Chapter 12 – Making Up

“Rise and shine, sleepyhead!” Spike called with a smile, throwing a pillow
at Buffy’s sleeping form.

Buffy moaned, saying something unrecognizable while curling into a ball.
Spike walked over to her window, throwing the curtains back and letting the
sunlight stream in. Buffy burrowed under her covers, throwing muffled
insults his way as she tried to get back to sleep.

“Oh, don’t be like that,” Spike said, falling onto the bed and waiting for
any sign of life from her small body. When none came, a wicked grin spread
over his face before his fingers mercilessly tickled her ribs. Buffy
screeched, practically leaping out of the bed as she tried to get away from
the assault.

“Stop!” she screamed, her plea not as effective through all the giggles that
were erupting from her. “Spike, please stop!” she begged, writhing on the
bed as Spike pinned her down and laughed with her.

Buffy pouted, breathing heavily when he finally stopped. Looking into his
cobalt eyes, she gave him a pout as he chuckled at her. “That wasn’t a very
nice way to wake up.”

“I tried to do it the nice way…you made me result to drastic measures,”
Spike replied, resisting the urge to kiss her pouty lip as he climbed off of
her. “Besides, you seemed to enjoy it.”

“Why are you waking me up so early, anyway?” Buffy asked, throwing a glare
his way as she began rubbing her eyes.

“I’m taking you shopping,” Spike announced.

Buffy’s eyes widened. “You’re serious? You have been shopping with me,
right?”

“Yes.”

“So, you do know what that entails?”

“Yes,” Spike answered again with a smile. “I felt bad for making you worry
last night. This is my peace offering. Take it or leave it.”

“Oooh, peace offering most definitely accepted,” Buffy replied, crawling out
of bed and running to her closet. Spike watched as she gave an excited
little hop, her blonde hair shimmering in the sunlight.

“I’ll let you get ready, pet,” Spike said, heading for the stairs.

“Okay,” Buffy replied. “Give me an hour.”

* * * * *

Two hours later, Spike and Buffy walked into the mall as Spike was debating
just what he’d gotten himself into.

‘Maybe I should have made a different peace offering,’ he thought. ‘Ice
cream and flowers probably would have worked just as well…too late now. On
the plus side, maybe she’ll make another trip to Victoria’s Secret.’

Spike had to shake his head to clear himself of that vision. He knew he
wouldn’t be able to take advantage of that situation again. Although, it
would be very hard to walk away from, but things were different now. The
consequences would be much higher.

“Where to first, pet?”

“I feel like doing something fun,” Buffy replied, grabbing his hand in hers.
“What about the pet store? I love looking at all the cute little
puppies.”

“Off to the pet store, then,” Spike said, dropping her hand. He saw the
confused look on her face, but it quickly disappeared when he wrapped his
arm around her waist.

They stopped outside the pet store, looking at the little bunny rabbits that
were hopping around in the window display. Buffy moved in front of him
slowly so as not to dislodge his hand from her waist. Spike smiled,
wrapping both arms around her waist and letting his chin drop to the top of
her head as she cooed over the little fluffballs.

“Excuse me.”

Buffy and Spike both turned at the soft voice and smiled at the elderly
woman who was standing beside them.

“I just wanted to tell you that you two make such an attractive couple,”
she said with a sweet smile.

Spike felt his stomach clench, wanting that to be a fact and not just an
observation. He was about to tell her that they weren’t together when
Buffy jumped in.

“Thank you,” she said warmly as the woman walked into the shop.

Spike let his chin fall to her shoulder. “What was that, pet?”

Buffy shrugged, effectively jostling Spike, but he stayed where he was.
“Why disappoint her when she went out of her way to give us a compliment?”

“You’re wonderful, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told,” she said with a giggle as Spike lightly tickled her
stomach for a moment.

“You want to go in there, or are we going to look through the window all
day?”

“We’ll go,” Buffy replied. “But you do know I’ll want to buy every puppy
and kitten in there, right?”

“I think I’ll be able to live with that.”

* * * * *

Forty-five minutes later, Spike was practically dragging a very reluctant
Buffy from the store. “They’re so cute,” Buffy said with a sad face. “I
wish we could take them all home.”

“I know,” Spike said softly, holding her hand as they walked toward the
center of the mall. “Chin up, luv, and I’ll buy you a milkshake.”

“Okay,” Buffy said with a sigh.

“Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for.”

Buffy shot Spike a sheepish smile. “Sorry, a milkshake would be great.”

Five minutes later, both sat down at one of the tables in the food-court,
sipping their drinks. “What about him?” Buffy asked, tilting her head as
she made casual conversation.

“What about…who?”

“That guy,” Buffy said, discreetly gesturing to a man walking down one of
the corridors. “Hotness factor on a scale of one to ten…what do you give
him?”

Spike restrained himself from banging his head against the table as he
looked at the man. ‘Is this really happening? It’s gotten to the point
where I’m checking out other blokes with her?’

“I’m really not good with the rating system, pet.”

“Oh, come on. You have eyes,” she said, her own eyes following the man as
he walked. “Okay, forget the ratings system…would you do him?”

“Oh dear God,” Spike mumbled under his breath, nervously licking his lips.

Buffy turned her attention back to Spike. “What did you say?”

“Seven,” Spike replied, feeling his masculinity draining out of him. “I’d
give him a seven.”
* * * * *
Buffy let them into the apartment after a productive day of shopping. Spike followed her in, trudging under the weight of her purchases he was carrying.
“Thanks for taking me out shopping,” she smiled at him, taking everything out of his hands with ease.

“You’re welcome,” he replied, amazed at how strong she really was.

‘Does she work out or something?’ he asked himself. ‘I mean, between helping me move in my furniture and carrying all of that stuff, she’s got to be a tough cookie.’ He smiled. ‘I love it.’

“So, what are the plans for the rest of the day?” she asked, her tone hopeful. “Cooking for me? Groveling?”

“Aren’t I already forgiven?” he asked, pouting. She smiled brightly at him and took everything upstairs to her room. He smiled and checked his voicemail messages on his cell phone, getting one from Xander. He listened to it and called his friend back.

“Hey, Spike,” Xander said. “Anya’s working all day, and I was wondering if you wanted to come over. Maybe watch a game, drink a few beers, pack in some food that’s not healthy in the slightest?” Spike laughed.

“Yeah, I should be able to spare a couple of hours,” he answered. “I’ll be over soon.” He hung up and smirked.

“You’re leaving?” Buffy asked, descending the stairs, looking at him. He frowned and looked back at her.

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “Xander invited me over, so I figured I’d go over there for a bit. Is that okay?” She nodded sadly, looking down. He walked over to her and kissed her forehead lightly. “Then I’ll come back and make you dinner. Deal?” She looked at him and smiled.

“Sounds good,” she replied. “Have a good time. Say hi to him for me.” He nodded and grabbed his keys, walking out the door.

She sighed and sat on the couch.

‘What to do now?’

* * * * *

Not even twenty minutes passed, and Buffy was bored out of her mind. She even resorted to finding a small rubber ball and bouncing it around in the kitchen while reading through a magazine. She came across a picture of an overly thin model in next to nothing and narrowed her eyes.

‘Do they enjoy looking like flesh-colored bones?’ she thought, getting angry and putting more impact into bouncing the ball. She frowned as she watched it ricochet off the walls in the hallway before disappearing in Spike’s room. She mumbled a swear and went to track it down, not spotting it anywhere on the floor of his bedroom.

‘Maybe it rolled under his bed.’

She lay down on her stomach and pushed the covers that were hanging over the edge away to see if she could find it.

‘Jackpot.’

It was sitting right in front of a stack of notebooks. Buffy raised an eyebrow, surprised that the notebooks were the only thing he’d stored under there. She retrieved the ball and looked at the notebooks.

‘I can’t look at them. I mean, if he hid them here, they must be important.’ She paused. ‘Or full of juicy information. Okay, that’s probably wishful thinking. But I can’t look. It would be wrong.’

Her hands moved of their own volition, bringing the stack out from under the bed. ‘Bad Buffy. Since when are you so nosy?’

She shrugged and sat on top of his bed, looking at them, trying to decide whether she should look or not. ‘Well, maybe just take a peek. That won’t hurt anything.’

She took a deep breath and opened up the top notebook, looking at the first page. ‘It’s a poem.’ She read through it and raised an eyebrow. ‘It’s beautifully written. And it’s about a girl.’ She flipped through more pages, reading them. ‘Still about a girl.’ She found herself going through every poem, finding that each one was always about some girl that he admired. ‘What the hell?’ She moved on to the next notebook, diligent to figure out what was going on.

An hour passed, and the notebooks were scattered around her, her looking at the fourth one from the pile. After reading the last page, she laid back on a pillow, staring at the notebooks all around her. ‘He must’ve been in love with a girl before he decided he was gay. Maybe she broke his heart, and he chose men over women.’ She frowned sadly. ‘If I ever meet her, I’ll kill her myself.’

* * * * *

When Spike came home from Xander’s, he didn’t see Buffy downstairs. He wandered up the stairs and frowned when he didn’t see her there either, but he figured maybe she’d gone out for a bit. He slowly walked toward his room and saw her on his bed, his private collection of notebooks surrounding her. His heart seized in his chest, and he felt his face paling.

‘How did she find those?’ he thought, panicking. ‘What…how…did she read them?’

“Buffy?” he asked, looking at her. She looked at him, the guilt clearly evident in her eyes. “What’re you doing?”

She got off the bed quickly and looked down, not wanting to look at his eyes.

“I…you’re not going to believe me,” she said quietly, realizing how stupid her alibi really was.

‘Sad part is, it’s completely true. And if you were smart, you wouldn’t have even touched the notebooks in the first place.’

“Why don’t you try explaining it to me?” he asked, trying not to sound too angry and failing miserably.

“Well, I was playing with a rubber ball,” she said, holding it in the palm of her hand as her proof. “And I wasn’t paying attention to where I was throwing it, and it kind of…got away from me.”

“And how does that lead to you looking at my personal belongings?” he asked, crossing his arms, his eyes narrowed.

“It rolled under your bed, and I went to get it back, and that’s when I came across them,” she said, shutting her eyes.

‘There’s no way you can explain the rest of the story. You won’t get away with it.’

“And you just decided to whip them out and read through them?” he asked, not bothering to mask how disappointed he was.

“Yes,” she admitted, feeling incredibly stupid. “I’m so sorry, Spike. I should never have brought them out. You had them hidden away, and they weren’t for my eyes to see.” He nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. “I am really sorry though.” She finally looked at him, and he saw the tears forming in her eyes. His anger dissipated almost instantly, and he came forward to hug her.

“It’s okay,” he said, enjoying the feel of her face burying itself against his chest. “I forgive you.”

“You do?” she asked, surprised, looking at him again. He nodded and ran his hand over her hair.

“But just this once,” he replied, winking at her. She managed a smile and watched as he grabbed the notebooks.

She walked away preparing to leave the room, but turned back when she got to the doorway.

“Spike?” she asked, waiting until he looked at her. “They’re really quite good.” She turned, leaving the room as Spike smiled.

'I can't say I believe she likes my witless prattle. But there's no way she knows who they are about.'

Chapter 13 – Comfort


Two days later, Buffy walked through the door, holding back her sobs as she
slammed it and walked across the apartment. Sinking down onto the couch,
Buffy buried her head in the cushions as the tears fell.

Spike walked out of his room, running a hand through his hair, still wet
from the shower. He thought he’d heard the door, and walking into the main
room, his eyes widened as he saw Buffy on the couch, her tiny body shaking
with silent sobs.

Spike ran over to her, dropping to his knees in front of her. “Buffy, luv,
what’s wrong? What happened?”

Buffy raised her tear-streaked face to Spike, throwing herself into his arms
as fresh sobs wracked her body.

“Sweetheart, you’re scaring me,” Spike murmured, his stomach in knots as he
held onto her, smoothing her hair.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered in a choked voice.

“What happened?” Spike asked, dreading the answer.

“Angel,” Buffy whispered, clutching at his shirt as Spike leaned back to
look at her.

“What did he do?” Spike growled.

Buffy took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself as she held onto
him. “I-I went over there…I wanted to surprise him, and he was…”

Spike closed his eyes, already knowing the end to this story. “Another
woman?” he whispered, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Buffy nodded as fresh tears streaked down her face.

“I’m sorry, luv.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. Spike
carefully lifted her into his arms, turning around to sit down on the couch
as Buffy burrowed into him, seeking the comfort he provided.

Spike murmured gentle reassurances to her, his hands never stopping their
movements through her hair.

“Is there something wrong with me, Spike?” Buffy asked softly. “Something
that makes guys want to run away from me?”

“No, baby,” he whispered as she pulled back to look at him, feeling the need
to go and beat the piss out of Angel. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong
with you…any man is a fool not to see that.”

Buffy sniffled, looking down as she tried to catch her breath. “Then why
does it feel like my fault?” she whispered.

“Why don’t you tell me?” he asked gently.

“Because I never slept with him,” she murmured, looking at her hands.

Spike felt like cheering, but under the circumstances, settled on a gentle
smile. “Buffy, no one should decide to stay with you just because you slept
together. That’s not fair to you, pet. You’re better than that,” he
whispered, playing with her hair. “I just know that Angel is a bloody ponce
for taking you for granted.”

“Thank you,” Buffy whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

Spike stared hungrily at her lips as they pulled away from each other
before looking into her eyes, almost asking permission. Buffy looked at him
nervously as she leaned forward again, lightly pressing her lips to his as
his hands slowly wrapped around her body, pulling her closer to him as she
straddled his lap.

Spike moaned as she deepened the kiss, lightly grinding herself against his
growing erection. Pulling away from each other, their eyes met as Spike
suddenly realized what they were doing.

“We can still stop, Buffy,” he murmured.

Buffy looked into his eyes. “This is crazy, isn’t it?” she asked softly, her
hands running over his chest as she held her breath for his answer.

“It is,” Spike agreed. “And after what I’ve just told you…”

“I know you would never take advantage of me, Spike,” she whispered, looking
to him for confirmation.

Spike leaned forward, brushing light kisses along her shoulder. “No, luv…I
would never take advantage of you. Do you want to do this?”

Buffy didn’t answer as she stood up, pulling him to his feet and kissing him
again. Spike closed his eyes, relishing the feel of her lips against his as
their hands worked on each other’s clothes, trying to pull them off as
quickly as possible.

When both were undressed, Spike felt his breath catch as Buffy blushed under
his gaze. “You’re beautiful,” he said softly, leaving kisses along her jaw.
“Exquisite.”

Buffy arched her back against his body as Spike sat down on the couch,
pulling her on top of him again. Their eyes met in understanding as Buffy
slowly rose up, positioning him at her entrance, before sinking down onto
him.

Spike’s eyes widened as they looked at each other, his breath coming in
gasps at the feel of her surrounding him. Buffy briefly closed her eyes,
reopening them and biting her lip as she began to slowly move on top of him.

Spike could see and feel her hesitancy as he leaned forward, meeting her
lips with his as his hands wandered along the curves of her body, slowly
coming up to cup her breasts. He smiled against her lips at the breathy
moans she was giving him. He could feel the change in her attitude, and it
was his turn to moan as she began moving against him with more confidence.

Spike clenched his jaw as his hands traveled to her hips, controlling her
movements so he wouldn’t come too soon. His head fell to her shoulder as
she moved with him.

“I’ve dreamed about this,” she whispered, running her hands through his
hair, her words alone nearly sending Spike over the edge. “I’ve wanted
you for so long.”

“I’ve wanted you, too, pet,” he rasped, closing his eyes in pleasure.
“Needed you…every bloody minute since I met you.”

Buffy vaguely heard his words, but didn’t have time to think about them when she feltl herself begin to lose control as she moved at a more furious pace. “Oh God, Spike,” she moaned as he wrapped his arms around
her.

Their lips met in a passionate kiss. Buffy broke away after a moment,
screaming out her climax as she moved on top of him, losing all of her
inhibitions as she rode wave after wave of ecstasy.

Her scream sent Spike pulsing inside of her, calling out her name as they
continued to move together, both riding out the bliss.

As reality began to come back to them, Spike felt an overwhelming sense of
guilt. ‘You should have told her,’ he thought, inwardly kicking himself.
‘It’s not fair that she doesn’t know.’

Buffy’s eyes widened as she caught her breath. “Spike-“

Spike placed a finger over her lips as they separated from each other, both
still craving the contact the other had provided. “Don’t think,” he
murmured, pulling her close to him as they lay down on the couch together.
“Don’t worry about anything. We’ll work everything out.”

Buffy relaxed, cuddling close to him as her eyes drifted closed in
exhaustion.

* * * * *

Buffy’s eyes slowly opened the next morning, frowning slightly when she
encountered a muscular chest in her line of vision. Her eyes widened as she
sat up, the previous night's activities coming crashing back to her as she
took in their naked bodies.

At some point, Spike must have covered them with a blanket. Buffy grabbed
it, wrapping it around her body as she began to gather her clothes. “Oh my
God,” she said, trying to hold her tears back. She realized that her
weakness had probably ruined the best friendship she had ever had.

Spike stirred slightly, opening his eyes and smiling when he saw Buffy. The
smile immediately disappeared when he saw that she was rapidly trying to
find her clothes.

“What’s wrong, pet?”

Buffy’s eyes snapped up to him before turning away with a blush at his
naked form. Spike smiled, but sat up anyway, quickly pulling on his jeans before
walking over to her.

“What’s wrong?” he asked again.

“I’m sorry, Spike,” Buffy whispered, biting her lip against the tears. “I
never meant to take it that far, and I’ve probably really messed this up
and-“

“Buffy! You haven’t messed up anything,” Spike said, wanting to take her in
his arms but settling on grabbing her hand.

“How can you say that?” Buffy asked. “I just slept with a man who I had
written off as being my number one off-limits guy and-“

“Buffy,” Spike said softly, closing his eyes before opening them to stare
into Buffy’s. “I’m not gay.”

Chapter 14 – Setting it Straight


Buffy looked at him, tilting her head and raising an eyebrow before slightly smiling. “Ha ha, very funny,” she said. “Thanks for trying to make me feel better about this, but-”

“Buffy, listen to me,” Spike said, putting his hands on her shoulders and locking eyes with hers. “I’m not gay.” Her smile fell, and she took a step back from him, her eyes never leaving his.

“What?” she asked, her tone suddenly becoming both serious and confused. “What do you mean you’re not gay?”

Spike looked down, ashamed. She stood straighter, her eyes widening. “But that woman said…you said…the poetry, the shopping- oh god, the shopping! You were in the dressing room! And Victoria’s Secret…oh my god!”

She covered her face in her hands, finally letting tears fall. Spike moved closer to her to try to hug her, but she pushed him back, her eyes filled with fire. “Don’t you dare touch me! How could you? You lied to me, Spike! Why would you lie to me?” He watched tears roll down her cheeks and felt horrible.

‘Yeah, mate, why did you keep up the charade?’ he asked himself, running a hand through his hair.

“You were so comfortable with me when you thought I was gay,” he said sadly. “I liked the way we were together, and I…I couldn’t bring myself to tell you.” He paused. “And now I really wish I would’ve.”

“Get out,” she said sharply, crossing her arms. He looked at her, stunned. “Get out!” He pulled on his shirt and slid on his boots before leaving quickly, going down the hall and knocking on a familiar door.

“Spike?” Andrew asked, shocked. Spike looked at him, and Andrew could tell something was wrong. He let him in and shut the door behind him. “What happened?”

“I buggered up everything,” Spike muttered, sitting down on the couch and burying his face in his hands.

* * * * *

Buffy lay down on her bed, sobbing into her pillow.

‘How could he lie to me?’ she asked herself. ‘Why would he do that? I trusted him. Completely. I can’t believe Spike would do something like that. This isn’t real. This isn’t happening.’ She pinched herself.

“Oww!” she said, looking at the red spot forming on her arm. “It is real. He lied to me, and this is all real.” She heard a knock on the door and hesitated before getting up.

‘If it’s him, I’ll kick his ass,’ she thought, heading down the stairs and opening the door, surprised.
“Xander?” she asked, looking at him. He smiled at her and frowned when he noticed her red eyes and tear tracks down her cheeks.

“Buffy, is everything all right?” he asked quietly. She shook her head and broke down crying again. He hugged her, genuinely worried. “What happened?”

“Spike,” she said, backing away a little to wipe off her cheeks. “I’m so sorry- your shirt is all splotchy now.” Xander looked at it and shrugged, managing a smile.

“It’ll dry,” he said before turning his attention back to her. “What happened with Spike?”

“He lied to me,” she replied, looking at him. “And so did you, for that matter! You both said he was gay!” Xander felt guilt flood him.

‘So the bleached wonder finally told her the truth. Explains why he’s not around,’ he thought.

“Buffy, let me explain,” he said, ushering her to the couch to sit down while crouching in front of her. “Spike is a good man, and yeah, he may have pulled off an elaborate lie behind your back, but I know he cares about you. I don’t know why he didn’t tell you right away, but he adores you, and I know he never wanted to hurt you.” She looked at him, seeing how sincere he seemed.

“I don’t know where he is,” she said, looking down at her lap. “I told him to leave, and he did, and I don’t know where he went.” He sighed and pulled out his cell phone. “Xander?” He looked at her. “Why do you think he lied to me?”

“Because he likes you and didn’t have the balls to say it,” Xander said, smiling softly. She looked at him. “He’s liked you ever since he first saw you. From day one, it’s been Buffy this and Buffy that. At least you’re a good woman. Not like Drusilla was.” Her eyes widened.

“Drusilla?” she asked, her mind spinning. “Did Spike call her a nickname?”

“Yeah, Dru,” he replied, confused. “Why?” She looked down.

‘And that was your own fault, Summers,’ she thought. ‘Dru is a girl, not a guy. Damn it.’

“Can you call him?” she asked hesitantly. He nodded and dialed the number.

‘What do I even say to him?’ she thought, running her hands through her hair.

* * * * *

Spike’s cell phone rang in his pocket, and he pulled it out, looking at the Caller ID. “Sorry, Andrew, I’ve got to take this call.” Andrew waved it off as Spike answered it. “Hey, Xander. What’s up?”

“Where are you, man?” Xander asked. “Buffy told me you left.” Spike raised an eyebrow.

“Buffy? You talked to her?” he asked, standing up quickly. “Where are you, mate?”

“Answer me first,” Xander said, a hint of mischief in his tone.

“Not bloody funny,” Spike said sharply. “Did she call you? Why were you talking to Buffy?”

“Because I’m in your apartment with her,” Xander replied. Spike froze. “So, I repeat, where are you?”

"Down the hall," Spike answered, looking at Andrew, who smiled back at him. "I'll be right there." He hung up and headed to the door. "Sorry to cut this short."

"Go get the girl, Spike," Andrew said, watching Spike leave and go into his apartment. Andrew sighed dreamily and smiled as he shut the door.

* * * * *

Buffy jumped at the soft knock on the door, not because it scared her, but
because she knew who was on the other side of the door. Xander walked over
to answer it, giving his friend a compassionate look before turning to
Buffy.

“I’ll leave you two alone.”

Buffy didn’t say anything as she and Spike stared at each other, her small
arms wrapped around her body in a comforting gesture. Spike took a step
forward, but Buffy merely took a step back as he reached out to her.

“Buffy, I’m-“

“Why’d you let it go on so long?” she whispered.

“I don’t know,” he said softly. “Why didn’t you ever ask me?”

“Why didn’t I ask…”

Buffy trailed off in surprise as she looked at him.

“My God, Spike, when you tell me your ex is Dru, what am I supposed to
think? When you have your friend pose as your boyfriend- and don’t think we
won’t be talking about that one later,” she said, pointing at him. “I mean,
for crying out loud, you have a job where you dress up like one of the
Village People, and you think I needed more clarity? Maybe I should have
asked you, but you had plenty of opportunities to come clean.”

“I have,” Spike murmured. “And I never meant for things to go that far…at
least, not without you knowing the truth.”

Spike took a hesitant step forward as Buffy worried her lower lip, looking
at the floor.

“Buffy, I would never hurt you.”

“You already did,” she said softly, shaking her head as she battled fresh
tears. “How am I supposed to trust you again?”

Although the context of the question wasn’t in the best form, Spike couldn’t
help the small amount of relief at the idea that she might try and trust him
again. Maybe all wasn’t lost yet.

“Have you lied about anything else?” she asked softly. “Now would be the
time to tell me.”

Spike quickly shook his head. “That’s the only thing,” he said quietly as
he walked toward her. “The name’s William, I love having movie nights with
my roommate, I really do hate that ponce you were dating, Andrew’s really
not my type, I AM terrified of your driving, and I like writing poetry,” he
murmured, wrapping his arms around her waist. “About you.”

Buffy’s eyes snapped up to his at the confession. “Me?”

Spike nodded, a soft smile playing on his lips. “I’ve never felt this way
about anyone, Buffy. When I thought I’d lost you…have I lost you?” he asked
in a strained voice.

Buffy shook her head, attempting to clear it. “Can I have some time?” she
asked softly, looking into his eyes.

Spike felt fear rip through his chest but nodded, dropping his arms from
her waist as he walked to the door.

“Spike.”

Spike turned at the sound of his name.

“No matter what happens…I want you as my friend.”

Spike gave her a gentle smile. “I’ve wanted you from day one, Buffy. If
you’re willing to give me anything, that’s fine with me.”

Buffy watched as he walked out of the apartment. “I’ve wanted you, too,”
she whispered.

Chapter 15 – Bribery Will Get You…


Spike sat in his car, resting his head on the steering wheel, as he took deep breaths.

‘She’s giving me another chance. I owe her for that,’ he thought to himself, his mind reeling with thoughts. ‘I owe her for hurting her so bad.’ He sighed. ‘But how do I pay her back for the damage I’ve caused her already?’ He started the car and began driving aimlessly through town. ‘Well, I have a feeling flowers alone won’t do the trick…maybe chocolate?’

“No, you owe her big time, mate,” he said out loud. “But what should I give her?”

He came up with an idea and pulled his car over in front of the art gallery.

‘Well, I could buy her art, yes,’ he thought, not disliking the idea too much. ‘It is her major, after all.’ He frowned. ‘Is there a price minimum on forgiveness gifts after you’ve lied to a girl since you met her? Because I’m thinking everything in there is going to be expensive. Not that Buffy’s isn’t worth it, but I don’t have an extra grand sitting around.’ He pulled out his cell phone and called Xander’s apartment. His girlfriend Anya answered. ‘This’ll work.’

“Hey, Anya,” Spike said. “If Xander lied to you about something big, and he wanted to repay you, what would you want?”

“Lots of orgasms,” she answered bluntly. “What is he lying to me about?” Spike smiled slightly.

“He’s not lying to you,” Spike replied. “Thanks, luv.” He hung up the phone and looked around town.

‘Not that I’m against the orgasms idea, but I don’t think Buffy would jump for that right now,’ he thought. ‘Well, maybe.’ He smirked and quickly dismissed the thought. ‘Come on, Spike, what does she like? What would make her smile?’ He suddenly came up with the perfect gift and drove to the mall.

* * * * *

After taking a shower and eating something, Buffy decided to try to take her mind off of things by watching TV. She failed miserably, instantly being bombarded by thoughts.

‘I know he screwed up, but I don’t think he’s a bad man,’ she thought. ‘At least he didn’t cheat on me.’ She frowned. ‘Why am I always attracted to liars and cheaters? Do I have some sick obsession of being drawn to the ones who will hurt me?’ She ran her hands through her hair before resting her head on the back of the couch. ‘He seemed genuinely sorry. And he did agree to being my friend, so that’s good I guess. But how can we be just friends after what we’ve been through, what we’ve done together?’ She sighed. ‘And why did he leave? I could’ve still talked some of this stuff out.’ Her mind popped back to something he had said.

“The poetry,” she said quietly, her eyes widening. She jumped up and went to his room, laying on her stomach beside the bed and retrieving the notebooks he kept there. She sat on his bed again and decided to re-read them, thinking that she’d gain more of an understanding about how he really felt about her. Plus, knowing the words he had written were about her made her want to be reminded of them and how she felt reading them. She smiled, looking at the first poem she opened to. “He wrote about me.”

She had been reading for at least half an hour when she heard the door open. She got up and shoved the notebooks under the bed again, hoping he wouldn’t find out about her reading them this time.

“Spike?” she asked, walking out of his room, praying he wouldn’t see her exiting it.

‘I’ll just say I was in the bathroom,’ she thought. ‘Right, not looking at his private collection of poetry. But he said they were about me- what girl wouldn’t go snooping to look at something about her?’ She went down the hallway and saw Spike in the doorway and something in his arms with a ribbon on it.

“Oh my god,” she said quietly, her hand going up to cover her mouth in shock. “You bought me a puppy.” He grinned proudly at her and looked down at the chocolate Labrador with the red bow on it.

“Do you like it?” Spike asked hesitantly when he noticed the look in her eyes.

‘She hates it,’ he thought sadly. ‘She likes dogs, doesn’t she? Maybe she doesn’t like the idea of living with one. And I guess it’s kind of a commitment to raise one. It’s like a child. Our child.’ He withheld a smirk at the thought. ‘But I can’t return him. I’ve already grown fond of the little pup.’

“It’s…it’s darling,” she said, finally smiling and approaching him. He smiled and held it out to her. She took it from him and cradled it in her arms. “He’s so tiny and cute!”

‘She looks so happy. Maybe she’s not so against the idea of us raising a puppy together.’

“So you like it, luv? You won’t make me give it back?” Spike asked. She looked at him with wide eyes and shook her head vehemently.

“You’re not taking it away from me,” she replied, looking down at the dog and smiling again. “I love it.” She giggled. “We’ve got to name it! What should we name it?” She paused. “Is it a boy or a girl?”

“It’s a girl,” he replied, petting its head softly, smiling. “The only female chocolate lab puppy at the store, to be exact. I figured since you like chocolate, I’d get you one like this.” She smiled at him and looked at the puppy, noticing how happy it looked.

“Well, can’t name it Spike,” she grinned. Spike growled slightly at her, and she looked at him. “Would be kind of funny, though.”

“Are you implying that I’m a dog?” he asked, managing a smirk. She giggled and looked at the dog.

"If it's a girl, I'm not naming her Spike," she said, looking at the dog's
brown eyes. "Hmm, what should we name you, little one?" Then it came to her.
“What about Sunshine?”

“Sunshine,” Spike repeated, looking at the puppy. “It’s perfect, luv,” he
said with a smile. His smile slowly faded as he stared at Buffy, seeing how
happy she was. “Am I forgiven?” he asked hesitantly.

Buffy looked at the tiny puppy, dozing in her arms, before raising her eyes
to Spike. “I think we still need to talk,” she said softly. “But I’m not
mad anymore.”

Spike breathed a sigh of relief. “Talking is good,” he said with a nod.

* * * * *

A few minutes later, Buffy held the sleeping puppy on her lap as she gently
stroked its fur. “You do know this is bribery, right?” she asked as Spike
looked at her with an innocent expression.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, luv,” he said with wide eyes.

Buffy gave him a soft smile, her eyes continuously traveling back to the
puppy. “What comes next?” she asked quietly.

“I was thinking that would be up to you,” he replied, watching her
anxiously.

Buffy stayed quiet for a moment, avoiding his eyes. “I like you, Spike,”
she whispered, almost shyly. “I’ve liked you since I first met you, and when
I thought that you were…you turned into the best friend I’ve ever had.”

Spike watched her carefully, restraining himself from reaching out and
touching her- he didn’t want to scare her off. “I feel the same, pet,” he
said softly, watching as Buffy raised her eyes to his.

“Then I’ll ask you again,” Buffy said with a hopeful expression. “What
comes next?”

Spike slowly slid over to her, careful not to wake the puppy as he slipped
an arm around her shoulders. “What if I said…us?”

“Us?”

“I’m sorry I lied, Buffy,” he whispered, brushing a gentle kiss along her
forehead as Buffy shut her eyes, enjoying the feel of him so close. “Am I
forgiven?”

Buffy didn’t answer as she angled her head, meeting his lips in a gentle
kiss. Spike let his hands drift up to her hair, holding her head in place
as his tongue drifted along her lower lip, begging entrance. Buffy moaned
when her lips parted, letting his tongue meet hers in a soft caress.

This was their first kiss. It was the first one not filled with confusion.
Not based on something fake.

The passion of the kiss slowly faded as Spike pulled away. Buffy looked at
him with clouded eyes before nervously biting her lip.

“What wrong?” he asked softly, letting his hand trail along her cheek.

“What happens if this doesn’t work out?” she asked. “We could lose what we
have.”

“Not necessarily,” Spike argued gently before smiling. “We could be like
Ross and Rachel.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow at him. “It took them more than ten years to figure
out what they had.”

“I don’t need to figure out what I have,” he replied in a husky whisper as
Buffy blushed.

He leaned in for another soft kiss before carefully pulling her off the
couch, watching with a smile as Sunshine opened her sleepy eyes to give them
a look of indignation.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted,” he said softly. “Someone wore
me out last night,” he finished with a grin as Buffy blushed. Spike
carefully took the puppy from Buffy and placed her in a dog bed that he’d
carried in earlier. He had to smile when the dog curled up comfortably and
went back to sleep.

“Lazy little thing, isn’t she?” he asked with a smile as Buffy giggled.

“What if she gets up in the middle of the night?” Buffy asked.

“We can put her in my room,” he said softly as he walked her to the stairs.
“I’ll hear if she gets up,” he continued, letting his hand trail over her
arm.

“How will you hear her if you’re upstairs?”

Spike tilted his head, studying Buffy as she took his hand in her smaller
one and began leading him up the staircase. “Buffy,” he finally whispered
as they got to the top of the stairs. “You don’t have to-“

His words were cut off as Buffy’s lips fused with his. Spike’s arms
immediately wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer as their tongues
dueled together.

Buffy broke away after a moment, leaving them both gasping for air as she
bit her bottom lip. Spike watched with lust-filled eyes as she began
backing toward the bed, slowly stripping her clothes along the way.

Buffy gave him a coy smile as the last of her clothes fell from her body,
causing Spike’s breath to come in small gasps as she slowly sat down on the
edge of the bed. He watched as she slid along the comforter, propping
herself up as she looked at him. “Aren’t you coming?”

Spike slipped his shirt over his head with a smirk as he approached the bed,
shedding the rest of his clothes before crawling the length of her body.
“Not yet,” he murmured, causing a red flush to tint Buffy’s cheeks. Spike
chuckled, shaking his head as he looked at her.

“What?” Buffy asked, suddenly self-conscious.

Spike leaned down, leaving a gentle kiss on her lips before answering.
“Look at what we’re about to do, and you’re embarrassed about a little
innuendo.”

Buffy giggled softly, her smile fading as Spike settled in between her legs,
letting her hips cradle his.

“Are you sure about this, Buffy?” he asked, letting his hands run through
her hair, keeping her as relaxed as possible.

“I’m sure,” she said softly, kissing along his neck and shoulders, smiling
when his muscles quivered under her touch.

Spike took a deep breath, easing into her body with a moan as Buffy moved
with him. He slowly began to thrust in and out of her, repressing ever urge
to pound into her welcoming body, not wanting to hurt her.

Buffy pushed against him, craving more contact. They moved together for
several minutes, slowly picking up speed as Spike began plunging into her
with more abandon. Their slick bodies each seeking release as their lips
met in a hungry kiss.

Spike could feel his climax approaching as Buffy writhed beneath him,
seconds before her muscles began fluttering, squeezing him almost painfully
as she screamed out her release.

Buffy’s scream of pleasure sent Spike over the edge as he thrust into her.
“Buffy!”

Both gasped for breath as Buffy let her hands trail along Spike’s back
before he slowly rose above her, looking into her emerald eyes.

“I never thought I’d have this,” he whispered, brushing the hair out of her
eyes.

Buffy felt her body tremble at the intensity of his gaze. “Me either,” she
whispered seconds before his lips met hers.

Spike slowly rolled, pulling Buffy with him as he left her comforting body.
“I don’t know about you, pet, but I’m exhausted.”

“Me too,” she murmured before a smile spread across her face. “Now…about
you ‘dating’ Xander…”

“Bloody hell,” Spike groaned, throwing his head back on the pillows as Buffy
giggled.

Chapter 16 – When You Love Someone


A month had passed since Spike confessed, and Buffy was happy that their relationship hadn’t diminished. If anything, it had grown stronger, especially due to the fact that they were a couple now instead of just being friends.

They went to the mall to shop one afternoon, entrusting Andrew with Sunshine. Buffy had flashbacks of the times they’d been there in the past, when she was clueless as to the fact he was really straight.

‘You think I would’ve noticed something was up,’ she thought, thinking about when they had been in Victoria’s Secret, grinning. ‘Well, figuratively speaking, at least.’ She giggled to herself as Spike looked at her.

“What’s so funny, luv?” he asked curiously, smiling at her while wrapping his arm around her waist.

“I just can’t believe I didn’t figure your little lie out sooner,” she shrugged. “I mean, I know I was in denial about stuff, but really, how could you be gay? The poetry is a little questionable still, and I wasn’t kidding that day about dressing like a member of the Village People-“

“Hey!” Spike interrupted indignantly.

“BUT,” Buffy continued, bringing his attention back to her. “You’re not like any of the gay guys I’ve ever known.”

“Not every gay guy is like Andrew,” Spike chuckled, lightly kissing her temple as she laughed.

“I thought you two were buddies?” she asked, smirking. Spike looked down at her and smirked, too.

“A person can only handle so much nerdy stuff,” he replied. She shot him a look playfully.

“Andrew isn’t a nerd,” she said, trying not to smile. “He’s a passionate hobbyist.” Spike laughed again.

“Right, I can agree to that,” he said before leaning down and kissing her. “Now, let’s have another trip back to Victoria’s Secret,” he said, biting his lips and raising an eyebrow at her as she giggled.

“Going to pick things out for me?” she asked suggestively. He groaned and kissed her again before grabbing her hand and pulling her along behind him to the store.

* * * * *

The couple returned to their apartment hours later, bags from various stores filling their hands. Sunshine came bounding towards them before jumping on Buffy’s leg, her tail wagging excitedly.

“Well, hello, cutie,” she grinned, picking the dog up in her arms. She noticed a pout on Spike’s lips. “What?”

“You called her my nickname,” he answered. Buffy kissed him softly. “I suppose I’ll forgive you.”

“Thanks ever so,” she laughed, petting the dog’s head. She noticed Andrew sitting on the couch, paging through a magazine. “How’s it going, Andrew?” He closed the magazine and stood up.

“Pretty well,” he replied. “How was shopping?” He looked at all of the bags. “Productive?”

“You betcha,” Buffy giggled, putting down Sunshine. “Thanks for watching her for us.”

“Not a problem,” Andrew shrugged, heading for the door. “I like dogs. She seems like a kindred spirit.” Both Buffy and Spike exchanged a look as Andrew opened the door. “Well, I better go,” he continued. “I have a date.”

“Really? With who?” Buffy asked.

“Oh, a guy I met at the grocery store. His name is Jonathon Levinson and he seems really nice. I’ll see you around,” he said with a wave as he left, and the couple instantly smiled at each other.

“’Kindred spirit’?” Spike asked, looking at her. “Maybe he’s found his own.” Buffy nodded.

“And I was thinking about introducing him to that Lorne guy who owns the club down the street,” Spike said with a smile as Buffy laughed.

“He can always be a back-up,” she said before a wicked smile flashed on her features. “Unless you want to fill in that role…since you’re so close, after all.”

“Will you stop it?” he asked, grinning, coming closer to her and tickling her. She shrieked loudly, breaking down into hysterics before she managed to fight back, getting him to laugh, too. “Fine. Truce?”

“Yeah,” she agreed, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. “You’re forgiven.”

* * * * *

Buffy and Spike decided to take Sunshine to the beach after dinner, right around sunset. The beach was practically deserted, so they unleashed her, letting her run through the shallow surf and follow them as they walked down the beach, hand-in-hand. The dog never strayed far from Buffy, anyway.

Buffy looked at him, seeing how the sun’s dying rays cascaded over his features, making him look even more gorgeous than normal. She smiled brightly and squeezed his hand.

“Spike?” she asked quietly. He looked at her, slightly concerned. “I love you.” He instantly stopped walking, an eyebrow raised. She smiled and put her hands on his hips, looking up at him. “I’ve loved you for a long time. As a friend originally, but I always secretly wanted it to be something more. And now that it is…I just wanted to tell you. I’m in love with you.” He paused before grinning and picking her up, swinging her around in a circle. “Spike!” He put her back down and kissed her as passionately as he could, cupping her face in his hands. When they finally broke apart to breathe, they locked eyes and rested their foreheads together.

“I love you, too,” he whispered, running his hand over her hair and kissing her softly this time. “I love you so bloody much, Buffy. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to say that to you.”

“Since we met, right?” she joked, giggling. He laughed, too, and held her close to him in a hug.

“Something like that, yeah,” he replied. “I just didn’t think that you loved me back, yet.”

“You knew I’d love you?” she asked, looking at him and smiling. He returned the smile.

“I wished it,” he said, looking into her eyes. Sunshine suddenly nuzzled her nose into Buffy’s leg. She promptly bent down and picked her up, petting her. “She looks sleepy.”

“Should we take her home and get her to bed?” Buffy asked, looking at him.

“Sure,” he smiled, wiggling his eyebrows. “I’ll take both of my girls home and get them to bed.”

“You’re evil,” Buffy giggled, kissing him and taking his hand in hers again. “I better be the only girl in our bed.”

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Spike replied, leading them back towards the car.