Part 25:

"Kill the other Spike? That simple?" Angel snorted, "Sounds a little suspicious."

"Look, mate, the last thing he'd expect is you to attack him. He thinks that you think he has a soul." Spike explained slowly, trying to restrain himself from rolling his eyes.

Spike rounded the older vampire, his eyes cold and dark.

"Do you love the Slayer?" He asked, his voice not above a whisper.

"Yes." Angel answered.

"Then you have to do it. For the Slayer's sake. She'll perish if you don't. He'll rip her throat out, but not before he ripped off her arms slowly" Spike got a tiny smirk on his face, "and gauged her eyes and cut her stomach into tiny little bits and rip both of her legs and cut out her cheeks..." Spike broke out of his reverie to see a very pensive Angel. He quickly recovered, "Or, at least that's what my soulless self would do."

"Fine. I'll do it." Angel consented, "But how?"

Spike gave him an incredulous look.

"Well, in general, stake to the heart equals dusted vamp."

"Thank you." Angel replied sarcastically, "What I mean is, how do I do this without Buffy getting in the way? The last thing I want is to hurt her in anyway."

Spike could barely contain an eyeroll.

"The last thing the Slayer is gonna do is protect that bastard now. If by some miracle, she does, then you get around her. Don't think so hard, mate."

"Not your mate." Angel said quietly. Spike merely cocked an eyebrow.

"Angelus, I should make something clear. So long as you cooperate, I'm the best damn mate you'll ever have."

~

Giles was frantic.

Everything made sense so suddenly...Spike and Dawn were from the future and they came to the past...creating a break in time.

"This is bloody awful." Giles finally said after at least an hour of pacing around the library, "What the hell were the two of you thinking, playing with time in that manner?"

"We weren't bloody well 'playing,' Giles!" Spike replied indignantly, "I told you before, the Choosers told us to do it."

"Oh, 'the Choosers told you to do it.'" Giles mocked, "You didn't by any chance notice dark, ominous shadows floating around when you were there did you, because I would think that you might be tipped off by the obvious * evil * that sent you there!" Giles finished with a roar.

"Actually, the one who sent us didn't seem evil. He was called the Keeper of the Earthly Secrets or some pompous ass name like that." Spike explained. Xander perked up.

"That's the dude I met! I thought you said he was good?" Xander asked Giles, who was once again dumbfounded.

"It just doesn't make sense...why would he purposefully awaken the Age of Demons again?"

Buffy cleared her throat.

"Spike said it had something to do with me. And my power." She offered.

"Don't be ridiculous, Buffy." Giles replied, "You're a slayer just like any other."

"Don't be so quick to jump that gun, Rupes." Spike drawled, "Buffy's definitely not your average Slayer."

Dawn nodded in eager agreement.

"Yeah. She's way strong and powerful and shit."

"Dawn, language!" Buffy chastised. She widened her eyes, "Whoa...where'd that come from?"

As the group continued to converse and brainstorm, Jesse pulled Dawn into a row of books.

"So Ambrine Jones never existed?" Jesse asked Dawn quietly.

"No." Dawn replied, trying to gauge his response.

To her relief, Jesse smiled.

"Thank god. The only thing that was wrong with you from my point of view was the way you used to treat people." Dawn returned his smile and flung her arms around him.

"I don't deserve you." She whispered into his ear. Jesse rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head.

"How do you think Cordelia's taking this?" Dawn pulled away with a pained expression.

"Did you not see her storm out? I'll have to talk to her later."

Jesse nodded slowly and pulled her back into his embrace.

"I feel like I haven't gotten to see you in awhile with all this going on."

Dawn leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Well, we'd better make up for lost time then."

~

The stars above Buffy twinkled in the night sky as she and Spike walked silently on a patrol.

"It's nice out." She said, "You can really see the stars again tonight."

Spike smiled.

"Yeah, I know. Sometimes, when I look up, it's like I can see all the answers...everything I'll ever need to know, right up there. I think they are there, the answers to every one of life's mysteries, I mean. I just think no one ever bothers to suss them out."

Buffy cocked her head and looked at Spike for a little while.

"You really have a thing for the stars don't you?" She asked, still staring thoughtfully at her ex. Spike laughed.

"I am a vampire, pet. You get pretty accustomed to them. I think every vampire either hates or loves the stars."

"I think that'd be poetic if we weren't talking about man-eating demons." Buffy replied, but cast a glance at Spike, "For the most part anyway."

"I was gonna say..."

Buffy looked at the ground with a smile, and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"So, these Chooser guys are pretty scary, huh? Now I sort of wish I * had * just taken on the Master as the Big Bad."

"Guess so, but this has to happen. It's bloody awful, but true."

Buffy shook her head.

"But, why? Cuz of me? I don't think I want my purpose in my life to bring forth the end of all humanity."

Spike smiled.

"It's not pet. Your purpose is to make sure that doesn't happen."

Buffy frowned and looked up.

"Then why did they send you and Dawnie back?"

For once, Spike didn't have a reply.

~

3:00 am PST.

The library was silent...nothing was stirring.

< Not even a mouse... > Xander thought humorously as he searched the expanse. He had snuck in, in search of something, anything that would begin to explain what The Choosers had told him.

He turned on the computer, a blue light illuminating the entire room.

"Where's Wills when you need her?" He whispered as he clicked on the card catalog icon.

Luckily, he found a search button.

"Aha..." He quickly typed 'The Choosers' into the tiny text box.

Two items came up, both under 'Personal Collection.' Xander smiled wryly. He assumed Miss Calendar had set that up for Giles. < Shame he won't touch this thing even with a foot long stick. >

One was the infamous 'The Book.'

The other, however, Xander did not recognize.

'In the Depths: A Look at the History of Demonolgy'

However, Xander noticed that there was a tiny symbol next to the title...one that looked suspiciously like a lock. He clicked on this and two red, flashing words appeared.

RESTRICTED READING

Xander cursed under his breath.

"I really need Wills now."

Giving up, Xander turned off the computer and moved his way through the dark.

He stopped.

But the footsteps didn't.

The hairs on the back of Xander's neck stood on end.

"Who's there?" He asked aloud. A cold laugh was his only reply.

"Holy shit." Xander whispered, before his body threw itself into its natural instinct.

Xander's?

Flight and flight * fast. *

He flew from the room, screaming. A cold hand caught him though and flung him over the desk, making him hit his head on the desk. Xander was knocked unconscious.

The computer illuminated again. The mouse moved the card catalog icon.

An hour later, when the library was still once again... two red, flashing letters were all that were seen.

SYSTEM DELETED

~

Blood ran over Xander's eyes. He groggily sat up, the sky and ground spinning around him. He took in his surroundings; feeling like he was in a dream world.

"What the fu-" A metal spike clamped down into his hand. Xander howled in pain, lurching his entire body forward. He felt like he was sweating blood.

"What's going on?" He asked frantically, trying desperately the excruciating pain.

Suddenly, through his haze, a bright white light appeared.

And a girl stepped through the threshold. She smiled warmly at him and knelt down, placing her cool hand upon his brow.

"Shh...everything's alright, Alexander. It's okay. You're going to be fine." Xander knelt his head down, snuggling against the beauty before him.

"It's okay..."

~

Buffy, Jesse, Dawn, Cordelia and Giles sat in a straight row.

"This actually happened, didn't it?" Buffy whispered, her voice choked. Giles nodded starkly, but kept staring to the front of the hall.

Between Dawn's tears, she reached for Jesse's hand, which he abruptly pushed away. She crinkled her brow and folded her arms, refusing to look at her boyfriend, as childish as it might have been.

Buffy glanced upward when she heard Willow's tiny voice amplified by the compact mic in front of her.

"Xander Harris..." Willow swallowed a sob, "Xander Harris was my best friend..."

That was all Buffy allowed herself to listen to.

~

Xander moved like air, swishing in and out of every corner he came across.

< Not too shabby. > He thought, glad that the whole "death deal" didn't mean that he had lost his sense of humor.

If he still had a body, he would have shuddered.

< Death deal. Way of the freaky. >

It was strange, because all Xander remembered was being in the library, trying to find out more about The Choosers...and then the thing going through his hand and then * poof! * He was in heaven; his body was dead.

He had heard so many stories about how people always knew when they died...like it was a moment of clarity.

Xander felt no clarity...happiness, yes. Clarity, though?

< That'd be 'no.' >

In all honesty, he was more confused than he had ever been in his entire life.

His thoughts drifted to Willow, Jesse, Buffy...

He hoped they were alright.

~

Spike walked to the front of the Summers house, sighing heavily. He knocked on the door.

A small, meek figure exited.

Spike smiled sadly.

"Buffy..." He whispered, pulling her into an embrace.

Buffy sobbed her eyes out, pounding rather strongly on his chest, wild sound erupting from her voice. She calmed down after awhile, but was whispering something...a fast, quiet mantra...

"My fault, my fault, my fault, my fault, my fault..."

Spike took Buffy's face into his hands and peered into her eyes.

"This is not your fault. It was that bloody drunk driver. This had nothing to do with you, ya hear?"

"It is though! He was walking in the middle of the night, all alone...to the library. To the library, Spike! To do research...God...for us..." She sniffled, "For me."

Spike kissed her forehead and brought her into his arms again, wishing he could say something.

"Still isn't your fault." He decided to say...more because he needed to say * something. *

"Maybe not." Buffy consented, "But I need to blame someone."

Spike let a little smile out.

"Always the martyr."

"Always."

After that, they didn't move for a long time.

~

The next day, Spike moved through the sewers, trying to take his mind off of Xander.

He was surprised at the amount of pain he felt in the boy's absence.

He had always hated Xander...never thought that he'd care when he...well, ya know.

But he cared. He genuinely cared.

Through Spike's reverie, he ran smack into Whistler. The duo rolled their eyes in unison.

"What the bloody hell do you want?" Spike asked.

"No time for games, my friend. There's something you gotta know. I'm not even gonna bother with the whole cryptic thing."

"I'm listening." Spike replied, folding his arms.

"It was all a set-up. All of it." Whistler said, taking off his hat and alternating it from hand to hand.

"All of what?"

"The boy and his "death." He ain't dead, Spike. Xander's still alive and kickin'." Whistler thought about his words and shook his head, "Let me rephrase that. In * this * dimension, yeah. He's dead. A drunk driver did hit him, he did suffer from massive brain trauma, all that. But, and this is an enourmous but, it wasn't * really * him. It was a set-up, as I said. The real Xander's in another dimension, alive and healthy, but thinking he's dead."

Spike scratched his head.

"Well, that's a bit puzzling. Does it got to do with The Choosers?" He asked.

Whistler snorted.

"You bet your ass it does. It's getting serious, Spike. Plus, Angel's due date is comin' up."

Spike shrugged.

"I don't see the big deal. He's been a mosquito bite- annoying as hell, but in the end, harmless."

Whistler shook his head.

"Don't forget that many mosquitoes have poison in their bite. Angel's presence is much more dangerous than you, or anybody else, thinks. Get him out and get him out fast."

With that, Whistler was gone, leaving Spike alone.

He had to get busy.

~

Part 26:

~

Giles and Jenny walked into the library in silence, not looking at each other.

"We should probably get some work done, Rupert." Jenny finally said, her voice soft, "Even thought it's so far from our minds. The apocalypse is still coming."

Giles nodded slowly.

"I agree." He replied, sitting down and rubbing his temples, "How much time do you think we have?"

Jenny shrugged.

"A few months, tops. Buffy needs to start getting ready."

Giles nodded again.

"Very true. Spike, our Spike, I mean. He must as well. We'll need all the fighting power we can get."

"Naturally." Jenny sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. She briskly walked over to the computer and turned it on.

What she saw, however, was not what she was expecting.

SYSTEM DELETED

"What the hell?" She asked, pressing a few random buttons.

SYSTEM DELETED

"Rupert..." Jenny said, typing furiously at the computer.

"What? Yes?" Giles broke out of his thoughts and walked over to Jenny.

"Something's wrong with the computer. I can't get any information out of it."

"Oh, dear. You may have to use a real book. What a tragedy." He deadpanned. Jenny glared at him.

"Rupert, this is serious. I had a lot of files on here; for work and for the supernatural."

"Yes, well, that is a bit of a problem, but that sort of problem can be fixed, right?" He asked, looking over her shoulder.

"Someone deleted everything on here...the entire system is dead. Plus, it looks like they encrypted some sort of virus that makes it impossible to revive anything." Jenny looked up at Giles, "It's gone."

Giles walked over to the card catalog and opened a drawer.

"Until we find out what happened with that, we'll have to rely on the-" Giles abruptly stopped, looking into his personal collection. Everything was gone.

"What the...?" He bent down and searched around. No cards were anywhere to be seen. "This is a bit bewildering."

"The card catalog's gone, too?" Jenny asked.

"Everything except for a few issues of Highlight's. Dammit!" Giles kicked the cabinet. "This is either an innocent prank, or the work of an agent of The Demons."

"Evil Spike, maybe?" Jenny offered. Giles shook his head.

"He works for himself. He would never be directly affiliated for them. It was someone, or something, else."

"But why would anyone want to stop us from finding out information about this?"

"Because," Giles explained, "one of the books most likely has all the answers we need."

~

Willow knelt down next to Xander's grave, and kissed it one last time, before the group retreated.

Buffy, Dawn, Jesse, and Cordelia followed the crying red-head, making idle small talk.

"I can't believe this happened. I knew this was going to happen..." Cordelia said, trailing off. Dawn leaned her head against Jesse's shoulder.

"We have to keep fighting." Buffy said, her voice lacking emotion, "So his death won't be in vain."

"How can you talk about vanity?" Willow spun around. "He'd be dead either way!"

The winds picked up and it began to rain. Willow's eyes were blazen.

However, no one connected the two.

~

Spike knocked on the edge of Giles' office door.

"Oh, hello, Spike." Giles said when he looked up. The vampire smiled softly and sat down across from him. He took a deep breath and looked at The Watcher.

"Xander's alive." He whispered. Giles nodded.

"I know."

Spike raised his eyebrows.

"Alright...not the reaction I was expecting."

Giles gave Spike a look.

"Spike, need I remind you that I am the earth's most efficient researcher? Believe me, you should've been worried if I * didn't * know." He explained.

"Right, then." Spike said, clapping his hands together, "Where the hell is he then?"

"That I don't know. He could be anywhere. My guess is that is has something to do with The Choosers." Giles said.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Spike said, narrowing his eyes.

Giles shook his head.

"Where ever he is...I'd be concerned for his safety, if I were you."

~

Children's laughter was the soundtrack to the world, Xander noticed. Every turn he took, a little girl or a little boy was giggling, chuckling, or all out cracking up.

It made him feel like he was at home...or some variation of a home he always wanted.

< It's nice here. > He thought as he stepped onto a pond and glided across the water. < It's how I wished my life had been. Only there was more Naked Buffy involved. >

His heart plummeted at the thought of Buffy. Again, he wondered how she was.

< I hope the grief isn't too much for them. Buffy's strong, but Willow... I'm not so sure about her. >

"Xander!" A voice rang out. He flipped his head around, hearing his nickname called out.

There before him was Dawn.

< Dawn? > He tried to speak, but it wouldn't come out.

"Oh, Xander! It's so good to see you!" She threw her arms around him.

< Dawn, can you hear me? >

She nodded, her eyes shining.

"You can't speak, Xander. Not here. Must be torture, I know." She replied with a wink.

She looked so young...so pure. Her forehead had a tiny golden design on it and she was dressed in deep purple ceremonial robes.

Her eyes were electric blue.

"Xander." She said, her voice deepening lightly.

< Who are you really? > He thought to her.

"She is the beginning and the end. The Key to all that is." She said, turning her face to the rising sun.

< She? > He cocked his head.

"Dawn." She pointed to the sky with double meaning.

She turned around and she was Willow.

"Xand, I miss you so much. The yellow crayon...I can't forget the yellow crayon." She was crying blood. Her hair was black and her pupils were dilated.

< Who are you? > He thought, fear rising in him.

"She is The Witch...the balance between the goodness of humanity and the evil of demons." She looked to the sun.

< Willow, you mean? >

She smiled and nodded.

She turned around and she was Giles.

"The books, Xander. You can't ignore the books. They all say the same thing! It's you, Xander."

< Who are you? > Xander thought, now beginning to understand...though he didn't know what he was understanding.

"He is the knowledge. He knows all...The Watcher." He looked to the sun.

< Giles. > Xander thought.

He turned around and he was Cordelia.

"God, Xander? What is your deal? Why are you here? Why am I here? Why are any of us here?"

< Who are you? > Xander thought automatically.

"She sees all...nothing is beyond her reach. She is The Power." She looked to the sun.

< Cordelia. >

She turned around and she was Jesse.

"Hey, man."

< Jesse...I mean, Who are you? >

"The truth." It was the shortest yet. There was nothing else he said, but he smiled and waved, before turning around.

He was Spike.

"Bloody hell...I know we don't get along, but listen to me, mate. We need to band together. For her."

< Who are you? > Xander asked.

"The endurance of a demon, the soul of a human. He is The Vampire."

< Spike. >

He smirked and looked up at the sun.

He turned around and he was Buffy.

He began to think 'Who are you?' again, but she raised her hand to cut him off...preemptively answering him.

"She is strength, she is power, she is pain, she is love. She is The Slayer."

With that, they disappeared into the now risen sun.

~

tbc...

Part 27:

~

"Hold on a second, Rupes." Spike said, rounding the Watcher, "Explain to me again how you knew about Xander before I did."

Giles sighed.

"Quite simple, really." He replied, sitting down at his desk, "As soon as I heard of Xander's death, I immediately assumed it had to do with the Demonics."

Spike creased his forehead.

"The who now?"

"The Demonic Choosers." Giles explained, "But, moving forward, I snuck into the crime scene and took a vile of Xander's blood. I had a..." Giles paused for a moment, "...a friend of mine do a test and it was just as I had suspected. Synthetic blood. The entire situation was a set-up. So now that I had my proof, I began doing some research with my collection of prophecies at home. It hit me then; Xander had been talking about all these, these, these riddles that the Choosers had given him about The Fighters and, and the, uh, the f-fact that Xander was to be the second piece of the puzzle and that mission he is supposedly headed on. Xander is on that mission at this very moment!" Giles finished his monologue with a triumphant slam on his desk. "The false pretences they told him about are his death...Xander probably believes just as well as we do that he is, in fact, dead."

"But he's not." Spike stated, everything finally beginning to make some sort of semblance of sense.

"Exactly!" Giles hopped up and began pacing, "Xander is far from dead, believing that he is in paradise when he is truly trapped in a demonic maze, with these entities known as The Fighters, who take on the form of his most beloved, using all of our strength's as * their * strengths."

Spike nodded.

"So how do we get him outta there?" He asked. Giles stopped in his tracks.

"I have a feeling that the answer to that question lies in one, or many, of the books taken from the library. By perhaps an accomplice of the Demonics."

"They have "accomplices" now?" Spike asked in aggravation, "Bloody great..."

"Naturally they do...you can trust no one. There are groups who have been waiting for this to happen for centuries, millenniums even." Giles explained with a sigh, "I may have to have Willow do some research on her own dread machine."

Spike nodded, taking everything in.

~

A dark, sexy beat rumbled throughout the Bronze as Buffy sat alone at a table...waiting in the shadows for her friends.

A cold hand touched her neck.

"Amazing, isn't it?" Spike whispered into her ear, "You're all alone...poor little girl's got no one in the world."

Buffy laughed coldly.

"You have three seconds to get your hand off me, jackass. And even then, I'll kick your ass."

A sadistic smile creeped across Spike's face.

"Finally, some action."

Buffy kicked up from her chair and threw a punch in his face. Spike laughed and reltaliated with a series of kicks...one to her stomach, and three to her head.

"What are ya gonna do, bitch? Kill me? Good bloody luck with that one."

Buffy caught his hand mid-punch and kneed him in the groin.

"The only reason you're not dust now is because of the real Spike." She spat out. She punched him in the nose.

He leaped back up and threw her to the ground a snapped one of her fingers. She hissed in pain.

"The "real" Spike, eh? Newsflash, sweetheart. Your little lover isn't supposed to be here. He's the phony, not me."

Buffy pulled herself up and flipped him onto his back and pressed her foot down onto his throat.

"Does it really matter, Spikey? If you die, he dies and if he dies, you die."

Spike snorted as he pushed her back and tried to punch her...but she blocked both swings.

"Says who? Your watcher?" He asked.

"More like common sense." She explained, "Ever heard of Physics?"

They continued to spar in a violent waltz, screaming insults and other obscenities at one another...Spike's nostrils flared as Buffy sent him a pattern of elaborate kicks and punches.

"I can see why he's all hot for you...you know how to move."

"Bite me." She replied venomously.

"It's all I ever try to do, luv."

Upon hearing her precious nickname from "her" Spike used, Buffy sent the evil Spike sailing across the room.

"Never. * Ever. * Call. Me. LUV."

Then, she stormed out of the club, leaving Spike sitting on the floor...laughing his ass off. It was funny really...the Slayer really loved him.

"Bloody insane is what she is." Spike muttered through laughs. He glared at a group of bystanders who stared in slack-jawed shock at the scene that had just played out before them.

Spike shook his head and stood up...brushing himself off.

A scream broke out.

He snapped his head to the sound.

A large vortex swirled in the center of the room.

Spike watched with wonder as the screaming girl was sucked in...only to have her remains spewed back out across the dance floor.

He smirked at this.

However, he felt his body be slowly pulled toward the hole, closer and closer...he yelped out loud as he realized what was happening and he thrashed against the invisible puppeteer that forced his body to move to the circling darkness.

"Holy F-" He began to scream as the wind picked up and threw him against the wall. He ricocheted back and then into the circle.

It closed against him and he felt himself be pulled through dimensions...the eons he had only dreamed of whizzed by him in a dizzying frenzy.

After what seemed like ten hours of torture, Spike found himself on the ground.

He sat up, rubbing his temples, blinking in the sunlight.

"What the hell?" He whispered out loud.

He heard a throat clear behind him. He whirled around and saw...that whelp the Slayer always hung out with. The one that revealed the truth about the other Spike to her.

Spike heard the whelp's voice, but didn't see his mouth move.

"What the fuck is going on?" Spike asked Xander, who just shook his head.

Xander thought, before going over and helping Spike up off the ground,

~

"You see, Xander will be given a series of tests...not your usual ones, naturally. But more, more, more mind-bending tests that will show his true soul and nature." Giles explained to Spike, "He mentioned that, um, that..." Giles looked down at his notes, "That 'Spike will be an ally, but not the Spike he would expect.'"

"The other one then. Not me." Spike reasoned aloud.

"Precisely. How that could happen I can't imagine." Giles replied, cleaning his glasses.

Spike tilted his head.

"I dunno...I was known to do good in my day's without soul. However, it was usually for my own selfish benefit...or for Buffy." Spike explained. Giles crinkled his eyes in wonder at Spike's last comment, but said nothing.

"Either way, Xander is in deep, serious danger." Giles concluded, "I think it best we get the, the Scooby Gang together as soon as possible."

"I'm on it. I'll page Buffy and give Willow a ring, get everyone in the loop." Spike said, moving swiftly to the phone.

"Brilliant." Giles said half-heartedly.

Bringing back Xander would be great.

But it would be just the beginning of the battle.

~

tbc...

Part 29:

~

The Scooby Gang sat in silence.

"So, now what?" Buffy asked, looking up at Giles, "I mean...where do we go from here?"

Before Giles could answer though, Buffy burst out laughing and shot her gaze up to Spike.

"A "musical" demon?!" She asked, laughter still in her words. Spike shrugged.

"The Whelp thought it would show him more about him and that Anya bint." He explained, "And cheer you up a bit." Pause. "That didn't really work out..."

"That's Xander, though." Willow said with a small smile, "Always trying to help people. Even if stupidly. I remember one time, in fifth grade, this kid was making fun of me because, well, I guess people are just prone to making fun of me. Anyway, Xander created this whole elaborate scheme where a bucket of whipped cream fell onto this teacher's head when he opened a closet door and put the blame on the kid who was giving me a hard time. I still don't get the mechanics of it, but it worked. And of course, Xander got beat to a bloody pulp afterward, but he said it was worth it to help me." She sniffled and looked up at Spike, her eyes teary and vulnerable, "You swear to God he's really still alive?"

Spike leaned down and squeezed her hand.

"I swear." He whispered.

Buffy sighed and rolled her neck under her hand, obviously deep in thought. All eyes were on her, awaiting whatever it was she was about to say. She took a deep breath in and made eye contact with every person in the room before finally speaking.

"I have to go in. I have to see these Chooser guys." She concluded. "All the signs are pointing to it.

"Not bloody likely!" Spike exclaimed, hopping up from the ground, "You can't see them! And there aren't any "signs.""

Buffy's eyes flashed.

"You don't get to tell me what I get to do." Buffy spat out, "You're not the boss of me!"

"That's mature. Next thing I know you're going to be screaming 'I'm telling!'" Spike mocked.

"This is serious, Spike. And serious situations call for drastic measures. You let Xander see the Choosers." She accused.

" * They * let Xander see the Choosers." Spike clarified, "I had nothing to do with that decision. If I had been there, there's no way in hell Xander would have gone. And that would've saved us all this trouble and we wouldn't be in this bloody mess." Spike pointed at Buffy, "And if you go to see them, you'll just complicate things furthur."

"Things are complicated to about the extreme already, Spike." Buffy argued, "A little extra complication or what not won't change anything. I can fix this. * We * can fix this. But one of the rules of fighting is to know your turf...to understand what you have to work with. And the Choosers are the only ones who know that."

Spike shook his head.

"Remember what I taught you, luv? The first rule of fighting?" He pleaded.

"Never get too confident in your abilities." Buffy recited reluctantly. Spike nodded.

"Exactly." He said softly, "This is far, far beyond what you can handle alone at this point in your life, pet. You're young, still. You don't have the training to deal with this, yet. You aren't ready."

"But I am!" Buffy replied urgently, grabbing onto Spike's arm and forcing him to look her in the eye, "Spike, listen to me. These memories, or flashbacks, or flashforwards, or whatever the hell they are...they're helping me. Everytime I see a new fight or a new apocalypse averted, I feel like...no. I do have more power. I have all the training I need. As far as I'm concerned, I've saved the world 7, maybe 8 times. Maybe only once in this world, but the flashes seem real to me now. I can smell the blood, I feel the pain...and I taste the victory. I know the way it works, Spike. You and Dawn gave that to me." She paused to look down, "Indirectly, of course. But your coming back here, giving me the power, somehow, to connect to those memories. I feel like I'm Buffy Anne Summers, 16-year-old, former fashion snob, high school student with a 2.5 GPA and a swell right-hook, but also Buffy Anne Summers, 22-year-old sister, friend, lover, and savior. They are a part of me now...they are who I am and what I will be. I mourn the losses of people I never met and people who I now never may meet. They are real to me." She was talking to the entire room now, "This world real, but what I lived before is real, too. Anya is real. She's real. Tara is real. Oz is real. Adam was real. Glory was real. Everything I fought and overcame was, or is, real. Time doesn't have a harness. It can exist here and there. It is everything." She looked back up at Spike, "Which is why I'm ready for this."

Spike opened his mouth, as if to say something, but then closed it again. He gazed mournfully at his love for a moment, but then chuckled, looking downward.

"You've got the floor, Rupes." Spike said, physically and figuratively backing down. Buffy gave him a small look of gratitude before turning her attention to her Watcher, who was busy cleaning his glasses.

"Well, ah, there-there's not much to say, really." He placed them back on the bridge of his nose and forced a smile, "Buffy has made a very strong, albeit confusing, argument in her favor. She is the Slayer and at the end of the day, I am but a guide. Buffy," Giles cupped the blonde's face in his hands, "I trust you to make a wise decision. Just, be careful."

Buffy grinned weakly and set her gaze down.

"I think I made my decision pretty clear." She snapped it back up, "Where's the spell?"

~

Spike grabbed Buffy's arm and pulled her silently outside of the library as the rest of the group worked on locating the spell Xander had used just a few short days ago. Buffy groaned in frustration as she leaned up against the concrete wall.

"Look, if you're trying to talk me out of going, again, you've got another thing coming, bus-"

Spike pressed his lips onto hers, making Buffy whimper lightly into his mouth. He delicately nibbled her bottom lip before pulling away almost as quickly as he descended.

"-ter." She finished, her eyes still closed.

Spike smirked.

Buffy blinked her eyes open and inhaled sweet, sweet oxygen.

"Well, that was unexpected...I mean..."

Spike pressed his finger to her lips.

"Shh. Let me get a few sentences in here, alright?" Spike chided with a grin, though serious, "In the past...or future...or whatever you want to call it, I lost you twice. Both times I thought permanently. And both times I thought almost the same exact thing. Well, after I was done with the wailing-and-screaming-like-a-little-girl part." He chuckled at his own dark joke, but then sobered his face and tenderly brushed his thumb across her cheek, "I always thought, 'My god. Did she have any comprehension of how much I loved her? I don't think she did.'" Spike looked off into the distance for a second, before taking an unneccessary breath, "So, seeing how we're about to enter the eye of the greatest apocalypse of our time, there's some risk involved here. And this time, god forbid, anything should happen to you...I want to be absolutely positive that you understand everything, in case you fail."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Buffy whispered. Spike pressed his fingers back on her lips and ducked his head to stare into her eyes.

"I love you." He murmured, "I will always love you. No matter what happens, no matter what you do, or what I do, nothing on this planet could make me feel anything but everlasting love for you. You're it, Buffy. The have-all- end-all, the reason I've gotten this far. The reason I have a soul, the reason I wanted a soul. You made the demon inside of me see kindness and thirst for it. You brought William back to life just by...just by living yourself. That's all I needed. But then you loved me back, and God, Buffy, that was it. I had the world in my hand, there was nothing else for me to conquer. I didn't need anything else. Even if it was just for the one day that you told me you loved me...even though..." Spike's voice choked and he looked away, afraid of the laughter he was almost positive Buffy's eyes would hold, "Even though you died the next...it was enough for me to hold you in my arms that night and know that maybe, maybe you felt even a fraction of what I felt for you...it made my entire existence make sense. When you died the second time, I thought I'd never see you again. But here we are...and though I've screwed things up royally, and perhaps eternally, by not opening my big mouth the one time I should've...I know that somewhere through your anger at me, you love me. And that's what will keep me going...keep me strong through this battle. And even if I don't make it- "

Spike felt a hand tighten on his. He snapped his gaze back to her and met her own tear clouded green eyes.

"No." Buffy managed out forcefully. "You'll make it. You have to. I don't think I could-"

Spike smiled sadly.

"But you would, pet. You're strong, Buffy. Stronger then you ever gave yourself credit for. And I'm not just talking about your roundhouses, either."

"I can't lose you." Buffy said, a few tears finally rolling down her cheeks, "I just..."

Spike leaned in and wrapped his arms around her, letting his face be buried in her golden hair, a few tears of his own wetting the silk.

Buffy clutched onto his duster, letting the smell of leather, tabacco, and aftershave surround her as she sobbed helplessly onto his chest.

"Don't let this be goodbye...Don't let this be goodbye!" She cried out, the words slightly muffled into Spike. He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head.

"It's not goodbye, pet. It's never goodbye with us."

Buffy looked up and shocked his blue eyes with her intense, green gaze.

"Promise me you'll live." She demanded, her voice low. Spike nodded slowly.

"I promise." He whispered, before drawing her in again.

Buffy coughed out a few more sobs, but then just rested her head against the solidity of Spike's chest. She sighed a jagged sigh and then tilted her head upward. She stood on the tips of her toes and lightly brushed her lips against his.

"I do love you, Spike. I told you that before. I also said I needed more time to process everything, which I do. But it's not only that, anymore."

Spike shook his head.

"I'm not interested in talking about this. I know we're not together. I know we might never be together again."

"Doubtful." Buffy whispered, making Spike nod.

"Exactly what I mean." He said, his voice distant and heavy. Buffy smiled and shook her head.

"No, you dope. I meant that it's doubtful that we might never be together again. I told you that I needed time to process it and to forgive the lying. Now, time might not have a real meaning, but one thing I know is that it does pass...and so will this phase in our relationship. You're a part of me Spike, a part of this." Buffy grabbed his hands and held them to her heartbeat, "I love you. You are the first person...the first man that I've ever loved, in this world. And that's not going to go away. Not ever. You're my power...when you're around I feel invincible...like I could take on anything."

"And you can. I never meant to make you feel like you couldn't, luv. It's just I-" Spike started to explain his objections when Buffy silenced him.

"You were worried about me. I know. I understand. But I'm the Slayer, Spike. I have an obligation to the world."

Spike reached over and crushed her to him again, kissing her fiercely. Their tongues fought for dominance as the world around them fell away. Buffy pulled away and kept her forehead plastered to his. Their eyes were both slammed shut as they gasped for breath, though halfway unneeded, praying for the moment to never end.

"You have to protect them, Spike. I've asked you before and I'm asking you again. You have to take care of all of them. This is my battled."

"This is * our * battle." Spike corrected, tightening his grip on her arms, still not opening his eyes.

"I love you." Buffy said urgently, kissing him hard.

"I know." Spike replied, pulling away, feeling that their moment alone was coming to an end, "You know I love you, too. Now, go in there."

Buffy reluctantly disentangled herself from Spike and stared at the metallic double doors.

Her first battle awaited.

~

tbc...