Little by Little

Introduction

You’re all I have left.
***

Immediately after the death of her mother, Buffy Summers was supposed to live with her mother’s fiancé, even though Buffy was only months away from her eighteenth birthday.

The aneurysm had come as a shock to everyone.

Joyce, Buffy’s mom, had been preparing to wed her boyfriend of two years, William Giles, at the time of her death. Their relationship was held over a long distance. Joyce planned on staying in Sunnydale, California until Buffy graduated high school; then she’d rush off to William in England for their romantic wedding and new future together.

Buffy had never met her mother’s boyfriend. She was fifteen years old when her mother mentioned meeting a special man on a business trip. She was still smarting over her parents’ divorce and the thought of her mother seeing a new man made Buffy queasy. She knew of the late, long-distance phone calls and saw her mother giggle while she read her email; however, Buffy’s own personal life was more important to her at the time.

Buffy was to meet her new guardian at the funeral. Modestly dressed in black, Buffy held her breath as she wobbled across the uneven grounds of the cemetery.

“You look like her.”

Buffy didn’t turn towards the softly spoken British voice instead she looked down at her shoes, afraid to move.

“You William?”

“I am, pet,” he said with a smirk.

Buffy sighed, “It’ll be starting soon. I need to go.”
***

William wasn’t shocked by her actions; he knew Buffy was going through a terrible time. He was also aware that her father had failed to show at both the funeral and reception.

‘Sure, Joyce was an only child with no close relatives but someone could’ve shown for her daughter’s sake,’ William thought, disgusted by the lack of family members at the funeral.

He wrinkled his nose, watching from the shadows as neighbors and coworkers swarmed around Buffy. They asked her the same questions over and over again and it was making William more upset with every passing minute.

‘Are you alright? How are you feeling?’ he mocked. ‘Sod off, you bastards.’

“Hey Will. I’m so sorry.”

Before William could react long red hair and salty tears surrounded him.

“Red,” he sad with a sigh of relief, “I didn’t think you’d make it, pet.”

Willow Rosenberg was Joyce’s best friend. They had known each other since high school and were working together at the museum. Willow had introduced William to Joyce two years ago.

“Have you talked to her yet?” Willow asked.

“A few words, but she never looked my way.”

“I’m sure she is just so overwhelmed right now. I wish…” Willow’s voice broke in a sob, “I wish I could’ve done something.”

“Hush, no one knew what was to be. We’ll all be right as rain soon enough.”

“You are just saying that,” she muttered, her head buried in William’s chest.

“Of course, love. You should go to her; I think she’s finally alone.”

“Will you be alright? You don’t look so good.”

“I’m fine. Go to her. I need a smoke anyway. I’ll be out.”

William kissed Willow’s forehead and silently wished her good luck before he headed outside.
***

Willow found the small bathroom of the church and knocked once.

“Buffy, it’s me.” She smiled as the door swung open and Buffy fell into her arms. “I’m sorry I missed the funeral. My stupid car broke down and I couldn’t find a ride. I had to call a pickup truck and the guy was a major poophead--.” Willow took a deep breath, ready to continue but Buffy broke her off.

“I understand. It’s okay,” Buffy said, hugging her tightly.

“No, it’s not. I--.”

“Willow, just get me out of here. Please?”
***

Willow scanned the reception’s guests twice for William and when she could not find him, she took Buffy back to her house. Buffy was unfazed by Willow’s new, dirty rental car and fell asleep instantly. Later, Willow dialed William’s cell phone as soon as Buffy was settled into the guest bedroom.

“What?”

“That’s a nice greeting you have there,” Willow said with a laugh.

“Red, you left. Everything okay?”

“I think so. She wanted to leave and I couldn’t find you.”

“That’s alright. I needed a night, you know, before I met her all official like.”

“William, are you avoiding her?”

“No, I--.”

“Joyce picked you for a reason. She really wanted you and Buffy to become a family. Don’t deny Joyce that.”

“I just don’t know a thing about kids… She was supposed to help me.” William struggled to keep his voice steady.

“I know, sweetie,” Willow sighed. “Buffy’s seventeen, almost eighteen, and she just graduated. She’ll only need you until college starts in August. Until then, I’ll help, you know I will. You won’t be alone.”

“Thanks, love. I’ll be around tomorrow. Noon-ish. I’ll meet her then. Night, Red.”

“Good night, William.”
***

Buffy felt numb. She had stopped crying at the funeral when she saw the last of the casket. Now, she felt the side effects of her weeping and her eyes hurt. She tossed and turned until climbing out of bed in the morning.

“Hi, sweetie!”

“Morning,” she grumbled with no enthusiasm.

“Pancakes or cereal?” Willow asked, standing on her tiptoes trying to reach a box in the pantry. “Oh, we also have Pop-Tarts!”

“Cereal, I’ll get it. So where is he?”

“Who?” Willow turned, and walked towards Buffy. She sat across from her at the table. “Oh, you mean Will, right? He said he’d stop by around noon. We’ll go out for lunch. You choose the place, anywhere’s fine.”

Buffy looked down at her fruit-accented Cheerios and her tone was flat, “I don’t need him, Willow. I’ll work and get a place. I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Buffy,” Willow sighed, “it’s what Joyce wanted. She loved him too. She always wanted you and William to get along, but she didn’t feel comfortable taking you out of school for visits to England. William’s a good man; I know it and your mom certainly did. Give him a chance, for her. He feels as uncomfortable as you do about the guardianship, maybe even more. Give it a chance until August, by then you’ll be eighteen and ready for school. Please, sweetie?”

Buffy looked up from her Cheerios to Willow’s hand that was placed on hers. “Until August. I’ll do it, but only for her.”
***

When the doorbell rang, Buffy’s heart sped up.

‘I’m going to meet him,’ she thought dramatically. ‘I’m seconds away from seeing the man Willow and Joyce gushed over for more than two years. Oh, his cheekbones, his hair, his porcelain skin and rock hard body. Give me a break.’

Buffy rolled her eyes, expecting nothing great.
***

“William Giles, this is Buffy Summers,” Willow said, after clearing her throat.
***

‘Good Lord, she’s beautiful.’ William was speechless, finally taking a good look at Buffy. Instantly, he started comparing the mother and daughter.

‘Straight, long blonde hair, not her mother’s wave. Green eyes, not brown. She’s shorter and her eyes are much larger. She’s so beautiful.’

Looking into Buffy’s eyes William knew he would help Buffy and that he would protect her.

He’d keep the promise he made to Joyce.

‘Maybe, just maybe…’ William grinned as Buffy blushed under his gaze. ‘Maybe I’ll need her too… We’ll get through this together.’
***

‘So this is the man that promised himself to my mother?’

Buffy couldn’t help but look at the man from booted toes to bleached blonde hair. He dressed all in black and carried himself as if he were younger; however Buffy knew he was in his mid to late thirties.

‘Black Doc Martens, black tight pants, black tight t-shirt and a black leather jacket…mid-life crisis much?’ Buffy thought, laughing softly. It was the first genuine laugh she’d made in months.

‘He looks so sad.’ Buffy nearly gasped, looking into William’s electric blue eyes. ‘His eyes don’t seem to hide his age as well as his body.

Fine, whatever, I’ll give him a chance. What do I have to lose?’
***
“Buffy, nice to meet you, pet,” William said softly. Not sure want to do, he reached out to her, extending his right hand. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“William.”

He grinned, squeezing her warm hand.

“Ok guys! Let’s go!” Willow bounced out the door, giving them each a big smile. “I know you guys are going to love each other! I can feel it!”

“Red, love, are you going to be this annoyingly chipper all day?” William asked with a groan.
***

‘Fuck, this is awkward.’ William glared at Willow as she attempted to lighten the mood between him and Buffy. ‘If she makes one more joke, I’ll…’

“So, pet, are you looking forward to starting at the university?”

“Kinda,” Buffy said with a shrug.

“What’s your major going to be?”

“I can’t make up my mind.” Buffy wrinkled her nose as she played with her food. “Where am I going to live?”

“Ah, pet.” William was shocked to hear her low voice. “I have things to wrap up in England before I can move. I was thinking you could stay with Willow for a few weeks. If that’s okay with her, yeah?” He looked to his friend for the final go-ahead.

“No, it’s not okay with Willow,” she said. “You two are going to learn to live together. Take her to England, William. Bond. Become friends. I’m staying out of the picture for a while. Starting now.” Willow hurriedly left her seat at the restaurant.
***
 

Little By Little

If you thought this story looked familiar, that’s because it is. :) It was the first story I put online and I felt it needed to be reworked and I dramatically deleted it. (It was very sad because my 400 reviews went with it, but I did save most of them) Remember all the junk that was in my profile on the author’s page? Probably not. ;) Anyway, it’s back and I’m making the chapters more reader friendly.

Chapter 1

“Eh, right. I guess we’ll go whenever you’re done, pet.” William ran his fingers through his hair. “I can’t me believe she left me. ‘You won’t be alone,’ my ass.”

“Was I supposed to hear that last part? She left me too, you know.”

“Um, where’s your stuff? You know, clothes and whatnot?”

“At home. I never brought anything to Willow’s. Are you really taking me to England?”

“You wanna go?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“No.”

“Well, I guess I’m going to England, now aren’t I?”
***

Buffy couldn’t breathe. She hadn’t been back to Revello Drive since she had seen her mother lying lifelessly, wide-eyed and cold on the living room couch.

“I gotcha, love.”

Buffy felt William’s hand on her back. It slowly pushed her through the open front door. She should’ve wiggled out of his reach but she found the contact comforting. He was in her personal space, but she allowed him to nudge her past the living room and up to her room.

“See we may not be so bad together after all, huh, kitten?”

Buffy barely caught the mumbled question so she let it pass and pretended not to hear him.
She soundlessly circled her room, trying to concentrate on gathering her things. If she had allowed her mind to wander, she would’ve broken down. Being in the house, seeing smiling family photos, and remembering the calm before the death: it was too much for her to handle.

“Best to travel light, princess.”

She was thankful that he helped her focus. She knew William wouldn’t let her fall apart.
***

“I’ll get you new stuff at home, okay, pet? Don’t worry I have plenty of money tucked away,” William said as they drove towards the hotel.

“I’m sure you’re loaded,” Buffy said, rolling her eyes. “You’ve worn the same outfit since yesterday and you could only afford this cheap, crappy rental car. I’m sure you’re staying at the Motel 8 off the freeway too.”

“Been keeping tabs on me, love? I’ll admit, I’m a cheap traveler.”

“Sure, whatever. So, tell me about yourself, William.”

“She’s up for small talk now.” William couldn’t help but tease her. “This is a bloody breakthrough for us, pet. Oh, maybe we’ll have a full conversation too.”

“I asked you a question, William,” she smirked.

“That you did, ah, your mom and I met through Willow, who knows my father, Rupert. You see, Rupes is a curator at a la-ti-da museum. He was Willow’s mentor for a while, I guess. Anyway, I’m a ghostwriter: boring research papers at day and pathetic fiction by night. Raunchy novels and hideous poetry are my specialties.”

“The clothes are just a cover? You’re really a shy, sensitive, writer guy?”

“Exactly. I’m a lonely man who lives only through his terrible writing. I dress like a Big Bad because I want to scare off and impress people.” William kept his tone sarcastic but his words were laced with true confessions. “You look right through the Big Bad thing, don’t ya, princess? You see right through me.”

“I do. It’s a gift,” Buffy said, a little grin tugging on her lips.
***

It was late and William continued to toss and turn on the hard, nonexistent hotel carpet. Being a gentleman, Buffy had been given the queen-sized bed all to herself.

‘Tomorrow,’ William thought, ‘I’ll be traveling across miles of land and sea with Buffy Summers—the wrong Summers. Listen to her snore, she’s so dainty, bet she doesn’t have a clue that she makes such a racket.’ Smirking, William rested his head on his arms.

‘Bet a sleepless Buffy equals a pissy Buffy, just like my Joyce.’
***

“Hey, Will.”

William felt her hands slide up his naked chest. She was sitting on him, straddling his waist. Ribbons bound his legs and arms; his body was stretched out like a star.

William felt his eyes water as he devoured Joyce’s image. Her medium-length hair was framing her face beautifully. She was his angel, dressed in white gauzy material. William’s eyes focused on the hard nipples he could see peeking through her dress.

“I’ve missed you--.” Her hand covering his soft lips muffed his confessions of love and loneliness.

“Listen to me, Spike, honey.” Joyce took her palm away from his mouth and left a chaste kiss in its place. She moved upwards, kissing his forehead and weaving her fingers through his hair. She continued to dot his neck and chest with sweet kisses. Traveling south, she stopped before reaching his hips. Joyce looked up into his eyes, a smile on her face.

William wanted to voice his disappointment, upset that her kisses had stopped but he was hushed again.

“You were always a talker, weren’t you?” She leaned her body flush against his. “Without warning,” she whispered into his neck.

He struggled to move towards her, to increase their contact, but he couldn’t.
“As a whirlwind swoops on an oak…”

Her hand moved between them, finding its target easily. Her two fingers moved slowly, making lazy circles the head of his cock. Soon she circled his hard shaft, moving up and down, waiting for him to reach the edge of his anticipated climax.

William’s breath became faster, his eyes rolled back and his legs tensed up. As he came, Joyce whispered, looking into his dilated shining eyes, “She will shake your heart.”
***

“William, wakey, wakey.”

William groaned as a feather pillow hit him in the head.

“I though our flight is at ten?”

“Bloody hell!” William was rushed back from his dream, his body sore from sleeping on the floor and his pants uncomfortably wet.

He groaned and mumbled more curses as the current time registered in his foggy brain.

“God, you’re very British,” Buffy remarked with a soft laugh.

“Glad you could tell, love. Move your ass, princess. We should’ve been at the airport an hour ago.”
***

Five hours, thirty ‘bloody hells’, and seventeen ‘wankers’ later, Buffy was convinced that William Giles was the most entertaining man alive. He growled, his eyes popped out of his head, and all the airport staff saw was an insane, short blond man.

They had been on the plane for a while now. William sat next to her in the middle seat. After he calmed down, he quickly fell asleep.

With his head rested back and his eyes closed, Buffy noted he had long eyelashes. They were the only soft feature to his chiseled face. His gorgeously pale skin and defined cheekbones hid his tiny imperfections. ‘He aged well,’ Buffy mused. ‘He looks so…flawless.’

‘He’s beautiful. Mom had good taste. Hmm, he does look tasty...’

‘Ick!’ Buffy suddenly felt dirty. ‘William should be my stepfather! Nasty, I’m so going to hell now! I shouldn’t think about his tastiness and…wonder if all that hair gel and bleach makes his hair feel sticky. No! No! That would be bad, Buffy, very bad.’

She swallowed, looking out the window trying to shut up her scandalous mind and dirty thoughts.
***

William didn’t sleep for long but he kept his eyes closed as his mind worked, thinking about his dream.

‘Hell. Well even my dreams butcher good sixteenth century poetry. Why did my sodding subconscious have to choose Sappho for its cryptic attacks? And who the hell is ‘she’?’

William hoped he was wrong. He hoped his dream had nothing to do with the seventeen-year-old sitting next to him. The dream had left him feeling confused and scared. Joyce had called him Spike. That bothered him the most. Joyce had never known him as Spike.

Spike was dead and buried; Drusilla had made sure of it.
***

I’ll never leave you, kitten. Never.
***

“I never want to see, let alone ride in another plane for the rest of my life,” William groaned as he walked with a slight bounce, making sure that his legs still worked.

“What’s that?”

Buffy pointed, a look of disgust jumbled her face. “I thought you said you were loaded?”

“I said that, yes. She’s a classic, you know. I’ve had her for ages. My black beauty she is.”

“You love it so much you named it after a crappy horse movie?”

Buffy had never ridden in a car like the De Soto. It had bench seats; perfect, clearly babied, black leather interior; and a scent that could only be a mixture of cigarettes, alcohol and something sweet.
Buffy inhaled deeply. ‘Yup, definitely gummy bears,’ she thought biting her lip to hide her smile.

“Sit back, princess. Get comfy, it’s quite a ride to home sweet home.”
***

“We’re here, love,” William whispered, gently shaking Buffy’s shoulder.

Buffy’s eyes fluttered open as William’s car door slammed closed. She had forced herself to sleep on the drive, seeing cars drive on the other side of the road and drivers on the passenger side had been too much for her.

“It looks like Hansel and Gretel’s house!” Buffy thought cottages like the one before her were only seen in amusement parks. The house was cute and tiny. It had heart-shaped shutters and numerous flowerbeds. She looked at William in a quick glance. “You must’ve been really whipped by my mom. I can’t picture you living in a large replica of my dollhouse.”

“Well,” William blushed, “there’s no way it could’ve been their house, the little brats were trespassing, remember?”

“Are you keeping the house?”

“I doubt it. Too many memories. We decorated it on her last trip.“

“Oh. It’s really nice, William.”
***

Buffy was shown to a round, pale yellow room. The space was sparsely decorated with an old wooden bed and other large pieces of furniture. Buffy held back her squeal, ‘Bed knobs!’ William explained that the room was hers; it would’ve been kept to her liking between her visits and Buffy smiled, touched by the gesture.

“This is really great, William. I love the color…it’s really nice.”

“Your mom said you liked things cheery,” William responded with a shrug.

“Too bad I won’t be able to make it my own. I would’ve liked that.”

“It is too bad.”

Buffy frowned as he turned on his heel, leaving her alone in the room. She could tell he wanted to sell the house and move on. Like he said, the house kept too many memories, but it was missing her mom.

‘It is too bad. I really like it here.’
***
After an awkward night, William left early the next morning. He had to get ready for the move and had people to see.

Buffy was sitting on the sunken, comfortable couch in the living room when she heard knocking at the door. She looked through the peephole and saw an older man with defined smile lines and a full tweed outfit.

‘Hey, where’s Waldo?’ She thought, slowly opening the door.

“Hello, Buffy. I’m William’s father, Rupert.” He kept his hands in his pockets and nodded a greeting. “Rupert Giles.”

“Oh, come in.”

“I’m so very sorry about your loss, dear. Joyce was a remarkable woman. I enjoyed working with her at my museum…William sent me to keep you company.”

“That was sweet of him; I was getting kind of lonely. British TV is very…ah, British.”

Rupert grinned softly in amusement. “Um, yes. Have you seen around town yet? I imagine not, since you arrived only yesterday. Would you like a tour?”

“Yes, that would be nice, Rupert.” Buffy struggled to causally say his name. “Um, can I call you ‘Giles’? It rolls off the tongue much easier.”

Giles looked up, with embarrassment in his eyes. “Sure, Buffy. Let’s go.”
***
Giles and Buffy wandered all over the town. Buffy liked Giles instantly. He was kind and easily embarrassed. Buffy noted that when he was uncomfortable, he cleaned his glasses with a monogrammed handkerchief. The couple met William for lunch. Since they arrived before him, they talked and enjoyed each other’s company.

“Did you see William and my mom together? I wish I could’ve.”

“Yes, William would parade Joyce around like his prize. Joyce was perfect for him. They were an amusing couple, always smiling and laughing. William had just come out of a horrid relationship. Joyce made him very happy. Now, however, I am concerned about him, since your mother’s death. I know you haven’t known him for long and I hate to ask but, have you noticed William drinking at all?”

“He’s been sad and bad moody but that’s normal, right? There hasn’t been any alcohol or at least not around me, Giles.”

“I don’t want to worry you, Buffy, but William has suffered from an addiction to alcohol in the past. I was only worried he may relapse in his recovery…He loved Joyce very, very much.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him, I promise,” Buffy said. “Thank you for telling me.”

There was a long silence where both avoided each other’s eyes. Both were uncomfortable taking about William behind his back.

“Hey, dad. Buffy.”

“William.” Giles stood up and warmly embraced his son.

William sat in the squeaky restaurant chair and nodded a welcome to Buffy. “How were the sights, pet?”
***

“…so then little William screamed, ‘I’m the Big Bad!’ and took off on his bicycle…”

“He didn’t make it did he?”

“Not exactly,” Giles chuckled. “He was able to jump the first ramp but fell on the second, leaving him with that nasty scar on his eyebrow.”

“Ah, poor little William.” Buffy mocked William and giggled at his misfortunes.

“Bloody hell, dad. No more, okay?” William wanted to die. In the past hour Rupert had covered his potty training mishap, the eyebrow tragedy, and the real reason behind why he was forced to bleach his hair for the first time at nineteen.

“Must you go back to work, Will?”

“Nope, I’ve got the rest of the week off. Holiday and all.”

Buffy suddenly brightened. “What holiday? Did I miss something? Are there presents?

"No, love. A holiday is like a vacation.”

“Oh, now I’m disappointed and…um, slightly embarrassed.”
***

Giles watched as the blondes left, bantering as they went. Giles was glad; Buffy was a joy and William seemed to be coping.

Giles wondered if he was too quick to mention William’s drinking problem with Buffy. He hoped Buffy wouldn’t have to deal with the damage that Drusilla had caused.
***

“Your dad seems nice.”

“Yeah, he’s alright,” William said sheepishly. “He just talks way too much.”

“He’s Superdad compared to mine.”

“I recall Joyce saying yours was a real wanker.”

“He’s definitely wankery. I think he’s living in Spain with his new and improved family, of course. Every now and then he sends a picture greeting card with his new wife and kids on it. It’s like he is rubbing it in, you know, that he left us? He never responded when I wrote about mom, not even when she first got sick.”

“Well then he’s a bastard and a sod. He never deserved you anyway.”

Buffy looked at him and smiled. “Thank you.”
***

William picked the telephone on the third ring.

“What?"

“Hey, Will. Now there’s the voice I yearned to hear. Don’t you sound chipper?”

“Willow, it’s nice hearing from you, pet.”

“So are you and Buffy getting along? Are you playing nice?”

“And if I’m not are you gonna come here and rough me up?”

“Of course.”

“Well in that case, I think so. Yeah, we’re good.”

“That’s great! I’m so proud of you, William. If you were here, I’d give you a cookie.”

“Chunky chocolate chip?”

“That’s the only kind I buy and you know it. I’ve missed you guys. I’m kind of lonely out here.”

“We’ll be back soon, pet. I have to sell the house and furniture. I’m also trying to set up a long distance relationship with my ghostwriting people.”

“Well have fun; don’t work too hard, okay?”

“Do you want to chat with Buffy? She’s around here somewhere.”

“Naw that’s fine. I’ve got to go. Tell her I called. Love, ya Will.”

“Take care, pet.”
***

‘Go team Buffy,’ she smiled, proud of herself.

She had been with her attractive guardian for almost a week and her impure thoughts were kept to a minimum. She scrambled around the house trying to keep herself busy and to take her mind off of William’s good looks.

Buffy sneezed from all the dust. ‘God, does William even own Pledge?’ She was in the attic of the little house. It was tiny also, about the size of a large closet.

‘William seems to be gifted in shoving a lot of stuff into little spaces,’ Buffy smirked.

Buffy was sorting through boxes and various items, seeing if they were worthy to make the trip back home. Before her mom got really sick, she was sending a few boxes to William a week. Their ultimate goal was to be completely moved in before the honeymoon.

William’s boxes intermingled with Joyce’s and Buffy tried to avoid going through his stuff to respect his privacy.

“Hell, one box wouldn’t be too bad, now would it?”

Buffy opened the box labeled, ‘Golden Years.’ She smiled at his weird sense of humor.
She came in contact with a number of journals filled with daily entries and poems. Buffy passed on those. She remembered how violated she felt when her mom had ‘accidentally’ read her diary. He had worn novels hidden throughout the box. Buffy was almost disappointed with her findings until she reached the bottom of the box.

Crumbled in a flattened ball was a dirty, well-worn black leather duster. Buffy picked up the jacket and was assaulted by his scent: cigarettes, alcohol and again a sweet smell. “Gummy bears,” she giggled out loud. Moving the duster allowed a picture to fall from its creases.

She gasped and held a hand to her mouth as she took in the photograph. William was embracing a pale, skinny, dark haired girl. They were standing in front of his adored De Soto.

“She’s very pretty, well, in a Dracula meets flat-chested Barbie kind of way,” Buffy commented. “Mmmm, William’s quite a looker too.” Buffy knew that was very true because her underwear was damp by just the sight of him.

‘Good lord, he’s wearing makeup!’

William was wearing all black, as usual, but a vest instead of his tight t-shirt. The vest and pants were holey and adorned with various metal rings. His hair was completely bleached, no brown roots, and sticking up on all sides. William’s eyes had a wicked gleam to them and his curled tongue was just as suggestive.

“He’s beyond hot,” Buffy moaned softly, “a mixture of Billy Idol and one of those Punk music gods. Who is it, Sid Vicious?”

“Buffy, food!”

She slid the photograph into her back pocket and placed the duster and books back into the box.

‘Damn, now I have more fuel for my fantasies.’

Buffy ran downstairs.
***

William sighed as he slid between the cool covers of the bed. It was one of the best feelings, in his opinion, soft sheets against naked skin.

Buffy had acted strange all during dinner. She never looked at his face unless she thought he wasn’t paying attention, but he was constantly. He knew her face had a red cast and that she squirmed a lot in her chair, making it crackle under the pressure.

William had tried to make polite conversation asking her how the attic was going. Buffy responded to his questions with one-word answers and a deeper blush.

‘Buffy, what have you been up to?’

He hoped all would pass by the morning. If not, he’d go up to attic and poke around.
***

Buffy couldn’t sleep. Her face and lower regions were on fire.

‘Mom, why couldn’t you have wanted to marry an icky guy?’

She pulled up from her pillows and retrieved the photograph from underneath. She closed her eyes, trying not to look at the blue-eyed man on the front. She had been wondering all night if the photo had writing on the back. She wanted to know how old he was and who the woman was.

She opened her eyes and found the inscription. “My bloody valentine. Forever yours, my Dru. Love, Spike.”

“Dru?” Buffy had never heard of her. “Maybe Giles will know. I’ll see him tomorrow,” Buffy whispered to herself out loud.

Cursing herself before looking at the picture once more, Buffy etched his image into her mind. She quickly shoved it back under her pillows and sighed, “I’m going to hell.”

Disgusted with herself, she wrapped her sheets up to her neck and pulled up the long t-shirt she was using as a nightgown, resting it at her waist. Buffy put her palm against her crotch, “Wet”, she groaned. “Mom, forgive me.”


Buffy slid the soggy underwear off and threw them on the pile of dirty clothes. Her heart raced as she slowly moved her fingers through her pubic hair. She gasped, using her pointer finger to play with her vaginal lips. Thinking of William as Spike: the sexy punk rocker, she circled and teased her clit. She thought of her supposed-to-be stepdad as she pushed her middle finger deep inside. As she pumped her fingers, sliding them in and out, making herself come hard, William was the only person on her mind.
***

William stepped into the bathroom. It was late and he hated when he had to roll out of bed with a full bladder. As he tucked himself back into the pants that he had slipped on for Buffy’s sake and was getting ready to flush, he heard moaning. William froze. He quietly moved out of the bathroom and tiptoed towards Buffy’s closed bedroom door.

William held his breath as waited. Then he heard it again.

“Ahhh, Spike, don’t stop.”

William felt his eyes widen and his cock harden.

“Buffy…oh, fuck. This can’t be good.”

William wobbled back into his room, freed himself from his flannels, and dealt with his erection properly.

“Not good at all.” He chewed on his lip, spent and frustrated that while he pleased himself, his mind wandered from Joyce and centered on her daughter. “Fuck.”
***

I burn for you, Buffy.
***
 

Chapter 2

William was up early and Buffy was on his mind.

‘That little bint has been poking about,’ William thought, glaring at the ceiling. After the lust that had clouded his eyes began to fade, he became angry.

‘Spike. She knew me as Spike.’

His thoughts went to Rupert first, thinking that his father had exposed his pathetic past with Drusilla that day along with the other childhood embarrassments.

‘No, dad would’ve asked me first.’

William then remembered, ‘What about the Mr. Clean routine Buffy had adopted lately? Shit, I wonder if she read my journals?’

William had been more than just a sensitive boy. He wrote poetry and short stories while the other boys played football. He was William the Bloody Awful Poet for at least two full decades. Until William was nineteen, he was positive that he would die the horniest virgin alive and he would have, if he hadn’t met Dru.

William had done well hiding his past from Joyce and he planned on hiding it from her nosy daughter as well.
***

Buffy woke up to pounding on her bedroom door. Before Buffy was completely awake she saw William walk into her room. Buffy was thanking God for the blankets that covered her exposed body. She hoped that time had covered the smells of her late-night activities.

“Are these your dirties, love?” He swooped up her clothes before she answered. “Today is wash day. Hurry and get in the shower, princess. You can throw out your clothes.”

William stood with her soiled underwear dangerously close to his face at the top of the pile of clothes. He ignored its smell as he watched her, daring her to reveal how naked he knew she was under the sheets.

Buffy lowered her blankets from her neck, disappointing him. She hadn’t taken off her shirt. She quickly pushed the fabric past her thighs and jumped out of bed. “I’m going, I’m going.” She grabbed her robe and walked past him into the bathroom.

William watched her, smirking. She hadn’t fallen for his trap and that somehow made him proud.
***

Buffy walked to Giles’ house because it was close to the cottage. She was confused by William’s strange behavior but her confusion was beginning to become a natural occurrence. William was very moody. She was relieved when he was called into work while making breakfast. Buffy thought he seemed to be feeling feisty, making her feel guilty.

‘God, I hope he really doesn’t know about…” Buffy blushed all morning that the possibility that William could’ve found out about her masturbating to his image.

Rupert was shocked to see Buffy when he answered the door. He had only seen William twice since the three of them had lunch. Both of their meetings had been difficult, resulting in lots of tears. “Buffy, is everything alright?”

“Things are good. I would’ve called but I don’t know your number and all.”

“Oh that’s fine, come in, dear.”

Buffy was not surprised by the appearance of Giles’ home. Books were everywhere. The numerous stuffed bookcases and shelving made his house smell musty and resemble a library. Buffy waited until they were both settled with their tea and pastries, before she started with her question. “Giles, who’s Dru?”

He choked on his pastry and jelly fell, covering his tweed coat. “Buffy – er -- you should really ask William about that.” He set down the remains of his food and cleaned most of the jelly off his coat with a napkin. He seemed not to worry about staining because he quickly pulled out his handkerchief and began to clean his spotless glasses.

“I know, but you see, I was cleaning the attic when I found a picture of William and this Dru girl. I don’t want William to think I was snooping or anything. Especially since I kinda was…”

“Buffy, I can’t. William’s very protective of his past and I will not betray his trust. I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay. I’m sorry I asked.” Buffy decided against using her Summers’ Sad Puppy Eyes. She knew if she would’ve Giles would have told her everything.

Giles felt guilty but stood by his morals as they spent the remainder of the day together.
***

“Buffy, we need to talk.”

Buffy jumped as she walked into the dark cottage. William was sitting on the couch and his hair seemed to glow eerily.

“God, William, creepy much?” Buffy’s mood had soured because of Giles’ withholding of information. William had scared her and that made her mad too.
“Come here, sit with me.”

She felt slightly queasy at his tone. Her heart picked up speed as she chose to sit on the opposite side of the couch, as far away from him as possible.

“Buffy, I have always lived alone. I was warming up to the idea of sharing my space with Joyce, but I’m still a loner. I know you’re young and you need to be constantly entertained.” He paused, moving to turn on the lamp near him, “I know nothing about kids, so I’m just going to give it to you straight. I don’t want you poking your nose in my business. I want to respect your privacy and I want you to respect mine. I think if that can be our golden rule, we’ll have no troubles. Ya got me, love?” William looked into her guilty face.

“William, I’m so sorry. I’ll be good, I promise.”

“That’s good. Now let’s go see that flick you wanted to see, with that boy.”

“You mean the one with James Marsters!”

“Yep, I hear he’s a real dream boat.”
***

The intervention had gone well, William hoped so anyway. Somehow he doubted all kids were scolded and then taken to the movies. William just couldn’t stand punishing Buffy and acting like her father. He knew something had to be said when Rupert had called him, telling him of Buffy’s question.

Buffy’s busybody tendencies were now focused outside the house. She visited Giles at work and went around town by herself. According to Giles, Buffy had made a few friends in town. William wasn’t sure if he should be concerned. Buffy seemed to really enjoy England and he hoped she wasn’t getting too attached. Joyce had jumped through hoops, helping Buffy get accepted to UC Sunndydale and he wanted to keep Joyce’s wishes alive.

William held his head as he sat at his computer. ‘Joyce probably wouldn’t want you wanking to her daughter’s image, you git.’

That night had ruined him. She was always sneaking into his thoughts. He had even started writing poetry again. His themes of course, were forbidden lust and unresolved sexual tension. Buffy was becoming his muse. She was a strong girl and fiercely independent. Her laugh was glorious and her smiles were contagious. William found himself looking forward to their ‘Movie Nights,’ and ‘Bad TV Nights,’ each week where they spent time together, eating and laughing. William cared deeply about her.

‘She is just a girl, you know,’ he reminded himself constantly.

That was the subject of most of his internal conflicts. She acted so mature, so much like Joyce sometimes. She could persuasively argue the greatness of post modernism in one breath, and then in the next, she would move to convincing him that Scooby Doo was the best cartoon of all time. ‘Why,’ he’d ask, ‘because I say so,’ was her logical explanation.

William was drowning. He knew he couldn’t pretend to be her father or even brother, when he was really her secret admirer.

He was drowning; he was falling in love with her.
***

Want you so much.

You have me.
***
“I’ll be back around midnight.”

“Wait, you. Get in here.”

Buffy walked in the kitchen, her heels making noise against the tile. She held her breath as William turned from his dirty dishes, a rag thrown over his shoulder.

“You are not wearing that,” he said, slowly.

“William--.”

“Nope. I’m not gonna listen.” He wagged her finger at her outfit. “I’m not going to let you prance about and show all the boys your goodies.”

“My goodies are fully clothed--.”

“Why don’t you wear that black shirt you made me buy?” He cleared his voice, getting ready to speak in an octave higher. “Please, buy this,” he mocked. “Please, it’s the cutest shirt I have ever seen, blah-blah-blah.”

“I do not sound like that and besides I wore that last weekend. This is a new weekend, mister. I must be seen in something new.” Buffy nodded at her last statement, making it sound very matter-or-fact.

“Change.”

Buffy turned at his tone. She muttered her newly adopted British curses as she stomped into her room.

“I heard that!”
***

Buffy had been dating Angel for over two weeks. He was her type; tall, dark, handsome and broody. Her relationship with him was going well even though her taste in boys was changing. Buffy started preferring Billy Idol look-a-likes, but Angel seemed nice and neither of them was interested in the long term, especially since she only had a month left until college.

“William, this is, Angel, my boyfriend.”

Angel could tell by the fire in William’s eyes that his handshake would not be returned, so he didn’t bother trying.

“Angel, now isn’t that a poncy name, huh?” William stared holes into the boy’s long forehead from across the restaurant booth.

Buffy hid her need to giggle. William was acting like a dog protecting his bitch and his actions gave her a warm fuzzy feeling. She decided to rile William up some more as she moved her hand to Angel’s thigh.

William almost snarled. He wasn’t sure who he wanted to attack; Angel, or Buffy for making him jealous.

“In school I had a funny little nickname, you know?” William grinned at Angel. “The kiddies in the schoolyard called me, ‘William the Bloody.’ That’s because I was a big bad…”
***

“I hope you’re proud of yourself. Angel will probably never call me ever again.” Buffy leaned over and grabbed a handful of Wheetabix from William’s bag.

“Hey, that’s mine.” He pretended to want to move away from her. He was actually very content sitting snuggly on the sunken couch with her. Buffy brushed more of him each time she snagged more of his snack and each time it gave him shivers. “That little bugger should fear me, you know--.”

Buffy cut him off. “Yeah, yeah you’re the Big Bad. Sometimes I think you’re nuts.” She gobbled down another handful of Wheetabix.

“Hush now, it’s back on.”

“I’m sure Angel will think you’re scary when he finds out you record a crappy show like Passions and watch it religiously.”

“If you think it’s so bad, leave.”

“Nope, I can’t let you off that easily. I must sit here and mock you. Besides, ever since they started putting Ethan in those nice tight shirts, he’s become really yummy.”

William gave her a look that made his eyebrow lift and his head cock to the side. Buffy’s heart started to beat irregularly. “Yummy, love?”

“Shut up. Watch your damn show.”
***
When William left for work, Buffy practically ran to her room. The house was getting empty and seeing its naked state made her uncomfortable. Buffy had plans for today. William wasn’t leaving the house very often. He was always watching TV or typing on his laptop, which he set up on the kitchen table.

William told her he’d be back for dinner. That meant she had at least half the day to herself.

Buffy pulled out a brown bag from her tiny closet and moved into the bathroom. She pulled out bubble bath, a portable stereo, CDs, and vanilla candles.

Buffy ran a bubbly bath and strategically placed the lighted candles so she could turn off the bathroom’s fluorescent lights and not be blind. She felt her face flush as she eyed the selected music before her. All the CDs were chosen with him in mind: all greatest hits albums of the bands William had mentioned. She wanted a mix of punk and the Brit pop he seemed to enjoy but never admitted to liking.

“God, I’m such a dork,” Buffy giggled.

After carefully choosing the first CD, and pushing the repeat button, she placed the stereo in a reachable location and dropped her robe around her toes. Buffy sighed loudly as the warm, scented water engulfed her.

‘This is the life.’

Buffy relaxed listening to the music and smelling the vanilla. She drifted off to sleep with William’s blue eyes on her mind.
***

“Hey, sweets.”

“William.”

“Wanna dance?”

“Of course. All we do is dance, William.”

Buffy took his outreached hand and allowed him to sweep her towards the dance floor. All details such as her clothing, his clothing, if people were surrounding them, were blurred. Buffy was aware of only William. He was all she could feel. Only his face came into complete focus.

Buffy let him hold her. His arms weaved around her small form and Buffy felt warm and loved. She hadn’t felt so complete since before her mom was diagnosed with the brain tumor. Buffy rested her head on William’s shoulder, surprised at how well their bodies fit together. They swayed together not following any dance technique. Buffy couldn’t hear any music except the beating of William’s heart.
***
Annoyance. Panic. Fear.

When William came home early, he was annoyed when her music was loud. He could hear its echo throughout the empty house. He recognized the accented squalling and couldn’t help but feel pride. She was picking up his curses and now his music preferences.

William walked up to the bathroom. “Turn your music down, pet.”

Buffy didn’t answer.

William tried banging on the door. The knob didn’t turn because it was locked.

‘Who locks the door when they’re the only one home?’
His panic turned to fear. ‘Maybe she slipped. That tile can get slippery. Maybe she still can’t hear me. Maybe she…’

It took William two charges before he crashed through the wooden door.
***

Buffy woke up in her bedroom. She was upset that her dream had ended, however she couldn’t recall what it was about.

‘It had been good though…’

“You’re awake, kitten.”

Buffy was confused. Her last complete thought was being in the tub. She registered that she was clothed in her warmest pajamas and her hair was damp. William was home and he was leaning against her doorframe. “Huh?”

He looked at her scrunched up features and walked into her room, sitting on the edge of her bed. “I found you in the water, blue and pruney skinned. You scared the life out of me, love.” His tone was gentle as he moved a damp blonde strand behind her ear. He knew she wasn’t noticing his shaking fingers. She looked so young in her puppy pajamas and as she looked up at him with wide eyes. The moment reminded him of every love song he had ever heard. ‘Take my breath away,’ ran over and over in his head.

“Oh, sod it all,” he muttered, leaning in and kissing Buffy.
***

Buffy thought she was going to die. He was moving towards her.

‘Oh. My. God.’

Buffy’s world slowed down, all her dreams were going to come true. William was going to kiss her.

Buffy closed her eyes and waited until she felt his lips.
***
‘You have got to be kidding me!’

Those were the phrases that pounded through Buffy’s mind, instantly giving her a headache. He had kissed her on the forehead, the kind of kiss a father gives to his daughter. She had sat in a disappointed shock, with her eyes still closed when he had pulled back. When she opened her eyes, she was alone.
Buffy sat on her bed, arms crossed; a pout on her face. She had never wanted something so bad before. He had denied her.

‘This means war.’
***
‘You bloody coward!’

William splashed cool water on his face, running wet fingers through his bleached locks. He had chickened out.

‘I wanted to kiss her. Hell, I needed to kiss her.’

He couldn’t take advantage of her though. He still didn’t know want had happened in the bathroom. His mind played cruel games with him making him think she was dead as he saved her. She was so blue, almost purple. He was sure he had lost her. Lost her, like he had lost Joyce.

‘Hey, at least I saw her naked.’

William glared at his reflection, disgusted with himself. He placed his fisted hands on each side of the sink for support. Guilt hit him--he’d seen Buffy’s reaction to being kissed, and she looked upset. William hoped she didn’t think he was playing games with her.

‘God, why am I so messed up? I shouldn’t even think about her, what about Joyce? I’m a bad, sick man. I don’t deserve her any way. She needs a normal kid, not a man twice her age. Not a man who planned on marrying her mom. She doesn’t need me. But I’m falling for her. Need to stay away from her. August. Can’t wait ‘til August. A little less than a month, that’s all.’
***

Buffy broke up with Angel so she could freely seduce her guardian. She had exactly two weeks before their flight back to California. The house Buffy and William were living in was sold and they’d be out of it in a week. After that they’d move in with Giles during their final days in England. Her major plans of attack would happen within the next week, she didn’t want to risk traumatizing Giles in his own home.

Buffy’s first stage of attack was innocence. He’d almost crumbled when he saw her after the bathtub incident. She planned on working her puppy dog eyes and quivering lip.
***

“William, you up?” Buffy called to him quietly, she had no intention for him to wake. “William,” she whispered, with a musical tone, moving closer to his bed.

‘Oh, God,’ Buffy almost whimpered aloud, ‘he’s breathtaking.’ She’d never seen so much of his pale, porcelain skin before. ‘Mmm, he sleeps naked.’ His chest was bare and a single sheet was draped across his waist and it rode dangerously low.

She looked at his alarm clock, 2:47 a.m., and touched his shoulder, ignoring the feelings that shot through her arm. She gently shook him, calling his name louder than before.

William groaned softly. He rolled over to his side, facing her.

‘Eeek!’ Buffy watched as the sheet revealed more of his backside to her. ‘Come on heart; don’t die on me now…’

“William!”

“Buffy...Buffy!”
***

William was dreaming. Dream Buffy was straddling him, seconds away from taking him deep inside her. He woke up moaning her name, waiting for Dream Buffy to give him the ride of his life.

William nearly died when he saw Real Buffy standing above him. He took everything in at once -- her shocked face covered by the shadows of the dark room, the sheet that was not covering his ass, and his hard cock that was forming a tent under the sheet.

‘I’m in hell,’ he thought groggily. “Buffy, what the hell are you doing in my bedroom!”

“I--you see--um.”

“Spit it out, now. Throw me my jeans, pet, and turn around.”

Buffy’s brain seemed to stop working. The knowledge of his erection and that he wasn’t wearing anything under his tight jeans was making her head spin.

“Buffy?” William’s tone was demanding an answer.

“I-I wanted to talk to you. I had a nightmare. The bathroom thing brought up memories, I think.” She talked quickly and rambled.

“Buffy.” William sighed her name and ran a hand through his hair. Buffy’s mouth watered at the sight of his curls. He usually tamed his hair with gel. “Come on, love. Let’s take this into the kitchen. I think I have some hot chocolate mix and those little marshmallows.”
***

“I drowned once, when I was eleven. I was at my friend Xander’s pool party. I went into the deep-end and no one saw me. The last thing I remember was bobbing in the water on my toes. I was considered dead for a minute. Xander saved me. We had a baby-sitting business so he knew CPR.” Buffy looked down at the foamy leftovers of her marshmallows. “Since then I haven’t been a water person. Buffy and water are not mixy things. I rarely take baths; mom wouldn’t let me. If I did, she would make me leave the door open and she’d play watch dog every ten minutes, checking for drowning.” Buffy tried to laugh, but failed. Her plan was failing. She couldn’t look at William without blushing, so she pretended that her, ‘Kiss the Librarian’ mug was fascinating. William hadn’t said much; he had only explained that the mug belonged to his father. He encouraged her to continue on by staying quiet.

“I needed a Me Day, you know? I was going to take a bath for a while, then watch sappy movies. I wasn’t suicidal or anything. I feel asleep in the tub and I woke up in my bed. You know the rest.”

She waited for William’s response to her confessions. He remained silent and got up from his chair. He took her empty mug with his and ran water in them, putting them in the sink.

“Thanks for telling me, love. Now if everything’s okay, I’d like to get more of my beauty sleep.”

Buffy nodded, feeling strange and not liking his tired tone. She quietly pushed in her chair and padded to her bedroom, leaving him alone.
***



 

Chapter 3

William was sitting outside, smoking, and watching the gray cloudy sky. “It’s gonna rain, love, why are you wearing that?”

“Why do you smoke when it‘s bad for you?” Buffy sat next to him, closing her jacket. His comments about her white halter bothered her slightly. She wanted the opposite to happen. She wanted him hot and bothered by her wardrobe.

“Got any plans, today?”

“Nope, Giles is busy.”

“What about the boyfriend? You could give him a ring.”

“We broke up earlier this week.”

“Oh? We should throw a party then.”

Buffy giggled and hit his arm. “He wasn’t that bad, well, except for all that brooding.”

“A regular Gloomy Gus, was he?” William played along, rubbing his arm.

“Yup, it was always, ‘my pain,’ or ‘my unhappiness.’ Blah. It got really old, really quick.”

“You dumped him, yeah?”

“Of course, do you really have to ask?”

William shrugged in response, relieved that they were on friendly terms after the night before. “Today’s Wednesday, pet. Maybe we could expand Bad TV Night into Bad Movie Day? I hear a new independent cinema popped up across town...”

“That sounds great,” Buffy hopped to her feet. “Let me get my purse!”
***

Buffy couldn’t seduce him. She didn’t have the guts.

After choosing the sexiest sounding movie title, she insisted on leaving her coat in the car with the intention of showing off her body to William.

Everything backfired. The movie was something comparable to foreign porn and she didn’t feel sexy watching it next to William with her red face and stubborn, hardening nipples.

‘I don’t feel sexy. I feel like a ho.’
***

William had to readjust himself many times during the movie. More than once his circulation was cut off at his jeans. He paid no attention to the screen; Buffy soaked up all of his attention. He tried to look forward and allowed his peripheral vision to feast on her loveliness.

‘God bless that little shirt.’

He was right at predicting the weather and Buffy was still coatless when the rains began. William offered his jacket to cover up with but she refused, making him upset and confused by her actions. He made sure as they walked through the theater’s lobby that she hugged the popcorn bucket to her chest, hiding her perky breasts from greedy eyes, including his own.

‘She’s mine,’ he growled silently, making a point to glare at every male they came in contact with.

William looked heavenward and rolled his eyes once he realized what they were watching. Buffy looked queasy during the entire ninety minutes. She wiggled in her chair, uncrossing and re-crossing her legs. Each of her movements caused a ripple effect and William felt himself harden at each bounce and shake.

“Damn it, princess, if you don’t put on this jacket, I’ll throw you over my shoulder and drag you to the car.”
***

In the De Soto, William glared at her. “What the hell was that all about?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking--.”

“Stop.” He raised his hand, quieting her. “Give me my coat. Put yours on and if I see even an inch of white, I don’t know what I’ll do.”

William drove in silence and when they reached the house, Buffy walked to her room and closed the door.
***

William sat at the kitchen table, still boiling. She was killing him. His body wasn’t under his own control around her. He felt like a horny teenager and feared that he was slipping back into his Spike persona. It took all of his restraint to stop him from mauling Buffy in the car. He wanted her so badly.

‘Fuck, I need a drink.’
***

Buffy woke up at her usual time. She and William were going to move in with Giles and she was looking forward to it. She walked into the kitchen in her thin tank top and pajama bottoms, not sure if William was home and not caring that her robe was still on her bedroom floor.

“I can see your goodies, kitten.”

Turning with the milk carton in her hand, she was shocked to see William, who was giggling on the floor, behind the kitchen table.

“William, what are you doing down there?” She moved towards him, bending down, not bothering to hide her chest from him. William squealed like a little boy and continued to laugh, pointing at her.

“Holy crap, William. Have you been drinking?”

As he adamantly shook his head no, Buffy stepped away and winced, looking into the kitchen trashcan, which was overflowing with empty booze bottles.

‘This is what Giles warned me about,’ she panicked, putting her hands in her hair.

“Come on, William, let’s, eh, let’s get you in your room.” Feeling awkward, she grabbed his upper arm and struggled to pull him to his feet. “God, you’re heavy.”

“I’m not William, kitten, I’m Spike. I’m a bad, rude man...a bad, sick man.”

“Okay, sorry Spike. Do you think you could help me a little? Can you stay on your feet?” He babbled incoherently, his body remaining limp. “I’ll take that as a ‘no’.”
***

Buffy had stayed at his side until he passed out, then out of boredom, she decided to watch television.

“Joyce...”

She frowned at his sad, raw voice and went directly into his room where William was stretched out on the bed. She again covered him in the blanket he had kicked away and sat next to him.

“Joyce,” he whined, shuffling in his sleep.

“William.” She moved to stroke his face, but hesitated, not sure how he’d react.

“No...Spike.”

“Spike. Sorry, I forgot.” Biting her lip, Buffy carefully placed her hand on his back. “Is this ok, Spike?”

“I’m so lost, pet,” William sobbed, his face twisted in pain.

“Tell me about it?” she said, softly, running her fingers down his spine and across his shoulders.

“I love her, Joyce. Don’t hate me, but I do.”

Buffy held her breath and froze.

He moved side to side, demanding her to continue touching him.

“Who? Who do you love, Spike?” Buffy croaked out her questions, closing her eyes as her chin trembled.

“Buffy, pet. I ache for her. I love her.”

Tears ran down her face and her heart swelled. She continued to comfort him until he fell soundly asleep again.

“I think I love you too.”
***

“Bloody sodding buggering hell!” William ran to the bathroom before he threw up, almost tripping over Buffy, who was sleeping on the floor next to his bed.

“Spike?”

“In here, pet, at least what’s left of me.”

“I think I’ll wait until you are done. Do you need anything?”

“Maybe some aspirin, love, and some water.”

“Ok, I’ll be in the kitchen.”
***

Buffy closed the blinds as William walked in, looking ragged and rubbing his eyes. He sat down and took the pills and downed water that was on the table.

“So, you owe me an explanation.”

William looked down, embarrassed.

“Giles told me about your drinking. Have you been boozing it all along? I defended you, you know? God, I am such an idiot!” Buffy slammed down the water pitcher, making William hiss and grimace.

“Ah, pet, not so loud. Give me a minute.”

“Your minute is up. Talk.” She sat in the chair next to him and grabbed his elbows, forcing him to look at her.

He tried to move back but was still too groggy. “What do you wanna know?”

“Let’s start easy. What happened last night?”

“That’s not easy. Pass, next question.”

“William.”

“I had to clear my head, alright? You’re driving me bonkers, you know that?”

“Me! You’re telling me it was my fault!”

“Shhh, not so bloody loud, princess.” William pointed to his pounding head. “Of course, it was your fault. You’re gonna be the death of me and you very well know it.” He looked at her and sighed at her grumpy face and crossed arms. “So beautiful,” he mumbled.

“Huh?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“William,” she growled.

“Right, right, you bossy bint. I never thought I would care about you so much, Buffy. I knew since you were Joyce’s daughter, you couldn’t be a total bitch, but anyway, yesterday I got pissed because I’m supposed to be your bloody father-figure and I wasn’t exactly thinking of you…in a fatherly way.”

“Oh?”

“Yes and I can’t lie, pet, not to you. I think you’re brilliant, charming, so strong…”

Buffy didn’t know what to say as he continued his list. His eyes grew cloudy as he praised her. ‘He really likes me. He loves me…’

“…but I can’t do anything about these feelings. It would be wrong. Sick even.”

“Huh? What?”

“You’re seventeen, love, and I’m near forty and not to mention, I should be your step-dad.”

“But you’re not and my birthday’s next week.”

“Oh, is it? That’s--shit, it doesn’t matter!” He wouldn’t allow himself to enjoy the fact that she would be of legal age in a few days.

“I guess you’re right, we’d be wrong…immoral even,” Buffy said, her stomach doing flips. “Really wrong, uber wrongness there. I’m sorry I drove you to drink. Damn my sinister attractiveness.”

“Now, Buffy I--.”

“No, I totally understand. I make you sick.” She refused to cry in front of him, even though he had broken her heart and hurt her feelings. “I make you bonkers. I’ll have to stop that I guess. I’m so sorry. I...I really didn’t want to make you drink again.”

William looked like she had punched him with her teary eyes and sarcasm. “Buffy, before, I drank because…I don’t know…I was different then.”

“You were Spike then, right? Oh, don’t worry, Giles didn’t tell me your secrets. I saw pictures, but that is beside the point. Last night, you demanded that I call you Spike.”

“Buffy--.”

“I have no idea how mom put up with you! That skanky ho really messed you up, huh Spikey?”

“Buffy, don’t call your mother that!”

“I’d never-I was talking about that girl -- Dru the skanky ho -- you jerk! I can’t talk to you anymore!”

Buffy got up and angrily walked out the front door.
***

“What? Oh hey, dad. No, I’ve no idea where she is. Yes, I checked there. Yeah, give them a ring for me. I’m worried too. I know. I know, damn it! Fine, I’ll be over tonight.”

“Rough day, blondie?”

William turned off his cell phone and didn’t look at the waitress who hadn’t stopped flirting with him since he sat at the table. “Yeah, can I get the rest of this to-go, pet?”

“Sure, cutie.”

Buffy had been gone for over twenty-four hours and William was a wreck.

“Here you go, sweetie.”

His brow scrunched at the annoying waitress. He squinted until he read her nametag. “Harmony, pet, have you seen a girl around here, she’s about this high, real cute, blonde hair, kinda long, an American like you?”

“Yeah, maybe.” Harmony chewed on her press-on fingernail. “Let me think, mmm… Oh, yeah, I saw a girl like that when I was clubbing last night. Bitsy? Biffy? Anyway, you should so go there sometime, the Bronze is totally hot. Oh! Definitely Betty, right? I saw her outfit on at least three other girls. If you see her, tell her she’s definitely making us Americans look bad. I mean, has she even heard of Gucci, come on. Anyway--.”

“God, love, shut up. Where’s the club? Who was she with?”

“You’re really hot, you know that?”

“I’m old enough to be your father, love.”

“Ewww! Old guys aren’t supposed to be dreamy. Damn, you’re too dreamy.” Harmony stomped her foot and began to pout.

“Tell me where she was.”

He needed to find Buffy. He needed her.
***

“Eww! Get off!” Buffy woke up to hands trying to unhook her bra. She rolled off the bed, disgusted with Angel. “I told you no boinking!”

“But, Buffy--.”

“Thanks for the place to sleep. I gotta go.” Buffy quickly ran out of Angel’s creepy, dark apartment.
***

William got the address from a nerdy boy named Andrew, who worked as a janitor at the Bronze. It seemed that Andrew had a crush on Angel and had a second job as Angel’s stalker. William wished the couple success. He was charging up the stairs when he saw her. Buffy’s face was rosy and she was buttoning her shirt as she bounced down the stairs.

‘What did she do? Did she fuck him to get back at me?’ William stopped going up the flight of stairs and waited for her on the ground level. Buffy almost ran through him. “Watch where you’re going, pet, a bloke could get hurt.”
***

Buffy’s heart was pounding as she watched William drive. She saw a blue vein pop out above his scarred eyebrow.

‘He’s gonna bust. I am so dead. Just look at his face…’ Buffy felt guilt wash over her. ‘He looks so mad that I left him.’

“I met Drusilla when I was at a party; my heart had just been trampled on by Cecily, that bitch.” William shook his head as if remembering suddenly. He never looked at Buffy as he spoke; his eyes were glued on the road. “I was a desperate, bad excuse of a man. A waste of fucking space. But Dru seemed to like me even though I was William the Bloody Awful Poet. No girl before her had given me any attention, not even a crumb. Sure Dru was a little nuts; always talking to her dollies and all, but I was under her spell. I never thought Drusilla would hurt me. We were going to be together forever, you see. All was good until I found her fucking some wanker in our bed. Damn, was he a disgusting, slimy bloke. I loved her so much. I took her back, of course, because I didn’t want to be lonely again. Ha! Sometimes I wish she would’ve just chopped off my head to stop the pain, but no, she continued to cheat and lie. She’d always say I made her feel… whatever the bloody hell that meant - I bought it, nevertheless… Hell, I let her use me and I was aware of it. I started drinking then. It dulled the pain; it dulled my heart. One night I came home drunk and she told me she wasn’t in the mood.”

Buffy noticed she had no idea where he was taking her. She doubted that he knew either. His eyes were full of tears.

“I forced myself on her. I would’ve taken her on the bloody bathroom floor. I would’ve raped her but somehow I snapped out of my daze. But, fuck, Dru looked so scared. I’d terrified her. I couldn’t face her or my shame so, I ran like a ponce, to dad. Back home. I was intent on living alone and dying alone, until I met Joyce. She never knew, you know? I never told her I was a bad man; that I was practically a rapist, and now I can add pedophile to the fucking list. She would have been proud.”

William suddenly pulled off the road, stopping the car. For the first time he looked at Buffy, his eyes heartbreaking and embarrassed. “Now you know all about me, pet. You are gonna leave me, aren’t you?”
***

Buffy moved quickly, unhooking her seatbelt and shifting towards him until he was in her arms. She sighed in relief as he accepted her embrace.

William sobbed, holding her tightly.
***
Don’t leave me.

Can’t.
***
“William, it’s getting late. Where are we?” she whispered, running her fingers through his hair.

He slowly opened his puffy eyes and then shut them tightly, refusing to move his head and enjoying the pillow her chest made for him.

‘Buffy’s chest,’ he thought and snuggled closer, ‘Mmm, chest of Buffy.’

“William?”

“Just a few more minutes, kitten. I’m basking here.” He was stretched out along the bench seat, laying on his side, between her legs, and his head buried in her cleavage.

‘This is like the best dream ever, even better than Manchester United winning the cup…’ William slowly moved his arm from his side and found the hand closest to him and curled it to his lips, placing kisses on every other of her knuckles. When he ran out of knuckles, he moved to her thumb. Buffy let out a tiny moan as he sucked and nibbled on the finger.

William was delighted to hear her response to his actions. Shifting downwards so he could rest his head on her thigh, he made an exaggerated inhale, “You smell so sweet, my Buffy.”

Buffy felt another rush between her legs and unseen muscles involuntarily clenched. She closed her eyes. ‘His Buffy. God, don’t let me die.’

He drew on her skin, making circles and patterns while brushing against her lightly. Then he lifted his head and shifted his body until he was given better access to the fabric of her shorts. Buffy moaned again as he slid a finger under them, traveling along the hem.

He looked up, a smirk on his face. Buffy’s eyes widened at the sight of his dilated, lust-filled eyes. She nodded, chewing on her lower lip and grabbing onto the leather seat. Going down once again, he pushed up her pant leg to expose another inch of golden skin. He licked a line up her thigh and close to where her underwear was resting. He kissed and playfully bit her leg, causing Buffy to squirm in anticipation. With shaking fingers, he unbuttoned her shorts and once he was about to pull down the zipper, the sound of sirens halted his actions.
***

William sat and anticipated the police officer’s arrival. ‘Good timing, mate.’

He manually rolled down the window, taking off his jacket and resting it in his lap. “Is there a problem officer?”

“I was going to ask you the same question, sir. Is there a reason why you’re parked in the center medians?”

“Center median?”

“It's not very safe.”

“I understand, you see my, ah, daughter and I were just out for a drive and I got sleepy you see-.”

“I’m not his daughter,” Buffy said, angrily, her body language screamed her unhappiness. “He’s my legal guardian. My mom died not too long ago.”

“I'm so sorry to hear about that. You poor little thing.”

“We were just getting ready to leave, weren’t we, pet?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s good. Have a nice evening.”

“Sodding Rent-a Cop,” William mumbled as he pulled the car onto the road. “Where the hell are we?”
***

William drove in unknown territory and wondered if there was a casual way that he could release the pressure that threatening to bust the zipper of his jeans. He took a sideways glance at Buffy and frowned from guilt.

“Buffy, we need to talk.”

“Do we?”

“Yeah, we do, about back there…I’m sorry.”

“That’s good to know, that you’re sorry. William, you jumped away from me like you were caught cheating with a hooker or something. Then you call me your daughter. Your daughter!”

“Well, what was I supposed to say? 'Yes, officer you see, I was just seconds away from fingering and orally pleasing my wife’s underage daughter. Yeah, you really coulda had a great show. My wife? She doesn’t mind. Why? She passed on a few months ago.'”

“Shut up.”

“Buffy--.”

“You regret it, don’t you?”

“No.”

“Oh, well...good.”
***
“We're here, pet." Buffy opened her eyes to see the gaudy neon lights. “We’ll stay here just for tonight, love and then we’ll be off to dad’s in the morning.”

Buffy didn’t say a word.
***

“What a shithole!” William announced over Buffy’s squeals.

“Oh, there’s another one!” The first bug had broken Buffy’s silence. Now she was standing on an unsteady wooden chair, screaming and pointing at each bug she saw.

“When was I deemed the bloody exterminator?” William squished another large black bug under his boot.

“You’re the Big Bad, remember?”

“Sure, goldilocks, you just stay on your chair and the Big Bad will protect you from the demon buggies.”

She rolled her eyes. “Goldilocks now? God, how do you keep on coming up with all those nicknames, I mean--ew! Ew! Over there!”
***

“Sod sleep. We’re leaving.”

It was music to Buffy’s ears, she practically ran to the De Soto. "Thank God."

“Do you drive, love?” William said as he buckled his seatbelt. The mood was lighter and his voice was raspy due to the fact that he had spent the last hour laughing at Buffy. He fell more in love with her each time she yelled and squirmed, scared to death because of a few bugs.

“Define drive. If you mean hit everything in sight with the aid of heavy machinery, sure I drive.”

“Remind me to never let you borrow my car, okay, love?”

“Okay,” she answered, smiling.
***

Buffy was determined not to fall asleep because she knew William was struggling to stay awake. “Wanna play a game?”

“What kind of game?”

“How about Either Or?”

“Huh?”

“I give you two choices, like…um, macaroni and cheese or wheels and cheese. All you do is say which one you like better.”

He nodded, “Sounds easy enough.”

“Ok, we will take turns asking. Me first. The Beatles or The Sex Pistols?”

William frowned. “What kind of question is that? How could anyone choose between Lennon/McCartney and Johnny Rotten? I have no idea…”

Buffy’s giggles filled the car. “I’ve never seen someone use so much concentration during this game! You’re so, so predictable.”

“I don’t wanna play anymore.”

“William--.”

“Nope, I’m not gonna let you trick me into dissing one of the two greatest bands of all time. Nice try, kitten. I’m not playing.”

“Baby.”

William felt his pants grow uncomfortable again as she crossed her arms and stuck out her lower lip.
***

Buffy. Buffy. Buffy. Mine.
***
 

Next