“Spike! WAKE UP!”

“Nyarghumngharoohmmmmmmmmmm”

Buffy shrugged and dropped the book as well as the chunky file, pencil case and stake she was carrying, on Spike’s head.

“BLOODY HELL SLAYER!”

Spike violently thrashed at the covers and fell off the bed.

“Class in 5 minutes Spike!” Buffy grinned and picked up her stuff, now scattered on the floor by Spike’s bed.

“Bleedin’ Slayer.”

Spike grumbled all the way to the sink and splashed his face with water. He loved Buffy more than anything, but sometimes he felt the urge to get her ‘Tact and Elegance for Ungroomed ladies’ as a plea from himself and probably half of Campus.
His face broke into a grin. Who wouldn’t have laughed at the picture that his life was.
Point One: Best friends with the Slayer
Point Two: Living with said Slayer in a College dorm.
Point Three: Taking University courses with his mortal friends who knew he was a vampire.

Point Four: Not feeding. On blood. At All. He could if he wanted to, for pleasures sake. Red had found a spell that could stop Spike being reliant on blood for survival. It was necessary for the spell to use Slayers blood willingly given and Spike had to be a perfectly ‘normal’ vampire, no soul or chip or anything. He was. She was. And here he was.

“Spike, I realllllyyyy gotta go!”

Buffy clicked her tongue and tapped her foot like she always did when he was late. Spike skidded out of their room, lunged at the door handle, yanked the door shut, grabbed the bored-looking Buffy’s hand and ‘legged it’ (basically he ran like hell)

The few people who didn’t have classes then, grinned in the usual pattern of the infamous campus friends. Every morning without fail, they were late for Professor Chedock’s  or Bowen’s or Heugh’s or…whoever’s class they had. Buffy would always be waiting outside their room and Spike would always follow the same rushed, clumsy pattern of skidding, lunging and legging.

 “Ah, Buffy, Will, I believe this is the 134th black order you are due to receive for lateness?” Professor Bowen sighed. They had punished and punished the two friends, however the tardiness continued. If they were that consistent with their grades, he mused, then they’d be a lot better off.

Spike and Buffy grinned and slipped into their seats at the back, knowing that the professor’s were tired of punishing them. A few of their friends did the usual greetings. Xander nodded his head, asleep to the world, Bradd winked at Buffy and smirked at Spike, Bella sighed and cocked her head in her ‘it’s the way of the world’ way, Tucker and Tyson burped…that wasn’t a greeting as such, they just did it because it disturbed Spike…. and the day began.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Spike and Willow were having a mild argument when Buffy sprinted up to Spike that afternoon, in the campus café.

“Spike, there is no way, and I mean this Spike, no way at all that I’m doing that.”

“Red, it’s not exactly going to take you long.”

“Spike, it’s not morally right!”

“What so wrong about it. I’m into it. You’re into it. I don’t see where the morally wrong bit comes in. All I want is for you to be a bit wild this one time….”

Buffy raised her eyebrows as she and Spike did ‘their little thingy’. It was just a habit for Spike and Buffy now, but their friends still found it funny. As if on cue, Spike and Buffy would start this little…’ritual’ as Willow called it.
- Touch noses

- Bump right shoulders.

- Hold an imaginary stake to own heart and stake twice.
- Hug.

Willow grinned as Spike continued to talk while absent-mindedly doing his and Buffy’s traditional greeting.

<Those two are amazingly close>

“What’s on the uppy guys?” Buffy’s eyes twinkled as she pulled away from the ritual hug, her mind brimming with puns about how the conversation she had heard could be twisted.

“Spike’s trying to make me ditch the assembly tomorrow to go with him to the Wicca/vamp meeting of the year.”

 

“Oh no…” Buffy groaned.

”Whats up people?” Bella jogged up and was quickly filled in. “A whatty meeting?”

“ It’s this weird thing where Wiccans who have cast powerful vampire nature –altering spells, gather with the vampires in question and go on show. Spike’s obsessed with going because of last time.”

“I just want some nice QT with Red…”

Buffy snorted. “Yeah right, ego-boy.”

Bella grinned and tilted her head questioningly.

“This other vampire had got himself a Wicca who claimed to be able to make him not reliant on blood like Spike, and that vampire and his Wicca presented themselves to the group, before us, and we looked like copycats. Spike was laughed at by the other vamps.”

Spike growled and then grinned.

“Whoa, what’s with the happy?” Buffy furrowed her eyebrows.

“I just got word that the soddin’ vamp is dyin’ again from bloodlust. Spell was a dud.”

”Spike – you are totally weird.”

“I know pet, but you love me anyway.”

Half the campus had at one point thought that Spike and Buffy were meant to be. That was after it emerged that Spike had been in love with Buffy. However, Spike had no doubt that he didn’t feel like that about Buffy anymore – she was his best friend now. They did love each other, but, not like that.

“Damn.” Spike glanced at his watch. “ I got a class. See you guys.”

“See ya Spike!”

Spike rushed through the back door and sprinted to his last class of the day – Art.

Buffy hated Art more than anything, it was one subject they did not share. Spike liked the class despite the lack of close friends in it. He had always liked Art. Drawing had been all he could do to keep reminders of Drusilla and Angelus in the old days and he would secretly draw things during the day sometimes.

Spike shook his head, shaking off the thought and he bumped into someone.

“Oh damn, sorry.” Spike bent down to pick up the fallen sketchbooks and bumped heads with the stranger and they both laughed.

“How about I pick up the sheets that fell out and you can sort them into yours and mine in class.”

Spike looked up when he heard the unfamiliar, strong British accent hit his ears. His breath caught at the site before him. Big beautiful chocolate eyes were laughing into his. Big beautiful, female, erot-…exotic eyes.

“You don’t like a Brit.” Spike said, dumbly and his eyes bugged in horror when he realised he had said it out loud.

She laughed and her long dark hair fell over her shoulder. “No, I’m Spanish, but I’ve lived in England all my life, visited Spain every year for family though.” She smiled and stood up, leaving a babbling Spike staring at the heel of her shoes. He quickly stood up mumbling about how lovely Spain was, as he stepped into the art class with the Spanish Brit.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike opened the dorm door and all but floated into the room. Buffy raised her eyebrow and watched as the glowing vampire breezed into the room, barely acknowledging her presence.

“Halloo? Anyone at home in Spikeville?”

“Sara, but she likes to be called Sara, 23, with a body to die for and taste to eat up, Spanish, but brought up in good old England, just transferred for graduating year with us...with me.”

Spike talked airily while easily doing the ‘routine’.

- Touch noses

- Bump right shoulders.

- Hold an imaginary stake to own heart and stake twice.
- Hug.

“Oh no, not another airhead.” Buffy was used to Spike’s flings, mostly with Harmony wannabes. She rolled her eyes as they pulled back from the hug.

“She is the total opposite of airhead, she’s just as smart as me and she checks me on almost everything, she’s a great artist and she looks bloody brilliant with her hair up and all messy while she’s sketching.”

Buffy frowned and then smiled. Ok, so maybe this was a bit more than a fling....

“Hold that thought Spike, I think that take away gave me a tummy ache I need to take something, give me a sec and I’ll be right back.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

… lunged at the door handle, yanked the door shut, grabbed the bored-looking Buffy’s hand and ‘legged it’.

They bristled into the classroom and slid into their usual seats at the back. Buffy turned to Spike to share his textbook, realising hers was in their room and was annoyed to see his face was directed towards the professor.

<Since when is Spike so into Literature class? >

Granted, he had been the one to suggest it to her, but Spike was generally laid back in class, like her. She followed his gaze to the front of the classroom and found it rested, not on the professor, but on the back of an obviously female head.

<That must be Sara>

Spike was all but drooling as Buffy rolled her eyes and yanked his textbook out of his hand. He didn’t even notice.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

- Touch noses

- Bump right shoulders.

- Hold an imaginary stake to own heart and stake twice
- Hug

 

“See ya Buff.” Spike pulled away from the hug and rushed to catch up with the girl he had been watching all lesson.

”See ya.” Buffy mumbled and continued in the opposite direction. She didn’t know why but she had a weird feeling in her tummy. It wasn’t unusual for Spike to suddenly start doting on his new love interest, so it wasn’t that she missed his company…

“Oh, sod this.” She grumbled and head towards Bradd and Bella.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike stopped short of the library door and watched as Sara walked towards one of the private booths in the corner. His breath caught at her appearance.

Her Spanish eyes were focussed on whatever she was reading and her head was tilted ever so slightly and Spike swore that if she pouted he would combust. Her slender figure was clad in a pair of low riding deep red-brown flare corduroy trousers and an orange mid-drift-baring torn T-shirt.  Her hair was in a two messy braids, precariously held up in a lopsided bun-wannabe shape, by a big black claw.

”Holy fuck.”

Spike slid into the library and eased into the booth that she was in.

Her eyebrows rose, but she kept silent as he started reading over her shoulder.

“You do realise,” she started, “that this booth is private?”

Spike comically pondered the thought and she smiled, never taking her eyes from his, challenging him. “Aware of the fact pet, but I’m always one for a little rule bending.”

Her eyes twinkled as her face inched closer to his. Her lips inched closer to his.

 “I’m sure Daddy won’t mind.” She breathed.

“Daddy?” Spike mumbled absently focused on her nearing face.

“Mmm, I think you call him Dean Restrepo.”

Half focussed on the way her R’s came out as purrs and half focused on the fact that she was the Dean’s daughter, Spike was totally shocked by her kiss.

 He forgot everything else as he expertly kissed her back.

Buffy stopped dead in her tracks and watched them. Watched Spike. Kiss. Sara. She stopped breathing and felt as if a huge block was in her throat. Suddenly her head was filled with images of Buffy and Spike love. “Oh No.” Buffy shook her head and sprinted from the library.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*

Please please review!!!! I feel elated and I write more (if that’s a bad thing – tell me!!)

“Spike?”

Buffy looked up and wearily shook her head – “He’s not here, mate.”

“Oh’k!” the door slammed behind one of Spike’s Art friends. Buffy didn’t know his name.

<Pull yourself together Buffy. It’s a phase – you haven’t had a guy in awhile – kinda miss having that feeling – you’re JEALOUS of Spike getting a girlfriend, not of the girlfriend getting Spike. Not that you want a girlfriend, you want a boyfriend…>

It was long into night before Buffy got some sleep. Even so, she was asleep when Spike snuck in a lot later.

*~*~*~*~~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*

<… lunged at the door handle, yanked the door shut, grabbed the bored-looking Buffy’s hand and ‘legged it’.>

Buffy thought of the familiar routine and chided herself.

<I’m so stupid – Spike and me have strong friendship rituals, some stupid fling that-is-a-bit-more-than-a-fling could never damage that>

 

It was true that as time had gone on, Spike spent more and more time with Sara. Gone were the days when Buffy and Spike were attached at the hip. People had noticed, but hey, Spike and her still had some stuff that nothing could take away.

Buffy stretched happily and felt the warmth of the sunrays warm her mood. She was feeling much better after her internal pep talk.
 

<This is going to be a GOOD day>

“C’mon pet, we gotta get to class.”

Buffy frowned at Spike’s very-awake voice and sat up.

“Spike…you’re…awake…and…ready…to go to…class?”

“Don’t look so shocked pet – thought I’d betta clean up my act for our last year an all.”

“Spike, graduating year is meant to be the one you mess around the MOST in.”

“C’mon Slayer.”

“How long have you been up?”

“Acoupleofhours.”

“A COUPLE OF HOURS?”

”SLAYER – are you or are you not coming – I’m perfectly happy to leave without you.”

Buffy tried not to show how her face fell. She just realised what she smelt. Cologne. On. Spike. He was wearing different clothes. His books were all ready. He was practically glowing like a fucking luminous ‘I’M HOT’ sign in Vegas.

<Dressed to impress>

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The hall outside their room was filled with the usual mid-class loitering crowd.

Buffy could feel them staring.

She could feel them stare at the change in the pattern of the last three years.

She felt like they could feel how low she felt.

She felt like they could see her eyes stung from unshed tears.

She felt like they could tell she wasn’t his ‘number one gal’ anymore.

She felt like they could tell he was oblivious.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They made class with three minutes spare.

Professor Guilder looked up momentarily and went back to his work. Then he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and looked up again.  William and Buffy had just come in. He checked his watch, almost comically. They were 3 minutes early.  He observed the changes. William was not chatting to Buffy as the two friends usually were. Instead, the man’s eyes were scanning the room. Buffy looked detached, falsely happy and chatty. Guilder sighed. Buffy and William, though scolded often, were held close in all the professor’s hearts. Rarely had such a strong friendship been seen. Their wit together was irresistible to all; you couldn’t stay upset at them for long. He wished that whatever misfortune had occurred to cause such a change would disappear. He wished greatly for them to rush in late tomorrow. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy head to her seat at the back of the lecture and slid into it, stacking her books in front of her.

“Hey Buff,” Buffy looked up at him and saw he was looking up front again. “I’m gonna sit up front today, ok pet?”

Buffy’s world collapsed. He didn’t even look at her. He was too busy staring at the front of the room. Buffy didn’t have to turn and see who it was. She knew.

“Fuck you, Spike.” she whispered, suddenly finding it harder to breathe.

He had heard her. She knew it. He didn’t care.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She spent the whole lesson staring at him. Everyone was looking at her, at him too, but mostly her. She was alone and he was with someone. They didn’t understand. Even Guilder seemed to be glancing at her and Spike.

Buffy watched him lean towards her notes. Her hands slapped him away. He grabbed her hand and Buffy watched them still for a few seconds. Staring at each other. He laid her hand on the desk and used a biro in his hand to draw something on her hand.

 

Buffy did nothing but stare. And when the lesson ended. He stood with her and left with her. Buffy left alone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A week passed. Spike never sat with Buffy anymore. He left for classes without her and he didn’t go slaying with her as often. When they were together, all he could talk about was Sara. More than a fucking fling.

”Miss Summers!”

Buffy turned in the hallway and saw the Dean head towards her.

<Is the whole family rooting for Buffy-misery? > She stopped and shook her head. <No reason to go weird Buffy, Dean Restrepo is actually kinda nice>

 “Yes, Sir?”

“Your Professors have started talking to me about your performance in class Miss Summers. They are terribly worried. You really can’t afford to slack off too much in final year. You are detached, sometimes not even coming to your lectures, let alone participating. We want to help you, is something wrong?”

He knew what was wrong. He could see it in her eyes. He could see the same in Sara’s eyes…without the sadness. His heart broke for the girl before him, but without interfering more than a Dean should, he could not help her.

“I- I’m sorry Dean Restrepo. Some...things have been happening a few problems with friends, family. It’s nothing I can’t handle. I’ll be better after a rest-up weekend.”

“I certainly hope so Miss Summers. If you need anything, my door is always open.”

“Thanks.”

He nodded and turned into his office leaving Buffy in the hallway for a moment, before she walked away.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Hello Buffy.”

“Hey Giles, How ya doin?”

“I’m doing well, thank you Buffy. How are you and Spike?”

“I’m cool Giles, Spike’s great too.”

She heard Giles chuckle slightly over the phone.

“What?” she asked

“Buffy, you never call me unless there is a problem of some sort. Spike and I alternate calling each fortnight and that is when you and I speak.”

“Oh.”

“And on that matter, I didn’t receive a telephone call from him last weekend.”

Buffy felt a stab of the hurt that had been following her all week. “He’s been busy.”

“Doing what exactly? I worry about you two you know. He is a target for orthodox vampires.”

“I’ll get him to call you Giles.”

“Buffy, what’s wrong?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Hey Spike!” Buffy called out.

“One minute, mate!” Spike waved his hand at his friend and turned back to Sara, “I did the two sketches but Denver wanted the other pieces from the chalk work done next week so I started the research bit, instead of next week so I have next week free for chalk work.”

 

“I already started chalk work, I finished most of my pieces, and I think I’ll do one more and I’ll have enough, but the two sketches haven’t even been started yet and I still have the research bit to do.”

“Well, how about we do the research bit now and I’ll help you out – then next week you can finish research and do you sketches.”

“Great, and I’ll give you a hand with your chalk work next week so then our reports should be done at the same time and we can both pass.”

“Damn right pet.” Spike grinned and kissed Sara’s smirking lips.

Buffy watched them giggle and turned away.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Hey Buffy.” Spike smiled as he entered their room and closed the door. He went in to touch noses but she turned her head away and said….

 “Hi.”

“Whoa, what icicle is stuck up your arse pet?”

“Fuck you Spike.”

Spike frowned and stared at Buffy. He could read her better than anyone – and he could read pretty clearly that she was pissed and dangerous.

“C’mon pet, we’ll go patrollin’ and I can help you pound some demon flesh.”

Buffy felt her heart melt. She should have been mad. But she barely had any time with Spike anymore and what time she had, she wanted to use wisely. So she sucked up her pride.

“Fine.”

Buffy grabbed her jacket and stalked out of the room leaving a raised-eyebrows Spike trailing behind her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“BUFFY!”

**kick**

”SLAYER!”

Spike dusted he vamp he was fighting and rushed to Buffy.

A gang of 10 or so new-in-town vamps had launched themselves at Buffy and Spike. The fight had been on for over an hour since more and more vamps had come to aid the leaders of their ‘gang’.

Spike had taken out all but one of them.

Buffy kept pounding at the first one.

For the whole time.

“SLAYER, STAKE HIM!”

Buffy felt wrenching sobs seize her body again and a dull weakness seep into her muscles. It occurred to her that she was no longer fighting. She was being carried. She could smell him. She snuggled close to the familiar scent of cologne-less Spike and drifted into sleep.

Spike gently walked up to their dorm room. He hadn’t seen the Slayer like that…for a long time. He knew the last few weeks had been a blur to him, and he wracked his brain for anything he had noticed about Buffy that could have caused her to act like she had.

He couldn’t remember much about her from the last few weeks.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Buffy?” Spike stood from the book he was reading from and was at her bedside in seconds.

“Spike……Spike…..?”

“I’m here, pet, wake up.”

Buffy groaned at the ache in her muscles. “ Why do I ache?”

 

“An hour of non-stop kicking, and pounding and sobbing will do that to a Slayer.”

Buffy remembered.

<How the bloody hell am I meant to explain this?>

“I’d like an explanation Slayer.”

“You think you deserve one?” She said it before she thought.

“I do. I’d like to hear why you think I don’t.”

“Fuck you, Spike.”

She swallowed and stared anywhere but at him.

 “Fuck you to hell, Spike.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sara knocked lightly on the door. She fiddled with the pen in her fingers and smiled when she realised it was Spike’s.

Buffy opened the door. “Hello? What idiot is daring to knock on the door at….”

 “One PM?” Sara smiled with her answer and Buffy opened her sleepy eyes.

“Oh.”

Sara’s smile faltered when the simple word echoed. Buffy’s eyes flickered pain and hate before being masked. But Sara had seen it.

“I’ll get Spike for you.”

“Gracias.” <Woah…Buffy?...>

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Buffy, you need to tell Spike.”

“Gi--”

“Buffy, for goodness sakes girl, this is not the time to think. You need to face up to it. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“You’re right Giles.”

~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~

It’s tearin’ up my heart when I’m with you
But when we are apart, I feel it too

She ran. The doors seemed to open for her. In reality she ran right through them. The people seemed to step out of her way. In reality she moved them out of her way. The Slayer had the highest level of determination she had ever felt and it threatened to spill before she reached its goal. The Slayer was going to get her vampire.

And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
With or without you

Spike was energised. He had been waiting for this day for the past few weeks. She thought he didn’t realise she was getting annoyed with him, but he did. He knew that he would be forgiven after she found out why. It had just been so clear to him, what he wanted he was going to get. Sure, he was immortal, but he could get staked any day of patrol and she was mortal. He was through being careful, unlife was about risks, going for what you want and getting it. Spike was going to get his girl.

Baby I don't understand just why we can't be lovers
Things are getting out of hand

The whole sexual tension thing just wasn’t working for her anyway. Spike was hers. She was his. As simple as that. The times she wanted to die. Hated her fate. Didn’t want to be the Slayer. The times when he made her live. Lived her fate. Made her proud to be the Slayer. The times he told her that she was the best.

Trying too much but baby we can't win
Let her go; If you want me boy let me know

Buffy ran into the centre of the courtyard and collided with a figure that had been travelling at the same speed as her. She knew it was him before she hit the ground.

“Buffy, you ok?”

She smiled. “Yeah, I’m ok Spike.” She furrowed her eyebrows at his heavy breathing and gleaming, darting eyes. Then she smiled and prepared to let her heart pour out its secrets-

“I love you!”

Buffy froze and then double-checked – no she hadn’t started talking yet… so... Spike had said…

“I love you and you accept me for who I am. I can’t imagine unlife without you and I want to make you mine. Will you marry me?”

Spike looked at her in anticipation.

“Yes.” Buffy managed to choke out. “Oh god, yes. I love you so much.”

Spike grinned. “You think she’ll say that then?”

“Huh?” Buffy shook her head in confusion.

“Sara? Duh. Who did you think I was practicing on you for? Red?”

“What?” Buffy couldn’t understand how horribly wrong it had all gone…

Spike rolled his eyes. “Slayer, you are so dense sometimes. Look, I gotta go, I’m late for Sara and this is a very important occasion. Wish me luck, Slayer. I’m goin’ all poncy.”  With a grin and wink he continued to run. Away.

“SPIKE!”

He slowed and turned on the spot, still jogging. “What is it Slayer?”

Her face showed desperation, it showed need. She had never needed him to read her more than she did right then. For three seconds she let her eyes meet with his and tell him everything.

“What Slayer, I have to go!”

Her insides iced over from that very second. He was so in love…he was blind to her.

“I-uh... I mean…” she smiled and looked down, knowing she couldn’t have held it.
 “You wanted luck right?” she looked up and raised her eyebrows.

- Touch noses

- Bump right shoulders.

- Hold an invisible stake to own heart and stake twice.
- Hug.

She wished that hug could go on forever. But she felt rather than saw him pull away, whisper thank you and run.

She fell to her knees and opened her eyes to stare at an empty courtyard. She watched a stray soda can lying in the grass. Her lip trembled. Her breaths came as chokes.

The Slayer cried for losing a vampire.

I am down on my knees; I can't take it any more

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~**~~**~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~~**~~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

--Of all the things
I've believed in
I just want to
Get it over with--

Buffy growled at the tears falling down her face, thrashing her hand across her cheek in an attempt to stop them. The bag was nearly full and she rapidly glanced round the room for anything that she hadn’t packed. When she was convinced she had packed all she wanted to take she zipped the big sports bag up. Determined to stop her lip shaking, she calmly grabbed the ‘Slayer’ bag full of her stakes and holy water. Without a second glance she left the room with a door-banging echo.

Then 3 minutes later she opened it again.

The Slayer picked up the photo frame that rested on her bedside table. The picture was of her and the blond vampire. She smiled. She opened the drawer a few feet away and picked out a photo album that she shared with Spike. There were pictures of happy days. Spike and Buffy, fighting together, Willow and Spike at the Wicca/vamp meeting where Spike got rid of some of the disadvantages of unlife, Spike in the sun mock-posing disgust at a bloodbag (right after the meeting!), Buffy, Willow and Tara covered in face mud and painting their nails, Dawn, Spike dragging Buffy to the Sunnydale Uni student registration centre, Buffy smiling just outside the centre when she got Spike to join as well, Willow and Spike at the magic shop with Anya harassing a customer, Spike dancing to Madonna’s ‘Vogue’ (the picture had been taken without his knowledge or consent), Anya and Xander when she convinced him to take a short course at the university, Buffy, Anya and Spike eating burgers, Giles and Spike playing chess, Giles and Spike in Oxford from two years ago when Spike visited the former-Watcher, Willow and Giles in the computer lab when Giles visited them, Buffy and Spike seeing the sights of Oxford with Giles, Xander, Willow and Dawn trailing in the background with Anya spewing off historical commentaries and Tara quietly observing everything….

--Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry--

Buffy stifled the tears that wanted to spill. She remembered Oxford well. The blond had loved it. The spires and cobbled streets had warmed her to the city quickly. Spike had known his way round from previous experience and had showed her around.  Dawn had loved it, enjoying the Covered Market and how small the Clarendon Centre was in comparison to a Sunnydale mall.

 

Sunnydale didn’t need a Slayer that desperately. Willow, Tara, Xander, Spike and Anya could handle it without her if she asked Angel to move back or at least commute…Buffy wanted to go back to England. Spend sometime with Giles. That’s where she would go. To Oxford.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

“Yes. Of course, Yes!”

Spike felt his heart soar and with trembling hands, he slipped the ring onto the hand of the beautiful woman in front of him.

Sara smiled and they kissed. And the world faded away. Demons, Evil, Pain…nothing made sense or mattered. And the world seemed right for once.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

“Giles?”

“Buffy! What a surprise…How did…I mean… What…”

“He’s engaged.”

“Oh, my.”

“To Sara.”

“Ye-Yes, Buffy I’m sorry.”

“Giles, I think I’m going to come to Oxford.”

“Yes, I think you need a holiday.”

“No. I mean…I think I’m going to move.”

“Buffy, really--”

“No, Giles, I’ve been thinking and Dawn needs a change just as much as I do. I just want to start new. It’s not just Spike.”

What a lie.

“Buffy…”

“Whatever you say…I’m doing it. I can rent out the house to get myself some money until I can work there. Willow won’t mind checking that the tenants are good guys and…please Giles. I need you.”

“Very well Buffy, How will you tell Spike?”

“I won’t.”

“Surely you want to finish university?”

“It’ll take until graduation to sort out the house and Dawns school. I have enough money to do this…if we could stay with you for just a few weeks…”

“Buffy. You…you and Dawn are like my own children. I understand if you want your independence…but I would love your company here. This is a big house, it needs some more life in it.”

“Thank you Giles. That sounds nice…safe.”

“Is there anything I can do to make it easier for you?”

“I don’t expect you to stop talking to Spike…but I don’t want him to know where I am. I’ll tell the others…but I don’t want him coming to see me…just…please don’t mention where I am…pretend that you don’t know.”

“Are you sure you’re doing the right thing?”

“Yes.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

--Counting the days
That pass me by--

From there, Buffy slowly set about her tasks. Giles was going to come for their graduation and then go back to England with Buffy right after the ceremony. Angel decided to send a crime-fighting couple from LA to stay in Sunnydale. Gunn and Fred.  They would stay at the Summer’s residence and pay rent to Buffy. Angel made sure that no one would mention Buffy’s plan to anyone…ever. One by one, each of Buffy’s friends excepting Spike was informed. Finally, a week before the graduation, Buffy went for her final meeting with Dean Restrepo.

“Ah, hello Buffy, come in.”

“I understand you wanted to see me.”

“Yes, I would like to change the forwarding address on my forms, so that I can still receive leavers-stuff and any offers sent for me.”

“Oh, I didn’t realise you were moving house. A better location in Sunnydale?”

“No, Sir. I’ll be leaving for England after graduation.”

The Dean looked deeply into the woman before him whose eyes were crying tearlessly.

“I have an idea why you are leaving.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“He cares very much for you.”

“I have no resentment for Sara or Spike. It’s just…. Sir….”

The old man sighed. “Sara hasn’t mentioned this.”

“That’s because she doesn’t know. Neither does Spike, and I hope I can trust you not to mention it. I don’t want Spike to know where I am…you know that he is a…”

“Vampire, yes. Sara, William and myself had a long discussion about this…and you are…”

“The Slayer, yes. Well, he can easily find me if he sets out to it. I’ve had Willow do a spell network stopping his demon world sources providing him with information about where I am going…. You are the only other person that needed to know and the only one I need assurance from that you will not tell Spike or Sara or anyone where I am going and when…and why. They don’t know.”

“Buffy, do reconsider…”

“My mind is made, Dean Restrepo.”

“Very Well, Buffy. Where are you going?”

“Oxford, Sir.”

 ………………………………………………………………………………………….

--I've been searching
Deep down in my soul--

Giles smiled proudly as he watched, the children he had watched grow up into adults, gain a university education. William, Buffy, Xander, Willow, Tara…. they all smiled…happiness they had not felt for a long time shining through.

The Watcher frowned slightly as Spike kissed Sara…since the others had been told of Buffy’s feelings…they all looked uncomfortable to say the least.

Once the ceremony was over, Giles joined the graduates near the food tables.

“Giles!”

“G-man!”

“You don’t want the shop do you?”

“Watcher!”

“Hello.”

Everyone fell silent when they heard Sara’s word of greeting. Spike visibly shone and pulled his fiancée forward.

“Rupert, meet my fiancée, Sara.”

Giles took in the girl’s nervous expression and hopeful eyes. He could see that she loved Spike very much and wanted to be accepted by the man Spike looked up to as a father.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Sara.”

And with that the talking began again. Spike had recently begun to see the Watcher as almost a role-model figure and having his acceptance was very important.

“When are you going back to England, mate?”

“I shall be taking a flight in two hours actually.”

“That reminds me Spike,” Buffy jumped in animatedly, “You won’t be able to see him off, you and Sara have to stay here for the Dean’s speech!”

…………………………………………………………………………………………

Dawn smiled at another memory that flooded into her mind. The house was bare of Summer’s memorabilia now, only furniture remained since everything was at this moment on its way to England.

“When will our stuff get to Giles’ house?” Dawn asked.

“Well, we should get to Heathrow airport at about 7pm, UK time and then Giles says it takes about an hour to get to Oxford by bus, from there, we get his car from where he parked it – ready for us – and it should only take 15 or so minutes to get to his house…hopefully we’ll be there by 8:30pm, provided nothing bad happens…that means we can call for our stuff and have it there in two hours…they’ll probably leave it till early the next morning I guess.”

Dawn nodded and sighed at all she was leaving behind. A part of her would miss Sunnydale, this house…but a large part of her needed this...cleansing…going to a new place…trying to start with a fresh slate. Buffy would still have to be the Slayer, but her duties would be a lot lighter and maybe their lives would be semi-normal.

Giles entered the room and cleared his throat. “Buffy, Dawn, Xander’s here to take us to the airport. It’s time to go.”

Buffy nodded and stood, reaching her hand out to Dawn. They held hands and picked up their hand luggage. Stopping only to smile at the house for a moment, Buffy closed the door on Sunnydale and walked into the sunlight with Dawn.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

--Words that I'm hearing
Are starting to get old---

“I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“I’m gonna miss you too.”

“I’ll just be calling you like everyDAY!”

“Watch the phone bill!”

“I am going to miss you more than anything!”

~~~“This is an announcement for passengers flying to Chicago on BA459. Boarding will begin in 45 minutes. Until then, feel free to wait at Gate 16.”~~~

The gang were at Gate 16, since Buffy, Dawn and Giles had planned to catch another plane at Chicago to get to London – in case Spike checked. Xander, Anya, Willow, Tara, Angel and even Cordelia were all present, each talking privately with the departers.

Buffy took Angel aside for a moment.

“Here, these are the keys and papers that Gunn and Fred will need for the house.”

“I’ll make sure they get them.”

“Thank you.”

They were silent for a moment and then Angel did something unexpected, he lifted Buffy’s wrist to his mouth and bit into it. Buffy was startled at the gesture but was even more surprised that Angel seemed to be giving her blood instead of taking it. Suddenly an aching sadness settled over her heart and she felt more lifeless than she had been feeling. “An-Angel…what did you…do?”

“I’m giving you a few moments of what Spike will feel forever if you leave without any explanation.”

“He won’t feel this, Angel. He is too happy…”

“He does love you Buffy, he cares about you. That hasn’t all disappeared.”

“I know Angel, maybe I’ll call him or something…he will forget, eventually.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………

While they talked, Giles was also whispering to Willow.

“Could you telephone Spike and let him know, he could still get here in time.”

“Giles…Buffy doesn’t want…”

“He won’t know where she is going…but he will at least see her knowing it will be the last time he will do so.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………

Spike smiled before pulling aside to answer his phone.

“Spike here, the one and only, fiancée bearing, kick-ass vamp around.”

“Spike, I need you to come to the airport right now.”

“What? Why, Red?”

“Buffy’s moving away Spike, she didn’t want to tell you, she doesn’t know I’m calling…but I think you should come and say goodbye…”

…………………………………………………………………………………………

--It feels like
I'm starting all over again--

~~~ “Boarding seat 23 through to 34 please. Passengers please go to the nearest boarding door.”~~~

“That’s not us just yet.” Giles whispered.

“Oh, Buffy, I wish you weren’t leaving.” Willow sighed.

“Me too.” Spike’s voice seemed to echo as Buffy’s eyes widened almost comically had the situation not been so sombre.

“Spike…”

“Slayer.”

Everyone stepped away, Sara having come with Spike, also slid away, leaving the two friends together.

“What’s happened, Slayer? One day I’m the happiest bloke on this bleedin’ globe and now you’re leaving me. Why are you leaving me, pet?”

Buffy’s heart started aching painfully and silent tears began to shed.

“I have to do this Spike and I can’t tell you why, it’s better this way.”

--The last three years
Were just pretend--

Spike didn’t understand how things had changed so suddenly. It was insane…they had been together for so long, shared everything and now at the most important point in his unlife…she was leaving. All those years, slowly bringing her back to life, slowly becoming friends, slowly becoming soul mates. Life had been harsh and cruel but good, good because they had each other. And she was leaving. It was insane. He just didn’t understand.

“Where are you going, pet?”

“I can’t tell you that Spike…I don’t want you to try and find me.”

Spike’s head shot up and he grabbed Buffy’s shoulders. His eyes glowed golden and he forced down his urge to vamp out.

“So, this is meant to be it, FOREVER, Slayer?”

--And I said
Goodbye to you--

“Yes.”

The simple word shattered Spike’s being to his core. She was serious. All the years they had spent together, the memories assaulted his mind viciously as he fought to understand that he would never see her again.

--Goodbye to everything
I thought I knew--

The whole world seemed to tilt, everything she had understood and her simple routines were all meaningless, shattered and unimportant. But it had to be done. That was simply the way.

~~~ “Would all the remaining passengers for BA459 please board now.”~~~

“That’s me.”

“Don’t go.” Spike pleaded, his voice pitiful.

“Goodbye, Spike.”

- Touch noses

- Bump right shoulders.

- Hold an invisible stake to own heart and stake twice.
- Hug.

“I love you.” Buffy whispered into his shoulder.

“I love you too, Slayer.”

She felt his tears on her shoulder and she pulled back from the hug. Walking towards Sara, Buffy pulled out a box.

“I’ll be missing the wedding, so I figured I should give you something now. It’s not anything…but it’s yours. Look after it.”

Sara smiled, and then frowned slightly. There was something, not quite right about the Slayer. And then. She knew. Buffy was in love with Spike.

“Goodbye, Buffy. I promise to look after him.”

The blonde nodded and again faced Spike. “Bye, Blondie.”

Mute, the vampire could do little, he protested, pulling her away from the gate, refusing to let her leave.

“I’m leaving Spike.”

“NO!”

Buffy hit him across the face and ran towards the boarding door. “Angel, take care of him, please.” She called back as she joined Giles and Dawn.

Angel held Spike back from stopping Buffy, but he could not stop Spike yelling one final sentiment.

“SLAYER!”

Buffy paused but did not turn to face him.

“You’re my sunlight, pet. Don’t go.”

“Goodbye, Spike.” she choked out, tears falling freely now. Silently, she waved to the Scoobies and walked onto the plane.

--You were the one I loved
The one thing that
I tried to hold on to--