Chapter 21

It wasn't that she was trying to avoid him. It wasn't like that at all.

He had nothing to do with the fact that she was standing at the bus stop today - as she had done every day since term started. It had nothing to do with him at all.

It was just that it was summer now, *well apparently it's summer,* she thought, and the weather was *sometimes* a lot nicer - that was why she was catching the bus. It had nothing to do with him at all. And definitely had nothing to do with the fact that she didn't want to park outside his house anymore.

She wasn't trying to avoid him.

Buffy sighed, looking at her watch, praying that the bus would at least make an effort at being on time tonight.

*~*~

Buffy was determinedly cheerful when she walked into the flat a while later. The bus, naturally, had been late.

*But I really don't mind standing around* she tried to convince herself.

She heard voices emanating from downstairs and followed them down.

"Will? Xan? You home?" she called as she walked down the stairs and into the living room, then stopped, frozen in place at the foot of the stairs.

Willow and Xander were, indeed, home, but there was a third figure in the room, lounging on the sofa as if he had a God-given right to be there, laughing and joking with her friends.

"Hello, pet. Long time, no see." He smirked at her nonchalantly, acting for all the world as if nothing had ever happened between them. Buffy's attempt at cheerfulness vanished and she instantly forgot that she'd practically begged him not to tell anyone what had gone on.

*How dare he!* she fumed. *How dare he waltz in here, pretending like nothing happened!* She glared at him.

"What? No 'hello' kiss, luv?" he asked sarcastically, pretending to look hurt.

In actual fact, Spike didn't have to pretend all that hard. He was feeling hurt, especially considering the looks she was throwing his way now.

*I did what she asked, I didn't tell, but that's not good enough for her is it?*

Willow looked from one to the other and groaned to herself.

*They've obviously been fighting again. Wonder what it was this time? Probably something stupid and insignificant. Looks like it's time to change the subject.*

"Buffy," Willow said, catching her friend's attention. "Spike's here for a reason - he's got some news."

"Oh yeah?" Buffy said, trying not to sound too interested.

"He's got a job!" Willow exclaimed excitedly. Buffy frowned and looked at Spike, her annoyance at him evaporating as quickly as it had appeared.

"A job? What, like evenings or weekends? Don't you have exams coming up?" she asked, slightly confused.

"Not for now - for after I graduate," he explained patiently.

"Graduate?" Buffy's frown deepened.

"Buffy, he's in his final year, remember." Xander prompted. Buffy's eyes widened slightly as she took this in. She had known that this was Spike's last year at university, but somehow it hadn't really meant anything.

"But, the job, it's around here, isn't it?" she asked, hopefully. Spike shook his head.

"No. It's in Leeds."

"Leeds! But that's, like, a hundred miles away!" Buffy exclaimed, feeling her days of being able to call round and see him at any time slipping away. *I might not have actually been around lately, but that's different to not being able to.*

"It's not that far - it's only an hour's drive - an' you can visit any time you want." This last comment was directed at everyone in the room, but Spike looked at Buffy as he said it, trying to convey that he meant it especially for her.

"Anyway," interrupted Willow. "We're going out to celebrate - you wanna come?" She looked at Buffy expectantly. Buffy stared at Spike for a minute longer, then shook herself out of the stupor and faced Willow, a slightly dazed look on her face.

"W-w-what?" she stammered.

"Are you coming out tonight?" Willow repeated.

"Er," Buffy couldn't quite form a complete thought. "No. I'm, er, not feeling very well. You go without me. I'm, just going to, go lie down for a bit." With that she turned and walked upstairs.

Willow and Xander exchanged confused looks.

"Maybe I should go check on her - see if she's alright." Willow said, standing up. Spike put a restraining hand on her arm.

"I'll go, Red. Think I know what's up wi' her. You just go get ready."

*~*~

Buffy was sitting on the bed, staring at the wall when she heard the soft knock. She looked up just as Spike poked his head round the door.

"Mind if I come in?" he asked with a small smile.

"If you must."

He walked into the room and sat down on the chair next to the bed.

"What was all that about downstairs just now?"

"I don't know what you mean" Buffy said, somewhat dismissively.

"I'm talking about the dagger-glares and the whole 'if looks could kill I'd be a tiny pile of dust on the floor right now' looks you were throwing my way. An', you've been avoiding me," he stated matter-of-factly.

"I have not been avoiding you," she denied, unable to meet his eyes for this blatant lie.

"Yeah, right - so you're not gettin' the bus into town again now?" he said, the sarcasm practically dripping from his tone. Buffy raised her eyes to meet his defiantly.

"The fact that I'm getting the bus again has absolutely nothing to do with you."

"Oh, come on! That's a complete load of bollocks, an' you know it! The fact is, you're avoiding me and now you're pissed because I turned up at your flat! If you wanted me out of your life, why the hell didn't you tell me at the time?" The sarcasm had fled and Buffy could hear the anger and hurt coming through now.

"Is that why you're leaving - because of me?" Buffy shot back at him. He stared at her for a moment and then barked out a laugh.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot - everything's always about you, isn't it? Well, I hate to burst your bubble, Goldilocks, but my moving has nothing to do with you!" he sneered.

It was all too much; Buffy looked away and blinked back a tear. Spike caught the movement and was by her side on the bed in an instant. He took her into his arms and held her too him, stroking her hair.

"Hush now, it's okay. I'm sorry I shouted - please don't cry, pet" he said soothingly. She laid her head on his shoulder and breathed in deeply, smiling as she caught the scent of smoke, old leather and something else she couldn't put a word to but that was inherently Spike.

"I'm sorry I've been avoiding you," she whispered. "I just thought it would be weird."

"Well, it was, but only because you were avoiding me. It doesn't have to be, you know." She pulled back from his embrace and looked at him

"And your moving to Leeds has nothing to do with me?" She watched his face as she asked and could have sworn that he blushed slightly.

"That might have been a little bit of a lie actually," he started.

"I knew it! You don't want to be around me!" she declared. Spike laughed.

"No, no - you just don't get it. I was offered a job back down South, but turned it down 'cause it was too far away."

"Oh." She was slightly lost for words, he just smiled.

"And you can come visit any time you want," he thought about this. "In fact, if you don't, I might be forced to hunt you down" he threatened light-heartedly. Buffy looked at him, mock-seriously.

"In that case, you've twisted my arm. I guess I'll be forced to come visit you." She broke out into a wide grin.

"That you will. Now, seeing as how we've got past our little problem, you gonna come out and celebrate?"

"As if I'd miss it - give me ten minutes to change" she declared as she shooed him from the room.





Chapter 22



"And, if you will now all please stop writing and place your pens on the desk. I remind you that you are still under exam conditions and are to remain silent and seated until all of the papers have been collected in."

The examiner droned on and Buffy filtered it our, the relief lifting her above it.

*Finally* she thought. *My last exam over. No more studying until next year.* Buffy smiled and tapped her fingers impatiently on the desk, which earned her an annoyed glare from the woman who was collecting in the papers.

She hated this part of exams - the waiting at the end. She thought enviously of all of her friends, who had already finished their exams days ago. Only Buffy had landed an exam on the morning of the last day of the university year. Everyone else was at the flat getting ready to go to the summer ball that was being held on campus that night.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, they were dismissed and Buffy practically flew from the room.

*~*~

When she reached her car she smiled as she saw the familiar figure lounging against the passenger door.

"You took your time" he grinned.

"Yeah, well - you know how long it takes these exam-types to do everything once it finishes." Buffy shrugged and unlocked the car. "You ready to go?"

"Ready and waitin'," he indicated the bag he was holding, which obviously contained his tux for that night. "Have DJ, will travel - jus' waitin' for you, pet - as always!"

"Just get in the car!" Buffy growled.

It had been decided that they would go to the ball as a group, rather than as couples as Spike, Buffy and Oz were single. Somewhere along the line it had also been decided that everyone would get ready together. Buffy wasn't sure how her flat had been volunteered for the venue, but it had and she decided she could go along with that.

She glanced briefly at the bottle blonde in the passenger seat and smiled to herself. He had been right, in the last few weeks - once she'd stopped avoiding him - it hadn't been awkward at all. They'd fallen back into an easy friendship, albeit an incredibly flirtatious one.

But tonight was the last night of term. It all seemed to be going by so quickly - it really didn't seem almost two years ago that she'd started here, but it was and she had to face the fact that next year would be her final year. Her thoughts flew back to her friends at college in the States - they were barely half way through their courses and she couldn't get used to the fact that she'd finish her degree a whole year ahead of them.

Tomorrow she was headed back to Sunnydale for the summer and when she came back in the autumn, Spike would have graduated and moved away. She sighed a little sadly and Spike, as if reading her thoughts, reached across silently and squeezed her hand.

By the time they had pulled up outside the flat, Buffy's spirits had picked back up again - tonight was about having fun - tomorrow would take care of itself.

*~*~

Buffy turned from side to side, looking at her reflection in the mirror. She smiled happily as she watched the way the blue silk dress clung to her curves in all the right places, stopping just above a pair of strapped, silver-heeled sandals that gave her the few extra inches that she craved so much. Her hair was piled high on her head, exposing the sweep of her neck, which was decorated only by the horseshoe pendant that had been a gift from Dawn. She sprayed on some of her favourite perfume and reapplied her lipstick before joining the others in the hallway to wait for the taxi, which was due any minute now.

She examined the group that was already there - Willow in a long, emerald green gown standing, talking animatedly with Tara, who was dressed in a black satin dress which fell to just below the knee, and Anya, in her short, red silk dress. The guys were standing off to one side, discussing the gig they had been to the week before, all dressed immaculately in their DJs. She smiled to herself as she watched the people who formed her closest friends and decided that there may have been some bad times this year, but right now she couldn't have been happier.

*Should have known it wouldn't last* she thought to herself as the door to the upstairs flat opened. She'd managed to avoid Riley quite successfully in the last couple of months since they'd split up- especially considering that he only lived upstairs - but she could here his voice coming from the flat and knew that she'd have to face him any minute.

Spike had known when Buffy had joined them in the hallway even though he had his back to her - he had smelt her perfume as she left the flat. He resisted the urge to turn around and look at her, knowing that he'd give away his feelings if he even glanced her way for the simple reason that he wouldn't be able to just do that. He knew that he would have to stare. So he concentrated on what Oz was saying about amps, trying to follow the conversation, but with half his mind on the girl standing on the other side of the room.

He heard the door to the upstairs flat open and the voices emanate from inside and he immediately stopped pretending to listen to the conversation and turned to face her. He took an instant to admire how beautiful she looked, but she had turned a little pale and her eyes were fixed on the still empty stairwell. He started to walk up to her, but stopped when he heard the sound of feet coming down the stairs.

Riley came down, followed by his friends, and stopped when he entered the hallway. He looked at Buffy, took a breath and walked over.

"Hi," he said, a little awkwardly.

"Hi."

"You look fabulous - but then you always did." He said, gazing down at her.

"Thanks," Buffy said, somewhat embarrassed.

"Can we talk?" he asked, looking around at her friends.

"What, now?"

"Yeah - I need to discuss something with you." Buffy nodded her consent and they moved off into a corner. Riley took a deep breath.

"I've been offered a scholarship - a chance to study in Australia next year."

"Right."

"I'd stay if I had a reason to." he added hopefully. Buffy stared at him.

"I'm not quite following you."

"We could try to work things out."

"Oh,"

Spike watched the couple out of the corner of his eye; he couldn't hear what was being said, but he watched for any signs that she might need help. He let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding when Riley walked away and he and his friends left.

Buffy looked over at him and he gave her a look that telegraphed 'are you all right?' She smiled at him and beckoned him over.

"You okay, pet?" She smiled at him, obviously trying to hold back a laugh.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay, what's the joke? What'd I miss?"

"He asked if I wanted to get back together - said he was 'willing to give me another chance'." She couldn't hold back the laughter now.

"I take it you didn't fall into his arms and live happily ever after then?" Spike said dryly. Buffy just looked at him as if he was mad, before dissolving back into a fit of laughter.

"God, no! He was all, 'I have a chance of a lifetime, but I'll give it all up for you if you ask me to'. It was really weird - I honestly think that he thought I'd come running back if I thought he wasn't going to be around! Unfortunately, I had to break it to him that when I said it was over, I meant it. So, I wished him luck abroad next year and said goodbye."

"So, you'll probably never see him again?"

"Probably not, but I think I can live with that." Spike tried to hold back the look of sheer relief that threatened to pass over his face. She might have already told him that he had no chance with her, but he was nothing if not stubborn and as long as she was single, he'd have hope.



Chapter 23



"Ow!" Everyone turned as Buffy stumbled and fell to the floor.

The ball was in full swing and they had all been having a wonderful time, but that looked like it might be set to change as they looked down at the shape of their fallen friend.

"You okay, Buffy?" Xander asked, extending a hand to help her up. Buffy took it and started to stand.

"Yeah, I'm. Ow, God!" she screeched as she put pressure on her right ankle. "Okay, so maybe less of the good - I think I've sprained it."

With help from Xander, she hobbled over to a nearby bench and sat down, the gang crowded round her, all asking at once if she was okay, or if there was anything they could do.

"Guys, guys - I've turned my ankle, I'm not dying here!"

"Do you want me to take you home?" Willow asked, concerned.

"No. Look, Will, you're all having a great time. I'll be fine, I can sit here and people-watch. Maybe it's not a sprain - it might clear up in a while," she said, not wanting to spoil her friends' evening.

"I'll stay with her - you lot go on," Spike volunteered.

After a short argument they all left, leaving Spike and Buffy alone on the bench.

"You want to put your feet up?" Spike indicated his lap.

"Thanks." Buffy raised both her feet to rest them on Spike's lap and leaned back against the arm of the bench.

"Y'know - looking at these shoes, I'm not surprised you fell - how high are these heels." Spike asked incredulously, examining the sandals on her feet.

"Look, I'm not exactly the world's tallest woman - I have to use every advantage I can - and I've never fallen in them before," she pouted.

"You sure you just want to sit here - you don't want to just go home?" he asked, anxiously. Buffy looked at him and grimaced.

"It does hurt a little - and this bench is uncomfortable," she admitted

"And you look cold," Spike added. Buffy nodded her agreement. "Look, I tell you what - why don't we go back to mine? It's only round the corner, you can sit down for a bit and you can decide whether you want to call a taxi home, or whether you're ankle's feeling better and you want to come back," he suggested.

"Sounds like a good plan - come on then."

*~*~

"Well, make yourself at home then." Spike helped Buffy over to the sofa in his living room and she sat down gratefully. He carefully lifted her injured foot and placed it on a cushion on the coffee table in front of her. "Can I get you a drink?"

"I know it's not exactly exciting, and it doesn't go with the dress, but I'd love a."

"Cup of tea?" Spike asked, grinning.

"Yeah."

"Coming right up. Oh, and do you think you'll be up to going back - or should I call you a taxi - it might take a while at this time of night though."

"I think I'd rather not go back, thanks."

"Okay." Spike moved off into the kitchen and returned minutes later with two mugs. He handed one to Buffy before sitting down next to her.

"I was right - apparently there's not likely to be a taxi for a couple of hours, but they'll send one sooner if they can. Looks like you're stuck here, luv."

"Think I can handle that." Buffy took a sip of her tea and sighed.

"Did I mention how beautiful you look tonight, pet?" Spike asked.

"Oh, maybe just once or twice." Buffy teased.

"I mean - you all did. You, Red, Glinda." he quickly amended.

"Don't forget Anya - you know how she hates to be left out," Buffy admonished playfully.

"Of, of course - how could I ever forget Anya?" Spike replied in mock disbelief. Buffy chuckled and took another sip of her tea.

"Why do you call her that?" she asked thoughtfully.

"Call who what?"

"Tara. Why do you call her Glinda?"

Spike was silent for a minute, then shrugged.

"Dunno really. Never thought about it much - probably 'cause she's into all that Tarot nonsense. It just seemed to fit."

"Oh." She took another sip of her tea before putting it down on the table and moving closer to him. She rested her head on his shoulder and looked up at him through her eyelashes. "So, why don't you have a pet name for me?"

"Er, what about 'pet', 'luv'."

"Nope, not good enough - you call other people those," she interrupted. "You must be able to do better than that."

"Goldilocks?" he tried

"That's so lame! Try again."

"Erm, not really being inspired here." Buffy looked up at him, a wicked smile spreading across her face as she realised that she was going to do what she'd been fantasising about ever since their last time together. She'd always held back before, but this was the last night of the year, he was leaving and there was no need for it to come to anything. This seemed the perfect chance to take what she wanted with no repercussions.

"Maybe I could help inspire you." she suggested with a twinkle in her eye. Spike looked down at her.

"What do you mean?" he asked warily.

"Well," she said coquettishly, reaching up and pulling his bowtie from round his neck, where it had been lying undone for most of the evening. "I could." she said slowly as she unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it open. "Start by doing this."

Spike gasped as Buffy lean over and gently took his nipple into her mouth and sucked on it. She smiled into his skin before starting to rain kisses over his chest, moving towards the other nipple. She'd forgotten just how perfect he was and she savoured each kiss, each touch of her mouth against his alabaster skin.

"Buffy." he breathed as he let his head roll back against the back of the sofa and his eyes slid shut.

"Mmm, you inspired yet?" she said as she began her journey downwards.

"Er, n-no, not yet." he gasped.

"Well, that just won't do, will it. Guess I'll just have to try harder." Her hands came up and started to undo his belt. She looked up at him as she felt him sit up slightly to look at her.

"What about your ankle?" he said.

"Oh, it's feeling much better now," she grinned, raising an eyebrow at him. He frowned slightly.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I have to admit - it was never that bad in the first place." She grinned in triumph as she undid his belt and slid it from round his waist before tossing it to the floor. Her hands quickly returned to him and started work on the button and zip. Spike put one of his hands on top of hers, stilling them.

"Then why did you say it was?"

"Silly man - why do you think?" she asked coyly, shaking his hand off and deftly unzipping him. She reached a hand inside and he gasped again, losing all coherent thought for a minute.

He shook his head, trying to grab hold of his thoughts. He stopped her hand again.

"So, all of this was to get me alone and away for your friends?"

"Of course. I'm not going to see you again for the rest of the summer. Thought we could have some.fun.before we had to go," she teased.

"So, you thought that you could just get me back here and have your wicked way with me?" he asked. Buffy caught the un-amused tone in his voice and frowned.

"I thought this was what you wanted," she said.

Spike sighed and stood up, walking to the other side of the room to pour himself a drink.

"This isn't what I want. I mean, the only reason you're here at all is because your friends don't know you're here."

"They do - they know I'm with you." she protested.

"Yes! Yes, they know you're with me, but they don't know you're with me," he gestured to his bare chest and unzipped trousers. "Look, Buffy, this isn't the way I want this to be. If I can't have all of you, then I." he took a mouthful of his drink and turned away from her. He heard her stand up and walk towards him.

"You don't mean that, Spike. I know you want me." her hands slid round his waist from behind and ran along the length of his body, before finally settling below his waist. "I can feel that you want me, and I want you too. What's wrong with that? It doesn't need to be anything more, does it?"

Spike felt his breathing quicken at her touch and fought to maintain control. It was a losing battle as her hands moved and he relaxed under her touch as his eyes drifted closed.

"That's cheating." he panted.

He was brought back to reality by the sound of the horn outside. He took a deep breath and pulled away from her, turning to face her.

"Luv, that's your taxi." he said, taking a step away from her. She stepped back up to him and tried to put her arms round his shoulders to pull him back to her.

"Who cares, I'm not in a hurry to go anywhere."

He pulled back out of her embrace and looked at her seriously.

"I care. This is a bad idea. You need to go." He indicated the door, eyebrow raised. She shot him a dirty glare and walked out, ankle troubling her not at all.

*~*~

Spike moaned and rolled over as the shrill ring of the telephone woke him from his sleep. After Buffy had left, he'd returned to the ball and spent the rest of the night steadily drinking himself into a stupor, asking himself time and again why the hell he'd turned her down.

*Am I really that stupid? For Christ's sake - I've been dreaming about shagging the girl again ever since the first time and then, when it's handed to me on a plate, I go and turn it down. I'm a bloke - I'm meant to live for casual sex. It's meant to be me that's commitment-phobic, not her. It's just not meant to work like this.* The thread of thought continued for most of the night until he'd stumbled into bed and into sleep.

And now the phone was ringing.

*Who in hell rings at.* he looked at the clock, *11 o'clock in the morning.* He frowned as a little voice in the back of his head reminded him that that wasn't really that unreasonable. But the little voice was the part of him that wasn't anticipating the hangover that was guaranteed to pay a visit any minute now.

"Hello!" he snapped into the receiver.

"Um, hi. Spike?" Buffy's voice rang out nervously from the other end. "Did I wake you?"

"Yeah, actually, you did."

"Sorry," she took an audible breath and Spike waited to hear what was coming next. "I wanted to apologise for last night. I shouldn't have, I was, it was." she struggled to find the words. Spike decided to put her out of her misery.

"Forget it pet. Never happened."

"Thanks."

"That's okay."

"Look, I'm gonna have to go - we're at the airport and Willow's coming."

"And we can't have her knowing that you're phoning me now, can we?" Spike asked, unable to keep the hint of sarcasm out of his tone. Buffy missed it completely.

"Exactly. So, I'll see you next year?" she asked hurriedly.

"Yeah, whatever - next year."

"Have a great summer, Spike."

"See ya." He hung up the phone and sighed.

*So, that's how it's going to be then, is it?* he thought. *I can have her, but only if I don't want too much. Fine, well, if that's the way it's gonna be, then that's the way it is. No strings attached. I can cope with that.*

Chapter 24

“Bollocks!” Spike swore as his key missed the lock again. He’d been working late and now he could hear the phone ringing inside his flat, but the door seemed determined to stay shut. He finally managed to insert the key and he wrenched the door open before throwing his bag down and launching himself into a running dive, landing on the sofa and picking up the phone at the same time.

“’Lo?” he asked breathlessly. His answer was a spurt of giggles from the other end of the line.

“Did I interrupt something?” Buffy laughed. Spike frowned at her comment and then his eyes widened as he realised what she was insinuating.

“No. Hate to break it to you luv - I know how much you like to fantasise about me ‘n’ all - but I’m breathless ‘cause I’ve just rushed in through the door to pick up the phone, so get your mind out of the gutter.” Buffy just laughed and Spike decided to try another tack: he changed the subject. “So, how long have you been back then?”

“Oh, about two weeks,” Buffy said casually.

“Two weeks?” Spike tried to hide the disappointment in his voice. Two weeks - she’d been back in the country for two whole weeks and she hadn’t even rung to tell him. His heart sank as he realised that she was obviously coping very well without him.

At the other end of the line, Buffy was hoping that he would accept her casual tone without too many questions. It had been a test for herself to prove that she could live without him.

She’d done a lot of thinking over the summer and eventually decided that the whole thing that had been going on with Spike was actually just a rebound reaction to breaking up with Riley. She just couldn’t see how it could be anything else - Spike just wasn’t really her type. Her type was, well, ‘not-Spike’. So she’d decided that, when she returned to England, she would prove how much she could do without him by not calling him for a set period of time.

She’d managed two weeks. There was only one problem.

The period she’d set for herself had been a month.

"So, how's Manchester?" she heard Spike ask her.

"What? Oh, oh, fine I guess..." she said without feeling.

"You don't sound too convinced about that one, pet."

"It's just really weird - how things can be so different, but so the same. Does that make any sense?"

"Possibly - what exactly do you mean?" Spike sounded a little unsure, so Buffy decided to elaborate.

"Well, you already know that we're still in the same apartment as last year. Oz has moved out and Tara's moved into his room instead." She paused. "Well, I say that she's moved in to Oz's room in as much as all her stuff is in there, but in reality she's moved into Willow's room - Oz's old bed is more of a spare now."

"Talking of Oz, what's he doing now? Last I heard of him he was thinking about looking for a job, but he seems to have dropped off the face of the earth. He hasn't answered any of the emails that I sent him over the summer." Spike asked.

"Oh, yeah. Well, according to Willow, he decided that the whole 'work' thing wasn't for him at the moment. Apparently, he decided he needed to 'find himself' and has disappeared off round the world. He's promised to write, send us postcards and stuff, but..."

"Yeah, it's Oz, so none of us'll hear a peep from him until one day, totally out of the blue, he'll appear on one of our doorsteps and pick up his life as if he's never been away, right?" Spike joked.

"Exactly!" Buffy laughed in reply.

"What about the other pair then? They still together?"

"Xander and Anya? Yes, unbelievably, they're still together and going strong. I mean, Willow and I had a little side bet that they'd kill each other in the first few weeks, but, strangely, they seem to be doing all right. I think it might be serious. I mean, really serious."

"God. Never saw that one coming, but each to their own - good luck to them I guess." Buffy could almost imagine the shrug that Spike gave with this comment and smiled quietly into the phone as she pictured him. "So, how's you then?"

"What?" she asked, shaking the image out of her mind and concentrating on what Spike was saying to her.

"How's you?" he repeated. "Final year 'n' all - how's it going?" Buffy sighed.

"Hard work. I only started two weeks ago and already they're piling on the work! I have two books to read for next week's seminars and an assignment due in two weeks. I mean, if this is what it's like at the beginning of October, I just can't imagine what it'll be like come March!" She scowled into the phone, not caring that he couldn't see her face. "I've decided that I don't want to do it. It's just not worth it!" she declared.

"You don't mean that and we both know it. Trust me - it'll be over before you realise. Just take some advice and don't fall behind or you'll never get back on top of it." Spike told her patiently.

"Ooh. Now that you mention it - tell me, tell me - how did you do?" Buffy asked excitedly as she remembered that Spike had now graduated.

"Got a 2:1 in the end. Not bad, especially considering the work, or lack of it, I put in!" he declared proudly.

"Ah, that's great - I'm so pleased for you. So, you're now Mr William Giles with letters after your name." She paused for a minute in thought. "What letters do you have now?"

"BSc (Hons)," he helpfully supplied.

"So, Mr William Giles BSc (Hons). Very posh."

"Yeah, whatever, but it doesn't mean you can go around calling me some poncy name like 'William' - the only people who call me that are my parents."

"I wouldn't dream of it - Willie!" she laughed.

"Oi!" he said, pretending to get annoyed. Buffy just laughed harder.

"You know, it's just so easy to wind you up! Has to be one of my favourite things to do!" She giggled as she could hear Spike sulking down the phone line. "Anyway, how's life as a working man?"

"Fine," he said, obviously still in a funk.

"Spike, don't be like that. Stop moping and talk to me. How's work?"

"I'm really enjoying it actually," he said, coming out of his bad mood and back to his normal self. "More than I thought I would."

"What do you do again?" Buffy asked - he'd told her before in one of the many emails they’d traded over the summer, but she’d forgotten.

"Okay, I'm going to start off vague and you tell me when I'm getting too complicated for you. I work with computers," he started.

"Okay, that's all I need to know!" she stopped him quickly.

"You're joking, right?" he asked incredulously.

"Nope. I know enough about computers to know where the 'ON' button is, how to operate Word to do my essays and how to send emails and do internet stuff, but that's all I know and probably all I'll ever know and so, if you tell me anymore, it'll be all 'nod and smile' and I won't be any the wiser at the end of it."

"That's awful! How can you…" Spike was lost for words.

"Let me put it another way - are you able to tell me all about the intricacies of social etiquette in Jane Austen novels?"

"Never read any of them."

"Right - so that's me and computers then."

"But, what if something goes wrong? There's not much call for errors in Jane Austen novels."

"If something goes wrong with my computer?" she smiled sweetly into the receiver and put on her most seductive voice. "Why, then I'll just call you to come over and fix it for me, won't I?"

“And you expect that I’ll just come a running eh, pet?”

“Of course you will,” she said confidently and Spike decided that, that being the truth, he really didn’t have a comeback.

“So, when you coming to visit me then?” he asked instead.

“Dunno.”

“What you doing this weekend?”

“Spike, it’s 10pm on Friday night.”

“So?”

“So, I think my weekend might already be planned…” Buffy argued, hoping that he won’t notice that it was Friday night, and she wasn’t out but in, talking to him. She didn’t have anything planned for the weekend, but he didn’t need to know that.

“…Which is why you’re in talking to me instead of out partying with y’mates…”

*Damn! He noticed!* she thought to herself.

“Come round,” he asked again.

She took a deep breath. She couldn’t go round - she was trying to prove to herself that he meant nothing to her, something that was hard enough without having to see him face to face. He was the rebound guy and a relationship with the rebound guy could lead to nothing but heartache. It wasn’t worth getting into.

“No.”

“Please.”

“I have too much work - final year, remember? I have books to read and essays to write.”

“So, bring the books with you…”

“No.”

Spike sighed. She obviously wasn’t going to come over and he was starting to sound desperate and that wasn’t good for the image. He laughed to himself - not that he had an image when it came to her. Everyone else fell for the ‘big bad’ thing, with the leather and the black clothes. She’d looked at him for the first time and immediately seen through it, she saw him. It’d left him feeling quite vulnerable at first - which is where most of their ‘arguments’ had stemmed from. She always managed to get him on the defensive, which lead to almost continual verbal sparring between them. Still, he’d got used to it, and now it was nice not to have to keep up the act he put on around everybody else, nice just to be able to relax, let go and be himself.

“So, where’s everyone else then, pet?” he asked, deciding to change the subject.

“Willow and Tara have gone out for the evening and Xander and Anya, well, I haven’t seen them around all day, so I s’pose they must be out too - they’re definitely not here anyway. It’s strange; I’m suddenly the single girl living with two couples. They’re always in pairs. I guess that’s what I was like with Riley last year.” She sighed.

“You sound a bit off about that, luv.”

“Not really, it’s just an odd thought. Never really gave much thought to how I was like as one half of a couple before. Now I seem to be on the outside looking in.”

“Yeah, know what you mean. Anyway, girl like you doesn’t stay single for long - would have thought you’d be back out on the pull by now,” he remarked, trying to distance himself from the fact that he’d like to be the one to stop her being single.

“Not really looking at the moment - am being happily single,” she said, trying to sound cheery.

“Which is the reason that you’re home all alone then is it?” he asked with a smirk.

“I can hear that smirk you know!”

“Bollocks! It’s down a phone line - you can’t see my face!”

“I guess I just know you too well!”

“Whatever. So, you’re home all alone then are you?” Spike asked, lowering his voice to a slow drawl.

“Yes…” she responded, frowning slightly and wondering what he was getting at.

“What you wearing?” he asked teasingly.

“My yummy sushi pyjamas,” she answered, humour filling her voice as she began to realise what he wanted - and how disappointed he was going to be.

“What do they look like?” he said, smiling into the phone, thinking that he’d got her playing along.

“Well…” she said in her sexiest voice.

“Yes?”

“They’re white…” she continued.

“Go on…” he said, obviously interested.

“Made of thick cotton, long pants and an over-sized shirt with a sushi pattern on,” she said matter-of-factly, bringing Spike smartly out of his fantasy.

“Oh,” he said, not even trying to contain his disappointment - he’d thought that he was on to a winner.

“Yes.”

“Couldn’t you be wearing something sexier?” he sulked.

“What, like a black lace negligee, laced up the front, a little small so that my ripe, firm breasts seem to spill out of the low cut top?” she asked, returning to her previous sexy drawl.

“Oh, God, yes!” Spike breathed.

”Sorry, no.”

“Please?” he practically begged.

“No - we are so not going there.”

“Why not?” Buffy had to laugh at his tone - he sounded like a little boy.

“Drop it Spike,” she warned, laughingly.

“But you’re all alone in that big flat…” Spike said in his most persuasive tone.

“With housemates that could come back at any time” Buffy argued.

“So…” he persisted, encouraged by the fact that she’d resorted to excuses rather than flat out refusing him.

“So, I don’t want to be caught in a compromising position in the middle of our living room by the people I have to live with.”

“So, go to your room…” he wheedled.

“Right. So, when Xander gets home he can pick up the other handset and have a heart attack when he hears us heavy breathing down the line at each other. I really don’t think so.”

“You’re no fun - you know that’d never happen.”

“It could so…”

“So, you’re not saying ‘no’ to the whole idea, just ‘not here’?” Spike asked.

Buffy sat there silently for a minute as she realised that that was exactly what she was saying. They’d been dancing round the subject all night, but she knew that he knew that she wanted him.

*He’s just the rebound guy, remember. And you know better than to get involved with the rebound guy - that way leads to pain and heartbreak. It’d never work, Spike and I and sex - great. Spike and I in a relationship - never work,* she told herself firmly. She took a deep breath.

“We’re not having this conversation, Spike.”

“What? Yes we are!” He wouldn’t let the subject drop. He had her and he knew it - he could hear it in the way that her breathing had been quick and uneven ever since the conversation had turned from heavy flirting into definite possibility.

He could almost sense her indecision and could imagine her chewing at her bottom lip as she tried to decide whether to give into him or not.

“Come round,” he proposed invitingly once more. This time he smiled as his request was not immediately denied.

“What? Now?” he heard her ask him breathlessly.

“Yes, now.”

“I can’t…” she began reluctantly.

“Why not?”

“It’s late.”

“Tomorrow morning then?” he asked, trying to sound reasonable, but in reality desperate to see her again now that there seemed a chance she might capitulate. The other end of the line was silent and he smiled, as he knew she was giving it some serious thought.

“I’ll think about it,” he finally heard her quietly promise. “But I have to go now. Bye.”

At the other end of the line, Buffy hung up before he had a chance to answer and sat there for a moment, wondering what had just happened.

*Was I really just about to have phone-sex with Spike? What was I thinking? I don’t do that, I’d never, not even, well.* Her thoughts ground to a halt before starting up again. *In all the time I was with Riley, all that time miles apart, we never even thought about it. We wouldn’t. But, God, Spike made it sound so tempting.*

She chewed nervously at her bottom lip as she thought about the whole conversation, about Spike, about all the reasons she should just cut him off and forget about him - get on with the rest of her life.

*I’m not going to get involved. I don’t want a relationship, and definitely not one with him,* she told herself again, firmly.

*Who said anything about a relationship?* the little voice in the back of her head piped up. *He certainly didn’t…*

Buffy slumped back against the sofa. She wasn’t going to think about this any more. She was going to watch some trashy show on TV and then organise her weekend with the others when they got in. She looked at her watch - 10:30. They shouldn’t be long now.

A/N - Okay, so some of you might be wondering what the hell a 2:1 degree is. I think that the US equivalent is about a 3.0 GPA, but that probably makes more sense to some of you than it does to me!

Chapter 25

“Shh!” Willow giggled to Tara as she opened the front door, the stage whisper she used came out almost louder than if she’d spoken normally. “We have to be quiet - Buffy’s probably in bed asleep by now.” Tara looked at her watch, which showed the time to be just after midnight and nodded emphatically to her girlfriend before pointing down the stairs.

“I need a drink of water, are you coming?”

“Sure.”

The two girls tried to tiptoe down the stairs to the living room rather unsuccessfully, *Which could have something to do with the two, no three, bottles of wine we’ve drunk tonight,* Willow reflected before tripping down the final step and falling into the living room.

Buffy looked up from the book she had been reading, slightly startled by the sudden appearance of a somewhat inebriated Willow. The redhead smiled sheepishly and picked herself up off the floor as Tara entered the room somewhat more gracefully.

“Hiya Buffy! You have a nice night?” Tara asked her.

“Oh, you know. Watched a bit of TV, read some.” She indicated the book she was holding, trying not to blush. For some reason she didn’t want to mention her talk with Spike. Even though nothing had actually happened, the mere thought of their conversation seemed to be able to set her face ablaze. “You?” she asked nonchalantly, trying to deflect attention away from her.

“We had a great time!” Tara enthused. “Might have drunk a little too much though…” she trailed off.

“Glad you had a good time. Ooh - I was wondering if you two wanted to go on a shopping spree tomorrow?” Buffy asked eagerly - determined to have something to do this weekend. Willow and Tara glanced at each other awkwardly.

“I’m sorry, Buffy. We kind of have plans…” Willow told her friend, tone tinged with regret. Buffy tried to hide her disappointment.

“That’s okay. No big,” she said with a smile. “Maybe Xander wants to do something…”

“Don’t you know?” Willow asked, slightly surprised.

“Know what? There was something that I was s’posed to know?” Buffy asked quickly, wondering if she’d been told and had forgotten.

“Xander took Anya away for the weekend. He didn’t actually say as much, but I think he might be going to propose to her!” Willow declared excitedly.

Buffy pouted. “Now that is something I would have remembered. Which can only lead me to the conclusion that nobody told me. Okay, it’s official - I am the only one round here with no life!” She stood up and walked across the room. “That’s it, I’ve had enough. I’m going,” she declared as she flounced up the stairs. The two other girls followed her into her bedroom.

“Buffy, it’s after midnight. Where exactly are you intending to go?” Willow asked as she watched her friend pull random clothes out of her wardrobe and stuff them haphazardly into the bag she’d pulled from under the bed.

“Leeds,” Buffy said simply as she zipped up the bag.

“You’re going to see Spike? Do you even know where he lives?” Willow couldn’t believe that her friend was actually going to leave in the middle of the night to drive somewhere she’d never been before.

“I have his address,” Buffy thought for a second. “And I have to use your computer to download the directions. It’ll only take a minute and then I’ll be going.” She marched purposefully towards Willow’s room, the two astonished girls in tow.

“Does he know you’re coming?” Tara asked.

“No. So I guess it’ll be a nice surprise for him, won’t it?” Buffy decided as she pressed print.

“So, let me get this straight, you’re going to leave Manchester in the middle of the night and drive through the dark some 100-odd miles…” Willow began. Buffy looked at her piece of paper.

“Actually, according to this, it’s only 57 miles…”

“Some 57 miles,” Willow amended. “To a house you’ve never been to, to spend the weekend with a guy who doesn’t even know that you’re coming?” Willow’s tone was incredulous now, but her whole speech had been said as she followed Buffy to the front door of the flat.

“That’s about the size of it,” Buffy said with a smile as she walked out of the door and closed it behind her.

*~*~

Buffy pulled over to the side of the road and switched on the overhead light as she peered at what now seemed like a fairly flimsy bit of white paper.

She hadn’t really let herself think about what she was doing when she left the flat in Manchester almost an hour ago. She’d been pissed off that she suddenly seemed to be out of the loop - her so-called friends seemed to be completely wrapped up in their own lives and relationships and Buffy suddenly felt left behind. She’d just had to get out of there and Spike had been the first person she’d thought of.

*After all, he had been practically begging me to visit him.*

But now, it didn’t seem like such a great plan after all. It was past 1am, the streets were dark and deserted and she had no idea where she was. Spike was bound to be in bed asleep and Buffy didn’t want to contemplate what she would do if she couldn’t wake him when she finally arrived at him flat.

She peered again at the map and at the streets around her as she tried to get her bearings. *These damned English streets are so confusing - the directions just don’t make sense* she declared, not for the first time.

Finally she managed to work out where she was and pulled off again, satisfied that she was going in the right direction.

*~*~

It was a very tired Buffy that pulled up outside Spike’s flat half an hour later. She dragged herself out of the car, picking up her bag as she locked it, and walked towards the front door, double checking the address as she did so - she had no great wish to wake up some complete stranger in the middle of the night.

She took a deep breath and then lifted a fist to knock on the door.

There was no answer.

She bit her lip nervously as she wondered if he was in.

*Of course he’s in, stupid - you spoke to him less than three hours ago. What kind of a person goes out at 11 o’clock at night?*

She decided not to answer that one.

Buffy knocked again, louder this time and stood nervously on the doorstep, contemplating the thought of the possible drive home.

She was pulled out of her despair by the sound of footsteps at the other side of the door and she smiled when she heard the familiar grumble.

“What the bloody hell? Do you even know what bloody time it is?”

Spike wrenched open the door and stopped his tirade mid-flow as he stared at the petite figure on his doorstep. His mouth dropped open and his eyes grew wide as he searched for something to say.

“My, my. We are grumpy tonight, aren’t we?” Buffy said teasingly as she pushed past him and into his flat. He yielded to her without a word. “I said that I’d think about it. Well, I did - and here I am. Aren’t you pleased to see me?”







Chapter 26

“Really, you look surprised to see me!” Buffy declared in a disbelieving tone, trying not to laugh as Spike stood at the door, gawping at her, completely speechless. She watched, amused, as he visibly managed to school himself into some semblance of his normal persona.

“Summers,” he smirked. “Just couldn’t stay away from me, eh?”

“You wish!” she snorted derogatively before turning and walking further into the flat. Spike closed the door before following her.

He knew that she wasn’t here because he’d asked her; at least, that wasn’t the only reason. He’d thought about it a lot over the summer and now his eyes were clear. He didn’t kid himself that this - *Whatever this is* he thought - was about him. This wasn’t about him at all. This was entirely about her.

”So, why are you here?” he asked her as he caught up with her in the living room. She was standing by one of the bookshelves he had put up on the far side of the room, scanning the titles there. She ran a finger along the spines of the books on the shelf refusing to look at him.

“Had nothing better to do,” she said, casually.

He caught her wrist and pinned her up against the wall. *This might be her game, but that doesn’t mean I can’t change the rules a little,* he thought to himself as he pressed his body against hers until she raised her gaze to met his.

“Is that right?” he asked slowly, enunciating each word as though he were savouring it, never dropping his gaze from hers.

Buffy swallowed unconsciously as she was held in place both physically, by his body pressed hard against hers, and also by the intensity of his blue eyes. Her pupils dilated and she licked her lips as her breathing quickened. Spike noticed the change and smiled at her.

“Oh, yeah - you’re definitely only here because you had nothing better to do!” he laughed sarcastically, before suddenly releasing her and turning away. “Well, since that’s the case, the couch is there - I’ll get you some spare blankets,” he called over his shoulder as he walked out of the room.

Buffy frowned as she found herself suddenly alone. Things weren’t exactly progressing the way she’d expected them to.

Spike walked back into the room carrying a single blanket he’d hastily dragged from the back of his wardrobe. He stifled a smile at the confused look on the girl’s face. He walked over to the couch and started to lay out the blanket.

“Something the matter, pet?” he asked, turning to look at her over his shoulder. She just stared at him. He leisurely finished making up the couch before strolling over to her, making sure to take his time.

“Oh! I get it!” he announced as he reached her, as if the thought had only just occurred to him. “You didn’t realise I didn’t have a spare bed? Not used to having to sleep on the sofa, right luv?” he said with a smile.

“No. I didn’t think I’d be sleeping on the sofa…” she agreed thoughtfully, trying to hint at more. She wasn’t sure what was going on here - their phone call earlier had suggested so much more - but here she was, preparing for a night on the sofa. Spike decided to ignore the obviously leading tone of her voice - this was far too much fun.

“No?” He asked, letting a hint of desire drip into his tone. Buffy caught it and smiled slightly, suddenly catching onto the game he was playing. She took a step closer and looked at him through hooded eyes.

“No. It just looks sooo uncomfortable. And I always get this little crick in my neck. Just. About. Here.” As she spoke she ran a delicate, perfectly manicured finger down the side of her neck, before letting it trace down and round into the curve of her throat. Unable to help himself, Spike’s eyes followed the single digit and his mouth suddenly went very dry.

“Oh,” he croaked and moistened his mouth before he went on. “Well, we can’t have that then, can we?”

“No, we can’t, can we?” she purred as she closed the small distance between them so that they were standing facing each other, a mere hairsbreadth apart. She looked at him, an expression of pure lust on her face and Spike wondered if he could take this little game any further or whether he should just give up and give into her right now - it would be so easy.

*But then, when was I ever one to chose the easy path?* he asked himself wryly.

“Well, I could always take the sofa instead, pet…” he started.

“Shut up, Spike,” Buffy told him firmly before reaching up and pulling him down into a passionate kiss. Spike just nodded fervently as he returned it, grasping her round the waist and pulling her body flush against his.

Her fingers found their way into his hair and she played with the platinum blonde locks, as her mind was lost to pure sensation. All she had left behind - her friends with their seemingly perfect lives, her newfound loneliness - none of it mattered here, in his arms. All of it melted away until all that was left was the moment.

They broke the kiss, both breathing heavily and for a moment they stood there, wrapped in each other’s embrace, just looking at each other. No words were said, but a silent agreement seemed to pass between them that the subject of what this was would never come up between them. The agreement was sealed when Spike leaned in to kiss her passionately once more.

She returned the kiss as her hands slipped under the back of his shirt to touch the skin there. He groaned into her mouth as her fingers brushed lightly over the skin at the base of his spine.

“God, Buffy!” he moaned as she began to lightly run her fingers up and down the length of his back, teasing and tickling the skin with feather light touches until he could stand it no longer. She shrieked with surprise as he swiftly moved and flipped her tiny figure up into his arms.

“Spike! What the hell do you think you’re doing!” she squealed as he walked across the room. “Put me down! Where are we going?”

“I’m taking you to bed, pet. Where do you think we’re going?” he said as he walked into another room.

The room was decorated in earth tones, the walls a rich shade of cream, complimented by a tan-coloured carpet on the floor and rich chocolate tones in the bedspread and curtains. Tasteful black and white framed prints completed the fairly minimalist decoration of the large bedroom.

All of this was lost on Buffy and she was carried shrieking and laughing over to the king-sized bed, where she was unceremoniously dumped.

She lay on the bed for a minute or two, watching the man who stood over her at the edge of the bed as she caught her breath. Then she looked up at him, a playful smile ghosting across her full lips.

“So,” she purred softly. “Now you’ve whisked me away to your bed, what do you plan on doing with me?” Spike smiled and pounced, landing on top of her, weight supported by his arms, which were positioned at either side of her head. He leaned in until his nose was almost touching hers and smiled.

“Keep you here, of course,” he said with a raise of one eyebrow before leaning in to capture her mouth in another searing kiss. Buffy smiled to herself as she returned it, *Now this is more how I expected it to go.*

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