Ch. 7: Thoughtful Gifts

Spike wasn't sure why he showed up so early to the Sunday study group at Buffy's. Outwardly, he convinced himself that it was his normal MO to be on time for every event. In the far recesses of his mind, he perhaps hoped that there would be a repeat of Buffy's seductive dance just for him. He would never admit to that hope, but regardless of his reasoning, he was driving down Revello Drive about 20 minutes earlier than the set time. As he slowed down, he saw Buffy at her door and eventually recognized her companion as the guy she had picked up at the Bronze last night.

***

"I had a really good time, Buffy," Angel said as he walked her to her door. What surprised him was how honestly he meant those words. He was used to saying such pat phrases, expecting the usual blush and lowered lashes in response to his words; this time, he truly had had a good time. He found that they did actually have a lot in common, and their time walking through the lazy streets of Sunnydale's cemeteries and sipping coffee at the Espresso Pump had resulted in interesting and comfortable conversations. He wasn't completely in love or anything-he was far too sensible for that-but he was pleasantly surprised that his next conquest was someone he could actually talk to outside of bed.

"I did, too," Buffy said thoughtfully. She was still overwhelmed at how quickly she had ended up seeing Angel again, not really expecting him to call so soon. They had spent the Sunday very leisurely, strolling through Sunnydale's historic sites and premier dining establishments. She tried not to be embarrassed by the uninteresting places she had ended up taking Angel, but there just wasn't much sightseeing in Sunnydale. There wasn't a huge spark between them-she wasn't enthralled or anything-but there was a small connection between them. She tried desperately to quell the insecurities she felt towards Angel's motivations and intentions.

"Can I see you again later this week?" Angel questioned, looking into her clear, hazel eyes. As she looked up, he felt a twinge of something inside. She really was pretty, and her innocence made her that much more desirable.

"Um, sure. I can't do much during the school week, but give me a call," Buffy said, trying to sound as if she said such things all the time. In reality, Buffy had had very little dating experience. She hoped her naiveté didn't scream its presence to Angel.

"I will." Angel brushed her cheek softly with his hand and leaned in for a kiss.

Buffy's heart began to pound. "My first kiss? Now? On the porch?" Her staccato thoughts flew around until she noticed a black DeSoto heading towards her home. "Spike," she thought to herself. Instinctively she turned her head just as Angel's lips touched her skin-grazing her cheek.

Angel was surprised at Buffy's movement. He sensed her nervousness, but he hadn't expected her to give him the cheek. Her resistance only made him more eager to press her boundaries.

"I'll see you later, then," Buffy said with finality. She opened her door, waved one last time, and closed it.

Angel stood for a while, staring at the closed door, trying to assess what had just happened. Eventually he turned and began walking to his car. As he stepped onto the sidewalk, he waited for a black DeSoto to turn onto the driveway. Curious, he watched as a platinum blonde blatantly ignored his presence and walked up to Buffy's door. He watched as the guy rang the doorbell, confidently entered the house, and closed the door behind him.

Angel thought some more as he climbed into his car, pondering his next moves and the intriguing complication that seemed to have arisen. With one final glance at her house, he drove away.

***

Spike peeked through the curtains and watched Buffy's date drive away. He had seen their almost-kiss at the front porch and had tried not to seem too obvious in driving up to the house past loverboy. Buffy's mom had let him in; apparently Buffy had rushed upstairs for whatever reason, and Joyce had told him to wait in the living room. He was tempted to peek upstairs, but he felt uncomfortable about going up when Joyce had specifically told him to wait here. He sighed loudly, wondering what Buffy and Forehead had done to merit an almost-kiss on the front porch. Plopping onto the sofa, he closed his eyes in an attempt to block images from entering his mind. He shook his head and decided to get out his book to read; since he was supposed to have Love in the Time of Cholera finished by tomorrow, he might as well read while waiting. He lost himself in the book, absorbed by the sensual and languorous language, and was finishing the last page when he heard footsteps clambering down the stairs. He saw Buffy, now dressed in sweats and a baggy t-shirt-a far cry from the cute sundress she had been wearing earlier on her outing with Forehead (he supposed the guy had a name, but the nickname was now engraved in his mind).

"You're early," Buffy said simply. She tried to ignore the butterflies that were fluttering through her stomach in seeing Spike casually reading on her sofa, looking so scrumptious in his usual black tee and jeans. She also tried to ignore the obvious differences between her reaction to Spike and the more lukewarm reaction to Angel. She hardened her face in resolve, crushing all hopes with Spike and being more optimistic about possibilities with Angel.

Spike saw the expression on her face and interpreted it as annoyance, possibly because it cut into her post-Forehead basking time. He automatically went on the defensive.

"Yeah, well, some of us like to be productive on the weekends and not waste our time escorting every willing bloke around the block, whatever kind of block that may be."

Buffy shot him a nasty look. "Maybe losers like yourself just don't have anywhere else better to be than a physics/math study group," she said in a biting tone.

"What's with the sweats? We're not good enough for the sundress?" Spike said, annoyed by the fact that she had changed.

"Why would I study in a dress?" she said, her voice dripping with exasperation. At that moment the doorbell rang. Thankful for the distraction, she opened the door.

"Hey, guys," chirped Anya, who sailed through the door in a cute, pink sundress.

"Hey, there," said Spike, his voice completely changed to honeyed charm. "You're looking lovely, Anya. Nice dress," he said, pointedly looking at Buffy after throwing a smile to Anya.

"Oh, thanks, Spike. I always like to look nice. It's just a thing I have with looks and getting compliments." She twirled for effect. "Buffy! I thought we decided you were going to embrace my mind-set? What are these sweats? We're going upstairs right now to change," Anya said firmly, taking Buffy by the arm and marching her upstairs, completely deaf to Buffy's pleas. "Spike, you'll just have to wait down there."

Spike chuckled as he saw Anya manhandle Buffy up the stairs. If anybody knew how to strong-arm Buffy, it was Anya. There was something about Anya's persona that you just didn't mess with.

***

"Anya, it's just a study group. Why would I wear a dress?" Buffy complained, finally breaking loose of Anya's clamp.

"Buffy, it's not just about a study group. It's about wanting to look nice no matter what the occasion. You don't have to wear a dress or put on a ton of makeup, but you could at least care about how you look. I mean, ratty t-shirts and grey sweats? Come on." Anya gave her clothes a look of disgust and started to rifle through her closet. "Sometimes it's just nice to know you look good. Especially since we're still working on your confidence-and you're not going to improve your confidence looking like that," said Anya as she began throwing clothes out onto the bed.

"Or by hanging out with insulting people like you," Buffy muttered.

"I heard that, but I'm choosing to ignore it. You can't complain about boys not noticing you and people stepping all over you if you dress like that and act like that. You either embrace who you are or figure out what you like and what you want. So stop pretending like dressing nicely compromises who you are and show a little skin." She picked up the simple sundress that Buffy had worn earlier. "What about this?"

"I just wore that this morning when I was with Angel. Don't you think it's a little too much?" Buffy said, finally getting up and joining Anya in looking for a different outfit.

"Fine, fine. And you'll have to tell me how your date went," she said as she put the dress back.

"It was, well, nice. He's a really nice guy. He wants to see me again," Buffy said quietly, pulling out a pair of jeans. "How about these? They're those new ones I bought that aren't baggy."

"Good choice. Casual but stylish. So Angel is nice, but no major tinglies?" Anya said as she started to put back the discarded options.

"I guess so. Maybe they'll come later," she said while pulling off her sweats.

"Geez, Buffy. You wear those ratty sweats and a red thong? You are the weirdest dresser," Anya said.

Buffy quickly put on her jeans to cover her bottom. "I like lingerie. Makes me feel pretty." She put on a snug top that showed off her slim waist. "So are we done? Am I now presentable?" Buffy said sarcastically.

"Now, now, no need to get snitty. I actually have one more gift for you." She reached into her purse and pulled out a small box.

"Anya, you and Willow did more than enough for me. What else could I possibly ask for?" Buffy said, taking the box into her hand.

"Oh, you could ask for this." Anya watched while Buffy opened the gift.

"Pussy Pleaser?" Buffy shrieked, dropping the box onto the floor. Anya snatched it up quickly.

"Don't underestimate its powers. It's small, but it's amazing. I considered getting you a dildo, but we'll wait until you're deflowered." She opened up the box and pulled out the vibrator. "See, you just put in batteries-which I have generously supplied you with-and then you-"

"Anya! I'm sure I can figure it out. But I really don't think-"

"No, of course you don't. But you will. Just try it. We all get a little horny and frustrated sometimes. Even if things go well with Angel, you still might need a little Me time. And I know you love reading those romance novels. Might as well capitalize on what you do with yourself after you're turned on by those hot sex scenes."

"Anya, I-"

"Buffy, just trust me. Let me give this to you. It will open up new worlds. Don't say anything until you try it. Okay? Good. Now let's go." With that, she opened the door and began going down the stairs.

Buffy stood, stunned, until she finally realized what she had in her hands in front of an open door. She hastily put the new toy into the nightstand's drawer and then rushed after Anya.

***

As Spike sat on the sofa downstairs, he heard vague rumblings of the girls upstairs. He could've sworn her heard the words "thong" and "pussy" thrown between the two, but he wondered if he were merely dreaming. Whatever the case, he was going to have some interesting dreams starring Buffy, Anya, and a red thong. He grinned as his fantasies began to swirl before him.

***

"So are we all good with what's going to be on the Physics test tomorrow? Because I'm pretty beat with slopes and variables and formulas and oh god…my head's spinning," Xander moaned. "I'm only hanging on by the slimmest of threads, and it's only because you guys are carrying me through this class." He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his temples.

"Oh, Xander. It's not so bad. You know a lot more than you admit, Mr. Mechanical Engineer," Willow said, poking him in the side. "Stop pretending you're not smart. I can see right through you."

"Ah, Wills. If only I was as smart as you guys," Xander whined

"That's were as smart as you guys," Spike said, putting on his snobbiest British accent. He was greeted with a mass of pillows for his efforts. "And speaking of grammar, are we still meeting tomorrow after the Calc group to talk about our presentation?" he asked Buffy.

"Huh?" Buffy said, having zoned out while watching the gang bicker about exams and various school-originating stress. She'd been getting tired of all the studying and had begun to wonder about Anya's little gift.

"You know, our little presentation? Love? Cholera?" Spike said in a patronizing tone, his head tilted in an attempt to figure out where her mind had wandered.

"Oh, right," Buffy said, flustered, so much so that she even missed the opportunity to respond in a biting manner. Spike noticed this and looked at her closely.

"Are you okay, pet?" Spike asked, trying not to sound too concerned.

"Yeah, I’m fine. I'm ready for whatever you got. Tomorrow night it is," she said. Buffy still had a few chapters to go, but she was confident she'd be able to finish that night.

"Yes, tomorrow. Good thing I spent this morning productively, finishing up the novel," he said, his voice heavy with implication.

"Good thing I read so fast I don't have anything to worry about," Buffy said rather lamely.

"Okay, gang, I think we should call it a night, if you guys don't mind pausing the bickering for a few hours," Willow said, the last part under her breath.

Buffy glared at Willow, having heard her comment. "Yes, let's finish up. I'm pooped and ready as I'll ever be for the test." She yawned and stretched her arms over her head. As she raised her arms, her t-shirt slipped up to reveal a flat belly. To Spike, it looked soft and lickable. He glanced away before she could catch him looking at her and began to gather the plates and glasses that had piled up during their session.

"Whoa, Spike. Being helpful for once?" Xander said, amazed at his friend's actions.

"Well, we can't have Buffy's mom cleaning up after us every week, considering how much we come here. I'm a good boy when I need to be-but I'm bad when I need to be, too," Spike said, winking at the girls. Willow and Anya rolled their eyes, as did Buffy-but she blushed at the same time. She quickly began to help straighten the room, bending over to pick up discarded napkins and a dropped chip.

Spike couldn't help watching Buffy's movements, and he caught his breath when he saw just the top of what looked like a red thong. He looked to see if anyone else had noticed and-considering himself safe-peeked again. Yes, there it was, Buffy's low-rise jeans showing off the luscious scrap of underwear. Satisfied, he began whistling as he took the plates into the kitchen. His dreams would be good tonight. He heard someone behind him and turned.

"Thanks for helping. You didn't have to," Buffy said quietly. She had been surprised as well, not because he had helped but because he had started before she had. Usually she had to remind everyone to clean up. She tried not to let his presence get to her and came next to him to put glasses into the sink. "Are you sure it's not going to be too late tomorrow night to work on the presentation? We still have a lot of time before the first part is due," she said, trying to make conversation.

"You trying to get out of our little date? Afraid you're not going to finish in time?" Spike teased, leaning back onto the counter.

"Whatever. I was just trying to be nice," Buffy said, attempting to overlook the fact that he had called their time a date.

"I'm ready for anything you've got. Isn't that what you said?" Spike declared, clasping his hands behind his head, a smug grin on his face.

"You are so cocky," Buffy said, punching him in his stomach. Before she could react, he had caught her fist and held it.

"C'mon, luv. Isn't that what makes me fun? Everyone needs a little cockiness," Spike said, his eyebrow arched with implication.

Buffy pulled her hand away. "You are such a perv," she said quickly. "I think everyone's leaving." As she left the kitchen, she held her hands together, feeling the warmth of his touch and remembering the hardness of his stomach. Oh, if she didn't have such a weakness for abs she'd be fine, but unfortunately...

"I'll see you tomorrow, Buffy. And you'll have to tell me all about your date with Angel." Willow grabbed her bag and waved.

"Sure thing. Maybe I'll even have a note for you in the morning," Buffy said.

"Ooh, a note! Notes make me feel special," Willow said, excitedly. "Bye."

"Later, Buffster," Xander said. "Let's go, Anya."

"I'll be right there." She pushed Xander out the door. "Spike, aren't you leaving as well?"

"Yeah, I’m gone. See you ladies tomorrow." He strolled out the door.

"Finally. I just wanted to remind you about that little gift I gave you," Anya said, gesturing clearly.

Buffy grabbed Anya's hands in mortification. "Anya, please. How could I forget about your, uh, generosity in thinking of me."

"Well, that's me, the thoughtful one. You can write me a note and tell me how it was, okay?" she said perkily.

"Yeah, I'll think about it," said Buffy, pushing her out the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye!" Anya said. She then ran out to the car where Xander was waiting.

Buffy closed the door and let her posture slump. She slowly started up the stairs and finally reached her room; with the door behind her, she collapsed onto her bed, grabbing Mr. Gordo on the way. She played with his ears while she recounted the events of the day. Her time with Angel had been nice, but the time she remembered most clearly was moment she had had with Spike in the kitchen. She tried to convince herself it was just because it had happened recently. Her crush was going nowhere, and Angel seemed genuinely interested in her. She decided she would stop dreaming and give Angel a decent chance.

When she finished getting ready for bed and finally found refuge in its covers, her mind wandered to Anya's toy. Might as well see what's so great about it. Buffy reached into the drawer and pulled out the pink contraption.

She skimmed the directions-she couldn't help herself-and then tried to think of a scenario. She imagined the kiss with Angel on the porch and tried to fantasize about how that would feel, where it would lead. Content that she had found a fantasy, she turned off the light and turned on the vibrator.

She laughed out loud when she felt it tickling her, and she had to turn it off. She looked at it closely, trying to figure out how to control its intensity. She began again at a lower setting, and the gentle buzzing stoked the fire was starting to build in her. Her mind began to play out the events of the afternoon...

"I had a really good time, Buffy," Angel said. He reached out to caress her cheek. "You're so beautiful."

She looked into his brown eyes and put her hand on his chest, a solid broad chest. Her hands wandered down to his waist, thick with muscle. Not thin and cut, but still muscular. She tried to quell her disappointment and moved her hands to his chest again. Her eyes fluttered closed as he leaned in to kiss her.

She felt his breath on her lips and then waited in anticipation. His lips were soft and gentle. She felt his hands thread through her hair and then his tongue slowly lick her. She opened her mouth timidly, unsure of what it would feel like.

Suddenly she felt his hands tighten around her, rubbing her back and pressing her into him. She felt his tongue stroke hers, demanding but not forceful, passionate but not intimidating. She felt her body begin to react and moved her hands to run her fingers through his hair. She felt soft curls and moaned into his mouth, loving the feel of the soft locks caressing her fingers. She leaned further into the kiss, her body pressing against his.

He moaned, feeling her soft body push against his hard one, and his hands began to roam even more. He stroked her ass and felt her breathe sharply. She began rubbing her breasts against his, making him even hotter. He broke away for air.

"God, Buffy, you're so hot," he breathed.

She looked up abruptly into Spike's face, his eyes closed in intensity.

"Uuunnnnggg," Buffy shot out as her body tightened in climax. She reached down to turn off the vibrator. It had definitely made her come faster, but she was still unused to the unnatural buzzing and pulsing it pushed through her. She lay back, her body worn out by the intense orgasm. What began as an Angel fantasy had become a Spike fantasy, and she had a feeling her orgasm had only started when she somehow knew it had changed. And seeing his face, hearing his voice-well, that had pushed her over the edge. "Great, I can't even have fantasies without him coming up," she grumbled. She threw the toy onto her night stand, turned over, and promptly fell asleep.

Ch. 8: Time to Put the Toys Away

Buffy stretched langorously, slowly letting the sleep fall from her body and her eyes. She had slept so soundly, her nighttime pleasure exhausting her and yet satisfying her. She threw off her covers and looked at the clock.

"Shit! Oh my god," Buffy moaned as she calculated how little time she had to get dressed and get to school on time. Throwing on her velour hoodie and sweatpants, she ran into the bathroom, washed and brushed, and ran out the door.

***

"Buffy, we were worried. Oversleep?" Buffy read the note written in Willow's neat cursive. In an attempt to calm herself, she inhaled and exhaled slowly, still a bit out of breath from running all the way to school and into the classroom as the bell rang. Taking out her notebook and textbook to look like she was paying attention, Buffy partially covered the note and began writing a response.

"Yeah, totally overslept. Anya's gift kinda exhausted me. :o So, no note for you…I’ll tell you all about Angel and the other stuff at lunch?" Buffy wrote quickly, making sure her teacher didn't catch her. She folded up the note and covertly passed it over to Willow, who was sitting slightly in front and to the left of her.

Willow read the note quickly and turned to give her a sympathetic smile, followed by a wink. Then they both began to take notes, letting the normal school routine overtake them.

***

"So, was the Physics test as bad for you guys as it was for me?" Xander said as he plopped into his regular seat in between Anya and Spike.

"Xander, hush. We’re trying to hear about Buffy’s date with Angel, and she’s not speaking very loudly," Anya said, irritated. She gave him a dirty look and then leaned back into the conversation with Buffy and Willow.

Xander looked over at Spike and Oz, received dual eyebrow quirks, and then began eating his food. "Girls. Never understand them, can't live without ‘em."

Spike snorted and then went back to surreptitiously eavesdropping on the girls' conversation.

"So, there were no smoochies?" Willow said, eager to hear all of Buffy's adventures.

"Well, he tried, but I chickened out. He got my cheek, and I think he was really surprised when I turned my head. I just wasn't, well, there yet." Buffy blushed and began to play with the hem of her shirt.

"Oh, so he didn't really turn you on much?" Anya said bluntly. "No good vibrations?"

"Anya! I mean, maybe next time or something. But I just felt like letting him kiss me so soon would've been, uh, too soon," Buffy protested, trying to convince herself.

"Buffy, if you had wanted him, if he had turned you on, if you had been attracted to him, you would've let him kiss you. Hell, you would've let him do a lot more, if your choice in underwear says anything about all those repressed desires you have," Anya declared, as if her words finished up the conversation.

Spike smirked at Anya's comment but quickly hid it by popping a fry in his mouth. He continued to feign boredom and joined in on Xander's paper football game with Oz.

"Anya, will you keep your voice down? Not everyone is as horny as you are, right Willow?" Buffy said desperately.

"Actually, when Oz and I first went out, I couldn't wait to kiss him. I think Anya has a point," Willow said sincerely. "But maybe you're just being cautious?"

"Exactly. I've never had a boyfriend, and I don't want things to go kablooey on my first try." With that, Buffy got up to put her tray away.

"She's not interested. She's trying too hard. If it had been you know who, she would've been all over his body," Anya muttered, sighing loudly.

"Well, maybe it's for the better. Angel might turn out to be salty goodness eventually," Willow said, ever hopeful. "Anyway, we'd better go after her, see what she's decided to make of all this."

The girls said their goodbyes and walked after Buffy.

"So, what do you guys think of Buffy's new man?" Xander said, pausing their paper pastime.

"He seems sketchy," Oz said in his characteristically brief manner.

"Yeah, gotta agree with little man. He's a little too smooth and too tall and too stupid-looking. Can't trust those college boys around our girls," Spike said, trying to keep his voice even.

"I guess we shall see. Now seriously. Did you guys think the test was hard?" Xander said as he picked up his backpack.

"Nope."

"Nah. Sorry, Xan."

"Not at all?" he asked sadly as he followed his two friends out of the cafeteria.

***

"Buffy, wait! You didn't tell me what you thought of my gift! What happened to that note I was -"

Buffy quickly handed Anya a tightly folded note. "Okay? No more asking. I've gotta get to class, okay?"

Anya opened up the note excitedly and read, "You were right-lots of pleasure. Over too quickly. Will experiment more later. Stop asking!!!" She grinned widely and yelled down the hall, "Didn't I tell you it gave great pleasure?!? Tell me about your next experiments!" Anya giggled as she saw Buffy's frantic response and ran to her last class.

***

"Damn, that was a long day," Buffy said to herself as she plopped onto her bed after what seemed like an endless barrage of homework assignments and boring lectures. She knew she should be getting ready for the study group by cleaning up a little or at least preparing for her meeting with Spike about the book project, but she was too sleepy. She wanted to take a nap, take a bath, eat dinner, and then deal with all those things. She peeled off her clothes and crawled into bed in her panties. "I deserve this," she mumbled, letting her inexplicable fatigue overtake her.

She awoke two hours later to the sounds of her mom in the kitchen. Deciding she still had time for a bath, she gathered her favorite scented candles and bubble bath and headed towards the tub.

As she waited for the water to fill the tub, Buffy turned on a cd and swayed to the music while stripping. When the bath was finally ready, she slowly sank into the bubbles and lost herself.

***

"Hi, Spike. Here for the study session?" Joyce said pleasantly after answering the door.

"Yes, ma'am. Am I the first one here?" Spike asked politely as he entered the house.

"It looks like it. Did you want something to munch on or something to drink?" Joyce called over her shoulder while walking towards the kitchen. "I was putting leftovers away since Buffy slept through dinner. I hope she's not too sick. Buffy?" she called out as she piled food into a Tupperware. Not paying attention, she accidentally pushed the glass salad bowl off the counter, causing a loud crash and a dangerous mess. "Oh, no," Joyce cried out as she surveyed the floor.

"Are you okay? Can I help you clean this up?" Spike said as he moved towards the broken shards of glass.

"No, no, stay over there. I don't want you to get cut. Actually, if you could just go upstairs and check on Buffy, I'd really appreciate it. I can take care of this." She began carefully picking up larger pieces and placing them in the trashcan.

"Are you sure?" Spike asked again, not wanting to leave Joyce to clean the entire mess.

"Completely. Go on and tell her you're here," Joyce said, reassuring him.

"Okay," he said, turning to head up the stairs.

"Buffy?" he called out, while softly knocking on the door. "Are you sleeping? Your mom asked me to check on you. I'm not really that early," Spike said. Not hearing anything, he slowly turned the knob. As he opened the door, he knocked once again, a little louder. "Are you in here?" He opened the door fully, revealing a rumpled bed and a few clothes strewn on a chair. He continued into the room, not knowing where else to look. The last time he had come into the room, he had been distracted by Buffy’s undulating body. Now that there was little distraction, he took his time in surveying the room, trying to get a deeper glance into Buffy. Overall the room was neat, the bed made, the books on their proper shelves. The walls had a few posters and art prints on the wall--not the usual Monet prints but a movie poster of Amelie, American Beauty, and a few others, in addition to random smatterings of handwritten notes on the wall by her bed. He moved in closer to read them and found various quotations from books, including the opening line from their project book, Love in the Time of Cholera. "I love that quote," he muttered to himself as he quickly saw other lines from various novels. He smiled as he read one from Erica Jong's Fear of Flying when he bumped into her nightstand, accidentally knocking something to the ground.

He bent down to pick up the object and suddenly it began vibrating. He dropped it, startled by its movement. He bent down to look at it closely and then began smirking when he realized what it was. "Must have hit its switch when I picked it up," he thought to himself. "Interesting." He grinned once again, thinking of Buffy pleasuring herself, and slowly stood up, precisely as Buffy turned to close her door.

She moved in his direction while toweling her hair, humming to herself, when she suddenly saw Spike. She was rendered speechless, completely unsure of what to do.

Spike was quiet as well, but more in response to her shapely legs shown off by the short robe she was wearing. She smelled fresh, her skin still vibrant from her bath. He was so overwhelmed by the sight and scent of her that he forgot what he was holding.

When Buffy could finally grasp the situation, she began to babble incoherently. "What are you doing in here? Why are you here so early? And in my room? Do you normally go into people's rooms when no one's around?" As she approached Spike, she finally saw what was in Spike's hand. Her eyes bulged, and she threw her towel onto a chair to free her hands for rescue.

"What the hell are you doing?" She lunged for the toy in his hand, hoping he hadn't realized what it was.

Spike finally awoke from his stupor and snapped his hand up into the air, out of her grasp. This was just too juicy of an opportunity for teasing, and he wasn't about to give in. "Am I not pleasing you?" he asked coyly.

"You asshole! Give me that! Who told you to come up here anyway?" Buffy yelled, jumping up and desperately trying to get back her possession.

"Actually, your mom told me to come get you. She wanted you to come down for dinner. To eat. If you're hungry. You can just go down." Spike's voice was low and his subtle emphasis on certain words only infuriated her more. She took to punching him as hard as she could, which was pretty hard. "Ow, luv. You've got a mean punch," he moaned, trying to move away from her onslaught of fists.

"I'm not going to stop until you give it back," she said, continuing her rage. Her anger was eclipsing her embarrassment at the moment; she felt indignation at having her room invaded and was doing all she could to take back some control.

Finally Spike caught one of her fists with her free hand. "You're gonna have to stop that," he said, starting to feel the power of her small muscles.

"I've still got one fist. You can't hold me down without giving it up," she said, putting her whole body behind her one fist.

Swiftly Spike turned her around and had her against the wall, effectively trapping her other hand and making her incapable of continuing her batter. "Come again?" he asked with a rakish grin.

"Fuck off," she spat out, struggling to get out. "You have no business going through my stuff."

"Honestly, I was reading your quotes. It was purely innocent. But then I bumped your night stand and this fell. Didn't you learn to put your toys away?" Spike purred, pushing his body again in response to her attempts to escape. He could feel her starting to give in and grew more aware of her petite body pressing against his, her robe starting to come undone in their brief tussle. He glanced down at her neck with its jumpy pulse, her breasts glistening with a mixture of bath drops and sweat, her face flush with embarrassment, exertion, arousal? The possibility called to him, and he felt his cock jump in response.

She felt the change in him, in his body and his face. She looked into his clear blue eyes and tried to figure out what had just happened, how she had gotten up against the wall with his body pushed against hers, how she was half-naked with Spike holding her vibrator. All these thoughts crowded in her mind while her pussy only thought of one thing. If he wanted to, if for some crazy reason he tried, she wouldn't turn away; Spike wouldn't get her cheek. Her heart beat accelerated at the thought, and she ached to taste him. She looked at his lips, lips she had so often seen in a mocking sneer or contemptuous grin, lips that she had dreamt about, lips that seemed to be coming closer and closer…

The phone rang, its cacophonous buzz corresponding to the sirens that were blaring in her mind. They both stopped, the air thick with hesitation and desire, each battling for dominance.

"Buffy? It's for you. It's Angel," Joyce called.

Buffy was still frozen, not wanting to move, not wanting to destroy the moment she knew had already passed.

Another ring pierced the air. Spike unwillingly moved to answer his cell phone.

"Hello? Oh, hi, Faith." Spike glanced at Buffy one more time as she moved to begin her own conversation. "No, I'm not doing anything."

Buffy tried not to sigh, her heart quickly constricting at what seemed to be a dismissal of their moment. She steeled herself and tried to brighten her voice. "Hi, Angel. What's up?"

Their voices rose and fell over the other, each attempting to momentarily bury the sensations that had so quickly surfaced.

Spike, finishing first, waited a little while Buffy animatedly chatted about upcoming plans with Angel. He walked over to the nightstand, put back the toy, and, seeing that Buffy wasn't even looking at him, left the room.

Buffy quickly wrapped up the chat, hung up the phone, and sat blankly. There was too much to think about, too much warmth still pressed up against her body, too many lost possibilities thumping her spirit. The hands squeezing her heart and the scent of bitter almonds quickly defeated her, and she curled into a ball on her bed, postponing her walk downstairs for as long as possible.

Ch. 9: Beautiful Words

When Buffy emerged from her room, she was a different person. Pride had usurped her Libido's power, who was now cowering in the corner, sucking its thumb for comfort. The walls had been erected; Buffy was determined not to be played by Spike, not to be a toy to him. In her fantasies it had always been about genuine attraction--love, even. She wasn't going to flirt around and be some kind of physical thing. That was for ho-bags like Faith. She had dressed for battle, putting on her lucky lace red thong, her favorite low-rise jeans, and a tee that showed off her toned body without looking slutty. Oh, she was ready. Nothing was going to make her fall into another situation where she wasn't in control. She walked down the stairs with purpose.

Spike looked up when he heard Buffy come out of her room and then quickly looked down again. She looked great, her outfit casual but so fitting, both to her body and her personality. She was never about clothes making the person, and he had always liked that.

As Buffy walked down the stairs, Spike didn't even make eye contact with her. His dismissal only lengthened Pride's term of power, and she walked even more purposefully. Her decision had been made--no more playing.

"Spike, do you mind if we postpone our little meeting after the study group? The project's not due for a while, and I kind of have plans. That's okay, right?" Buffy said nonchalantly. She would have to call Angel back and make those plans, but she was willing to take the chance.

Spike paused, taken aback by her change in attitude. Truthfully, he had been looking forward to meeting with her, just to hang out and not necessarily have a charged encounter. He, of course, had to play the indifferent one. "Fine by me, pet. Got people I can see."

There was an awkward silence, and Buffy's resolve began to falter--until Spike took out his cell phone and began making a call. She was about to say something snide when the doorbell rang.

Both silently sighed gratefully while Buffy went to open the door.

"Hey, guys. Ready for some studying?"

***

Later on in the night while everyone else was taking a break, Buffy ran up to her room to call Angel.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Angel. It's Buffy." She tried to sound eager and excited to talk to him.

"Hey, Buffy. Thought you had plans tonight?" His surprise seemed to give way to pleasure, and that made Buffy happy.

"Yeah, it turns out I don't. Are you still up for doing something?"

"Definitely. I'd love to see you. When should I come pick you up?'

"How about 7:30?"

"Sounds great! I'll see you then."

Buffy hung up the phone and reviewed her plans. If she timed things right, Angel would be arriving right as everyone else would be leaving, giving Spike a full view of Angel and her un-toyness. She knew it wasn't a word, but that's what she wanted. She wanted Spike to see her as a girl who wasn't just a toy, someone who was worth spending real time with, worth dating. She was tired of making small moments into something bigger, tired of convincing herself that that was enough. Angel was nice, and he saw her as someone valuable. That was what she wanted.

She smiled and let her heart focus on how happy Angel had sounded when he had recognized her voice. Keeping that thought close to her, she carefully picked out a mini skirt--part of the Anya shopping collection from last weekend--and a snug top. Her new outfit on, she soothed her legs with lotion and then bounded downstairs.

"Whoa, Buff. What's with the change in clothes?" Xander said, stopping in the middle of shoveling chips down his throat. Anya, disgusted, took the chips out of his hand while he stared at Buffy.

She blushed, playing with her skirt's pocket. "Oh, I'm going out after the study group."

"Hey, I thought you and Spike had to do that book project," Willow said, surprised by Buffy's change in clothes and plans.

"Yeah, well, guess I’m just not important enough for her," Spike said, feigning intense hurt. "I'll go find myself a girl to comfort me." He dodged Willow's punch and smiled broadly. "I did get a call earlier today--"

"From Faith? The new girl?" Xander interrupted. "She's pretty hot-ty. She's pretty haughty," he hastily mended when he caught Anya's look. "I mean, she's just so snobby. God, I hate girls like that." Xander looked over at Spike and slyly gave him a thumbs up when he thought no one was looking.

"Xander Harris, you better not be looking at that particularly ho-ish skank if you want any more orgasms for the rest of the week. And you know how good I am at giving--"

"You're the only one for me, An," Xander butted in, desperately trying to keep Anya from talking about their sex life. He felt he should be used to her blunt comments, but he just couldn't with Willow and Buffy around. Had it been only Spike or even Oz, he would've been fine, but there was something about having his sexcapades discussed in front of his friends from elementary school that seemed to embarrass him thoroughly.

Willow and Buffy shared a look of disgust at the mention of Faith. The new girl had definitely made a mark, and not a good one. She had come on to Oz and Xander, briefly, and had definitely marked out Spike for her conquest. Their active conversation and pool time at the Bronze had more than distracted Buffy, even while she had danced and chatted with Angel. Faith had pressed up her body to Spike's while they had shot pool, and though Spike had never responded, he'd never pulled away either. That night, after the Angel talk, the girls had all decided to hate Faith with a vengeance, Anya being especially possessive over her man.

While Xander was busy pacifying Anya, the doorbell rang. Spike noted how quickly Buffy bounded to get the door. He sighed, thinking about how he'd probably end up shooting pool at the Bronze or just browsing the bookstore tonight, since he had finished all his work in anticipation of having his evening filled. He busied himself with packing his bag and getting ready to leave to avoid seeing Buffy's face when she saw Angel.

"Buffy, you look fabulous." Angel smiled and caressed her cheek. He knew there were other people watching, and he didn't want to get rejected from a kiss with all these observers. He noted her blush with pleasure and smiled again.

"Hey. Come on in and meet my friends. Then we can get going." Buffy ushered him into the living room. "Guys, this is Angel. You remember, from the Bronze? This is Willow, Anya, Xander, Spike, and Oz."

Angel nodded, smiled graciously at the ladies and briefly at the men, especially Spike. Ever since they had passed each other outside Buffy's house, he hadn't liked him, and the feeling seemed mutual.

"Okay, let's get going so Buffy can go," Willow said, taking on the responsibility of leading everyone out. "Call me later if it's not too late?" she whispered to Buffy as she passed.

"Sure thing," Buffy said, squeezing her friend's arm. They hadn't had much time to chat recently, with Buffy's suddenly active dating life. She hoped to have quality time with her soon enough.

Quickly everyone left, and Buffy and Angel were left standing in the foyer.

"Let me just grab my purse and say bye to my mom," Buffy said, hopping up the stairs.

"Sure. I'll wait right here," Angel said, appreciating the way Buffy moved. Her outfit clearly showed off her supple body, and he was ready and waiting to draw closer and have a taste. "Ready?" he asked as she came down the stairs again. He offered her arm.

She smiled at his gesture and took his arm. "Yup. Let's go."

As they walked out to his car, she asked, "So what are the plans for tonight? You said you'd think of something?"

Angel waited for her to get in and then came around to get inside the driver's side. As he started the engine, he answered, "Actually, I was hoping we could go for a drive. It's supposed to be a really clear night, and there's a pretty spot where you can see the whole town."

Buffy tensed slightly, thinking about a night of just, well, sitting in a car. She knew Angel wasn't the best conversationalist, though there were moments, and she knew he wasn't thinking about the conversation. "But you decided you wanted this. You want to move on, experience something. You're not going to have sex with him or anything. Just a little something," Buffy reassured herself. "That sounds nice." She smiled at him and then watched the houses flash by.

When they reached the scenic site, the sun was just dropping over the horizon, creating a beautiful fusion of oranges and purples splashed across the sky. Buffy stared in awe and quickly got out of the car to see it without the glare of the windshield. Angel smiled as he saw her eagerness and pleasure. He grabbed a blanket and a basket from the backseat and followed her out.

"This is so incredible. I mean, I've always loved watching the sunset, but this is just overwhelming. I'm just…" Buffy's voice trailed off as she succumbed to the beauty instead of struggling for words. She stiffened slightly when Angel's arms came around her, but eventually his slow caressing of her arms calmed her, and she felt comfortable, almost at peace in the midst of such splendor and the ease of his large, protective body. They stood quietly for a while until Angel spoke.

"I have a blanket and some munchies. Do you want to sit?" He motioned to the setup he had put on the ground.

"Oh, that looks great." She kicked off her sandals and made herself comfortable on the ground. Angel quickly joined her, pulling the basket close. "Ooh!" she squealed as she saw the basket.

"Now, don't get excited. The basket is a little deceiving. It's just a few cookies and some hot chocolate in a thermos," Angel said, acknowledging the paucity of their meal.

"Oh, cookies and hot chocolate are absolutely perfect. I missed dinner today, and I'm actually getting hungry. Does the hot chocolate have marshmallows?"

"No, sorry. I've never really cared for those. But maybe next time?" Angel said, moving slightly closer and implying their continual dating.

Buffy blushed. "Yeah. Next time." She reached for a cookie while Angel poured hot chocolate. Feeling herself loosen up a little bit, she ventured to delve into the college boy sitting next to her.

"So what are you majoring in?" she asked as she took the cup of hot cocoa.

"Forensics. Like detective stuff. It's always interested me, and I think I'm pretty good at it. People tell me I have a hero complex or something, but I don't care. I just like doing good." Angel smiled, his face brightening in talking about his major. "Plus, chicks dig that. You know, Dick Tracy and Sam Spade and all."

Buffy smiled politely. She had noticed his excitement about his studies, but she tried not to think about his chicks comment. Something about the way he said it seemed too close to the truth, even if he had said it in jest.

"What about you? Where do you think you want to go to school, you young thing," Angel teased.

Buffy frowned briefly--her age had always been a sore spot for her; she was already young for her grade, causing all sorts of problems with driving and being the point of teasing for many, namely Spike. She brushed it off, knowing that Angel couldn't possibly have known. "I'm not sure where I want to go. I've always wanted to leave California, maybe go to New York or at least the East Coast. But now that time is going by, I'm not sure anymore. I guess we'll see."

"Yeah, well, it doesn't really matter where you go. College is great all over. Parties, hangouts, meeting new people--"

"And that whole learning thing," Buffy interjected. "Knowledge is a pretty important thing, too."

"You're so different. I've never met anyone like you." Angel moved to brush a stray lock of hair out of her face. "I really like that about you."

"I think that's a compliment?" Buffy questioned, unsure about the source of her "difference." Was it because she liked to learn? Because she brought up a different part of college? Her thoughts were swirling around, and she didn't realize Angel was moving towards her until right before his lips touched hers.

And then he kissed her. Gently, softly, tentatively. Buffy felt him holding back, waiting for her to react, and she appreciated the movement. She let the warmth of his lips spread through her, the sensation new and enticing. She felt his hands cup her face, and she let herself fall into him, her body starting to tingle all over. She paused to lick her lips, and Angel took the opportunity to taste her, to tangle his own with hers. The movement was electric, and Buffy gasped slightly in response. Gaining confidence, she moved to run her fingers through his hair, but found it a bit hard from styling. She played with his earlobe instead, squeezing it and rubbing his neck. Angel moaned softly in response, and it thrilled Buffy to be the cause of his pleasure. She leaned into the kiss more, becoming more adventurous with her tongue, though it still seemed awkward, and her hands, though she wasn't sure where to go.

"God, Buffy," Angel moaned as he broke their kiss for air. He pulled her body closer and began kissing her ear and neck.

"Oh," Buffy gasped, the skin extremely sensitive to this new touch. She felt herself getting wet and squirmed to move closer. Angel responded by pulling her onto his lap. The position made Buffy aware of his arousal, and this knowledge empowered her, gave her more confidence in her actions. As Angel continued to kiss her neck, she began to suck on his earlobe. Her ministrations brought about more groaning and faster breathing, until she felt one hand brushing her breast and another brushing her thigh. She stopped, not wanting to go much farther. Angel noticed her movements and paused.

"Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?" Angel breathed, slowly kissing her neck again.

"Um, yeah. Actually, I just realized how late it was, and I don't want to get grounded," Buffy said, hoping she didn't sound too young.

Angel smoothed her hair and kissed her tenderly. "You're right. And I don't want you to be grounded, because then I wouldn't be able to see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah, there's this great bistro that has an amazing lunch buffet. It's only on Tuesdays. I was hoping to try it out with you," he said as he played with her hair.

"But I have school. Remember?" Buffy said, moving to put the cookies back into the basket.

"You can't miss it just once?" Angel asked, looking deeply at her with his dark brown eyes.

"No, silly. But I can meet you in the afternoon if you want."

"Okay. I guess I'll have to settle for that. Buffy--" He paused, trying to sort out his words. "I really like you. Being out here, chatting with you, seeing how beautiful you are and how eagerly you look at the world--I really like that. Makes me feel new, fresh, carefree. You are, you know," he said, staring into her hazel eyes as he cupped her chin. "Beautiful," he whispered.

She looked into his eyes and believed him.

Ch. 10: The Mark of a Ho?

The bell rang, and Buffy sprinted through the door, plopping into her seat and avoiding the reproving glances of her teacher. Willow tried to catch her eye, but Buffy was too busy trying to gather herself together and focus on getting into school mode.

As the class continued, she saw a note dropped onto her desk from Willow.

"Where were you first and second period? And lunch? What happened? Are you okay?" Buffy read. She rubbed her eyes and wrote back.

"Yeah, long night. Kinda stayed out late with Angel. I'll tell more later?" She folded up the note and handed it back to Willow. She still hadn't told Willow much about her rapidly developing relationship with Angel, and she didn't much feel like it now. It seemed odd to her; in talking about her crush on Spike, she would spend hours and hours, making Willow begin to gag with the overflow of Spike homage. With Angel, she simply didn't feel like talking about him. She had a sneaking suspicion that Willow wouldn't like Angel much, especially after she told her about the last 24 hours. Amazingly, Angel had convinced her to skip school and have brunch with him. He'd picked her up at the time that she would normally leave for school, and they had spent the morning at the bistro he'd mentioned earlier. They'd eaten and chatted, and then they'd made out in his car. All the food and fondling had made her tired, and she didn't want to deal with the repercussions of her impulsive actions. Before Willow could make eye contact with her, she started taking notes and tried to lose herself in her school work.

***

The end of school finally came, and Buffy collapsed at a table in the library to wait for Willow; they were supposed to meet there to grab some books and then hang out at her house for some much neglected girl time. She buried her head in her arms, simply tired from trying to focus on what her teachers had been saying for the past hours--and she hadn't even come for the whole day.

"Hey, Buffy. You okay?" Spike said as he approached the girl curled up at the table.

"Huh?" She peeked up, saw it was Spike, and then mumbled an vague answer.

"What'd you say?" He smiled slightly at her mussed hair and weary voice.

"I'm tired. Can't you see I'm tired," Buffy murmured into her arms. She was not quite ready to see Spike, having spent the morning envisioning him while making out with Angel. It was just a little unnerving to deal with the reality; her fantasy world seemed more attractive at the moment. And of course, reality was laughing at her, making Spike want to talk when she didn't want to. She groaned at the irony when she heard him pull up a chair next to her.

"I know you're tired, but I was thinking we should probably figure out a time to meet, since you stood me up yesterday. Mrs. Noxon said she wanted all the groups to turn in a paragraph on what we were planning on doing for tomorrow, to make sure we had started the assignment. Do you think we could meet tonight? I could come over around 7."

"Sure. That's fine," Buffy said quietly, trying to avoid eye contact. She was too exhausted to figure out why he was being so nice.

"Where were you this morning?" Spike tried to ask nonchalantly, but he was actually concerned. Buffy had never missed a day of school, and she did look a bit unwell.

"I was--Willow!" Buffy said excitedly, looking for a way to get out of lying about her absence. She jumped up and gave her a hug.

Willow looked a little surprised but hugged her friend anyway. "Hey, Buffy. Hey, Spike. What's up?" Willow dropped her heavy backpack to the floor and slumped into a chair. "Too many books."

Buffy slid back into her seat and asked, "What books do we have to get? Is it as bad as you're making it out to be?"

"Much, much worse. Mr. Flutie decided to assign a research paper, and we have to have ten sources. Ten sources! It's craziness! I mean, doesn't he realize that, well, we don't want to find ten sources? Even I think it's a little much. And we also have that English project. Not to mention all the regular tests we've been having in Calc and Physics. I just feel like my brain is going to explode, and not in a good learning-makes-me-happy way. More like a too-much-studying-is-bad way." Willow sighed. "But we have to just throw ourselves into it."

Buffy rubbed her eyes and then her temples. "Well, then, let's do it." She threw her hair back and tied it into a messy pile on top of her head. "I've got my study hair. Point me in the right direction."

Willow and Spike just stared at her.

"What? What are you guys looking at?" Buffy began to grow a little self-conscious.

"Looks like I know what you were doing this morning," Spike mumbled to himself.

"Huh?" Buffy remained oblivious.

"Um, Buffy?" Willow ventured slowly. "You have hickeys on your neck."

"What?!? I do not!" Buffy tried to look at her neck but--obviously--couldn't see anything. Her face began to grow red, and her fears jumped when she saw Willow's face. Buffy leaped to her feet and ran out of the library.

"Buffy, wait!" Willow called out. She immediately moved to follow her but then paused. "Spike, can you find these books for me? Please? I'll be right back. Thanks." Willow gave him a neatly printed list and then ran out after Buffy.

"Huh? How did I get stuck doing research?" Spike shut his eyes, sighed, and then got up to start finding the books.

***

"I'm a ho! I'm a ho, Willow!" Buffy sobbed as she rubbed her neck, as if she could rub away the marks.

"No, you're not." Willow patted Buffy's back, trying to comfort her while trying to grasp how her kiss-virgin friend now had hickeys up and down her neck.

Buffy hiccupped. "No, you don't understand. I skipped school this morning to be with Angel. Only hos skip school to go meet their boyfriends. And I made out in the car. How utterly ho-ish is that?" Buffy sulked and whined as she splashed water on her heated face. "I don't even know what's going on. I don't even like him that much. You're right when you said it was only because he said I was beautiful. Now even that's not enough. But for some reason he likes me, and that makes me do all these stupid things. Like skipping school. What if my mom finds out? And what if she sees these things on my neck? How am I going to cover them up? And did everyone else see them?" Buffy began crying again, holding onto the sink for support.

"Buffy, don't cry. You're not a ho." Willow pulled her up and faced her. "You're not a ho. But maybe you should break things off with him. You don't need him to tell you you're beautiful. You are. But it doesn't sound like he's worth skipping school and getting hickeys for." Willow brushed away some of her tears and hugged her. "Don't cheat yourself."

Buffy held onto her friend and tried to still her crying. "I know. It's just hard, now that you have a boyfriend. You're so happy, and Oz is so perfect for you. We used to be together in the whole 'No one thinks I'm beautiful' whine. And now you have someone, and it's harder to keep that up on my own." She sniffed loudly and reached for some toilet paper. "It's stupid for me to make out with Angel. It's just that I never made out with anyone. And it did feel good. He was a nice kisser. He made me feel pretty. But I don't really like him that much. If he didn't like me, I don't think I would've given him a second look. And then that makes me feel even worse." She blew her nose loudly and then threw her tissue towards the trash can, missing it completely.

"Just be honest with him. And then be happy just being you. If Nerdy Willow can date Oz the band guitarist, then Puffy Buffy can date someone just as cool. It's all about being okay with being Puffy Buffy. Except you're not Puffy, but I was just trying to make the comparison parallel, you know, grammatically?"

"I love you, Willow, you know that?" Buffy said, her pout slightly less obvious. "Now let's go get some ice cream."

"Actually, I can't do it after school today. I just got a note from the office saying Mom wants me to meet her at her work to help her with some things. I'm sorry. Maybe tomorrow?" she said as they exited the bathroom.

"Okay. I guess I can eat ice cream by myself." Buffy smiled and tried to get herself back in place.

When they returned to the library, Spike was bringing the last book to the table.

"You're the best, Spike. Thank you so much. We'll all benefit from this. I promise," Willow said, eagerly poring over the books Spike had gathered. "Oh, I gotta run. I'll see you guys tomorrow?" she said behind a large stack of books.

"Yeah, okay, Wills," Buffy said. "God, I hope she doesn't hurt herself." She then turned to face Spike, who was packing his stuff up. "Leaving?"

"Yeah, got things to do. Looks like you had things to do yourself," he said, his voice heavily implying sexual escapades.

Buffy flinched at the obvious insinuation, and it angered her, her emotions already raw from her crying and self-consciousness. "What the hell do you care?"

"I don't." Spike cringed a little when he heard the harshness in his voice, but the words had just come out as a reflex to her biting tone. He hadn't meant to be so mean, but she always seemed to bring it out in him, and he wasn't exactly happy that she had been messing around with that stupid college guy.

Buffy's eyes saddened for a moment and then hardened to a dark green. She narrowed her eyes at him and then spat out, "Then I guess this conversation is over." She spun around and walked away quickly.

Buffy walked straight out of the school, her feet pounding against the tiled floor. Her face remained hardened with determination to keep Spike from ungluing her, and she kept it up until she finally found herself in her room. And then she broke. She flung her body onto the bed and hugged Mr. Gordo. Her eyes were slowly filling up with tears, and she curled into a ball, allowing her emotions to wash over her. She was making out with a guy that she didn't totally like and fighting with a guy that she wanted and had wanted since the first day they had been seated next to each other. She was skipping class, getting hickeys, staying out late, and for what? For a guy who was mediocre? A guy who thought she was pretty? Buffy's tears increased as she reflected on the stupidity of her situation, until she finally fell asleep.

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