Ch. 17: Evening Work

"So it was good?" Anya asked.

"It was fabulous." Buffy purred contentedly and then curled her tongue in appreciation of her boyfriend's talents.

"Whoa." And for once, Anya was speechless.

***

"I can't believe you're going to be gone the entire winter break." Buffy pouted, leaning back into Spike's chest. They were comfortably lying on Buffy's bed, taking a break from working on their English project.

He held her close, breathing in her hair and cherishing her warmth. "I know, but I can't do anything about it. Da's been planning this since summertime. And you'll be able to hang with Willow and Oz."

"It's not the same. How fun would it have been to hang out all break, not worrying about school or anything?" She turned to look at him, as if her eyes would convince him to rebel against his father and ditch the trip.

"You know I can't do anything about it, so let's just enjoy the time we have." He kissed her hair and enjoyed the way she fit so perfectly in his arms.

She shifted a little so that she could look up at him. "When are you leaving again?" She ran her fingers gently over his cheeks as she asked. He was just so gorgeous; she never got tired of looking at him, never stopped marveling at how he looked at her with such affection.

He kissed those wandering fingertips before answering. "I'm leaving the first Monday of the break. I was hoping we could spend some time that weekend before I leave? We have to figure out when we're going to do presents and everything." He smiled down at her, eager to give her the ring he'd purchased so long ago. He'd been so tempted to give it to her just for the hell of it, but he didn't want to ruin the Christmas surprise.

"Ah, yes. Presents. I love presents. Have you gotten me anything yet?" she inquired, propping her head up on her elbow. Buffy was still unsure about a gift for him, and she secretly hoped he hadn't gotten anything yet.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he teased, playing with a strand of her hair. "You wanna plan on doing something on Saturday? Maybe we could drive up to the beaches or something, spend the day there."

"Oh, that sounds so nice," she replied. She leaned in to kiss him gently. "I have the best boyfriend."

"Okay," he agreed quickly. Her exaggerated fury at his lack of reciprocation only made him laugh. Before she could pummel him, he swiftly turned and captured her lips while covering her body with his.

Buffy's fists easily turned into roving hands, and she threaded her fingers through his hair, giving it that tousled look she loved so much.

His kissed were slow and tender, playing with her lips and discovering the secret places of her mouth. God, she loved the way he made her skin tingle. She kept their movements slow, knowing that they had to get back to work soon. She moved their bodies a little, pushing him onto his back but not following him. A final kiss, and she rested her chin on his chest, giving him a smile of contentment.

"Does that mean this break is over?" He noted her nod and tried not to sigh too loudly. He sat up further and reached for their notes. "We do have a lot to do before tomorrow."

Buffy grimaced as she thought about how much they still had to do. "I can't believe we waited till the last minute to do this." She grabbed her notebook and listlessly looked over her papers.

"We didn't--we were just unproductive in our time together--well, in the school sense, anyway." He smirked and dodged her playful punch.

"At least we taped most of it already. We just need to finish editing it and type up the paper," she muttered, pulling her body off the bed and moving towards the computer.

"I know it's not much, but I have so little motivation. I think you need to give me some incentive," Spike purred, stretching out sexily on her bed.

"Oh, yeah?" she replied coyly, leaning forward and biting her lip, playing up that innocent sexuality that he seemed to enjoy so much. Of course, she felt kind of silly trying to be sexy in a pair of sweats and an ugly gym t-shirt from her middle school, but he didn't seem to mind. Before she could throw back her hair sexily, he'd pounced on her, picking her up and pinning her down on the bed. He hadn't been satisfied by their break, and what had begun as simple fun had quickly escalated into heavy breathing and nibbling.

Buffy indulged him for a little bit, kissing him thoroughly and rubbing her hands up and down his back. But when he started caressing her skin underneath her shirt, she pushed him away abruptly.

Spike landed on his back, his mouth still slightly open and curled in a kiss. His eyes were hazy, and the confusion on his face was so adorable that she was tempted to go back and start things up again. However, the nagging student in her came out victorious.

"Spike, we really have to finish this project, and I don't want to stay up all night doing it."

"No all-nighters? But they're so much fun," he drawled, moving towards her with a seductive look on his face.

She allowed him to put his arms around her, but she turned and gave him a look of resolution. "You want incentive? We finish the presentation first, and then I'll give you a personal presentation," she purred, licking her lips. And then she began to giggle.

Already turned on, her words were hardening him even further. But her giggles confused him. "What are you playing at? What's with the giggles?"

"I'm sorry," she said, trying to control her laughter. "I just feel so stupid trying to play sexy. It just doesn't come naturally for me." She shrugged and placed a quick kiss on his lips. "You must bring it out in me."

"Well, as long as you're not laughing at me. And I'm more than willing to bring out the sexiness in you--just don't bring it out for anyone else. I'm the jealous type."

"Ooh, are you? That's good to know. Now let's get going on this project. The faster we finish, the faster we can start." She waggled her eyebrows at him and then began laughing again.

"You just wait till we're done. I'll wipe that smirk off your face," he retorted as he plopped onto his bed and returned to their notes, preparing to tell her what to type.

Turning to the keyboard, Buffy replied, "I can't wait. Now give it to me." She laughed again, giving him a quick wink, and then began working in earnest.

***

It was now 2 a.m., and Spike and Buffy had switched places. He was now on the computer, editing their movie, since she had finished the written portion of their project. They were both perfectionists when it came to their work, but Buffy was slowly losing her standards as time ticked away.

"So you think this music works, or should I change it to something a little more upbeat?" Spike questioned, his eyes never leaving the screen.

"God, I don't care. I think everything you've done so far is fine." She stretched and yawned loudly before plopping her head onto a pillow.

"Oh, come on. We've just got a little more to do." Spike played with the settings and the various options while the clip played over and over again.

"I think it's perfect, and don't you want to finish so we can start a little play of our own?" she said in a voice that would have been sexy had it not been broken by a huge, unattractive yawn.

He looked over at her and laughed. "You're right. I think we're finally done. Save. Burn to CD," he mumbled to himself, inserting a blank cd and checking one last time that everything was done. "Now while that's burning--" he purred, turning to look at her. He chuckled when he saw her sleeping body sprawled out on the bed. He was constantly amazed at her ability to fall asleep in the middle of a conversation or during a car ride to the mall. She was so cute, her eyes screwed shut and her mouth making little pouting actions while dreams played over her face. Kneeling beside her bed, he kissed her forehead and brushed her hair out of her face. He tucked her inside the covers, marveling at how little she was, and then retrieved the completed CD. Gathering his notes and the final project, he shut everything down and turned off the light. He scribbled a little note and left it on her wall, right next to his last note. Kissing her one last time, he left the room.

***

When Buffy awoke the next morning, her mouth felt filmy and gross. "Ew, I must have fallen asleep without brushing. And without saying goodnight to Spike." She pouted as she pulled herself out of bed. She looked around to see if he'd left a note or anything, and finally she spotted the new quote above her bed.

Sleep dwell upon thine eyes, peace in thy breast!

Romeo and Juliet
Act II, scene ii

Sleep tight--I'll be your peace in the morning.

She giggled at his lame attempt to be seductive and then trotted off to the bathroom to get ready for school.

Ch. 18: The Perfect Gift

A/N: The song is original, but remember--Spike is in high school and his songs are going to be fairly immature in nature. Try not to cringe too much, and look at the emotions behind it.
---

Buffy slid her fingers over the bookshelves, her brow furrowed in thought. "But I'm just not sure whether a book is what I want to get him."

Willow sighed. They'd been shopping for 2 hours already, and still Buffy had no idea about what to get Spike. She patted Buffy's back reassuringly and said, "I'm sure he'll love whatever you buy."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean it's a good present. You know how much I obsess over presents. I just want it to be perfect."

"Maybe we should sit down and get some sort of game plan going so we're not just wandering aimlessly around the mall," Willow offered, her feet starting to ache.

"Okay. Coffee?" Buffy asked, moving away from the books.

"Yes, please. The caffeine will surely help you figure things out." Willow smiled, and the two girls tiredly left the book store.

***

"Tell me you did buy something," Anya demanded. "You guys have been at the mall for four hours." Anya had met up with the girls at the diner for dinner, and they were now seated in a booth drinking milkshakes and eating burgers.

Buffy glared at her, letting her eyes do the talking. She chewed on a fry, keeping her eyes on Anya.

"Oh my god. It's a Christmas present. How hard can it be?"

"Clearly, you do not understand the importance of a Christmas present," Buffy answered sullenly.

"Oh come on. He's a guy. Buy him some clothes. Or better yet, buy yourself some clothes. You know, like a pretty lingerie piece. That way it's for him, but you get something in the deal as well." Anya smiled, happy with her idea.

"No, you don't understand. I just want this gift to be really thoughtful, honest, just plain wonderful. This is the first time I've ever had a boyfriend to give a gift to. It's gotta be perfect," she stated.

Willow smiled sympathetically. "I know you want it to be perfect, but you can't kill yourself over this. Do you see how happy he is with you? You're perfect. You're the gift. He really is going to love anything you give him."

Making designs in her ketchup with a fry, Buffy sighed loudly. "I guess. I mean, I guess I know that, but it doesn't change my mind. I just have to go back to the stores. You don't have to come with, Wills. You've been around enough with me." She shrugged and then popped the fry into her mouth.

"So then what are you going to do?" Willow asked, rubbing her sore feet.

"I think I'm just gonna go home. We're exchanging gifts this weekend, so I still have some time. When are you and Xander leaving?" Buffy asked as she turned to Anya.

"Oh! We're leaving Saturday morning for Cancun. Isn't it exciting? I'm so glad my parents finally relented and let me bring a friend. Xander's supposed to be sharing a room with Andrew, but I'm sure we'll be able to work something out. Our rooms are adjoining, and my parents are on a different floor because they wanted a luxury suite and didn't feel like splurging on us. It'll be fabulous!" Her eyes sparkled in anticipation.

"That's really cool that you guys are going to be together this break. I wish Spike didn't have to go to London," Buffy said wistfully.

"It's only a week, and you can come hang out with me and Oz," Willow offered.

"But you guys will want to hang out alone. I would," Buffy whined. She didn't want to whine, but the thought of Spike being in a different county the entire break was just starting to wear her down.

"Really, it'll be fun. Don't hole yourself up the entire break. We'll have fun."

The girls continued to chat lightheartedly and finish their burgers, and Buffy tried not to obsess about Spike's gift.

***

Saturday finally came, and Buffy was getting ready for her date with Spike. She was a little edgy, her gift hiding in her purse with unspoken expectations. Would he like it? She shook those questions away and tried to focus on her present dilemma. Still clad in her robe, she stood in front of the closet, wondering what to wear. Something fancy? No, they were going to the beach. Casual? Yes, but not sloppy. Mini-skirt? That always worked. She pulled out the pink mini-skirt that flounced prettily and showed off her tan legs. Now what to wear on top?

The doorbell rang. "Mom, could you get that?" Buffy yelled from her bedroom, holding her skirt in one hand and rummaging through her shirts with the other.

"I'll get it!" Dawn yelled out, clambering down the stairs. She knew Buffy still wasn't ready, and of course Spike wouldn't want to wait all alone. She had to enjoy his hotness sometimes. Smoothing her hair back, she flung open the door and put on her best, bored teenager look. "Hey."

Spike flashed a charming smile at the girl and didn't let on that he could see her nervous blush spreading across her young face. "Hey there, Nibblet."

Dawn closed the door after he entered the house and internally squealed at the way his voice and his pet name for her. She followed him into the living room and sat in a chair nearby, showing off her long legs as she crossed them and then sat back to stare at him without shame.

"So, crashed any good parties lately?" Spike asked, referring to that night of Questions where she and Andrew had burst in on their little get together.

Dawn blushed and was about to reply with some witty comeback when Buffy came down the stairs--and Spike stopped paying attention to her. Huffing, she left the room quickly, trying not to stomp, and muttered some unintelligible insult while passing Buffy on the stairs.

Buffy stared at her sister's departing form in confusion and then turned to Spike. "What did you say to her?" she asked, motioning towards the girl as she neared her boyfriend. Pulling him in for a quick kiss, she added, "She looks a little annoyed. You know she has a crush on you. Did you tease her? "

"Only a little, but wait." He kissed her again, fully and thoroughly, lazily playing with her tongue.

"Ooh, what did I do to deserve such a nice welcome?" she teased, drawing back and caressing his cheeks.

He leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose. "You just look so lovely, in your sexy mini-skirt. I just had to show you." He was about to lean in and kiss her again until he realized that Mrs. Summers had entered the living room. "Hi, Mrs. Summers. How are you?" He tried to pull away a little, slightly embarrassed by their closeness.

Buffy turned and smiled at her mom, her hands intertwining with his to keep him from going too far. "Hey, Mom. We're about to leave for the beach. Probably won't be back till late." She started towards the door, taking Spike with her.

Joyce smiled at the two, remembering the excitement of young love. "Just make you're not out too late. Call if you need anything."

"Okay. Bye!" Buffy called out as she left.

"Bye, Mrs. Summers. I'll make sure she's not back too late." He waved awkwardly, Buffy dragging him out the door.

"I know you will. Have fun," she said, closing the door behind them.

***

"So, what do we have here?" Buffy intoned as she noticed all the stuff in the backseat of his car. "Guitar, picnic basket, blankets...Are you trying to seduce me?" She giggled, throwing her head back and letting the wind brush her hair back.

"Trying? I don't have to try," Spike teased. "I just brought a few things for us to play with. Nothing big." He glanced at her, the way she was totally relaxed with him, her smile bright and warm. He grinned broadly, appreciating the sight of his girl, and snaked his hand over to hers.

When they arrived at the beach, they grabbed their things and headed for a more deserted area. It wasn't too crowded, but there were enough people to force them to wander around a little before finding a semi-solitary area.

"Wow, looks like a lot of people are taking advantage of the great weather." She plopped down the blanket and her bag before plopping down herself.

He arranged his guitar and basket on top of the blanket to avoid getting sand everywhere and then joined her, kicking off his shoes. "I guess I won't be able to go through with that seduction after all, unless you're into people watching," he kidded.

She blushed and then hit him. "Hey, who said I was going to let you seduce me?"

Spike gave her a pointed look before pouncing on her. He started nibbling on her neck, making her make kittenish whimpers at the sensations his tongue was creating. "Make me stop," he murmured, his head buried in her scent.

"Stop," she protested weakly, thoroughly enjoying his fluttering touches.

He sat back on his heels and grinned at her. "Yeah, I can see how you don't want me." He chuckled at her pouts and then turned to unload the picnic basket. "Just give me a sec to get out all the goodies. I know you're hungry."

"Fine." She reached forward to help him, squealing at all the goodies she found: strawberries, chocolate, little sandwiches, chocolate, vegetables with dip, chocolate...

He smiled as she oohed and aahed over all that he had packed--and he had packed a lot. "Yeah, I know there's enough for an army, but I figured it's always better to have more than less."

"Definitely!" Buffy exclaimed, her mouth already smudged with a chocolate bonbon she'd stolen while unpacking the basket.

"God, you're so adorable." He watched as she licked her lips and then sucked on her fingers for every last remnant of chocolate. "And if I weren't so hungry, I'd be eating you right now."

"Glad to know where I stand in your list of priorities," she said dryly. "Does that mean I can dig in?"

He handed her a paper plate and a napkin. "Go for it, pet." He piled his own plate with food and then settled comfortably next to her. The sun was bright, but a cool breeze kept it from being too warm. The soft sounds of the ocean, the muted chatter of other beach bums, and the occasional squawk of seagulls simply created the soundtrack for his time with Buffy. It was wonderful, being with her on this beautiful day.

They ate, chatted, and enjoyed each other's company and the food.

"So, when are we going to do presents?" Buffy asked, biting into a luscious strawberry.

"You're doing that just to tease me, aren't you?" Spike said with a glazed look on his face.

"Hey, you brought the food. I'm just eating it." She sexily swept her tongue over her lips to catch the red juices--and then began giggling.

Cuteness and sexiness all rolled up in one--he leaned in and kissed her gently, tasting the strawberries on her mouth. "Okay. Before I get carried away, presents it is." He kissed her one more time and then reached for his guitar.

"Ooh, musical present?" Buffy asked, wiping her hands on her napkin and putting their trash into a bag. "Are you going to serenade me?"

"Do you want me to?" he asked as he opened the case and pulled out his instrument.

"You know how much I love your voice," she said, sitting with her legs crossed, eagerly awaiting what he had in store.

"Well, I do have a little something for you, a kind of pre-present song, if you will." He grinned while tuning his guitar, going through those natural motions that all musicians did to prepare. He cleared his throat, shifted the guitar in his lap, and then looked at Buffy.

She blushed under the intensity of his stare. He hadn't even begun to play, and she was already turned on. She ran her fingers nervously through her hair.

"Well, I wrote this song. For you, actually." He looked a little nervous, fidgeting with the pick in his hand. "I don't want you to think I'm this total sap or anything, but the song just came to me. I've never written a song for anyone before."

"Really?" Buffy commented, hugging her knees to her chest. He was so adorable, stuttering timidly. For her! She bit her lip and tried not to attack him with kisses; that would be for afterwards. Instead, she held herself tightly and waited to hear his lovely voice.

He strummed his guitar a few times, wanting to dispel the nerves that were making his fingers slightly shaky. Silly that he was so nervous, since he'd been playing the guitar for so long, but he'd never written a song that was so intimate to him, to his own personal feelings. He glanced at her and she smiled back, urging him on. Taking a deep breath, he began to sing.

I carry your picture with me everywhere
Sun-ripened lips, silky hair tickling me
Eyes of soft yearning and body of sweets
Fingers of tenderness, arms holding me

You make me
Warm with affection
Hot with desire
Lazy with loving
And
Roaring with fire

It's not poetry
Necessarily
But I can't help wanting to
Love you with words that are
Only the shadows of
All that you are
To me

Buffy's mouth was slightly parted, in complete and utter awe of the man before her. He had written that for her? For nerdy Buffy Summers? She had to blink away the tears that were starting to creep up on her--and to remind herself that this was her reality and not some dream that was taunting her. How long had she wanted Spike to just look at her--and now he was writing a song for her! She was totally speechless.

Letting the final note ring out over the ocean's crashing waves, he kept his eyes closed a little longer. As much as he'd wanted to see her reaction throughout the song, he just wasn't strong enough. He'd sang his heart out with his eyes shut, and now that the song was over, he was starting to feel even more nervous than before. Did she not like the song? Keeping his head down, he carefully opened his eyes. Still, she said nothing. Clearing his throat, he said cautiously, "Uh, did you like it?"

She muttered something inarticulate, still unable to form words. She closed her eyes, breathed in to suppress the tears that were threatening to spill, and then murmured, "Like it? Are you kidding? It's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. You wrote that for me?" She crawled forward as she spoke, needing to be nearer to him.

"I did. I know we haven't been dating for that long, but I don't know...it just feels so right. I'm falling in love with you." He finally got the courage to look up, and he was met with two damp hazel eyes gazing at him with amazement and love. His breath caught in his throat, and he felt his own eyes watering in response.

"I can't even begin to tell you how much this means to me," she breathed, cupping his face with her hands. She brought him closer and kissed him tenderly, her entire spirit embracing him with her gentleness.

His entire body felt suffused by her love, his skin just tingling with that precious yet curious ache of feeling loved. It roiled in his stomach and swept over him. He put aside his guitar and pulled her fully into his arms.

She gasped as her body came in contact with his--that spark of desire never ceased to surprise and delight her. Every time he touched her, she felt that inner fire flaming and rising up to meet his touch. Her insides trembled and her skin sang. She loved the way he made her feel.

Their kisses melted into a warm, tight embrace, and Spike murmured, "Merry Christmas."

"I love you, too," she whispered. They shared an intimate smile, foreheads touching and arms embracing. "Oh, but I have to give you your gift!" She reached awkwardly for her bag, not wanting to leave his arms, and pulled it close.

"I still have your gift. That was just a pre-present song, remember?" His body was finally starting to unwind, though there were still thrills reverberating in his body.

"How am I supposed to compete with you? I don't have a pre-present song," she moaned, pouting.

"Oh, I'm sure we'll figure something out." He smirked at her and then nipped her lightly on the neck.

"Down, boy. Let me give you your gift." She reached into her bag and pulled out a small box.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a similarly sized box. "Hmm. Hope we didn't give each other the same thing.

Buffy's eyes widened in surprise. "Whoa. Coincidence? You open yours first." She held it out to him and held her breath. She'd obsessed so much about the gift that she was sure he would hate it.

He placed her gift on the blanket and then opened what she gave him. It was a jewelry box, and he cocked one eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be on one knee?"

"Just open it," she retorted. His slow movements were only dragging out her torture. Biting her lip out of habit, she watched him open the lid. "It's a Thai spin ring. And the design is of Celtic knots," she babbled before he could even react to the gift.

He slid the ring on a finger, and it fit perfectly. It was a large silver ring with intricate designs, and the outer ring spun around. "Wow, that's really cool. And it looks so cool on my hand, don't you think? All manly and hot. And I just lost my favorite ring." He held out his hand for her to see.

"Yeah, I know. So I thought I could give you one to replace it." She still wasn't sure if he liked it or not, so she sat stiffly, trying to perceive his real reaction. She added, "A Thai spin ring is supposed to be calm and meditative--they believed that when you spun a wheel the gods would hear your prayers. And so it's supposed to bring luck or something. And the Celtic knots? Well, there's no confirmed meaning of them beyond the idea that everything is connected. So I figured I could just make up my own meaning for it. I remember the first time we kissed, how we walked under the stars and talked about the beauty of the world and I was just remembering that and thinking maybe when you spun the ring and saw all the knots you'd think of how we were connected and--"

Spike interrupted her ramblings with a kiss. "Buffy, I love it. It's perfect. And I will think of you, and how lucky I am, and how our lives are intertwined. It's really perfect." He kissed her again, allowing his lips to reassure her of how much he treasured her thoughtful gift.

"Really?" Buffy whispered, still a bit incredulous.

He kissed her again and stared intently into her eyes. "Really. I love what it means--even though I don't need a ring to think of you--I love that there's such beautiful thoughts behind it. I really do love it," he reassured her.

She played with his fingers, letting the ring spin around. "It looks nice on you."

"You have impeccable taste. And it fits perfectly." He watched her expression, wanting to know that was at peace.

"It does, doesn't it?" she commented, a genuine smile finally breaking across her face.

He kissed her cheek and then said, "Now you have to open my gift." He handed her the box.

"The song was such a wonderful gift by itself," she murmured, carefully pulling off the tape and unwrapping the gift meticulously.

"Oh, just rip it already," he complained.

"Patience." She finally pried open the lid--and revealed the very ring she'd been pining over since the craft fair. "Oh my god! Oh my god!" she squealed, throwing her arms around him and giving him a huge, sloppy kiss. "How did you know? Oh my god!" She slid the ring onto her finger and then flashed it around, loving the way the sunlight caught in its pattern.

He enjoyed her excitement and simply held her in his lap. "Oh, I'm sneaky like that. It was pretty hard not giving it to you early, though."

"Wait, you bought it all the way back then?" She stared at him in astonishment. "You thought we'd..." Her voice trailed off as she gazed at him.

"Luv, look at my track record. I don't date for fun. I date when there's someone I want, when I think things will work out. You, baby, are the one I want." He leaned in licked that luscious lower lip. "I wasn't going to let you get away that quickly."

She caught his lip and sucked on it before kissing him fully and then snuggled in his lap. "I have the best boyfriend in the world."

He smiled down at her and memorized the way her body molded against hers. It was going to be a long week without her. Not wanting to dwell on that, he simply held her in his arms and watched the beautiful sunset before them.

Ch. 19: Playing Telephone

Buffy looked at herself in the mirror for the fiftieth time that day. She carefully brushed her lips with shiny gloss, ran her fingers through her hair, flung it back to make sure it was soft and touchable (because Spike liked her hair), turned round and round to make sure her outfit perfectly accentuated her curves without looking slutty—and then sat down again to wait for Spike to come over. When the doorbell rang, she shot up, did another round of checks, stopped for a moment because the twirling and abrupt movements (along with her jitterbugging heart) were starting to make her dizzy, and then nonchalantly strolled down the stairs. She licked her lips one last time and then threw open the door.

And there was Anya. Tear-streaked, red-nosed, and suddenly in her arms, sobbing into her shoulder. Buffy pushed down her feelings of disappointment that it wasn't Spike and did her best to comfort her friend.

They entered the house, and somehow Buffy maneuvered her hysterical friend over to the couch. She waited patiently, handing her tissues and rubbing her back reassuringly.

When she finally got control of her breathing, Anya attempted to explain. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I just needed someone to talk to." Sighing dramatically, she launched into her brief explanation. "Xander broke up with me!" she wailed, starting to cry again.

Buffy sat with her mouth gaping. "What?!? How is that possible?" she asked, her brow furrowed in confusion. Her questions were drowned out by Anya's renewed sobbing, resulting in Buffy's damp shoulder. They sat that way for a while, Buffy doing her best to calm her friend's nerves. "It'll be okay," she murmured. "I'm sure things will work out for you." Suppressing her curiosity, she merely sat and waited to hear the details.

"I just don't get what happened," Anya whispered as she brushed away the hair starting to stick to her teary face. "I mean, I thought we were having such a wonderful time at the beach, but I guess Xander just hated it." She sniffed loudly and took a deep breath, preparing herself for the story. "We were sharing a room, you know, because my brother let us switch, and then it was just like we were living together. Like we were married. You know?" Her lip quivered as she recalled the memories. "And I would choose what outfit for him to wear, and he would tell me which outfit looked the best on me, and then we would use the bathroom together, and all of that! I don't understand what could've gone wrooonnng!" she sobbed, throwing herself back into Buffy's arm with renewed bawling.

Of course, at that very moment, the doorbell rang. Hesitant to disengage herself but giddy over the prospect of seeing Spike, she contemplated how to get up without making Anya feel unwanted. She didn't have to think for long, because Dawn came sailing down the stairs.

"I'll get it!" she said sweetly. Smoothing her hair and putting on her nonchalant face, Dawn swung open the door and leaned slightly against it, her long legs curving nicely.

"Hey, bit," Spike said affectionately as he ruffled her hair a little. He didn't notice her look of bitterness in his eagerness to see Buffy. "Hey, what--?" He gave Buffy a look of confusion as he heard Anya blow her nose into her friend's shirt.

Buffy smiled weakly and shrugged a little. It wasn't the ideal situation, but he looked so fabulous that she just drank in his body for a while.

He came over and gave Buffy a quick kiss on the mouth before plopping down on the sofa. "Hey, An. What's--"

"No, don't you pretend like you don't know what's going on." She swiftly turned to stare at him, red-faced and angry. "You're his friend and you probably brainwashed him into thinking that we were better off apart. You!" She began smacking him on the thighs and chest, her tears blinding her aim but not lessening her strength.

"Ow! Anya, stop!" Spike jumped up from the couch and began rubbing his chest. "What's the matter with you? I don't know what you're--"

"No! I won't listen. Buffy, get him out of here." Anya began to cry again. "Please, Buffy, just make him go away." She threw her body onto the couch and buried her head in a pillow.

Anya's suffering soul lay on the cushions, and Spike's lean, hard body stood waiting to be tasted. But friendship had always come first, damn it. She stood and gave him a kiss, and Spike knew who had won.

"So, does this mean I won't even get to see you today?" he said, sighing, knowing it was impossible to avoid Anya's wails.

"I don't know." Buffy leaned and whispered, "She just got here, so she may need a little time. Can I call you later?"

He nodded and then brought her close for a hug. "God, but you feel good. You're just making this more difficult." He kissed her again and then quickly turned away. "Yeah, call me when you can." Squeezing her hand, he gave her a quick smile and then left.

Buffy tried not to let the scrunching of her heart keep her from comforting Anya. She pushed away all thoughts of Spike and focused on making her friend feel better.

--

"What do you mean, you just broke up? Gotta give me more than that." He lit a cigarette and waited for Xander to respond.

"You know, I guess I just got to thinking. Going away with her family, seeing her act all wife-y with the clothes and the sleeping and waking up, the demanding and the nagging and the expecting...it just got to be too much. I'm in high school, for Chrissake. I'm barely an adult, and Anya's already telling me what to wear? It was just scary." He slammed the stick into the cue ball and sighed as it thumped over the bank and onto the floor. He reached down to pick it up and began tossing it into the air. "I know everyone's going to think I'm an asshole for breaking up with her, but isn't it better now than later? I mean, who knows how long we would've lasted. And then if that's what it's going to be like, married...ugh." He shuddered.

"I understand what you're saying, but you sure she was all that? You don't think it was just the stress of going away with her family and all?" He motioned for the stick and began setting up his shot.

"Oh, you know how Anya can get. She's a total control freak. You remember planning the party, right?" He gave Spike a pointed look and then took a swig of soda. "She's just too structured for me. I like hanging out. Letting loose. Wearing baggy clothes. She's already trying to change me. I feel like I'm too young for all that shit."

"I guess she can be pretty intense. Anyway, I'm here for ya, man. If you need some time or want to hang out, just holler." He reached out and patted Xander on the back as they moved around the pool table.

"Thanks. I appreciate that. We'll see how it goes."

Xander shrugged and tried to pretend like it was nothing, like breaking up with his girlfriend of many months was nothing, but his unsteady stroke said otherwise. Spike noted Xander's movements but said nothing. He just blew a cloud of smoke into the air and hoped both of them were okay.

--

He had been dreaming of kissing Buffy, stroking her hair and running his hands over her ass when her pussy began vibrating against his thigh. She laughed at him but kept on vibrating. Finally he woke, his phone pulsing in his pocket.

He shook his head, clearing his mind of his dreams, and answered the phone. "Hello?" he mumbled.

"Oh, did I wake you? I'm sorry," Buffy whispered into the phone. "I know it's late, but I didn't want to go to sleep without talking to you. Go ahead and sleep."

"No, no, I'm awake. I'm glad you called. It's good to hear your voice." He willed himself awake and sat up in bed, shifting the phone to the other ear. "How's she doing?"

"Oh, she's had better days. Were you able to talk to Xander?" Buffy brushed her hair back, glancing at the way her face flushed at the sound of his voice.

Spike stifled a yawn and scratched his chest. "Yeah, I did. He pretends like it's no big, but he's hurting. I don't think he knew how much breaking up was going to affect him. Not sure how things are going to turn out, to be honest."

"I know." Buffy climbed into bed and snuggled into her pillow. "Anya's pretty bad. She was gonna sleep over, but at the last minute she decided she'd rather be in her own bed. She left about ten minutes ago." Buffy reached out to turn off her light.

"You're a good friend." He smiled in the dark and pictured her beautiful face. "Are you tired?"

"Yeah, totally. Being a good friend is hard work." She giggled a little. "But it's nice unwinding with you. I'm glad you're not asleep."

"Are you all ready for bed?"

"Yup. I'm in my PJs and in bed. I didn’t waste any time." She imagined the way he looked talking on the phone, that sexy smile of his creeping across his face. "Are you in bed?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm in bed and you're in bed...What PJs are you wearing?" he joked, teasing her but wondering as well.

Buffy's heart began speeding up. "Oh, I'm just wearing a tank top and panties. You wanna guess which ones?" It'd been too long since they'd spoken, and she couldn't resist flirting.

"Well, am I going to like them? Because if I don't, I might make you take them off." He licked his lips, picturing her little ass in panties, and began running his hand across his chest.

She laughed a little and then stretched out her legs, feeling her blanket rub against her skin. "Actually, I'm not sure if you'll like them or not. They're new. They're red, and they say, 'vixen' on the butt." Not true--she was wearing white cotton panties, but she could play the game as well as he could.

His cock jumped at her innocent voice suddenly lowering and whispering "vixen" into his ear. His hand wandered lower, sliding against his thighs and his cock. "You naughty girl. You've been shopping without me."

Buffy smiled a little and played along. "I know. I should've waited, but I couldn't. Should I take them off?" She bit her lip, waiting to see how far they were going to take it.

Spike closed his eyes and pictured her body, sprawled on her bed, waiting for him. He was so hard it hurt. He breathed in slowly, licked his lips, and said, "Oh, yes. You've been bad, and I think I need to spank you."

His voice curled into the phone and caressed Buffy's body. It beckoned her to be naughty, to lower her voice and let him seduce her, but she wasn't quite confident enough to play that game. She giggled nervously, not quite knowing what to say to that.

His eyes flew open when he heard her tense up and hesitate. No, there was no way he could stop now. He switched tactics quickly and hoped she'd be willing to follow him. "I wish we could've spent more time together today. You looked beautiful, even if I only saw you for five minutes." She had. He'd loved everything about her today, and he had done his best not to be bitter about Anya and Xander's intrusion on their reunion after break.

Buffy warmed up to his compliments, though she wondered why he was so quick to abandon what seemed to be an interesting direction in their conversation. "Yeah, we'll have to make up for it tomorrow. You wanna come over after school?" Her heart began to beat at a normal pace again.

"Definitely. But I miss you." He took a breath, and then took a plunge. "You know what I would do if I were with you right now?"

And then her heart began to race again. "What?" she whispered.

He smiled at her slightly breathy answer. It made him a little more confident, knowing that she was a little more willing. "Well, first I'd give you a proper kiss, you know, to remind you of my lips since we've been apart for so long. Those little kisses I gave you weren't enough.

"I'd never forget your lips." She lightly touched them, recalling the way they heated up whenever he got near. In the far recesses of her mind, she felt that she was about to do something naughty, and that merely got her more excited.

"Well, in case your memory got hazy, I'd kiss you. I'd hold your body, feel your hair, and just kiss you." He imagined her body against his, the way she smelled, the way her heart beat against his chest whenever they kissed. And he began stroking his cock lightly. "Would you like that?"

"Yes, I love the way you kiss me," she said shyly. There was something about honesty that came out when they weren't directly in front of each other. It made her heart sing, knowing that he had imagined their meeting.

Spike's voice lowered a notch. "I would kiss you until your lips were swollen and your cheeks were flushed. And then I'd nibble on your neck, the sweet skin of your neck. Does that sound good?"

Buffy closed her eyes and imagined the way he kissed her, the way his lips skittered across her neck. It was such an amazing feeling. She ran her fingers over her skin, her touches becoming Spike's lips. "Mmhmm," she murmured.

He smiled at the picture in his mind, her body sprawled on her bed and the phone nestled against her ear. "You taste so delicious." His cock was getting harder at the sound of her breathing, and he continued to run his hand around his length. "And I'd taste your breasts, your lovely breasts."

Buffy moaned a little, her hands running over her body and squeezing her nipples as he spoke. His voice was so sexy; just the very sound of him got her panties wet. "Yes, I like that."

"What do you want me to do next?" He loved her breathless answer, but he wanted to know how far she was willing to take it.

She squeezed her eyes shut, took a deep breath, and answered, "I want you to, to, go down on me." He didn't answer at first, and Buffy was afraid she was asking too much, so she quickly added, "You know, while I do the same for you."

Spike groaned and shut his eyes tightly. His hand was firmly wrapped around his cock, and he had almost strangled himself at her words. God, he had the best girlfriend in the world! "Oh, baby, I'd love to do that. I wish I could be there to do that right now. Do you think you could help me out, and I can do the same?"

She knew what he was asking, and her hands were already sweating from their earlier words. But her hand had already wandered down there--it was just a matter of admitting it. "Okay," she whispered. And down her hand went, into her panties, searching for wetness. She breathed in quickly when she found it.

He heard her gasp and swiped his thumb over his head, catching its pre-cum. "I love the way you feel, the way you taste. I love that I give you pleasure."

Buffy was so lost in the pleasure that she took a while to respond. She slowed down a little and said quietly, "I love wrapping my tongue around you, the way you jump when I touch you." She bit her lip, hoping her words didn't sound stupid.

"Oh, god, you're so--" his words broke off by his quickened pants. Imagining her mouth on him, tasting him and loving it--the image was almost too much. "Are you close?"

She slid her fingers up against her clit and gasped at the luscious sensations zinging through her. His breathiness also made her hot, and she breathed, "Yeah, yeah." She tightened her thighs against her hand and searched for that cliff to jump off of.

Spike quickened his strokes, the whole time listening to her tiny mews and breaths of pleasure. He imagined her face, eyes screwed shut and breasts heaving as her hand wove through his hair. God, she was so sexy. He could feel himself climbiing, climbing--"Buffy!" he burst out.

"Oh, god, Spike," she whimpered, her clit throbbing against her and her body taut with pleasure.

He lay back, breaths slowing and legs weakening. "God, I missed you, pet." He smiled shyly.

"I missed you, too." She smiled back.

Ch. 20: Stupid Things

Buffy’s face was flushed with embarrassment--how was Spike going to react when he saw her after that conversation? Her eyes kept glancing towards the doors, wondering when he would arrive and take his daily place next to her before the school day came. Time kept passing, and still no Spike. What was happening?

“I’m just going to ignore him completely when I see him. That’s what I should do, right? Not even give him the time of day, right?” Anya asked, her red eyes belying the perky sound of her voice. Buffy’s heart ached a little for her, knowing that she had had a long night--but Buffy also knew that she was only half listening to her friend, who had been talking non-stop about her recent breakup.

“You should just do what comes naturally. If you want to talk to him, maybe you should?” Buffy smiled reassuringly, trying her best to give good advice.

“What? No, I should definitely not talk to him. If anything, he should talk to me. He does not deserve my attention, because he broke up with me, remember?” She clenched a random napkin that had unfortunately come into her hands.

Buffy sighed. There was no way she’d forget that Xander had broken up with her. But where was Spike? They had always spent the mornings together, even before they had begun dating. This was their group’s spot. Understandably, Xander wasn’t there. Did that mean that Spike wasn’t coming either?

The warning bell rang, and the girls began collecting their things to get ready for class. Slowly making their way to the doors, Spike suddenly appeared before her.

Giving Spike a dirty look, Anya muttered, “Ugh, I’ll see you in class, Buffy,” and then stalked away.

Spike, completely unaware of the insult he'd just received, smiled at Buffy, touched her face gently, and gave her a quick kiss. “Hey, sorry I didn’t come earlier. I was chatting with Xander, and he really wanted some company. Is it the same for you?”

Buffy reached out for him and hugged him, ignoring all the comments from the students trying to get around them to go to class. “Yeah, Anya hasn’t stopped talking about it yet. I missed seeing you this morning." She played with his shirt a little and then leaned up to give him another kiss. "I hope you have a good day today." Their lips met again, savoring their connection..

“God, get a room!” Students grumbled as they pushed around the affectionate couple.

Slowly, they pulled away from each other and headed to class.

--

“I can’t believe you’re being so nice to him. He hurt me, Buffy!” Anya said vehemently, poking her in the arm.

“Anya, he’s my friend, and—“

“And what? Aren’t gals supposed to come before guys or whatever the phrase is? You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“I am on your side. What makes you think I’m not?”

“I see the way you and Spike are. He is so on Xander’s side, and you never defend my side! Someone has to hear my side! Especially since Xander won’t,” she muttered to herself before burying her head in her arms. She mumbled something into her arms.

“What?” Buffy slid in next to her, trying to be comforting without letting her annoyance tinge her voice. “I can’t hear you like that.”

Anya rested her face against her arms, completely sprawled on the desk. “I just said that I need someone on my side. I still want him back, and if people just let things rest, he’ll never know—he’ll never get that—“ Her voice broke off as the tears overcame here.

Buffy held her for a while, trying to rub away the tremors of her sobs. “I’m on your side. Don’t worry. We’ll get him back for you. He just doesn’t realize it yet.” Hoping she sounded comforting, Buffy began to concoct a plan to get Xander to realize how much he and Anya belonged together.

--

Hot chocolate in hand, Buffy made herself comfortable on her couch. “So...” she said softly, blowing a little on her mug.

“Yeah? What’s on your mind? You look like something’s bothering you.” Spike rubbed her shoulder, enjoying the feel of her warmth.

Buffy relished the warmth of the cocoa and the boyfriend: the perfect combination. Sighing a little, she began her plaint for Anya. "So, what has Xander said about Anya? I mean, about the whole break-up?"

Spike cocked his eyebrow and leaned back into the couch cushions. "Is that what's on your mind? Really?"

"Yes. Totally. I mean, Anya's really broken up about it all, and I just wanted to know what Xander's thoughts were. It's not like he's going to talk to me about it, and I know he talks to you."

"But you don't think it's wrong if I tell you what he's told me?" Spike asked, his voice tinged with hesitation.

"No, it's not like I'm going to go tell Anya what you tell me. I'm just trying to understand more. You know, so that we can avoid the same thing." She crossed her toes under her legs and hoped he couldn't tell she was slightly lying about the whole not-telling-Anya bit.

Spike sighed, scratching the back of his neck a little as he decided what he should say.

Buffy saw that he was caving and flew in for more. "I'm not saying you have to tell me everything, but I just want to know his side. I definitely know Anya's. It's not a secret that they broke up, so it's not a big deal if you tell me Xander's side." She shrugged a little, nonchalantly even, trying not to show how much she wanted to know.

"Okay, I can tell you." Sliding forward, hands loosely holding his mug, Spike said, "It's simple, really. Anya was acting like they were married or something, and Xander just wasn't ready for that. I mean, we're in high school. Marriage is a long looong ways away. She spooked him."

Buffy tensed up immediately, suddenly less interested in why Xander had dumped Anya and more interested in the way Spike seemed to agree with his friend. "What do you mean, marriage is a long ways away?"

Spike continued on casually, completely oblivious to the sudden tension and incipient argument. "I mean that Xander was thinking about having a good time with his girlfriend, and Anya was picking out his clothes and doing wife-y things."

Buffy set her cup down on the table. "And that's what made him break up with her?"

"Yeah, she was just becoming a little too, I don't know, wrapped up in the whole thing." He gestured flippantly with his hand. "The trip together just clinched things. Xander's not thinking about marriage. Come on, we're only in high school, for Chrissake."

Buffy looked at him with wide eyes. "You sound like marriage is such an awful thing."

Spike shrugged. "It's not that it's awful. But we're in high school. It's not exactly on our minds."

"You don't ever think about it?" Buffy's heart tensed in dreaded anticipation of his words.

"As a senior in high school? I mean, I—wait."

She suppressed her rising despair and instead clung to the climbing anger that was chilling her childhood dreams. "Is it so incredibly stupid to have the hopes that maybe a high school romance will last longer than graduation?"

"That's not—"

"So you think that we girls are just silly to even consider that possibility? To treat you in a way that hints that we might have a future together?" she asked shrilly, her eyes squinting at him.

"I didn't—"

"I can't believe that's why Xander broke up with Anya! And that you agree with him! So you're saying that if I were to act like maybe we might get married you'd get 'spooked' and take off? That's pretty fucked up."

"Buffy, I—"

"So you're not really interested in something deep and meaningful? You're just waiting to get into my pants? I can't believe you."

"Will you just listen—"

"To what? To you try to sweet talk me when you're not even thinking of me in that way? That I'm just this temporary thing to you?"

Spike closed his eyes in exasperation. "You're not making any sense, and—"

"Oh, so now I'm not making any sense? I'll tell you what doesn't make any sense. Being with someone who only sees you as a temporary fuck till high school's over."

Spike jumped up and muttered, "Unlikely since we're not fucking." He shook his head, trying not to succumb to his immediate impulse to spar with her verbally and opened his mouth to say something when Buffy leapt up.

"Oh, sorry if I don't put out like your crazy exes—"

Spike clenched his jaw in rage. "They didn't put out to me—but that's not the point. The point is—"

Crossing her arms defiantly, Buffy retorted, "Oh, enlighten me. What is the point. Tell me, oh smart one."

He closed his eyes in frustration. "Will you stop that and please listen to what I'm saying?"

"Oh, so now I don't listen? What else do you not like about me?" Her blood was racing through her, and her indignation was making her hands tremble a little. His insinuation that marriage was totally out of the question, that they'd likely break up soon enough, had pushed her into a world of incoherent fury and intense vulnerability. It was all she could do to wield her words as a sword, the way she was so used to doing. Something within pushed her to cut him deeply, to make him say the words that would make her pain complete and fulfill what she had expected all along.

He grabbed his jacket and stalked towards the door. "Forget it. You're not making any sense and this is just stupid."

Buffy followed him, rage still winning over her hurt. "So this is stupid? We're stupid?"

Spike turned to face her. "Yeah, it is. This is stupid."

"Well then you can take your stupid ass and leave, 'cause I wouldn't want to be in a stupid relationship." Her chest still heaving, emotions running out of control, Buffy dared him to say the words again, even though she didn't want it to end; she had too much pride, too much anger to let her guard down now and apologize, to admit how stupid their argument really was.

Spike narrowed his eyes for a second; then, through gritted teeth he said, "Done. I'm outta here." He flung open the door and stomped out. Slamming the door behind him, he threw his head back and yelled out in frustration, his voice snarling through the night, before he climbed into his car and peeled out of the driveway.

Her heart still wincing from the sound of his harsh howls, she finally let go of her anger and slumped against the door.

Ch. 22: Drama Queens

"Ahhh. A deck of cards, a roaring fire, and a refrigerator full of beer. What more could a guy ask for?" Xander asked with a smile.

Though all three of them could easily imagine something more, something with soft curves and kissable skin, they all agreed wholeheartedly.

"This place is pretty awesome," Spike commented, nodding at their surroundings. It had taken them a little over an hour to reach the place, and they'd eased in quickly, gathering firewood, setting up their sleeping arrangements, and taking stock of what was there. The kitchen was much better stocked than they'd anticipated, courtesy of Oz's uncle, and the cabin was warm and inviting. "Thanks for letting us crash here this weekend." He handed out beers and then slid into his seat.

"No problem." Oz nodded back as he quickly shuffled and dealt the cards. "Xan?" And thus began their first round of poker.

--

"Do you think this color looks good with my skin tone?" Anya asked, eyes squinting at the blood red nail polish currently adorning her hands. "Do you think it's too goth?"

Buffy nodded as she blew gently on her own nails. "Yes, I do. I think it's hideous."

"God, don't be shy about your opinions, really. I mean, if it was so hideous, why didn't you say anything before?" Anya retorted, sarcasm dripping.

"Well, it's not like you would've listened. You wanted the color, so you put it on. It's not my fault it's hideous." Buffy shrugged and then continued to work on her own nails.

Anya stared at her in annoyance and then got up to retrieve the nail polish remover. "Someone's got a stick up her ass," Anya muttered as she walked the short distance.

Buffy heard her comments but said nothing. She really did feel bitchy—and the least of it was that on Valentine's Day she was sitting on her ass painting her nails instead of cuddling with her—a—any boyfriend. She tried to channel her anger into painting perfect nails.

Anya plopped down again and began rubbing viciously at her nails. "You know, it's not like your nails look all that great either."

Buffy gave her a dirty look. "I think they look fine." She pursed her lips and tried not to get involved in a silly argument fueled more by her discontentment with life and less by her annoyance with Anya.

"Well, I—"

Anya was interrupted by a doorbell. Both girls tried not to hope it might be boys, to hope Xander and Spike might have created some romantic gesture to win back their hearts. Anya scrambled up to answer the door and opened it as nonchalantly as she could.

It was Willow.

"Hey, guys! I came with Oreos and Godiva truffles!" she proclaimed, shaking a bag of goodies.

"Hey, there!" Anya said, hiding her disappointment with a bright smile. "I thought you and Oz had a—"

"No, we decided that, well, anyway, I'm here! Tell me what you guys are doing," Willow interrupted as she joined their girly gathering.

Buffy's face showed dismay as she asked forlornly, "Don't tell me you guys broke up, did you?"

Willow shook her head. "No, no, we're still together," she reassured them. "We're just not doing all that tonight."

Anya snorted. "If I had a boyfriend, I'd definitely be with him and not you guys."

"Gee, thanks," Buffy retorted.

All Willow's initial excitement at joining her friends slowly began to dissipate as she sensed the tension in the room. Bracing herself, she threw herself into the nails and chocolate and hoped for the best.

--

Up at the cabin, the night quickly created empty beer bottles, crumpled bags of chips, loud belches, messy cards, and drunken laughter—much to the enjoyment of the boys.

"Yeah, who's the man? Who's the man?" Xander slurred slightly as he gathered the pot. It didn't matter that the chips meant nothing; it was just about winning. When he had created a small pile in front of him, he smiled crazily and then slumped over them, the tears coming quickly.

"What's up? What's wrong?" Spike asked immediately, putting his empty beer bottle on the table. "Did something happen just now?"

Xander shook his head and continued bawling, wiping his nose and eyes on his sleeve. "It's just—it's just—" He began crying again, the innumerable beers loosening his hold on his emotions.

Spike and Oz shared a look of concern, but neither knew what to say. An uncomfortable silence began to grow, and Spike got up to get more beer in an effort to dispel the quiet.

Xander raised his head and breathed in loudly. "I miss her. I want her back." His brown eyes were red with pain.

Oz nodded in understanding and then put down his cards, acknowledging that the game was over and their night was turning towards different kinds of games.

Spike handed Xander another bottle, popped one for himself and stared at it morosely before launching into his own whine. "Fuck, I miss her, too." His mouth drooped in a sad pout.

The two boys brooded for a while, nursing their beers, when Oz finally said, "So do something about it."

Spike's face contorted with sadness as he began to share his feelings. "I didn't want to break up with her. I mean, everything was going really well, you know?" His voice began to quiver with emotion. "But she had to go and push me, and I was angry, and she was angry, and then it just happened. It's not like I wanted it. You believe me, don't you?" He looked up at both his friends in supplication.

Xander nodded sympathetically before wiping his nose on his collar. "Anya—she's so beautiful. She's so amazing, and sometimes I feel like she's too good for me. And so when we were together, her family with all their money and Anya with all her high expectations of me—I just felt like I would never be good enough. She'd always have to fix me up or hide my faults or something. I just couldn't take it anymore." He breathed in to combat the tears starting to form again. "But now I miss her so much. I could be a better man. I could—I just need her. Maybe she'll take me back?"

"Yeah, maybe Buffy will take me back? I didn't mean to be mean," Spike added, nodding his head in agreement. They both continued consoling each other as Oz looked on in bewilderment.

Finally, Oz clinked his beer on the table and faced both of his whimpering friends. "You guys are fucking stupid," he said in his characteristically calm voice. He held up his hand as both jumped to defend the other. "What I mean is, well, you guys are fucking stupid. You had girlfriends—you fucked it up. The question is not whether they'll take you back—they're just mad at you and want you to apologize. The question is HOW are you going to do it and stay smelling of roses? How are you guys going to get them back and impress them at the same time? That's the question."

Xander and Spike stared at Oz, as if he were the Great Wizard and had all the answers. Mouths open, they nodded for him to continue.

"Now I'll help—and I'm not doing it just for you. I have a girlfriend, and your women are screwing things up for her and me because she feels bad for being happy. That just won't work for me, so I'm helping you out. And, of course, because we're friends and pals before gals and all that," he added with shrug. "Anyway, I have to know that you guys seriously want this to happen. You seriously want your girlfriends back?"

Spike gravely replied, "Yes. I want her back. I really want her back." Xander merely nodded vehemently with his eyes filled with hope.

"Okay, then first, you gotta sign something that says you want it, because I'm not about to let you guys go to sleep drunk with promises and wake up with no recollection of this conversation. He grabbed a pad of paper near the phone and scrawled a few words. "Okay, this says that you guys agree to do whatever it takes to get your girls back. Now, sign here."

Grabbing the pen, Xander signed with care before passing it on to Spike, who signed with flourish.

Oz nodded. "Okay. So here's what we'll do."

--

"Ugh. I can't believe this is how I'm spending my Valentine's Day," Anya muttered as she reached for the nail polish remover yet again.

Buffy, who'd gotten fed up with her constant mutterings, finally burst out and said, "God, what is your problem? This was your idea! Why do you have such an attitude? I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you!"

"What? What are you talking about? Are you blaming me for your break-up? Because everyone knows he dumped you because of that huge pole up your ass," Anya retorted, her face burning with anger as she finally vented her suppressed emotions.

Buffy began to fume. "If it weren't for your stupid 'pity me poor me Xander's gone boo fucking hoo' speeches, I wouldn't have tried to find out from Spike what had happened, and we would be together right now!" Buffy yelled, her voice rising in hysterics.

"You stupid bitch! Xander still loves me! He just needs some space right now, but we're going to get back together!!" Anya screamed, her eyes beginning to fill with tears and her cheeks completely flushed with rage.

"Shut up! He doesn't love you! How could he love someone who nags and picks and only cares about money and appearance!" Buffy yelled back, her own tears carelessly running down her face.

"Don't blame me for Spike. How could he love a cold-hearted, selfish bitch like you? He was probably dying from all the nasty mean things you always said to him. At least I know I treated my man right," Anya blurted out, sniffing loudly.

"Guys, guys! Please stop fighting!" Willow interrupted, her own tears making her voice quiver in fear. "I can't take all this fighting, and you're just saying things that you'll regret later!"

At the same time, both Anya and Buffy turned to Willow and yelled, "Shut up!"

Buffy's eyes widened, and she glared at Anya and said, "Don't tell her to shut up! What did she do to you? You're just not satisfied until everyone around you is miserable!"

"What? You're the one who treats her like shit. Like she wants to hear about all your problems. No one cares! No one cares about how Spike dumped your ass!"

"Like anyone cares about your superficial, annoying princess act? Just because you're rich doesn't mean you're better than the rest of us!"

"Please stop," Willow cried out, her hands trying to separate the two girls who were closing in on each other.

Anya yanked her arm away and muttered, "Fuck you all! I hate you!" She turned and stomped away.

Buffy snorted with disgust, grabbed her bag, and stalked out, mumbling, "Stupid bitch," as she left the house with a slam.

Willow just sank to her knees and let her tears overtake her.

--

When Monday morning came, Buffy took a few calming breaths and readied herself to apologize to both Willow and Anya for her terrible words. She wasn't sure what had possessed her, but she was sorry regardless. Entering the cafeteria, she looked over to their table.

It was empty.

Four years of friendship, laughs, fears, memories—never once had that table been empty on a school morning. The thought filled her heart with despondence; before letting the tears fall, she turned away and headed for the library.

Blinking back the tears that were becoming too frequent, Buffy swiftly walked through the halls, hoping no one would stop her or say hi; she just wanted to be alone to deal with the emptiness she was feeling.

As she pushed open the door to the library, she ran right into a black t-shirt. Her heart sank as she smelled his familiar scent.

"Are you okay?" his voice asked gently. Spike could tell something was wrong immediately, and his plan for a reunion suddenly flew away at the sight of his girl looking so unhappy.

Buffy bit her lip, and her body contracted in an effort to keep itself from completely falling apart. The one person she'd been wanting to see for so long—just not today, not at this moment. Buffy shook her head and simply kept walking. It was too much to deal with, and she pushed forward to hide herself in the stacks of the library.

Spike watched her back and tried not to be miserable at her blatant dismissal. He breathed in deeply and went searching for Oz for advice.

Heading to the cafeteria, he found Xander and Oz just getting to their familiar spot. "What's up? I just saw Buffy, and she looked awful."

"Looks like the girls got into a little spat this weekend," Oz responded.

Xander's eyes widened with surprise. "Really? You mean, like, they broke up with each other?"

Spike chuckled a little before letting the seriousness of the situation sink in. "So, is Willow okay?"

Oz furrowed his brow a little before answering. "She's seen better days. I'm sure things will pass, but there were some hurtful things said. We may have to revise our plan."

Spike nodded. "I'll do whatever it takes."

"Me, too," Xander added.

"Maybe we can get your girlfriends back and help them patch up their problems at the same time?" Oz suggested, his face full of thoughts.

"Let's do it. I hate seeing Buffy unhappy."

The three guys began talking softly, planning their way to happiness.

Ch. 22: Cover Me

Buffy made her way directly to the library, which was quickly becoming her new second home. It was early before school, and there were only a few shy souls around whose buses had dropped them off in the wee hours. She slid into the seat and logged into the computer, ready to waste away the minutes surfing the net, checking email that invariably only had impersonal spam, and trying to forget about the fact that she was alone.

Opening up Internet Explorer, she headed straight for her yahoo account and rolled her eyes at the 27 new messages and 324 bulk mail messages that she had in her mailbox. Still, having spam was better than the evil "0 messages" notice that sometimes popped up in her obsessive email checking. Clicking on the inbox, she prepared to wade through the messages offering her barnyard pleasures, discount ink jet toner, and free vitamins.

And blinked in shock when she saw an email from Spike. An email from Spike! She tried not to think too much about it, tried to convince herself that it was probably some virus pretending to be Spike. She opened it and waited, the computer taking its slow time in opening up the page. When it finally loaded, she held her breath and scrolled down to read the message.

buffy—
i know we haven't really talked in a while...it seems like every time one of us wants to talk, the other is busy. i've been thinking about you a lot, and i guess i figured this was the only way to guarantee that we got to talk. the thing is—i miss you. i don't know if you miss me, or if you even think about me, but i figured i'd take a chance. if you want to talk more, maybe try things out again, please meet me at the bronze tonight at 7:00. if i don't see you there, i'll understand.
yours,
spike
The first time Buffy read it, she skimmed to the bottom—she couldn't help herself—to see whether it was a good note or a bad note. When she saw that he signed off with "yours," she felt her heart do a little pirouette. The second time she read it, she held her breath the entire time, her eyes focusing on every word and every punctuation mark to make sure she fully understood what he was saying and asking and implying. The third time she read it, her face was flushed and her heart was beating quickly—the walls built around her spirit were slowly being lowered as she allowed herself the possibility of Spike's desire for her. The fourth, the fifth, the sixth...they all contributed to the silly grin on her face that she tried to suppress and the lightness in her step that made the rest of the day go by a little faster.

She had no idea what was going on in her classes, hadn't cared when teachers had called her on daydreaming during class, and for once didn't brood over the way her friendships had somehow deteriorated in the past weeks. She couldn't wait to get home, had already spent more energy on planning her outfit than seemed possible during a school day. When Buffy finally went home, she pretended to still be in the same dour mood—just to avoid questions from Dawn. She didn't want to share just yet—not till she had something significant to share. She showered slowly, making sure to use lots of body wash to smell nice, and pondered how she would react, how much she would share about her desires to get back together with him. She stared at herself in the mirror for long periods of time, wondering if he really did care for her, what she should wear to make sure he stayed interested without looking like a slut.

--

Xander was convinced he was going to die. He grabbed the paper bag and breathed in and out quickly, trying to find some sense of balance in his system.

Spike rolled his eyes and merely handed him some water. "Dude, you'll be fine. All you have to do is stand up there and sing with me."

Xander shook his head vigorously while gulping down some water. "No, you don't understand. I get stage fright. And I can barely hold a tune. And I—" He interrupted himself with another huge gulp of water. "I—" He took another deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to calm himself. "What if it's not enough? What if I do all this, sing and apologize and everything, and it doesn't get her back? If I've screwed this up, I just don't know what I'll do." His shoulders drooped at his pessimistic thoughts.

Spike came and sat next to him, putting his arm around him for comfort. "Well, I can't guarantee anything. Hell, I don't know if it'll be enough for me either. But at least we'll have tried. If they don't come back to us, it won't be because we were two pussies scared of trying. There's that, right?" Spike grinned a little, trying to reassure his friend and himself that their risk was worth it, would pay off in the end.

"Okay. You're right. It'll be okay." Taking another deep breath and another large gulp of water, he stood and then asked, "Just let me go to the bathroom and piss and puke and I'll be fine."

--

When she entered the Bronze, Buffy immediately scanned the room for Spike and saw him on stage, fiddling around with mikes and setting up amps. Brow furrowed, she wondered what was going on.

"Hey, Buffy," Oz said, approaching her.

Buffy still looked confused as she greeted the short bassist. "Hey."

Oz nodded in understanding. Gesturing, he led her towards the a table and said, "He asked me to escort you here. Have a seat, and enjoy the show." With a brief smile, he headed back towards the stage to help his bandmates out. Buffy bit her lip in anticipation and breathed in slowly, trying to calm herself for whatever Spike had planned.

She noticed that the Bronze was starting to fill up, and suddenly she saw Anya at a table nearby. "What's she doing here?" Buffy thought to herself, starting to feel uncomfortable. They still hadn't sorted things out; in fact, Anya had been almost hostile whenever they saw each other at school. She sulked a little at the thought of Anya being present at her reunion with Spike, since their main issue had been because of the boyfriends, or lack thereof. Her thoughts were distracted when she was presented with a Diet Coke and a single rose. She smiled to herself and decided not to let Anya's presence get in the way of her night.

The band finally finished setting up, and the lights dimmed in preparation for the evening's musical performance. Her heart flipped a couple times when Spike stepped into the lights, gave a quick smirk, and waved, saying, "It's Cover Night here at the Bronze this evening, so we thought we'd hit an oldie from that amazing rock era: the 80's." Spike smiled at the laughs and groans from the audience before catching the eye of his cute blonde seated at the table in front of him.

As the audience quieted, his face took on a more serious expression, and his voice deepened. "What I love about the 80s is the power ballad—sometimes those songs just express what we strong, manly men have difficulty saying." He paused for the smattering of laughter. "I figure, if those hard guitarists can break down and bare their souls, then so can we. Before we get into our first song, I want to introduce the members of the band."

Buffy zoned out a little through this part, allowing herself to watch the joy he got in being on stage—until she saw Xander on stage. What was Spike saying?

"A special treat tonight—we have a guest singer joining us for this night of nostalgia. Please give it up for Xander!"

She clapped lightly as her shy friend waved awkwardly at the crowd before shuffling backwards—and bumping into the bass amp. Buffy began to wonder about this setup, why Xander was there as well as Anya, but then Spike began to talk again.

"This first song has special meaning for me, as well as Xander. We, being guys, sometimes make mistakes. And sometimes we don't realize what we have until it's no longer there."

Buffy held her breath while listening to his words, completely transfixed by the intensity of his eyes. She blinked back tears as she thought about his words.

"The thing is—we're teenagers, and sometimes when we're frustrated, we do stupid things—say stupid things. And then, before we realize what we've done, we've hurt you, angered you, screwed things up. So we," Spike paused and looked back at Xander who was nodding earnestly in agreement, "We just wanted to say that we miss you—and that we're sorry."

"I'm sorry," Xander added into his mike, looking at Anya.

"I miss you," Spike said softly, looking at Buffy. Breathing in for a moment, he then continued to address the rest of the audience. "This song is an oldie—and it speaks of the way we feel about the girls in our lives." He nodded to the band, and the music began to play.

I can't fight this feeling any longer
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow
What started out as friendship, has grown stronger
I only wish I had the strength to let it show

I tell myself that I can't hold out forever
I said there is no reason for my fear
Cause I feel so secure when we're together
You give my life direction
You make everything so clear

And even as I wander
I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window
On a cold, dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever

Buffy felt the tears gather in her eyes as the REO Speedwagon song swept over her in Spike's deep voice. She'd always been a sucker for those 80s songs, and this song especially made her heart ache in that pleasantly painful way. That he would sing this song to her—well, even without the song she would've come back, in all honesty—but that he would remember this song...it made her feel incredibly special.

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you
I've been running round in circles in my mind
And it always seems that I'm following you, girl
Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find

And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crushing through your door
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

She let the tears of happiness run down her face. It seemed stupid, to be so affected by a song, but Buffy couldn't help it. She'd wanted Spike for so long, and she'd made such a dumb mistake in letting her own temper get the best of her. And yet there he was, apologizing to her in front of a whole crowd when really she should've been the one to apologize first. She slowly wiped away the wetness and tried to steady her breathing. Smiling up at Spike, she mouthed, "I'm sorry. I missed you, too."

Spike simply gazed at her, not letting his eye contact waver until the final chord was struck and the song came to an end. The crowd burst into applause, and Spike murmured a "Thank you" into the mike. Turning to the band, he communicated something about their next song and then faced the crowd with a grin. "Don't want you guys to think this is going to be a night filled with sappy love songs—though they're damn good love songs—so the next song is meant to be more upbeat. In fact, please join in. Sing along, and have some fun. Be neighborly!"

Buffy noticed that he shared a quick look with Xander, who seemed again nervous for some reason. Buffy frowned at that thought—wouldn't he have been more nervous about singing to Anya? She thought about it for a while, happy not only for herself but her friend as well. It looked like both couples might be getting back together, but what did that mean for her own friendships? Even though she really wanted to patch things up with Anya, she couldn't quite bring herself to go over and talk to her, though she was right at a nearby table. What would she say? How could she avoid the awkwardness? Sighing, she waited for the music to begin. And when a familiar riff began to fill the room, she sat up straight, her mouth open in amazement.

La vie Boheme

La vie Boheme

La vie Boheme

Spike, Xander, and Oz were belting out the song with silly grins on their faces, encouraging the audience to sing along with them. The song "La vie Boheme," from the musical Rent , brought back tons of memories to when she, Willow, and Anya had listened to the soundtrack over and over again, each playing different parts and singing along loudly—and usually off-key—as the lives of such randomly interesting people played out on stage. Spike knew this—hell, he'd often joined them even though he and the guys had always rolled their eyes. How could he--? Her heart was pinched with awkwardness, wondering how Anya was reacting to the song. Their parts were coming up, and part of her really wanted to start singing along, to pretend like nothing was wrong. But what if Anya didn't sing with her? What if she was rejected, and she no longer had friends to sing this song with? What if she gave her a dirty look? Or what if she completely ignored her? What if—

"Wine and beer!" Willow shouted out, coming from out of nowhere. Buffy looked at her sudden appearance in surprise and couldn't help but smile at the slightly embarrassed look that Willow always got whenever she shouted out that line.

"Mucho masturbation!" Anya shouted out soon thereafter, joining Willow in standing to sing with enthusiasm. Buffy's heart jumped up in hope and, feeling a little more confident, rose to join them in time to join in with her own line, "To the stage!" Willow immediately hung her arm around Buffy's shoulders and Anya's as well, a smile on her face as they continued to belt out the song, praising the La Vie Boheme, with Anya's final plea "To S & M!" pushing them into a fit of giggles the way it always did. They continued to bounce along as the music faded out. When it was replaced with canned music, and the three girls were left, arms around each other, they finally made eye contact.

"I'm so sorry—I didn't—"

"I missed you, and I wasn't—"

"Forgive me? I didn't—"

"I'm sorry, too, and—"

Their voices fell over each other, apologies and pleas for forgiveness and statements of love and friendship rushing out and quickly soothing the wounds that had been created over the past days. Willow was smiling giddily—having been a part of the plan from the beginning—and her eyes were happy but teary. Anya was completely bawling, begging to be forgiven for her weeks of whining and bitchiness when really all she had wanted was to be back with Xander—and now that that was on the horizon, everything was looking better. And Buffy, with her red nose and wet eyes, was simply hugging them all, glad that their little sisterhood was finally healing. In the midst of their estrogen-charged reunion, she glanced up to catch Spike's eye—he was watching them with a smile of satisfaction lightly playing about his lips. Winking at her, he made it clear that the whole thing had been orchestrated, and Buffy mouthed, "Thank you" over the heads of her friends. He merely smiled and bowed a little before turning back to his band. Buffy's heart was glowing pink with pleasure. Now all she had to do was wait for him to finish his set—and their reunion could begin.

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