Dirty Work
(Named after that super Steely Dan song)

Warning: some Xander abuse :) and B/A and evil Willow

Author’s Notes:
Hi, it’s me again. Yes, I’m writing three Spuffies at the same time. Yes, I’m a dork.
Based on the movie A Life Less Ordinary.

Chapter 1

Once William Giles had the bathroom door closed, he got busy. He cleaned the mirrors, sinks, and stalls with as much hurried perfection as he could muster.

William wiped his hands on a rag and smiled, as he looked at the sparkling bathroom, satisfied with himself.

A new record. Now let’s get to work.

He wheeled his cleaning cart into the largest stall and sat on the now-clean floor. He propped his back against the wall and pulled his knees to his chest. Leaning over, he found his worn notebook and pencil that he had hidden between his Lysol and Windex bottles. Biting on his eraser, William sat and waited for the words to flow.

“Oh, this is gonna be brilliant.” William laughed and scribbled as he sat in the handicapped women’s stall.
***

“I’ll just give you the outline, yeah? You don’t wanna be spoiled now and I also don’t want you stealing my ideas. Ok, picture with me, a blonde bit of nothing, a girl still in high school being chased down a dark and dreary alley by a big, nasty vampire--.”

“Is this before or after she is topless?”

“Shut up, Harris. The girl isn’t just a bimbo; she’s the bloody chosen one, right? She’s the only one who can protect pathetic mankind against the evil and the forces of darkness… So where was I? Oh, the girl, she’ll have an absurd name like Cookie and she’ll pull out a stake from her purse and then—poof!—no more vamp, just a pile of dust--.”

“You writing feminist shit, instead of your usual trash novels, Will? I always knew you were into the hairy chicks—Ow! Hey!”

William smirked and hit Xander Harris, his coworker and sometimes friend with his toilet bowl brush. “It may have a slight feminist slat, you wanker, but my novel will explore good and evil and the fine, blurry line that separates them. It will have violence, humor, tears, sex--.”

“Sex, huh? Your girl-hero gonna bang vampires too? Get it, man?” Xander began laughing as he sat on the shaky wooden table of the break room. He held his head, blocking himself from future blows. “She can be like—like a vampire layer.”

William pondered Xander’s comment. “Hey that actually has a nice ring...”

“Ow! If you liked it, why did you hit me again?!”

“What can I say mate? I’ve always been bad.”

“You? Bad?! Oh, I’m William bloody Giles and I write bloody bad novels based on bloody bad ideas. Bloody, sodding, buggering--.” Xander dodged William’s brush but wasn’t prepared for the Doc Marten boot that kicked him in the shin. “Oww! Stop, you big bully!”

“I don’t sound like that. Just you laugh and mock, but wait a few years when your still sitting in Mommy Harris’s basement with your thumb permanently stuck up your ass and when you’re thinking, ‘Golly Gosh, I remember that William, wasn’t he a brilliant bastard? Yup, I can’t believe I knew him.’ And by then I’ll be bloody--.”

William froze at the sound of the elevator reaching the basement level. He continued on louder. “Er. I’ll be bloody damned, you see, those dust bunnies, if you don’t get ‘em while they’re tiny, they get um…dustier, lethal even.”

“Well, well, well. Your fifteen minutes are up boys and for every minute you went over, I’ll be docking it from your paychecks.”

By the time Snyder made his appearance, William and Xander were already at their carts, ready to flee.

“But--.”

“Shut it, Harris or I’ll make you clean the urinals on the seventh floor.”

William felt his anger rise as Xander walked off, tail between his legs. “Sir, we were just talking about the gum spots that were left in the conference room--.”

“Stop kissing my ass, Giles and get back to work.”

William put his headphones on and watched as his supervisor turned on his heel and walked out of the break room.

“Bastard.” William grumbled as he flashed his middle finger at the back of the little man’s head.

William turned up his music and pushed his cleaning cart into the great glass elevator.
***

“Buffy, yeah that’s right, touch my dick, like that. Fuck…Buffy.” Angel moaned as the blonde handled him rough, making the pain almost overshadow the pleasure.

Buffy kissed Angel deeply, shoving her tongue in his mouth to stop Angel’s curses and crude comments.

What an asshole…

She squeezed his hard erection and shoved Angel against the wall of the office. Out of the corner of her eye, Buffy saw the flashing red light. She took her mouth from Angel’s and smiled for the camera before she pulled her dress over her head. Angel was on her immediately, sucking and fondling her breasts. Buffy pushed him away and sat on the desk, spreading her legs wide.

Let’s hope he doesn’t last too long. She hid the dread of letting Angel use her body behind a wide fake smile.

“Come here, Angel baby. I need you.”
***

Hank Summers was the luckiest guy in the world. William pictured him as George Jetson, sitting in a comfy chair, pushing buttons and bossing around people with a wiggle of his finger. Throughout William’s ten years with Summers Enterprises, he said with pride that he worked for Mr. Summers. Of course he never said he was a janitor, William just blamed his extensive knowledge of cleaning products on an overbearing mother.

Ah, to be stinking rich… I wouldn’t even need that much money… just to live without knowing how to change every vacuum cleaner bag known to man and not involuntarily gasping whenever I see someone stain a carpet…That would be a life worth living.

Damn I feel like bloody Cinderella. Someday my dreams will come true; someday my rotting pumpkin will turn into a best seller.

But of course this will do for now. Hiding in bathrooms and broom closets, getting in a line of script here and there. At least I can be by myself with my music and my thoughts. And I can hit Harris anytime I want to feel manly.

William smirked and stepped out of the elevator.

“Round our way the birds sing for yer, cos they already know yer…”

He sang as his boots slightly bounced on the expensive carpet. Years ago, William drove himself mad trying to prove that as one traveled up the endless floors of Summers Enterprises, the carpets got thicker, the toilet paper grew in ply sizes and generic cleaning supplies were nowhere to be seen.

The signs of approaching the big wigs. Walls were blemish-free and decorated with work from famous masters, not local starving artists. The air stank of money as William walked through the territory of those on the top of the food chain.

“La La La La Laaa Laaa. Round our way the birds are singing. Round our way the sun shines bright--”

William wheeled his orange industrial strength vacuum cleaner down the hallway and froze in front of the door that was open a crack. None of the janitors were allowed into the offices on the higher floors of the building. Only Snyder was given the honor of cleaning the personal offices of the upper management.

Hank Summers here after hours? He needs overtime? Bah. I don’t think so.

William peeked through the open door and pushed his headphones from his ears.

Oh. How—how unsanitary…

William swallowed, seeing a blonde girl sitting naked on Mr. Summers’s desk. A dark-haired man had his head buried between her thighs.

“Angel! Do that—Oh God there! Again! Aaaahhh! Don’t stop! Angeeeell! I’m commming!”

William rolled his eyes as the girl arched her back and continued on as if she was mimicking a bad porno.

Creativity, people. Yesh, you’d think she was howling in pain in a tunnel or something. And Angel? What kind of ponc—

“Ahhh!” William struggled to keep his reaction quiet as he spun after being poked in a sensitive spot on his back. William instinctively hit the person who had scared him nearly to death.

“You bloody fuc—Snyder! Oh God. I’m sorry! I--.”

Synder snarled and drug William down the hallway.

“I’m so sorry man, um, sir. I just…should—should they be doing that in Mr. Summers’s office?”

“Be quiet! It is none of your business what happens in that office or in any of the other offices for that matter.” Snyder hissed and wiped away the blood that had gathered under his nose. “I think you broke my nose you little fucker.”

“Hey now. I’m really sorry--.”

“You’d better be sorry because you have a lot to feel sorry about. Not only are you just a cockroach that wades through other people’s shit, your now even beneath the other janitors.”

“What?”

“You’re fired, Giles.”

“But—but it wasn’t my fault. I just--.”

“Do you think Mr. Summers wants a peeping tom and a worthless dreamer—don’t think I haven’t seen you dreaming instead of doing your job. You’re useless and we here at Summers Enterprises no longer have a need for you. You’re fired. Get out before I call security.”
***

“Fired. That bald weasel. I’m glad that I popped him a good one.” William drank another shot and made a disgusted face as the liquid burned on its way down his throat. “Ten years, mate. Ten bloody years. You know who needs to be fired. That blonde slut who was getting her happy’s on Mr. Summers’s office furniture, that’s who.”

“Weasel!” Xander doubled over in laugher, causing William to glare at him.

“I hate you, man. I’m supposed to be getting smashed here. Stop stealing my fucking glory. You still have your job.”

“Smashed! Get it? Hey!”

The sound of William’s palm hitting the back of Xander’s hand made William feel slightly better.

And this git is supposed to be above me.

“You know what Harris? Maybe I’ll just go above Snyder. Yeah, that’s right! I’ll go see Mr. Summers. He’ll understand and listen, right? I’ll go in tomorrow and get my job back. Ten years has to mean something.”

“I agree. I don’t believe them, those liars! I mean three!” Xander waved four fingers in front of William’s face. “Three licks man? To get to the center? I still don’t trust owls. That kid should have so made the turtle lick that damn Tootsie Pop.”

William gave Xander a sideways glance.

I am better than him. One beer and the whelp’s brains are mushier than usual.

I can do it.

I’m going to get my job back.
***

Buffy smiled wickedly as she walked confidently in her white knee-high boots and mini skirt into Hank Summers’s office. Her grin grew as she saw Hank rewind the tape.

“You wanted to see me?”

“You know that my office is under heavy surveillance but there you are fucking the son of my biggest competitor on my desk. Why?”

“Um, because it was fun?”

“God damn it, Buffy! Why?! Is this because of your mother?”

“Hmmm could be and because of Wesley too, you asshole.”

“Wesley?!”

“I am not going to marry him just because you want to steal his father’s company!”

“So you’re just going to become a whore just to get back at me.”

Buffy grimaced at the name her father had called her. “If that’s what it takes.”

“Buffy—No! No, I don’t care! I’m not going to let you do this. I’m going to do something I should have done a long time ago.”

“What?” Buffy felt uncomfortable seeing her father’s evil grin. “What?!”

“No more money, no credit cards and since you love your mother so much, you can live with her from now on. You’re no longer allowed in my house and I’m taking your car. But you will not avoid me, you will work for me here and I will not be easy on you young lady.”

“You can’t do that.” Buffy panicked. “You can’t--.”

“I can and I will. You’re are going to work, Buffy. I hear there is a new position available in the janitorial department.”
***

William took the stairs two at a time, his nerves making a bitter taste in his mouth.

He can’t be a monster, right? I just need to explain. God, I had more balls when I wasn’t sober…

He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants as he reached the secretary’s desk.

“Um, good afternoon. I have an appointment with Mr. Summers.”

The pointy nosed woman looked William up and down and then looked at her list. “Name?”

“William Giles.”

He watched, feeling his head throb from tension, as the woman’s finger traveled up and down her list.

“No, your name’s not on my list. No name, no appointment.”

“But please, I just--.”

“No name, no appointment. Good day.”

William turned for a second.

Why wouldn’t anybody let me finish my bloody sentences?! They have no right to—Bugger that!

“Mr. Summers!”

William ran to the door and bolted into the office.
***

“My name is William Giles, sir. I have been working here for over ten years now. We talked once at one of those Christmas parties and you shook my hand, remember? There is som--.”

“Sure, I remember. Now get the hell out of my office.”

“What?”

“Security.” William’s eyes bugged out, as Hank never looked him in the face before he talked into his intercom.

“This can’t—I just want to explain. I want my job back.”

“God, Hank let him explain, I think he’s gonna cry or something.”

William wiped his head towards the familiar voice, seeing the girl for the first time. “You! You’re the reason why my life went to hell in a bloody hand bask--.”

William rolled his eyes when he was interrupted again, this time by six heavily armed guards who tackled him to the ground.
***

“Dad!” Buffy screamed at her father who just watched as William tried to crawl his way out of the human dog pile. Buffy didn’t really care about the guy either but if she could root for a side her father was against, it made her day. “Why don’t you just listen to him?! You don’t listen to anyone, you asshole!”

William’s muffled curses and yelps were the background noise of Buffy’s rants. “You are just a pig! I hate you! I hate--.”

“Drop your weapons! Don’t move a fucking muscle!” Buffy turned as William, in tears, pointed a gun at the security guards. “You guys too, Blondie and Mr. High and Mighty. Up against the wall.”
***

William couldn’t recall how he got the gun away from one of the guards but as he pointed it around the room, how he managed to find it in his sweaty palms was the last question on William’s mind.

“Now just listen to me. I only want my job back. I’m good at it, really I am. I like it too. I’m ok with playing the cleaning lady role; fuck I even look forward to it, man. I have been here for ten years. Please, for the love of God tell me that means something. I wasn’t peeping on your sluty daughter, I just wanted to know why your office was open. I didn’t mean to hit Snyder, not that I haven’t wanted to, but it was an accident. Please. Please give me my job back.”

Hank took in William’s tears and shaking hands. “No.”

“What?! See this? It’s a gun. Bang bang, shoot, shoot.” William wagged the gun in front of Hank’s face. “I—I can kill you.”

God I sound pathetic, even I know I can’t kill anyone—

“You fucking--!” Hank pounced on William and struggled with him over control of the gun. “You can’t kill me! You’re in here begging to clean my toilets! You’re beneath me--.”

William saw red and hit the nearest piece of Mr. Summers’s flesh that he could find. “I’ve had enough of you! I’m not bloody beneath anyone! I just waited to be heard but now I think I do want you dead!” William seethed and cocked the loaded gun and pointed it between Hank’s eyes. “I’m going to count to five and if you don’t apologize to me and then beg for me to work here again, I’ll shoot you. And while I’m at it, I want a raise too and I think the janitors deserve new uniforms and new equipment too, you cheap bastard. You spend all that dosh on fancy paperclips—fuck you, mate. One.” William kept his voice steady and felt charged by finally seeing the flicker of fear in Hank’s eyes. “Two…Three.”

Oh, God what is wrong with this guy?

“Four.” William cringed as he voice cracked.

“Five!” Buffy’s yell startled William, which led him to jumping and accidentally pulling the gun’s trigger.
***

Wow.

Buffy grinned as her father collapsed and howled clutching his arm.

He’ll live, darn. But wow what a rush.

She looked at William, who as beside himself, sobbing and yelling. Buffy felt a strangely proud when she noticed the man still had his gun pointed even as he broke down.

Buffy stood in amazement until the sound of screaming sirens filled the air.

God, he’s fucked…
***

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I shot him, I shot Hank bloody Summers. I’m going to jail and I’m going to rot there and—and I don’t want to. There has to be something… there has to be a way out. It was just an accident. I didn’t want to shoot anyone… This is all her fault. All her—her!

William wiped his eyes and pointed his gun at Buffy. “You! Get your stuff! You all stay on the floor and count to—um just count a lot, to like a million or something. Let’s get outta here!”
***

“You’re kidnapping me?”

“Yes I am.”

“Why?”

“Because—Because it seemed right at the moment! So just shut your gob!”

Buffy held her purse to her chest and controlled her breathing as William poked her arm with his gun. “The cameras in stairwell haven’t been working. That’s why I guess no one saw you show up, right?”

William gave the girl a confused but relieved face. “Right to the stairs then.”

“You don’t need to push me, I’ll go.”

“Why are you being so… not difficult?”

“Because I hate my father and you shot him. I owe you one and I think this could work out for the best, for both of us.”

“You are a vindictive bitch, huh?”

“I try to be. You need my help. For starters, William, your gun is out of bullets.”

“What?!”

“You would think after what? Ten years? You would have known that the guards only have one bullet apiece. They are only supposed to shot at the sky or something.”

“God…” William stared at his gun and then shoved in the pocket of his jeans. “You wanna help me?”

“Maybe not you personally but I want to support your cause. I want my father to pay. You should want him to pay too for how he treated you and how he wouldn’t listen… I think we can get him where it hurts, in his wallet.”
***

God I think this can work. I think this can fucking work! Sure I hate this bint’s guts but if she’ll willing to, what the hell? I’m fucked either way, right?

William struggled to breathe and he traveled the endless amount of stairs for the second time that day.

“You must be older than you look. Stop being all huffy puffy. I bet they can hear you miles away.”

“Just because this isn’t loaded doesn’t mean it can’t do any damage to your pretty little head.” He put a hand to his gun.

“Sure. Whatever.”

“Thank god.” William pushed through the final door. “If I ever go up another flight of bloody stairs it will be too soon.” William walked on jelly-legs into the parking lot.

“Do you have to say that all the time? Bloody, bloody, bloody.” Buffy dug through her purse and pulled out her cell phone.

“What are you doing?! Were you lying or something?!”

Buffy looked at William like he had lost his mind as he batted her cell phone to the ground and took her purse. “What are you doing?! You asshole!”

““Do you have to say that all the time? Asshole, asshole, asshole.” William went through her purse and threw most of its contents out. “Don’t you have any real money? All that plastic won’t do. Ew you can keep those.” William flicked away Buffy’s tampons as if they were bugs. “I have seen enough movies to know that all your gadgets and credit cards can be traced, right? Here you can have those nasty thingies and your other girlie stuff.”

“But what about a getaway car? We need one. I can just call my chauffer…”

“Chauffer! I have a car!”

“But you’re the kidnapper, remember tracing.” Buffy stuck her tongue out at William. “I can’t believe this. I bet the cops are all over this place and you are just dancing around in the parking lot.”

“Shut up! I’ll get a car!” William walked off mumbling and turned back when Buffy didn’t follow him. “Hey I need my kidnappee! Stop sulking and help me pick out a car to nick.”

“You’re going to vandalize a car—Oh, that must be one of those slangy dumb British words.”

“Shut up. I need to concentrate. I’m this close to turning myself in.” William walked up and down the rows of cars, hoping for a person stupid enough to have left their keys in the ignition.

“Do it. See if I care.” Buffy crossed her arms in a huff. “Maybe this won’t work after all.”

Stupid. Bloody. Bitch.

Buffy was not doing William’s shot nerves any good. He sighed and hoped he had seen enough movies to get the gist of breaking into a car. Getting on his knees he ran a hand through his hair.

What did I do to deserve this? Huh, God? Was I that bad of a boy?

William found his pocketknife and put it into the car’s keyhole, only to make the car’s alarm go off.

“Make it stop! Make it stop!”

“Stop hitting me!” William growled and shoved Buffy away.

“We got to get out of here now!” Buffy crouched next to William, hiding behind screaming car. “Look!” She pointed as a group of policemen and security guards ran into the parking lot.

“Fuck. Come on!” William grabbed Buffy’s wrist and dragged her to her feet. He pulled out his gun and pointed it into Buffy’s arm. “’k, pet. Let’s not attract too much attention to ourselves. We’ll walk calmly to my car.”

“Stop! You there!”

“Shit! Just run!”
***

“Get in!” Once William had got the car unlocked he reached across to unlock manually unlock the driver’s door. “You drive and I’ll point the gun at your head.”

“I’m not the best driver, just so you know—Ah!” Buffy ducked and clutched the steering wheel as the sound of gunshots filled the air.

“I don’t care, drive!”

“I warned you.” Buffy mumbled before she quickly turned on the car. She stomped on the gas and break and nearly hit a dozen of cars in the parking lot.

“Bloody hell woman! You’re going to kill us before we reach the streets.” William leaned over and helped steer the car from the passenger seat.

Buffy sped on the busy city streets, dodging in and out of traffic. “I think you can let go now. Parking lots and me just aren’t friends.”

“You sure?” William asked but let go of the wheel. “Just remember, mirror, signal, maneuver.”

Buffy nodded and looked at in the rear view mirror, she breathed easier when it looked as if they weren’t being followed anymore. “Where are we going?”

William held the handle of the passenger door as Buffy floored the gas pedal while turning. “Other than to hell? Keep on going straight. I think we lost them.” William grabbed his stomach and swallowed. “You’re not doing too badly, with the driving, ease up on the turns, love. You’re insane but I think it worked in our favor.”

Buffy looked at William through the corner of her eye. She didn’t know how to respond to his complement and the nickname he had called her.

“You should probably take off your uniform shirt. It will give us away.” She concentrated on playing with the car radio.

“Right.” William put his gun in the glove box and worked on unbuttoning his shirt. “Let’s go over the plan again and figure out what’s going to happen next.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose when she saw the dark sweat spots under the arms of William’s white undershirt. “You kidnap me. We work on a ransom letter and get the money from Hank and then we spilt it and leave the country. I go to the sandy beaches and you go and become a janitor in Canada.”

William scrunched his face, deep in thought. “But your da hates you. Why would he give up any money to save your neck? It’s your fault that I shot him and--.”

“We tell a news station and other things like that. Summers Enterprises would go down in flames if the golden Hank Summers didn’t pay the ransom for his only daughter again.”

“Again?”

“I guess he did pay, but not after almost four months. I was eight and he didn’t seem to care until the kidnappers started sending blood soaked letters to him. One of my father’s business associates saw the news and threatened to drop his company if I wasn’t brought home in one piece, bad press is a bitch I guess, anyway then my dad decided to pay. I hate him.”

“You have good reason to, pet.”

“Yeah.” Buffy looked over her shoulder and cutoff the car behind her. “What? I need on the freeway.”

William rolled his eyes and looked at the passing road signs. “You know of anywhere we can hide out? If we must, I guess I can add breaking an entering to my list of crimes.”

“Yeah, sure and you’d set off every alarm known to man in the process.” Buffy bit her lip, thinking as William growled under his breath. “Don’t growl at me, William. I know of a place we can go. A cabin; there are trees and not a lot of people there. I may have a key, if you don’t toss it out. A friend and I used to go there all the time.”

“And your daddy doesn’t know of it?”

“No.”

“Let’s go there then.” William curled up in his seat and leaned against the window. “I’m zonkered and my nerves are shot. I’m going to nap. When you see a place to eat wake me up and pull over. I’ll help you park the car.”

***

“His name is William Giles. This is the picture from his driver’s license. He has blonde hair and blue eyes. He is under six feet tall and of a medium frame. He speaks with a British accent. He kidnapped my daughter and he shot and made a fool out of me. I want him dead.” Hank Summers’s cleared his throat and brought out his checkbook. “I will pay you both very generously if you bring my whore of a daughter back.”

“Gotcha boss. What if your girl gets in the way?”

“Kill her too then, but avoid it if possible. I have plans for Buffy.”

“We can do that, can’t we honey?” Faith smiled and patted her partner on the leg. “Can my girl have fun with him before I whack ‘em?”

“Do whatever you want. Just keep your cover and don’t get caught--.”

“You don’t have to tell see how to do our jobs, Hanky.” Faith laughed as Willow spoke. “Me and my Faith are good at what we do. No one thinks of us when they think of bounty hunters. We’re special.”
***

A/N: Review please. ;)
 

Chapter 2

“This is disgusting.” Buffy picked up a spoonful of food and let it slop back onto her plate. “My mashed potatoes are mingling with my other vegetables and my chicken smells like a hot dog.”

“It does not.”

“Yes it does.” Buffy picked up the piece of meat by stabbing it with her fork and put it under William’s nose. “Smell it. It smells and tastes like a hot dog.”

“You’ve had hot dogs before? The princess eats ground pig parts? I’m impressed.”

“I’m so not eating this.” Buffy shoved away her plate and crossed her arms over her chest.

William sighed and looked at his half eaten hamburger. “I guess…you can have mine if you’d like…”

Buffy wrinkled up her nose and batted his hand away. “Ew! You just stopped eating it. It has your bite marks and--.”

“Fine, forget I mentioned it, wouldn’t want you to choke on my cooties anyway.” William glared and continued to move food into his mouth. “I don’t know when we’re going to eat again.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full. I need to go on a diet anyway.”

“Whatever.” William rolled his eyes and drank his soda. “I’ll take over the driving for tonight. How much longer to you think we have?”

“Um, maybe…” Buffy looked up and bit her lip. “Like a few hours, more or less. I go by landmarks…”

“More or less? Landmarks?”

“Yeah.”

William shook his head and wiped his mouth and hands on his napkin. He caught the attention of their waitress. “Check please, miss.”
***

“What is your problem?!” Buffy ran after William as he walked angrily to his car. “Hey! Talk to me!” Buffy grabbed William’s shoulder and tried to spin him towards her.

“Get your hands off me!” William dug his hands in his pockets and unlocked the door of his car. He opened the glove box and pulled out a map and gave to Buffy. “Tell me you know where this place is.”

Buffy moved under the neon lights of the diner. “Of course I know where it is. It’s…” Buffy steadied the map and brought it closer to her face. “Um, it’s there.” She moved so William could look over her shoulder.

“There?” William tapped on the map. “Bloody hell.” He sighed and closed his eyes. “Well guess what, Blondie? We are here.” He pointed to a little spec that was other side of the map.

“Oh, well it’s only this much away.” Buffy measured out the distance between pointer fingers. “I must have made a wrong turn somewhere--.”

“You made a lot of sodding wrong turns. Get in the car.”

“What are we going to do?”

“Shut up and let me think about that. I’m driving from now on.”
***

“I’m cold.”

“You can use my uniform to wrap yourself in.”

“Ewww. I bet that thing is still wet with your sweat. Yuck.”

“Fine. Freeze then.”

“I hate you.”

“Mutual.”

“I’m tired.”

“You can sleep.”

“I can’t get comfortable.”

“Hop over the seat and sleep in the back. It’s comfortable.”

Buffy turned around in her seat and looked at the spotless back seat. “You really like to clean, don’t you? Do you sleep in here a lot?”

“No more talking. Sleep or shut up.”

Buffy turned back forward and sank down into the passenger seat and crossed her arms. She sighed deeply and looked out the window into the darkness. “Can we find a hotel or something?” She rubbed her hands up and down her arms for warmth and rolled her eyes when William didn’t answer her question. “What a shitty car. It doesn’t even have a heater.”

“It’s not cold, maybe if you wore an entire outfit you wouldn’t be chilled and don’t talk about my girl like that.”

“Your girl? Hello stereotype. And what’s wrong with my clothes?”

“For starters your skirt barely covers your ass and that’s just stupid. Your top is made out of a nasty thin white bit of fabric, it’s bloody indecent, and you’re flashing your goodies everywhere.”

“You pervert!” Buffy crossed her arms higher to cover her breasts. “Have you been checking me out?!”

“Believe me pet, I’ve seen enough of you to last me a lifetime and enough to know you’ve got a Wonder Bra under there--.

“What the hell are you taking about?!” Buffy sat up and turned towards William, ready to fight. “I’ve never seen you before today, there is no way that you could’ve seen me--.”

“Last night I lost my job because I stumbled in on you and your fucktoy. Didn’t you listen to my--”

“Fucktoy…oh God, you saw me with Angel?”

“Yup and that was an awful performance, sweetheart.” Buffy closed her eyes and mumbled under her breath. “What’s wrong? You don’t like that I saw your nasty sex capades? At least I didn’t have to get your ass print out of that wanker’s desk…hey, hey now I see that wobbling chin. You’re not going to cry, are you? Hey, pet I’m sor--.”

“I’m not a slut and I’m never having sex with you.”

“What?! I never—I don’t want to have sex with you. I--.”

“That’s good ‘cause it’s not going to happen!”

“Well—well I’m never having sex with you either!”
***

William didn’t know why her rejection bothered him, but it did. He turned up the radio, determined to get the girl out of his mind.

I hate her. It’s all her fault. That’s my new fucking mantra. Blame her, blame the girl, blame… Hell, I don’t even know her name. I’m not going to think about her.

I’ll think about…about my novel.

She sure got pissy thinking—knowing I don’t want her. I don’t want anything to do with her. I just don’t wanna go to jail. Besides she’s not my type. Her hair is too…shiny. Yeah it could sting a bloke’s eyes and her nose is bumpy. I hate deformed noses. Ok, it’s not deformed, just different. She’s different…

I’m not going to think about her! I hate her.
***

“What—where are we?” Buffy woke up from a nap and noticed that there was a large brown paper sack sitting between them. “What’s in there?”

“You can look if you’re curious.”

Yesh, he’s cranky. Buffy shrugged off William’s angry tone and searched through the bag by touch.

“Here.” Sighing, William pushed on the light that was overhead on the roof of the car. “And before you say anything nasty, I didn’t know what to get so I got a little of everything.”

Buffy was speechless as she pulled out the black sweatshirt that was on top of the bag. She pulled it over her head and fixed her hair.

This William…I don’t know about him. Could his not acting like an asshole just be an act to get into my pants or is he really a good guy?

Where did he stop? There’s food, toiletries, a spiral notebook, pens, a romance novel?

“Games of Love by Virilia Consuela?”

“It was on sale.” Buffy was certain that the darkness was shielding William’s blush. “Do you like the jacket?”

“Yes.” Buffy slowly opened a bag of pretzels. I guess I have to… “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”
***

“We’ll stay here tonight and then…”

“You should park in the back.”

“Right.”

“I’ll stay here so the motel people won’t see us together and that also means you’ll have to get a room with only one bed.”

“Ok. You ok with that?”

“I don’t really have a choice, besides I just want to sleep in a bed.”

“Oh.” Once the car was parked, William took the keys out of the ignition and put one foot out of the door.

He’s taking the keys. “You don’t trust me.”

“No, not yet.”

“I didn’t mess us up on purpose.”

“I know. Do you trust me?”

“I’d love to say no but that would be a lie.”

“Really?”

“But don’t get too excited, I’m just too tired to bitch at the moment. I’ll make up for it tomorrow, I promise. Just go get the room.”
***

“You’re always like this when you’re tired? You’re almost pleasant.” William watched Buffy closely since she had stepped into the dingy motel room.

“Almost.” Buffy laughed and set her purse on the cheap wooden table that was in the tiny room. “Are you waiting for me to complain about the room?”

“Yes, it’s disgusting. I asked for a non-smoking and smell it. Yuck. And I don’t even want to know where the stains on the floor came from. I’m pissing in my pants afraid to look at the bed sheets.”

“You’re not used to these kinds of places?”

“No, just because I’m—I was a janitor that doesn’t mean--.”

“Cool it, William. I wasn’t trying to be mean.”

“Are you saying you’re used to flea bag motels? Yeah right.”

“Let’s just say my mom isn’t from the same income tax bracket as my father.” Buffy ran her hand over the thin scratchy burnt orange bedspread. “But I’ll stop now, I have a reputation to protect.”

William stared at Buffy, not knowing how to handle her change in moods. I guess there’s more to the girl than I thought.

“You don’t have to a…pretend around me if you’d like.”

“Sure, William whatever you say.” Buffy laughed and pulled down the sheets of the bed. “See no stains and I think the pillows don’t smell and just so you know, I would’ve given you the nastier one.” Buffy laughed again at William’s confused face as she climbed into the bed. “You stay on your side and I’ll stay on mine and if we do that, I won’t have to beat you up.”
***

William came out of the bathroom with his shirt off but his shoes still on. He shook his head at the sound of Buffy’s light snores.

Thank God she didn’t force me to sleep on the floor. I’m not even gonna walk barefoot on that floor.

William took off his shoes and made sure his feet never touched the dirty floor before he got under the sheets.

Sighing William rested his head on the pillow and brought the covers high on his chest.

Maybe she’s not as bad as I thought. She’s still insane and I’ll still blame her but…

William rolled over so he faced Buffy’s back. She had taken off her jacket and she was only in her flimsy white shirt.

I guess there’s nothing wrong with her nose and hell shiny hair can be a good thing sometimes…
***

“Are you writing the ransom note?” Buffy propped herself on her elbows and peeked over at what William was writing in the spiral that he had bought the day before.

“No.” William quickly closed the notebook and looked guilty.

“What were you writing then?” Buffy rested flat on her stomach and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. He’s not too bad to look at first thing in the morning. She admired his lean and muscular frame. Too bad he’s not my type… “Is it a diary?”

“No it’s not a bloody diary.”

“Oh so you prefer the term journal.”

“No, I don’t, it’s nothing like that. If you must know I was writing my novel from memory. My usual notebook was left behind.”

“Do you write romances? That would explain the love book…” Buffy couldn’t keep a straight face as she teased him and covered her face to cover her laughter.

William wanted to leave her abuse but he didn’t feel like putting on his shoes and then if he did leave, he’d either have to hide in the bathroom or outside. “Laugh, I’m used to it.”

“Hey, don’t pout, it’ll spoil your good looks.”

“Carry on, you’ve mocked my writing and my face. Is there anything else you want to take a jab at?”

“You’re cranky in the morning. Not a morning person?”

“No.”

“Please tell me about your book. I’ll be nice, I promise.”

“You promise?”

“Cross my heart. I’ll prove that I’m trustworthy.” She smiled and sat next to him with her legs crossed and still keeping a gap between them.

“Ok.” He turned so he could face her.

Look at that. He has a nice smile, he must be really proud of this book. Be nice Buffy. Be nice.

“It’s a about a girl that protects her family, friends, city and the whole world on a daily basis from evil. What kind of evil? You name it. We’re talkin’ slimy fish demons, vampires, and mummy hands. Anything. Everything.”

“How does she fight all that stuff? Does she have powers? Like Batman or something?”

“Well she doesn’t prance about in a cape but she’s really strong and she has a few powers but she’ll develop them over time.”

“Hmmm. So it’s sci-fi?”

“Yes, it’s a mixture of every genre imaginable. I want it all, she’ll tackle it all.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad. Why did you think I’d laugh?”

“Because.”

Buffy caught a glimpse of embarrassment in his eyes. “What’s your wonder woman’s name?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Don’t know. Just curious.”

“That’s my problem; I’ve never given her a name. Nothing sounds right. What’s your name, pet?”

“You don’t know my name?”

“We weren’t formally introduced, remember?”

“Didn’t you get those awful company Christmas cards? With the picture? Hank sent one to all the employees.”

“Janitors don’t get bloody greeting cards.”

“Sorry.”

“Besides I worked there for ten years, did you ever see me with my mop and soap bucket?”

“No.”

“Well there you--.”

“But wait don’t think I didn’t mingle with the cleaning people. Who’s that guy? The balding one? Kinda shrimpy?”

“Snyder? He was my supervisor.”

“Poor you. What an asshole. He hit on me once. See I mingled.”

“I knew there was a reason I hated that guy.” William felt a pang of anger for Buffy. Why should I care if she got the wrath of Snyder for a second or too… “But look!” William excitedly showed Buffy his cracked knuckle. “I hit him the night I was fired, it hurt like hell but it was worth it in the end.”

“Well I’m leaving you with your war wounds. I’ll be in the shower and my name is Buffy.”

Buffy? William watched as she ran to the bathroom. Buffy the Vampire Slayer? That has a nice ring. She’d kill me if I used her name…

Buffy. It suits her.
***

 

Chapter 3

“Are you sure I can’t write a note?” William looked ahead and stared at the pay phone from the safety of the parked car.

“A note would have to be mailed. We can’t sit here all day.”

“Oh, I’m sure we can.” He laughed, slightly embarrassed with himself. “I hate talking on the bloody phone. Just a normal phone call makes me skittish and now I have to demand a ransom…I wish I could have a drink.”

“I’d rather have you nervy than boozed up. How much are you asking for? If you ever get out of the car that is…”

“I don’t know.”

“How about two million? It’s not too much and it can be spilt easily.”

William looked in Buffy’s direction for the first time since he had parked the car in front of the abandoned building. “What would I do with a million dollars, pet?”

“Anything you want to do.”

“Right.”
***

“Don’t say a word until I tell you to.”

Buffy rolled her eyes at William’s unnecessary demand and leaned on the panel of the pay phone. She felt her heart speed up, knowing that William had their futures in his sweaty hands. Keeping her ear close, she listened carefully to the muffled sounds coming through the telephone and she grimaced as she eavesdropped on William’s pathetic attempt at extortion.

“Hi, Mr. Summers. It’s me. What? Look, I—yes, that’s right. Me. Kidnapper! Yes. What?! Well, no, it’s not like that! That’s bloody unfair! Now--.”

Buffy quickly took the phone from William and hung it up.

“What are you doing?! You cut me off! I was--.”

“What were you doing, William?” Buffy stood between William and the pay phone. “That was sad.”

“It was not! I was negotiating with your father but the bastard kept on interrupting!” He stomped his foot in frustration. “I couldn’t get a fucking work in! It wasn’t my fault--.”

“Good God William, is anything your fault?!”

“No--.”

“Someday, someday soon, I’m just going to kick you William, right in the shin and I hope it will leave a bruise.”

“What--.”

“Shut up. I need you… I need you to be a bad ass! I need you to scream and yell and…William, if we’re going to get any money my dad has to be afraid of you. You need to go in hard and fast.”

“Hard and fast?”

Buffy took the receiver into her hand. “I’m you, ok? Now imagine it’s ringing. You psyche yourself up. Grrr.”

“Grrr.”

“That’s right, but you sound like a kitty William.” She cleared her throat and with no warning, Buffy began screaming into the phone. “Now you fucking asshole, I’ve got your daughter here and I’m going to mail her back to you in pieces if I don’t get what I want, I’m going to cut her fingers off with a pair of pliers and fry them up for breakfast.” Buffy quickly reverted to her calm, normal voice. “Yada, yada, on and on like that for probably no longer than thirty seconds.”

“You’re insane.” William was starring, open-mouthed, torn between being impressed and horrified. “Where did you get all that from?”

“A movie.” Buffy couldn’t help but flash a proud grin. “Try, practice and then call him again.”

“Grrr, right? I did shot him, didn’t I? He should be a little spooked…right?”

“Sure you shot him but then you bawled like a baby.” Buffy took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Maybe he needs a different approach…

“You’re the kidnapper, William. Kidnappers don’t negotiate; it’s a sign of weakness. Psyche yourself up and call him again. Remember, demand and yell. Remember, that you shot him and think of how you’ve been wronged by him. You can do this William. I…I believe in you.”
***

She needs me.

William blinked in shock and didn’t know how to react.

She believes in me.

“I need more quarters.”

“Are you sure you can do it now?”

“I—I think so.”

“William.”

“Right! Right!”

“Do you need another example--?”

“No!” William avoided Buffy’s gaze and looked at the buttons of the phone as Buffy placed coins in his hand. “Didn’t you mention we could call the media? Um, do you have their number?”
***

“You don’t have to call anymore.” Buffy searched through her purse. “You’ve called everyone that I can think of, well except Hank.” She grinned at the fear that sparked in William’s eye. “But I think this will be ok…the TV people should be camping out at Summers Enterprises and at the mansion. You did well, but now we’re gonna have a lot people on our tail. Even if you wanted to call, we’re completely out of quarters.”

William followed Buffy to the car and opened the passenger door for her. “Um…thanks for all the motivational speaking back there; I couldn’t have done it without you…”

She frowned but got into the car. He’s not going to put on my seat belt now, is he? “You’re welcome. Let’s get out of here.”
***

“M&M?”

“Sure, pet. Thank you.”

“Do you trust me yet?”

“Do you want me to trust you?”

“Maybe.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“That’s not a real answer.”

“It’s what you’re going to get, William.”

“Well, then I might trust you.”

“I can live with that. Where are we heading?”

“East, I hope.”

“Are we going to stop soon?”

“I don’t know. Like you said, I’m sure everybody will be after us now. Stopping would be dangerous. We may be sleeping in the car tonight, pet.”

“Why do you call people ‘pet’?”

“Don’t know, it sounded right and it stuck. The girls always took a fancy to it too.”

“Oh.” Buffy looked out the window at the passing scenery and dismissed the tingles of jealously that disturbed her heart.

The girls…
***

“He’s calling all the major networks!” Hank threw a glass with his good arm and angrily kicked his desk. “Ow!” He hopped a little before collapsing in his leather chair. “Two million dollars! Two million dollars!” Hank dug through his desk drawer and frantically searched for his red stress ball.

“Mr. Summers, there is a Riley Finn to see you.” The secretary opened the door for the tall, sandy haired man and then the two men alone in Hank’s office.

“I came as soon as I heard.”

“Who are you?”

“My name is Riley Finn--.”

“I know your name. Who are you?”

“I’m Buffy’s boyfriend and I want to help you get her back.”

“Don’t we all?” Hank grumbled and rolled his eyes. “I didn’t know Buffy had a steady boyfriend.”

“Well, she always stressed making our relationship private…”

“Is that right? So Riley, where does your father work?”
***

“Goodie, now we’re gonna have some fun.” Faith turned up the television and petted Willow’s hair.

“Maybe that guy isn’t so dumb after all.” Willow shrugged and watched the news with her head resting in Faith’s lap. “Are we going to start tailing them now? We need to get them before the police do.”

“I guess we have to. We can’t let Hankie down.”

“Hankie.” Willow giggled and stroked Faith’s bare knee. “I can’t wait ‘til we get all that money. One hundred thousand dollars…”

“It could be more if we play our cards right. Won’t it just be peachy if we got our paychecks and a bit of that ransom money?”

“Oh, that sounds wonderful.”
***

“Are you enjoying the book?”

Buffy wrinkled her nose but didn’t look up from the page she was reading. “It’s a romance, there’s a guy and girl and they fall in love.”

“Well that makes sense; it is called the ‘Games of Love,’ right? A romantic storyline should be a given…”

“It’s crap.”

“How many pages have you read?”

“Two hundred, all crap.”

“You really read that much of a story you hate?”

“Fine, I’ll admit it, I’m skimming through most of it and just reading the sex scenes, happy now?”
***

//“I’ll be the judge of that,” he said firmly, closing his shiny leather briefcase and snapping the gold lock into place. “I’ve got a flight to catch.”

For a moment fury burned in her eyes and her cheeks flushed with anger, but all was extinguished by a single flash of his incandescent smile. She almost hated him for the power he so effortlessly exerted over her emotions, but the truth was that she loved him too much.

She traced a finger around the waist of his Italian designer suit, sensing his firm abdominal muscles through the crisp cotton of his tailored English linen shirt. Avoiding his cold, gloating gaze, she let her hand drift down toward the swelling of his passion below. She heard his breathing become shallow and a flicker of a smile played upon her lips as she meditated on the power she now held.

“Are you sure you want to catch that flight?//

Buffy tapped on the partially rolled down window, making William squeal and drop the book that he had been reading. “You scared me. Um, I was just…you’re bookmark fell out and I wanted to put it back in the right place and…”

Buffy pushed two greasy bags of food in William’s face and walked around the car with their drinks in her hands. “No barometer is more sensitive to the needs and desires of men and women than a novel with a gold embossed title, huh?” Buffy got into the car and put the Styrofoam cups into the cup holders.

“Huh?”

“You’re still in an embarrassed daze I see. Reading is nothing to be ashamed of, even if it’s bullshit.” Buffy picked up the book off the floor and looked at the binding, finding where William had made a crease. “Would you like it if I read it to you as you drove? Just seeing your blushy face would be more entertaining than reading it myself.”

William looked at Buffy in horror, not knowing how he would react to Buffy reading him a seedy romance novel.

I’ll run off the road and kill us. Quick, think of an excuse. “Aren’t you going to eat?”

“I can wait. I’ll read until it’s dark.”
***

“This was the moment for which she had waited so long. She gasped in delight as she sensed the firm exploratory pressure of his flesh.” Buffy cleared her throat and turned the last page. “Her mind filled with a thousand crazy images while the frisson of delight erupted between her thighs. In the hidden recesses of her pelvis, their bodies fused into one writhing mass of torrid sexual imperative. She pulled him closer, deeper, unable to stop. This indeed was perfect love: inexplicable, unpredictable, and absolutely beyond control.”

Buffy closed the book and turned off the tiny flashlight that she had used as a night-light and left her and William in darkness except for the green glow of the dash as they sped down the highway.
***

Bloody hell.

William gritted his teeth and attempted to nonchalantly adjust his pants.

Damn that book, damn her voice. Was she trying to kill us or just me? What was she up to?

William glanced at Buffy and swallowed, feeling his already-excited lower regions twitch at the sight of the moon beaming on her face, making Buffy’s skin look pearly and soft to the touch.

“This can’t be good.” William murmured under his breath and changing the radio station to an oldies radio station.

“Shit.” William heard a few words of the song that was playing before he quickly started pushing buttons, desperate to change the station, but he was too late, the words had already done their damage.

Falling? Yes I am falling.

Shit.
***

“Hey, hey Buffy.” William gently shook her shoulder. “Wake up, love.”

“Huh?”

“I hate to wake you but we’re stopping here for the night and I thought you’d like to sleep in the back so you don’t get any aches and pains from sleeping leaning against the window.”

“Oh.” Buffy rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and brushed her hands on her jacket, smoothing out non-existent wrinkles. “Where’re you going to sleep?”

“Up here, now in the back with you.”

“But I don’t wanna put my boots on.” Buffy whined and looked out the window. “I don’t wanna walk barefoot out there, we’re parked in a field.”

“You don’t think you can hop over the seat?”

“I could, but I’m not exactly dressed for hopage.” She pointed at her pleaded mini-skirt.

“I’ll close my eyes.”

“Really?”

“Really. See? I can’t see a bloody thing.” William closed his eyes and looked forward.

“Um…” Buffy struggled over the seat and landed with a plop. “Done. Thanks, again.”

“You’re welcome.” William stretched his legs along the bench seat and rested the side of his head against the back of the seat. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”
***

This is just a common reaction to not being treated like shit, that’s it, nothing more and nothing less. I like William, sure I do, and he’s a nice guy for an unstable kidnapper and guy who shot my father in the arm. But that’s it…nothing more.

Buffy rolled over again and struggled to get comfortable.

This, this strangle tinglely feeling is just the beginnings of a new friendship. Maybe he’ll visit years from now when I’m living in my beach house…I don’t have any other feelings for the guy.

Even if he is kinda hot and that accent can seem really sexy over long periods of time…but it doesn’t mean anything else.
***
 

Chapter 4

“According the phone number from the ransom call, they are heading east on I-40.” Riley extended his silver pointer and ran it along the stretch of highway. “The calls were made approximately six hours ago and if they are driving at night, they could already be in Arizona and on their way to New Mexico. I suggest we fly there on the company jet.”

“There is no we and who said that you had any access to the company jet?”

“Mr. Summers, I think it would be in Buffy’s best interest--.”

“I don’t give a damn about Buffy’s interests and as far as I’m concerned the kidnapper can do whatever he wants with my daughter. Why do you care so much about my whore of a child? Is she that good of a lay? Or do you just want the glory of finding her first and your name in all the newspapers? Because I’m not ashamed to say I have hired people to the same job that you so desperately want to accomplish. I’m not giving you a dime if you find her.”

“I don’t want your money, Hank--.”

“That’s Mr. Summers to you.”

“Sorry.” Riley cleared his throat and continued, “Mr. Summers to be perfectly honest, I want to marry your daughter…sure we’ve had some issues in the past but I think if you approved maybe she would give us a second chance.”

Hank looked at the man as if he had lost his mind. “You either have a lot to learn or your dumber than I expected.”
***

“Welcome, welcome.” The game show host jumped in front of the studio audience, smiling and pretending to be humbled by their fanatical applause. “Oh, stop. Stop. Well as you already know you’re watching the game show Perfect Love and I’m your host, Lorne and my lovelies, I shall introduce to you our contestants. William Giles and Buffy Summers!”

Buffy waved to the audience and smiled widely for the camera. “Hi everybody! It’s so nice to be here!”

“Now let’s see or other contestant! Bring him out boys!”

William was confused and afraid as he felt himself being wheeled onto the loud soundstage. What the hell is going on? I’m blindfolded? What am I tied to?

“Now if you’re watching at home for the first time, I’ll explain the rules. William, here, his life is in danger…”

Shit.

“And only Buffy can save his life…”

Shit.

“So now we’ve tied him to a enlarged dart board that will spin and all that Buffy has to do is shoot William in the heart with an arrow…”

Shit.
***

“William.” Buffy peeked over the seat and contemplated throwing her jacket onto his face in an attempt to stop his snoring.

Where are those nose strip thingies when you need one?

“No…no.”

“No, what? William, wake up.”

“She’ll kill me…”

“Great, little Willie’s having nightmares.” Buffy smiled mischievously and wiggled to the edge of the back seat so she could see his face.

Awww, that’s kinda cute, he’s hugging his uniform.

Before Buffy could think about the consequences of her actions, she ran a finger along his arm.

I wonder… She found his hand that was resting on his side and slowly opened his fingers, staring at his face the whole time, hoping he wouldn’t wake.

What would I say? Sorry William, you were sleeping and I wanted to take the opportunity to see if you had dishpan hands?

Buffy rolled her eyes and noticed that William had settled down once she had taken his hand in hers.

Weird. Nice hands though, big and smooth.

“What are you doing?” William took his hands away to rub his eyes. “Why did you let me sleep so long? Damn that was a weird dream.”

Buffy flew back and tired to act calm. “What was going to kill you?”

“Kill me? Was I talking in my sleep? I hate when that happens.” He ran a hand through his hair and sat up still looking groggy. “What time is it?”

“Sixish.”

“My dream was insane, you were in it actually.”

“You were dreaming about me? Ewww. New subject. I so don’t want to hear about your wet dreams.”

“Wet…? It was nothing like that! We were on a game show and--.”

“I’m not listening.” Buffy covered her ears.

“Fine. Let’s change the subject. Why where you touching me when I woke up?”

Caught, crap. Ok, just think of a good excuse. “There was a fly on you so I was…”

“A fly?”

“Yes.”

“You wanted to touch me, pet? All you had to do was ask.”

“Shut up and wipe that smirk off your face.”

***

“Close your eyes, I’m coming up to you.”

“I can’t, I’m driving.”

“No peeking then.” Buffy tumbled into the front seat, making a conscious decision to have her butt away from William’s vision. I don’t need him to look at my ass, especially with the thong… “It feels like we’ve been driving forever. When do we get to shower? I feel icky.” Buffy took off her sweatshirt and threw it in the back seat.

“Don’t we all?”

“And we’re running out of food, well if you want to call Skittles and a melty bag of chocolate covered raisins food to begin with.”

“There’s a truck stop coming up and they have showers and it’s more than likely that it will have a buffet too.”

“Oh. That’s good.”

“Yeah.”
***

“What kind of place is this?” Buffy zipped up her boots and walked across the gravel parking lot. “It’s like another land of buffaloes and real Indian made blankets.” Buffy squinted and looked at the mountain before them. “And there’s plastic animals on the side of the mountain?”

“Love, welcome to your first tourist trap.”

“Trap, eh?”

“Come on let’s look for the showers and I bet we can find some overpriced clothing too. I would love to get out of these clothes.”
***

“Stop laughing.”

“I can’t. I think we’re cursed.” Buffy walked into the shower room with her hands full with towels and toiletries. “Only we would get stuck with a coed shower.”

“There are curtains.”

“Pink curtains that won’t cover either of us from head to toe.”

“You go on one side of the room and I’ll go on the other.”

“But…” Buffy stared wide-eyed at the other people already showering. “But there’s lots of shady looking people in here. At least I know you won’t be accidentally dropping the soap. These truckers aren’t very attractive…”

“Are you saying you need me to protect you?”

“Shut up and stop looking so puffy. I just would rather have you next to me and don’t read more into it or I’ll slap you.”

“Is there more to read into?”

“Shut up.” Buffy walked through the lines of shower stalls and found one in the corner with an open shower next to it. “I’ll use this one and you use that one.”

“Why do you get the one next to the wall?”

“Because I’m the girl.”

“Right.”

Buffy and William both avoided each other’s eyes as they each stepped into their separate stalls.

Ok mate, settle down. Don’t think that she’ll be standing naked and showering a mere foot away. Besides you’ve seen her naked already and it was nothing to write home about.

But that was when I hated her. I don’t hate her any more…I’m dreaming about her…Fuck.

William could see Buffy pulling off her top in the corner of his eye.

This is not going to be easy.

William quickly undressed and turned on the water before Buffy and sighed, relieved that he could close his eyes and not look like a wuss.

No nothing with this girl is easy at all, I reckon.

“Shit!”

“What?”

“I…um, nothing. Just stand there with your eyes closed and we’ll be ok.”

“Buffy…”

“It’s nothing I promise.”
***

Yup, I’m cursed.

Buffy glared at the soap she had dropped that was over on Spike’s side. If I ask him to pick it up, he’ll see me and if I pick it up, I see him.

Ok, I’ll just go down there, keeping my eyes down and then I’ll get my stupid soap.

“Buffy?”

“Huh?”

“Did you drop your soap? Because I think I stepped on it.”

“God…maybe.”

“Are you going to get it any time soon? Because if I slip and fall on my ass…I won’t be happy.”

“Ok, I’ll get it but I’m not looking ok?”

“Of course, why would you be interested in looking at my dangly bits?

“Yeah why?” Buffy crouched close to the bottom of the titled floor and saw her soap next to William’s foot.

“What are you doing?”

“Closing my eyes and trying to grab the soap. Sorry for touching your foot. It’s a nice foot…”

“Why thank you. Now will you get the bloody soap?!”

“Got it. Standing. Sorry.”
***

“Ah, gotta love the clearance rack. I think we can manage buying two outfits apiece.” William looked around the back of the store and pointed at a separate bin. “And there’s pants over there.”

“So you’re going to wear a shirt that says, ‘I love buffaloes?”

“If I must. But look a plain blue shirt.” William held up his prize and smiled. “I think you’ll have to love buffaloes.”

“But you said two outfits.” Buffy stuck out her tongue and pulled out chose a pink and white baseball style shirt with a Route 66 logo. “This is actually cute.”

“It will go great with these. They only have bloody pajamas on sale.” He wrinkled his nose in disgust. “I think I’ll stay in my jeans.”

“You should get at least one pair to sleep in. Here, these are so you. They have little moccasins and tomahawks on them. I can’t believe these come in adult sizes.”

William watched as Buffy went from the rack back to the bin of clothes a few times. “What are you doing?”

“Coordinating colors, duh.”

“Oh forgive me.”

“What size do you wear? Give me that shirt. I’ll find you some good stuff. You look for the food.”
***

“You’re sure about this?”

“Yes, I’m sure it looks great. Let me see.” Buffy stood outside of the stall and stared at her reflection. It was coed bathroom with only one stall and a separate sink. Buffy pulled on the hem of her new shirt.

Cute. She was wearing the snug pink shirt with matching black and pink pajama bottoms and new white rubber flip-flops.

“Do you keep the receipt because…” William stepped out of the stall.

Wow. Buffy looked up and focused on his reflection as he stood behind her. Wow.

“This is way too tight. Isn’t?”

“No, it…it looks really good.”

“But…” William pulled on the form-fitting black shirt and grimaced. “I don’t think this will be comfortable.”

“William, trust me. You look hot.”

“Hot?”

“Yeah.”

“Um…” William looked away embarrassed, “You look nice.”

“Thanks.”
***

“Does everything smell as it should?”

“So far so good.”

William watched as Buffy ate her breakfast, surprised at how young she looked without makeup and in different clothing.

“I’d hate to mention this,” Buffy leaned closer and whispered across the table, “ but should we get a new car?”

“What do you mean?”

“I know it’s your girl but maybe we should ditch it somewhere to throw people off our trail.”

“But we don’t know if anyone is after us. We haven’t heard anything yet. I don’t wanna abandon my car until we have to…”

“I understand. Sorry it was just a thought. I really didn’t want to change cars anyway. It is probably the cleanest car I’ve ever rode in and you were right, the back seat is comfy.”

“Why thank you, love. You’ve been awfully nice today.”

“Almost pleasant?” Buffy asked and smiled, covering her mouth as she ate and spoke, “Even I can’t be bitchy all the time. If I had to spend another hour in my other clothes, I would’ve bit your head off but I’m clean and in new clothes and eating halfway decent food. I’m a happy Buffy.’

“I’m glad to hear it.”

And if a happy Buffy makes him smile like that, maybe I’ll let her out more often. He’s quite handsome and…he’s growing on me.
***
 

Chapter 5

“I’ve been thinking a lot about this, tell me your opinion. You want some more syrup, pet? It’s too sweet for my liking.” William gave her the container and cleared his throat and spoke between taking bites of his pancakes. “I need a love interest for our girl. She’s a bloody superhero so a normal bloke just isn’t going to do. So I’m thinking about making her fall for a vamp.”

Buffy groaned, “Isn’t that nearing a cliché? Making her love something she is destined to hate and destroy?”

“That’s what I was afraid of too.” He leaned forward, excited to know that he and Buffy thought alike. “So I’m considering giving him a curse. I’m not sure what kind, but I want him to be the equivalent of a fluffy puppy in her eyes.”

“But he’d have to be some form of help to her because that would be her justification for having him around and for being around him.”

“Exactly! He would still be everything a vampire is, strong and a bloodsucker but I want a catch, something different...”

“Hmmm…I’ve seen enough horror movies to know that vampires have the rep of being sex gods…all that extra strength and agility for unnatural sexual positions…it’s a very romantic concept…what if you made it so he couldn’t have sex?”

“No sex?”

“Wait.” Buffy wiped off her mouth with a napkin and bounced a little in the booth. “Ok so some guy helps the slayer, you know points her in the right direction and becomes like a guardian angel and all the while you make sure the reader doesn’t know anything about him. She works at night and so does he; no one will think that he’s anything but a hot guy trying to get in her pants. Make the reader root for a relationship between the two. And then let’s say they’re out killing some demon and she gets hurt, nothing big but something to make her bleed--.”

“Oh! And then he can tend to her wounds and then being around her blood makes him vamp out uncontrollably!”

“Even better, they kiss and then she opens her eyes…vampire.”

“You’re a genius!”

“I know.” She shrugged of his comment but smiled anyway. “Then she warms up to the thought of him being her vampire boyfriend…until she learns about the curse.”

“Yeah?”

“Make him a tall, dark and broody kinda guy. Never happy and always down in the dumps, a regular mope. That will be his curse.”

“Huh?”

“He was a thoughtless killer in the past, until he killed some witch or something like that. Then give him a curse that makes him have a conscience and that makes him feel ubers of guilt about being a vampire. See? It would be a reason why he wanted to help the slayer in the first place; you know the road to redemption and all that crap. And make it where the curse is broken when he actually allows himself a moment of happiness. Because when he’s happy, he’ll forget about all the broodiness of his existence and it will free him to returning to the bad ass self that he once was. And what will give him a happy? Sex with the slayer. Which means no sex, which will lead to your tension.”

“But they could make love once and unleash his demon…that would give me a lot to run with by itself…Guess what pet? I think you’ve just become my co-author. We make a fantastic team.”

“Really? You want me to help you write?”

“Yeah, why not? You and I think alike and that’s kinda nice, especially since I don’t know how long we’ll be traveling together with all this kidnapping business, just think of all the golden material we could have before this is over with.”

“Hmmm…ok.”

“Ok?”

“Ok.”
***

He said, ‘make love.’ Buffy laughed under her breath, not sure why the words left her feeling strange. Fuck I can handle, maybe even shag, but make love? It’s like hearing your mom say penis…

Blah.

She pushed the thoughts out of her mind and walked to through the restaurant to its bathroom.

I think he likes me.

Blah.

She pushed through the door of the stall and locked the door.

I know he loves that story and he wants to share it with me…damn that’s a big deal.

Blah.

She sighed and began to untie the strings of her pajama pants.
***

“Now where to?” Buffy asked as they approached William’s car. She watched as he put their bags in the back seat and then ran around the car so he could open the door for her. “Thanks, but you don’t have to do that.”

“Um…sorry, habit.”

“Oh, it’s not a bad thing, I’m not used to it.”

“That’s a shame, pet.”

“I guess.”

“Do you think we should try to find a place again? Somewhere to hang out?”

“Yeah because you’ll need to call back and say where Hank can drop off the money, but I think we could drive more today and find another hotel for tonight.”

“Sounds good.” After buckling his seatbelt, William started the car and headed towards the freeway. “I’ll be happy to stop driving for awhile the scenery is nice but it’s a pain sitting all day.”

“We should go out somewhere tonight when we stop.”

“Like a date?”

“Like me and you going to get food and possibly there could be dancing.”

“Dancing, huh?”

“Maybe.”

“I’ll look forward to it.”
***

“Shit! Shit!”

“What?” Buffy woke with a start and stared as William continued to curse at the radio. “What?!”

“Listen.” He turned up the news report and panted heavily as he sped on the highway. “Now they’re after us, the police are on the lookout and they spotted us at the tourist stop.”

“Well we weren’t really hiding, were we?”

“Balls.” He grumbled and ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

“Huh?”

“We need to dump the car…and get disguises or something. You interested in being a brunette again, pet?”

“How do you…shut up! Why do you have to keep on reminding me that you’ve seen me naked?!”

“Because it lightens the mood. What are we gonna do? What if we get caught?”

“We won’t get caught.”

“How can you say that with so much confidence?”

“Because if I panic like you, would that help us? You freak out and I’ll be the calm the one.”

“So we’ll balance out?”

“Mmmm…yeah.”

“I just don’t like not knowing what’s going to happen next. Nothing is guaranteed at the moment, hell we don’t even know if we’re going to get our money--.”

“We’ll get the money. You won’t be going to jail. I’ll help you with your novel and it will be really good, maybe even a best seller. We’ll find somewhere to hide tomorrow and then when we’re not on the road, the police won’t know where to look.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”
***

“I need to pee.”

“Again? We already stopped not too long ago, pet.”

“I saw the sign back there for a McDonald’s; get off at this exit.”

“We shouldn’t be going through highly populated areas…”

“I. Need. To. Pee.”

“Fine, fine.”
***

“I want to stay over there tonight.” Buffy tapped on William’s shoulder and pointed to the motel across the street from the fast food restaurant.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not staying in a bloody teepee.”

“They’re wigwams.”

“Doesn’t matter, I don’t wanna.”

“Please? I’ve always wanted to stay in one. It will be fun, an adventure. Please?”

“It’s too close to the freeway.”

“Park in the back.”

“They look really tiny.”

“So what? We’ll snuggle.”

“What?”

“Please?” Buffy pouted her lip and batted her eyes. “Please William? When will we have the chance to sleep in a cylinder shaped motel room again?”
***

“This is great!”

“So teepees make you happy? I’ll remember that.” William looked around the small room and shrugged. “It is tiny but it’ll do.”

“Hehe.” Buffy sat on the edge of the bed and bounced. “Well that’s gonna suck.”

“What?”

“No door to the bathroom.”

“Oh. I’ll be closing my eyes a lot I gather.”

“Yes sir.”

“Was it what you expected? The room?”

“Yup, even better. It’s old and musty and I’ll be shocked if the air conditioner will work and the shower curtain…” She craned her neck to peek into the bathroom that was literally inches away from their bed. “It’s see through.”

“Goodie, I’ll be hiding under the covers all night so I won’t see any of your goodies.”

“No you won’t, we’re going out, remember? Our date?”

William grinned and looked away, he had remembered and he wasn’t going to bring it up and risk looking like a fool. “Where we going, love?”
***

“Great, it’s bloody Karaoke Night.” William grumbled and grabbed Buffy’s wrist and let her to the back of the smoky bar to an empty table. “You shouldn’t have worn those things again. You want me to get your jacket from the car?”

Buffy looked down at her tank top and mini skirt and frowned. “You really hate my clothes? I didn’t want to come here in my pjs, especially with you looking nice in your yummy, tight clothes.”

“Yummy?”

“I don’t need my jacket and if you see my ass or God-forbid, a nipple, just deal with it and I’ll let you tease me about it tomorrow.”

“Will do. Damn, I hate this fucking song. Where’s a waitress?”

“What song?” Buffy sat up in her chair and listened to the loud jukebox. “I’ve never heard it before. Bad memories?”

“Yeah, of my ex.”

“Oooh, bad break up?”

“I wouldn’t say it was a bad relationship. No, Dru and I, we had some great times together, we just, you know, grew apart as people. We were both very…adult about it. There was no bitterness on either side.”

“She left you.”

“No, no, no, no. What does a bloke have do to get a drink in here?” He tapped his fingers on the table and avoided Buffy’s eyes. “Yes, she left me.”

“The aerobics instructor?”

“Jesus, how do you know that?”

“You have the demeanor of a man whose partner has left him for an aerobics instructor.”

“I do? What do I have a sign on my back or something? ‘Kick me?’ ‘Loser?”

“You dreamed of something better and she wanted something now, right?”

“Fuck.”
***

“Better?”

“Much.” William drank his beer and pushed his memories of Drusilla aside. “Can I tell you about a dream I keep on having?”

“No.”

“It’s a strange dream…”

“Please, I don’t want to hear about it.”

“I swear it’s harmless and not what you think.”

“No.”

“Right, sorry.”

“It’s just that…” Buffy sighed and finished her beer. “Dreams can mean so many different things and I just don’t wanna get into it…I’ll read into it and it won’t be pretty, trust me.”

“I do.” He said the words quickly and hoped Buffy may have missed his confession. “So tell me a dark and nasty secret. I told you ‘bout Drusilla.”

“Drusilla? What kinda name is that?”

“I don’t know Buffy.”

“Shut up. Now listen, if I win, you’re buying me a Wigwam Motel lamp, with the shade.”

“Win what? You want one of those tacky things?”

“And if you win…” Buffy lined up two rows of glasses. “You can get whatever. But there’s a pattern, ‘k? Salt, lemon, alcohol.”

“You sure?”

“Indulge me, William.”

“Alright.”
***

“Tie. Again?”

“Yeah.”
***

William blinked and found himself staring into a spotlight on a stage. He swallowed and wiped the back of his hand across his forehead. With tequila burning in his stomach, William spoke into the microphone. “H—Hello. This is kinda neat.” He chuckled and tapped the mic. “I wanna sing a song, a duet with my Buffy. Buffy! Buffy! Where are you, love? This song is very important to us.”

“I don’t sing.” Buffy spoke between clenched teeth after she was pushed on stage.

“Neither do I.” He whispered, before wrapping an arm around Buffy’s shoulders. “Miss, can we have another round of drinks before we start?”
***

“It's far beyond a star, it's near beyond the moon…I know beyond a doubt…”

“You have a lovely singing voice.”

“Thanks.” Buffy hiccupped and took another drink. “You have a lovely…a lovely…damn, I just think you’re lovely, William.”

“I think you’re lovely too.”

Buffy covered her mouth and giggled. “You already said that.”

“Oh, sorry. You wanna sing again?”

“No, I wanna go back to our teeepeee. Isn’t that a fun word? Teeeeepee?”

“God, you’re drunk pet.”

“So are you?”

“True. Let’s go.”
***

“Stop falling like that. Here let me help. Lean on me.” Buffy grabbed onto William’s shirt and gasped. “God, you feel nice.” She slid her hand under his shirt and ran her palm over the muscles of his chest. “Really nice.”

“Thanks.” William stumbled, as they walked down the sidewalk and to their motel. “Stop petting me though, I may get the wrong idea about you, my Buffy.”

“We’re almost home. Oops.” Buffy laughed as William slipped from her grip and fell to the ground. “William, get up.”

“No. I like it down here. Join me.” He caught her at the bend of her knee and made it so she collapsed on him. “Nice, huh?”

“Very.” She tucked her hair behind her ears and continued to laugh as she laid on him. “You’re comfy.”

“So are you.”

“Is your hand up my skirt?”

“Um…no.”

“Your hand is on my ass, William.”

“Erm…I didn’t want you to flash our neighbors.”

Buffy swallowed and became dazed by William’s wild hair and boyish expression. “Did your lips always look so soft?”

“I try to keep ‘em looking their best, you know.”

Buffy froze and felt him panting underneath her and the warmth of his hand against the bare cheek of her behind. She licked her lips and bent down closer to William’s face.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t know.” She pressed her lips to William’s bottom lip and paused, it wasn’t really a kiss, just an experimental touch. She pulled back slowly and licked her lips again. “Um…I…”

William’s face echoed Buffy’s confusion and he took a deep breath before he brushed a stubborn strand of hair from her face. “Buffy.”

“William.”

“What are you doing, Buffy?”

“I really don’t know.” She bit her lip and swallowed, suddenly thirsty. “But I think I really want to kiss you, William.”

“Oh?”

“Ah huh. What do you think about that?”

“I think you’re really drunk…”

“I am.”

“And I think…I think my head hurts from resting it on the cement and I think…”

Before he could continue Buffy cupped her hands under his head and straddled his waist between her legs. “This shouldn’t be happening, but it is and I can’t stop it, William.” She barely punctuated her sentence before she began kissing him and tasting the alcohol that flavored the depths of his mouth.
***

“Mmmm…” William rested Buffy’s back against the door of the motel room as he struggled to take the keys out of his jeans. “Buff…I…stop.” He moaned as she nipped at and kissed his neck as she held onto him tightly with legs wrapped around him.

“Hurry. Hurry.”

“I am, but I can’t just the bloody door open.” He tried to keep his hand steady and aim for the keyhole. “Every thing’s spinning, pet.”

“Here.” She kissed him again, taking his breath away before jumping off of him. She quickly unlocked the door and pushed William inside.
***

“Ow…ow…ow!”

“Sorry, did that hurt?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll kiss it and make it better.” Buffy grinned mischievously and licked the head of William’s erection with the tip of her tongue.

“God!”

“Hurt?”

“No, no.”

“Good.”

“Pet, I think we should…” William’s eyes bugged out as Buffy stood on her knees and took off her top and tossed it. “Condom.”

“No need.”

“Sure?”

“Very.” She flung her damp thong on the pile with the rest of their clothes. “Ready?”

“Ready.”
***
 

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