. I mean, I can deal with a headboard, even though I’m not really a fan, but why would anyone put this… this…” she thought of the right words as she stared at the panel that framed the edge of the bed. “This… metal… *wall* at the foot of the bed. Might as well put two large barred walls on each side of the bed while they were at it, make a giant cradle. Plus, my feet would constantly be hitting this… thing.” She said pointing at the offending item.

“I don’t think you’re feet would reach the edge of the bed, luv. You’re not exactly tall.” Spike jibed with a smirk.

She immediately turned on her heels and faced him.

“Are you calling me short?” she snorted with a deadly look that actually had Spike a little worried.

“Ok, I can tell height is a sensitive issue for you.” He bowed his head, to hide his smile, as he walked past her.

After another half and hour, Spike had already given up. He remained seated on a large loveseat on display, staring blindly at the ceiling, cursing under his breath. From the corner of his eyes he could see three women in uniform (obviously they worked there) staring at him as they gossiped amongst themselves. He could easily tell the topic of conversation – who was going to be the lucky one to tell the madman he couldn’t sit on the displayed items. There was no volunteer. He was snapped out of his thoughts by a light kick in the shin.

“Hey!” he protested to thin air and he was able to hear one of the ladies say:

“See! There! I told you. He’s doing it again, he’s talking to himself. I think we should call-“ She trailed off as she saw the man standing up, still talking to no one in particular. “Oh, my God, he’s coming this way!!!”

“I found the bed.” The woman who had just kicked him in the shin announced, ignoring his protest.

“Finally.” He breathed. “Well, now that you’ve found it how do you expect to pay for it.” He asked annoyed, never leaving the seat.

“With money.” She nodded with a smile, walking past him and towards the small group of women that gossiped in the corner of the store.

“What money?” he asked confused as he followed her.

“The money you have in your pocket.” She explained never looking behind.

“What-“ he stopped in mid sentence as he shoved his hand into the pockets of his duster and found a hand full of paper. Pulling it out, he recognized it as being a large bundle of 100 dollar bills.

When he looked up at her, he found her standing next to the three, now terrified, women. She winked at him and whispered:

“I’ll tell you about it later. Just pay for it. I’m hungry.” She pouted and walked away.

She leaned on the cash register, her hands crossed over her chest. A smile crept over her lips as she saw the fear in the woman’s eyes as she received the money from Spike’s hands.

~*~

Dawn, Willow and Buffy walked mindlessly trough the large corridors, every once in a while picking something from off the shelves and dropping it into the cart they pushed effortlessly around.

Dawn stopped in front of a display and finally picked one she liked best and dropped it into the cart. Looking over her shoulder, Buffy turned around, picked up the box her sister had just chosen and put it back in its place.

“Buffy?” Dawn asked confused.

“You can’t have those.” Buffy said dryly, pushing the cart and leaving a stunned Willow and Dawn behind.

“But we always have Pop Tarts.” The young teenager argued.

Buffy turned around and said with a deadly look in her eyes.

“Not anymore.” Her voice was low and serious. Without another word she started walking away.

Dawn remained glued to the floor, but thought it was in her best interest not to protest.

“What happened to her?” Willow asked.

“I don’t know. But she’s been like that ever since she got back from the DoubleMeat.” Dawn explained with a pout as she followed her sister.

~*~

A loud booming voice echoed in the building sending chills down her spine.

“Clean up on isle 3. Clean up on isle 3.”

“How many times can they call out for clean up?” the redhead asked herself out loud as she looked at the wall of shelves in front of her.

“Remind me again why we are at the supermarket?” the vampire’s voice came out dry as he mindlessly pushed the metallic cart through the long corridor. “I thought we were just going to buy you a bed.”

“We were.” She quipped with a peppy grin. “But I need to get some food into my system. Oh, oh, oh, chocolate!!!!” she stared at the selection of bars in front of her with a childlike awe. “Don’t you just love chocolate? I mean look at all the choices you have. You have sweet white chocolate, bitter black chocolate, normal brown chocolate, nuts & chocolate, hazelnuts & chocolate, peanuts & chocolate, walnut & chocolate…” she went on and on naming all the varieties, when suddenly her face cringed up. “Raisins & chocolate?! Now that’s just wrong. There should be a law against misuse of perfectly wonderful chocolate.”

“What are you talking about? It’s chocolate, for Christ sake.” Spike swore annoyed at her constant babbling. She had a knack of rambling on and on about the most mundane of issues. It was just uncanny and extremely nerve-wracking.

“It’s not just chocolate…” suddenly a light bulb seemed to flicker on in her mind. “You died before ever tasting real chocolate and now you can’t actually taste it because of the whole vampire thing.”

“What…? Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked.

“Like what?”

“Like I’m Timmy and I’m stuck down a bloody well.” The vampire illustrated his point by mimicking her pout and her sad frown.

“It’s just sad that’s all.” She spoke, the pout never leaving her mouth.

“Wait a second!” he closed his eyes for a second, and shook his head before looking at her. “Today you found out I was dumped by my crazy sire slash girlfriend for a chaos demon, only to fall in love with my mortal enemy, who hates me, by the way. Get tortured to death and back by a goddess, with a serious Marquis du Sade complex, trying to save her and even so having to watch her jump to her death and spend a whole summer driving myself crazy thinking of all the ways I could have saved the *one* which I now truly believe to be the most important person in my life. Then, I was lucky enough to have her back and actually like me, use me as her own private sex toy just to throw me away the minute her ex came poncing into town and you feel sorry for me because I can’t taste chocolate properly?” His facial expression was of total disbelief.

She tilted her head and with a sorry look she simply shrugged: “It’s chocolate.”

They continued to wander through the endless corridors, their cart stocked up with junk food.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… Don’t you eat anything healthy?” Spike asked as he saw her put three cups of Strawberry and Cheese ice-cream in the cart.

“It’s got cheese. It’s healthy enough.” She answered, her eyes hovering over the display of a variety of extra fattening food.

Spike eyes drifted from the sugar and fat packed cart to the young woman’s lean form. How could she eat like a man who weighs 1000 pounds and look like that. She wore the same baggy pants and red shirt he had seen her with the first time, they concealed the shape of her body, but he could still tell she was pretty fit.

“What are you looking at?” she asked, her eyes never leaving the shelves.

“Don’t you have any other clothes?” he questioned.

“No. But we’ll fix that. Just as soon as we finish buying food.” She set her mouth in a straight line and picked up three large bags of fries.

She gave him a small smile and walked away leaving him to push the cart. As they came to a corner, a loud noise was heard as Spike’s cart crashed into someone else’s. His eyes widened as he recognized the blond.

~*~

“Do you think something happened at the DoubleMeat?” Willow asked.

“I don’t know and I don’t think I wanna find out.” Dawn said with frightened look as she saw her sister ram into someone else’s cart.

Buffy immediately jumped to attack who ever had crashed into her, anger boiling inside of her. She came to a freezing stop as she saw him. Flashes of what she had just seen a few hours before taunting her mind as she saw the duster he was wearing. The anger grew three fold inside of her and she clenched her teeth to control herself. Her mind raced as she tried to decide between making a huge scandal or pretending she hadn’t see him hump some disgusting ho against a wall. She decided for the latter. She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowing she had seen that freak show.

“Spike.” She greeted tilting her head.

“Slayer.” He greeted back.

“Oh, the girlfriend’s back.” The auburn haired woman smiled, crossing her arms over her chest. “This should be interesting.”

Buffy’s gaze drifted towards the vampire’s cart.

“I seen you’ve taken up eating healthy food.” She said sarcastically.

“You know me.” He shrugged as his fingers fidgeted nervously in his pockets.

“Maybe I don’t.” She began to snap, thankfully, Willow and Dawn came up behind her and greeted the vampire.

“Spike, what are you doing here?” Dawn asked surprised, giving him a huge grin.

“Just shopping.”

The young girl looked at what he was planning on buying and saw a familiar box in the middle of all the pilled up items.

“I see you get to have Pop Tarts. Buffy won’t let me.” She whined as she began to look through his shopping, she frowned as she saw a pair of pantyhose. She pulled them up and dangled them in front of her face. “Hum… Spike? What do you want these for?” she asked confused.

“Hum… I-I….” the vampire stuttered incoherently.

“Try and explain that one, Toto.” The woman next to him mocked and he gave her a deadly look. “Just admit that you have a bit of a cross dresser in you.” She winked at him, but as the clear image of her being chopped into pieces flickered in her mind she decided it was best to just sit back and watch.

“I-I…” he continued.

Thankfully, Buffy came to his aid:

“You shouldn’t ask people such personal stuff. Now, go with Willow and see if you can find some milk.”

“We already have milk, Buffy.” Dawn noted, pointing at the white cartons in their cart.

“Dawn! Just go!” she ordered. In seconds the witch and the young girl were gone.

“Look, about the pantyhose, I can-“ the vampire tried to explain but was cut off.

“I don’t care what you do with your free time, or who you spent it with, just stay away form me and mine. Is that clear!” she said with an icy look.

“What did I do now?” the vampire asked confused.

“I don’t know why, but I think I like her… She’s got… spunk!” the redhead said with a smirk on her face.

“I find out that you’ve been doing anything wrong? You’re dust.” She threatened before walking away and leaving him glued to the floor with his mouth gapping open.

“Oh, now I just know I like her!” the woman next to him added, but soon shut up when she saw the look on the vampire’s face.

Part IV – Human

She dragged her feet lazily across the damp crypt floor, rubbing her eyes with one hand while the other searched out for the handle of the trapdoor above her. Eventually, she found it, pushing it open she climbed onto the top floor. Her long dishevelled hair fell down her back in paper curls; shades of brown and red shone from it as she moved into the light. Ignoring the sleeping vampire on top of the sarcophagus, she moved across the room, towards the door, pushing it open just enough so a few rains of sun filtered into the room. She stood there for a second, peeking trough the small opening. Her black eyes then drifted from the green grass outside to the sleeping form of the vampire. A smirk brushed over her lips as she noticed his chest – rising and falling at a slow, steady pace under the thin sheet. “Old habits die hard…” she wondered for a second, then she shook her head and, after closing the door, reached for the elastic band tied around her bony wrist and pulled it around her huge mass of hair to keep it in a large bundle on the back of her head. Inevitably, a few stubborn strands refused to obey her, escaping to fall along the side of her face.

“Ok, time for the wake up call.” She said to herself as she moved across the room back to the sarcophagus. She was about to reach for him when an image flashed in front of her eyes and she couldn’t help the smile on her face. “God, he thinks about her 24/7.” She mumbled in a low voice. She shook her head once more, straightening her shirt before she woke him. Suddenly, she stopped herself as the memory of two long hours slopping through the sewers came to her. Immediately, she retracted her hands, stepping away from the vampire. “He is sleeping so soundly… I don’t think it would be fair to wake him up for another day of shopping.” She tried to convince herself, but the voice in the back of her head told her she was just trying to avoid another journey ‘down below’. “Ah, come one. It’s just for a couple of hours. Not like he’s going anywhere…” she heard her little voice protest. “They’ll never know, and nothing will happen! Now, let’s go get some decent clothes.” A satisfied grin spread across her lips as she marched towards the door and exited the crypt.

~*~

A loud thumping sound, coming from the back room of the Magic Box, invaded the shop and a frown took over Anya’s eyebrows as she saw another customer walk out the door. With energetic, duck like steps, she crossed the room and violently pulled at Xander’s sleeve. The moment the boy turned to see her pout and wrinkly forehead he knew there was trouble on the horizon.

“Tell Buffy to stop making so much noise back there. She is scaring away the money.” She protested.

“Scaring the money?”

“The costumers!” she breathed heavily.

“Oh. I’ll go and talk to her.” Xander offered, but there was a hint of fear in his voice. He had seen Buffy this way before and didn’t really enjoy the idea of busting in on one of her ‘kill the punching bag’ sessions, especially since he remembered what it felt like being the punching bag. Reluctantly, he made his way towards the training room, leaving behind a more relaxed Anya.

She immediately jumped to attention as she heard the delightful ringing noise and turned to see a young woman walk into the shop. She wore a large shirt over dusty old denims – a hint that she didn’t have a lot of money to spend. Even so, Anya wasn’t fooled by the first impression and the smile on her face widened as she noticed the mountain of bags the woman carried with her. She had learned in her short time as a shop owner that bags equalled people that spend money, which was always a wonderful sign. Quickly, she made her way towards the woman, noting the interest with which she looked at the displayed items. A huge grin graced Anya’s lips as she spoke:

“Welcome to the Magic Box! May I help you?”

The woman turned to face the ex-demon and immediately gave her a soft smile.

“Sure, I’m looking for some of those incense sticks you burn to get the house to smell better, you know? Oh, and candles, well basically anything that will give out a pleasant aroma.” The woman explained.

“Well, we’ve got a large variety of those.” Anya explained, signalling the short auburn haired woman to follow her.

As they moved, the pounding sound returned and Anya rolled her eyes in anger, grinding her teeth together. She relaxed a little when she realised the woman remained unaltered by the strange noises coming from the back.

~*~

She walked after the shopkeeper, her eyes drifting over the various items in the room. The smell of old books found its way to her nose and she breathed in the familiar aroma. Suddenly, the image of a woman strangling a petite blond flashed before her eyes. She looked around and realised it had come from the friendly shopkeeper that was now showing her the variety of scents the incense came in. She frowned as she recognised that the woman being choked as the object of Spike’s undying affection, but her eyes never left the candles and incense in front of her. Slowly, the first image blurred and was replaced by the very recognizable symbol of US dollars. She was snapped out of her thoughts as she heard a man walk into the room, coming from a door at the back of the store. He moved quickly towards the shopkeeper and pulled her aside. He started whispering something to the woman, who apparently wasn’t able to grasp the concept of whispering and started talking loud enough for her to hear:

“I don’t care if she is our friend or if she has issues. She is scaring off paying customers! Tell her to go have issues somewhere else!” the feisty woman protested, turning on her heels and walking back to her. A huge plastic smile took over her mouth and she returned to the normal customer/salesperson chitchat as if nothing had happen.

The redhead woman smiled and sighed in relief when she realised she wasn’t going to have to beat this nice woman to a pulp, now that she knew the Slayer was not in any danger. She was actually kind of fond of the saleswoman; she was just so… unusual.

~*~

She pushed the door open with effort as the deluge of bags she carried seemed intent on burying her on the spot. The moment she was inside, she flopped on the cold cement floor; her breath coming in harsh and loud gasps.

“Man, it really sucks being human, no wonder I forgot about it.” She managed to grumble to herself as she remained motionless, sitting on the floor, leaning on the piled up bags around her.

After a while, she opened her eyes and scanned the room. Between the sacks, she was able to see the vampire laying on the tomb, sleeping.

“You’re still sleeping?” she shouted from between the black, white, blue, paper and plastic bags.

“Hum…” Spike mumbled in his sleep.

“Oh, for the love of…” she mumbled. Taking a deep breath and covering her ears she opened her mouth and let out the loudest, eardrum-splitting scream Spike had ever heard.

In a blink of an eye he was up. Sitting on the sarcophagus, his fists clutching the sheet around him as his head moved frenetically around, looking for the source of such an ungodly scream. After a few seconds he noticed a hand waving from under a pile of shopping bags.

“Little help, please?” she called out.

Recognizing the voice, he rolled his eyes and collapsed back on the sarcophagus, intent on ignoring the annoying woman.

“You don’t get your bony butt off that tomb and come and help me I’ll scream my lungs off again!” she warned with a threatening tone.

Spike groaned and reluctantly stood up and walked towards the woman, pushing away the various bags until he dug her out of there. She was laying on the floor, clearly exhausted, eyes closed, arms and legs sprawled as she enjoyed the cold the floor was giving off.

The vampire shrugged and began looking through her shopping.

“You decided to buy the entire town?” he asked.

“Just the essentials.” She quipped as she dragged herself back to her feet.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to leave me. Not even for a second.” He mocked as he pulled out a long nightgown. It remained him of the clothes Drusilla used to wear.

“I didn’t want to spend the entire day walking through the sewers, thank you.” She spat out, grabbing the dress from his hands and stuffing it into the bag.

He was about to say something when it hit him:

“How did you do this?” he asked pointing at all the shopping.

“With mo-ney.” She worded out every syllable as if she was speaking to a mentally challenged person. “Do we have to go through that part again?”

He gave her a forced grin, which crumbled in seconds, and elaborated:

“How did you do it if people couldn’t see you?”

“They could see me.” She answered with a shrug as she made her way downstairs, bringing a few bags with her.

Spike rolled his eyes as he followed her. It was just amazing how he had to drag everything out of her.

“I thought no one could see you but me.”

“Well, they couldn’t. But now they can.” She said, not paying attention to him as she went back upstairs and started dragging more of her shopping back downstairs. Something about the way she moved showed him the issue at hand wasn’t as unimportant as she tried to make it seem.

Spike growled and instinctively grabbed her forearm as he tried to still her. God, that woman moved like rat on ecstasy. He gasped as he realised his hands didn’t go through her like the other time. Instead, he was able to get a strong grip on her. His eyes widened even further as his long fingers finally picked up the unmistakable steady hammering of a pulse. He stared at her, in awe.

“H-how?” the shock causing him to stutter.

She breathed in deeply, contemplating how to explain this to him. She closed her eyes for a second as her free hand came to rest on the bridge of her nose. After a long pause she looked at him and, taking a deep breath, she simply said:

“It’s hard to explain.”

He stood there, not moving an inch.

“I can do a lot of things.” She began. “But most of them only when I’m… in a different… plane.” Her eyebrows came together to form a small frown as she tilted her head to see if he was following her. He nodded and she proceeded: “When I’m in… that level, other people, besides you” she pointed at him. “can’t see me, and that’s when I can help you, understand?” he nodded again and she continued: “Now, in order to be seen… by others and buy all this stuff” she waved her hand over the bags that covered the floor. “I have to become… human.”

“You still haven’t explained to me how.” He said in a low voice.

“It’s just complicated. All I can say is ‘you’ll figure it out in time’, till then I can’t tell you anything.” She gave him a sympathetic look before untangling herself from his grip and returning to her shopping.

~**~

Dawn trotted into the Magic Box with a huge grin, but as soon as she heard the muffled groans along with the relentless thumping coming from the back room, it crumbled.

“What happened?” she asked, trying hard not to roll her eyes.

“As far as we know? Nothing.” Xander explained, his eyes never leaving the pile of cards in front of him. Apparently, he was trying to keep himself calm by building a castle out of tarot cards.

Dawn flopped onto one of the chairs and sighed loudly.

“Where’s Anya?” she asked as she looked around.

“In the basement. She decided to do some stock piling considering she wasn’t going to make another sale for the rest of the day.” The young man’s hands trembled as he added another two cards to the relatively tall paper building.

“Is she mad?” Dawn asked, knowing how angry the ex-demon got whenever Buffy’s intense training sessions scared away paying customers.

“Not really.” Xander grinded his teeth as his creation crumbled to pieces for the 100^th time that afternoon.

“How come?” the teenager frowned curious as to the shopkeeper’s odd behaviour.

“Apparently, she made this big sale today.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, some woman. Came in to buy a few candles and ended up buying like the whole store.” Xander continued to explain as he returned to his task of building a castle, this time it crumbled before he even had four pieces together. He sighed, frustrated but stubbornly restarted.

“Don’t you get tired of that?” Dawn finally asked, after she had seen him fail a couple of times.

Xander shrugged: “It’s Saturday. There is nothing to do.” The young man turned to see a very cheerful Willow walk into the shop. “Hey, Wills!” he greeted.

“Hey, Xander! Hi, Dawn!” she returned the pleasantries and took her seat next to Dawn.

“You’re in a very good mood today.” The teenager asked.

“You’re… glowing.” Xander added.

“You think?” the Wicca asked, the huge grin never leaving her lips. “It’s just that I saw Tara today.” She tried to speak calmly, but the way her heart jumped to her throat at the mere mention of her ex-lover’s name she wasn’t able to contain herself and began to giggle while she spoke. “She said she might go to the Bronze later tonight.” She shifted in her seat nervously. “You guys wanna come?” Her eyes begged them to say yes.

“I don’t know. Have to ask the Mrs.” Xander answered truthfully, but knowing Anya and the good mood she was in he was sure that she would say yes.

Willow’s gaze drifted towards the young girl sitting next to her.

“I don’t know. Have to ask the Mrs.” Dawn tilted her head towards the training room and then added: “The way those punches are rolling back there, I’d say the chances of her saying yes are about….. zero.” And with that she crossed her arms over her chest and pouted.

Willow gave her a sympathetic smile and patted her on the arm reassuringly as she spoke:

“I’ll go in there and talk to her, you never know, maybe her mood might change.” The Wicca shrugged and stood up, walking towards the back door.

“Good luck!” Xander bellowed, a shudder running down his spine as he remembered what he had already suffered that afternoon.

~*~

“Who does that disgusting… little stupid… dead… t-thing think he is? Coming to MY workplace, to…to bone some skanky ho of his.”  Buffy thought as her punches grew in intensity every time that scene flashed before her eyes; the way his body moved, the way she moaned. “Stupid bitch.” She said out loud not realising Willow was now standing next to her.

“Buffy?” The Wicca asked confused, not knowing if the insult was directed at her.

At the sound of her name, she stopped and turned around to meet a very flushed Willow.

“Oh, Willow! I’m sorry, I wasn’t… Just picturing my opponent. You know… training stuff. Keeping the stamina up.”

“Oh, I think you’ve got enough stamina as it is. You’re stamina packed.” Willow followed the petite blond as she moved around the mattress.

Buffy sat down and began her stretching exercises.

“I’m just a little on edge, that’s all.” She tried to dismiss the subject. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine. You haven’t been for a while now. You don’t want to tell me, that’s fine.” Buffy could see the hurt in redhead’s eyes as she spoke. “I respect that. But at least don’t let it eat at you like that. If someone’s bothering you-”

“No one’s bothering me.” Buffy spoke quickly, denying that anyone, especially any vampire, was responsible for her altered behaviour.

“Ok. But, whatever is making you… stamina packed, well… you should face it. Work to solve your issues. It’s not fair to let it eat at you and trouble you like that.” Willow spoke softly, for a second, she felt like a teen psychologist and Buffy was the reluctant patient who refused to accept she had a problem.

The small blond froze for a while as she contemplated the redhead’s wise words.

“She’s right I shouldn’t let a disgusting creature like Spike get to me. He’s not worth it. He wants to hump skinny little skanks against a wall, let him do it, see if I care.” Her inner monologue served to boost her moral and suddenly, she was on her feet, a satisfied smile on her lips.

“You’re right, I shouldn’t let some vam-“ she stopped herself and rephrased: “some…. Whatever” she said as she remembered Willow’s own words and used them to her advantage. “make me… stamina packed. And there is only one way to unpack it… Heavy partying!”

A grin spread over Willow’s lips as she saw her best friend’s mood swing. She couldn’t help but giggled at the way the two of them were in sink right now.

“So what do you say… Up for some bronzing?” Willow asked.

“Let’s Bronze!” Buffy said with a peppy smile, then she realised. “Oh… I’ve got to patrol first, though.” She paused for a second then added: “No problem, you guys can go on ahead and I’ll meet you there later. Deal?”

“Deal!”

~*~

“Fangy, will you explain to me why we are roaming a deserted graveyard?” the auburn haired woman asked as she dragged her feet along the grass, leaving deep tracks behind her.

“I’m fight parched. I need a refill.” He frowned as he realise he was using Buffy speak now. God, that girl just wouldn’t let his thoughts be would she.

“Ok, if you wanna lie… At least have the decency not to picture your very likely encounter with her.” She mumbled under breath.

“Hey! I thought you only had your powers when you were… on another level.” Spike protested, stopping dead in his tracks.

“I said most of my powers. This one is always with me. It’s kinda like a curse, especially when I have to baby-sit a vampire with a major crush on the Slayer.” She groaned as she continued walking, leaving him behind. “Plus, I don’t think I need special powers to see that one. I mean, it’s nigh time, we’re in a cemetery, who are we most likely to find besides newborn vampires? You don’t even need Sherlock Holmes’ reasoning abilities to figure that one out.” 

“Fine, so I’m looking for her. Is that a crime?” he asked defensively as he fell into step with her.

“No. Not at all. Just don’t like you to think I’m that dumb that’s all.” suddenly she wasn’t able to speak as she felt the vampire’s cold hand come to cover her mouth.

“She’s here.” He looked wildly around and then pointing at a bush near by ordered: “Hide there.”

“You want me to crawl into that bush and stay there while you make moon eyes at her? Are you out of your tiny little mind fangy?” the redhead asked in disbelief.

The vampire sighed at the sound of his new nickname and decided to counterattack:

“Come on, freckles. It’s just a favour. I’m asking.” Spike looked at her with pleading eyes.

“Freckles?” Her hand came to rest self-consciously on her nose over the small brown spots that paved her perfectly white completion. She looked up with a pout and a frown as the vampire gave her his best ‘innocent schoolboy’ look. ”Oh, ok. Fine!” she sighed rolling her eyes as she agreed, but not before making her discontent evident by her extreme sulk and the way she dug her feet into the ground as she made her way towards the bush.

Just as she kneeled and fell out of sight, from behind a tree, the small blond appeared.

“Slayer!” Spike greeted with fake surprise.

“Spike…” she mumbled under her breath, intent on ignoring the annoying vampire as she passed by him without even giving him a glance.

“Is that the way to greet an old boyfriend?”

That simple statement had the blood in her veins boil up. In seconds, she whirled around and with her chin raised high, gazed at the vampire with deadly eyes.

“You were NEVER my boyfriend!” She spat out the words, sadistic satisfaction washing over her when she saw a hint of pain flash in his blue orbs. ‘If you had been my boyfriend you wouldn’t have gone around humping some dumb ho against a wall!’ she thought, but instead simply said: “You NEVER will be. Get that through your thick skull. No matter what you do, or should I say - who you do - I won’t change my mind.” Her brain raced as the images that had haunted her the past days sprung to mind. The pictures cut into her and she wanted to hurt him as much as he had her. She imagined herself dancing teasingly against some guy at the Bronze while he watched in the darkness. That single picture served to dull the pain in her. “You’re a pig Spike and I hate you. I don’t, I will NEVER, love YOU.” And with that she turned on her heels and left him there, every single word seeping into him, pulling at him; a gut-wrenching pain running inside of him, dilacerating everything in its track.

It took a few seconds for him to realise that his strange roommate now stood next to him. He looked into her raven eyes and found something he hadn’t seen yet - empathy. As the pain washed away, anger and humiliation took over and with a hoarse voice he growled under his breath:

“Don’t say anything.”

~*~

She turned in her bed as Spike’s thought’s flashed in front of her eyes. A mixture of pain and hatred brew in her as she thought of all he had gone through for that girl.

“Stubborn little…” she murmured to herself.

The worst was the images she had gotten from her the few times she had seen her. She couldn’t really understand them. Sometimes it was clear she felt something for the vampire who was now torturing his and her mind upstairs, but others… Like just a few moments before, she had had the clear image of Spike, his back turned to her. Somehow, that single image instilled more anger and hatred in the short girl than any other she had captured from the vampire. Slowly, she forced her mind to remember more details of it and then she saw it… a small feminine hand curling its fingers around short platinum hairs. As she joined the series of images together she got the unmistakable movement of two bodies grinding against each other; the smaller one’s identity concealed behind Spike’s broad shoulders.

“She was jealous…” As realisation hit her, a mischievous grin took over her pale lips. Maybe there was something there she could work with. Her mind raced as she quickly sketched out a plan. Suddenly, her smile crumbled. “I can’t interfere.” She remembered. “It’s not fair…” she sulked as yet another inner conflict grew inside of her. “I mean, the guy’s up there grilling himself and *me* with images of her and I can’t do anything about it.” She crossed her arms around herself and remained perfectly still for a few seconds. Soon, her Eureka moment struck and she was sitting on the bed. “I can’t interfere using my powers. And I won’t use my powers, I’ll just use good old fashion jealousy…” her lips pulled sideways for another one of her trademark smiles. “Now all I have to figure out is where she is gonna be tonight?” She was off the bed and going through her shopping bags as the image of Buffy dancing in, what looked like a club, flashed before her eyes.

“Oh, this is going to be fun. I missed this.” She thought as she pulled out one of her new outfits as laid it on the bed.

 Part V – Meeting Sam .

He stared blindly up at the ceiling. His hands rested on the back of his neck as he replayed his last encounter with her. Her harsh words echoed in his ears and he felt his stomach turn in an excruciatingly painful way. “What did I do now?” was the question that hammered in his head when he sensed someone crawl from under the trapdoor to his right. His eyes remained glued to the ceiling, intent on ignoring the woman. He really didn’t feel like hearing her endless babbling.

“Since you’re here… Stop burning those bloody incense sticks. The smell is making me want to heave.” He hissed, closing his eyes.

“I like that smell.”

He heard the distinct sound of sharp footsteps walking about the room.

“Well I hate jasmine. Who buys jasmine scented incense, anyway?” he practically groaned.

“Are you going to be in such a fowl mood all night? Cause I’m seriously reconsidering taking you with me.”

At her words he craned up one lazy eyelid.

“What are you talking about?” Slothfully, he sat up on the sarcophagus; dozy eyes looking for her. A frown settled on his eyebrows as he finally saw her. She was kneeling next to his trunk going through his clothes.

“Don’t you have any clothing that is not adequate for a funeral?” she sighed frustrated, flopping onto the floor and leaning against the chest.

“Once again… Let me see if I can make my question clearer… What the bloody hell are you talking about?”

A wicked grin grew over her lips and she quipped: “We’re stepping out!”

“Huh?”

“We’re going out. Dancing.” She announced matter-of-factly as she stood up and restarted looking through his clothes.

“I don’t dance.” He spat back, slumping onto the sarcophagus to resume analysing the patterns on the ceiling.

“Gee… What is it with you and black?” she mumbled under her breath as she threw away another black piece of clothing.

“Vampire.” He answered dryly.

“A-ha!” she cheered triumphantly as she picked up a red shirt. “Red. It’s an improvement.”

Spike craned his head up to look at her and mumbled:

“Will you stop going through my clothes. I’m not going.” He insisted, sitting up and looking at her.

She stood next to the truck, a bunch of his clothes piled up at her feet while she straightened his infamous red shirt. Spike noticed that, for the first time since he’d met her, she was wearing something other than her dusty old denims and red shirt. Instead, she wore brand new washed-out blue jeans that hung low on her waist. The fabric clung tightly against her thighs down to her knees where it spread out slightly until it reached her ankles. The white tank top that covered her chest had only one strap, which crossed over her right shoulder leaving her left one and her sharp collarbone exposed. Between the low cut denims and her top, her perfectly flat white stomach peaked out along with her partially exposed navel. To finish off, the thick metal belt that hung low over her hips matched her brown high heeled boots.

“You’re coming.” She stated matter-of-factly.

“And why’s that?” he asked cocking an eyebrow.

“Because you’re driving me insane with the 24/7 Buffy Summers telethon that is running in my brain. Isn’t there anything else in your life worth moping about?” She sighed deeply, taking a pair of black jeans and the red shirt and flinging it towards him. “Now, put those on.”

“Right.” He said as he flopped back onto the sarcophagus, ignoring her, but it seemed impossible as she came to tower over him, whining:

“Oh, come on… I became human for you.”

He opened his eyes sluggishly and frowned when he saw her sulk.

“You became human so you could go shopping.”

“Exactly! So I could look pretty for you.” An unbelievably fake smile took over her lips as she tilted her head.

“I’m not going.”

“Please…. Pretty please! Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease! I can go on for hours, you know?” she informed him with a raised eyebrow as she saw him close his eyes.

She whined until her voice went hoarse but there was absolutely no effect on the apparently sleeping vampire.

“What if I tell you I can guarantee you she is going to be there?” she tried hopeful.

“Who’s she?” he asked looking at her through one eye, while the other remained closed.

“Who do you think, Einstein?” She widened her eyes for a fraction of a second.

“Who says I want to see her? I don’t.”

“Oh, for Christ sake. Let me run this by you one more time:” As she spoke, her hands waved wildly around her as if gesturing to a deaf person. First she pointed to herself. “I can…” She pointed to her eye. “See the…” her hands came together to form the shape of a rectangle. “Pictures that…” Her fingers moved together and apart to mimic a blinking effect. “Flash in your…” Finally her index finger came to tap on his forehead. “HEAD! Un-der-stand now?”

Spike simply made a face of disgust.

“I know you’re thinking about her and I know you want to see her. So why are you trying to deny it?”

“Keep the shred of dignity that is left?” he suggested sarcastically.

“Come on. It’ll be fun!” her eyes brightened as she spoke.

He paused, looked at the clothes she had chosen for him, picked them up and her eyes widened for a second.

“Goodnight, freckles.” He mumbled, shoving the clothes at her.

~*~

“First I thought she was a teaser, but actually she wasn’t.” the ex-demon spoke loudly over the roaring music.

“A teaser?” Willow asked confused.

At that Xander stepped in, a sense of pride causing him to fill up his lungs before he explained:

“A teaser is a person that gives off the first impression that they will buy a lot of things, but in reality don’t. They’re just there to waste your time. And time is money, right honey?” The young man looked at his fiancée who was now lightly rubbing his back as she nodded in approval.

“She bought 20 candles, 40 jasmine smelly sticks plus, three very heavy and very expensive volumes of ‘Witchcraft – Past, Present and Future’.” Anya spoke with a triumphant smile.

“Wow.” Tara tried to sound enthusiastic.

“You bet ya wow. I think I just made a new best friend.” A huge grin spread over Anya’s lips as she sipped from her margarita. “Plus, she gave me this really cool tip on this store down on Roosevelt drive… really cheap prices on bridesmaid’s dresses. This way I can save on those and spend the money on important stuff.” She announced.

“Glad to know we’re not important.” Willow whispered to Tara, who gave her an accomplice’s smile.

~*~

“I can’t believe I let you dragged me here.” Spike groaned as he stepped into the loud club.

“Ah, come on. This is where we met.” She gave him a huge smile, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the crowed. “Come on, let’s get a table.”

Spike dragged his feet as he limply followed her. He really wasn’t in the mood for any of this. All he wanted to do was stay at home and mope, as she had put it. The only reason for being there was the hope of finding the petite blond. His eyes scanned the room failing to find her, but he easily detected the familiar Scooby Gang sitting on the other side of the dance floor. Maybe the crazed woman sitting next to him was right - maybe she was going to show up… Now, if only he could ditch his unwanted roommate he might have a chance to figure out what was going on with the Slayer.

“I’m going to the ladies’ room.” The auburn haired woman announced as she stood up and walked away.

“Knock yourself out.”

~*~

“Hey guys!” Buffy greeted as she arrived and flopped onto the stool.

“Hey!” the gang replied in unison.

“You sure took your time.” Xander noted as he looked at his wrist watch.

“Didn’t know whether to go for skirt of pants.” The Slayer explained. “Big dilemma.

“See you decided for shirt. Suits you.” Willow complemented the long black skirt her best friend wore.

“Thanks.” Buffy looked around the table and asked: “Where’s Anya?”

“Nature called.” Xander explained. “What about Dawn?”

“I actually let her come, but she got this phone call from Janice. Apparently, the girl found out her boyfriend was cheating on her. Dawn decided to go sleep at her place. You know, do some serious boy-bashing.”

Buffy looked at Willow and smiled as she recalled their own days of boy-bashing. Her eyes scanned the room and she felt her stomach turn as she noticed the platinum head moving through the crowd in her direction. In a blink of an eye, she stood up and walked towards him to meet him half way – away from her friends.

“What are you doing here?” she asked dryly as dancing teenagers engulfed them.

“Mingling.” He answered. “It’s a public place.”

“Are you following me?” she continued her usual enquiry.

“No.”

“Are you going to say an actual sentence tonight?”

“Maybe.”

“Ok, that’s it. I’m leaving.” She said turning to exit when she changed her mind as a last minute insult came to mind. She whirled around on her feet to face him and gasped as she found herself inches away from him. He stood in front of her, the mass of dancing teens around them causing their bodies to come together. A chill ran down her spine as she felt his chest pressed against her, his pelvis pushed towards hers.

~*~

“Where did the buffster go?” Xander asked looking around.

“I think she saw someone. I don’t know.” Willow offered as she turned to see Anya approaching.

She was giggling loudly, talking to a redhead woman who followed her close behind as they reached the table.

“You guys…” Tara and Xander turned to look at the ex-demon. “This is Samantha, the woman I was telling you about.”

A frowning expression ruled over the three’s faces.

“The woman from the Magic Box, earlier. The one that bought all those things? Xander you remember her, don’t you?”  Anya asked, but the young man seemed to be out of it as he gawked at the woman standing next to his fiancée.

“I don’t think he does. You came in to tell Anya about some problem in the back room, remember?” the woman finally spoke.

“Ah! Yes, the woman from the jasmine scented incense sticks. I remember.” Xander finally seemed to snap out of his daze.

In the meantime, the gawkiness seemed to spread over to Willow as she too stared at the new acutance. However, she quickly snapped out of it as she felt a stabbing pain at her side. She turned to see Tara hastily putting away the toothpick she held in her hand.

Willow couldn’t contain a smile as she realised: “She’s jealous!” Her heart suddenly flip-flopped with joy and the auburn haired woman she had just met faded out of her mind as she looked into Tara’s eyes.

Oblivious to the events happening around her, Anya continued the introductions:

“Samantha, this is Willow…” The Wicca managed to look away from the girl sitting next to her and smiled. “Tara…” With a shy smirk and a nod, Tara greeted the woman who smiled sweetly back at her. “They’re gay!” Xander sighed audibly as Anya announced it loudly. “And finally this is Xander, my apparently eternal fiancée.” The ex-demon grumbled.

“Hey!” Sam greeted as she took a seat next to Anya.

“So, what do you do, Sam?” Willow attempted to start off a conversation.

“I’m in…. security.” ‘Well, technically, I’m not lying.’ She thought to herself. She really hated lying to them, they seemed like nice people.

“Really? H-how?” Tara piped up and got a smile from Willow.

“I’m sort of like a… bodyguard.” Samantha managed to say as her eyes drifted over the crowd and she spotted the unmistakable platinum head of her roommate. A smirk grew on her face as she noticed the petite blond standing next to him for a split second before they were engulfed by the crowd.

~*~

Spike swallowed hard as they stared at each other, their faces inches apart. She was so close, closer than she’d ever gotten to him since… He wasn’t able to finish his thought as she pushed him away, causing him to stumble backwards.

“You know something? I’m not leaving. I’m here with my friends to have fun and I’m not gonna to let you ruin this for me like you do everything else.” She spat out. “You wanna stay, be my guest.” And with that she whirled around to leave but the feel of cold fingers gripping her forearm stopped her. Another chill ran down her spine as she turned around.

“Why are you acting like this? What did I do wrong? Is this about the egg thing? I said I was-”

She stared at him with disgust. Why was he rubbing it in? He knew exactly why she was like this. He had come to her workplace and… A wave of nausea washed over her at the memory. “He knows I saw him. I mean, he went to MY workplace to show off his new bed partner.” Anger boiled inside of her, clouding her thoughts.

“It’s not about the eggs. I just realised I don’t want anything to do with you. You’re a disgusting-“

She was cut off as she saw a woman come up from behind Spike and elbow him.

“Hey!” the strange woman greeted.

A little stunned, Spike turned to see Samantha standing next to him with a huge grin on her face. Somehow, she looked different. His eyes drifted towards her hair and he noticed that, for the first time since he had met her, she had it down. Only then did he realise just how long it was. It fell around her and down to her lower back; each group of auburn threads turning five or six times in large loops until they reached the edge of her white tank top, which now glowed as a result of the lighting in the club. He was taken a bit by surprise, frowning in confusion, but was snapped out of it as she spoke:

“Aren’t you going to introduce us?”

“Ah… Buffy!” he exclaimed in surprise. “This is….” His mind raced as he tried to remember the woman’s name and after a while he realised he didn’t know. He frowned once again, wondering how he could be living with someone without even knowing his or her name. “This is…” he repeated.

“Your skanky ho?!” Buffy offered in her thoughts, the fake smile never leaving her face.

“Sam!” the woman finally intervened, outstretching her hand and offering a big grin.

Reluctantly, the small blond responded and took her hand, making sure to apply a little of her Slayer strength and only letting go when she heard something snap out of place.

Sam, felt a tear form in the corner of her eye as the pain ran from her hand straight to her spine, but her smile never faded and between clenched teeth she greeted:

“Nice to meet you!”

“Nice to meet you too.” Buffy replied much less enthusiastically. ‘So you’re the smutty ho Spike’s been humping against the wall.’ She felt her stomach turn as her mind manipulated the images it had stored and pasted the redhead’s face over the giant question mark it had been working with since that night.

Sam frowned as she got a clear picture of herself being bumped against the wall by Spike’s body coming from the petite blond in front of her. She couldn’t help but cringe at the thought before realising it was not an actual memory but a visualization.

An awkward silence settled between the three as they stood in the middle of the crowd. Eventually, Sam made a move:

“Well, we better get going. It’s getting late and we have to get up early in the morning.” She tried to control the smile off her face, as she saw the meaning of her words sink into the petite blond.

“We do?” Spike asked confused.

“Yes, we gotta do that… thing.”

“Well, don’t let me keep you from the… thing.” Buffy swallowed hard as she pictured what exactly the ‘thing’ was.

Sam cringed as it flashed before her eyes. ‘God, don’t you people think of anything besides sex?’ she thought to herself.

“Thing?” The vampire remained oblivious to the on going war around him, his stare going from the redhead to the blond and back again.

“Well, goodnight then.” Sam finally said, practically tearing the vampire’s arm off as she hurled him away.

Buffy simply stood there with a tight knot in her stomach, repressing the uncontrollable urge to vomit.

~+~

“THAT was the woman that was in the shop today?” Xander asked in disbelief. The woman who had been in the Magic Box that day didn’t seemed one bit as interesting as the one who had spent the past five minutes talking to them. She had been wearing some old jeans and a large red shirt plus, she had her hair tied up and he had never gotten close enough to see her face.

“Yes.” Anya repeated for the third time, sighing.

“S-she seemed nice.” Tara offered.

“Yeah, she was – Oh, hey Buffy!” Willow greeted with a smile, but it crumbled the moment she saw the look on her friend’s face.

“What happened?” Xander asked concerned.

“Nothing. I’m just not feeling well. I think I’m gonna throw up.”

“Are you ok?” Xander continued his questioning.

“She just said she was gonna puke, she’s not ok, Xander.” Anya rolled her eyes.

“I think I’ll head home.” Buffy had to lean on the table for support and within instants she had Xander and Willow by her side holding her up.

“Here, we’ll take you.” Xander offered.

“What, we’re going home? Already?” Anya protested as she followed the group towards the exit.

~+~

“Will you explain to me what the bloody hell was that all about?” Spike bellowed as he walked after Sam between the gravestones.

“What?” She asked innocently.

“What do you mean ‘what’? The whole ‘thing’ thing… and the looks you two were having.” Spike continued to shout after her.

“Nothing. I just wanted to go home. I was tired.”

“Tired? We had just gotten there.” The vampire stopped dead in his tracks as a light bulb lit up in his mind: “What did you do in the loo?” he asked with a cocked up eyebrow.

“Huh… Is sex permanently branded on your brain?” she questioned in disgust as she pushed the door open and entered the crypt.

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“Well, I didn’t jump any waitress in a schoolgirl uniform. What kind of twisted fantasy is that anyway?” She took the stairs two by two and in seconds was laying belly up on the bed. “God, I love this bed!” she sighed relieved as she spread out her arms.

“You bloody well should! Took you long enough to choose it!” he grumbled as he remembered that afternoon.

She made little circles with her legs as they dangled off the bed.

“Now are you gonna tell me, or not?”

“For someone who’s 100 and change, you’re very green, aren’t you? Do you even know anything about girls?” she asked with a smile, but it was wiped off her face as a couple of images flashed before her eyes. “And we’re off to the Playboy Special.” She mumbled to herself. “I’m pretty sure you know a lot when it come to the horizontal tango, stud, but when it come to a woman’s mind you’re just as illiterate as a… frog.”

“A frog?” His scared eyebrow shot up.

“Sorry. First thing that came to mind. I’m very bad with analogies.” She shrugged. “Anyway… Being you’re guardian angel I decided to help you and help myself out in the process. Basically, I plan to get you to stop moping around and picturing that girl 24/7. She’s cute, don’t get me wrong, but I’m more of a Brad Pitt sort of person when it comes to blondes.”

“And what is your amazing plan?” He asked sarcastically.

“Make her jealous.” She stated simply.

“Jealous? About what?”

“You may not have noticed, but that girl was practically chewing my head off back there.” She informed him as she massaged her sore hand. “I think she snapped a ligament out of place, or something.” She mumbled to herself.

“She was?”

“Believe me. I got a pretty picture in my head that told me so. The way I see it, you only know what you want when you lose it. You know, like kids and toys.”

“Kids and toys?”

“Yes. When a kid gets a brand-new toy he plays with it for hours until he gets sick of it, and throws it away.” She started.

“Buffy is the kid and I’m the toy in this intricate analogy of yours, I assume?”

“Yes.”

“And I got thrown away?”

“Yes, no offence.”

“None taken.” Spike shook his head, leaning on the wall and he crossed his arms over his chest as he patiently waited to see where this was going.

“So, when another kid come along – me – and starts to play with it…”

“Hey, no offence but I’m not planning on letting you… ‘Play with it’.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. I don’t plan to either. I just want her to think I am playing. Anyway, shut up and listen. You’re ruining my story. When the first kid – Buffy – sees the second kid – me – play with the toy, suddenly, it wants it again. The first it being Buffy and the second being you.” She added.

“I get it.” Spike stood up straight, he was about to leave when he stopped and looked at her. “You’re really lousy at analogies."

She simply shrugged.

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